[Fic] Black Satin - 12/14
Title: Black Satin
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, Romance
Warning: crossdressing
Summary: Out of work, Kyuhyun's last ditch effort lands him a curious roommate - and a job he never expected.
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six * Chapter Seven * Chapter Eight * Chapter Nine * Chapter Ten * Chapter Eleven * Chapter Twelve * Chapter Thirteen
***
Probably the worst time to have things unsettled between them was the week that Zhou Mi’s parents would be visiting. All their plans had revolved around that morning having the bed frame and mattress delivered. After his first initial moment of panic, sickness, pessimism, and hope, he found that waking with Zhou Mi breathing down the back of his shirt had a way of spinning the day into a positive light. Still, he’d pushed himself out of bed before he could turn and pin Zhou Mi to the mattress. By the time Zhou Mi had woke, showered, and dressed, he was on his second hour of gaming.
“Bed should be here in about two hours,” he called to Zhou Mi
“I’m going to go out and get some food, then,” Zhou Mi said. “Did you need anything? Want anything for lunch?”
“Anything that sounds good to you,” he said, and kept his eyes on his keyboard.
Though he stared at the door balefully after Zhou Mi closed it behind him. Maybe he should’ve offered to go along. But it wasn’t like Zhou Mi was going on safari to Africa, he was just going around the corner. And he didn’t often offer to go along unless he really was going crazy in the house. And if he analyzed it for one second longer he was going to hit himself.
Still, he was on his feet as soon as the door opened, taking a couple of the bags from Zhou Mi and poking through them on the way to the kitchen. “Oh, chicken. Awesome.”
“Want to learn how to cook it?”
He laughed as he dumped all the contents of the bags into a pile onto the counter. Knowing Zhou Mi would be wincing behind him. “You think that’s a great idea?”
“Sure. Then I can brag about you to my parents.”
That gave him pause, because he didn’t trust that Zhou Mi wasn’t going to suggest he do something like actually do the cooking one day. He didn’t think he’d want to do it even if he practiced cooking something every single meal until Zhou Mi’s parents arrived. Zhou Mi might think it was cute, but he’d rather be the cute dumb puppy in the corner than the puppy who tried to roll over and got stuck on his pudgy stomach.
“It’s not like I’m going to cook it for them,” he said skeptically.
“It’ll be fun, I promise,” Zhou Mi assured him, grinning and sort of rubbing their elbows together in a way that tickled. Tickled in so many ways.
“Fun, says the executioner,” Kyuhyun intoned, but he knew his eyes were saying anything but. He hadn’t really expected to get up and talk over everything they’d talked about the night before. It wasn’t quite like a suspended breath, he thought, as he watched Zhou Mi wash the chicken. Nothing that morning had been particularly abnormal, except the waking up part.
He chopped the vegetables while Zhou Mi took care of the chicken, mixing up a sauce for it. Zhou Mi sort of explained the concept of the dish, how to make it, doing everything possible to get the information into his novice brain. He definitely let Zhou Mi take care of the peppers, because knowing himself he’d be in pain forever. The oil had heated to Zhou Mi’s satisfaction while they worked and he handed Kyuhyun the stirrer and the chicken and stepped aside.
“If you eat charcoal for lunch, don’t blame me,” he warned.
“I have faith in you, Kui Xian.”
The grin did make him feel a little better. The sizzle startled him, but the smell of cooking chicken wafted almost immediately, and he was determined, concentrating on moving it around to make sure it cooked evenly. That much at least he knew. And as he was getting more comfortable, he had a Zhou Mi wrapping his arms around his chest and leaning over his shoulder.
“You’re doing good,” Zhou Mi said. “It’s about time to put in the vegetables.”
He glanced askance at the man holding him. “Is this a new teaching technique that I hadn’t heard about?”
They both shook as Zhou Mi giggled. “Do you like it?”
“I think if more chefs used it, they’d have students lining up around the block.”
“It’s my Kui Xian teaching trick.” And he squeezed Kyuhyun to prove it.
It was so easy, the light flirtation. Scraping the vegetables into the pan and moving the food around. Adding the sauce as Zhou Mi talked about the food, never letting him go.
He blew on a piece of chicken, holding it up to Zhou Mi’s mouth.
“Mm, good,” Zhou Mi said. “Good job, Kui Xian.”
“I just stirred things around. You’re the one who-”
His whole body flashed cold as Zhou Mi kissed his cheek.
“No, you did a lot,” Zhou Mi said, extracting himself to take down plates.
What did that mean? A kiss on the cheek? Was that the in-between phase of Zhou Mi thinking about “them”?
Still, with rice the food was really good. Not that he felt that he had much to do with that still. He got to watch Zhou Mi eat it, though, and that was a highlight no matter what there was to eat. Zhou Mi was a very focused eater, and he had admired many times over the way he held his chopsticks. Filling a stomach had never seemed so compelling.
“We’re doing good on time,” Zhou Mi said, startling him out of the fantasy he’d been having about Zhou Mi’s hands.
“Yeah. I guess it’s my turn to do the dishes?”
“You cooked!”
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes as he picked up Zhou Mi’s plate. “I know that all these dishes are very hard up and crying out for you, but I can manage, I promise. I just assisted.”
“No, you cooked. I’ll do the dishes.”
The stubborn chin had come out to play, and he sighed. What use was there in arguing with that? He did help, though, putting away what they had left out, stacking dishes for Zhou Mi. Helping by standing beside him and watching. Watching as Zhou Mi almost put a dish with food on it into their little dish drainer.
“Do you need a lesson in dishwashing?” he teased, pushing himself off the counter. He made sure Zhou Mi didn’t have any knives in his hand as he wrapped his arms around Zhou Mi from behind. “I can probably help with that.”
“I’d have to see your credentials,” Zhou Mi retorted, cleaning the dish properly.
“You’ve already seen them. I can see why this’d be a popular teaching method.”
Had Zhou Mi just shivered? He stared at the stiffly held neck and Zhou Mi’s jaw. And he seemed to be breathing through his teeth as Kyuhyun held him. But he wasn’t being told to go away, so he just smiled into Zhou Mi’s shoulder.
The last pot got set aside, and Zhou Mi wiggled a little victory dance.
“King of the dishes?” Kyuhyun asked him.
“Thanks for your support,” Zhou Mi said, leaning back into him.
Their cheekbones almost slammed together as they both jumped at the knock on the door, each going the wrong way.
“The bed!” Zhou Mi exclaimed, wriggling away.
He followed more sedately as the door opened to reveal the men with the bed frame they had bought. The men who delivered the bed made short work of setting it up. Way shorter than it would’ve taken him or Zhou Mi. They just sort of stayed out of the way, making impressed eyebrow motions at each other. And with the mattress on, it looked even better. And while Zhou Mi took care of paying the men, he got to what he’d wanted to do since the start: jumping right on it. It had a nice amount of give, but not too much as he flopped onto his back, wriggling. It was pretty okay, though.
He held on tight as the whole bed bounced under Zhou Mi’s weight.
“Had the same idea, huh?” he asked, laughing as Zhou Mi bounced around a little.
“Yeah! I had to make sure this wasn’t the better bed. What do you think? Do you like it more than our bed?”
The ceiling was very, very interesting in the wake of that question, because looking at Zhou Mi’s face wasn’t an option. Our bed. He definitely couldn’t answer back in those terms. Yeah, our bed is better. He’d have gotten used to a rotted plank if it had Zhou Mi in it with him. Probably. He just would’ve complained a lot more doing it.
“I think the other mattress is better,” he said. “This is a little firmer. Your parents should like it more.”
Zhou Mi nodded vigorously. “That’s what I was thinking. And I would’ve hated to have dragged all of my stuff in here so they could have that bed instead. Want to help me put the sheets on?”
“Sure.”
But they lay there a few moments more, at least until Zhou Mi elbowed him. But he got a solid slap to Zhou Mi’s hip in retaliation. Because the bed was the same size as Zhou Mi’s, they used a set of extra sheets. The nicer set, according to Zhou Mi, though he really couldn’t tell any difference himself. Putting on a nice blanket, and putting pillowcases on the new pillows Zhou Mi had gotten, too. It was as perfect as the two of them could manage, in any case, he thought, smoothing down a wrinkle in the blanket.
“I think they’ll be comfortable in here. There’s plenty of room for their bags,” Kyuhyun said. “At least Heechul got the rest of his junk out.”
“I think so, too!” Zhou Mi looked so pleased with himself, that undercurrent of excitement to be seeing his parents. “You’ll get to have some of my mom’s cooking. It is the best.”
“What, she didn’t teach you?” he asked, all innocence as he tried to keep himself from ogling Zhou Mi’s butt as they went back to the front room.
“Kui Xian!”
He chuckled, plopping down with his computer on the floor. “Come on, you asked for that one.”
Zhou Mi settled close to him, but on the couch. “I like what I cook.”
“You’ve made me gain weight.”
And though his tone was displeased, he scooted back so that he could lean against the bottom of the couch, his shoulder against Zhou Mi’s leg. It was a position they’d been in a hundred times, but never with uncertainty between them. He was doing his best to try and be normal and not get on his knees blubbering and begging like an overgrown child. He’d made his case, he was there. It was up to Zhou Mi to take it. There wasn’t anywhere else he wanted to be right then, or an hour later, when he’d slouched down, dozing against Zhou Mi’s thigh as Zhou Mi softly massaged his scalp. There was no need for counting sheep around Zhou Mi, not when he did that. But he stayed like that until Zhou Mi had to get up to use the restroom, and went back to his game, and to his tenuous grasp on sanity.
***
Kyuhyun felt no steadier as the afternoon went by, listening to Zhou Mi working out without actively meaning to, listening to Zhou Mi chat into his phone as he made out the bills and checked his email. He didn’t usually watch as Zhou Mi typed, but every so often, he just couldn’t help himself. Watching the long arms, and the cocked wrists, and those fingers. The way that Zhou Mi used his little finger and sort of tapped almost silently as he thought, not hard enough to press a key, but just a movement. He wondered what put that thoughtful look on Zhou Mi’s face, wondered if it had anything to do with him. It was a hopeful thought. Or, at least an I’m-pretty-pleased-with-life sort of expression.
He was pretty pleased, too, making his way every so nonchalantly to Zhou Mi and the computer.
“Hey,” he said, putting his hand on the upper edge of the laptop screen. Just waiting for Zhou Mi and his very dark, gorgeous eyes to look up at him. “Hungry?”
Zhou Mi blinked, considering. “I am almost.”
He managed to not let his face do anything stupid, but the hand at his side was definitely clenching as he thought. It wasn’t like he was asking Zhou Mi on a date. Just suggesting he get food. But if Zhou Mi wanted to see it as a date, then it wasn’t like he minded, exactly. He tried for neutral, not using the obvious ‘with me’ phrasing.
“Want to go out to dinner tonight?”
“Sure!” Zhou Mi responded almost immediately. “Where do you want to go?”
“I’m up for anything,” he said. “What sounds good?”
“You decide, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said, standing. “I’ll eat anything. I’ll start getting ready, okay?”
He nodded, wondering at Zhou Mi’s smile as he passed. What sounded good. Sushi, he decided. It was something they hadn’t had in a while, and he knew it was something that Zhou Mi enjoyed. If they were going to have a first date, unofficial or not, he wanted it to be something they both enjoyed. Maybe a little kiss goodnight afterward?
But he managed to keep himself under control as Zhou Mi emerged, freshened and beaming. So immediately agreeing that sushi sounded good. And standing beside him, watching Zhou Mi from beneath his arm as they hung on in the subway car. Maybe it was a date. Maybe. Whatever it was, they were together, and that was good.
“We get off here?” he asked, and at the confirmation, followed Zhou Mi.
What did they look like? Sitting together in their little booth, laughing at some ridiculous text Zhou Mi had gotten. Talking about what else they needed for the room for Zhou Mi’s parents. Sharing a sampler of sushi. Relaxing over tea and bulging stomachs. He wondered if they looked like a couple, the way he admired Zhou Mi’s face. Or the way that Zhou Mi reached to touch his hand to emphasize a point as he talked. Something that was so normal between them, but different because he thought that they saw every move they took differently. Almost like they were looking with new eyes. Or at least, he was. But there was a tilt to Zhou Mi’s lips. And he knew Zhou Mi well enough to know he was happy.
***
“I’m not going to be able to eat until your parents get here,” Kyuhyun groaned, collapsing on the floor by the couch.
“No, no, you have to keep eating, or you won’t be able to help!”
He swatted at Zhou Mi’s hand. “I see how it is. You need my help.”
“You know better,” Zhou Mi said, rocking his shoulder again. “Hey, watch this drama with me?”
He tore his eyes from his email to where a hospital scene was unfolding. At least it wasn’t one of the romance-y kind of thing he listened to some nights while gaming. He pushed himself up with a grunt, and half rolled into Zhou Mi when he sat on the couch.
“Your parents are going to hate this couch. Just as my role of helper, you should know that.”
“I like it,” Zhou Mi said, tucking Kyuhyun’s arm under his. “It promotes closeness.”
He laughed until Zhou Mi shushed him, and turned his attention back to the doctors on the screen. If Zhou Mi wanted to hang onto him and rub his hand, that was fine.
He decided that Zhou Mi wasn’t actually trying to turn him on. He just couldn’t have known that touching Kyuhyun like that would be quite so enticing. Any touching. Maybe unless he had a razor in his hand, because Kyuhyun had standards, thank you very much. But the way Zhou Mi massaged between his knuckles, stretching out his fingers, along his palm and the base of his thumb. He was paying way more attention to watching Zhou Mi’s fingers work than he was on the show, and he wondered if Zhou Mi was even paying attention to it. He didn’t actually care, because he had his head on Zhou Mi’s shoulder, and Zhou Mi’s hands on some part of him at least.
“Do you get cramps gaming sometimes?” Zhou Mi asked.
“They get stiff, and sometimes sore if I forget how long I’ve been going. My eyes get really dry first though. Headaches. You do brain massage, too?”
Zhou Mi laughed, and slid their fingers tightly together. Against the top of his head, Zhou Mi’s cheek nestled. “Maybe by osmosis?”
“Brain to brain massage?” he asked, letting their heads rock and rub for a moment.
“Good thing I like you. I wouldn’t do that for just anyone.”
“Watch your drama,” he admonished, squeezing the hand holding his.
Even on the stupid, broken couch, it was comfortable there. Seeing which of their hands could engulf more of the other, having his head as a prop for Zhou Mi’s. Watching as the last of the dramatic scenes on the screen finished and it segued to commercials and news.
“Tired?” Zhou Mi asked.
“Probably should shower. Preference?”
“Of who goes first?”
He cackled. “Yeah. I wasn’t asking if you wanted to share.”
And then there was silence.
A lot of silence.
Until Zhou Mi’s stomach began to tremble, great gulping laughs erupting as he not only turned, but all but covered Kyuhyun. He patted Zhou Mi’s back as his neck was giggled into, not even bothering to hide his own laughter.
“I’m an easy date,” Kyuhyun said. “Dinner and a shower.”
“Not if I just fall asleep on you right here,” Zhou Mi threatened.
“And you’ll walk around for me tomorrow? Great.”
His eyes closed as Zhou Mi kissed his cheek. So close to the ending of the night that he’d been expecting. He’d even called it a date, and Zhou Mi had not balked or argued. Like it was expected, and that what they were doing together was something that Zhou Mi wanted. Taking those little steps together.
“I don’t like things being uneasy between us,” Zhou Mi said, squeezing him.. “I’m glad we still… I’m glad.”
“Yeah,” he breathed. “Me too.”
“Go, have your shower first,” Zhou Mi told him, easing back far enough to allow Kyuhyun to stand. Even patting his butt to get him moving. No, they weren’t sharing a shower yet, but everything happened in order. There’d definitely come a time when Zhou Mi knew just how much Kyuhyun wanted him. That wasn’t today, but it sure felt a heck of a lot closer than yesterday.
He was quick about it, snickering as he came out of the bathroom.
“Hey, it’s ready!” he called out, opening the door before he gathered his dirty clothes.
“That was fast!”
“Yeah, I know. I left you something in there,” he said, sidestepping to admit Zhou Mi. “Don’t take too long, okay?”
“I’ll be quick,” Zhou Mi promised.
He’d left a little message on the mirror with the colored lip gloss Zhou Mi had left on the counter from work. Don’t fog me, the mirror seemed to plead, in reference to Zhou Mi’s hot water use. He waited at the corner until he heard Zhou Mi’s laughter.
He got a cup of water to set on his bedside table, arranging the covers how he liked them. He knew that Zhou Mi didn’t need a light to get in bed, so he was happy to just lay there in the dark. Thinking. Holding hands while watching tv, just sitting together. Having dinner. It was the kind of dating that he had always idealized. Low pressure, high on comfort, with that edge of awareness that shouted of endless interest. Attraction, he had no problem admitting. The leading edge of fear, the wishing, that had kind of choked him, had receded. He didn’t exactly have a written guarantee from Zhou Mi, or even a verbal one. If it took dinner and cuddling to make Zhou Mi understand he was serious, then that was what they were doing. Or if Zhou Mi wanted to bother. No. He shook that thought off again. Zhou Mi wouldn’t lead him on, if there was one thing that he was sure of.
Zhou Mi puttered into the room, and he saw Zhou Mi’s cell phone light up as he set it aside. Mattress dipping a little as he crawled into bed. Zhou Mi’s mouth almost crashed into his cheekbone, causing him to laugh as they turned toward each other. But he got a true kiss on the cheek, Zhou Mi capturing his hand. They were so close in the dark, he could feel Zhou Mi’s breath puff lightly against his chin. All he had to do was lean forward, and he could show Zhou Mi all the things he’d wanted to. He swallowed both his pride and his patience, pressing his own mouth to Zhou Mi’s cheek, before letting his forehead lean against Zhou Mi’s.
“Seems like it’s been a long day and a short day,” Zhou Mi murmured.
“Mmhmm. Fun, though.”
Zhou Mi sighed. “Yes. Sleep well, Kui Xian.”
“You too.”
He wondered which of them were going to let go first, moving to their usual positions. And smiled as he heard Zhou Mi’s breathing even. Neither of them, it seemed.
***
Zhou Mi, Zhou Mi, Zhou Mi, his mind chanted. He reached for that face, that mouth against his. Moaning, as Zhou Mi moved against him. Zhou Mi was amazing, and it was no surprise. Every single thing he had imagined had barely felt this good. And that knot of tension he had been carrying started to fade, because everything he had worried about was right there, against him. But he wanted more again, Zhou Mi’s weight on him. Feeling him. Not like some damsel in distress, but like a partner, mimicking an act they probably weren’t ready to complete. Okay, so maybe he was ready. But Zhou Mi might not be yet. And that was okay.
There was so much else for them. Like a hundred years on Zhou Mi’s mouth. His lips were incredible, but that he’d known already. And inch by inch, barely allowing enough room for breath, Zhou Mi edged above him. Knees staggered, but it was still Zhou Mi above him, chests together, working the angle of that kiss, and his whole body shuddering with the bliss of it. Undone by a kiss, his mind mocked. But it was Zhou Mi. It wasn’t like it was something ordinary.
And even as his lips stung, he wanted more, eyes opening as Zhou Mi’s head lifted. The corners of his lips curled as Zhou Mi panted above him, eyes huge. Yes, that was what he had been wanting. Now, finally Zhou Mi knew. He lifted his head, hoping for another kiss, and was shocked when Zhou Mi struggled off of him.
“I can’t do this,” Zhou Mi said, diving for the edge and stumbling so hard getting out of the covers that he actually went down on his knees.
“Do what?” Was that his voice? It was only Zhou Mi on the floor that gave him time to unfreeze from the impromptu escape, following only slightly more gracefully, but keeping Zhou Mi from standing up. Kind of literally as he all but sank into Zhou Mi’s lap. Everything he’d wanted had been right there, so why was it all going wrong? He was grasping at Zhou Mi like some kind of barnacle, trying to understand. Things had been fine when they were kissing. He’d been trying to show Zhou Mi how wrong he’d been.
“Get off of me!”
“No, not until you tell me why you’re upset! Zhou Mi…”
He tried to kiss him again, tried to engage that frowning mouth, and was shocked to find himself on the floor, Zhou Mi standing.
“A kiss like that wasn’t worth waiting for,” Zhou Mi said, not even bothering to look at him.
Which meant, you weren’t worth waiting for.
“Wait!” All he wanted was an explanation, or…
He woke with the realization that he’d dragged half the covers up onto his chest, and he heaved them down, sitting with the feeling that he still needed to be reaching out for Zhou Mi. Just a freaking dream. The bed shifted beside him and he cursed himself inside. Of course Zhou Mi would wake up with him shaking the bed like they were in some ocean storm.
“Kui Xian? Are you all right?”
Just want to be sure that you want me, his mind whispered.
“It was a nightmare. It’s okay, don’t worry.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Zhou Mi’s hand was warm against the cool skin of his arm, and it made him shiver.
“I’m okay, really. I’ll fix the blankets.”
He thought about locking himself in the bathroom, but staying where he was had more appeal. There wasn’t a Zhou Mi in the bathroom, and there was one here. Zhou Mi was still awake, watching him, as he had just about felt steady enough to lay back. It had just been a dream. But it in some way reflected reality. He wanted to kiss Zhou Mi, badly. And he worried about it. Maybe after a nightmare like that wasn’t the best time, but then again, maybe it was. He was already freaked out.
He watched very closely to make sure that Zhou Mi wasn’t trying to avoid it. It wasn’t like Kyuhyun was very subtle. He didn’t have any ability left in himself to be subtle. He got himself close as gracefully as a beaching walrus, and with no other part of them touching, kissed Zhou Mi. He had to pull half away, adjust, make their mouths fit just so, so he could press more effectively, urge Zhou Mi to kiss him back. Zhou Mi’s mouth was stiff with surprise at first, and then so giving, melting into the kiss as though he wanted nothing else. It wasn’t words, no, but they’d had other things without words, too. He knew without words that Zhou Mi was his friend, that with him he wanted more than he thought possible. And all he wanted to do was show it in this one kiss. Begging Zhou Mi to listen, to hear what was unsaid, and see.
But he dipped his head, remembering at last to breathe, eyes closed and chest heaving. He had not run a marathon, it had just been a kiss. A kiss, Zhou Mi unsuspecting, warm, the heat from him puffing beside his mouth.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. He did not want Zhou Mi to think that he was pressuring him at all. Trying to seduce him with kisses. Trying to sway him that way. But just the fact that Zhou Mi had kissed him back had the gritting fear inside him calming.
“Why are you sorry, Kui Xian?” Zhou Mi asked softly.
“Because I don’t want you to think I’m…Mm.”
No matter what he didn’t want, Zhou Mi had nudged close, cutting him off without much finesse. No pleasantries, just the press of lips and the slide of a hand against Kyuhyun’s side.
It was like watching a leaf unfurl to the sun, the way that Zhou Mi reached for him, opened to him. Kissing with indiscriminate need, the sound from Zhou Mi’s throat that rocked him, the feel of that jaw beneath his hand. It had been days ago, the teasing kiss at Satin that had made them think, and it had been all he could think about in the quiet moments, just kissing Zhou Mi, again and again. Tasting his mouth, his warmth, being held, and some sort of singular promise written across Zhou Mi’s very being.
This was the man who would plaster himself to Kyuhyun’s back to keep from seeing a bunch of bugs, and who tried to teach him to cook. Zhou Mi, who very carefully, patiently, applied makeup to his face, dressed him. Laughed at him.
“Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi whispered, nudging into him.
The kiss so naturally ended, breathing against each other. “Hm?”
“Tell me what you dreamed.”
Even the thought of it had him tensing, his eyes flying open. “It was stupid. I don’t-”
“Tell me, please.”
Maybe in the dark it didn’t count, if he said it out loud, it would make it untrue. If Zhou Mi denied it, it would make him able to sleep. He let his breath out slowly.
“We were in bed,” he said, his fingers tightening where he held Zhou Mi’s shirt, words tight. He didn’t want to say them. “And I kissed you. But you pushed me away and told me…that it, I, hadn’t been worth waiting for.”
There. He’d said it.
Zhou Mi’s laugh was immediate, and then contrite. “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Kyuhyun’s mouth. “Kui Xian, please don’t think that way. Because it’s not true. You were worth waiting for.”
He felt like they’d done plenty of waiting. But it wasn’t in him to press Zhou Mi for more, not even with that reassurance. He squeezed Zhou Mi.
“You definitely were, too.”
Huh, who knew. Laughing with breathy, idiotic chuckles and kissing at the same time wasn’t that hard after all.
He couldn’t imagine wanting to stop, except that the hand rubbing his back had begun to slow. And he had woken Zhou Mi up, after all.
“Probably should sleep for tomorrow,” he whispered.
He wondered if it was with reluctance that Zhou Mi let him go, one last kiss, sort of punctuating their moment. He didn’t really know what else to say. But it seemed like the closer he got to his side of the bed, the closer that Zhou Mi got to him. Like they used to do, when they talked about their days at work, when Zhou Mi would get an arm over him and Kyuhyun would wonder if he didn’t just hear his heart beating out of his chest. It was different now, Zhou Mi’s nose pressing sweet to Kyuhyun’s cheek, sort of breathing out his name in a way that made him shiver with so many kinds of want. One hand holding Kyuhyun’s, the other over his ribs. Locked and held. He let his face rock closer to Zhou Mi’s, sighing out any last bits of tension. It was hard not to be content, with the biggest cuddler he had ever known glomming onto him. It was up to him to adjust the covers, since Zhou Mi seemed focused on passing out. Maybe it seemed like he was the one being protected, the way that Zhou Mi held him. But then, it was his head partially sheltering Zhou Mi’s, so maybe… He adjusted his hand a little more solidly into Zhou Mi’s, and fell asleep.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, Romance
Warning: crossdressing
Summary: Out of work, Kyuhyun's last ditch effort lands him a curious roommate - and a job he never expected.
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six * Chapter Seven * Chapter Eight * Chapter Nine * Chapter Ten * Chapter Eleven * Chapter Twelve * Chapter Thirteen
***
Probably the worst time to have things unsettled between them was the week that Zhou Mi’s parents would be visiting. All their plans had revolved around that morning having the bed frame and mattress delivered. After his first initial moment of panic, sickness, pessimism, and hope, he found that waking with Zhou Mi breathing down the back of his shirt had a way of spinning the day into a positive light. Still, he’d pushed himself out of bed before he could turn and pin Zhou Mi to the mattress. By the time Zhou Mi had woke, showered, and dressed, he was on his second hour of gaming.
“Bed should be here in about two hours,” he called to Zhou Mi
“I’m going to go out and get some food, then,” Zhou Mi said. “Did you need anything? Want anything for lunch?”
“Anything that sounds good to you,” he said, and kept his eyes on his keyboard.
Though he stared at the door balefully after Zhou Mi closed it behind him. Maybe he should’ve offered to go along. But it wasn’t like Zhou Mi was going on safari to Africa, he was just going around the corner. And he didn’t often offer to go along unless he really was going crazy in the house. And if he analyzed it for one second longer he was going to hit himself.
Still, he was on his feet as soon as the door opened, taking a couple of the bags from Zhou Mi and poking through them on the way to the kitchen. “Oh, chicken. Awesome.”
“Want to learn how to cook it?”
He laughed as he dumped all the contents of the bags into a pile onto the counter. Knowing Zhou Mi would be wincing behind him. “You think that’s a great idea?”
“Sure. Then I can brag about you to my parents.”
That gave him pause, because he didn’t trust that Zhou Mi wasn’t going to suggest he do something like actually do the cooking one day. He didn’t think he’d want to do it even if he practiced cooking something every single meal until Zhou Mi’s parents arrived. Zhou Mi might think it was cute, but he’d rather be the cute dumb puppy in the corner than the puppy who tried to roll over and got stuck on his pudgy stomach.
“It’s not like I’m going to cook it for them,” he said skeptically.
“It’ll be fun, I promise,” Zhou Mi assured him, grinning and sort of rubbing their elbows together in a way that tickled. Tickled in so many ways.
“Fun, says the executioner,” Kyuhyun intoned, but he knew his eyes were saying anything but. He hadn’t really expected to get up and talk over everything they’d talked about the night before. It wasn’t quite like a suspended breath, he thought, as he watched Zhou Mi wash the chicken. Nothing that morning had been particularly abnormal, except the waking up part.
He chopped the vegetables while Zhou Mi took care of the chicken, mixing up a sauce for it. Zhou Mi sort of explained the concept of the dish, how to make it, doing everything possible to get the information into his novice brain. He definitely let Zhou Mi take care of the peppers, because knowing himself he’d be in pain forever. The oil had heated to Zhou Mi’s satisfaction while they worked and he handed Kyuhyun the stirrer and the chicken and stepped aside.
“If you eat charcoal for lunch, don’t blame me,” he warned.
“I have faith in you, Kui Xian.”
The grin did make him feel a little better. The sizzle startled him, but the smell of cooking chicken wafted almost immediately, and he was determined, concentrating on moving it around to make sure it cooked evenly. That much at least he knew. And as he was getting more comfortable, he had a Zhou Mi wrapping his arms around his chest and leaning over his shoulder.
“You’re doing good,” Zhou Mi said. “It’s about time to put in the vegetables.”
He glanced askance at the man holding him. “Is this a new teaching technique that I hadn’t heard about?”
They both shook as Zhou Mi giggled. “Do you like it?”
“I think if more chefs used it, they’d have students lining up around the block.”
“It’s my Kui Xian teaching trick.” And he squeezed Kyuhyun to prove it.
It was so easy, the light flirtation. Scraping the vegetables into the pan and moving the food around. Adding the sauce as Zhou Mi talked about the food, never letting him go.
He blew on a piece of chicken, holding it up to Zhou Mi’s mouth.
“Mm, good,” Zhou Mi said. “Good job, Kui Xian.”
“I just stirred things around. You’re the one who-”
His whole body flashed cold as Zhou Mi kissed his cheek.
“No, you did a lot,” Zhou Mi said, extracting himself to take down plates.
What did that mean? A kiss on the cheek? Was that the in-between phase of Zhou Mi thinking about “them”?
Still, with rice the food was really good. Not that he felt that he had much to do with that still. He got to watch Zhou Mi eat it, though, and that was a highlight no matter what there was to eat. Zhou Mi was a very focused eater, and he had admired many times over the way he held his chopsticks. Filling a stomach had never seemed so compelling.
“We’re doing good on time,” Zhou Mi said, startling him out of the fantasy he’d been having about Zhou Mi’s hands.
“Yeah. I guess it’s my turn to do the dishes?”
“You cooked!”
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes as he picked up Zhou Mi’s plate. “I know that all these dishes are very hard up and crying out for you, but I can manage, I promise. I just assisted.”
“No, you cooked. I’ll do the dishes.”
The stubborn chin had come out to play, and he sighed. What use was there in arguing with that? He did help, though, putting away what they had left out, stacking dishes for Zhou Mi. Helping by standing beside him and watching. Watching as Zhou Mi almost put a dish with food on it into their little dish drainer.
“Do you need a lesson in dishwashing?” he teased, pushing himself off the counter. He made sure Zhou Mi didn’t have any knives in his hand as he wrapped his arms around Zhou Mi from behind. “I can probably help with that.”
“I’d have to see your credentials,” Zhou Mi retorted, cleaning the dish properly.
“You’ve already seen them. I can see why this’d be a popular teaching method.”
Had Zhou Mi just shivered? He stared at the stiffly held neck and Zhou Mi’s jaw. And he seemed to be breathing through his teeth as Kyuhyun held him. But he wasn’t being told to go away, so he just smiled into Zhou Mi’s shoulder.
The last pot got set aside, and Zhou Mi wiggled a little victory dance.
“King of the dishes?” Kyuhyun asked him.
“Thanks for your support,” Zhou Mi said, leaning back into him.
Their cheekbones almost slammed together as they both jumped at the knock on the door, each going the wrong way.
“The bed!” Zhou Mi exclaimed, wriggling away.
He followed more sedately as the door opened to reveal the men with the bed frame they had bought. The men who delivered the bed made short work of setting it up. Way shorter than it would’ve taken him or Zhou Mi. They just sort of stayed out of the way, making impressed eyebrow motions at each other. And with the mattress on, it looked even better. And while Zhou Mi took care of paying the men, he got to what he’d wanted to do since the start: jumping right on it. It had a nice amount of give, but not too much as he flopped onto his back, wriggling. It was pretty okay, though.
He held on tight as the whole bed bounced under Zhou Mi’s weight.
“Had the same idea, huh?” he asked, laughing as Zhou Mi bounced around a little.
“Yeah! I had to make sure this wasn’t the better bed. What do you think? Do you like it more than our bed?”
The ceiling was very, very interesting in the wake of that question, because looking at Zhou Mi’s face wasn’t an option. Our bed. He definitely couldn’t answer back in those terms. Yeah, our bed is better. He’d have gotten used to a rotted plank if it had Zhou Mi in it with him. Probably. He just would’ve complained a lot more doing it.
“I think the other mattress is better,” he said. “This is a little firmer. Your parents should like it more.”
Zhou Mi nodded vigorously. “That’s what I was thinking. And I would’ve hated to have dragged all of my stuff in here so they could have that bed instead. Want to help me put the sheets on?”
“Sure.”
But they lay there a few moments more, at least until Zhou Mi elbowed him. But he got a solid slap to Zhou Mi’s hip in retaliation. Because the bed was the same size as Zhou Mi’s, they used a set of extra sheets. The nicer set, according to Zhou Mi, though he really couldn’t tell any difference himself. Putting on a nice blanket, and putting pillowcases on the new pillows Zhou Mi had gotten, too. It was as perfect as the two of them could manage, in any case, he thought, smoothing down a wrinkle in the blanket.
“I think they’ll be comfortable in here. There’s plenty of room for their bags,” Kyuhyun said. “At least Heechul got the rest of his junk out.”
“I think so, too!” Zhou Mi looked so pleased with himself, that undercurrent of excitement to be seeing his parents. “You’ll get to have some of my mom’s cooking. It is the best.”
“What, she didn’t teach you?” he asked, all innocence as he tried to keep himself from ogling Zhou Mi’s butt as they went back to the front room.
“Kui Xian!”
He chuckled, plopping down with his computer on the floor. “Come on, you asked for that one.”
Zhou Mi settled close to him, but on the couch. “I like what I cook.”
“You’ve made me gain weight.”
And though his tone was displeased, he scooted back so that he could lean against the bottom of the couch, his shoulder against Zhou Mi’s leg. It was a position they’d been in a hundred times, but never with uncertainty between them. He was doing his best to try and be normal and not get on his knees blubbering and begging like an overgrown child. He’d made his case, he was there. It was up to Zhou Mi to take it. There wasn’t anywhere else he wanted to be right then, or an hour later, when he’d slouched down, dozing against Zhou Mi’s thigh as Zhou Mi softly massaged his scalp. There was no need for counting sheep around Zhou Mi, not when he did that. But he stayed like that until Zhou Mi had to get up to use the restroom, and went back to his game, and to his tenuous grasp on sanity.
***
Kyuhyun felt no steadier as the afternoon went by, listening to Zhou Mi working out without actively meaning to, listening to Zhou Mi chat into his phone as he made out the bills and checked his email. He didn’t usually watch as Zhou Mi typed, but every so often, he just couldn’t help himself. Watching the long arms, and the cocked wrists, and those fingers. The way that Zhou Mi used his little finger and sort of tapped almost silently as he thought, not hard enough to press a key, but just a movement. He wondered what put that thoughtful look on Zhou Mi’s face, wondered if it had anything to do with him. It was a hopeful thought. Or, at least an I’m-pretty-pleased-with-life sort of expression.
He was pretty pleased, too, making his way every so nonchalantly to Zhou Mi and the computer.
“Hey,” he said, putting his hand on the upper edge of the laptop screen. Just waiting for Zhou Mi and his very dark, gorgeous eyes to look up at him. “Hungry?”
Zhou Mi blinked, considering. “I am almost.”
He managed to not let his face do anything stupid, but the hand at his side was definitely clenching as he thought. It wasn’t like he was asking Zhou Mi on a date. Just suggesting he get food. But if Zhou Mi wanted to see it as a date, then it wasn’t like he minded, exactly. He tried for neutral, not using the obvious ‘with me’ phrasing.
“Want to go out to dinner tonight?”
“Sure!” Zhou Mi responded almost immediately. “Where do you want to go?”
“I’m up for anything,” he said. “What sounds good?”
“You decide, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said, standing. “I’ll eat anything. I’ll start getting ready, okay?”
He nodded, wondering at Zhou Mi’s smile as he passed. What sounded good. Sushi, he decided. It was something they hadn’t had in a while, and he knew it was something that Zhou Mi enjoyed. If they were going to have a first date, unofficial or not, he wanted it to be something they both enjoyed. Maybe a little kiss goodnight afterward?
But he managed to keep himself under control as Zhou Mi emerged, freshened and beaming. So immediately agreeing that sushi sounded good. And standing beside him, watching Zhou Mi from beneath his arm as they hung on in the subway car. Maybe it was a date. Maybe. Whatever it was, they were together, and that was good.
“We get off here?” he asked, and at the confirmation, followed Zhou Mi.
What did they look like? Sitting together in their little booth, laughing at some ridiculous text Zhou Mi had gotten. Talking about what else they needed for the room for Zhou Mi’s parents. Sharing a sampler of sushi. Relaxing over tea and bulging stomachs. He wondered if they looked like a couple, the way he admired Zhou Mi’s face. Or the way that Zhou Mi reached to touch his hand to emphasize a point as he talked. Something that was so normal between them, but different because he thought that they saw every move they took differently. Almost like they were looking with new eyes. Or at least, he was. But there was a tilt to Zhou Mi’s lips. And he knew Zhou Mi well enough to know he was happy.
***
“I’m not going to be able to eat until your parents get here,” Kyuhyun groaned, collapsing on the floor by the couch.
“No, no, you have to keep eating, or you won’t be able to help!”
He swatted at Zhou Mi’s hand. “I see how it is. You need my help.”
“You know better,” Zhou Mi said, rocking his shoulder again. “Hey, watch this drama with me?”
He tore his eyes from his email to where a hospital scene was unfolding. At least it wasn’t one of the romance-y kind of thing he listened to some nights while gaming. He pushed himself up with a grunt, and half rolled into Zhou Mi when he sat on the couch.
“Your parents are going to hate this couch. Just as my role of helper, you should know that.”
“I like it,” Zhou Mi said, tucking Kyuhyun’s arm under his. “It promotes closeness.”
He laughed until Zhou Mi shushed him, and turned his attention back to the doctors on the screen. If Zhou Mi wanted to hang onto him and rub his hand, that was fine.
He decided that Zhou Mi wasn’t actually trying to turn him on. He just couldn’t have known that touching Kyuhyun like that would be quite so enticing. Any touching. Maybe unless he had a razor in his hand, because Kyuhyun had standards, thank you very much. But the way Zhou Mi massaged between his knuckles, stretching out his fingers, along his palm and the base of his thumb. He was paying way more attention to watching Zhou Mi’s fingers work than he was on the show, and he wondered if Zhou Mi was even paying attention to it. He didn’t actually care, because he had his head on Zhou Mi’s shoulder, and Zhou Mi’s hands on some part of him at least.
“Do you get cramps gaming sometimes?” Zhou Mi asked.
“They get stiff, and sometimes sore if I forget how long I’ve been going. My eyes get really dry first though. Headaches. You do brain massage, too?”
Zhou Mi laughed, and slid their fingers tightly together. Against the top of his head, Zhou Mi’s cheek nestled. “Maybe by osmosis?”
“Brain to brain massage?” he asked, letting their heads rock and rub for a moment.
“Good thing I like you. I wouldn’t do that for just anyone.”
“Watch your drama,” he admonished, squeezing the hand holding his.
Even on the stupid, broken couch, it was comfortable there. Seeing which of their hands could engulf more of the other, having his head as a prop for Zhou Mi’s. Watching as the last of the dramatic scenes on the screen finished and it segued to commercials and news.
“Tired?” Zhou Mi asked.
“Probably should shower. Preference?”
“Of who goes first?”
He cackled. “Yeah. I wasn’t asking if you wanted to share.”
And then there was silence.
A lot of silence.
Until Zhou Mi’s stomach began to tremble, great gulping laughs erupting as he not only turned, but all but covered Kyuhyun. He patted Zhou Mi’s back as his neck was giggled into, not even bothering to hide his own laughter.
“I’m an easy date,” Kyuhyun said. “Dinner and a shower.”
“Not if I just fall asleep on you right here,” Zhou Mi threatened.
“And you’ll walk around for me tomorrow? Great.”
His eyes closed as Zhou Mi kissed his cheek. So close to the ending of the night that he’d been expecting. He’d even called it a date, and Zhou Mi had not balked or argued. Like it was expected, and that what they were doing together was something that Zhou Mi wanted. Taking those little steps together.
“I don’t like things being uneasy between us,” Zhou Mi said, squeezing him.. “I’m glad we still… I’m glad.”
“Yeah,” he breathed. “Me too.”
“Go, have your shower first,” Zhou Mi told him, easing back far enough to allow Kyuhyun to stand. Even patting his butt to get him moving. No, they weren’t sharing a shower yet, but everything happened in order. There’d definitely come a time when Zhou Mi knew just how much Kyuhyun wanted him. That wasn’t today, but it sure felt a heck of a lot closer than yesterday.
He was quick about it, snickering as he came out of the bathroom.
“Hey, it’s ready!” he called out, opening the door before he gathered his dirty clothes.
“That was fast!”
“Yeah, I know. I left you something in there,” he said, sidestepping to admit Zhou Mi. “Don’t take too long, okay?”
“I’ll be quick,” Zhou Mi promised.
He’d left a little message on the mirror with the colored lip gloss Zhou Mi had left on the counter from work. Don’t fog me, the mirror seemed to plead, in reference to Zhou Mi’s hot water use. He waited at the corner until he heard Zhou Mi’s laughter.
He got a cup of water to set on his bedside table, arranging the covers how he liked them. He knew that Zhou Mi didn’t need a light to get in bed, so he was happy to just lay there in the dark. Thinking. Holding hands while watching tv, just sitting together. Having dinner. It was the kind of dating that he had always idealized. Low pressure, high on comfort, with that edge of awareness that shouted of endless interest. Attraction, he had no problem admitting. The leading edge of fear, the wishing, that had kind of choked him, had receded. He didn’t exactly have a written guarantee from Zhou Mi, or even a verbal one. If it took dinner and cuddling to make Zhou Mi understand he was serious, then that was what they were doing. Or if Zhou Mi wanted to bother. No. He shook that thought off again. Zhou Mi wouldn’t lead him on, if there was one thing that he was sure of.
Zhou Mi puttered into the room, and he saw Zhou Mi’s cell phone light up as he set it aside. Mattress dipping a little as he crawled into bed. Zhou Mi’s mouth almost crashed into his cheekbone, causing him to laugh as they turned toward each other. But he got a true kiss on the cheek, Zhou Mi capturing his hand. They were so close in the dark, he could feel Zhou Mi’s breath puff lightly against his chin. All he had to do was lean forward, and he could show Zhou Mi all the things he’d wanted to. He swallowed both his pride and his patience, pressing his own mouth to Zhou Mi’s cheek, before letting his forehead lean against Zhou Mi’s.
“Seems like it’s been a long day and a short day,” Zhou Mi murmured.
“Mmhmm. Fun, though.”
Zhou Mi sighed. “Yes. Sleep well, Kui Xian.”
“You too.”
He wondered which of them were going to let go first, moving to their usual positions. And smiled as he heard Zhou Mi’s breathing even. Neither of them, it seemed.
***
Zhou Mi, Zhou Mi, Zhou Mi, his mind chanted. He reached for that face, that mouth against his. Moaning, as Zhou Mi moved against him. Zhou Mi was amazing, and it was no surprise. Every single thing he had imagined had barely felt this good. And that knot of tension he had been carrying started to fade, because everything he had worried about was right there, against him. But he wanted more again, Zhou Mi’s weight on him. Feeling him. Not like some damsel in distress, but like a partner, mimicking an act they probably weren’t ready to complete. Okay, so maybe he was ready. But Zhou Mi might not be yet. And that was okay.
There was so much else for them. Like a hundred years on Zhou Mi’s mouth. His lips were incredible, but that he’d known already. And inch by inch, barely allowing enough room for breath, Zhou Mi edged above him. Knees staggered, but it was still Zhou Mi above him, chests together, working the angle of that kiss, and his whole body shuddering with the bliss of it. Undone by a kiss, his mind mocked. But it was Zhou Mi. It wasn’t like it was something ordinary.
And even as his lips stung, he wanted more, eyes opening as Zhou Mi’s head lifted. The corners of his lips curled as Zhou Mi panted above him, eyes huge. Yes, that was what he had been wanting. Now, finally Zhou Mi knew. He lifted his head, hoping for another kiss, and was shocked when Zhou Mi struggled off of him.
“I can’t do this,” Zhou Mi said, diving for the edge and stumbling so hard getting out of the covers that he actually went down on his knees.
“Do what?” Was that his voice? It was only Zhou Mi on the floor that gave him time to unfreeze from the impromptu escape, following only slightly more gracefully, but keeping Zhou Mi from standing up. Kind of literally as he all but sank into Zhou Mi’s lap. Everything he’d wanted had been right there, so why was it all going wrong? He was grasping at Zhou Mi like some kind of barnacle, trying to understand. Things had been fine when they were kissing. He’d been trying to show Zhou Mi how wrong he’d been.
“Get off of me!”
“No, not until you tell me why you’re upset! Zhou Mi…”
He tried to kiss him again, tried to engage that frowning mouth, and was shocked to find himself on the floor, Zhou Mi standing.
“A kiss like that wasn’t worth waiting for,” Zhou Mi said, not even bothering to look at him.
Which meant, you weren’t worth waiting for.
“Wait!” All he wanted was an explanation, or…
He woke with the realization that he’d dragged half the covers up onto his chest, and he heaved them down, sitting with the feeling that he still needed to be reaching out for Zhou Mi. Just a freaking dream. The bed shifted beside him and he cursed himself inside. Of course Zhou Mi would wake up with him shaking the bed like they were in some ocean storm.
“Kui Xian? Are you all right?”
Just want to be sure that you want me, his mind whispered.
“It was a nightmare. It’s okay, don’t worry.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Zhou Mi’s hand was warm against the cool skin of his arm, and it made him shiver.
“I’m okay, really. I’ll fix the blankets.”
He thought about locking himself in the bathroom, but staying where he was had more appeal. There wasn’t a Zhou Mi in the bathroom, and there was one here. Zhou Mi was still awake, watching him, as he had just about felt steady enough to lay back. It had just been a dream. But it in some way reflected reality. He wanted to kiss Zhou Mi, badly. And he worried about it. Maybe after a nightmare like that wasn’t the best time, but then again, maybe it was. He was already freaked out.
He watched very closely to make sure that Zhou Mi wasn’t trying to avoid it. It wasn’t like Kyuhyun was very subtle. He didn’t have any ability left in himself to be subtle. He got himself close as gracefully as a beaching walrus, and with no other part of them touching, kissed Zhou Mi. He had to pull half away, adjust, make their mouths fit just so, so he could press more effectively, urge Zhou Mi to kiss him back. Zhou Mi’s mouth was stiff with surprise at first, and then so giving, melting into the kiss as though he wanted nothing else. It wasn’t words, no, but they’d had other things without words, too. He knew without words that Zhou Mi was his friend, that with him he wanted more than he thought possible. And all he wanted to do was show it in this one kiss. Begging Zhou Mi to listen, to hear what was unsaid, and see.
But he dipped his head, remembering at last to breathe, eyes closed and chest heaving. He had not run a marathon, it had just been a kiss. A kiss, Zhou Mi unsuspecting, warm, the heat from him puffing beside his mouth.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. He did not want Zhou Mi to think that he was pressuring him at all. Trying to seduce him with kisses. Trying to sway him that way. But just the fact that Zhou Mi had kissed him back had the gritting fear inside him calming.
“Why are you sorry, Kui Xian?” Zhou Mi asked softly.
“Because I don’t want you to think I’m…Mm.”
No matter what he didn’t want, Zhou Mi had nudged close, cutting him off without much finesse. No pleasantries, just the press of lips and the slide of a hand against Kyuhyun’s side.
It was like watching a leaf unfurl to the sun, the way that Zhou Mi reached for him, opened to him. Kissing with indiscriminate need, the sound from Zhou Mi’s throat that rocked him, the feel of that jaw beneath his hand. It had been days ago, the teasing kiss at Satin that had made them think, and it had been all he could think about in the quiet moments, just kissing Zhou Mi, again and again. Tasting his mouth, his warmth, being held, and some sort of singular promise written across Zhou Mi’s very being.
This was the man who would plaster himself to Kyuhyun’s back to keep from seeing a bunch of bugs, and who tried to teach him to cook. Zhou Mi, who very carefully, patiently, applied makeup to his face, dressed him. Laughed at him.
“Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi whispered, nudging into him.
The kiss so naturally ended, breathing against each other. “Hm?”
“Tell me what you dreamed.”
Even the thought of it had him tensing, his eyes flying open. “It was stupid. I don’t-”
“Tell me, please.”
Maybe in the dark it didn’t count, if he said it out loud, it would make it untrue. If Zhou Mi denied it, it would make him able to sleep. He let his breath out slowly.
“We were in bed,” he said, his fingers tightening where he held Zhou Mi’s shirt, words tight. He didn’t want to say them. “And I kissed you. But you pushed me away and told me…that it, I, hadn’t been worth waiting for.”
There. He’d said it.
Zhou Mi’s laugh was immediate, and then contrite. “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you.” He pressed a gentle kiss to Kyuhyun’s mouth. “Kui Xian, please don’t think that way. Because it’s not true. You were worth waiting for.”
He felt like they’d done plenty of waiting. But it wasn’t in him to press Zhou Mi for more, not even with that reassurance. He squeezed Zhou Mi.
“You definitely were, too.”
Huh, who knew. Laughing with breathy, idiotic chuckles and kissing at the same time wasn’t that hard after all.
He couldn’t imagine wanting to stop, except that the hand rubbing his back had begun to slow. And he had woken Zhou Mi up, after all.
“Probably should sleep for tomorrow,” he whispered.
He wondered if it was with reluctance that Zhou Mi let him go, one last kiss, sort of punctuating their moment. He didn’t really know what else to say. But it seemed like the closer he got to his side of the bed, the closer that Zhou Mi got to him. Like they used to do, when they talked about their days at work, when Zhou Mi would get an arm over him and Kyuhyun would wonder if he didn’t just hear his heart beating out of his chest. It was different now, Zhou Mi’s nose pressing sweet to Kyuhyun’s cheek, sort of breathing out his name in a way that made him shiver with so many kinds of want. One hand holding Kyuhyun’s, the other over his ribs. Locked and held. He let his face rock closer to Zhou Mi’s, sighing out any last bits of tension. It was hard not to be content, with the biggest cuddler he had ever known glomming onto him. It was up to him to adjust the covers, since Zhou Mi seemed focused on passing out. Maybe it seemed like he was the one being protected, the way that Zhou Mi held him. But then, it was his head partially sheltering Zhou Mi’s, so maybe… He adjusted his hand a little more solidly into Zhou Mi’s, and fell asleep.
***