alternately stone in you and star (suite bergamasque).

[conditionelle]

title: alternately stone in you and star.
author: conditionelle
pairing: Kris/Adam.
rating: R.
summary: There are no uniformly happy endings, and to declare that they exist is to indulge in a cop-out, to buy into the sweeping annihilatory aftermath left behind by this delusion of universal peachy-keenness; all your stories neatly concluded and carefully

Comments

IT'S A TL;DR PARTY UP IN HERRRRE

[fakeplasticsnow]

Okay, speaking as your manly, crude, unfiltered, simpler-minded, fratboy-esque, Apatow-is-high-art-seriously LJ friend: It's fantastic. It's romantic, it's passionate and it's gorgeously written. I've had absolutely no exposure to the references you've listed (and probably wouldn't have the patience to read them anyway if given the chance, heh), but I still understood the whole thing just fine. You're also doing better with the paragraph breaks! And hello, you handled the sex thing like a champ as usual.

The ending was brilliant. I'd started to get frustrated with this fandom, because lately I've been reading stories that are well-crafted but have endings that are disappointing in varying degrees. Endings make or break a story for me; I'd liked Zack and Miri Make a Porno until the last 15 minutes, and that ruined the whole movie for me. Yours was a welcome relief, and it's so true, there really are no absolute endings in life, just a continued series of events.

I went back and looked at the "flowery" concrit you talked about on aific. I

Re: IT'S A TL;DR PARTY UP IN HERRRRE

[jehane_writes]

(craptasticular eljay, I hate thee, posting AGAIN)

Can I say how much I flove this comment, AND YOU, gosh? (Also, that I flove Nabakov and Eugenides and have just made it through Middlesex and how famazing it were?)

And that you should please tell C never to dumb it down. C'MON.

And I would totally love to beta for you. PM me so I can send you my email address.

Re: IT'S A TL;DR PARTY UP IN HERRRRE

[conditionelle]

I LOVE LONG REVIEWS. EVERYONE NEEDS THEM. I would leave one for every single piece ever written if possible, but alas it's not. HOWEVER, I WILL GO AND REVIEW THE HELL OUT OF YOU, DAMMIT, WHEN I GET TO SIT DOWN LATER TODAY AND READ THE FICS I MISSED. :D

Yay, paragraph breakage! I kept going through and entering line breaks when I was editing each section as I completed them, so that is a huge YAY if you think the (s)pacing is getting somewhat better. The sex involved a lot of hand-waving, I'm afraid, so I'm just glad it at least didn't strike you as being too egregiously awful! As for the ending: I'm not going to lie, I'm proud of it, and it makes me happy that you like it as well. ♥

The concrit I do take to heart (though "flowery" does make me smile, I will admit), because I used to actually be even worse about just how dense my prose can get. I know this, it's sort of an Achilles' heel, and I'm working on it -- it's actually invaluable to have someone point it out every once in a while. But yeah, I'm not going to cry over it or

Re: IT'S A TL;DR PARTY UP IN HERRRRE

[summerbreeze21]

This comment is kind of late because I've had this open for a few days, but only just got the time to finish it. I wanted to reply to this comment instead of starting a new thread because I'm the person who made the "flowery" comment (hi! \o/) It's really kind of weird to find out something I've said is being commented on, haha. And I'm sorry, I didn't see your response to the anon comment on aific until just now, so I will just tackle both here

[jehane_writes]

You already know, my dear. ♥.

"I leave myself in your hands. What choice do I have? By the time you read this...that - if anywhere - is the only place I will be."

[conditionelle]

Enjoy your 30% of responsibility, lady! ♥

Also, did you finish reading? :D

[jehane_writes]

As any careful lawyer would advise their client: DO NOT ADMIT TO ANYTHING.

Can we all have a triolet of empathic bonding over the Lisbon girls? Although we're far too sensible, too in love with life, LADIES, PLEASE --

I think I've said all I wanted to, regarding Polaris, regarding Euterpe, and I still have tears over the eternal return, dear, that final image, that ENDING, OH GOD.

The Siren was lovely, and I especially loved his skin was a conductor of consequences, because that is so true, but Hamelin totally slayed me, with its Gaimaneseque three forks in the road, with its invocation of Shel, and, the heartbreaking We write our own ending, this time, except, you don't break free of the story, ever - you retell it, beautifully, in the eternal return cycle, but that's the one shot you get.

As Amber has said, your paragraphing and pacing works well (were you ever concerned about it?), and the sexing was perfectly fine (I am hoping for much more lush confidence from you, next time ;) - do you have erotica, that you enjoy? So

[conditionelle]

...I HAVE A TRACK RECORD OF OVERIDENTIFYING WITH SCREWED UP CHARACTERS (Ivan Karamazov, looking at you!); IT'S NICE TO HAVE SOME COMPANY. But I just have to say, okay, the ending of The Virgin Suicides? Oh my God, SLAYS me. I can't quote it and I don't have the book with me right now, but you know the part I mean, yeah? The choice and the power that wasn't theirs, etc.? Yeah.

"Hamelin" was really weird for me, because the words kept speeding up so I went through three drafts to try and slow it back down; that latter-chapters sense of hurtling, as it were? But yes, I'm completely thrilled that it works for you

[mylittlehottie]

I will be honest with you and say that I really don't understand much of your authors notes or even the comments made by others. I guess I am just not that learned of these things. However I can say, that I absolutely loved this story. I am a terminal lurker here and read everything that comes my way. Most often I get halfway thru and think "why?". A story like this is one of the reasons I keep reading. You are truly one of the best. I didn't just read this I felt it in my gut. It took my breath away. I love that you didn't bog down in the physical everyday details, but drew me in with raw emotion. wow, thanks

[conditionelle]

Don't pay attention to our tangential rambling! Especially mine. I just -- blather on a lot. Thank you though, I really appreciate your kind words. :)

[talipuu]

I'm almost nervous to comment because I really don't have anything smart or constructive to say, but I must because I love your writing so much.
When I saw this posted at kradam_ai I literally squealed, abandoned everything and clicked on it immediately.

Your work is like a breath of fresh air, it is so unique, and more than anything, it's immensely intelligent. The language, the prose, the mythology and metaphors; everything is so rich and powerful, I just become immersed in the story, as though I'm right there, and it's glorious.

I love the ambiguity to certain sentences, that allowance of interpretation. Detail is wonderful, but sometimes it can be so meticulous it borders on patronizing (such as Bernard Cornwell's work for instance, which I have never been able to get along with) so this approach is really refreshing to read.

This comment is becoming much longer than I intended, so I'll wrap it up now just by saying that I love this very much, it flows beautifully and the ending is perfect (and made me tear up!) ♥

[conditionelle]

Aww, bb, don't be nervous to comment! I really think I speak for every single writer out there when I say that feedback is always, always appreciated. And besides, this is absolutely the kind of feedback I love getting -- thank you for getting back to me about what worked in particular.

And also, just another general thank you for your praise. It means a lot ♥

[mabe85]

Okay, that was intense. Hee.
Beautiful writing. And great characterization of Kris here:
Halfway through deflecting the compliment - you have had a lot of experience doing this over the years, you do it best when you can accompany yourself and hide in the shadow of a melody line...

Lovely read.

[conditionelle]

I aim for intensity! Thank you :)