Is this how it will be?

[coming42]

8:50pm and I have just woken up having fallen asleep in front of the TV, must have been around 7:00pm. Momentarily I had trouble remembering what day it was, had I fed Riley, had I checked my journal comments, my emails...Not that the emails matter that much, most of them are junk. I - just - feel - so - tired. And alone and bereft and you are

Comments

[siduri]

There is no set time frame, no window for things to be different. Everyone is different and you are in the early stages of grieving this loss. Are there any grief support groups in your area? Even in terms of hearing how others cope?

[coming42]

There probably are. At the moment I prefer the solitude of my grief although I can call on my neighbour at any time for company and my best friend is visiting tomorrow.

[siduri]

It takes time, yes. I am glad that you do have people in and out.

[theirgrammy]

Reading your journal reminder me of when my dad lost my mom. For awhile after she was gone he would accidentally call me by her name and then catch himself. Then when he lost his 2nd wife he struggled through the grief. No one can say how long it will take. Or even if it will ever completely leave. My thoughts prayers and love are with you at this time. You have friends and Dave. & Riley. Take each day as it comes. I know the silence can be unbearably loud some days.

*hugs* my friend Julie

[coming42]

Thank you for your lovely words, Julie. Had me in tears again…

[theirgrammy]

❤️

[davesmusictank]

Oh bruv, I really feel for you and wish I could be permanently there with you. However, I love my own space and do my own things. so, here is what I propose that for say the next few months I come twice a month. Maybe in my own way, I can help you deal with the loss.

Siduri is right about getting with others who have gone through similar things. I also believe that joining that social group will help you feel less alone.

I will call every day till the next time I come to Brighton. Also, if you ever want to chat on the phone or via Alexa feel free to do that.

Oh and to know what day it is ask Alexa "What day is it?"

[coming42]

What would I do without you Dave. That all sounds good to me. Riley jumped on the bed a while back and has gone to sleep right where my feet would be so I can’t get them under the duvet. Guess I will have to settle down on top. Talk tomorrow.

[davesmusictank]

Thinking of you bro .. always.

Believe

[mairi_dubh]

The short, bald and even stark answer to "Is this how it will be?" is, "No---unless you choose to grab this moment and this feeling and freeze them in time and yourself inside them."
No, it won't be, unless you choose to make it your life and your way of being.

It's early days yet. Very early days.

Think of this.
Your self and your psyche, require some time to recover from shock and then to begin to recover, adjust, and adapt.
At our age, a broken bone won't knit back together as quickly as it would have when we were, say, seventeen; grief recovery...well, it's different and from some personal experience and some less immediate observation, I'd say it's a less even process than the healing of a broken bone but I'd also say that grief can be just as lengthy for a much younger person as it is for a senior citizen.

Ultimately, you'll be okay. Trust that.

You have good friends who have given and who give you support and good advice.

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