i feel like livejournal is just my never ending outlet for monetary stress. typing on german qwertz keyboards is fucking with the years of training that went between my fingers and brain to allow me to type really efficiently. i have to ask my father for even more money in order to survive here for one more month ( Read more... )

being a student in germany is a huge pain in the ass if not impossible ( Read more... )

im coming home in six weeks ( Read more... )

i thought i wanted to know if he was with someone else. im a hypocrite and i was wrong.

i hate having to worry about money and i look forward to the point in my life where it doesn't have to be something that secretly claws at the edges of my subconscious. the weather in berlin is really summer and hot right now, which is surprising because last week it dipped down to hoodie acceptable and now all this week has been in the mid to ( Read more... )

springtime in berlin is the most amazing thing ever.
i barely ever write in here anymore.
i cut my hair and gave myself straight-across bangs like i had when i was 6.
i miss my mom a whole lot.
im coming home in three months yuck.
middlebury is going to be amazing next year.
im going to get a puppy and name it something great.

you and i ( Read more... )

is it weird to feel so overwhelmed by everything at twenty one? i guess it's normal and most likely enviable. when one is overwhelmed by life at 50, maybe they are missing a firm grasp on their situation? i feel like i could write pages and pages and pages about berlin. i need to start getting my sleep cycle together, drinking and smoking less ( Read more... )

i pick up crushes on boys like its nothing. i remember the time in my life when this started, but im wondering when it will end. i feel as if its almost unhealthy to harbor crushes of so many varying levels too - stupid giggly crushes, life ending crushes, vaguely interested crushes. when do i stop being boy crazy ( Read more... )

why i am an idiot (a selection from a plethora of reasons):

last night i went out with luisa instead of traipsing back home and ended up joining tables at schwarzes cafe with these crazy germans and this dude bought us roses and shots called b-52s and so i ended up stumbling home and getting to bed around 5 am ( Read more... )