Fic: I Need You to Trust Me (6/?)
Title: Don't Lie to Me
Rating: PG-13
Words: ~2,150
Pairing(s): RL/SB, background LE/JP
Warnings: discussion of rape, angst
Summary: Remus gets a surprise from Sirius.
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, I make no claim to own them and am not making any money off of them.
Prequel || Chapter One || Chapter Two || Chapter Three || Chapter Four || Chapter Five || Chapter Six || Chapter Seven
After dinner, the four Marauders are back in the common room and Sirius is quickly scratching out Remus' potions essay. It has always irked Remus, if only a small amount, that he has to study so very hard to even approach doing as well as Sirius and James. But then, regardless of what his mother has always said, Remus believes that a pureblood upbringing has its merits - James and Sirius always had tutors in their youth while Remus spent his childhood baking and gardening with his mother, learning to count with the assistance of blocks and petals. And while Remus would never trade his childhood for one of his friends', he is aware of the difference a strong foundation in subject matter can make.
James is trying to talk Remus into writing his mother back, but he still isn't sure what to say. "I think you should just tell her that some git snuck upstairs and attacked you," James says, releasing his snitch so that he can catch it once more in nimble fingers.
Remus groans audibly. "She'll want to know why he went to all the trouble to attack me in my dormitory and why I don't know who it was."
Sirius looks up from the almost completed essay and Remus is still surprised that the boy held up his end of the bargain. "It's simple, Moony. Tell her they took Polyjuice potion. It's the truth, and it's a good cover. If you don't know who it was, how can you know why they did it? Right?" Remus nods belatedly and shrugs.
"I guess so. But you know how I feel about lying to my mum."
"You're going to have to man up one of these days, Moony." James pulls at his dress shirt. "Why don't you write her now?" Peter helpful produces a sheet of parchment and waves it under Remus' nose.
Remus snatches the parchment from his friend and gives him a pointed glare. "Fine, I will."
Dear Mum,
Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you, but things have been rather busy this week. I'm not sure what Madam Pomfrey told you, but really: I'm fine. Someone must've taken Polyjuice potion, so they looked like Sirius. While he was out, they came up to the dormitories and attacked me. It wasn't too bad of a scuffle (honestly, I think they meant to get James or Sirius back for some stupid prank and I just got caught in the crossfire.) I'm completely healed by now so, please, don't worry about me anymore.
The cookies were delicious, thank you. James and Sirius ate most of them while I was sleeping, but the ones I managed to eat were wonderful. I hope you didn't go to too much trouble to make them.
I asked Sirius about Christmas, but he hasn't answered me one way or another. I think he really wants to spend Christmas at the Potters', he's just too scared of you to say no outright. But if he does, eventually, give me a definitive answer, I will let you know right away.
I am studying for my NEWTs, I promise. James, Sirius and Peter keep trying to dissuade me from doing so, but I've managed to fend them off so far.
How are things on the farm? Professor Dumbledore has been talking to me about what I might do after school and I was wondering if you and father might be involved as well?
Your son,
Remus
"There, I wrote it," Remus says, folding the parchment and stuffing it into an envelope before James can snatch it out of his hands to read it. "I'm going to go and mail it."
"Want me to come with you?" Peter offers, clearly hoping to be let in on some secret that the other boys won't know.
"No thank you, Wormtail. You can stay and play a round of exploding snap with Prongs." Peter has had the deck of card out for some time now and keeps glancing at it hopefully.
"I'll go with you!" Sirius shouts, rolling up the completed essay and tying it with a piece of ribbon. "I've just finished." Remus rolls his eyes - he knows that he'll do very well on that essay and it barely took Sirius an hour to write it.
"Alright, come on then, Padfoot. Let's go." Remus doesn't wait for his friend, but instead climbs out of the portrait hole, knowing that the other boy will follow at his own pace. Sirius catches up shortly, all cocky smiles and nonchalant airs. He bumps his shoulder into Remus'.
"What'd you say to her?" he asks, sounding for all the world as though he's talking about something that is no more important than the weather. But Remus cringes and shrugs his shoulders, staring ahead resolutely, even though he knows Sirius is trying desperately to make reassuring eye contact. "You don't want to tell me?" Remus doesn't answer because he does want to share with his best friend, but he can't tell Sirius. Because if he tells Sirius, someone else who knows the full truth will know exactly what is in the letter, and the lie becomes real. It won't be just him and his mother who know the words upon the parchment, someone else will know and Remus won't be able to convince himself that lying to his mother is a good thing. So he shrugs and remains silent and prays that his friend will mind his own business for once. "Well, did you at least tell her to expect me for Christmas? I eat rather a lot, you know."
Remus stops. "You never said…I thought you wanted to go to James'?"
"He's my best mate and all, but sometimes he drives me barmy. I need a break from our loveable, arrogant toe rag every now and then. Don't you?" Remus nods and grins as they scale the stairs to the owlery, making a mental note that he'll need to write his mother another letter.
After sending his owl off with the letter, Remus heads back to the dormitory with Sirius. They don't talk much as they maneuver their way through the halls, watching for students with whom Remus would rather not interact and suddenly shifting staircases. It isn't until they get to the portrait hole that Remus stops and turns to look at Sirius. "Mum will be glad you've decided to come and stay for the holidays. And…" For reasons of which he's unsure, Remus blushes and turns to look at the Fat Lady. "I'm really glad you're coming, too." His smile is the first genuine one that Sirius has seen in days, and it makes the prospect of telling James about his choice much less daunting.
It's taken some time, but by the day that the four boys are boarding the Hogwarts' Express to go home for Christmas, James seems to have (mostly) forgiven Sirius and Remus. His feelings are still hurt, as is evidenced by his sullen frown, but the boys have promised to come to his house for New Year's and he is as satisfied as he's ever going to be.
After lugging their trunks up onto the shelves above their heads, Remus and Sirius sit down on one side of the compartment while Lily and James fill the other. Peter is already searching the train for the witch with the trolley even as the train begins to move away from Hogsmeade. Remus yawns and leans his head against the compartment wall, pulling his foot up to rest his thigh against his stomach. The night before, the Marauders partied together with far more alcohol than usual, and all four boys are suffering from rather worse hangovers than they are accustomed to. Sirius reclines back against Remus' shin, stretches his legs out across the seats and groans about his headache.
Across the compartment, Lily is nattering on about Christmas shopping and how they should all meet up at Diagon Alley to do any last minute shopping together. Remus can tell that James isn't listening very closely because his eyelids keep fluttering shut as his head nods forward and he's grunting and humming in all of the wrong places.
Remus drapes an arm over Sirius shoulder and loosens his scarf, closing his eyes. The temperature in the compartment is comfortable and Lily's voice soon becomes white noise as Sirius' breaths come in more even gusts, his back moving up and down against Remus' bent leg. Before Peter returns, Remus dozes off as well. When he wakes again, the sky has already darkened outside the train and the stars are moving lazily across the windows. Sirius has made himself more comfortable against Remus in his sleep, limbs tangled around the werewolf's leg, head lolling back against his side, mouth gaping open and emitting loud snores (as well as no small amount of drool). Without thinking, Remus wraps the end of his sleeve over his fist and wipes the dribble off Sirius' chin.
"Aww…." Peter's obnoxious teasing reminds Remus that he is not alone in the compartment and he snaps his head up. James and Peter have been flipping absently through Quidditch Weekly. James is staring oddly at Remus, but Peter has already gone back to reading the article. Remus yawns and stretches (as much as he can with Sirius sleeping on him).
"Where's Lily?" he asks, voice and mind still slightly sleep addled.
"Went to spend some time with her mates," James says, shrugging his shoulders and looking back at the magazine. Remus shifts because his foot is asleep and Sirius grunts, tightening his grip on Remus' thigh and there's a fluttering heat in Remus' stomach. He frowns and runs a hand through his hair, brushing the too long tawny strands out of his line of sight. Remus isn't sure if the butterflies in his stomach are fear or happiness. He doesn't consider that they could be caused by both. He puts his hands under Sirius' head and lifts the boy gently so that he can move his legs, setting Sirius down to rest on his lap.
"How much time is left, do you think?" he asks.
"Just an hour, I think," James answers without looking up.
Remus picks some of the lint off of his sweater and wonders if - now that they're closer to home - James is mad at him again for asking Sirius to come over for the holidays. It's the first time his mom has offered, because previous to this year, they hadn't had a big enough space to have company for two weeks. But his family bought a new farm last year, and Remus knows that his mom was just trying to be welcoming to his friends - and Sirius is the one that Remus talks about the most. "I'm sorry," he offers quietly.
"What?" James says. At least he looks up this time.
"I'm sorry that I invited Sirius over for the holidays, I know you wanted him to stay with you."
James shrugs his shoulders. "I don't care. He lives with me all of the time." He cocks his head to the side and stares at Remus for a moment. "Really, you don't have to worry, Remus. I'm not upset anymore." Remus sees the sincerity in James' eyes, but rather than being reassured, he now finds himself concerned about the real reason his friend is upset with him. Sirius wakes just before they pull into the train station and stretches, yawning widely and almost smacking Remus in the face by accident. He offers the boy a lopsided grin in way of apology and it doesn't take long for them all to get their trunks and file off of the train. James is saying goodbye to Lily and then the four of them are exchanging farewells and Remus tries not to look embarrassed when his mother comes over to kiss his cheek. Soon they are driving home in his dad's pick up and his mom turns around, gripping the back of her seat to look at Sirius.
"We're so glad you decided to come for the holidays, Sirius." She is smiling brightly and prods her husband who nods without taking his eyes off of the road.
"Thank you for inviting me," Sirius says dutifully.
"Of course. I made some of those chocolate cookies that I sent Remus before, since you seemed to like them so much." She reaches out to brush her hand over her son's knees and grins once more before turning back to sit facing forwards in her seat. Sirius smiles and it's almost a bashful one, knocks Remus' knee with his own and looks out of the small window to watch the muggles driving by.