(no subject)
Title: I fought the law...
Chapter: five of eight
Author: coooodes aka Billy
Word Count: 54,549 words
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: AU, violence, character death, antisemitism, homosexual insinuation
Pairings: Teddy/Billy
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the computer which I wrote this on.
masterpost
chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five chapter six chapter seven chapter eight
“So...” William smiled as they unloaded the heavy bag with coking coal from the back of the wagon, which came by at dawn, which Theodore had always found tiring until today when it was necessary for them to stay out of sight. “...what did my father talk to you about?”
Theodore grinned and lifted the coal into one of the large bags, making sure it wasn't broken and didn't answer until they were inside the house again, away from snooping ears and eyes. “He told me that if I hurt you, he would kill me”
“That sounds like my father alright...” the dark one replied and he sounded mortified, which only made Theodore laugh. Thankfully they were on their way down into the cellar already and his landlady couldn't have heard.
“You don't have to worry William” he continued after the bubbling laughter had died away and the cellar door was well shut behind their backs. “He didn't scare me away if that is what you think? It was more the other way around, to be honest...”
“How so?”
“He made me directly responsible for your wellbeing” he answered with a soft shrug but could see in the others eyes that William did not at all approve. “It is not that he doesn't trust you or that he feels you are weak, William... He doesn't trust me.”
“You don't seem to get it though” the other one replied while shaking his head as they tilted the coal into it's container. “My father always expects the best from everyone and if they cannot deliver it, he will think less of them until they have proven themselves otherwise. If he doesn't trust you, after everything you have done for his family, it is because he does not trust in my judgment to trust you in the first place. My father is a cleaver man, but he is stubborn and challenging, just like my brother was. I know his kind and I know how they work. It is because of my poor judgment and apparent weakness in his book that he is giving you a hard time... I'm sorry”
Theodore shook his head softly and wiped his blackened hands on the insides of his pocket before remembering that he brought a cloth, which he then handed to his friend to wipe off with instead. “You don't have to apologize to me” he then assured and let it be known with the gaze he sent the other that he truly meant that. “And if I am not mistaken, apologizing would be a sign of weakness too in your fathers books?” When William grinned slightly, Theodore dared continuing, knowing now that at least the other wasn't offended. “If it is true what you say, then it is your father that has issues, not you and not me. I will never judge you off what your father has told me and he will not make me doubt you. You have proven yourself time and time again to me and something someone else says, be it your father or my godfather, will not be enough to wipe out the trust I feel for you...”
“Thank you...”
“Don't thank me” he chuckled and gave the other a friendly pat on the shoulder before heading for the door with the same grin playing on his face. “...it shows a sign of weakness after all”
“Oh you little-...”
But steps in the stair outside the wooden door made William fall quiet immediately and Theodore's quickly withdrew his hand from the handle, which he had just reached. They stood in absolute silence for seconds, hardly breathing at all and the steps stopped. Theodore threw a quick glance back at his friend, the horror showing through those eyes, striking him hard in the pit of his stomach. He never wanted to see William that horrified again. He had promised himself he would...
“Mr Altman, is that you?” a woman's voice called out and his heart got immediately stuck in his throat as it beat so heard it could have made it out of his body the same way.
“Hide”
He didn't even know himself why this was his instinct, since he knew Cassandra and she might wonder why he did not respond when she must have heard him speak. But he couldn't risk her coming inside and seeing William there. Even though she might not intend to tell on him, she did talk to Anthony from time to time and could easily give away information about this incident. And when facing the facts, even though William and his entire family might be able to make it out of America, Theodore would still be left to fend for his career and credibility. Maybe even his life. His eyes met William's again, his heart racing. They had to hide.
He searched the small room, looking for a way out even though he knew there was none. His heart was beating so hard it felt as if though his chest would break and he swallowed three times just to get the rush of saliva out of his mouth.
“The lights...” he then managed to whisper and turned for the one light source in the room. “She doesn't like the dark... quickly”
William moved as told, cutting the light to leave them in almost complete darkness. He could hear the dark one breathe heavily and moved for him, grabbing him by the sleeve to get him out of the faint red light coming from the flushing coking coal. If she was to open the door, they couldn't stand too close to it either, since light form the stairway would shine straight in on them. He pulled the other one with him and tried not to gasp as he hit the wall with his back, not expecting to get there so soon but happy he had not been heading there head on.
“What are we...?” William asked, quietly at least, as he also arrived at the wall but stopped before he could bump into it. Theodore didn't answer immediately, instead he managed to get close to his companion, head turned back to see if she was opening the door, feeling his friend shifting from one leg to the other against him. He was warm, even soft. The thought was strange and very distracting and even though he tried his best to focus on not having a heart attack, it was hard not to think about it once noticed.
“If she finds you here, she might as well have ruined everything...” he mumbled, as an answer for the other's unfinished question and felt a surge of adrenaline through his body when he heard the handle being pushed down. “Stay close to the wall, please William....”
“Of course”
The door opened slowly and soft light seeped into the room, falling on the cold floor and the burner, but not on them. He could see her silhouette in the doorway and hear her call for him in the dark but still breathed out slowly, knowing that as long as she was alone, she wouldn't walk into the cellar when she knew she would have to cross the room to fetch the light.
William was tensed though, his fingers gripping at the fabric of Theodore's shirt almost as if he was a scared child, or maybe because he just felt safe like that, holding on to something he knew wouldn't budge. He turned his head back, half expecting to be met by those brown eyes gleaming through the darkness but he couldn't quite make out if William was actually looking his way or not. He could feel the other's breath against his skin again, which gave him goosebumps like never before. What was it with this man that made him feel this way? Made him shiver and smile, made him want to just sit and talk with him for hours and wish he wasn't just about to leave America forever? He felt such a strong urge to be even closer all of a sudden that when William finally turned his eyes towards him, their noses were close enough to nudge against one another.
Suddenly the door was close behind them and even though he could feel the other one relaxing, they didn't move for minutes. He might have told himself it was because you could never be sure if she was still listening outside the door or come back in again, but somewhere inside he knew that was not the whole truth. The warmth he felt from the other's chest was burning hot and the feel of those fingers digging into his shirt was even more distracting. They had never been standing this close before, at least not for this long amount of time.
“I...” William suddenly whispered and broke away, face turned to the floor and fingers letting go of Theodore's shirt. There was a cold rush of air between them as he moved his body and even though he really did not want to move, Theodore stepped back to let the other one breathe. “I'm sorry...” William then continued, for reasons unknown to him. “I have done this to you...”
“Done what to me?” he asked, unable to hide his surprise. There was something uncomfortable between them, but he couldn't possibly understand what kind of feeling it was. Instead of trying to figure it out, he walked over to the door and listened by it. She had left. “William, you haven't done anything to me. I can assure you of that, now come here and let's get back upstairs before someone finds out we're down here?”
William nodded silently and walked passed him with his eyes still turned to the floor. “I guess...” he mumbled, just high enough for Theodore's to hear but he suspected that had not been his friend's intention. It worried him a bit, this feeling that was steadily growing between them because he had no idea really what it could be. But he also worried because he knew that even though he wanted desperately to find out more about it, explore it and take it all in, there was not enough time and the little time they had once had... was quickly running out.
It only took them a couple of seconds after that to reach the door of his apartment and hurry inside, which was good, because as he was closing the door behind him, he heard Cassandra leaving her home and coming up the stairs after them.
“William” he said quickly and looked around the hall, his eyes meeting the dark ones of Mrs Kaplan and her two younger boys as well. “...we'll soon have company. I know we haven't spoken about what to do if someone would come knocking but...”
Before he even had time to finish his sentence, Mrs Kaplan had started grabbing things off of the floor. The boys had done the same and William had went for the window, opening it to let cold air into the apartment to rid of the shut in smell that only sets when too many people crowd a tiny space. The dark one gave Theodore a gaze which told him not to worry and all the blond one could do was stand there and stare in wonder. It seemed they had done this before. In only a matter of seconds, the living room area was nice and emptied of any trace that the Kaplan family had ever been there and the door closed behind Mrs Kaplan's back as she and her younger son's entered the bedroom to join her husband. William hesitated it seemed, eyes wandering the room as if searching for flaws in their cover up but when he found none, his eyes landed on Theodore instead. There was something in that gaze that made him want to just give everything up and go with them back to Germany, not caring whether or not the country would let him in or not. A part of him wished that he could just stay with this man for a bit longer, only so that he wouldn't lose all the things he had suddenly gained in the last couple of days. Their time had been short and messy, but worth it. He just wished there would have been more of it, a lot more.
“It'll be fine” the other finally whispered, at the same time as a soft knock was laid on the wood of the door. “I'll be in here the entire time, so wipe that look off your face, you look pathetic...” he then added with a grin and snuck into the room after his mother, leaving Theodore blushing with annoyance before realizing Cassandra was still at the door.
He tried not to seem very awake, ruffling his hair and unbuttoning a button on his sweater. He hoped she wouldn't notice the dark marks on his hands and sleeves, that had now been rolled up to cover them, from the coke he'd carried. As long as she didn't think about it, he would be fine and she would believe he had just gotten out of bed, which would not make her want to invite herself into his home. He took a deep breath and opened the door slowly, pretending the light from the lantern held outside was blinding him.
“Yes?”
“You've got a visitor” she smiled, not at all taken aback by the fact that he tried to play as tired and newly risen as possible. “He said it was urgent”
“Who is it?” his act was gone and his heart was in his throat. Had they found out? But if so, Anthony wouldn't have come himself, he would have sent all his best men to apprehend the Kaplan family, no matter if their protector was his godson or not. It wouldn't matter to him whether his best friend's son would end up in prison for protecting an innocent man and his family. Anthony Stark was not like that.
“I will go get him” she almost giggled and ran back down the stairs. Theodore threw a glance back into the apartment and bit down on his lip, eyes narrowing to try to see if you could spot anything out of the ordinary inside the darkness, but he could see nothing what so ever. Steps were heard in the stair again and he thought his heart might stop beating for all the strain he put it through, but it only kept on, beating harder than ever.
“Altman, sir”
The voice was soft and bright and Theodore recognized it with a smile on his face while his nerves calmed themselves. “Rogers, thank God it's you” he hurried and shook the man's hand as he joined him outside the apartment. Cassandra, who had followed the guest upstairs, looked surprised but happy, until she noticed Theodore's glance and excused herself before leaving them. “What are you doing here..?”
“Can we talk in private?”
Theodore didn't hesitate to let the man into his home, even though knowing he might not be trust worthy. He had figured that since Rogers was the one that had tipped him off about the raid against the Bowery and the Kaplan family, he must know by now that Theodore had helped them somehow. And that would mean, if he'd been less trust worthy, there would already be a policeman standing outside his door.
“Is something the matter?” he asked as he closed and locked the door behind their backs. The other man was looking around in the hallway, his eyes narrowing as if he was trying to see something which wasn't there.
“I...” he then started hesitantly and swallowed before continuing, eyes flickering back at him as he collected his courage to speak. “I have news, if you want it?”
“News?”
“Yes”
There was silence between them as Theodore waited for the other one t continue but as that never happened, he invited the man further into his apartment and offered him a cup of tea, which he refused. As he was sitting down, however, it seemed to be easier for him to talk.
“Mr Stark has ordered everyone to stay out of the Bowery until further notice” he started and twisted his thin hands in his lap. “It is dangerous he says, but I know for a fact he will not rest until he finds the boy and his family. I suspect you know where they are?” When Theodore did not answer, Rogers sighed. “You don't have to tell me, Altman, but you have to understand that this is bigger than you... I just wish to know if they are alright and out of his way?”
“They will be shortly, for now, they're in a safe place” he answered shortly and felt stupid for not being able to tell him more after what he was risking in coming here.
“Good, and please keep it that way” As Theodore nodded, the other relaxed further. “Mr Stark is convinced he knows where the Eastmans are at, but he won't tell anyone. He says it is best only he knows until further notice. If you ask me it is because he is afraid some of his beloved policemen will run over there to pick a fight...”
“Or maybe he wants to run over there himself and pick it?” At the remark those blue eyes widened and Rogers looked so shocked at this accusation that he seemed to have lost his words. “Don't tell me you haven't thought about it?”
Rogers shook his head and let his eyes drop quickly. “I haven't. But now that you say it, I guess that could be the reason. Only time will tell...” Silence fell again and Theodore felt slightly uncomfortable. Steven Rogers was probably that kind of man who looked up to people like Stark, just like Theodore was. Getting that faith and admiration torn away from you by doubt like just now might not be the good way to approach all this?
“I don't know” he finally said and scratched his neck with a smile. “I might be wrong. All I'm saying is that I don't know what's up or down anymore. I have made friends this week that I never thought of making before...”
“Like me?” the other one laughed nervously and the words made Theodore grin.
“You've been my friend for longer than a week though, haven't you?” he answered and reached out to gently tap the other one's shoulder. “Steven, you're a good friend and one day, I am sure you will become something great”
“One day...”
“Just think” he continued and met the other's melancholy smile. “You have the chance to change the world, just like all of us. The question is whether you will take that chance, or always stay at home when the battle cry roars...”
“You're saying there will be another riot?”
The question was sudden and he could feel his own eyes widening. He hadn't even paid that possibility a thought. “No” he answered firmly and even gave it a nod, seeming to calm the other one down from some inner turmoil. “No, there will be nothing... as long as Anthony, Mr Stark, withholds information from the police, he will control both them and the Eastmans... even without the gang knowing it. If he sees a spike in their activity, he can go after them or send someone. My only concern is to get the Kaplan family out of here before it's too late. Let us deal with criminals later?”
“Will they leave America then?”
“Yes” he nodded but could not withhold his sigh. “There is no other way for them to stay together as a family. I sure hope the little ones will manage the long trip...”
“I could get you provisions?” The half question struck a rush of feelings throughout Theodore's entire body and he could just look up in wonder. Why would a man, that was hardly involved, risk so much for someone he didn't know? Why would someone as insignificant as Steve Rogers, decide that he would help fugitives escape the country..? It didn't even occur to him that the same thought had struck William Kaplan, days ago about Theodore himself. “You cannot leave and buy food for them, it would seem very suspicious, but they would need food and lots of it to stay alive and healthy on the trip, wouldn't they? I could get it for you”
“Why would you do something like that...?”
“You said it yourself” the blond one smiled and straightened up in his chair, almost seeming to grow a few inches as he spoke, his eyes shining now. “I have all the same chances to change the world as you, Altman, and the only thing I haven't done before is taking them. I am doing what I can now, not to be a hero but to help someone that is in desperate need of it. If that means I will lose my job, someone should have to reevaluate their priorities, but it will not be me. My conscience will be clear.”
“And you would risk everything..?” Theodore couldn't stop himself from asking.
“I don't like what Mr Stark has become, truth be told” the other answered plainly and it almost made Theodore shiver. “He used to listen and think more than he does now. I remember when he used to speak about your father whenever he spoke to the others, tell stories about the two of them and what a wonderful man and policeman he had been. He always used to think about the consequences of apprehending someone before doing so, like in the case with the Kaplan family... a couple of years ago he would never have done such a thing as let his men interrogate and abuse a man from the slums like that...”
“You're saying he's changed since I started working for him?”
“Yes, but that might not at all be the reason...” Steven hurried and smiled vaguely. “...he is just different now. Something about the way he is has changed. Maybe he has started to fear for his own life and reputation after your father's memory has slowly died away? We all fear to die and be forgotten by the rest of the world, don't we?”
“Maybe...”
“All I know is...” the blond one continued and his smile died slowly. “...that I don't like bullies of any kind, no matter where they come from or who they used to be... if Mr Stark wants to bully the people of this city into a war, then it is his choice and his alone, no one is forcing us to be a part of it. But not doing anything at all is almost worse than helping him. I don't intend to be an accomplice in something I do not even believe in myself” With this, he stood up and reached his hand out for Theodore to shake it. “I am glad that I can trust you with this, Altman. You are a good friend and the Kaplans should be thanking the lord for having you on their side”
“And you as well, it seems?” Theodore smiled back and stood as well, clasping the other's hand firmly as he spoke. “If you still want to help us with provisions, we would be happy to accept”
“Just give me a date and time and I will be here with enough to last them the whole trip”
“Thank you, Steven. This really is a relief” he nodded and shook the other's hand once more, just to try and make him understand how much he really meant those words. “I am sure, if the Kaplan family was here, they would thank you even more”
“Give them my best wishes, will you? They deserve much better than this, I am sure”
“They really do”
He followed his friend to the door again, wondering slightly if he had noticed the soft sounds of conversation coming from the bedroom or if it was only him, who knew they were there, that had heard it? It didn't much matter though, since he believed Steven wouldn't give them all away as soon as he got into the office after this. He wanted to believe there would still be someone he could trust after he had lost William and his family. He was going to need it. Desperately.
“I will see you soon then” he said as he opened the door and flashed a soft smile back at his companion. Steven nodded and smiled as well, his eyes softly traveling over Theodore's shoulder and back into the dark apartment. Seeming to search for something, as if he had heard or seen something moved inside.
“Are they worth it, what we do for them?” he then asked, softly, as if not wanting anyone to over hear them. “I don't mean to offend anyone but I do not know them. Do you think it is worth risking everything for them?”
“I do” Theodore answered without hesitation and could almost feel William moving behind him even before he heard his footsteps and felt his slimmed fingers close around his shoulder.
“And we're so very grateful for that, Theodore, Mr Rogers” he said, his voice bright and his smile sincere. There was still black spots of coking coal on his cheeks from where he had wiped his skin with the back of his hand, but he looked cleaner than ever with the newly washed clothes he had borrowed from Theodore's wardrobe. Steven's eyes had widened, blue orbs tracing the outlining of the dark one's still bruised face and jaw.
“You... you don't need to...” he then started, almost stuttering before he gently bowed his head in a greeting gesture and chuckled nervously. “It is nice to finally see your face without blood on it, I must say”
“Did you listen to everything we said?” Theodore grinned, pretending as if this wasn't at all awkward or strange, all of them talking like this in the doorway to his home. “You know, I wouldn't take you to be the snooping kind?”
“What can I say” the dark one replied and leaned his weight slightly against Theodore's strong frame, but only enough for him to feel it, not enough for Steven to be able to notice. “I am what this city calls a rat, aren't I?”
“He would make a fine policeman, this one” the blond one chuckled and met Theodore's eyes, as if wondering if that was something he was allowed to say, at which Theodore couldn't stop himself from laughing.
“He probably would”
As Steven was heading downstairs, Theodore closed the door firmly and made sure it was locked before turning back to his friend, eying him closely before breaking the silence between them. “I thought you said we should lie low, not talk to people who come visit me?”
“Not that he didn't already know we were here?” the other replied and sighed, his smile slowly dying as he realized he might have handled this the wrong way. “I thought you said you trusted him..?”
“I do” he nodded back and sighed while rubbing his temple. “But you can never be too certain about who you tell and what you tell them. It is one thing that he knows I am helping you, but as long as he wasn't sure where you were, you would have a chance if he decided to betray my trust. I would have been in trouble, but you would have made it out safely...”
“I wouldn't have left you if I knew you were in trouble...”
“Well you might have to William. Because I honestly do not know how I will get out of this mess if my godfather was to find out I had something to do with your escape...” He breathed in deeply as he had spoken and immediately regretted even saying it when he saw the devastated look on the other's face. “Look. I don't regret helping you William. Please don't take it the wrong way... I just don't see how you could want to stay here, with me, knowing that I might be sentenced to prison for the rest of my life for helping fugitives of the law, or even worse. I do trust Rogers, with my life if I have to, but if he was put under a lot of pressure, I am not sure how long he would be able to hold out until breaking. He is not the strongest in the bunch, as you might have understood...”
“But that means you don't trust him. Not really...”
“Why would you even say that?”
“Listen to yourself Theodore. You say you trust him, yet you would not do so if he was put under pressure. I constantly say we need to be careful but still invite him into your home where my family is hiding and then lecture me about not being careful enough...” William answered, trying hard not to raise his voice it seemed. “...you talk about trust, but still don't dare doing it yourself. You speak of what will happen when we leave here, and still will not listen when I tell you I'm not going. Honestly Theodore, how do you expect me to take you seriously when you say I am about the only person you feel you can trust for real, when it is obviously not so?”
“I do trust you...” he quickly tried but it sounded less believable than he had intended. “..and him. You have to believe me when I tell you that.”
“I have to? How? It's not like you've proven it to me? You lecture me Theodore, as if I was a child. But see, I am not. I have been lectured all my life about not being mature enough, about not realizing my responsibility or about crying over my dead brother at night, because boys don't cry. I am tired of constantly thinking about how people are going to lecture me next. So don't you do it too...” he stopped abruptly and turned away, his face quickly shadowed so that it was impossible for Theodore to see his eyes. “I trust you Theodore, I really do. And I think it is about time you show me you trust me too...”
“How can I do that..? I really didn't mean to upset you...”
“I know I just...” There was silence and a sigh left the other, which made Theodore want to reach out for him, hold him close and comfort him in any way he possibly could. But he refrained from doing so, without even understanding why. “...I want to be here for you, no matter if your world crashes or not. I am done with running away, done with losing those important to me. If you do trust me, let me stay? Let me be here... At least for a while longer?”
“Alright... stay with me”
As William turned again, there were tears in his eyes, and even though he was smiling, the sight tore its way straight into Theodore's heart and broke his facade into pieces. There was nothing he wouldn't do for him now, nothing he wouldn't say or fight against. He didn't care anymore about what was happening around them. If only for a second, the only thing he saw, was him.
“Thank you...”
There was sound suddenly coming from the kitchen and Theodore's heart jumped frantically, in that way it always does when you think someone will find out you're doing something you're not allowed to do. Like cleaning out the cookie jar when your mother is out shopping and suddenly she's standing there, looking at you with your mouth surrounded by deceitful little cookie crumbs. William smiled a little and wiped his cheeks quickly, making himself smear the dark spots even more but Theodore didn't tell him. He looked adorable like that way anyway, he really did.
“Maybe we should get back there and help her with some food?” the dark one then smiled and Theodore agreed. There was no telling what would happen if they stayed in the hallway any longer. He had been thinking too much and was beginning to fear what he might actually be capable of doing around this man. Only the soft brush of William's hand against his own made his body react in ways he didn't recognize and didn't much enjoy. He couldn't possibly ignore it now, when they were side by side, left the narrow hallway and stepped into the kitchen, soft skin against his fingertips. Was he doing it on purpose though? He couldn't be... could he?
When they had helped Mrs Kaplan clean the kitchen and make some food from what little there was left in Theodore's cabin's and such, they ate in silence, pretending nothing had just happened even though they both could have been responsible for the exposure of their plan and the hideout of the entire Kaplan family. William's father said nothing either but Theodore could see it in his eyes, that he was eager to know what had just happened but still angry that it had not been according to plan. As soon as Mrs Kaplan followed her younger boys into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her, the older man leaned across the table and made deep eye contact with his son.
“William” he started, his voice stern but calm, the way you talk when you're really mad at someone but still love them enough not to blow up in their face. “I told you not to leave that room, what if we had been discovered?”
“I told you, we already were discovered” his son replied calmly and threw Theodore a quick glance, as if requesting back up in his argument for it not to be invalid. “The man knew that Theodore had helped us, father, he wanted to know we were safe...”
“And how can you trust that he is not lying?” came the quick response, angrier now. “You might know how to read people well, I taught you after all. But there was a door between you, the only thing you could tell was the pitch of his voice? How could you possibly trust the word of someone you can't even see, who says that even though he works for your enemy he wants to help you?”
“I trust him because Theodore does” William answered plainly and Theodore felt his entire chest burn with proud warmth by those words. Maybe the other's father might not accept it as reason enough, but it felt good to know William even dared going against his father only by trusting him as much as he did. “For me, that is reason enough”
The older one's eyes now traveled to him and Theodore met them head on, knowing there was absolutely no need to shy away now. “I trust him” he said, even before the other had opened his mouth to ask if he did. “He was the one who told me about the raid against your home. If he had wanted me to go down with you, the police would have been here hours ago, since after tipping me off, me must have known I told you about it so that you could flee. He is a good man and he wants to help. Make no mistake about this...”
“Did he see my son?”
The question seemed forced, almost as if though he had not been wanting to doubt Theodore's words but was still just as worried about his son and family than he had been just before and therefore could not risk it. William was wrinkling his forehead, probably knowing that there would be some kind of punishment for his actions even if he had not necessarily done something wrong. Theodore sighed and took his eyes off of him, smiling back at the older one gently. “No, he didn't” he then lied and hoped his friend wouldn't react too much to it, blowing their cover. “I don't know what William had planned on doing if he did, but as it was, my friend had the time to leave before your son snuck up on me... But I can assure you, there would have been no trouble for you if my friend had in fact seen him. He cares for people, you see.”
Mr Kaplan breathed out but shook his head, his eyes not traveling back to William, who was still bowing his head down without seeming to react much to the lie at all. “I understand, but in the eye of this society...” the man spoke and kept his eyes straight on Theodore's, which was unnerving beyond reason. “...we are not seen as people”
“Maybe not by the rest of society” Theodore agreed, even though it pained him to do so. “But to him you are more than just rats and pest. He knows what it is like to be left out, to be seen as something smaller than what he is at heart, he knows the feeling of broken hopes and wasted dreams... If you should trust anyone else than me in this entire city, it is him, sir. I know that you are worried about the welfare of your family, but so am I. I would not jeopardize all you have done to survive, and I believe that neither would my friend”
“With all due respect, Theodore” the older one said, sounding important even though the annoyance was visible throughout his entire face. “Your friend is a policeman, and I know all about them... or at least to know that they're all alike”
At this, Theodore had had enough and stood up from his chair, not even caring if it was childish of him to walk away from this. Mr Kaplan knew perfectly well that he was a policeman as well. Why he would say such a thing in front of him bothered him more because of the fact that he knew, not because this was a lie or anything like it. The older one knew and yet he kept on insulting everything Theodore had ever believed in, as if he was trying to provoke him into doing something drastic to prove to him and his family that even Theodore was like all the others; brutal and evil.
“Don't forget who you're talking to, Sir” he then said calmly, not looking back at the man and ignoring the bewildered look William was sending him. “Policemen might be what you say they are, all of them even, but we still have feelings and I, for one, like to be shown the same respect I show others, no matter what their rang are or their social standing point.” He shoved his chair softly in against the table and left them, already buttoning his coat when William caught up to him in the hallway.
“He didn't mean it like that...” the dark one tried. It bothered him that that was the first thing he said, not asking why he got upset about it or even seeming to care that his father had just insulted his friend. But Theodore chose not to even comment on it and kept on buttoning, even though his fingers were almost shaking. “Please don't make anything rash... I know you're upset and he had no right to say that to you, but you can't...”
“I won't run to the station and tell them you're here, if that's what you're implying?”
William looked ashamed as Theodore met his eyes and only seconds later the dark one looked away. “I didn't mean that...” he replied, his voice weak again. Why was it that he couldn't stand up for himself when someone was angry with him? He had done nothing wrong, not really. But still he seemed to be the one taking the blame for what his father had done. “...I don't want you to give up on us...”
“Why would I do that?” As he asked, he was incapable of keeping the surprise out of his voice. “This... this wouldn't affect the way I feel about helping you or your family..?”
“But it could have...” William sighed and leaned back against the wall, eyes trailing the buttons on Theodore's coat, as if trying to see what the odds were of him taking it off again. “...He doesn't think and he says things that are hurtful. He's been very much like that towards me as well and every time he does it I feel like running away and never coming back, no matter how much my brothers need me...” He paused and Theodore turned his eyes away, unable to look back into those brown eyes when knowing what was coming. “...but I didn't run, Theodore, I stayed because I was needed. So I don't want you to leave, not when you're feeling like this... because no matter how much I trust you, you never know what you might be tempted into doing when your mind is in this state. You're angry and hurt, you couldn't make me believe differently no matter how hard you'd try, but it will be alright... as long as you don't step out through that door and let your feet and feelings guide you. Please... Stay here, you don't need to speak to him, we can sit by the window in the bedroom and just be, the two of us... for as long as you need”
He didn't know what to answer to that. Everything he could come to think of as a counter argument seemed invalid next to the other's words and eventually he had to admit that his reaction had been a bit more childish than he had wanted it to seem like. He really was not used to having someone like Mr Kaplan around... even though he suspected he must have the same kind of authority in his voice as his own father had had, while still being alive.
He sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes with his rough thumbs, breathing in deeply while trying to calm himself down further. He sometimes had difficulty pushing insults or remarks away, even though they were not even meant for him to begin with. He suspected he had inherited his temper from his father, but when asking his mother about it, she had always only smiled and pulled her fingers through his hair in a dreamy way. She missed the man so much she even longed for his temper?
William was smiling, Theodore could tell by the way his breathing changed from the deep sighs to soft intakes of air. “Don't look as if the world has already ended...” then came the soft remark and he couldn't help but relax and smile a bit himself when slimmed fingers unbuttoned his coat for him. “...I told you, you don't have to speak to him and it's perfectly fine for you to be upset, but at least try and think of something else? Let's go watch people down on the street, pretend we know them or something...”
“I'm sorry for being such a temperamental child...” he could only sigh and nodded a soft thank you when his friend hung his coat back up by the door.
“My brother was just like that too” William smiled back and even though there was that soft glimmer of sadness in his eyes momentarily, he still looked happier than Theodore had ever seen him when talking about his late brother. “So don't worry. I know how to handle men like you...” At this, he softly grabbed Theodore by the arm and pulled him back into the apartment. The boys were back in the living room, playing with some old toys they seemed to have brought along with them from their old home. Mr and Mrs Kaplan were sitting by the table, deep in conversation and not seeming to notice at all when the two younger men passed them by. The dark haired one closed the door softly behind them both and then smiled back at Theodore, who was already seating himself by the window as they had said.
“See?” William said as he joined him, eyes bright and clear, deep as dark wells. “You didn't have to say a word, or even look at him. Now it's only the part where it's only the two of us left, right? That part I think you will be able to handle, yes?”
“Not without you...” Theodore mumbled slightly and was happy the other one seemed not to have heard. They sat there for almost an hour, just looking out at the people on the street, who seemed too busy with early morning activities to notice the two of them behind the glass. Theodore felt strangely at ease, even though he knew someone might see them. It was not like anyone down there knew anything about what they had been through or cared about anyone else's life but their own anyway. As the hour had passed however, he started yawning uncontrollably and soon his friend hand almost forced him into bed, with clothes and all still on.
“I will tell my father what you told me, about your friend and what he has offered to do...” William smiled and pulled the blanket up over Theodore's slightly chilled body. It was only now that he realized just how tired he had been ever since they had carried the coking coal down to the burner. “...you rest, and we will talk when you've rested long enough to be able to be yourself again. Deal?” Theodore could only mumble back before he drifted off, a soft smile lingering on his lips. “You sleep now...”
...
Theodore remembered waking up a couple of times during the day, once to hear the angry voices of his tenants as they were discussing something in German which he was too tired to listen to even though it could have meant the exposure of their whereabouts. Another time he woke because Mrs Kaplan was packing up their belongings but she quickly hushed him back to sleep and stroked his hair, much like his own mother had done when he was younger. The last time he woke was when William crawled to bed next to him, his body trembling from tiredness and cold as he nuzzled close to Theodore's warm back, resting his forehead against his shirt as if to try and draw some of his warmth to him.
He lay there for a while and wondered if he should turn and talk to him, let him know that he was awake and that if he wanted to, he could have some more of the blanket. But when he finally turned, William was already sleeping soundly, fingertips gripping after the shirt he had been holding on to. Theodore smiled and took those cold fingers in his warm hands instead, shoving them close to his chest before closing his eyes again. The least he could do was warm them for the other. You never sleep well if your feet or fingers are cold after all. Right before drifting off again, he felt cold toes sneaking up against his leg as William curled into a tight bundle next to his body. The chill rushed all the way from his calf to the back of his neck but he didn't mind. He was warm enough to sleep anyway.
Chapter: five of eight
Author: coooodes aka Billy
Word Count: 54,549 words
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: AU, violence, character death, antisemitism, homosexual insinuation
Pairings: Teddy/Billy
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the computer which I wrote this on.
masterpost
chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five chapter six chapter seven chapter eight
“So...” William smiled as they unloaded the heavy bag with coking coal from the back of the wagon, which came by at dawn, which Theodore had always found tiring until today when it was necessary for them to stay out of sight. “...what did my father talk to you about?”
Theodore grinned and lifted the coal into one of the large bags, making sure it wasn't broken and didn't answer until they were inside the house again, away from snooping ears and eyes. “He told me that if I hurt you, he would kill me”
“That sounds like my father alright...” the dark one replied and he sounded mortified, which only made Theodore laugh. Thankfully they were on their way down into the cellar already and his landlady couldn't have heard.
“You don't have to worry William” he continued after the bubbling laughter had died away and the cellar door was well shut behind their backs. “He didn't scare me away if that is what you think? It was more the other way around, to be honest...”
“How so?”
“He made me directly responsible for your wellbeing” he answered with a soft shrug but could see in the others eyes that William did not at all approve. “It is not that he doesn't trust you or that he feels you are weak, William... He doesn't trust me.”
“You don't seem to get it though” the other one replied while shaking his head as they tilted the coal into it's container. “My father always expects the best from everyone and if they cannot deliver it, he will think less of them until they have proven themselves otherwise. If he doesn't trust you, after everything you have done for his family, it is because he does not trust in my judgment to trust you in the first place. My father is a cleaver man, but he is stubborn and challenging, just like my brother was. I know his kind and I know how they work. It is because of my poor judgment and apparent weakness in his book that he is giving you a hard time... I'm sorry”
Theodore shook his head softly and wiped his blackened hands on the insides of his pocket before remembering that he brought a cloth, which he then handed to his friend to wipe off with instead. “You don't have to apologize to me” he then assured and let it be known with the gaze he sent the other that he truly meant that. “And if I am not mistaken, apologizing would be a sign of weakness too in your fathers books?” When William grinned slightly, Theodore dared continuing, knowing now that at least the other wasn't offended. “If it is true what you say, then it is your father that has issues, not you and not me. I will never judge you off what your father has told me and he will not make me doubt you. You have proven yourself time and time again to me and something someone else says, be it your father or my godfather, will not be enough to wipe out the trust I feel for you...”
“Thank you...”
“Don't thank me” he chuckled and gave the other a friendly pat on the shoulder before heading for the door with the same grin playing on his face. “...it shows a sign of weakness after all”
“Oh you little-...”
But steps in the stair outside the wooden door made William fall quiet immediately and Theodore's quickly withdrew his hand from the handle, which he had just reached. They stood in absolute silence for seconds, hardly breathing at all and the steps stopped. Theodore threw a quick glance back at his friend, the horror showing through those eyes, striking him hard in the pit of his stomach. He never wanted to see William that horrified again. He had promised himself he would...
“Mr Altman, is that you?” a woman's voice called out and his heart got immediately stuck in his throat as it beat so heard it could have made it out of his body the same way.
“Hide”
He didn't even know himself why this was his instinct, since he knew Cassandra and she might wonder why he did not respond when she must have heard him speak. But he couldn't risk her coming inside and seeing William there. Even though she might not intend to tell on him, she did talk to Anthony from time to time and could easily give away information about this incident. And when facing the facts, even though William and his entire family might be able to make it out of America, Theodore would still be left to fend for his career and credibility. Maybe even his life. His eyes met William's again, his heart racing. They had to hide.
He searched the small room, looking for a way out even though he knew there was none. His heart was beating so hard it felt as if though his chest would break and he swallowed three times just to get the rush of saliva out of his mouth.
“The lights...” he then managed to whisper and turned for the one light source in the room. “She doesn't like the dark... quickly”
William moved as told, cutting the light to leave them in almost complete darkness. He could hear the dark one breathe heavily and moved for him, grabbing him by the sleeve to get him out of the faint red light coming from the flushing coking coal. If she was to open the door, they couldn't stand too close to it either, since light form the stairway would shine straight in on them. He pulled the other one with him and tried not to gasp as he hit the wall with his back, not expecting to get there so soon but happy he had not been heading there head on.
“What are we...?” William asked, quietly at least, as he also arrived at the wall but stopped before he could bump into it. Theodore didn't answer immediately, instead he managed to get close to his companion, head turned back to see if she was opening the door, feeling his friend shifting from one leg to the other against him. He was warm, even soft. The thought was strange and very distracting and even though he tried his best to focus on not having a heart attack, it was hard not to think about it once noticed.
“If she finds you here, she might as well have ruined everything...” he mumbled, as an answer for the other's unfinished question and felt a surge of adrenaline through his body when he heard the handle being pushed down. “Stay close to the wall, please William....”
“Of course”
The door opened slowly and soft light seeped into the room, falling on the cold floor and the burner, but not on them. He could see her silhouette in the doorway and hear her call for him in the dark but still breathed out slowly, knowing that as long as she was alone, she wouldn't walk into the cellar when she knew she would have to cross the room to fetch the light.
William was tensed though, his fingers gripping at the fabric of Theodore's shirt almost as if he was a scared child, or maybe because he just felt safe like that, holding on to something he knew wouldn't budge. He turned his head back, half expecting to be met by those brown eyes gleaming through the darkness but he couldn't quite make out if William was actually looking his way or not. He could feel the other's breath against his skin again, which gave him goosebumps like never before. What was it with this man that made him feel this way? Made him shiver and smile, made him want to just sit and talk with him for hours and wish he wasn't just about to leave America forever? He felt such a strong urge to be even closer all of a sudden that when William finally turned his eyes towards him, their noses were close enough to nudge against one another.
Suddenly the door was close behind them and even though he could feel the other one relaxing, they didn't move for minutes. He might have told himself it was because you could never be sure if she was still listening outside the door or come back in again, but somewhere inside he knew that was not the whole truth. The warmth he felt from the other's chest was burning hot and the feel of those fingers digging into his shirt was even more distracting. They had never been standing this close before, at least not for this long amount of time.
“I...” William suddenly whispered and broke away, face turned to the floor and fingers letting go of Theodore's shirt. There was a cold rush of air between them as he moved his body and even though he really did not want to move, Theodore stepped back to let the other one breathe. “I'm sorry...” William then continued, for reasons unknown to him. “I have done this to you...”
“Done what to me?” he asked, unable to hide his surprise. There was something uncomfortable between them, but he couldn't possibly understand what kind of feeling it was. Instead of trying to figure it out, he walked over to the door and listened by it. She had left. “William, you haven't done anything to me. I can assure you of that, now come here and let's get back upstairs before someone finds out we're down here?”
William nodded silently and walked passed him with his eyes still turned to the floor. “I guess...” he mumbled, just high enough for Theodore's to hear but he suspected that had not been his friend's intention. It worried him a bit, this feeling that was steadily growing between them because he had no idea really what it could be. But he also worried because he knew that even though he wanted desperately to find out more about it, explore it and take it all in, there was not enough time and the little time they had once had... was quickly running out.
It only took them a couple of seconds after that to reach the door of his apartment and hurry inside, which was good, because as he was closing the door behind him, he heard Cassandra leaving her home and coming up the stairs after them.
“William” he said quickly and looked around the hall, his eyes meeting the dark ones of Mrs Kaplan and her two younger boys as well. “...we'll soon have company. I know we haven't spoken about what to do if someone would come knocking but...”
Before he even had time to finish his sentence, Mrs Kaplan had started grabbing things off of the floor. The boys had done the same and William had went for the window, opening it to let cold air into the apartment to rid of the shut in smell that only sets when too many people crowd a tiny space. The dark one gave Theodore a gaze which told him not to worry and all the blond one could do was stand there and stare in wonder. It seemed they had done this before. In only a matter of seconds, the living room area was nice and emptied of any trace that the Kaplan family had ever been there and the door closed behind Mrs Kaplan's back as she and her younger son's entered the bedroom to join her husband. William hesitated it seemed, eyes wandering the room as if searching for flaws in their cover up but when he found none, his eyes landed on Theodore instead. There was something in that gaze that made him want to just give everything up and go with them back to Germany, not caring whether or not the country would let him in or not. A part of him wished that he could just stay with this man for a bit longer, only so that he wouldn't lose all the things he had suddenly gained in the last couple of days. Their time had been short and messy, but worth it. He just wished there would have been more of it, a lot more.
“It'll be fine” the other finally whispered, at the same time as a soft knock was laid on the wood of the door. “I'll be in here the entire time, so wipe that look off your face, you look pathetic...” he then added with a grin and snuck into the room after his mother, leaving Theodore blushing with annoyance before realizing Cassandra was still at the door.
He tried not to seem very awake, ruffling his hair and unbuttoning a button on his sweater. He hoped she wouldn't notice the dark marks on his hands and sleeves, that had now been rolled up to cover them, from the coke he'd carried. As long as she didn't think about it, he would be fine and she would believe he had just gotten out of bed, which would not make her want to invite herself into his home. He took a deep breath and opened the door slowly, pretending the light from the lantern held outside was blinding him.
“Yes?”
“You've got a visitor” she smiled, not at all taken aback by the fact that he tried to play as tired and newly risen as possible. “He said it was urgent”
“Who is it?” his act was gone and his heart was in his throat. Had they found out? But if so, Anthony wouldn't have come himself, he would have sent all his best men to apprehend the Kaplan family, no matter if their protector was his godson or not. It wouldn't matter to him whether his best friend's son would end up in prison for protecting an innocent man and his family. Anthony Stark was not like that.
“I will go get him” she almost giggled and ran back down the stairs. Theodore threw a glance back into the apartment and bit down on his lip, eyes narrowing to try to see if you could spot anything out of the ordinary inside the darkness, but he could see nothing what so ever. Steps were heard in the stair again and he thought his heart might stop beating for all the strain he put it through, but it only kept on, beating harder than ever.
“Altman, sir”
The voice was soft and bright and Theodore recognized it with a smile on his face while his nerves calmed themselves. “Rogers, thank God it's you” he hurried and shook the man's hand as he joined him outside the apartment. Cassandra, who had followed the guest upstairs, looked surprised but happy, until she noticed Theodore's glance and excused herself before leaving them. “What are you doing here..?”
“Can we talk in private?”
Theodore didn't hesitate to let the man into his home, even though knowing he might not be trust worthy. He had figured that since Rogers was the one that had tipped him off about the raid against the Bowery and the Kaplan family, he must know by now that Theodore had helped them somehow. And that would mean, if he'd been less trust worthy, there would already be a policeman standing outside his door.
“Is something the matter?” he asked as he closed and locked the door behind their backs. The other man was looking around in the hallway, his eyes narrowing as if he was trying to see something which wasn't there.
“I...” he then started hesitantly and swallowed before continuing, eyes flickering back at him as he collected his courage to speak. “I have news, if you want it?”
“News?”
“Yes”
There was silence between them as Theodore waited for the other one t continue but as that never happened, he invited the man further into his apartment and offered him a cup of tea, which he refused. As he was sitting down, however, it seemed to be easier for him to talk.
“Mr Stark has ordered everyone to stay out of the Bowery until further notice” he started and twisted his thin hands in his lap. “It is dangerous he says, but I know for a fact he will not rest until he finds the boy and his family. I suspect you know where they are?” When Theodore did not answer, Rogers sighed. “You don't have to tell me, Altman, but you have to understand that this is bigger than you... I just wish to know if they are alright and out of his way?”
“They will be shortly, for now, they're in a safe place” he answered shortly and felt stupid for not being able to tell him more after what he was risking in coming here.
“Good, and please keep it that way” As Theodore nodded, the other relaxed further. “Mr Stark is convinced he knows where the Eastmans are at, but he won't tell anyone. He says it is best only he knows until further notice. If you ask me it is because he is afraid some of his beloved policemen will run over there to pick a fight...”
“Or maybe he wants to run over there himself and pick it?” At the remark those blue eyes widened and Rogers looked so shocked at this accusation that he seemed to have lost his words. “Don't tell me you haven't thought about it?”
Rogers shook his head and let his eyes drop quickly. “I haven't. But now that you say it, I guess that could be the reason. Only time will tell...” Silence fell again and Theodore felt slightly uncomfortable. Steven Rogers was probably that kind of man who looked up to people like Stark, just like Theodore was. Getting that faith and admiration torn away from you by doubt like just now might not be the good way to approach all this?
“I don't know” he finally said and scratched his neck with a smile. “I might be wrong. All I'm saying is that I don't know what's up or down anymore. I have made friends this week that I never thought of making before...”
“Like me?” the other one laughed nervously and the words made Theodore grin.
“You've been my friend for longer than a week though, haven't you?” he answered and reached out to gently tap the other one's shoulder. “Steven, you're a good friend and one day, I am sure you will become something great”
“One day...”
“Just think” he continued and met the other's melancholy smile. “You have the chance to change the world, just like all of us. The question is whether you will take that chance, or always stay at home when the battle cry roars...”
“You're saying there will be another riot?”
The question was sudden and he could feel his own eyes widening. He hadn't even paid that possibility a thought. “No” he answered firmly and even gave it a nod, seeming to calm the other one down from some inner turmoil. “No, there will be nothing... as long as Anthony, Mr Stark, withholds information from the police, he will control both them and the Eastmans... even without the gang knowing it. If he sees a spike in their activity, he can go after them or send someone. My only concern is to get the Kaplan family out of here before it's too late. Let us deal with criminals later?”
“Will they leave America then?”
“Yes” he nodded but could not withhold his sigh. “There is no other way for them to stay together as a family. I sure hope the little ones will manage the long trip...”
“I could get you provisions?” The half question struck a rush of feelings throughout Theodore's entire body and he could just look up in wonder. Why would a man, that was hardly involved, risk so much for someone he didn't know? Why would someone as insignificant as Steve Rogers, decide that he would help fugitives escape the country..? It didn't even occur to him that the same thought had struck William Kaplan, days ago about Theodore himself. “You cannot leave and buy food for them, it would seem very suspicious, but they would need food and lots of it to stay alive and healthy on the trip, wouldn't they? I could get it for you”
“Why would you do something like that...?”
“You said it yourself” the blond one smiled and straightened up in his chair, almost seeming to grow a few inches as he spoke, his eyes shining now. “I have all the same chances to change the world as you, Altman, and the only thing I haven't done before is taking them. I am doing what I can now, not to be a hero but to help someone that is in desperate need of it. If that means I will lose my job, someone should have to reevaluate their priorities, but it will not be me. My conscience will be clear.”
“And you would risk everything..?” Theodore couldn't stop himself from asking.
“I don't like what Mr Stark has become, truth be told” the other answered plainly and it almost made Theodore shiver. “He used to listen and think more than he does now. I remember when he used to speak about your father whenever he spoke to the others, tell stories about the two of them and what a wonderful man and policeman he had been. He always used to think about the consequences of apprehending someone before doing so, like in the case with the Kaplan family... a couple of years ago he would never have done such a thing as let his men interrogate and abuse a man from the slums like that...”
“You're saying he's changed since I started working for him?”
“Yes, but that might not at all be the reason...” Steven hurried and smiled vaguely. “...he is just different now. Something about the way he is has changed. Maybe he has started to fear for his own life and reputation after your father's memory has slowly died away? We all fear to die and be forgotten by the rest of the world, don't we?”
“Maybe...”
“All I know is...” the blond one continued and his smile died slowly. “...that I don't like bullies of any kind, no matter where they come from or who they used to be... if Mr Stark wants to bully the people of this city into a war, then it is his choice and his alone, no one is forcing us to be a part of it. But not doing anything at all is almost worse than helping him. I don't intend to be an accomplice in something I do not even believe in myself” With this, he stood up and reached his hand out for Theodore to shake it. “I am glad that I can trust you with this, Altman. You are a good friend and the Kaplans should be thanking the lord for having you on their side”
“And you as well, it seems?” Theodore smiled back and stood as well, clasping the other's hand firmly as he spoke. “If you still want to help us with provisions, we would be happy to accept”
“Just give me a date and time and I will be here with enough to last them the whole trip”
“Thank you, Steven. This really is a relief” he nodded and shook the other's hand once more, just to try and make him understand how much he really meant those words. “I am sure, if the Kaplan family was here, they would thank you even more”
“Give them my best wishes, will you? They deserve much better than this, I am sure”
“They really do”
He followed his friend to the door again, wondering slightly if he had noticed the soft sounds of conversation coming from the bedroom or if it was only him, who knew they were there, that had heard it? It didn't much matter though, since he believed Steven wouldn't give them all away as soon as he got into the office after this. He wanted to believe there would still be someone he could trust after he had lost William and his family. He was going to need it. Desperately.
“I will see you soon then” he said as he opened the door and flashed a soft smile back at his companion. Steven nodded and smiled as well, his eyes softly traveling over Theodore's shoulder and back into the dark apartment. Seeming to search for something, as if he had heard or seen something moved inside.
“Are they worth it, what we do for them?” he then asked, softly, as if not wanting anyone to over hear them. “I don't mean to offend anyone but I do not know them. Do you think it is worth risking everything for them?”
“I do” Theodore answered without hesitation and could almost feel William moving behind him even before he heard his footsteps and felt his slimmed fingers close around his shoulder.
“And we're so very grateful for that, Theodore, Mr Rogers” he said, his voice bright and his smile sincere. There was still black spots of coking coal on his cheeks from where he had wiped his skin with the back of his hand, but he looked cleaner than ever with the newly washed clothes he had borrowed from Theodore's wardrobe. Steven's eyes had widened, blue orbs tracing the outlining of the dark one's still bruised face and jaw.
“You... you don't need to...” he then started, almost stuttering before he gently bowed his head in a greeting gesture and chuckled nervously. “It is nice to finally see your face without blood on it, I must say”
“Did you listen to everything we said?” Theodore grinned, pretending as if this wasn't at all awkward or strange, all of them talking like this in the doorway to his home. “You know, I wouldn't take you to be the snooping kind?”
“What can I say” the dark one replied and leaned his weight slightly against Theodore's strong frame, but only enough for him to feel it, not enough for Steven to be able to notice. “I am what this city calls a rat, aren't I?”
“He would make a fine policeman, this one” the blond one chuckled and met Theodore's eyes, as if wondering if that was something he was allowed to say, at which Theodore couldn't stop himself from laughing.
“He probably would”
As Steven was heading downstairs, Theodore closed the door firmly and made sure it was locked before turning back to his friend, eying him closely before breaking the silence between them. “I thought you said we should lie low, not talk to people who come visit me?”
“Not that he didn't already know we were here?” the other replied and sighed, his smile slowly dying as he realized he might have handled this the wrong way. “I thought you said you trusted him..?”
“I do” he nodded back and sighed while rubbing his temple. “But you can never be too certain about who you tell and what you tell them. It is one thing that he knows I am helping you, but as long as he wasn't sure where you were, you would have a chance if he decided to betray my trust. I would have been in trouble, but you would have made it out safely...”
“I wouldn't have left you if I knew you were in trouble...”
“Well you might have to William. Because I honestly do not know how I will get out of this mess if my godfather was to find out I had something to do with your escape...” He breathed in deeply as he had spoken and immediately regretted even saying it when he saw the devastated look on the other's face. “Look. I don't regret helping you William. Please don't take it the wrong way... I just don't see how you could want to stay here, with me, knowing that I might be sentenced to prison for the rest of my life for helping fugitives of the law, or even worse. I do trust Rogers, with my life if I have to, but if he was put under a lot of pressure, I am not sure how long he would be able to hold out until breaking. He is not the strongest in the bunch, as you might have understood...”
“But that means you don't trust him. Not really...”
“Why would you even say that?”
“Listen to yourself Theodore. You say you trust him, yet you would not do so if he was put under pressure. I constantly say we need to be careful but still invite him into your home where my family is hiding and then lecture me about not being careful enough...” William answered, trying hard not to raise his voice it seemed. “...you talk about trust, but still don't dare doing it yourself. You speak of what will happen when we leave here, and still will not listen when I tell you I'm not going. Honestly Theodore, how do you expect me to take you seriously when you say I am about the only person you feel you can trust for real, when it is obviously not so?”
“I do trust you...” he quickly tried but it sounded less believable than he had intended. “..and him. You have to believe me when I tell you that.”
“I have to? How? It's not like you've proven it to me? You lecture me Theodore, as if I was a child. But see, I am not. I have been lectured all my life about not being mature enough, about not realizing my responsibility or about crying over my dead brother at night, because boys don't cry. I am tired of constantly thinking about how people are going to lecture me next. So don't you do it too...” he stopped abruptly and turned away, his face quickly shadowed so that it was impossible for Theodore to see his eyes. “I trust you Theodore, I really do. And I think it is about time you show me you trust me too...”
“How can I do that..? I really didn't mean to upset you...”
“I know I just...” There was silence and a sigh left the other, which made Theodore want to reach out for him, hold him close and comfort him in any way he possibly could. But he refrained from doing so, without even understanding why. “...I want to be here for you, no matter if your world crashes or not. I am done with running away, done with losing those important to me. If you do trust me, let me stay? Let me be here... At least for a while longer?”
“Alright... stay with me”
As William turned again, there were tears in his eyes, and even though he was smiling, the sight tore its way straight into Theodore's heart and broke his facade into pieces. There was nothing he wouldn't do for him now, nothing he wouldn't say or fight against. He didn't care anymore about what was happening around them. If only for a second, the only thing he saw, was him.
“Thank you...”
There was sound suddenly coming from the kitchen and Theodore's heart jumped frantically, in that way it always does when you think someone will find out you're doing something you're not allowed to do. Like cleaning out the cookie jar when your mother is out shopping and suddenly she's standing there, looking at you with your mouth surrounded by deceitful little cookie crumbs. William smiled a little and wiped his cheeks quickly, making himself smear the dark spots even more but Theodore didn't tell him. He looked adorable like that way anyway, he really did.
“Maybe we should get back there and help her with some food?” the dark one then smiled and Theodore agreed. There was no telling what would happen if they stayed in the hallway any longer. He had been thinking too much and was beginning to fear what he might actually be capable of doing around this man. Only the soft brush of William's hand against his own made his body react in ways he didn't recognize and didn't much enjoy. He couldn't possibly ignore it now, when they were side by side, left the narrow hallway and stepped into the kitchen, soft skin against his fingertips. Was he doing it on purpose though? He couldn't be... could he?
When they had helped Mrs Kaplan clean the kitchen and make some food from what little there was left in Theodore's cabin's and such, they ate in silence, pretending nothing had just happened even though they both could have been responsible for the exposure of their plan and the hideout of the entire Kaplan family. William's father said nothing either but Theodore could see it in his eyes, that he was eager to know what had just happened but still angry that it had not been according to plan. As soon as Mrs Kaplan followed her younger boys into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her, the older man leaned across the table and made deep eye contact with his son.
“William” he started, his voice stern but calm, the way you talk when you're really mad at someone but still love them enough not to blow up in their face. “I told you not to leave that room, what if we had been discovered?”
“I told you, we already were discovered” his son replied calmly and threw Theodore a quick glance, as if requesting back up in his argument for it not to be invalid. “The man knew that Theodore had helped us, father, he wanted to know we were safe...”
“And how can you trust that he is not lying?” came the quick response, angrier now. “You might know how to read people well, I taught you after all. But there was a door between you, the only thing you could tell was the pitch of his voice? How could you possibly trust the word of someone you can't even see, who says that even though he works for your enemy he wants to help you?”
“I trust him because Theodore does” William answered plainly and Theodore felt his entire chest burn with proud warmth by those words. Maybe the other's father might not accept it as reason enough, but it felt good to know William even dared going against his father only by trusting him as much as he did. “For me, that is reason enough”
The older one's eyes now traveled to him and Theodore met them head on, knowing there was absolutely no need to shy away now. “I trust him” he said, even before the other had opened his mouth to ask if he did. “He was the one who told me about the raid against your home. If he had wanted me to go down with you, the police would have been here hours ago, since after tipping me off, me must have known I told you about it so that you could flee. He is a good man and he wants to help. Make no mistake about this...”
“Did he see my son?”
The question seemed forced, almost as if though he had not been wanting to doubt Theodore's words but was still just as worried about his son and family than he had been just before and therefore could not risk it. William was wrinkling his forehead, probably knowing that there would be some kind of punishment for his actions even if he had not necessarily done something wrong. Theodore sighed and took his eyes off of him, smiling back at the older one gently. “No, he didn't” he then lied and hoped his friend wouldn't react too much to it, blowing their cover. “I don't know what William had planned on doing if he did, but as it was, my friend had the time to leave before your son snuck up on me... But I can assure you, there would have been no trouble for you if my friend had in fact seen him. He cares for people, you see.”
Mr Kaplan breathed out but shook his head, his eyes not traveling back to William, who was still bowing his head down without seeming to react much to the lie at all. “I understand, but in the eye of this society...” the man spoke and kept his eyes straight on Theodore's, which was unnerving beyond reason. “...we are not seen as people”
“Maybe not by the rest of society” Theodore agreed, even though it pained him to do so. “But to him you are more than just rats and pest. He knows what it is like to be left out, to be seen as something smaller than what he is at heart, he knows the feeling of broken hopes and wasted dreams... If you should trust anyone else than me in this entire city, it is him, sir. I know that you are worried about the welfare of your family, but so am I. I would not jeopardize all you have done to survive, and I believe that neither would my friend”
“With all due respect, Theodore” the older one said, sounding important even though the annoyance was visible throughout his entire face. “Your friend is a policeman, and I know all about them... or at least to know that they're all alike”
At this, Theodore had had enough and stood up from his chair, not even caring if it was childish of him to walk away from this. Mr Kaplan knew perfectly well that he was a policeman as well. Why he would say such a thing in front of him bothered him more because of the fact that he knew, not because this was a lie or anything like it. The older one knew and yet he kept on insulting everything Theodore had ever believed in, as if he was trying to provoke him into doing something drastic to prove to him and his family that even Theodore was like all the others; brutal and evil.
“Don't forget who you're talking to, Sir” he then said calmly, not looking back at the man and ignoring the bewildered look William was sending him. “Policemen might be what you say they are, all of them even, but we still have feelings and I, for one, like to be shown the same respect I show others, no matter what their rang are or their social standing point.” He shoved his chair softly in against the table and left them, already buttoning his coat when William caught up to him in the hallway.
“He didn't mean it like that...” the dark one tried. It bothered him that that was the first thing he said, not asking why he got upset about it or even seeming to care that his father had just insulted his friend. But Theodore chose not to even comment on it and kept on buttoning, even though his fingers were almost shaking. “Please don't make anything rash... I know you're upset and he had no right to say that to you, but you can't...”
“I won't run to the station and tell them you're here, if that's what you're implying?”
William looked ashamed as Theodore met his eyes and only seconds later the dark one looked away. “I didn't mean that...” he replied, his voice weak again. Why was it that he couldn't stand up for himself when someone was angry with him? He had done nothing wrong, not really. But still he seemed to be the one taking the blame for what his father had done. “...I don't want you to give up on us...”
“Why would I do that?” As he asked, he was incapable of keeping the surprise out of his voice. “This... this wouldn't affect the way I feel about helping you or your family..?”
“But it could have...” William sighed and leaned back against the wall, eyes trailing the buttons on Theodore's coat, as if trying to see what the odds were of him taking it off again. “...He doesn't think and he says things that are hurtful. He's been very much like that towards me as well and every time he does it I feel like running away and never coming back, no matter how much my brothers need me...” He paused and Theodore turned his eyes away, unable to look back into those brown eyes when knowing what was coming. “...but I didn't run, Theodore, I stayed because I was needed. So I don't want you to leave, not when you're feeling like this... because no matter how much I trust you, you never know what you might be tempted into doing when your mind is in this state. You're angry and hurt, you couldn't make me believe differently no matter how hard you'd try, but it will be alright... as long as you don't step out through that door and let your feet and feelings guide you. Please... Stay here, you don't need to speak to him, we can sit by the window in the bedroom and just be, the two of us... for as long as you need”
He didn't know what to answer to that. Everything he could come to think of as a counter argument seemed invalid next to the other's words and eventually he had to admit that his reaction had been a bit more childish than he had wanted it to seem like. He really was not used to having someone like Mr Kaplan around... even though he suspected he must have the same kind of authority in his voice as his own father had had, while still being alive.
He sighed deeply and rubbed his eyes with his rough thumbs, breathing in deeply while trying to calm himself down further. He sometimes had difficulty pushing insults or remarks away, even though they were not even meant for him to begin with. He suspected he had inherited his temper from his father, but when asking his mother about it, she had always only smiled and pulled her fingers through his hair in a dreamy way. She missed the man so much she even longed for his temper?
William was smiling, Theodore could tell by the way his breathing changed from the deep sighs to soft intakes of air. “Don't look as if the world has already ended...” then came the soft remark and he couldn't help but relax and smile a bit himself when slimmed fingers unbuttoned his coat for him. “...I told you, you don't have to speak to him and it's perfectly fine for you to be upset, but at least try and think of something else? Let's go watch people down on the street, pretend we know them or something...”
“I'm sorry for being such a temperamental child...” he could only sigh and nodded a soft thank you when his friend hung his coat back up by the door.
“My brother was just like that too” William smiled back and even though there was that soft glimmer of sadness in his eyes momentarily, he still looked happier than Theodore had ever seen him when talking about his late brother. “So don't worry. I know how to handle men like you...” At this, he softly grabbed Theodore by the arm and pulled him back into the apartment. The boys were back in the living room, playing with some old toys they seemed to have brought along with them from their old home. Mr and Mrs Kaplan were sitting by the table, deep in conversation and not seeming to notice at all when the two younger men passed them by. The dark haired one closed the door softly behind them both and then smiled back at Theodore, who was already seating himself by the window as they had said.
“See?” William said as he joined him, eyes bright and clear, deep as dark wells. “You didn't have to say a word, or even look at him. Now it's only the part where it's only the two of us left, right? That part I think you will be able to handle, yes?”
“Not without you...” Theodore mumbled slightly and was happy the other one seemed not to have heard. They sat there for almost an hour, just looking out at the people on the street, who seemed too busy with early morning activities to notice the two of them behind the glass. Theodore felt strangely at ease, even though he knew someone might see them. It was not like anyone down there knew anything about what they had been through or cared about anyone else's life but their own anyway. As the hour had passed however, he started yawning uncontrollably and soon his friend hand almost forced him into bed, with clothes and all still on.
“I will tell my father what you told me, about your friend and what he has offered to do...” William smiled and pulled the blanket up over Theodore's slightly chilled body. It was only now that he realized just how tired he had been ever since they had carried the coking coal down to the burner. “...you rest, and we will talk when you've rested long enough to be able to be yourself again. Deal?” Theodore could only mumble back before he drifted off, a soft smile lingering on his lips. “You sleep now...”
...
Theodore remembered waking up a couple of times during the day, once to hear the angry voices of his tenants as they were discussing something in German which he was too tired to listen to even though it could have meant the exposure of their whereabouts. Another time he woke because Mrs Kaplan was packing up their belongings but she quickly hushed him back to sleep and stroked his hair, much like his own mother had done when he was younger. The last time he woke was when William crawled to bed next to him, his body trembling from tiredness and cold as he nuzzled close to Theodore's warm back, resting his forehead against his shirt as if to try and draw some of his warmth to him.
He lay there for a while and wondered if he should turn and talk to him, let him know that he was awake and that if he wanted to, he could have some more of the blanket. But when he finally turned, William was already sleeping soundly, fingertips gripping after the shirt he had been holding on to. Theodore smiled and took those cold fingers in his warm hands instead, shoving them close to his chest before closing his eyes again. The least he could do was warm them for the other. You never sleep well if your feet or fingers are cold after all. Right before drifting off again, he felt cold toes sneaking up against his leg as William curled into a tight bundle next to his body. The chill rushed all the way from his calf to the back of his neck but he didn't mind. He was warm enough to sleep anyway.