(no subject)
Title: I fought the law...
Chapter: three of eight
Author: coooodes aka Billy
Word Count: 54,549 words
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: AU, violence, character death, antisemitism, homosexual insinuation
Pairings: Teddy/Billy
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the computer which I wrote this on.
masterpost
chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five chapter six chapter seven chapter eight
“What are you doing here Altman?” his godfather asked as soon as Theodore stepped in through his office door, his voice deep and annoyed, gaze following his every move. Theodore didn't answer immediately, instead he shut the door and turned the lock so that no one would be interrupting their conversation, before turning to face the older man.
“I needed to see you” he stated and seated himself without getting permission to do so. He could not have cared less about whether Anthony felt like throwing him out of the room or not, because he knew what he had to say was more important than if he would have to turn in his gun or not. “It is important, about the case...”
“I told you, you should not think about that anymore kid...” the dark haired man sighed as he leaned back in his chair, scratching his stubble with a rough fingertip. He sounded tired, but stern. Theodore felt his stomach clench hard. His father would never have let Anthony use that tone when speaking to him, he was sure.
“Look” he said after taking a deep breath and locked his eyes to the other's firmly. “I don't know what is going on here, I have been kept in the dark ever since I came here to work and to be quite honest, it is taking a toll on me, Anthony. I was almost killed the other day, if I had been any further into that alley I would have been blown to bits, then what would you have told my mother? I am not sure why you are doing this to me, whether you think am too weak to handle this job or...”
“Don't even say for one second that I am doubting you?” the man opposite him interrupted abruptly and Theodore felt his eyes widening in shock.
“Be quiet!” he spat, almost immediately, standing up from the chair with so much force it smashed to the floor behind him. “How can you expect me to think otherwise when all you do is keep the truth from me?! I am not a child anymore, Anthony, in case you hadn't noticed prior to this moment. I am twenty five years old, which in fact is only slightly younger than my father was when my mother gave birth to me. So you listen to me, now, not tomorrow. Now. Because if I say I have something important I need to talk to you about, I expect you to sit quietly on your ass and listen to every Goddamn word I have to say to you.”
The other one just sat there, eyes wide and body tense. Theodore was breathing heavily, his head feeling warm enough for his rage to be visible on his cheeks. He was leaning his body weight on his palms against the desk, feeling them sweat more than they normally did. The most uncomfortable feeling in the world.
“Thank you” he continued when the other finally nodded as if telling him his conditions would be met. “As I was saying... I have no idea whether you have kept things from me because you think me weak, because you are scared I will get hurt or... if it is because of the fact that you do not trust me with the information you are possessing. What I do know, is that there is a lot that you have never told me, a lot that I should have known but you have always kept it so far away from me that I hardly knew the information excised. You see, whenever I get close enough... you push me away. And I cannot stand here and tolerate that anymore...”
“For all it's worth...” the other said, looking away as if he had problems even meeting Theodore's eyes at the moment. It was embarrassing for him, this. “...I do worry about you, because I know firsthand what happened to your father, and I was there when it devastated your mother. I could not see the same thing happen to you...”
Theodore decided to comment on that later. He did not have the strength left in his voice to scream again. But he would remember this... even though Anthony might not even have realized what it was that he had just said. Instead he drew a deep breath again and continued, as if his godfather hadn't even spoken in between.
“I need to tell you something now, which is very important...” He was seating himself again as he spoke, feeling shaky to the knees from standing and screaming from the soles of his shoes. “The thing is, I have no idea if you know it or not, so before I tell you what it is I want you to promise me something...”
“Anything.”
“I have received my information from the man who was brought here as a suspect after my accident” Theodore nodded and watched Anthony's face closely for any reaction. He saw none. If that meant the man was not surprised or that he could just hide reactions like that very well from showing in his face, Theodore wasn't sure. “And his condition for talking to me about all this, because of the safety of his family, was that in exchange for this information, the police will not come knocking on his door again.”
“Why did you promise this?” The question was asked simply and without any kind of judging tone in his voice.
“Because I wanted the information and because I know what he is going through, at least I think I do. I don't want him to have his family killed because someone else has the wrong idea of them” he admitted plainly. “If the police comes and knocks on their door once a month, they will be in serious danger...”
“You did it out of pity?”
His rage bubbled up immediately but Theodore swallowed it while clenching his jaw for a second. It wasn't worth it. “No” he then answered with a strained smile. “Compassion Anthony...”
“Ah... So you are asking me to promise I will not send more people looking for his family?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, that is exactly what I am doing” he nodded. It wasn't harder than that. Only problem now was that if Anthony said he could not do that, it meant the man still knew William had important information he could tell the police. He could still go after the Kaplan family and interrogate them all, if he did not agree to the terms which Theodore had promised William he would... “Will you?”
“...I will”
Theodore relaxed slightly, trying to hide the fact that he was. “Good...” he then continued. He then proceeded to tell his boss what his and William's conversation had been about, without giving away too much of the personal things. The older man sat there, listening in silence, eyes blinking slowly, face not giving anything away. At least not until Theodore came to the part with the gangs hide out, as he did so, Anthony straightened up in his chair.
“You're saying that this boy, this... young man, knows for sure that this is where the Eastman's are?” he asked, as soon as Theodore had paused to take a breather. There was something glowing in his eyes, eagerness maybe? It was hard to tell. But Theodore felt slightly threatened by it, that glimpse of authority, demanding answers. “How can he know? He is only a man from the slums...”
“That is exactly why he knows. He lives in the slums, right in the middle of it all, he hears everything going on in their neighborhood, sees what happens on the streets. I would not be surprised if we found even more information, hiding behind closed doors of people who are too scared to come forth... but this one did, and we should be thankful for that”
“And how will we know he is not telling us a lie? That if I was to send my men to this location, they would not be met by armed forces, prepared to fire?”
“I...” Theodore had not at all thought about it. He didn't even know what to say. He had spoken to William face to face, and wouldn't that have revealed his true intentions if that was what they were? The man had even been crying. No. He had not been lying. He couldn't have been. No one could be that good at hiding the truth, not when crying like that. And he had the kids too, he would not have let Theodore see them if they had something to do with all this... Right? “I don't believe he lied. It might be hard for you to understand, but I know what I felt when I was with him... and it was not... I mean, he didn't at all seem like someone who would lie like that...”
“But you do not know him, do you? How can you know for sure?”
“If you've already decided on not trusting my judgment on this then just say so. I will not keep defending this cause if you will not even try to believe me”
“I have not decided on anything, I am merely trying to shine a light on the fact that you went to speak to a known criminal about things you hardly know anything about, without even knowing if he could be trusted or if he would have killed you instantly upon arriving... is that evil of me?”
“A known criminal?” Theodore asked without even caring to answer the older one's question. “I thought you said before that you had no clue who he was, how can he suddenly be a known criminal to you?”
“He has done some things, things involving his father, that we did not know about until recently...”
“Recently meaning yesterday when you conveniently forgot to tell me about it, yes?”
“Do not use that tone Theodore” Anthony sighed and stood up, turning away to look out the window. He seemed to be less comfortable around him than he usually was. Maybe that was a good thing, could mean Theodore had been able to hit a nerve somewhere. “I am only trying to explain things to you... but as you said, if you have already decided not to trust my judgment, it would be better for me to not tell you a thing”
Do not use my own words against me... he thought but remained silent. He knew this was just something his godfather said for him to feel guilty about judging him. Of course he did not, he was allowed to judge the man who seemed to have all the answers and yet did nothing but lie about the truth.
“The man you are talking about, is dangerous for all we know...” Anthony continued when he realized Theodore was not going to speak. “As you said, my men even beat him to get him to talk and all we could get out of him was some curses and angry looks. He even spat Barton in the face...”
“And this means that he is dangerous? Has it occurred to you that maybe he was trying to protect his family?”
“And why would he protect his family by withholding information from us, the police, who only try to help?” the man grinned as he looked back to Theodore over his shoulder. “There seems to be a glitch in his explanation and I would love to talk to him myself about all this”
“But you won't” he replied firmly and got up from his seat, feeling so disappointed with this entire meeting that he wished he had not even come here in the first place. The man did not even seem happy that they knew now where the Eastman gang were hiding. “Because you promised me, and therefore you also promised him...”
“Have I ever told you, how very much like your father you are?”
The question took Theodore by surprise and he just stood there for seconds, staring at the other man's face, now that he had turned back towards him. Why would he say something like that now? After all these years when he had never even said a word...
“No, you haven't”
“Well, you are” the man nodded and shrugged before turning back towards the window. “Thank you for the information, it has been very enlightening... however, if I remember correctly, you have been relieved of your duties and should not even be here. I won't take your gun, because you keep putting yourself in danger, but if you come back here anytime soon, I can promise you I will. Is that understood?”
“Yes, sir”
“Good. Now, leave me alone. I have a lot of work to do before I can tell the others what you have just told me...”
Theodore only nodded. He was feeling empty now. The rage had slipped right off him without him even realizing it had happened. He walked towards the door, his feet heavy against the cold floor and he was just about to turn the knob when he was stopped by the other one's words again.
“By the way” he said, a smile on his face. You could tell from the sound of his voice. “Your mother told me she wishes to see you soon”
“Why would she tell you that, and not me?”
“I went to visit her the other day” Anthony admitted and turned towards him again, but Theodore felt no need to face him. It was better to show the rage in your face if you were turned towards a door than your boss. “She said you have not paid her a visit in weeks and wonders if she can come and visit you soon?”
“I haven't had time. But if she wishes to see me, why don't you tell her to come over, instead of giving you a message for me...”
“Are you angry with her?”
“Why would you think that, Anthony?”
“You sound upset?”
Now he turned anyway, his cheeks already blooming with annoyed blush. “It is not my mother I am angry with, Anthony. Frankly, I am not even angry anymore, I am disappointed. I though you of all people would understand what I came here to tell you. Instead all I get is excuses, lies and pity for my mother's sake...”
“I am afraid I don't quite follow..?”
“You said you worry about something happening to me, because you don't want to see my mother hurt again” he answered, opening the door. “I would say, I am quite surprised you were more concerned about my mother's feelings than the fact that I might have died the other day. But you be sure to tell her I love her, in case you cause my death next time? I can't imagine what she would say or do, but at least I will be out of your way and you won't have to worry about her losing anyone else anymore.”
He stepped out and closed the door behind him. He knew he had been acting like a child, but after all, he had never done so before, not even when he had been one. His mother had been a sad widow, with not much strength left in her to remarry after his father's passing. He had done everything in his power to support her and make her smile, he loved her with all his heart. But to realize that her feelings were more important to the only father figure he had ever truly known, than his own life... it made him feel letdown. Insignificant.
It took him less than ten minutes after that, to walk into the small shop on the other side of the road and purchase some food for later that evening and come back out again. The air was thicker than it usually was around these parts of the city and he wished momentarily that he had brought a scarf with him so that he could have covered his mouth. The black smoke always made him cough more than what he felt comfortable with.
“Detective!”
He spun around on the spot and forced himself to smile as he was met by the blue gaze of Steven Rogers, the man standing only a few yards away, waving at him. At first, he wondered what this could be about, whether he was supposed to walk over to his coworker and friend, but as he saw the worried wrinkle on the older one's face, he was even more clueless on how to act. Lucky enough for him, within seconds, the blonde man was by his side and had grabbed him by the arm, already walking down the road with him.
“I have to talk to you...” His voice was rushed and his cheeks flushed. Was he worrying about something? Apparently so. The man was looking behind them as they rounded a corner, as if looking to see so that they were not followed.
“What is it Rogers?” Theodore asked, trying to whisper so that he would not alarm the man further, who seemed a lot more upset than he had ever seen him before. “Did something happen..?”
“I...” the other one started but bit his lips, eyes glossy with worry. “I shouldn't tell you... I know I shouldn't...”
“Please...” Theodore tried, his fingers gripping both Steven's shoulders gently as he looked up into those bright eyes. “I know it must be difficult, but I cannot be held in the dark any longer, Rogers. I have been kept in the dark all my life... please, just this once, can you tell me what is going on?”
The words seemed to pain the blonde man even more, because he almost whimpered and bit down so hard on his bottom lip there was blood to be seen. Theodore took his eyes off of them and let them stay at his friend's eyes instead, begging with every fiber of his body that this man could be trusted to tell him the truth. He wished so hard for it that he could have promised him anything in exchange for only one little piece of the truth.
“I can't, I...”
“Steven...” he interrupted immediately and shook his head. “Don't do this. You came here for a reason and that reason must still exist. If there is something you think I should know, please, tell me? You are my friend and I trust you. Believe me, I will never tell anyone you have spoken to me, if that is what you are afraid of? As long as you promise to do the same, and not tell anyone I was here to listen to your words... are we agreed?”
“Yes” the other one nodded and seemed to be taking a deep breath, his eyes flickering to the ground momentarily before he eventually gathered his courage and spoke up. “I heard a part of your conversation...” he admitted and the blush was once more visible on his cheeks. “I could not shut it out, because your voice was loud and I guess I have good hearing. I heard what the chief promised you, what he promised to that man they brought in the other day... But as you left, he immediately informed the rest of us that we are going to bring him in... him and his mother, for questioning about their involvement in the Eastman situation... He's ordered us... them, to find out where they live now and take them in, as soon as possible...”
“He wouldn't...?” Theodore started, his heart beating franticly against his chest, but he knew Steven was not lying about this. He could see the panic in his eyes, hear the worry in his voice. Anthony had deliberately lied again, just like all the other times when he had promised. “I... how much time..?” He eventually managed to ask, afraid of the answer but knowing that he had to act as soon as possible if he was going to be able to help William's family at all.
“I have taken over the responsibility of finding their location...” the other answered quickly, a slight smile spreading over his face. “That doesn't mean you have all the time in the world however, I can't give you that. If I took too long, someone would get to do it instead. But I might be able to assure you the night... if I do not have the address until morning, he has to go home and sleep through the night before getting to it in the morning. And you will have the dark hours to do... whatever you need to do”
“Would you really do that..?” Theodore managed to ask, his body feeling faintly weak all of a sudden. Only one night? What would he do? How would he be able to help? In what manner..? He had promised not to come knocking on their door... he would have to now anyway, wouldn't he? “I mean, if the chief finds out you have been helping me, them... you might lose your job?”
“I believe there are more important things sometimes, than keeping ones job when people are in danger...” His voice was calm and steady, his words making more sense than any words Theodore had ever heard before. “I was running an errand earlier today, downtown... I saw you talking to him in the park...” He paused and looked away, apparently slightly ashamed he had even been looking. “...I saw the kids, the smile on his face when they left, the way the little one clasped his hand when they crossed the street and the soft care shining through his eyes as they passed me by... that is something worth saving, not my job. I believe the chief might need to look slightly further beyond what he knows, start seeing what is truly important, right in front of him...” There was something sad in his voice, something Theodore could not even read from the older man's face. But there was a smile there too, when Steven looked back up to meet his eyes again. “If I know they will be safe, I will give you as much time as I possibly can to help them...”
“I promise I will do what I can to get them to safety as well” he nodded back, hands pressing gently on the other's shoulders before letting go entirely again. “Thank you Steven, you are a good friend”
“Don't thank me just yet...” the older one chuckled nervously and backed away a couple of steps. “I might screw up, like I always do...”
“You won't”
“If there is anything else, please let me know?”
Theodore nodded but had no more time to speak, because Steven was already turning, heading back for the office with his hands shoved down into his pockets. Theodore himself just stood there for a while, watching the man disappear around the corner. He was a good man, truly a good friend. It was a sad thing he had not realized this sooner in life... He was sure Steven had been feeling just as lonely as he had himself. After all, he had never even married.
...
It took him some time to get back to his apartment building, since he felt disoriented and took a wrong turn twice. When he was finally behind closed doors, he sank down on his bed and sighed, face buried in his palms as he desperately tried to come up with a solution to this major problem he was having. It was hard to at all understand how he could possibly have not seen this coming for him. Of course he should not have promised William such a naïve thing but... what should he have done instead? Just kept quiet about it, just... ignored the fact that he had wanted the information? His head hurt and his body felt like it was falling apart, still he got up only moments later and got to work, knowing that there was no turning back from this. He had to see this one through now. He owed William and the boys that.
Half past one, in the middle of the night, he was heading down the dark street, his coat firmly wrapped around his body and a scarf around his neck. He had taken his own advice this time and brought one, just in case he would almost die of cold or the smoke rising from thousands of chimneys. He had already walked for twenty minutes, he was sure, trying not to attract any attention to himself from the few people still outside around this late hour. There was a crisp sense to the air this night, colder than earlier. Maybe there would even be snow.
The Bowery was dark though everything else but quiet. He lowered his head and made sure his bowler covered his fair hair as much as possible. It was better that way. He wouldn't want anyone here remembering there had been someone like him walking the streets on the night of the disappearance of the Kaplan family. He found the front door, more with the help of luck than a sense of direction and almost ran the stairs to the second floor. Door 23 was not hard to find after that. It was gathering the courage to knock that was the big issue. Even though he knew there was not much time, it took him more than ten minutes before he eventually put his knuckles to the wood, palms sweaty and heart beating quicker and quicker by every second passing. All it took was for one neighbor to open the door and see him, and his plan would be for nothing...
The door in front of him squeaked as it was opened, slowly, and Theodore took a quick step back, in case someone would suddenly push it open hard to fend him off. To his relief, the one opening the door was William, all dressed as if it was in the middle of the day, mild surprise shining through his eyes.
“Altman..?” he said after a couple of seconds. “Why are you here..? I thought...”
“Yeah, listen...” Theodore interrupted and looked around, feeling almost as jumpy as Steven had looked down on the street some hours ago. “Can I come inside? I don't think it is a good idea if someone sees me out here...”
The dark haired man seemed surprised at the question, but still eager to find it what was going on and opened the door more because of this reason. He locked it firmly behind Theodore's back and then showed him into a small kitchen where a calm fire was lit in the old stove. The youngest brother was sleeping in a convertible kitchen bench next to the warmth of it. The sofa looked not to have been meant for sleeping in, but they had obviously removed the hard surface made for sitting on and stuffed the empty space inside with something soft. He looked fairly comfortable in there, at least for the moment. It was cold though, in the rest of the room and Theodore looked around for any other source of light than the stove and some candles on top of it, finding nothing. He noticed a door however, half open, leading into another room where he suspected the rest of the family slept...
When he looked back at William, he realized the man had been watching him closely for the past minute without a word. Now he looked away, towards the sleeping boy and smiled a bit. “I guess you don't have much experience with living under these conditions, do you?”
“I don't” Theodore admitted and scratched his neck a bit, looking at the boy as well. “I am sorry you've had to live like this... no human being should have to go through something like this...”
“Thank you, but we're handling it detective” the man smiled and pulled out an old chair from the side of the table. “Sit, and do tell me why you are here..?”
Theodore did as he was told and tried not to notice the smell coming from the wood of the wall next to him. Mold. He drew a deep breath and looked back those wondering eyes, the soft relaxation in the other's face. He thought it would all be ok now, that it was all over... how was it that Theodore always had to be the bearer of bad news?
“I talked to my godfather...” he then started and kept his eyes fixed to the others as he spoke. “He promised me that he would not come after you or send anyone here to talk to you again...”
“But?”
“He lied” The words felt harsh and wrong as he spoke, his rage and disappointment burning in his eyes and chest already. “He lied to me straight in the face... he is coming here, for your family, you and your mom...”
“When?”
William was calm, more calm than Theodore had been expecting and more calm than he felt himself. Maybe he had been anticipating this, maybe he had even been worrying Theodore had lied in the first place. It was hard to tell. He was just... so calm.
“If we're lucky, tomorrow... if we're not, he already knows where you live”
“I thought you said he already knew?”
“Apparently he doesn't” Theodore shrugged and tried to be calm as well. No point in panicking more than the man who might get arrested. “I have a friend at the office, someone I feel I can trust at least. He told me that their main priority right now is to find out your location and bring both you and your mother in to the station. He says he will try and keep them away for as long as he can, but I don't think he can do it for much longer than tomorrow morning...”
“Thank you for coming here and warning us...” William sighed, his smile faint but still there. “This way my family has at least a slight chance of getting away... we might be able to even make it to my father's hide out, but I am not sure my brothers will be able to walk that long...”
“I will help you” Theodore quickly assured, his eyes landing momentarily on the sleeping boy before traveling back to William's face. There was so much love in those eyes, so much desperate hope that all he could do was look into them for seconds without being able to move from the spot. Those brown eyes were everything else but calm, he realized now as he looked into them, tiredness and fright meeting his own gaze. “I will, and I will start now... so... pack up your things, everything you can carry...”
“Right now..?”
“Yes” Theodore nodded and smiled a little, his hand reaching for William's as he stood up from the uncomfortable chair. “I will take you to my apartment, you will be safe there for the time being... Just make sure you can pack everything you need and wake your family. It is better the faster we can get going...”
The other man seemed confused now, but more awake. He grabbed Theodore's hand firmly and pulled himself up, smiling as well even though he seemed to be slightly unsure of whether this plan would work. Theodore assured him again not to worry, that it would all be fine but they had to hurry. William nodded, taking deep breaths to calm himself down slightly before speaking again.
“I can't begin to thank you enough...” he said but Theodore shook his head with a larger smile than before. They didn't have time for thanks right now. William seemed to understand and smiled. “...and I will start later perhaps?” he then looked around, lost at where to start. “I will go and wake my mother... can you look through those cabinets, see if there is any food we can bring along?”
“I will, you go and wake her” Theodore agreed.
And so it began. It took less than five minutes for the dark haired woman to join them, her eyes sharp and alert, lips smiling and strong hands working quickly. She didn't seem upset or nervous, but he was sure that she was. They had packed the kitchen in less than half an hour, waking the two boys and giving them something to eat included. Theodore had been polite to the woman, making sure to stay out of her way as she ran back and forth between her boys to pack everything they would need, including clothes and even the few misaddresses they had. If he would have been her, he would probably have wanted to hide it from his son's as well.
The room next to the kitchen, being the bedroom as he had expected, was the smallest bedroom Theodore had ever been in. There was a window, which had been covered up with a thick blanket and boards, not to let the cold air in and the warm air out, there was the smallest bed in which he suspected the entire family slept when their home became all too cold in the winter, and a small chest of drawers where he had gotten some clothes to pack for them.
The boys where very quiet, almost as if they had done this before, knowing exactly what to do in this kind of situation. The older holding the younger's hand tightly where they stood by the door, waiting for their broken family to finish packing their home into bundles of sheets, to make them easier to carry. Since they were only three, strong enough to take these large bundles, pots and pans would have to be left behind. Mrs Kaplan seemed worried about this, walking back and forth, as if trying to find a place for them anyway.
“Mother?” William asked softly, one hand on her shoulder which made her stop and look up at him with the same brown eyes he had. “We can't bring them...”
“But people will wonder... they will understand we have not left the city?” she protested and Theodore felt his stomach turn. He had not even thought much about that. He looked around and sighed, biting down on his lip for a moment before smiling and stepping over to the woman and her son.
“Don't worry” he smiled. “As soon as we have made sure everything and everyone is safe back at my apartment, I will head on back here and clean the place out somehow... I understand your concern, we will just have to make it. Is that okay with you?” As the woman nodded, thankfulness shining through her eyes, he smiled more. “Everyone set then?” The boys nodded, their mother too, and Theodore's eyes fell on William. He nodded firmly. The determination in his eyes was clear, but he was still hesitating. “They can do this” Theodore heard himself assure the other man and stepped over to him, a soft hand soon resting on the other's frail shoulder. “And so can you, William”
“I know...” the dark haired one replied, his voice weak and his eyes wandering to land on his mother and brother's who were moving towards the door and out through it. “...I just can't help feeling responsible for them, now that my father isn't here... And I cannot stand anything happening to any of them... what if something goes wrong? I...”
“William...” Theodore interrupted before the other's worries went out of hand. “Please, it will be alright as long as you trust that I know what I am doing. You are not the only one responsible for your family tonight, I am as well. I know you might not be able to feel trust towards me, since you hardly know me... but I came here tonight because all I want to do is help you and your family. Please trust me, just for tonight, and I will make sure all of you get to safety..?”
“I do trust you...” William hurried and looked almost ashamed, his bottom lip shaking in the way you would expect a child's lip to shake before the first tears fall. “I do, detective, I don't know how I will ever be able to thank you for all you have done and will do for my family. But I do not trust myself with this kind of responsibility...”
“William, think for a second, will you?” he smiled back and squeezed the other's shoulder gently. “You have done a wonderful job with your family already. I know that you did not grow up being the one to take care of your brother, but just look what a good job you have done with the youngest?” As he spoke, he threw a quick glance at the tiny boy who was smiling up at his mother. “He is such a sweet boy, and so is his older brother. You have done an amazing job, together with your parents, and that responsibility you have had for years now. You really should not question yourself, because you can accomplish so much, as long as you do not prevent yourself from believing that you can.”
William seemed to be without words and only nodded, his eyes glossy but it was hard to see if there had even been tears, considering the lighting was not very good. Theodore let go slowly of the other's shoulder, wondering whether it was alright for him to do that now without William collapsing in his own worry.
“And by the way...” he then said, as he felt certain the mood had gone up. “...I think, considering the circumstances... maybe you should start calling me Theodore?”
The brown eyes blinked quickly but William smiled and nodded again. “Yes, maybe I should”
“Maybe we should leave?” the woman suddenly called from the door, poking her head inside again and looking at them strangely. “I would advise it at least...”
“Yes of course” Theodore smiled and picked his bundle up quickly, immediately understanding that he must be carrying the heaviest one.
He took a few deep breaths and stepped out into the narrow hallway again, now with a third of a home straddled over his shoulder, followed by the other man who was still smiling he suspected. As soon as they were out on the street, Theodore took the lead and made sure the road was empty before leaving the Bowery the same was he had gotten there, closely followed by the boys, who were carrying bags with loose possessions like a couple of toys and books. Behind them, William and their mother walked carefully, making sure to stop in case they saw someone. This only happened once and when they all finally reached the building in which Theodore loved, he relaxed somewhat and smiled at the family, almost proudly.
“Here it is” he said, in the same low voice as before. The boys looked completely fatigued but smiled as well. “If you just walk quietly up the stairs, I will be there in a moment. I need to make sure the land lady dosen't hear you” The other's nodded and he quickly handed his key to William, who took the lead now, straight up the stairs. Theodore prayed silently that no one was up at this hour and was probably heard by God or at least one angel, because not as much as a soul opened their windows or doors to see what was going on.
“Thank you...” he whispered to himself and hurried up the stairs as well, with the bundle of things not at all feeling so heavy anymore. As soon as he entered the apartment, he was hit in the stomach by two boys running and hugging him hard and he thought they would knock him to the floor. He smiled and dropped leaned against the now closed door behind his back, putting the packed things down on the floor before hugging the kids back, the stress and worry draining away for a moment.
As the boys were called for by their mother, who was already fixing their temporary beds on the floor next to the stove, Theodore straightened up and scratched his neck. The apartment would be full now, for at least two or three nights. He would have a lot to cover up for with the landlady.
William was standing by the stove, eyes growing larger by the second as he looked around the apartment in wonder. “Do you really live here by yourself..?” he asked as Theodore came up to his side. “I mean, there is no one else here?”
“Just me” Theodore answered and smiled. Really, the apartment was nothing special. It wasn't even big. Maybe it was for someone like William, who had lived together with his family of five in one and a half room though. This apartment was narrow, but had both a kitchen, a larger room to eat and socialize in, plus a bedroom. “And now you” he then added and grinned as he met William's eyes. “Mrs Kaplan?”
The woman looked up and nodded. She had already spread their things in the corner and put the boys to bed. They would not sleep in hours it seemed, but at least they did as they were told and didn't talk. “Yes dear?”
“I thought, maybe you and your husband would want to sleep in my bed?” he suggested and immediately rejoiced at the change of expression on her face. She looked as if though she was going to cry with joy. “I will sleep elsewhere, so... make yourself comfortable and when he gets here, he can join you”
“Thank you” she sighed and smiled widely. “Thank you so much... I don't even know what to say?”
Theodore only smiled and shrugged. He knew the bed would do them good after what they had been through. He then met William's eyes as he turned to head for the door again, feeling warm when he saw the man was smiling just as widely as his mother. They both knew the couple needed this. Theodore felt happy that the other man seemed not to be the jealous type.
“You're leaving?” he asked as soon as Theodore reached the front door however and he stopped in his movements, noticing the worry in the dark haired one's voice.
“Yes” he answered and smiled back over his shoulder. “I will be back in a couple of hours...”
“I'll come with you”
They both fell quiet. Theodore had not been expecting company but he could not deny, even to himself, that he would feel a lot better if someone was actually there with him. He was about to ask, however, if William was completely sure he wanted to come with, but the other's mother had heard and gently reached up to stroke her son's dark hair.
“Be careful, both of you?” she asked, her voice soft and loving in a way only a parent's voice can be. “Make sure you get rid of the things we brought from back home, people will know they were important to us back then...”
“We will mother” William assured her and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. “Will you bring me with you, please Theodore?”
He gasped, unable to control it. Immediately he felt like turning away and cursing at himself, not even knowing why he had let the air out the way he had. But he didn't. Instead he just smiled and nodded, hoping that they had not noticed. His chest was still feeling weird, almost so light he did not even know if he was really breathing. Why..? What was it William had said that had made him feel this way?
Chapter: three of eight
Author: coooodes aka Billy
Word Count: 54,549 words
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: AU, violence, character death, antisemitism, homosexual insinuation
Pairings: Teddy/Billy
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the computer which I wrote this on.
masterpost
chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five chapter six chapter seven chapter eight
“What are you doing here Altman?” his godfather asked as soon as Theodore stepped in through his office door, his voice deep and annoyed, gaze following his every move. Theodore didn't answer immediately, instead he shut the door and turned the lock so that no one would be interrupting their conversation, before turning to face the older man.
“I needed to see you” he stated and seated himself without getting permission to do so. He could not have cared less about whether Anthony felt like throwing him out of the room or not, because he knew what he had to say was more important than if he would have to turn in his gun or not. “It is important, about the case...”
“I told you, you should not think about that anymore kid...” the dark haired man sighed as he leaned back in his chair, scratching his stubble with a rough fingertip. He sounded tired, but stern. Theodore felt his stomach clench hard. His father would never have let Anthony use that tone when speaking to him, he was sure.
“Look” he said after taking a deep breath and locked his eyes to the other's firmly. “I don't know what is going on here, I have been kept in the dark ever since I came here to work and to be quite honest, it is taking a toll on me, Anthony. I was almost killed the other day, if I had been any further into that alley I would have been blown to bits, then what would you have told my mother? I am not sure why you are doing this to me, whether you think am too weak to handle this job or...”
“Don't even say for one second that I am doubting you?” the man opposite him interrupted abruptly and Theodore felt his eyes widening in shock.
“Be quiet!” he spat, almost immediately, standing up from the chair with so much force it smashed to the floor behind him. “How can you expect me to think otherwise when all you do is keep the truth from me?! I am not a child anymore, Anthony, in case you hadn't noticed prior to this moment. I am twenty five years old, which in fact is only slightly younger than my father was when my mother gave birth to me. So you listen to me, now, not tomorrow. Now. Because if I say I have something important I need to talk to you about, I expect you to sit quietly on your ass and listen to every Goddamn word I have to say to you.”
The other one just sat there, eyes wide and body tense. Theodore was breathing heavily, his head feeling warm enough for his rage to be visible on his cheeks. He was leaning his body weight on his palms against the desk, feeling them sweat more than they normally did. The most uncomfortable feeling in the world.
“Thank you” he continued when the other finally nodded as if telling him his conditions would be met. “As I was saying... I have no idea whether you have kept things from me because you think me weak, because you are scared I will get hurt or... if it is because of the fact that you do not trust me with the information you are possessing. What I do know, is that there is a lot that you have never told me, a lot that I should have known but you have always kept it so far away from me that I hardly knew the information excised. You see, whenever I get close enough... you push me away. And I cannot stand here and tolerate that anymore...”
“For all it's worth...” the other said, looking away as if he had problems even meeting Theodore's eyes at the moment. It was embarrassing for him, this. “...I do worry about you, because I know firsthand what happened to your father, and I was there when it devastated your mother. I could not see the same thing happen to you...”
Theodore decided to comment on that later. He did not have the strength left in his voice to scream again. But he would remember this... even though Anthony might not even have realized what it was that he had just said. Instead he drew a deep breath again and continued, as if his godfather hadn't even spoken in between.
“I need to tell you something now, which is very important...” He was seating himself again as he spoke, feeling shaky to the knees from standing and screaming from the soles of his shoes. “The thing is, I have no idea if you know it or not, so before I tell you what it is I want you to promise me something...”
“Anything.”
“I have received my information from the man who was brought here as a suspect after my accident” Theodore nodded and watched Anthony's face closely for any reaction. He saw none. If that meant the man was not surprised or that he could just hide reactions like that very well from showing in his face, Theodore wasn't sure. “And his condition for talking to me about all this, because of the safety of his family, was that in exchange for this information, the police will not come knocking on his door again.”
“Why did you promise this?” The question was asked simply and without any kind of judging tone in his voice.
“Because I wanted the information and because I know what he is going through, at least I think I do. I don't want him to have his family killed because someone else has the wrong idea of them” he admitted plainly. “If the police comes and knocks on their door once a month, they will be in serious danger...”
“You did it out of pity?”
His rage bubbled up immediately but Theodore swallowed it while clenching his jaw for a second. It wasn't worth it. “No” he then answered with a strained smile. “Compassion Anthony...”
“Ah... So you are asking me to promise I will not send more people looking for his family?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, that is exactly what I am doing” he nodded. It wasn't harder than that. Only problem now was that if Anthony said he could not do that, it meant the man still knew William had important information he could tell the police. He could still go after the Kaplan family and interrogate them all, if he did not agree to the terms which Theodore had promised William he would... “Will you?”
“...I will”
Theodore relaxed slightly, trying to hide the fact that he was. “Good...” he then continued. He then proceeded to tell his boss what his and William's conversation had been about, without giving away too much of the personal things. The older man sat there, listening in silence, eyes blinking slowly, face not giving anything away. At least not until Theodore came to the part with the gangs hide out, as he did so, Anthony straightened up in his chair.
“You're saying that this boy, this... young man, knows for sure that this is where the Eastman's are?” he asked, as soon as Theodore had paused to take a breather. There was something glowing in his eyes, eagerness maybe? It was hard to tell. But Theodore felt slightly threatened by it, that glimpse of authority, demanding answers. “How can he know? He is only a man from the slums...”
“That is exactly why he knows. He lives in the slums, right in the middle of it all, he hears everything going on in their neighborhood, sees what happens on the streets. I would not be surprised if we found even more information, hiding behind closed doors of people who are too scared to come forth... but this one did, and we should be thankful for that”
“And how will we know he is not telling us a lie? That if I was to send my men to this location, they would not be met by armed forces, prepared to fire?”
“I...” Theodore had not at all thought about it. He didn't even know what to say. He had spoken to William face to face, and wouldn't that have revealed his true intentions if that was what they were? The man had even been crying. No. He had not been lying. He couldn't have been. No one could be that good at hiding the truth, not when crying like that. And he had the kids too, he would not have let Theodore see them if they had something to do with all this... Right? “I don't believe he lied. It might be hard for you to understand, but I know what I felt when I was with him... and it was not... I mean, he didn't at all seem like someone who would lie like that...”
“But you do not know him, do you? How can you know for sure?”
“If you've already decided on not trusting my judgment on this then just say so. I will not keep defending this cause if you will not even try to believe me”
“I have not decided on anything, I am merely trying to shine a light on the fact that you went to speak to a known criminal about things you hardly know anything about, without even knowing if he could be trusted or if he would have killed you instantly upon arriving... is that evil of me?”
“A known criminal?” Theodore asked without even caring to answer the older one's question. “I thought you said before that you had no clue who he was, how can he suddenly be a known criminal to you?”
“He has done some things, things involving his father, that we did not know about until recently...”
“Recently meaning yesterday when you conveniently forgot to tell me about it, yes?”
“Do not use that tone Theodore” Anthony sighed and stood up, turning away to look out the window. He seemed to be less comfortable around him than he usually was. Maybe that was a good thing, could mean Theodore had been able to hit a nerve somewhere. “I am only trying to explain things to you... but as you said, if you have already decided not to trust my judgment, it would be better for me to not tell you a thing”
Do not use my own words against me... he thought but remained silent. He knew this was just something his godfather said for him to feel guilty about judging him. Of course he did not, he was allowed to judge the man who seemed to have all the answers and yet did nothing but lie about the truth.
“The man you are talking about, is dangerous for all we know...” Anthony continued when he realized Theodore was not going to speak. “As you said, my men even beat him to get him to talk and all we could get out of him was some curses and angry looks. He even spat Barton in the face...”
“And this means that he is dangerous? Has it occurred to you that maybe he was trying to protect his family?”
“And why would he protect his family by withholding information from us, the police, who only try to help?” the man grinned as he looked back to Theodore over his shoulder. “There seems to be a glitch in his explanation and I would love to talk to him myself about all this”
“But you won't” he replied firmly and got up from his seat, feeling so disappointed with this entire meeting that he wished he had not even come here in the first place. The man did not even seem happy that they knew now where the Eastman gang were hiding. “Because you promised me, and therefore you also promised him...”
“Have I ever told you, how very much like your father you are?”
The question took Theodore by surprise and he just stood there for seconds, staring at the other man's face, now that he had turned back towards him. Why would he say something like that now? After all these years when he had never even said a word...
“No, you haven't”
“Well, you are” the man nodded and shrugged before turning back towards the window. “Thank you for the information, it has been very enlightening... however, if I remember correctly, you have been relieved of your duties and should not even be here. I won't take your gun, because you keep putting yourself in danger, but if you come back here anytime soon, I can promise you I will. Is that understood?”
“Yes, sir”
“Good. Now, leave me alone. I have a lot of work to do before I can tell the others what you have just told me...”
Theodore only nodded. He was feeling empty now. The rage had slipped right off him without him even realizing it had happened. He walked towards the door, his feet heavy against the cold floor and he was just about to turn the knob when he was stopped by the other one's words again.
“By the way” he said, a smile on his face. You could tell from the sound of his voice. “Your mother told me she wishes to see you soon”
“Why would she tell you that, and not me?”
“I went to visit her the other day” Anthony admitted and turned towards him again, but Theodore felt no need to face him. It was better to show the rage in your face if you were turned towards a door than your boss. “She said you have not paid her a visit in weeks and wonders if she can come and visit you soon?”
“I haven't had time. But if she wishes to see me, why don't you tell her to come over, instead of giving you a message for me...”
“Are you angry with her?”
“Why would you think that, Anthony?”
“You sound upset?”
Now he turned anyway, his cheeks already blooming with annoyed blush. “It is not my mother I am angry with, Anthony. Frankly, I am not even angry anymore, I am disappointed. I though you of all people would understand what I came here to tell you. Instead all I get is excuses, lies and pity for my mother's sake...”
“I am afraid I don't quite follow..?”
“You said you worry about something happening to me, because you don't want to see my mother hurt again” he answered, opening the door. “I would say, I am quite surprised you were more concerned about my mother's feelings than the fact that I might have died the other day. But you be sure to tell her I love her, in case you cause my death next time? I can't imagine what she would say or do, but at least I will be out of your way and you won't have to worry about her losing anyone else anymore.”
He stepped out and closed the door behind him. He knew he had been acting like a child, but after all, he had never done so before, not even when he had been one. His mother had been a sad widow, with not much strength left in her to remarry after his father's passing. He had done everything in his power to support her and make her smile, he loved her with all his heart. But to realize that her feelings were more important to the only father figure he had ever truly known, than his own life... it made him feel letdown. Insignificant.
It took him less than ten minutes after that, to walk into the small shop on the other side of the road and purchase some food for later that evening and come back out again. The air was thicker than it usually was around these parts of the city and he wished momentarily that he had brought a scarf with him so that he could have covered his mouth. The black smoke always made him cough more than what he felt comfortable with.
“Detective!”
He spun around on the spot and forced himself to smile as he was met by the blue gaze of Steven Rogers, the man standing only a few yards away, waving at him. At first, he wondered what this could be about, whether he was supposed to walk over to his coworker and friend, but as he saw the worried wrinkle on the older one's face, he was even more clueless on how to act. Lucky enough for him, within seconds, the blonde man was by his side and had grabbed him by the arm, already walking down the road with him.
“I have to talk to you...” His voice was rushed and his cheeks flushed. Was he worrying about something? Apparently so. The man was looking behind them as they rounded a corner, as if looking to see so that they were not followed.
“What is it Rogers?” Theodore asked, trying to whisper so that he would not alarm the man further, who seemed a lot more upset than he had ever seen him before. “Did something happen..?”
“I...” the other one started but bit his lips, eyes glossy with worry. “I shouldn't tell you... I know I shouldn't...”
“Please...” Theodore tried, his fingers gripping both Steven's shoulders gently as he looked up into those bright eyes. “I know it must be difficult, but I cannot be held in the dark any longer, Rogers. I have been kept in the dark all my life... please, just this once, can you tell me what is going on?”
The words seemed to pain the blonde man even more, because he almost whimpered and bit down so hard on his bottom lip there was blood to be seen. Theodore took his eyes off of them and let them stay at his friend's eyes instead, begging with every fiber of his body that this man could be trusted to tell him the truth. He wished so hard for it that he could have promised him anything in exchange for only one little piece of the truth.
“I can't, I...”
“Steven...” he interrupted immediately and shook his head. “Don't do this. You came here for a reason and that reason must still exist. If there is something you think I should know, please, tell me? You are my friend and I trust you. Believe me, I will never tell anyone you have spoken to me, if that is what you are afraid of? As long as you promise to do the same, and not tell anyone I was here to listen to your words... are we agreed?”
“Yes” the other one nodded and seemed to be taking a deep breath, his eyes flickering to the ground momentarily before he eventually gathered his courage and spoke up. “I heard a part of your conversation...” he admitted and the blush was once more visible on his cheeks. “I could not shut it out, because your voice was loud and I guess I have good hearing. I heard what the chief promised you, what he promised to that man they brought in the other day... But as you left, he immediately informed the rest of us that we are going to bring him in... him and his mother, for questioning about their involvement in the Eastman situation... He's ordered us... them, to find out where they live now and take them in, as soon as possible...”
“He wouldn't...?” Theodore started, his heart beating franticly against his chest, but he knew Steven was not lying about this. He could see the panic in his eyes, hear the worry in his voice. Anthony had deliberately lied again, just like all the other times when he had promised. “I... how much time..?” He eventually managed to ask, afraid of the answer but knowing that he had to act as soon as possible if he was going to be able to help William's family at all.
“I have taken over the responsibility of finding their location...” the other answered quickly, a slight smile spreading over his face. “That doesn't mean you have all the time in the world however, I can't give you that. If I took too long, someone would get to do it instead. But I might be able to assure you the night... if I do not have the address until morning, he has to go home and sleep through the night before getting to it in the morning. And you will have the dark hours to do... whatever you need to do”
“Would you really do that..?” Theodore managed to ask, his body feeling faintly weak all of a sudden. Only one night? What would he do? How would he be able to help? In what manner..? He had promised not to come knocking on their door... he would have to now anyway, wouldn't he? “I mean, if the chief finds out you have been helping me, them... you might lose your job?”
“I believe there are more important things sometimes, than keeping ones job when people are in danger...” His voice was calm and steady, his words making more sense than any words Theodore had ever heard before. “I was running an errand earlier today, downtown... I saw you talking to him in the park...” He paused and looked away, apparently slightly ashamed he had even been looking. “...I saw the kids, the smile on his face when they left, the way the little one clasped his hand when they crossed the street and the soft care shining through his eyes as they passed me by... that is something worth saving, not my job. I believe the chief might need to look slightly further beyond what he knows, start seeing what is truly important, right in front of him...” There was something sad in his voice, something Theodore could not even read from the older man's face. But there was a smile there too, when Steven looked back up to meet his eyes again. “If I know they will be safe, I will give you as much time as I possibly can to help them...”
“I promise I will do what I can to get them to safety as well” he nodded back, hands pressing gently on the other's shoulders before letting go entirely again. “Thank you Steven, you are a good friend”
“Don't thank me just yet...” the older one chuckled nervously and backed away a couple of steps. “I might screw up, like I always do...”
“You won't”
“If there is anything else, please let me know?”
Theodore nodded but had no more time to speak, because Steven was already turning, heading back for the office with his hands shoved down into his pockets. Theodore himself just stood there for a while, watching the man disappear around the corner. He was a good man, truly a good friend. It was a sad thing he had not realized this sooner in life... He was sure Steven had been feeling just as lonely as he had himself. After all, he had never even married.
...
It took him some time to get back to his apartment building, since he felt disoriented and took a wrong turn twice. When he was finally behind closed doors, he sank down on his bed and sighed, face buried in his palms as he desperately tried to come up with a solution to this major problem he was having. It was hard to at all understand how he could possibly have not seen this coming for him. Of course he should not have promised William such a naïve thing but... what should he have done instead? Just kept quiet about it, just... ignored the fact that he had wanted the information? His head hurt and his body felt like it was falling apart, still he got up only moments later and got to work, knowing that there was no turning back from this. He had to see this one through now. He owed William and the boys that.
Half past one, in the middle of the night, he was heading down the dark street, his coat firmly wrapped around his body and a scarf around his neck. He had taken his own advice this time and brought one, just in case he would almost die of cold or the smoke rising from thousands of chimneys. He had already walked for twenty minutes, he was sure, trying not to attract any attention to himself from the few people still outside around this late hour. There was a crisp sense to the air this night, colder than earlier. Maybe there would even be snow.
The Bowery was dark though everything else but quiet. He lowered his head and made sure his bowler covered his fair hair as much as possible. It was better that way. He wouldn't want anyone here remembering there had been someone like him walking the streets on the night of the disappearance of the Kaplan family. He found the front door, more with the help of luck than a sense of direction and almost ran the stairs to the second floor. Door 23 was not hard to find after that. It was gathering the courage to knock that was the big issue. Even though he knew there was not much time, it took him more than ten minutes before he eventually put his knuckles to the wood, palms sweaty and heart beating quicker and quicker by every second passing. All it took was for one neighbor to open the door and see him, and his plan would be for nothing...
The door in front of him squeaked as it was opened, slowly, and Theodore took a quick step back, in case someone would suddenly push it open hard to fend him off. To his relief, the one opening the door was William, all dressed as if it was in the middle of the day, mild surprise shining through his eyes.
“Altman..?” he said after a couple of seconds. “Why are you here..? I thought...”
“Yeah, listen...” Theodore interrupted and looked around, feeling almost as jumpy as Steven had looked down on the street some hours ago. “Can I come inside? I don't think it is a good idea if someone sees me out here...”
The dark haired man seemed surprised at the question, but still eager to find it what was going on and opened the door more because of this reason. He locked it firmly behind Theodore's back and then showed him into a small kitchen where a calm fire was lit in the old stove. The youngest brother was sleeping in a convertible kitchen bench next to the warmth of it. The sofa looked not to have been meant for sleeping in, but they had obviously removed the hard surface made for sitting on and stuffed the empty space inside with something soft. He looked fairly comfortable in there, at least for the moment. It was cold though, in the rest of the room and Theodore looked around for any other source of light than the stove and some candles on top of it, finding nothing. He noticed a door however, half open, leading into another room where he suspected the rest of the family slept...
When he looked back at William, he realized the man had been watching him closely for the past minute without a word. Now he looked away, towards the sleeping boy and smiled a bit. “I guess you don't have much experience with living under these conditions, do you?”
“I don't” Theodore admitted and scratched his neck a bit, looking at the boy as well. “I am sorry you've had to live like this... no human being should have to go through something like this...”
“Thank you, but we're handling it detective” the man smiled and pulled out an old chair from the side of the table. “Sit, and do tell me why you are here..?”
Theodore did as he was told and tried not to notice the smell coming from the wood of the wall next to him. Mold. He drew a deep breath and looked back those wondering eyes, the soft relaxation in the other's face. He thought it would all be ok now, that it was all over... how was it that Theodore always had to be the bearer of bad news?
“I talked to my godfather...” he then started and kept his eyes fixed to the others as he spoke. “He promised me that he would not come after you or send anyone here to talk to you again...”
“But?”
“He lied” The words felt harsh and wrong as he spoke, his rage and disappointment burning in his eyes and chest already. “He lied to me straight in the face... he is coming here, for your family, you and your mom...”
“When?”
William was calm, more calm than Theodore had been expecting and more calm than he felt himself. Maybe he had been anticipating this, maybe he had even been worrying Theodore had lied in the first place. It was hard to tell. He was just... so calm.
“If we're lucky, tomorrow... if we're not, he already knows where you live”
“I thought you said he already knew?”
“Apparently he doesn't” Theodore shrugged and tried to be calm as well. No point in panicking more than the man who might get arrested. “I have a friend at the office, someone I feel I can trust at least. He told me that their main priority right now is to find out your location and bring both you and your mother in to the station. He says he will try and keep them away for as long as he can, but I don't think he can do it for much longer than tomorrow morning...”
“Thank you for coming here and warning us...” William sighed, his smile faint but still there. “This way my family has at least a slight chance of getting away... we might be able to even make it to my father's hide out, but I am not sure my brothers will be able to walk that long...”
“I will help you” Theodore quickly assured, his eyes landing momentarily on the sleeping boy before traveling back to William's face. There was so much love in those eyes, so much desperate hope that all he could do was look into them for seconds without being able to move from the spot. Those brown eyes were everything else but calm, he realized now as he looked into them, tiredness and fright meeting his own gaze. “I will, and I will start now... so... pack up your things, everything you can carry...”
“Right now..?”
“Yes” Theodore nodded and smiled a little, his hand reaching for William's as he stood up from the uncomfortable chair. “I will take you to my apartment, you will be safe there for the time being... Just make sure you can pack everything you need and wake your family. It is better the faster we can get going...”
The other man seemed confused now, but more awake. He grabbed Theodore's hand firmly and pulled himself up, smiling as well even though he seemed to be slightly unsure of whether this plan would work. Theodore assured him again not to worry, that it would all be fine but they had to hurry. William nodded, taking deep breaths to calm himself down slightly before speaking again.
“I can't begin to thank you enough...” he said but Theodore shook his head with a larger smile than before. They didn't have time for thanks right now. William seemed to understand and smiled. “...and I will start later perhaps?” he then looked around, lost at where to start. “I will go and wake my mother... can you look through those cabinets, see if there is any food we can bring along?”
“I will, you go and wake her” Theodore agreed.
And so it began. It took less than five minutes for the dark haired woman to join them, her eyes sharp and alert, lips smiling and strong hands working quickly. She didn't seem upset or nervous, but he was sure that she was. They had packed the kitchen in less than half an hour, waking the two boys and giving them something to eat included. Theodore had been polite to the woman, making sure to stay out of her way as she ran back and forth between her boys to pack everything they would need, including clothes and even the few misaddresses they had. If he would have been her, he would probably have wanted to hide it from his son's as well.
The room next to the kitchen, being the bedroom as he had expected, was the smallest bedroom Theodore had ever been in. There was a window, which had been covered up with a thick blanket and boards, not to let the cold air in and the warm air out, there was the smallest bed in which he suspected the entire family slept when their home became all too cold in the winter, and a small chest of drawers where he had gotten some clothes to pack for them.
The boys where very quiet, almost as if they had done this before, knowing exactly what to do in this kind of situation. The older holding the younger's hand tightly where they stood by the door, waiting for their broken family to finish packing their home into bundles of sheets, to make them easier to carry. Since they were only three, strong enough to take these large bundles, pots and pans would have to be left behind. Mrs Kaplan seemed worried about this, walking back and forth, as if trying to find a place for them anyway.
“Mother?” William asked softly, one hand on her shoulder which made her stop and look up at him with the same brown eyes he had. “We can't bring them...”
“But people will wonder... they will understand we have not left the city?” she protested and Theodore felt his stomach turn. He had not even thought much about that. He looked around and sighed, biting down on his lip for a moment before smiling and stepping over to the woman and her son.
“Don't worry” he smiled. “As soon as we have made sure everything and everyone is safe back at my apartment, I will head on back here and clean the place out somehow... I understand your concern, we will just have to make it. Is that okay with you?” As the woman nodded, thankfulness shining through her eyes, he smiled more. “Everyone set then?” The boys nodded, their mother too, and Theodore's eyes fell on William. He nodded firmly. The determination in his eyes was clear, but he was still hesitating. “They can do this” Theodore heard himself assure the other man and stepped over to him, a soft hand soon resting on the other's frail shoulder. “And so can you, William”
“I know...” the dark haired one replied, his voice weak and his eyes wandering to land on his mother and brother's who were moving towards the door and out through it. “...I just can't help feeling responsible for them, now that my father isn't here... And I cannot stand anything happening to any of them... what if something goes wrong? I...”
“William...” Theodore interrupted before the other's worries went out of hand. “Please, it will be alright as long as you trust that I know what I am doing. You are not the only one responsible for your family tonight, I am as well. I know you might not be able to feel trust towards me, since you hardly know me... but I came here tonight because all I want to do is help you and your family. Please trust me, just for tonight, and I will make sure all of you get to safety..?”
“I do trust you...” William hurried and looked almost ashamed, his bottom lip shaking in the way you would expect a child's lip to shake before the first tears fall. “I do, detective, I don't know how I will ever be able to thank you for all you have done and will do for my family. But I do not trust myself with this kind of responsibility...”
“William, think for a second, will you?” he smiled back and squeezed the other's shoulder gently. “You have done a wonderful job with your family already. I know that you did not grow up being the one to take care of your brother, but just look what a good job you have done with the youngest?” As he spoke, he threw a quick glance at the tiny boy who was smiling up at his mother. “He is such a sweet boy, and so is his older brother. You have done an amazing job, together with your parents, and that responsibility you have had for years now. You really should not question yourself, because you can accomplish so much, as long as you do not prevent yourself from believing that you can.”
William seemed to be without words and only nodded, his eyes glossy but it was hard to see if there had even been tears, considering the lighting was not very good. Theodore let go slowly of the other's shoulder, wondering whether it was alright for him to do that now without William collapsing in his own worry.
“And by the way...” he then said, as he felt certain the mood had gone up. “...I think, considering the circumstances... maybe you should start calling me Theodore?”
The brown eyes blinked quickly but William smiled and nodded again. “Yes, maybe I should”
“Maybe we should leave?” the woman suddenly called from the door, poking her head inside again and looking at them strangely. “I would advise it at least...”
“Yes of course” Theodore smiled and picked his bundle up quickly, immediately understanding that he must be carrying the heaviest one.
He took a few deep breaths and stepped out into the narrow hallway again, now with a third of a home straddled over his shoulder, followed by the other man who was still smiling he suspected. As soon as they were out on the street, Theodore took the lead and made sure the road was empty before leaving the Bowery the same was he had gotten there, closely followed by the boys, who were carrying bags with loose possessions like a couple of toys and books. Behind them, William and their mother walked carefully, making sure to stop in case they saw someone. This only happened once and when they all finally reached the building in which Theodore loved, he relaxed somewhat and smiled at the family, almost proudly.
“Here it is” he said, in the same low voice as before. The boys looked completely fatigued but smiled as well. “If you just walk quietly up the stairs, I will be there in a moment. I need to make sure the land lady dosen't hear you” The other's nodded and he quickly handed his key to William, who took the lead now, straight up the stairs. Theodore prayed silently that no one was up at this hour and was probably heard by God or at least one angel, because not as much as a soul opened their windows or doors to see what was going on.
“Thank you...” he whispered to himself and hurried up the stairs as well, with the bundle of things not at all feeling so heavy anymore. As soon as he entered the apartment, he was hit in the stomach by two boys running and hugging him hard and he thought they would knock him to the floor. He smiled and dropped leaned against the now closed door behind his back, putting the packed things down on the floor before hugging the kids back, the stress and worry draining away for a moment.
As the boys were called for by their mother, who was already fixing their temporary beds on the floor next to the stove, Theodore straightened up and scratched his neck. The apartment would be full now, for at least two or three nights. He would have a lot to cover up for with the landlady.
William was standing by the stove, eyes growing larger by the second as he looked around the apartment in wonder. “Do you really live here by yourself..?” he asked as Theodore came up to his side. “I mean, there is no one else here?”
“Just me” Theodore answered and smiled. Really, the apartment was nothing special. It wasn't even big. Maybe it was for someone like William, who had lived together with his family of five in one and a half room though. This apartment was narrow, but had both a kitchen, a larger room to eat and socialize in, plus a bedroom. “And now you” he then added and grinned as he met William's eyes. “Mrs Kaplan?”
The woman looked up and nodded. She had already spread their things in the corner and put the boys to bed. They would not sleep in hours it seemed, but at least they did as they were told and didn't talk. “Yes dear?”
“I thought, maybe you and your husband would want to sleep in my bed?” he suggested and immediately rejoiced at the change of expression on her face. She looked as if though she was going to cry with joy. “I will sleep elsewhere, so... make yourself comfortable and when he gets here, he can join you”
“Thank you” she sighed and smiled widely. “Thank you so much... I don't even know what to say?”
Theodore only smiled and shrugged. He knew the bed would do them good after what they had been through. He then met William's eyes as he turned to head for the door again, feeling warm when he saw the man was smiling just as widely as his mother. They both knew the couple needed this. Theodore felt happy that the other man seemed not to be the jealous type.
“You're leaving?” he asked as soon as Theodore reached the front door however and he stopped in his movements, noticing the worry in the dark haired one's voice.
“Yes” he answered and smiled back over his shoulder. “I will be back in a couple of hours...”
“I'll come with you”
They both fell quiet. Theodore had not been expecting company but he could not deny, even to himself, that he would feel a lot better if someone was actually there with him. He was about to ask, however, if William was completely sure he wanted to come with, but the other's mother had heard and gently reached up to stroke her son's dark hair.
“Be careful, both of you?” she asked, her voice soft and loving in a way only a parent's voice can be. “Make sure you get rid of the things we brought from back home, people will know they were important to us back then...”
“We will mother” William assured her and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. “Will you bring me with you, please Theodore?”
He gasped, unable to control it. Immediately he felt like turning away and cursing at himself, not even knowing why he had let the air out the way he had. But he didn't. Instead he just smiled and nodded, hoping that they had not noticed. His chest was still feeling weird, almost so light he did not even know if he was really breathing. Why..? What was it William had said that had made him feel this way?