I took a long fucking look in the mirror last night. I said no. I said I'm worthless, pathetic, ugly, fat, and stupid. So I cut a lot just to prove to myself how worthless I really am. I'm not eating anymore. I didn't eat today and I'm not eating tomorrow. I don't care anymore.

Life sucks. What else is new? School's okay. I'm going to be in the talent show. I'm reading a poem. I'm kind of nervous because I don't think people will like it or what they'll think of it. I've been sick and I have a nasty cough. I want to cut sooooo badly. I did today...and other days, but it hurts. My arms hurt a lot and the cuts aren't even ( Read more... )

Last night I decided to go to bed around 11:30. My parents were watching a movie like they normally do on Saturday nights. And also like they normally do on Saturday nights, they both were drinking. So then they start fighting. They started off by just yelling at each other over who knows what (my mom was doing most of the yelling, as always). Then ( Read more... )

Yesterday sucked. It was SO horrible I wanted to die. I forgot my locker combination. I've had that locker for 3 years, and I just completely forgot the combination. It happened after lunch. I was messing with it and trying different numbers and that made me late for study hall. But I said fuck it, I'm already late I want to get this open. But I ( Read more... )

There's not much worth writing about. School's still a pain in the ass, but it's going better. Well, most of my classes are. In French I'm just completely lost, but I guess I always was. I scheduled an appointment with my guidance counselor a week ago and I haven't had an appointment. That's good service. People at school are bothering me a bit. ( Read more... )

I presented my senior project today. It went really really well. I'm so relieved.

When I die, are you going to remember me? Not just remember who I am, but really remember me?

I don't really have time to write this, but I am anyway. I am so frustrated and tired. I just want to sleep. I've spent every night doing homework all night. It's all make up work. Now I have a big psych test tomorrow, which I don't want to take because I know I'm going to fail even if I do study for it, which I am. But it's my fault for being out ( Read more... )

I'm finally getting a chance to update. I've been really busy since I've been going back to school. All week after school I end up doing hours and hours of school work. I'm not too far behind, surprisingly. And all my teachers are being okay about it and saying to take my time with it all. I was in in-school all week. It was nice because there was ( Read more... )

Me and my parents went to the nursing home to visit my grandmother yesterday. I hate going there. Those old people smell of oldness or something. They talk but some of them don't make any sense. So I just kind of smile and pretend I'm listening. But my grandmother was happy to see me, as always. While we were there, my brother came in with his wife ( Read more... )

Today was a pretty good day. I hung out with some friends. It was nice to get away from my house for a little. I'm feeling okay too, I guess. I don't know, I just don't think the Zoloft is working for me. But I probably still need to give it more time. I haven't cut as much lately. I think I made two little cuts last night and that was it. I've got ( Read more... )