(no subject)
Title: I fought the law...
Chapter: two of eight
Author: coooodes aka Billy
Word Count: 54,549 words
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: AU, violence, character death, antisemitism, homosexual insinuation
Pairings: Teddy/Billy
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the computer which I wrote this on.
masterpost
chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five chapter six chapter seven chapter eight
It took him more than half an hour before he found a streetcar that would take him to the station. His head was hurting again, this time worse than before. He was worried and confused, thinking that the man had probably been lying to him. The police force was not supposed to abuse people as they had that man. It could not be true but he had to ask. He had to know. The trolley was slow and crowded, his bowler felt heavy on his head and he constantly felt himself drowsing away into the world of blissful sleep. When he was finally there, his face felt warm and he could barely keep his eyes open when stepping out onto the snowy street.
Heads were lifted and whispers broke out as he passed the first room. These people he didn't quite know, but they certainly knew about him it seemed. Steven came hurrying for him as he stepped into the larger office, looking very worried. Theodore didn't even bother to wonder why. He just wanted to get this over with so that he could go home and sleep.
“What are you doing here today Altman?” the older man asked and he felt his lips crack as he answered. That was never a pleasant feeling.
“I need to talk to the chief... it is very important. Can you tell him for me, Rogers?”
“Certainly” he nodded, his blue eyes showing his worry even though he was still smiling. “Would you want me to make you something while you wait?”
“No thank you” he declined and seated himself on the bench outside the chief's office. “I will be going immediately afterwards. Would not want you to go through a lot of trouble making me something I still won’t finish...”
“I will tell him right away then” Steven nodded and was gone.
Only minutes later, the door to the office opened and he was invited inside. It was warm and comfortable in there, but something seemed different form the other times he had been there. He did not feel as safe as he always did... maybe because he was doubting the credibility of the man in front of him? Maybe because he had realized that this man was nothing like his father had been. He would never have let something like this happen. If it even was true. But it couldn't be, right?
“Theodore” the chief said and stood up as he entered. He always used to call him by his first name when one of them was off duty, but this time it did not make Theodore smile as he usually did. He seated himself in front of the desk with a sigh and met the other's light brown eyes firmly.
“Anthony” he started, feeling annoyed as the other one grinned, failing to see the seriousness of the situation. Not that he had any idea what Theodore was there to tell him, but he should have caught the serious tone in his voice at least. This man had a problem with being serious it seemed. “I happened to run into our suspect today...” at this, Anthony's eyes narrowed and his grin faded. The change was so dramatic it almost looked silly. “...he was showing signs of bruises, and he tells me he was beaten here, is that correct?”
“Beaten? Here?”
The man was buying time by repeating the question. He was stalling. Theodore had seen it before, but never in this man. Was he thinking of what to say? Of how to best cover the whole thing up maybe..?
“Yes, here” he answered instead of pointing out to the man that he could see through him quite nicely. “I can understand that sometimes, certain means of persuasion is required to get information out of known criminals” he then continued quickly and felt his voice shake as he started understanding maybe what he had been told was nothing but correct after all. “But to torture a man who has never before been known by the police and who has not done anyone any harm... only to get him to give us information that we are not even sure he even possesses? I think this is very wrong, and if it is true, I would like to talk to you about this and make sure it does not happen again.”
There was silence for longer than what he felt comfortable with, but before he could speak again, Anthony finally answered to his accusations. “He was not speaking, and I told my men they had the right to do what was necessary to get the information we needed out of him”
The answer made him sick to his stomach but he hindered himself from showing this anywhere, not by facial expression or in the tone of his voice. “And yet, you got nothing, isn't that correct? Did it ever occur to you that he might not have had any idea what on earth you wanted to know from him?”
“It did” Anthony sighed and got up from his chair to be able to go through some papers, turning his back towards Theodore. Deliberately hiding his face. “But did it ever occur to you that he is from the slums, with both his parents involved in serious crime, born Jewish and his father on the run for murder?” He turned back again, looking almost victorious. “I thought it had not. Well, I am sure your little friend forgot to mention this to you, but as it turns out, this is the truth. The man can be innocent for all I know, and the fact that he is a Jew has almost nothing to do with him in this case... in fact, even though you might think this of me; I do not have any kind of personal problems with the fact that Jews seem to be all over this town... after all, we are all immigrants. The thing that bothers me, is that when we take them in for questioning, they always keep so bloody quiet. Just like he did, and I ask myself; if he did not know anything, why did he not just tell us so? We would have let him go? No, he has to sit there quietly, protecting everyone he knows because according to them, we are the bad ones.”
“If we keep treating them like rats, sooner or later, we will be” Theodore objected and stood up himself. His heart was banging painfully against his chest now, it always did when he was angry enough to shout at a man twice his age and strength. “I don't care what your personal opinion is, Sir, I really do not. But these people hate us because of what we do to them and their loved ones when they are not guilty of anything, not because of what we do to a man or woman who has done wrong. I know in my heart that they feel the same way we do about people who break the law... and of course I am not talking about stealing food now, because some people really have to do this to survive... I am talking about real crime here, Sir; murder, ravishment, assault and thievery. If we keep treating this growing society like we treat pest and vermin, that is what will grow out of it. People need us to keep the peace, so treat the people like human beings and then you can expect their cooperation.”
“It is not that easy Theodore” the older man tried softly. “And you know this from personal experience...”
“I do” he nodded back and let his eyes catch the other's gaze. “But what he told me about his life made me realize that if we keep treating this as a war, they will not give in until they have won it or taken half of us down with them in their fall... Before my time here, there were riots worse than the police force had ever imagined. I remember them because I heard my father talk about them at night with my mother. She was afraid to even sleep when he was at work, afraid he would not come back to her. He was lost in this war, Anthony, and I pray that he will be the last...”
“You are too worried about this” the dark haired one sighed, but Theodore had noticed him flinch at the mentioning of his father's death. “There will be no more riots and no more casualties. Maybe you are right about us being too harsh towards people that are less fortunate than we would care to admit, but that does not mean that they are allowed to commit crimes and we should turn the other cheek. They, like everyone else, need to see that we will not go lightly on people who break the law...”
“But this one has done nothing wrong!”
“How do you know this for sure, Theodore? You are, truly, very bright and I can assure you, you have made both your parents proud by joining the force. But you are only twenty-five years of age... I would advise you to leave the more difficult evaluation work to the more experienced detectives here, while you go home and rest. You have been through a lot these past few days. It is time that I see the seriousness in your injuries and send you home. You are not fit for duty...”
“You cannot do that..?” Theodore tried but the man's face had grown stiff, without emotion. “Sir, I... I am fit for work, you know I am? I did not mean to get upset, I just feel that there has been a mistake here and I want to correct it...”
“Go home, Altman, before I take your firearm as well”
And that was that. There was nothing more he could do. The man had turned his back again, already lightening his pipe. Theodore just stood there, his breath still rapid and his lungs aching. What about the things he had been wanting to say? For instance, that the man they had just had a fight over was going to see him the day after and tell him everything they wanted to know? Maybe he should bring it up now, before this got any worse... on the other hand, why should he help this man when all he seemed to care for was that he kept people behind bars and could do whatever he wanted? It was better to just go and see the black haired man alone, and if the information he got was good enough, maybe he would come back to the office and have Anthony Stark beg on his bare knees for the answers he then would possess. The thought was appealing and he decided to go through with his plan, leaving the office silently, without another word.
...
It was cold, but not cold enough for him not to smell the stench from thousands of chimneys spewing black smoke above the rooftops. He closed his black coat harder around his chest, happy he took this one and not his uniform. It would have been too prominent, he did not want to look like a police man today, plus it was much less padded than this one and he suspected he would be outside quite a lot this afternoon.
Since the black haired man from the slums had not set a time for their meeting, Theodore assumed that any time during the day would be good and had decided he would take it after lunch. That way, it would not be so utterly cold and he would have some time to collect his thoughts and decide upon what he was even going to say to the man. When walking the distance from his building to the streetcar, that would take him straight to the park, he had decided that at least he should not tell the man that he was off duty for the moment. It would spark too many questions and frankly, he did not feel the need to hang around the slums all day long.
Upon stepping off the slowly moving vehicle, he threw a quick glance backwards to see if he was being followed. Why, he was unsure, but it felt better to know that he held track of who came and who went behind his back. With a deep breath he then steered his steps towards the white park, hands buried deeply the pockets of his coat and his bowler resting firmly on his head. It was better to just do this and get it all over with. He was nervous, and a bit frightened that maybe the other man would see it.
The park was crowded, even being in the middle of winter and the middle of the day. He was not surprised, not really, seeing as there were mostly people living in the slums here, most had no other jobs than selling things on the streets. He was even happier now, than before, that he had not taken his uniform. This way, he could look like any man taking a stroll through the park. The only thing that might make him less of one in the crowd was the fact that his hair was clean and his clothes stainless. No one seemed to really care, however, and since his blonde hair was neatly tucked in underneath his bowler, he felt no need to worry about his ethnicity.
After a while, cruising around the park with no luck finding the mystery man he was having an appointment with, he was almost about to give up. Maybe he should have been there earlier, but no matter the case, if the man was not here anymore, it would be pointless to try to find him. After all, he had promised not to come banging on their door again and the man had said they would be gone anyway. He sighed and was just about to turn and head back the same way he had gotten there when he saw a familiar boy running his way with a smug grin on his face and a wooden sword in his hand. At first, Theodore was convinced the boy was running towards him, but quickly realized he was too deep into the game he was playing to even realize he might run passed someone he knew. That was exactly what he did, closely followed by three other boys with worn clothes and brown locks of messy hair. He envied their happy games for a second before raising his gaze and finding himself staring straight into those deep brown orbs again, caught in their hold even though the man was too far away to even call out for him. Theodore swallowed sharply and walked over there, his palms growing sweaty in his pockets.
“Detective” the man grinned as he approached him and Theodore suddenly felt calmer about the whole thing. There was no malice in that smile of his, only some kind of mocking sense of pride maybe? He looked better today too, rested somehow. His left eye was only partly swollen and the lingering bruise on the right side of his face had faded to a light brown-yellow color. He looked cold, probably been standing outside for longer than he had expected, even though he seemed to be warmer dressed than most in this park. “It is nice seeing you here” he then continued and reached his hand out for Theodore to shake. “I was starting to think you might not show, lucky for you, I had nothing better to do than to wait for you all day...”
“I did not intend coming this late...” he lied in a hurry and gently took the other's hand. The fingers were cold against his warm ones and he bit his lip in worry. Maybe they should try and get inside somewhere? He would not want this man to freeze to death, not on his watch and after everything he had been through. And on top of that, these fingers were awfully slimmed. That could not be a good sign either. “...but I got held up at the office. Have you waited long?”
“Not longer than I could have if you hadn't showed” the black haired one shrugged and his eyes wandered momentarily, landing on the boys, whom here playing not too far away. “I had to take the boys out of the house anyway, they love playing here so I think it all worked out nicely”
Theodore nodded but did not let his eyes off the young man in front of him, secretly wondering everything you could possibly wonder about a person when you know nothing about them. What was his name, where was he from? When did he come to America and how old was he? Why was he such a caring big brother and what was it that he was so keen on holding from the police that he was willing to get tortured for it? The man seemed to realize he was being closely watched because he looked back at him now, big eyes blinking slowly underneath his gaze.
“My name is Theodore Altman, may I ask you for yours?” Theodore quickly asked, when the other's attention was back on him and the man seemed everything but surprised. “I know that you did not want to give it to the police. But I can assure you that I will not tell it to my chief, if that is what you would wish?”
“I don't quite care whether your chief finds out who I am by now...” the slimmed one smiled and stuck his hands down in the pockets of his pant legs, without commenting on Theodore's name. “...I have bigger things to worry about and if you do agree not to come to my house again, even though last time it was not for me but for my father, I am sure it would not matter whether he knows who I am or not...”
“I think he already knows...” Theodore admitted when thinking back about the fact that Anthony had been mentioning something about this man's father being wanted for murder?
“Well, there you go” the other one nodded. “Then what difference would it make if you know?” When Theodore only looked confused, he continued. “My name is William Kaplan” he said and reached his hand out once more, as if this was the first time they had ever spoken to each other. “I am twenty-five years of age, born Jewish. I came here with my family seven years ago, on a small boat that was supposed to bring us to a promised land, but instead took one of my brothers from me and forced my father into hiding. He is wanted for a murder which he did not commit, but it was made to look as if though he is the one the police want and for the past two months he has been hiding from you, from the gangs... well, from practically everyone with sharp objects at hand”
Theodore nodded. Wanting the man, well, William, to know that he was listening even though he could come up with nothing good to say at all. He tried to remember what he was being told, but it was hard to focus on details told by someone who was holding so much pain and anger from breaking his voice as he spoke. Theodore's heart was already throbbing with guilt he could not even explain. He had not done this man any harm... still, he wished he had, so that he could at least apologize. He shook his hand once more, feeling something shifting inside him, something changing deep down, something he could not explain.
“The other day...” William continued softly, gesturing for Theodore to take a stroll with him through the park. “I was heading to my father's hide out, my mother had told me to bring him some food, since she knew he would not have time to make his own that night. I knew I was being followed through the alley and like all others would have, I decided to take a detour. That is when I was suddenly thrown to the ground by a blast up ahead...”
“The explosion you mean? The one that I almost got caught in..?”
The dark haired one nodded and looked a bit sad somehow. “I am sorry you got hurt because of it. I am sure it was an attempt to hurt or kill me, not you...” The words confused Theodore more than he would care to admit but he only assured the other that it was not his fault. “I do not know what triggered the blast...” William sighed after being assured. “It could have been anyone or anything. A cat maybe? Point is, if I had been any closer to where you were standing, I would probably not have survived... They should be glad I was not. My father would have killed them...”
“But it also put you in another kind of danger though, did it not?” Theodore asked slowly, warming his hands in his pockets now. “It made you a suspect in a police investigation. You said yourself that you cannot afford to be apprehended by the police again, right? Are you sure they will not try to hurt you even more now..?”
“They might” the other nodded. “But I cannot do anything about that now, since it has already happened. If I would have known they would try to blow me up or that the police would apprehended me, I would not have stepped out of the apartment in the first place. But since I cannot go back in time, I will have to move on instead. If they come for me, that is something I will have to deal with later, not now...”
“True”
“As long as I do not have to worry about the police knocking at my door as well, I am sure I will be able to control it” William continued and waved at the boys as they jumped up and down on a large stone, located in the middle of the grass plot. They seemed so happy, completely unaware of what their older brother had to deal with, all hours of the day. “Detective, I am sure that you and all other police men in this city are just doing your jobs when apprehending people like you do, but I still do believe that someone should think it all through before you start a full on war on the streets. Fear is a powerful tool, and you are using it. But when people are afraid, they can also rise up and do unspeakable things, only to feel that they are in charge of their own lives. If I was afraid someone would hurt my family, I would probably even be able to kill, if I knew it would save them, just like my father. Imagine what more dangerous people than me would be able to do?”
Theodore didn't dare give it a thought at all, but nodded anyway as if he knew. He had been afraid that something like that might happen, but how could he bring it up with Anthony? Mr Stark was a man with strong beliefs and a will of steal. If he believed he was right, he would not change unless he had the truth pushed up in his face by the hand of God. This meant that even if a riot had sprung from noting, right in front of the police station, he might still not believe that he could not win the war he had created for himself. Theodore eyed the dark haired man closely and realized maybe they were not at all different from one another. William's father was probably the same kind of person as Anthony was.
They strolled in silence towards the other end of the park, people watching them as they went and even though it made Theodore feel slightly uncomfortable, William didn't even seem to notice their eyes. After all, he was not the one who did not belong here - Theodore was.
There was a bench underneath a large tree and to his surprise, the dark haired one headed for it, even though it looked awfully cold if he was to sit down on it. He did so anyway and Theodore only hesitated for a moment before joining him on the cold surface. William was rubbing his palms against each other, his fingertips paler than normally, slowly turning white now. The air around them was colder now than it had been in days and it almost felt as if Theodore's nose was freezing, now that they were sitting still.
William was watching him, but he decided he would not look back at him at the moment. Instead he let his gaze follow the children, playing not far away. It seemed they had followed him and his dark haired companion, maybe because they had been told by their brother to stay close? Or maybe William had made sure to keep the boy's in sight without Theodore even noticing it.
“So, Detective...” William eventually said, breaking the silence with his soft voice and Theodore looked back at him again, eyes meeting momentarily before the dark haired one turned his face away. “I said I would tell you everything, and you came here because of it. But what is it really you want me to tell you? I thought the police had enough information already, to know what was going on?”
Theodore grinned a little and scratched his neck. It was true that he had thought William had more to tell him than what little he already knew. If the police had more information, Anthony had kept it from him, because Theodore hardly knew anything. At least that was the feeling he was getting now. He almost hoped the police did not know anything, because he would not at all like it if it came out that he had been kept in the dark, ever since he started working for his godfather. “To be honest...” he then answered, feeling stupid as he spoke the truth to a man he was not even sure if he could trust. “...I am not quite sure what the police knows.”
“How is that?” he was asked almost immediately, and the slight worried wrinkle on William's face suggested that maybe it would be okay to tell him at least a little. After all, he seemed to be the kind of person who had a hard time not worrying about other people.
“Well, truth is... A couple of days ago, I would probably have said that I trusted my fellow police men, that I would do anything to help any of them out in a tricky spot and so on... I work for my godfather, you see, and he took after the police station after my father in '77. I've always wanted to be like my father, be a detective and help people around me. But after the explosion, which happened when I was about to go visit an old lady who had said she had information for us, I was sent home. The only thing I could think about was the case, but when I heard your story the following morning, I was not so sure I had the whole picture, if you know what I mean?”
“Were you doubting me or them?”
“Them... I think” he grinned nervously and felt thankful for the understanding smile he was given back. This one probably knew what it felt like, fearing that you are being kept in the dark by people you trust, then realizing that is exactly what is happening. “I immediately hurried to the office, thinking that of course Anthony would listen to me and explain. He was my father's best friend and has always cared a lot for me after all. But when I arrived, he acted as if though he already knew exactly who you were, as if what I had to say mattered less to him than what he was having for supper and... I ended up not even telling him about the fact that I was going to see you here today...”
“But what about...” William started, eyes widening but Theodore interrupted him quickly.
“Not to worry” he assured and smiled again. “I only didn't know how to tell him and figured that if I found something important out today, I would tell him your conditions in the morning and he would gladly accept your terms. I just could not find a way to tell him I was going to see you again, after his reaction to me telling him I had run into you on the street...”
“I see... It doesn't surprise me that he would get upset about you talking to me”
“The thing I think bothered me the most, though, was that he seemed to think I had nothing to do with all this, even though I had been the one thrown to the ground by a blast that could have taken an entire building down with it... Like I should not bother my pretty little head with it, even though it is my job to investigate...”
“Maybe he was frightened..?” the dark haired one suggested slowly and Theodore looked up in surprise. “I mean, you were hurt and then you come into the office, on your day off, babbling about some crazy Jew who says his men tortured him, am I right?” When Theodore nodded, William continued. “If I was your godfather, I would have been scared for your safety... not because I think all Jews are as scary as myself, but because I would not want anything bad to happen to you... so maybe he is keeping you in the dark, slightly off to the side, because he couldn't stand seeing your hurt...?”
“Maybe...”
“You don't seem very convinced?”
“No...” Theodore admitted and shrugged. His eyes had fallen on a grey pigeon, who was busy plucking some invisible food from off the ground in front of them. “He is not the worrying type. At least not to that extent...”
“What is his relationship to your family then? I mean, he is your godfather, and has probably been since your birth, but what is their relationship nowadays?”
Theodore would rather not answer that question and remained quiet for a while. He didn't even know this man. It felt weird talking about personal things like this with someone whom he knew almost nothing about. Still, talking at all was strangely easy around him anyway... Of course, William had told him a lot about his family by now, not to forget. Not much about himself, but his family. Theodore could at least do that much back even though he did not really want to get down to a first name basis.
“He and my mother are very close, but she lives up town so if they see each other more often than I see her, I do not know.” he eventually said. “I lost my father in the riot of '77, that is why my godfather took over as captain of the police force in the first place...”
“Your father was one of the policemen who... died in the riot?” the dark haired one asked slowly, his voice soft now. “I've only heard about it but...”
“Yes, I was four years old at the time.” Theodore nodded back, pushing his feelings away like he always did. There was no use crying over a man you hardly remembered, now was there?
“I am so sorry...”
“Don't be” he quickly smiled and placed his hand softly on the other's, for some unimaginable reason. He quickly pulled it back again and avoided the man's surprised eyes. “It was a long time ago...”
“Don't you think your godfather, being the friend of your father's, is worried that something close to what happened to him could also happen to you?” At the question, Theodore could not keep avoiding those dark eyes and looked back up into them. His fingertips were still tingling strangely from the swift touch. It was an odd feeling he had never experienced before. “I thought for years that my father did not care for me, as he did my brother when he was still alive. But when my father fell ill last winter, he asked me to come to his bedside and told me that no matter what I believed, I should never doubt that he cares for me. He had only been so scared of losing me, just as we lost Thomas, that he had distanced himself in order not to get hurt in the same way again... see, he knew it would be dangerous for us here, as soon as we stepped onto firm ground in the harbor. He needed to protect his family with his life, and things like that takes a toll on you.”
Theodore did not even know what to say. The other seemed to realize and only smiled a little before turning his eyes towards his younger brothers.
“I can't imagine losing a child, but I do know what it is like, losing your best friend...” He looked back momentarily and met Theodore's eyes, his dark one glossy with something looking close to tears. “When you lose someone that important to you, what they leave behind can turn out to be the only thing you have left to keep you going...”
“You and your brother were close then..?” The question seemed dry and uncomfortably cold in his mouth and even though he regretted asking it already he knew very well he could not take it back. Before he had time to apologize, however, the other one had answered his insensitive question.
“He was my twin... we looked a lot like each other, but we were nothing alike. We used to fight all the time but I loved him more than I loved myself. He was always the one looking after the kids, wherever we went... he was always playing with them, laughing with them. When he was gone, I was the one doing it instead, even though I had never felt like doing something like that before...”
“When you lose someone that important to you, what they leave behind can turn out to be the only thing you have left to keep you going” Theodore quoted and the other smiled sadly while nodding.
“You were listening?” he then asked and Theodore grinned softly. Of course he had been listening. Was he crazy? “But do you understand what I mean with it? I can understand that you would be upset that your godfather has not told you everything about what you are giving yourself into... I mean, it even got you hurt, badly, and that was probably something he was very scared would happen to you”
“He did dismiss me, saying that I was off duty, off the case...” Theodore sighed and rubbed his forehead slightly. He had been so upset he had forgotten all about the fact that Anthony might have been overreacting as well. He might be the kind who did not show he had feelings like that, but you'd have to be an idiot to really think that about him.
“You see?” William smiled and nodded with encouragement shining through his eyes. “As soon as he has calmed down and realizes that you are ok, he will probably sit down and talk to you about all this. Giving you the ever-since-your-father-died-speech and you will probably feel bad because you had been wrong about him all along...”
“I just do not understand why he would keep facts about my work from me, when they might even have saved me from getting blasted into bits...?”
“Maybe he regrets that at the moment too, but when you've started covering the truth up, it is very hard to stop...”
After Theodore's short shrug, they sat in silence again, the pigeon still picking away before them, now joined by three others. Apparently they had found something interesting over there. It was strange now, to sit next to this man and suddenly know so many things about him that it almost felt too personal. To be honest, he had never really spoken about his own life like this before, not with anyone. His mother had always avoided the subject when he was around, Anthony had never given him the feeling he wanted it brought up, even though Theodore had needed to talk about it in his earlier years, he was sure. When thinking about it, no one really knew how his father's death and everything following it had affected his life... no one knew anything, except William. Which was just absurd. He was sitting here, not with his future wife or best mate, but with a man he had only spoken too once before in his life, a man with a completely different social status, from a background Theodore was even afraid of thinking about... still, it felt more natural to speak to this man, than to any other person he had ever spoken to before. Strange...
“So, without leaving the subject again...” William chuckled as the pigeons decided to find better feeding ground and left them in silence on the bench. “...what do you want to know, Detective?”
“I am not even sure anymore...” Theodore admitted and shrugged, leaning forward to lean his head in the palms of his hands, elbows resting against his thighs. “I am sure a lot of what you know is already known to my godfather, but I guess I would want to know it too. I don't feel comfortable working here when I do not know all the details there is to know...”
“I understand you...” the dark one nodded. “No matter if he is scared for your safety or not, your godfather should really understand that keeping you in the dark might be even more dangerous than telling you every detail...”
“He is probably scared that if I know things, I will run off and take matters in my own hands...”
“But now, when you feel he keeps you in the dark, that is exactly what you're doing? Can't he understand this only makes you want to learn the truth more?”
“I guess... he doesn't know me very well...”
William grinned a bit, saying he knew the feeling. Theodore could not help it and returned the grin. What was going on with him today?
“The people you are after...” William started though, without him even having to ask about it and Theodore immediately forgot everything else. “The ones the old lady promised you information about, the gang?”
“Yes?”
“Monk Eastman...” The name was said with disgust and Theodore bit down on his lip. He had heard the name before but he was not at all sure where right now. The station maybe? “Corlear's Hook, that's where their headquarter is, although I am fairly certain they have other places to go if someone was to find it... The Eastman gang, they call themselves...”
“How come you know this? Are they the ones who...?”
“Who have threatened to kill my father and tried to blow me up? Yes” William answered shortly and sighed, rubbing his cold fingers together. He was even colder now... they should get inside. “Sadly enough, for me and all the people like me, they are almost exclusively Jewish and people on the streets know this... I am scared for my family, not only because my father is not one of Eastman's favorite people, but also because someone has been spreading the rumor that our father is involved with them, like working to them. Not the other way around...”
“And you know this isn't true?” He knew the question must be hard for William to hear, since he must have been trying for years to convince himself everyone else was wrong about it. He could see it in those dark eyes now, the fear that what he was talking about might not be the whole truth.
“I... at first I was convinced the rumors weren't true. I mean, he is my father... my hero. I was convinced everyone were just lying and that it was killing my father to hear about it... But then I started to doubt it, when I realized that he must have done something wrong to get a death sentence from them hanging over his shoulders, but still he had never told me anything about it. I am his oldest son, I am the one constantly bringing him food and information, but he never takes the steps to tell me what is going on, which is kind of like your situation, now that I think about it...”
Theodore nodded, trying to smile in an understanding way but he didn't know how it came out. William shrugged a little and sighed, scratching his neck before continuing where he had left it. “He has assured me that he is not one of them, and that much I am willing to believe, since he wouldn't have been forced to go into hiding if he was. But it is the beginning of all this that I do not believe...”
“I hope he is not a too big a part of it all... for your sake”
“Thank you Detective... and I don't quite know more than this about the Eastman's, but at least you know now about their whereabouts and who they are. I hope you can get to them, before they get to us and the rest of our society... How they can steal and rape their own, I do not understand” With this, the man stood up from the bench and Theodore did the same, surprised as he was. Was their conversation over..? They had been talking for about an hour, but it felt more like the entire day had gone by. Theodore hadn't even noticed the cold that much, not more than the fact that he had seen the color of William's fingers change from pale pink to white.
“Thank you...” he managed and reached his hand out for the other man, his fingers trembling somewhat from the emotional strain he now realized he had been under. His hand was clasped tightly by the coldest fingers he had ever touched before.
“I'm glad I could help...” William nodded but his fingers remained only a little longer between Theodore's, maybe because he was so cold. Theodore didn't mind, he was the one who had made William wait half a day anyway. The least he could do was warm his hands. He did not pull away.
“You did, thank you” he said instead and smiled. He was slightly sad that it was over. Opening up to someone that understood you had proven to be exactly what he had needed in order to feel trust towards another human being. He would have liked to talk to William longer, which he realized now when it was too late to do anything about it. His fingers were gripped tighter for only a short moment as the dark haired one looked into his eyes. It made Theodore wonder whether William felt the same as he did. He would never have dared asking him. “If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know?”
“Thank you, Detective...”
“Theodore is fine...” he interrupted, surprised at himself for even saying it, but the smile on the other's face made it all worth it. How a smile could make you all warm on the inside he had no idea, but apparently it was possible.
“Then thank you, Theodore...” he corrected himself and the warmth inside Theodore's stomach grew to max, forcing him to exhale quietly for some reason. “But I think, as long as no one form the police will come banging at my door, we will be fine. You really don't owe me anything. I am very glad you even came here to talk to me, I know that meeting me is something which is probably frowned upon where you live...”
“Really, I didn't mind... I have had a lovely time, considering we've been talking about how incredibly sad our lives have been so far...”
This made the dark haired one laugh. The sound was far from what Theodore had been expecting and he could do nothing but stare. There was something about that laugh, the smile and the way his eyes squinted just a little that made Theodore's heart beat painfully hard in his chest. It was as if William had not laughed in years and Theodore knew about it, as if he had been wishing to hear and see it for a long, long time without even realizing it himself. When the dark haired one eventually stopped, Theodore realized he was smiling like an idiot himself.
“I have a bad sense of humor...” William excused himself and dried a soft tear away from the corner of his eye. “I'm sorry... I'm embarrassing myself”
“You're really not...” Theodore assured. If anything, he would have made another joke just to get the man to laugh again.
“Well, I am glad that you feel I haven't been wasting your time...”
Theodore would have loved to answer this with the promise that the dark haired one had not at all wasted his time, but the two boys, who had been playing so nicely until now, were on their way to where they were standing and William became distracted immediately.
“Bruder!” the older one called as they got closer, the younger one holding his brother's hand tightly. His large eyes widened at the sight of Theodore and soon he was smiling largely while waving at him. Theodore's heart was aching for the little one again. He looked even dirtier than before... although, that could be because he had been out all day playing. “Gehen wir nach hause..?”
“We're going now, don't worry” William replied, in English though, to Theodore's relief. He had always found it slightly weird to stand with someone who spoke with another person in a language he did not understand. He was thankful the dark haired man seemed to realize this. “My brothers want to go home...” William then explained and even looked slightly sad of having to leave. “They need to get something to eat and warm themselves. I hope you don't mind?”
“No no” he quickly assured. “I need to be getting back too, and I need to talk to... Anthony as well”
William nodded and looked down at his siblings, love shining through his eyes as he did so. “Well...” he then said and looked back up at Theodore, his gaze still filled with that calm sense of emotion he had shown his brothers just now. “I am glad I met you, Theodore...”
“Likewise...”
“Will we see you again?” the youngest one inquired, his brows wrinkled as his eyes passed from him to his eldest brother and Theodore met William's eyes quickly, not knowing what to say. He knew they probably wouldn't, but should he really tell the kid that? The other man inhaled quickly, looking torn about the situation as well while biting down hard on his bottom lip. ”Will we..?”
“We'll see” Theodore nodded and smiled, kneeling in front of the little one. His slightly older brother, about the age of nine or maybe ten, looked at the two of them with confusion in his eyes. They had never met before, how could he understand why his little brother was so eager to meet this stranger again. “But you be good now, ok? Listen to your mom, and your brothers. Be good and I'll try and come see you some day, yeah?”
The boy nodded, seeming less convinced than what could have been hoped for, but eventually he smiled and stepped back with his brother, gripping his hand tightly again as they walked away down the dirt road. William smiled, sending Theodore a glance to the side as they watched the little ones leave. “Thank you” he said, softly. “I... still can't quite handle him when things like this happen. He reminds me so much of how his older brother was after Thomas...”
“Always asking when he was going to see Thomas again?”
“Yes...”
“Apparently I did that too” Theodore admitted and let his hand gently rest on the other's shoulder for a while, to show his support. “After my father passed away. It will pass, William... no matter how long it takes, one day the pain will be less apparent and you will be able to remember the good things instead of the bad”
“I hope you are right...”
And that was it.
Theodore made his way back to the trolley with his heart trembling strangely in his chest. He was both exhilarated and scared at the same time. He wanted to make sure Anthony knew about all of this, yet he was afraid that if he did tell his godfather what he had been told, he might put William and his family in more danger than they had ever been in. He didn't want anything to happen to those kids or their older brother, not to their parents either when it came down to that. And he certainly didn't want something to happen because of something he had done. As he stood and waited for the streetcar to arrive at the police station, his mind was wandering to those desperate brown eyes, closing his own to imagine them smiling towards him instead. William should be smiling more often. It did a lot for him...
Chapter: two of eight
Author: coooodes aka Billy
Word Count: 54,549 words
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: AU, violence, character death, antisemitism, homosexual insinuation
Pairings: Teddy/Billy
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the computer which I wrote this on.
masterpost
chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five chapter six chapter seven chapter eight
It took him more than half an hour before he found a streetcar that would take him to the station. His head was hurting again, this time worse than before. He was worried and confused, thinking that the man had probably been lying to him. The police force was not supposed to abuse people as they had that man. It could not be true but he had to ask. He had to know. The trolley was slow and crowded, his bowler felt heavy on his head and he constantly felt himself drowsing away into the world of blissful sleep. When he was finally there, his face felt warm and he could barely keep his eyes open when stepping out onto the snowy street.
Heads were lifted and whispers broke out as he passed the first room. These people he didn't quite know, but they certainly knew about him it seemed. Steven came hurrying for him as he stepped into the larger office, looking very worried. Theodore didn't even bother to wonder why. He just wanted to get this over with so that he could go home and sleep.
“What are you doing here today Altman?” the older man asked and he felt his lips crack as he answered. That was never a pleasant feeling.
“I need to talk to the chief... it is very important. Can you tell him for me, Rogers?”
“Certainly” he nodded, his blue eyes showing his worry even though he was still smiling. “Would you want me to make you something while you wait?”
“No thank you” he declined and seated himself on the bench outside the chief's office. “I will be going immediately afterwards. Would not want you to go through a lot of trouble making me something I still won’t finish...”
“I will tell him right away then” Steven nodded and was gone.
Only minutes later, the door to the office opened and he was invited inside. It was warm and comfortable in there, but something seemed different form the other times he had been there. He did not feel as safe as he always did... maybe because he was doubting the credibility of the man in front of him? Maybe because he had realized that this man was nothing like his father had been. He would never have let something like this happen. If it even was true. But it couldn't be, right?
“Theodore” the chief said and stood up as he entered. He always used to call him by his first name when one of them was off duty, but this time it did not make Theodore smile as he usually did. He seated himself in front of the desk with a sigh and met the other's light brown eyes firmly.
“Anthony” he started, feeling annoyed as the other one grinned, failing to see the seriousness of the situation. Not that he had any idea what Theodore was there to tell him, but he should have caught the serious tone in his voice at least. This man had a problem with being serious it seemed. “I happened to run into our suspect today...” at this, Anthony's eyes narrowed and his grin faded. The change was so dramatic it almost looked silly. “...he was showing signs of bruises, and he tells me he was beaten here, is that correct?”
“Beaten? Here?”
The man was buying time by repeating the question. He was stalling. Theodore had seen it before, but never in this man. Was he thinking of what to say? Of how to best cover the whole thing up maybe..?
“Yes, here” he answered instead of pointing out to the man that he could see through him quite nicely. “I can understand that sometimes, certain means of persuasion is required to get information out of known criminals” he then continued quickly and felt his voice shake as he started understanding maybe what he had been told was nothing but correct after all. “But to torture a man who has never before been known by the police and who has not done anyone any harm... only to get him to give us information that we are not even sure he even possesses? I think this is very wrong, and if it is true, I would like to talk to you about this and make sure it does not happen again.”
There was silence for longer than what he felt comfortable with, but before he could speak again, Anthony finally answered to his accusations. “He was not speaking, and I told my men they had the right to do what was necessary to get the information we needed out of him”
The answer made him sick to his stomach but he hindered himself from showing this anywhere, not by facial expression or in the tone of his voice. “And yet, you got nothing, isn't that correct? Did it ever occur to you that he might not have had any idea what on earth you wanted to know from him?”
“It did” Anthony sighed and got up from his chair to be able to go through some papers, turning his back towards Theodore. Deliberately hiding his face. “But did it ever occur to you that he is from the slums, with both his parents involved in serious crime, born Jewish and his father on the run for murder?” He turned back again, looking almost victorious. “I thought it had not. Well, I am sure your little friend forgot to mention this to you, but as it turns out, this is the truth. The man can be innocent for all I know, and the fact that he is a Jew has almost nothing to do with him in this case... in fact, even though you might think this of me; I do not have any kind of personal problems with the fact that Jews seem to be all over this town... after all, we are all immigrants. The thing that bothers me, is that when we take them in for questioning, they always keep so bloody quiet. Just like he did, and I ask myself; if he did not know anything, why did he not just tell us so? We would have let him go? No, he has to sit there quietly, protecting everyone he knows because according to them, we are the bad ones.”
“If we keep treating them like rats, sooner or later, we will be” Theodore objected and stood up himself. His heart was banging painfully against his chest now, it always did when he was angry enough to shout at a man twice his age and strength. “I don't care what your personal opinion is, Sir, I really do not. But these people hate us because of what we do to them and their loved ones when they are not guilty of anything, not because of what we do to a man or woman who has done wrong. I know in my heart that they feel the same way we do about people who break the law... and of course I am not talking about stealing food now, because some people really have to do this to survive... I am talking about real crime here, Sir; murder, ravishment, assault and thievery. If we keep treating this growing society like we treat pest and vermin, that is what will grow out of it. People need us to keep the peace, so treat the people like human beings and then you can expect their cooperation.”
“It is not that easy Theodore” the older man tried softly. “And you know this from personal experience...”
“I do” he nodded back and let his eyes catch the other's gaze. “But what he told me about his life made me realize that if we keep treating this as a war, they will not give in until they have won it or taken half of us down with them in their fall... Before my time here, there were riots worse than the police force had ever imagined. I remember them because I heard my father talk about them at night with my mother. She was afraid to even sleep when he was at work, afraid he would not come back to her. He was lost in this war, Anthony, and I pray that he will be the last...”
“You are too worried about this” the dark haired one sighed, but Theodore had noticed him flinch at the mentioning of his father's death. “There will be no more riots and no more casualties. Maybe you are right about us being too harsh towards people that are less fortunate than we would care to admit, but that does not mean that they are allowed to commit crimes and we should turn the other cheek. They, like everyone else, need to see that we will not go lightly on people who break the law...”
“But this one has done nothing wrong!”
“How do you know this for sure, Theodore? You are, truly, very bright and I can assure you, you have made both your parents proud by joining the force. But you are only twenty-five years of age... I would advise you to leave the more difficult evaluation work to the more experienced detectives here, while you go home and rest. You have been through a lot these past few days. It is time that I see the seriousness in your injuries and send you home. You are not fit for duty...”
“You cannot do that..?” Theodore tried but the man's face had grown stiff, without emotion. “Sir, I... I am fit for work, you know I am? I did not mean to get upset, I just feel that there has been a mistake here and I want to correct it...”
“Go home, Altman, before I take your firearm as well”
And that was that. There was nothing more he could do. The man had turned his back again, already lightening his pipe. Theodore just stood there, his breath still rapid and his lungs aching. What about the things he had been wanting to say? For instance, that the man they had just had a fight over was going to see him the day after and tell him everything they wanted to know? Maybe he should bring it up now, before this got any worse... on the other hand, why should he help this man when all he seemed to care for was that he kept people behind bars and could do whatever he wanted? It was better to just go and see the black haired man alone, and if the information he got was good enough, maybe he would come back to the office and have Anthony Stark beg on his bare knees for the answers he then would possess. The thought was appealing and he decided to go through with his plan, leaving the office silently, without another word.
...
It was cold, but not cold enough for him not to smell the stench from thousands of chimneys spewing black smoke above the rooftops. He closed his black coat harder around his chest, happy he took this one and not his uniform. It would have been too prominent, he did not want to look like a police man today, plus it was much less padded than this one and he suspected he would be outside quite a lot this afternoon.
Since the black haired man from the slums had not set a time for their meeting, Theodore assumed that any time during the day would be good and had decided he would take it after lunch. That way, it would not be so utterly cold and he would have some time to collect his thoughts and decide upon what he was even going to say to the man. When walking the distance from his building to the streetcar, that would take him straight to the park, he had decided that at least he should not tell the man that he was off duty for the moment. It would spark too many questions and frankly, he did not feel the need to hang around the slums all day long.
Upon stepping off the slowly moving vehicle, he threw a quick glance backwards to see if he was being followed. Why, he was unsure, but it felt better to know that he held track of who came and who went behind his back. With a deep breath he then steered his steps towards the white park, hands buried deeply the pockets of his coat and his bowler resting firmly on his head. It was better to just do this and get it all over with. He was nervous, and a bit frightened that maybe the other man would see it.
The park was crowded, even being in the middle of winter and the middle of the day. He was not surprised, not really, seeing as there were mostly people living in the slums here, most had no other jobs than selling things on the streets. He was even happier now, than before, that he had not taken his uniform. This way, he could look like any man taking a stroll through the park. The only thing that might make him less of one in the crowd was the fact that his hair was clean and his clothes stainless. No one seemed to really care, however, and since his blonde hair was neatly tucked in underneath his bowler, he felt no need to worry about his ethnicity.
After a while, cruising around the park with no luck finding the mystery man he was having an appointment with, he was almost about to give up. Maybe he should have been there earlier, but no matter the case, if the man was not here anymore, it would be pointless to try to find him. After all, he had promised not to come banging on their door again and the man had said they would be gone anyway. He sighed and was just about to turn and head back the same way he had gotten there when he saw a familiar boy running his way with a smug grin on his face and a wooden sword in his hand. At first, Theodore was convinced the boy was running towards him, but quickly realized he was too deep into the game he was playing to even realize he might run passed someone he knew. That was exactly what he did, closely followed by three other boys with worn clothes and brown locks of messy hair. He envied their happy games for a second before raising his gaze and finding himself staring straight into those deep brown orbs again, caught in their hold even though the man was too far away to even call out for him. Theodore swallowed sharply and walked over there, his palms growing sweaty in his pockets.
“Detective” the man grinned as he approached him and Theodore suddenly felt calmer about the whole thing. There was no malice in that smile of his, only some kind of mocking sense of pride maybe? He looked better today too, rested somehow. His left eye was only partly swollen and the lingering bruise on the right side of his face had faded to a light brown-yellow color. He looked cold, probably been standing outside for longer than he had expected, even though he seemed to be warmer dressed than most in this park. “It is nice seeing you here” he then continued and reached his hand out for Theodore to shake. “I was starting to think you might not show, lucky for you, I had nothing better to do than to wait for you all day...”
“I did not intend coming this late...” he lied in a hurry and gently took the other's hand. The fingers were cold against his warm ones and he bit his lip in worry. Maybe they should try and get inside somewhere? He would not want this man to freeze to death, not on his watch and after everything he had been through. And on top of that, these fingers were awfully slimmed. That could not be a good sign either. “...but I got held up at the office. Have you waited long?”
“Not longer than I could have if you hadn't showed” the black haired one shrugged and his eyes wandered momentarily, landing on the boys, whom here playing not too far away. “I had to take the boys out of the house anyway, they love playing here so I think it all worked out nicely”
Theodore nodded but did not let his eyes off the young man in front of him, secretly wondering everything you could possibly wonder about a person when you know nothing about them. What was his name, where was he from? When did he come to America and how old was he? Why was he such a caring big brother and what was it that he was so keen on holding from the police that he was willing to get tortured for it? The man seemed to realize he was being closely watched because he looked back at him now, big eyes blinking slowly underneath his gaze.
“My name is Theodore Altman, may I ask you for yours?” Theodore quickly asked, when the other's attention was back on him and the man seemed everything but surprised. “I know that you did not want to give it to the police. But I can assure you that I will not tell it to my chief, if that is what you would wish?”
“I don't quite care whether your chief finds out who I am by now...” the slimmed one smiled and stuck his hands down in the pockets of his pant legs, without commenting on Theodore's name. “...I have bigger things to worry about and if you do agree not to come to my house again, even though last time it was not for me but for my father, I am sure it would not matter whether he knows who I am or not...”
“I think he already knows...” Theodore admitted when thinking back about the fact that Anthony had been mentioning something about this man's father being wanted for murder?
“Well, there you go” the other one nodded. “Then what difference would it make if you know?” When Theodore only looked confused, he continued. “My name is William Kaplan” he said and reached his hand out once more, as if this was the first time they had ever spoken to each other. “I am twenty-five years of age, born Jewish. I came here with my family seven years ago, on a small boat that was supposed to bring us to a promised land, but instead took one of my brothers from me and forced my father into hiding. He is wanted for a murder which he did not commit, but it was made to look as if though he is the one the police want and for the past two months he has been hiding from you, from the gangs... well, from practically everyone with sharp objects at hand”
Theodore nodded. Wanting the man, well, William, to know that he was listening even though he could come up with nothing good to say at all. He tried to remember what he was being told, but it was hard to focus on details told by someone who was holding so much pain and anger from breaking his voice as he spoke. Theodore's heart was already throbbing with guilt he could not even explain. He had not done this man any harm... still, he wished he had, so that he could at least apologize. He shook his hand once more, feeling something shifting inside him, something changing deep down, something he could not explain.
“The other day...” William continued softly, gesturing for Theodore to take a stroll with him through the park. “I was heading to my father's hide out, my mother had told me to bring him some food, since she knew he would not have time to make his own that night. I knew I was being followed through the alley and like all others would have, I decided to take a detour. That is when I was suddenly thrown to the ground by a blast up ahead...”
“The explosion you mean? The one that I almost got caught in..?”
The dark haired one nodded and looked a bit sad somehow. “I am sorry you got hurt because of it. I am sure it was an attempt to hurt or kill me, not you...” The words confused Theodore more than he would care to admit but he only assured the other that it was not his fault. “I do not know what triggered the blast...” William sighed after being assured. “It could have been anyone or anything. A cat maybe? Point is, if I had been any closer to where you were standing, I would probably not have survived... They should be glad I was not. My father would have killed them...”
“But it also put you in another kind of danger though, did it not?” Theodore asked slowly, warming his hands in his pockets now. “It made you a suspect in a police investigation. You said yourself that you cannot afford to be apprehended by the police again, right? Are you sure they will not try to hurt you even more now..?”
“They might” the other nodded. “But I cannot do anything about that now, since it has already happened. If I would have known they would try to blow me up or that the police would apprehended me, I would not have stepped out of the apartment in the first place. But since I cannot go back in time, I will have to move on instead. If they come for me, that is something I will have to deal with later, not now...”
“True”
“As long as I do not have to worry about the police knocking at my door as well, I am sure I will be able to control it” William continued and waved at the boys as they jumped up and down on a large stone, located in the middle of the grass plot. They seemed so happy, completely unaware of what their older brother had to deal with, all hours of the day. “Detective, I am sure that you and all other police men in this city are just doing your jobs when apprehending people like you do, but I still do believe that someone should think it all through before you start a full on war on the streets. Fear is a powerful tool, and you are using it. But when people are afraid, they can also rise up and do unspeakable things, only to feel that they are in charge of their own lives. If I was afraid someone would hurt my family, I would probably even be able to kill, if I knew it would save them, just like my father. Imagine what more dangerous people than me would be able to do?”
Theodore didn't dare give it a thought at all, but nodded anyway as if he knew. He had been afraid that something like that might happen, but how could he bring it up with Anthony? Mr Stark was a man with strong beliefs and a will of steal. If he believed he was right, he would not change unless he had the truth pushed up in his face by the hand of God. This meant that even if a riot had sprung from noting, right in front of the police station, he might still not believe that he could not win the war he had created for himself. Theodore eyed the dark haired man closely and realized maybe they were not at all different from one another. William's father was probably the same kind of person as Anthony was.
They strolled in silence towards the other end of the park, people watching them as they went and even though it made Theodore feel slightly uncomfortable, William didn't even seem to notice their eyes. After all, he was not the one who did not belong here - Theodore was.
There was a bench underneath a large tree and to his surprise, the dark haired one headed for it, even though it looked awfully cold if he was to sit down on it. He did so anyway and Theodore only hesitated for a moment before joining him on the cold surface. William was rubbing his palms against each other, his fingertips paler than normally, slowly turning white now. The air around them was colder now than it had been in days and it almost felt as if Theodore's nose was freezing, now that they were sitting still.
William was watching him, but he decided he would not look back at him at the moment. Instead he let his gaze follow the children, playing not far away. It seemed they had followed him and his dark haired companion, maybe because they had been told by their brother to stay close? Or maybe William had made sure to keep the boy's in sight without Theodore even noticing it.
“So, Detective...” William eventually said, breaking the silence with his soft voice and Theodore looked back at him again, eyes meeting momentarily before the dark haired one turned his face away. “I said I would tell you everything, and you came here because of it. But what is it really you want me to tell you? I thought the police had enough information already, to know what was going on?”
Theodore grinned a little and scratched his neck. It was true that he had thought William had more to tell him than what little he already knew. If the police had more information, Anthony had kept it from him, because Theodore hardly knew anything. At least that was the feeling he was getting now. He almost hoped the police did not know anything, because he would not at all like it if it came out that he had been kept in the dark, ever since he started working for his godfather. “To be honest...” he then answered, feeling stupid as he spoke the truth to a man he was not even sure if he could trust. “...I am not quite sure what the police knows.”
“How is that?” he was asked almost immediately, and the slight worried wrinkle on William's face suggested that maybe it would be okay to tell him at least a little. After all, he seemed to be the kind of person who had a hard time not worrying about other people.
“Well, truth is... A couple of days ago, I would probably have said that I trusted my fellow police men, that I would do anything to help any of them out in a tricky spot and so on... I work for my godfather, you see, and he took after the police station after my father in '77. I've always wanted to be like my father, be a detective and help people around me. But after the explosion, which happened when I was about to go visit an old lady who had said she had information for us, I was sent home. The only thing I could think about was the case, but when I heard your story the following morning, I was not so sure I had the whole picture, if you know what I mean?”
“Were you doubting me or them?”
“Them... I think” he grinned nervously and felt thankful for the understanding smile he was given back. This one probably knew what it felt like, fearing that you are being kept in the dark by people you trust, then realizing that is exactly what is happening. “I immediately hurried to the office, thinking that of course Anthony would listen to me and explain. He was my father's best friend and has always cared a lot for me after all. But when I arrived, he acted as if though he already knew exactly who you were, as if what I had to say mattered less to him than what he was having for supper and... I ended up not even telling him about the fact that I was going to see you here today...”
“But what about...” William started, eyes widening but Theodore interrupted him quickly.
“Not to worry” he assured and smiled again. “I only didn't know how to tell him and figured that if I found something important out today, I would tell him your conditions in the morning and he would gladly accept your terms. I just could not find a way to tell him I was going to see you again, after his reaction to me telling him I had run into you on the street...”
“I see... It doesn't surprise me that he would get upset about you talking to me”
“The thing I think bothered me the most, though, was that he seemed to think I had nothing to do with all this, even though I had been the one thrown to the ground by a blast that could have taken an entire building down with it... Like I should not bother my pretty little head with it, even though it is my job to investigate...”
“Maybe he was frightened..?” the dark haired one suggested slowly and Theodore looked up in surprise. “I mean, you were hurt and then you come into the office, on your day off, babbling about some crazy Jew who says his men tortured him, am I right?” When Theodore nodded, William continued. “If I was your godfather, I would have been scared for your safety... not because I think all Jews are as scary as myself, but because I would not want anything bad to happen to you... so maybe he is keeping you in the dark, slightly off to the side, because he couldn't stand seeing your hurt...?”
“Maybe...”
“You don't seem very convinced?”
“No...” Theodore admitted and shrugged. His eyes had fallen on a grey pigeon, who was busy plucking some invisible food from off the ground in front of them. “He is not the worrying type. At least not to that extent...”
“What is his relationship to your family then? I mean, he is your godfather, and has probably been since your birth, but what is their relationship nowadays?”
Theodore would rather not answer that question and remained quiet for a while. He didn't even know this man. It felt weird talking about personal things like this with someone whom he knew almost nothing about. Still, talking at all was strangely easy around him anyway... Of course, William had told him a lot about his family by now, not to forget. Not much about himself, but his family. Theodore could at least do that much back even though he did not really want to get down to a first name basis.
“He and my mother are very close, but she lives up town so if they see each other more often than I see her, I do not know.” he eventually said. “I lost my father in the riot of '77, that is why my godfather took over as captain of the police force in the first place...”
“Your father was one of the policemen who... died in the riot?” the dark haired one asked slowly, his voice soft now. “I've only heard about it but...”
“Yes, I was four years old at the time.” Theodore nodded back, pushing his feelings away like he always did. There was no use crying over a man you hardly remembered, now was there?
“I am so sorry...”
“Don't be” he quickly smiled and placed his hand softly on the other's, for some unimaginable reason. He quickly pulled it back again and avoided the man's surprised eyes. “It was a long time ago...”
“Don't you think your godfather, being the friend of your father's, is worried that something close to what happened to him could also happen to you?” At the question, Theodore could not keep avoiding those dark eyes and looked back up into them. His fingertips were still tingling strangely from the swift touch. It was an odd feeling he had never experienced before. “I thought for years that my father did not care for me, as he did my brother when he was still alive. But when my father fell ill last winter, he asked me to come to his bedside and told me that no matter what I believed, I should never doubt that he cares for me. He had only been so scared of losing me, just as we lost Thomas, that he had distanced himself in order not to get hurt in the same way again... see, he knew it would be dangerous for us here, as soon as we stepped onto firm ground in the harbor. He needed to protect his family with his life, and things like that takes a toll on you.”
Theodore did not even know what to say. The other seemed to realize and only smiled a little before turning his eyes towards his younger brothers.
“I can't imagine losing a child, but I do know what it is like, losing your best friend...” He looked back momentarily and met Theodore's eyes, his dark one glossy with something looking close to tears. “When you lose someone that important to you, what they leave behind can turn out to be the only thing you have left to keep you going...”
“You and your brother were close then..?” The question seemed dry and uncomfortably cold in his mouth and even though he regretted asking it already he knew very well he could not take it back. Before he had time to apologize, however, the other one had answered his insensitive question.
“He was my twin... we looked a lot like each other, but we were nothing alike. We used to fight all the time but I loved him more than I loved myself. He was always the one looking after the kids, wherever we went... he was always playing with them, laughing with them. When he was gone, I was the one doing it instead, even though I had never felt like doing something like that before...”
“When you lose someone that important to you, what they leave behind can turn out to be the only thing you have left to keep you going” Theodore quoted and the other smiled sadly while nodding.
“You were listening?” he then asked and Theodore grinned softly. Of course he had been listening. Was he crazy? “But do you understand what I mean with it? I can understand that you would be upset that your godfather has not told you everything about what you are giving yourself into... I mean, it even got you hurt, badly, and that was probably something he was very scared would happen to you”
“He did dismiss me, saying that I was off duty, off the case...” Theodore sighed and rubbed his forehead slightly. He had been so upset he had forgotten all about the fact that Anthony might have been overreacting as well. He might be the kind who did not show he had feelings like that, but you'd have to be an idiot to really think that about him.
“You see?” William smiled and nodded with encouragement shining through his eyes. “As soon as he has calmed down and realizes that you are ok, he will probably sit down and talk to you about all this. Giving you the ever-since-your-father-died-speech and you will probably feel bad because you had been wrong about him all along...”
“I just do not understand why he would keep facts about my work from me, when they might even have saved me from getting blasted into bits...?”
“Maybe he regrets that at the moment too, but when you've started covering the truth up, it is very hard to stop...”
After Theodore's short shrug, they sat in silence again, the pigeon still picking away before them, now joined by three others. Apparently they had found something interesting over there. It was strange now, to sit next to this man and suddenly know so many things about him that it almost felt too personal. To be honest, he had never really spoken about his own life like this before, not with anyone. His mother had always avoided the subject when he was around, Anthony had never given him the feeling he wanted it brought up, even though Theodore had needed to talk about it in his earlier years, he was sure. When thinking about it, no one really knew how his father's death and everything following it had affected his life... no one knew anything, except William. Which was just absurd. He was sitting here, not with his future wife or best mate, but with a man he had only spoken too once before in his life, a man with a completely different social status, from a background Theodore was even afraid of thinking about... still, it felt more natural to speak to this man, than to any other person he had ever spoken to before. Strange...
“So, without leaving the subject again...” William chuckled as the pigeons decided to find better feeding ground and left them in silence on the bench. “...what do you want to know, Detective?”
“I am not even sure anymore...” Theodore admitted and shrugged, leaning forward to lean his head in the palms of his hands, elbows resting against his thighs. “I am sure a lot of what you know is already known to my godfather, but I guess I would want to know it too. I don't feel comfortable working here when I do not know all the details there is to know...”
“I understand you...” the dark one nodded. “No matter if he is scared for your safety or not, your godfather should really understand that keeping you in the dark might be even more dangerous than telling you every detail...”
“He is probably scared that if I know things, I will run off and take matters in my own hands...”
“But now, when you feel he keeps you in the dark, that is exactly what you're doing? Can't he understand this only makes you want to learn the truth more?”
“I guess... he doesn't know me very well...”
William grinned a bit, saying he knew the feeling. Theodore could not help it and returned the grin. What was going on with him today?
“The people you are after...” William started though, without him even having to ask about it and Theodore immediately forgot everything else. “The ones the old lady promised you information about, the gang?”
“Yes?”
“Monk Eastman...” The name was said with disgust and Theodore bit down on his lip. He had heard the name before but he was not at all sure where right now. The station maybe? “Corlear's Hook, that's where their headquarter is, although I am fairly certain they have other places to go if someone was to find it... The Eastman gang, they call themselves...”
“How come you know this? Are they the ones who...?”
“Who have threatened to kill my father and tried to blow me up? Yes” William answered shortly and sighed, rubbing his cold fingers together. He was even colder now... they should get inside. “Sadly enough, for me and all the people like me, they are almost exclusively Jewish and people on the streets know this... I am scared for my family, not only because my father is not one of Eastman's favorite people, but also because someone has been spreading the rumor that our father is involved with them, like working to them. Not the other way around...”
“And you know this isn't true?” He knew the question must be hard for William to hear, since he must have been trying for years to convince himself everyone else was wrong about it. He could see it in those dark eyes now, the fear that what he was talking about might not be the whole truth.
“I... at first I was convinced the rumors weren't true. I mean, he is my father... my hero. I was convinced everyone were just lying and that it was killing my father to hear about it... But then I started to doubt it, when I realized that he must have done something wrong to get a death sentence from them hanging over his shoulders, but still he had never told me anything about it. I am his oldest son, I am the one constantly bringing him food and information, but he never takes the steps to tell me what is going on, which is kind of like your situation, now that I think about it...”
Theodore nodded, trying to smile in an understanding way but he didn't know how it came out. William shrugged a little and sighed, scratching his neck before continuing where he had left it. “He has assured me that he is not one of them, and that much I am willing to believe, since he wouldn't have been forced to go into hiding if he was. But it is the beginning of all this that I do not believe...”
“I hope he is not a too big a part of it all... for your sake”
“Thank you Detective... and I don't quite know more than this about the Eastman's, but at least you know now about their whereabouts and who they are. I hope you can get to them, before they get to us and the rest of our society... How they can steal and rape their own, I do not understand” With this, the man stood up from the bench and Theodore did the same, surprised as he was. Was their conversation over..? They had been talking for about an hour, but it felt more like the entire day had gone by. Theodore hadn't even noticed the cold that much, not more than the fact that he had seen the color of William's fingers change from pale pink to white.
“Thank you...” he managed and reached his hand out for the other man, his fingers trembling somewhat from the emotional strain he now realized he had been under. His hand was clasped tightly by the coldest fingers he had ever touched before.
“I'm glad I could help...” William nodded but his fingers remained only a little longer between Theodore's, maybe because he was so cold. Theodore didn't mind, he was the one who had made William wait half a day anyway. The least he could do was warm his hands. He did not pull away.
“You did, thank you” he said instead and smiled. He was slightly sad that it was over. Opening up to someone that understood you had proven to be exactly what he had needed in order to feel trust towards another human being. He would have liked to talk to William longer, which he realized now when it was too late to do anything about it. His fingers were gripped tighter for only a short moment as the dark haired one looked into his eyes. It made Theodore wonder whether William felt the same as he did. He would never have dared asking him. “If there is anything I can do for you, please let me know?”
“Thank you, Detective...”
“Theodore is fine...” he interrupted, surprised at himself for even saying it, but the smile on the other's face made it all worth it. How a smile could make you all warm on the inside he had no idea, but apparently it was possible.
“Then thank you, Theodore...” he corrected himself and the warmth inside Theodore's stomach grew to max, forcing him to exhale quietly for some reason. “But I think, as long as no one form the police will come banging at my door, we will be fine. You really don't owe me anything. I am very glad you even came here to talk to me, I know that meeting me is something which is probably frowned upon where you live...”
“Really, I didn't mind... I have had a lovely time, considering we've been talking about how incredibly sad our lives have been so far...”
This made the dark haired one laugh. The sound was far from what Theodore had been expecting and he could do nothing but stare. There was something about that laugh, the smile and the way his eyes squinted just a little that made Theodore's heart beat painfully hard in his chest. It was as if William had not laughed in years and Theodore knew about it, as if he had been wishing to hear and see it for a long, long time without even realizing it himself. When the dark haired one eventually stopped, Theodore realized he was smiling like an idiot himself.
“I have a bad sense of humor...” William excused himself and dried a soft tear away from the corner of his eye. “I'm sorry... I'm embarrassing myself”
“You're really not...” Theodore assured. If anything, he would have made another joke just to get the man to laugh again.
“Well, I am glad that you feel I haven't been wasting your time...”
Theodore would have loved to answer this with the promise that the dark haired one had not at all wasted his time, but the two boys, who had been playing so nicely until now, were on their way to where they were standing and William became distracted immediately.
“Bruder!” the older one called as they got closer, the younger one holding his brother's hand tightly. His large eyes widened at the sight of Theodore and soon he was smiling largely while waving at him. Theodore's heart was aching for the little one again. He looked even dirtier than before... although, that could be because he had been out all day playing. “Gehen wir nach hause..?”
“We're going now, don't worry” William replied, in English though, to Theodore's relief. He had always found it slightly weird to stand with someone who spoke with another person in a language he did not understand. He was thankful the dark haired man seemed to realize this. “My brothers want to go home...” William then explained and even looked slightly sad of having to leave. “They need to get something to eat and warm themselves. I hope you don't mind?”
“No no” he quickly assured. “I need to be getting back too, and I need to talk to... Anthony as well”
William nodded and looked down at his siblings, love shining through his eyes as he did so. “Well...” he then said and looked back up at Theodore, his gaze still filled with that calm sense of emotion he had shown his brothers just now. “I am glad I met you, Theodore...”
“Likewise...”
“Will we see you again?” the youngest one inquired, his brows wrinkled as his eyes passed from him to his eldest brother and Theodore met William's eyes quickly, not knowing what to say. He knew they probably wouldn't, but should he really tell the kid that? The other man inhaled quickly, looking torn about the situation as well while biting down hard on his bottom lip. ”Will we..?”
“We'll see” Theodore nodded and smiled, kneeling in front of the little one. His slightly older brother, about the age of nine or maybe ten, looked at the two of them with confusion in his eyes. They had never met before, how could he understand why his little brother was so eager to meet this stranger again. “But you be good now, ok? Listen to your mom, and your brothers. Be good and I'll try and come see you some day, yeah?”
The boy nodded, seeming less convinced than what could have been hoped for, but eventually he smiled and stepped back with his brother, gripping his hand tightly again as they walked away down the dirt road. William smiled, sending Theodore a glance to the side as they watched the little ones leave. “Thank you” he said, softly. “I... still can't quite handle him when things like this happen. He reminds me so much of how his older brother was after Thomas...”
“Always asking when he was going to see Thomas again?”
“Yes...”
“Apparently I did that too” Theodore admitted and let his hand gently rest on the other's shoulder for a while, to show his support. “After my father passed away. It will pass, William... no matter how long it takes, one day the pain will be less apparent and you will be able to remember the good things instead of the bad”
“I hope you are right...”
And that was it.
Theodore made his way back to the trolley with his heart trembling strangely in his chest. He was both exhilarated and scared at the same time. He wanted to make sure Anthony knew about all of this, yet he was afraid that if he did tell his godfather what he had been told, he might put William and his family in more danger than they had ever been in. He didn't want anything to happen to those kids or their older brother, not to their parents either when it came down to that. And he certainly didn't want something to happen because of something he had done. As he stood and waited for the streetcar to arrive at the police station, his mind was wandering to those desperate brown eyes, closing his own to imagine them smiling towards him instead. William should be smiling more often. It did a lot for him...