Thank you. I know these people well and they really did try everything. And I knew the horse, and yes he was a difficult one, but he tried his heart out to be good for E_P. If it had been me, I would have retired the horse sooner, but that is a very personal decision, and I am notoriously twitchy about lameness.
And you might be surprised what might happen to Totilas if he's a failure at stud. (see story of TB great Exceller...)
Yeah, this all makes total sense. I have to admit--and it's hard to believe this now!--Mitzi went through a stage where she was so scared of everything that I wondered if she was actually loco. (I'm pretty sure she was never like that on her home farm, because it was change that freaked her out.)
I decided that I had to send her for training even if I wasn't going to keep her, because she'd have had no chance otherwise. I'd pretty much decided that if the problem was me I'd sell her, and if the problem was that she was nuts... I'd probably have kept her as a pet, but I could see someone making a different decision and it would have been a fair one.
And that was pretty much the point when I decided that, for all my faults, I was trying to do the best thing for the horse. Yoda was wrong--there is "try."
Thank you... I wanted to say something similar but it's no good to stay involved.
The camp who had him didn't want to just get rid of him by sending him to auction; he might have stayed there getting skinnier and skinnier and crazier and crazier.
I never believed the old tale about a horse that could only be handled/worked by one person, until I saw E_P and Toga working together. He was a gnarly old bastard but around her, he turned into ... not a sweet horse, but a horse who was trying to be good. E_P's mom was the one who discovered him not bearing weight on his right front last Tuesday, but she couldn't get close enough to examine him -- and she has 40 years experience working with horses, including a lot of crazy ones. She had to wait for E_P to get home from school before they could assess what was going on, because he would let E_P touch his legs, but not anyone else.
She was pretty upset last night but I think she's doing better today. I will probably see her on Saturday (her dad's out of town, and her mom's having a slumber party; E_P may hide in her room the whole time, but I'm not just her mom's friend, I am her friend too.)
Mods on equestrian appear to have finally woken up, but I don't know what, if anything, they are going to do. It only took them about what, 3 or 4 days?
I worried a LOT about this when I first took on Marco - that I wasn't experienced enough, or a good enough rider - that I'd miss something important, or make the wrong decision... And someone said to me then - the FACT that you're worrying about these things, means that you're doing a pretty good job! I thought that was a good point! And also, learning that it doesn't have to be perfect! Horses are not bothered about perfect. That's a human thing.
Heh. And I mean--obviously there are extremes, like I would be the wrong home for an Olympic dressage horse or a bad-mannered stallion or something... but for the most part, most horse people are doing their honest best, and their honest best is better than they sometimes give themselves credit for. I used to think, "Oh, another owner would do this or that better than me and Mitzi would be better off!" But when Mitzi was throwing panic-stricken fits over velcro, it's also possible another owner would have put her on a truck and sent her to a sale. So: she could easily be worse off, as could Marco and River... almost every horse I know. Yoda was wrong: there is "try."
Yes, exactly. I think it's the "best" phrase that I find tricky - my family's ethos was that you hadn't really 'done your best' until you were broken into little bits on the floor with the effort, and that has been a very unhelpful framework that has taken a while to start dismantling... I am now coming to terms with the idea that sometimes we (meaning Marco & me) can get to 'good enough', and that is ok...
I find this difficult, there is always an itch in me that I 'should' be 'making it better' whatever the cost - but I am learning that there are occasions where the more I push at something trying to improve the situation, the more I make it an issue or the slower progress comes... Marco doesn't care whether he has the 'best' this or that, he cares whether he is comfortable, and he cares whether he is happy... That has been a good learning curve!
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And you might be surprised what might happen to Totilas if he's a failure at stud. (see story of TB great Exceller...)
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I decided that I had to send her for training even if I wasn't going to keep her, because she'd have had no chance otherwise. I'd pretty much decided that if the problem was me I'd sell her, and if the problem was that she was nuts... I'd probably have kept her as a pet, but I could see someone making a different decision and it would have been a fair one.
And that was pretty much the point when I decided that, for all my faults, I was trying to do the best thing for the horse. Yoda was wrong--there is "try."
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The camp who had him didn't want to just get rid of him by sending him to auction; he might have stayed there getting skinnier and skinnier and crazier and crazier.
I never believed the old tale about a horse that could only be handled/worked by one person, until I saw E_P and Toga working together. He was a gnarly old bastard but around her, he turned into ... not a sweet horse, but a horse who was trying to be good. E_P's mom was the one who discovered him not bearing weight on his right front last Tuesday, but she couldn't get close enough to examine him -- and she has 40 years experience working with horses, including a lot of crazy ones. She had to wait for E_P to get home from school before they could assess what was going on, because he would let E_P touch his legs, but not anyone else.
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Mods on equestrian appear to have finally woken up, but I don't know what, if anything, they are going to do. It only took them about what, 3 or 4 days?
Reply
I worried a LOT about this when I first took on Marco - that I wasn't experienced enough, or a good enough rider - that I'd miss something important, or make the wrong decision... And someone said to me then - the FACT that you're worrying about these things, means that you're doing a pretty good job! I thought that was a good point! And also, learning that it doesn't have to be perfect! Horses are not bothered about perfect. That's a human thing.
Go Shelley! ;-)
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I find this difficult, there is always an itch in me that I 'should' be 'making it better' whatever the cost - but I am learning that there are occasions where the more I push at something trying to improve the situation, the more I make it an issue or the slower progress comes... Marco doesn't care whether he has the 'best' this or that, he cares whether he is comfortable, and he cares whether he is happy... That has been a good learning curve!
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