[Fic] Black Satin - 5/14
Title: Black Satin
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, Romance
Warning: crossdressing
Summary: Out of work, Kyuhyun's last ditch effort lands him a curious roommate - and a job he never expected.
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six
***
***
Kyuhyun thought he had actually gotten away with hiding the bruises on his thigh, asking for a longer skirt, keeping his pants on so Zhou Mi wouldn’t see. It wasn’t like he wanted to be fussed over, and he didn’t want Zhou Mi to feel guilty about it. That was all.
Of course, his mistake was the fact that he touched the bruises, probing at them, really, on his break. Not knowing that Zhou Mi was watching him. He did it kind of absently, and didn’t expect someone would be flipping up his skirt two seconds later.
“Hey!”
“You said he didn’t hurt you!” Zhou Mi said, spotting the obvious dark marks on Kyuhyun’s skin. “You should have told me!”
“They’re bruises? What could you have done?” he asked. Oh, that was not a place he wanted Zhou mi in public. “I don’t think even kissing it would’ve made it better.”
“But I would have known! And maybe there’s something we could’ve done. You should have told me. I’m surprised you even wanted to come back…”
In the tug-o-war with his skirt, he nearly missed the expression on Zhou Mi’s face. An echo of right after the injury had been put down, sort of guilty and and regretful. Sure it was different and it was weird, but the last thing he wanted was for Zhou Mi to regret him being there. And it wasn’t like he didn’t appreciate the concern, because he did. It sort of bubbled up in the back of his head. But he just really wanted Zhou Mi to feel better about it, all while inching the cloth back down his thigh.
“It’s not like he bit off one of my fingers. You must think I’m some kind of a wimp?”
“No. No, but…” Zhou Mi huffed out a breath. “If I knew, I could’ve… I don’t know what I could’ve told you. We could’ve gotten his name, and we could’ve beaten him up.”
“He won’t ever be let back in the club. That’s enough isn’t it? I didn’t break. It’s just a few bruises. You can’t tell me you haven’t been grabbed before.”
“Yeah, but you can see every finger…”
He swore his skin went cold before flushing hot, almost making him dizzy as Zhou Mi’s fingers lined up with the bruises, fingers cool against his skin. He coughed, trying to remember how to breathe properly.
“Hang on, I need to go to the bathroom,” he said, standing as quickly as he could. For once, he was grateful that there were private bathrooms in the back. He pressed his arms to the cool walls.
There were a lot of things in life he could deny, but that the man’s hand on his thigh had sent sparking pleasure all the way up his spine? How ironic, that he was dressed like a woman, and thinking it must be nice that when they got aroused, it wasn’t out there for all the world to see. He could’ve just grabbed Zhou Mi’s hand and dragged it up, over the material of the skirt until he felt what his stupid, worrying hands was doing to him. But then in his head Zhou Mi’s face turned shocked and appalled.
Zhou Mi was concerned, and that was the way that he should take it. Not some kind of suggestion for what Zhou Mi would like to do to him after hours. Running hands up his thighs, and… Though the way that Zhou Mi had just treated him, it seemed like he was more likely to get him a cup of tea. That should be enough.
Thankfully everything was under control when he went back a couple of minutes later, Zhou Mi looking him up and down as though he’d gotten more bruises just in that short trip.
“I’m going to get back out there, okay?”
The longer he was out there, the more tips he made, and the quicker he could pay Zhou Mi for the rent, and feel like he really deserved having a place there.
“Let me know if you need anything. Anything, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi whispered to him as the door into Satin’s main room opened for them.
“Yeah. I will.”
He probably sounded pretty sincere. And it wasn’t as though the night was very eventful. Go out, talk to a few guys, that was it. It was like the world saw all the drama of before and just let him sink into an easy night for once. Anything to keep his mind off of Zhou Mi, and the fact that it was hard to ignore that the man wasn’t very far away and no doubt keeping a close eye on Kyuhyun. Like he was five. He scoffed. He was still a man. He had a fist. And the soles of the shoes he had on weren’t anything he’d personally want threatening his crotch.
He tried to give Zhou Mi a reassuring smile when he came out of the bathroom, all the makeup washed off. Back in his regular clothes. He could get a tattoo for his masculinity? That didn’t sound very appealing. But on their way home, he guaranteed himself that he wasn’t going to get under the covers of Zhou Mi’s bed tonight. He’d sit on top of the covers, which wasn’t nearly as suggestive or comfortable. It wasn’t his fault that the mattress and fluffy comforter all but sucked him into it, blazing his body heat back like a fuzzy furnace of comfort. He’d just satisfy himself by sitting on top of it and when Zhou Mi was finished picking his brain, he could go back to the lumpy mattress on the floor.
It wasn’t fair that Zhou Mi had laid back the covers on both sides when he walked in. To put up the covers to sit on top seemed like a very obvious thing. And he couldn’t just sit on the bare bed and not pull up the covers, because he’d be letting heat out of Zhou Mi’s side of the bed. It was like the man knew what he was thinking. So he’d just stay sitting up, that was it. Scooting the pillow up against the headboard and pulling the covers up as far as they would comfortably go. He still felt conspicuous but at least not quite as much as he’d feared.
“How’s your leg?” Zhou Mi asked.
“It’s fine,” Kyuhyun said, drawing up his knees almost in self-defense, just in case Zhou Mi decided to feel for himself.
“Oh, I had some cream…”
Zhou Mi all but bounded out of bed, coming back with a pot of ointment. “My mom sent this to me. It’s supposed to be good for bruises and things. You should use some. It probably smells weird, but if it helps…”
“Yeah, I’ll…”
He was going to say that he’d put it on later, but Zhou Mi was stripping back the covers.
“Let’s put it on now.”
Ah, too many people involved in that offer again.
“I’ll go put it on myself,” Kyuhyun said, grabbing the container and edging past Zhou Mi. “I don’t think you want it on your sheets.”
And he definitely did not want Zhou Mi’s hand slathering some kind of goo on his thigh. His palm slapped his head a little too hard at that thought. He didn’t think he’d want to bathe in it, but it went on okay. He eased his pajamas over it, washing his hands. It made his skin feel cool as he went back into Zhou Mi’s room, the pillow and covers all back in place like Zhou Mi was just waiting for him to get in and lay down.
“You should be relaxing,” Zhou Mi said, as though he were going to fuss if Kyuhyun didn’t lay down.
As though their job was very hard labor, and his bones were aching. He gave up, letting his back relax into the softness of the mattress. He’d just be very careful to not get comfortable, that was all.
“I think you worry too much. I know you feel responsible or whatever, but I’m not five years old. I can take care of myself. Not that I’m not grateful for you guidance and I don’t think I know everything, yet. But you can relax a little, I think.”
He wasn’t sure if he expected Zhou Mi to get angry with that pronouncement or what, but the worry on Zhou Mi’s face kind of faded with a smile.
“I guess you’re right, Kui Xian. I can keep telling you everything I know, but it’s up to you now. I just want you to know you can come to me if you need anything. I’d hate it if you blamed me.”
“Believe me, if I have a question, you’ll know. Maybe I could start dressing myself?”
Zhou Mi laughed as though Kyuhyun had said something funny. “Maybe I will stop trying to hold your hand through everything and teach you about makeup, but I’ve seen your clothes.”
Well. So that idea had gotten shot down rather thoroughly. But he didn’t really mind so much, if Zhou Mi wanted to keep picking out his clothes. Part of it was probably the undivided attention. The rest of it he wasn’t going to guess at. He sighed, and caught himself tugging the blanket a little closer.
“Stay tonight, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said, as though he thought Kyuhyun was about to get up and leave.
“Are you sure?”
“I don’t mind.”
It wasn’t like he had ever had an easy time getting himself back out. Of course, as he pondered how to ask if Zhou Mi really meant it, he fell asleep anyway.
***
Zhou Mi dragged him out for a late dessert after work, and he was fine for that. The alternative was just going home and crawling into bed. Zhou Mi’s bed. Which was fine, but getting a little bit harder on his sense of stability. What he really needed to do was make sure Heechul got the rest of his junk out of the other room so he could go and find some kind of second-hand bed frame and a mattress and get back his sense of himself. He’d had no idea he could get so used to sleeping next to someone so fast. So it wasn’t like he was losing sleep or anything, except the rare time in the middle of the night Zhou Mi would be dreaming and make some kind of noise that was probably a dream-noise and not a sex-noise, but Kyuhyun’s brain had clearly decided for him. That kind of throaty startled grunt that woke him up and made him roll onto his stomach and bury his face in the pillow. Most nights he fell asleep without suffocating himself.
They got bubble teas and the remnants of the day’s dessert, chocolate pudding for Zhou Mi, and some kind of rich dark chocolate cake for him. And for once, instead of talking about what had happened that night, they were playing the “best things about ____” game. Best thing about sports, best thing about haircuts, best thing about the Internet. They had pretty much worked through most of their lives when Zhou Mi had a thought.
“Best thing about food,” he threw out.
“Eating it,” Kyuhyun said wryly.
“Okay…That’s really good, but I mean, isn’t there something more? Like… Isn’t one of the best things about food being able to taste it?”
“Well, yeah, that’s good, but so’s feeling full, and a whole bunch of of other stuff. I mean, asking what’s the best thing about eating is like asking what’s the best thing about sex.”
Zhou Mi’s spoon paused where he had been about to scoop up some more of his pudding. A fact that gave Kyuhyun reason to get distracted, as Zhou Mi thoughtfully probed the corner of his mouth where a tiny smear of pudding still was. He tried very hard not to copy the action, or imagine that he was licking it off of Zhou Mi instead.
“The best thing about sex…” Zhou Mi mused.
And Kyuhyun cursed his mouth. Why did he have to bring up something like that anyway? He should have known that Zhou Mi would take him seriously.
“You don’t have to-” he began, until Zhou Mi kind of waved him off with his spoon.
“You know, right after? The world is kind of warm and cozy. And if you’re in bed, you can kind of snuggle and float in it. That’s part of the best part anyway.”
“You’re a cuddler?” he asked without much inflection. Not like he didn’t know. But not in that context. It made sense, obviously.
“Well, if you’ve just been inside someone, I don’t know what difference it makes if you hold on after,” Zhou Mi pointed out rather determinedly. And in such a way that it had Kyuhyun looking around to make sure their corner of the restaurant was just as deserted as it had been a little while before.
This was a moment he should’ve been able to just pause reality, because suddenly he knew two things about Zhou Mi’s sexual preferences that he had not thought he’d be finding out quite like this. Or ever. The part that Zhou Mi cuddled, when Zhou Mi had taken to doing that same thing to him when they talked sometimes, wasn’t surprising. Zhou Mi kind of thrived on human touch or something. But the topping thing, that was the part that made him need to think. Those were the mental images that were lambasting him, of Zhou Mi crawling up his body, pressing kisses up his chest. Clinging to Zhou Mi’s shoulders as they writhed and moaned, mouth so hot against his as he pressed up for a kiss. He could even see the aftermath, coiling close to Zhou Mi, breath evening against his chin, smile lazy and satisfied. He could see being a cuddler, after all that. Zhou Mi would make it seem like the most important thing in the-
“AHH!” he exclaimed, jerking his hand back from the sudden touch. Through his fingers he could see Zhou Mi’s shocked face at Kyuhyun’s reaction to what had assuredly been nothing but a gentle touch.
“W-what?” he stuttered, hoping his face in the dim light looked just as normal. He kept himself from waving air toward his heating cheeks and focused on the remnants of his cake instead. What he really needed was a glass of ice water. Probably everywhere.
“You just covered your face all of a sudden like you were in pain. I didn’t know if it was brain freeze or not?” Zhou Mi asked, head cocked all cute and questioning. He was so earnest sometimes.
Kyuhyun glanced at his bubble tea. “Yeah, brain freeze.”
Brain freezing around inappropriate thoughts of sex with his roommate, yes.
***
Kyuhyun sighed and tried to keep still as Zhou Mi worked on his face. He could hear the others milling around and going out for their shifts. It didn’t really bother him. Some of them were just better at doing makeup than others, so finding someone who could help with the trickier things like eyeliner or mascara was a good thing. He’d seen the others helping pick out clothes or at least advise against some combinations so that eyes were not seared. So he didn’t think people were judging him that Zhou Mi helped him into his makeup. It was quicker than him fumbling it, and then having to get it fixed. Zhou Mi did give him little tasks, though. Adding blush, with an editing eye, because his cheeks weren’t actually supposed to resemble apples, and also powder. Lipstick and gloss as well, because if he couldn’t apply color to his mouth then he really needed to get help. Zhou Mi seemed to favor the longer wigs on him, and that was fine. Sometimes adding a clip, or a ribbon, depending on what he was wearing. Zhou Mi was like a little time clock, reminding Kyuhyun when it was time to shave his legs. It was good, because he’d probably forget otherwise. He thought sometimes that Zhou Mi knew almost as much about what was going on with his body as he did.
Though thankfully about non-embarrassing things. Like the fact that he had a hard time not following Zhou Mi’s legs. Or that sometimes when makeup was being put on or clothes were being handed to him, he had a hard time remembering that this man wasn’t his. They weren’t dating. They only ever so often slept in the same bed. Ate together. Relaxed together. They saw more of each other than anyone he knew that dated, really. And he wasn’t tired of Zhou Mi. That was the thing he was sort of surprised about. Not thinking of himself as really touchy-feely, accepting Zhou Mi’s hugs, or any of the rest. The dressing-up thing didn’t count. He thought of himself as a pretty typical man. And no, he hadn’t changed his mind on that. He was just as likely to burp or think of sex or make crude jokes as the next guy. Like the fact that he wanted to wrap his legs around Zhou Mi’s hips, and just let him go. Those arms and sturdy shoulders supporting him above Kyuhyun, little grunts as they kissed.
He shook himself out of the vision. Maybe if they both got really drunk. He wasn’t even sure how Zhou Mi saw him. Not the nuisance any more, he got that. But who knew what was going on under all those smiles?
There wasn’t really anything much to discuss about the day, as they got a snack after work. Zhou Mi mentioned offhand a couple of funny things the customers had said and Kyuhyun made fun of them, as per usual. Also as usual, Zhou Mi had to muffle his laughter in his arms as Kyuhyun imitated whoever he thought the guy was who’d made the statement. Well, he could make Zhou Mi laugh. That was one thing.
“You know, I know I was kind of stuck on you unexpectedly,” he said, trying not to click his chopsticks together. “So if you ever found someone you’d rather get to move in, or something..? You could just let me know.”
Zhou Mi finished chewing, while blinking rather solemnly at Kyuhyun. “We couldn’t find anyone to start with. It’s not like I’m contagious or anything, but they just had other places to stay. You were a nice surprise, Kui Xian. Better than anything I could have wished for. You’re not temporary, to me. You’re welcome with me until, well, until you have somewhere else to be?”
It made him feel better to hear it. He hadn’t thought Zhou Mi was looking for a way to kick him out, he just didn’t want to be an impediment or just in the way.
“I’m happy there. So I think we’re good. I just wanted to let you know.”
“Thank you, Kui Xian.” Zhou Mi beamed at him, before a thought seemed to strike him. “Though I hope I haven’t given you any reason to think I wanted you to go?”
“No, you haven’t,” Kyuhyun assured. “Besides, why would I want to move? Who’d feed me like you do?”
Zhou Mi laughed, and he was willing to bet that even a little of his satisfaction at that showed through in his smile.
***
There were times at work when it didn’t seem much like work. When it was just easy conversation aided by fruit juice in pretty glasses, or tea. Sometimes when he didn’t have someone waiting to talk to him, he just kind of observed. Not always just Zhou Mi, because for one thing he didn’t want to be caught staring. But some of the others, they were different. It wasn’t just that they were more girly, though some of them exuded that persona better than others. Or that they were nicer, because all of them were mostly nice people in the end. But it was the way that they interacted with the customers. Light touches to their wrists, laying a head on a shoulder. Little affectionate things, things he could see a girlfriend doing. And the men, for the most part, ate it up. Sort of puffing up like overinflated tires. There was kind an air of surrealness to everything that went on in the club, even if at it’s heart it was quite real. He wondered if any of the employees had ever fallen for one of the customers. He assumed it was possible. If a regular came in often enough, or talked to the same person often enough. Or maybe they had just clicked. He tried not to let his eyes flicker to Zhou Mi, dressed in blue, with a sort of jaunty wig. Had Zhou Mi ever..?
He scooted under the covers of Zhou Mi’s bed without much prodding that night, yawning as Zhou Mi puttered and climbed in beside him. His earlier thoughts, though, hadn’t left him as they talked about how it went.
“I notice that some of the guys are pretty touchy and flirty with some of the customers,” Kyuhyun said, on his side facing Zhou Mi.
Zhou Mi nodded as he slid the watch he’d been wearing onto the bedside table. “Yeah. Some of them they know better, and it’s just their personality. It’s kind of fun to watch, isn’t it?”
“Do they ever date any of them?”
“Not usually. It’s kind of frowned upon, in some ways. We never want to look like escorts. But every so often someone will just connect. It’s nice to see, really.”
“So have you ever been attracted to one of the customers? Like if they wanted a little extra?” Kyuhyun prodded.
Zhou Mi folded himself into the bed, sliding his knees under the covers in a way that Kyuhyun absolutely did not watch. He snapped his eyes up to Zhou Mi’s face the second he realized his attention was wavering.
“Not really?” Zhou Mi said, turning to face him, though not actually meeting his eyes.. “I figure if I need sex I can find it outside of that. It’s my job. And I may be fabulous enough in bed to get paid for it, but I’d rather be rewarded for it a lot differently. Why are you asking this? Are you attracted to one of the customers?”
“No!” he said, and it sounded fine except that his voice cracked on the third ascending note of it. Those eyes were suddenly too focused on him.
“Okay. Then one of the guys who work there?” Zhou Mi grabbed his shirt playfully.
“I…No. Look, no. I don’t.”
“Kui Xiiian. Come on, you can tell me!”
“No,” he said authoritatively, pushing at Zhou Mi’s hand. And that was that. Though Zhou Mi pouted at him. And he threw out the only thing he could to change the topic. Sort of. “But you only date men, right?”
“Well, yeah, I… Yeah?” Zhou Mi responded.
“Me, too.” He rolled back onto his back, resting almost beside Zhou Mi’s shoulder. Though, Zhou Mi just followed, merging into his side and getting an arm over his chest as their heads rested close.
“Why did you ask, Kui Xian?”
“I don’t know. I was just watching today and wondered. There are interesting dynamics to think about. I don’t think I’d want to date any of the guys who came in because they would want me to dress up outside of work? And that’d be awkward. So…”
“That’s a good point,” Zhou Mi murmured almost directly into his ear. He barely kept himself from shivering at it.
“Yeah, so. Yeah. We should sleep.” Crisis averted, for a second at least. “I should go. I can’t just stay in your bed forever.”
As comfortable as it was. As willing as Zhou Mi was. Considering Zhou Mi was all but melted on him like a piece of cheese, it wasn’t like he was getting kicked out. Maybe he should suggest they chat about their day at the table, or somewhere not nearly as likely to make him fall asleep.
“I don’t mind,” Zhou Mi said.
Well. That wasn’t exactly a glowing endorsement, but the way that Zhou Mi was holding him definitely said something.
“It’s not like you kept Heechul in your bed every night,” he said.
Zhou Mi giggled, breathy and warm against his neck. “No, he would have hated that.”
He, speaking of Heechul, but not Zhou Mi. And the question was all but bubbling out of him. “Would you have hated it, too?”
Zhou Mi was quiet, and though Kyuhyun imagined that he was thinking, those seconds of silence were too loud to him.
“He wouldn’t have let me, like this,” Zhou Mi said, tightening his arm just a little to let Kyuhyun know what he spoke of.
So did that mean Kyuhyun “won” the difference? He shouldn’t have been thrilled by that, but he couldn’t help the little victory dance in his head.
“Why are you smiling?” Zhou Mi asked.
Oof. Maybe not all on the inside.
“You’re just funny, that’s all,” he clarified, congratulating himself on deflecting the question.
“Mmhmm. You know, I’m glad you moved in. I’m not glad you lost your job, but… I really enjoy spending time with you. And I’m glad the job at Satin isn’t freaking you out, and that you don’t think I’m weird. I hope you don’t.”
He would have thought that was a fish for information, except for the fact that Zhou Mi had pressed a quick, almost effortless kiss to his cheek.
So that was a little strange. Kind of nice, but strange. Kind of that he didn’t know what to do about it, was really the finer point of it. Was Zhou Mi even attracted to him? They could just get to the sex part and get some of this weird, chaste tension out of the way. But then there was the way Zhou Mi hummed, his chin lightly on Kyuhyun’s shoulder.
“I don’t think I’ve ever liked sleeping alone,” Zhou Mi said quietly, and the softness of the tone shivered through him. “I used to cry for my parents until sometimes they would let me stay with them. They got me toys, a nightlight… But I still wasn’t happy. It took me a long time to get used to it. You don’t have to stay in here if it’s uncomfortable for you. But you aren’t a bother to me. I’ve grown up since then, but it’s still…a comfort to me.”
His mind tried to conjure to image of a small Zhou Mi, crying out for someone to stay with him. It made him sort of want to squeeze that little kid, and the man who had, yeah, a comforting arm slung across Kyuhyun’s chest.
“That crappy mattress out there was making me have knots in my back anyway,” he said by way of an answer, trying not to pay attention to the fingers that were sliding along the indents of his ribs. So maybe it was like he was doing Zhou Mi a favor, and not because he really wanted to be there. “Just as long as you don’t start making me pay extra rent for this side of the bed.”
Zhou Mi laughed, and let him go. “Maybe even less,” he seemed to promise, turning out the light on his side. “Sleep well, Kui Xian.”
So he had an official spot, and not just one he was too lazy and unwilling to move out of. He turned and felt the warm place that Zhou Mi had vacated. The man in front of him had given a gusty sigh, turning onto his side. That broad back was an invitation to press against it. But he closed his eyes instead. Listening to Zhou Mi breathe, feeling the lingering warmth from his body. Sharing a bed wasn’t anything. It really wasn’t.
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R
Pairing: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, Romance
Warning: crossdressing
Summary: Out of work, Kyuhyun's last ditch effort lands him a curious roommate - and a job he never expected.
Chapter One * Chapter Two * Chapter Three * Chapter Four * Chapter Five * Chapter Six
***
***
Kyuhyun thought he had actually gotten away with hiding the bruises on his thigh, asking for a longer skirt, keeping his pants on so Zhou Mi wouldn’t see. It wasn’t like he wanted to be fussed over, and he didn’t want Zhou Mi to feel guilty about it. That was all.
Of course, his mistake was the fact that he touched the bruises, probing at them, really, on his break. Not knowing that Zhou Mi was watching him. He did it kind of absently, and didn’t expect someone would be flipping up his skirt two seconds later.
“Hey!”
“You said he didn’t hurt you!” Zhou Mi said, spotting the obvious dark marks on Kyuhyun’s skin. “You should have told me!”
“They’re bruises? What could you have done?” he asked. Oh, that was not a place he wanted Zhou mi in public. “I don’t think even kissing it would’ve made it better.”
“But I would have known! And maybe there’s something we could’ve done. You should have told me. I’m surprised you even wanted to come back…”
In the tug-o-war with his skirt, he nearly missed the expression on Zhou Mi’s face. An echo of right after the injury had been put down, sort of guilty and and regretful. Sure it was different and it was weird, but the last thing he wanted was for Zhou Mi to regret him being there. And it wasn’t like he didn’t appreciate the concern, because he did. It sort of bubbled up in the back of his head. But he just really wanted Zhou Mi to feel better about it, all while inching the cloth back down his thigh.
“It’s not like he bit off one of my fingers. You must think I’m some kind of a wimp?”
“No. No, but…” Zhou Mi huffed out a breath. “If I knew, I could’ve… I don’t know what I could’ve told you. We could’ve gotten his name, and we could’ve beaten him up.”
“He won’t ever be let back in the club. That’s enough isn’t it? I didn’t break. It’s just a few bruises. You can’t tell me you haven’t been grabbed before.”
“Yeah, but you can see every finger…”
He swore his skin went cold before flushing hot, almost making him dizzy as Zhou Mi’s fingers lined up with the bruises, fingers cool against his skin. He coughed, trying to remember how to breathe properly.
“Hang on, I need to go to the bathroom,” he said, standing as quickly as he could. For once, he was grateful that there were private bathrooms in the back. He pressed his arms to the cool walls.
There were a lot of things in life he could deny, but that the man’s hand on his thigh had sent sparking pleasure all the way up his spine? How ironic, that he was dressed like a woman, and thinking it must be nice that when they got aroused, it wasn’t out there for all the world to see. He could’ve just grabbed Zhou Mi’s hand and dragged it up, over the material of the skirt until he felt what his stupid, worrying hands was doing to him. But then in his head Zhou Mi’s face turned shocked and appalled.
Zhou Mi was concerned, and that was the way that he should take it. Not some kind of suggestion for what Zhou Mi would like to do to him after hours. Running hands up his thighs, and… Though the way that Zhou Mi had just treated him, it seemed like he was more likely to get him a cup of tea. That should be enough.
Thankfully everything was under control when he went back a couple of minutes later, Zhou Mi looking him up and down as though he’d gotten more bruises just in that short trip.
“I’m going to get back out there, okay?”
The longer he was out there, the more tips he made, and the quicker he could pay Zhou Mi for the rent, and feel like he really deserved having a place there.
“Let me know if you need anything. Anything, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi whispered to him as the door into Satin’s main room opened for them.
“Yeah. I will.”
He probably sounded pretty sincere. And it wasn’t as though the night was very eventful. Go out, talk to a few guys, that was it. It was like the world saw all the drama of before and just let him sink into an easy night for once. Anything to keep his mind off of Zhou Mi, and the fact that it was hard to ignore that the man wasn’t very far away and no doubt keeping a close eye on Kyuhyun. Like he was five. He scoffed. He was still a man. He had a fist. And the soles of the shoes he had on weren’t anything he’d personally want threatening his crotch.
He tried to give Zhou Mi a reassuring smile when he came out of the bathroom, all the makeup washed off. Back in his regular clothes. He could get a tattoo for his masculinity? That didn’t sound very appealing. But on their way home, he guaranteed himself that he wasn’t going to get under the covers of Zhou Mi’s bed tonight. He’d sit on top of the covers, which wasn’t nearly as suggestive or comfortable. It wasn’t his fault that the mattress and fluffy comforter all but sucked him into it, blazing his body heat back like a fuzzy furnace of comfort. He’d just satisfy himself by sitting on top of it and when Zhou Mi was finished picking his brain, he could go back to the lumpy mattress on the floor.
It wasn’t fair that Zhou Mi had laid back the covers on both sides when he walked in. To put up the covers to sit on top seemed like a very obvious thing. And he couldn’t just sit on the bare bed and not pull up the covers, because he’d be letting heat out of Zhou Mi’s side of the bed. It was like the man knew what he was thinking. So he’d just stay sitting up, that was it. Scooting the pillow up against the headboard and pulling the covers up as far as they would comfortably go. He still felt conspicuous but at least not quite as much as he’d feared.
“How’s your leg?” Zhou Mi asked.
“It’s fine,” Kyuhyun said, drawing up his knees almost in self-defense, just in case Zhou Mi decided to feel for himself.
“Oh, I had some cream…”
Zhou Mi all but bounded out of bed, coming back with a pot of ointment. “My mom sent this to me. It’s supposed to be good for bruises and things. You should use some. It probably smells weird, but if it helps…”
“Yeah, I’ll…”
He was going to say that he’d put it on later, but Zhou Mi was stripping back the covers.
“Let’s put it on now.”
Ah, too many people involved in that offer again.
“I’ll go put it on myself,” Kyuhyun said, grabbing the container and edging past Zhou Mi. “I don’t think you want it on your sheets.”
And he definitely did not want Zhou Mi’s hand slathering some kind of goo on his thigh. His palm slapped his head a little too hard at that thought. He didn’t think he’d want to bathe in it, but it went on okay. He eased his pajamas over it, washing his hands. It made his skin feel cool as he went back into Zhou Mi’s room, the pillow and covers all back in place like Zhou Mi was just waiting for him to get in and lay down.
“You should be relaxing,” Zhou Mi said, as though he were going to fuss if Kyuhyun didn’t lay down.
As though their job was very hard labor, and his bones were aching. He gave up, letting his back relax into the softness of the mattress. He’d just be very careful to not get comfortable, that was all.
“I think you worry too much. I know you feel responsible or whatever, but I’m not five years old. I can take care of myself. Not that I’m not grateful for you guidance and I don’t think I know everything, yet. But you can relax a little, I think.”
He wasn’t sure if he expected Zhou Mi to get angry with that pronouncement or what, but the worry on Zhou Mi’s face kind of faded with a smile.
“I guess you’re right, Kui Xian. I can keep telling you everything I know, but it’s up to you now. I just want you to know you can come to me if you need anything. I’d hate it if you blamed me.”
“Believe me, if I have a question, you’ll know. Maybe I could start dressing myself?”
Zhou Mi laughed as though Kyuhyun had said something funny. “Maybe I will stop trying to hold your hand through everything and teach you about makeup, but I’ve seen your clothes.”
Well. So that idea had gotten shot down rather thoroughly. But he didn’t really mind so much, if Zhou Mi wanted to keep picking out his clothes. Part of it was probably the undivided attention. The rest of it he wasn’t going to guess at. He sighed, and caught himself tugging the blanket a little closer.
“Stay tonight, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said, as though he thought Kyuhyun was about to get up and leave.
“Are you sure?”
“I don’t mind.”
It wasn’t like he had ever had an easy time getting himself back out. Of course, as he pondered how to ask if Zhou Mi really meant it, he fell asleep anyway.
***
Zhou Mi dragged him out for a late dessert after work, and he was fine for that. The alternative was just going home and crawling into bed. Zhou Mi’s bed. Which was fine, but getting a little bit harder on his sense of stability. What he really needed to do was make sure Heechul got the rest of his junk out of the other room so he could go and find some kind of second-hand bed frame and a mattress and get back his sense of himself. He’d had no idea he could get so used to sleeping next to someone so fast. So it wasn’t like he was losing sleep or anything, except the rare time in the middle of the night Zhou Mi would be dreaming and make some kind of noise that was probably a dream-noise and not a sex-noise, but Kyuhyun’s brain had clearly decided for him. That kind of throaty startled grunt that woke him up and made him roll onto his stomach and bury his face in the pillow. Most nights he fell asleep without suffocating himself.
They got bubble teas and the remnants of the day’s dessert, chocolate pudding for Zhou Mi, and some kind of rich dark chocolate cake for him. And for once, instead of talking about what had happened that night, they were playing the “best things about ____” game. Best thing about sports, best thing about haircuts, best thing about the Internet. They had pretty much worked through most of their lives when Zhou Mi had a thought.
“Best thing about food,” he threw out.
“Eating it,” Kyuhyun said wryly.
“Okay…That’s really good, but I mean, isn’t there something more? Like… Isn’t one of the best things about food being able to taste it?”
“Well, yeah, that’s good, but so’s feeling full, and a whole bunch of of other stuff. I mean, asking what’s the best thing about eating is like asking what’s the best thing about sex.”
Zhou Mi’s spoon paused where he had been about to scoop up some more of his pudding. A fact that gave Kyuhyun reason to get distracted, as Zhou Mi thoughtfully probed the corner of his mouth where a tiny smear of pudding still was. He tried very hard not to copy the action, or imagine that he was licking it off of Zhou Mi instead.
“The best thing about sex…” Zhou Mi mused.
And Kyuhyun cursed his mouth. Why did he have to bring up something like that anyway? He should have known that Zhou Mi would take him seriously.
“You don’t have to-” he began, until Zhou Mi kind of waved him off with his spoon.
“You know, right after? The world is kind of warm and cozy. And if you’re in bed, you can kind of snuggle and float in it. That’s part of the best part anyway.”
“You’re a cuddler?” he asked without much inflection. Not like he didn’t know. But not in that context. It made sense, obviously.
“Well, if you’ve just been inside someone, I don’t know what difference it makes if you hold on after,” Zhou Mi pointed out rather determinedly. And in such a way that it had Kyuhyun looking around to make sure their corner of the restaurant was just as deserted as it had been a little while before.
This was a moment he should’ve been able to just pause reality, because suddenly he knew two things about Zhou Mi’s sexual preferences that he had not thought he’d be finding out quite like this. Or ever. The part that Zhou Mi cuddled, when Zhou Mi had taken to doing that same thing to him when they talked sometimes, wasn’t surprising. Zhou Mi kind of thrived on human touch or something. But the topping thing, that was the part that made him need to think. Those were the mental images that were lambasting him, of Zhou Mi crawling up his body, pressing kisses up his chest. Clinging to Zhou Mi’s shoulders as they writhed and moaned, mouth so hot against his as he pressed up for a kiss. He could even see the aftermath, coiling close to Zhou Mi, breath evening against his chin, smile lazy and satisfied. He could see being a cuddler, after all that. Zhou Mi would make it seem like the most important thing in the-
“AHH!” he exclaimed, jerking his hand back from the sudden touch. Through his fingers he could see Zhou Mi’s shocked face at Kyuhyun’s reaction to what had assuredly been nothing but a gentle touch.
“W-what?” he stuttered, hoping his face in the dim light looked just as normal. He kept himself from waving air toward his heating cheeks and focused on the remnants of his cake instead. What he really needed was a glass of ice water. Probably everywhere.
“You just covered your face all of a sudden like you were in pain. I didn’t know if it was brain freeze or not?” Zhou Mi asked, head cocked all cute and questioning. He was so earnest sometimes.
Kyuhyun glanced at his bubble tea. “Yeah, brain freeze.”
Brain freezing around inappropriate thoughts of sex with his roommate, yes.
***
Kyuhyun sighed and tried to keep still as Zhou Mi worked on his face. He could hear the others milling around and going out for their shifts. It didn’t really bother him. Some of them were just better at doing makeup than others, so finding someone who could help with the trickier things like eyeliner or mascara was a good thing. He’d seen the others helping pick out clothes or at least advise against some combinations so that eyes were not seared. So he didn’t think people were judging him that Zhou Mi helped him into his makeup. It was quicker than him fumbling it, and then having to get it fixed. Zhou Mi did give him little tasks, though. Adding blush, with an editing eye, because his cheeks weren’t actually supposed to resemble apples, and also powder. Lipstick and gloss as well, because if he couldn’t apply color to his mouth then he really needed to get help. Zhou Mi seemed to favor the longer wigs on him, and that was fine. Sometimes adding a clip, or a ribbon, depending on what he was wearing. Zhou Mi was like a little time clock, reminding Kyuhyun when it was time to shave his legs. It was good, because he’d probably forget otherwise. He thought sometimes that Zhou Mi knew almost as much about what was going on with his body as he did.
Though thankfully about non-embarrassing things. Like the fact that he had a hard time not following Zhou Mi’s legs. Or that sometimes when makeup was being put on or clothes were being handed to him, he had a hard time remembering that this man wasn’t his. They weren’t dating. They only ever so often slept in the same bed. Ate together. Relaxed together. They saw more of each other than anyone he knew that dated, really. And he wasn’t tired of Zhou Mi. That was the thing he was sort of surprised about. Not thinking of himself as really touchy-feely, accepting Zhou Mi’s hugs, or any of the rest. The dressing-up thing didn’t count. He thought of himself as a pretty typical man. And no, he hadn’t changed his mind on that. He was just as likely to burp or think of sex or make crude jokes as the next guy. Like the fact that he wanted to wrap his legs around Zhou Mi’s hips, and just let him go. Those arms and sturdy shoulders supporting him above Kyuhyun, little grunts as they kissed.
He shook himself out of the vision. Maybe if they both got really drunk. He wasn’t even sure how Zhou Mi saw him. Not the nuisance any more, he got that. But who knew what was going on under all those smiles?
There wasn’t really anything much to discuss about the day, as they got a snack after work. Zhou Mi mentioned offhand a couple of funny things the customers had said and Kyuhyun made fun of them, as per usual. Also as usual, Zhou Mi had to muffle his laughter in his arms as Kyuhyun imitated whoever he thought the guy was who’d made the statement. Well, he could make Zhou Mi laugh. That was one thing.
“You know, I know I was kind of stuck on you unexpectedly,” he said, trying not to click his chopsticks together. “So if you ever found someone you’d rather get to move in, or something..? You could just let me know.”
Zhou Mi finished chewing, while blinking rather solemnly at Kyuhyun. “We couldn’t find anyone to start with. It’s not like I’m contagious or anything, but they just had other places to stay. You were a nice surprise, Kui Xian. Better than anything I could have wished for. You’re not temporary, to me. You’re welcome with me until, well, until you have somewhere else to be?”
It made him feel better to hear it. He hadn’t thought Zhou Mi was looking for a way to kick him out, he just didn’t want to be an impediment or just in the way.
“I’m happy there. So I think we’re good. I just wanted to let you know.”
“Thank you, Kui Xian.” Zhou Mi beamed at him, before a thought seemed to strike him. “Though I hope I haven’t given you any reason to think I wanted you to go?”
“No, you haven’t,” Kyuhyun assured. “Besides, why would I want to move? Who’d feed me like you do?”
Zhou Mi laughed, and he was willing to bet that even a little of his satisfaction at that showed through in his smile.
***
There were times at work when it didn’t seem much like work. When it was just easy conversation aided by fruit juice in pretty glasses, or tea. Sometimes when he didn’t have someone waiting to talk to him, he just kind of observed. Not always just Zhou Mi, because for one thing he didn’t want to be caught staring. But some of the others, they were different. It wasn’t just that they were more girly, though some of them exuded that persona better than others. Or that they were nicer, because all of them were mostly nice people in the end. But it was the way that they interacted with the customers. Light touches to their wrists, laying a head on a shoulder. Little affectionate things, things he could see a girlfriend doing. And the men, for the most part, ate it up. Sort of puffing up like overinflated tires. There was kind an air of surrealness to everything that went on in the club, even if at it’s heart it was quite real. He wondered if any of the employees had ever fallen for one of the customers. He assumed it was possible. If a regular came in often enough, or talked to the same person often enough. Or maybe they had just clicked. He tried not to let his eyes flicker to Zhou Mi, dressed in blue, with a sort of jaunty wig. Had Zhou Mi ever..?
He scooted under the covers of Zhou Mi’s bed without much prodding that night, yawning as Zhou Mi puttered and climbed in beside him. His earlier thoughts, though, hadn’t left him as they talked about how it went.
“I notice that some of the guys are pretty touchy and flirty with some of the customers,” Kyuhyun said, on his side facing Zhou Mi.
Zhou Mi nodded as he slid the watch he’d been wearing onto the bedside table. “Yeah. Some of them they know better, and it’s just their personality. It’s kind of fun to watch, isn’t it?”
“Do they ever date any of them?”
“Not usually. It’s kind of frowned upon, in some ways. We never want to look like escorts. But every so often someone will just connect. It’s nice to see, really.”
“So have you ever been attracted to one of the customers? Like if they wanted a little extra?” Kyuhyun prodded.
Zhou Mi folded himself into the bed, sliding his knees under the covers in a way that Kyuhyun absolutely did not watch. He snapped his eyes up to Zhou Mi’s face the second he realized his attention was wavering.
“Not really?” Zhou Mi said, turning to face him, though not actually meeting his eyes.. “I figure if I need sex I can find it outside of that. It’s my job. And I may be fabulous enough in bed to get paid for it, but I’d rather be rewarded for it a lot differently. Why are you asking this? Are you attracted to one of the customers?”
“No!” he said, and it sounded fine except that his voice cracked on the third ascending note of it. Those eyes were suddenly too focused on him.
“Okay. Then one of the guys who work there?” Zhou Mi grabbed his shirt playfully.
“I…No. Look, no. I don’t.”
“Kui Xiiian. Come on, you can tell me!”
“No,” he said authoritatively, pushing at Zhou Mi’s hand. And that was that. Though Zhou Mi pouted at him. And he threw out the only thing he could to change the topic. Sort of. “But you only date men, right?”
“Well, yeah, I… Yeah?” Zhou Mi responded.
“Me, too.” He rolled back onto his back, resting almost beside Zhou Mi’s shoulder. Though, Zhou Mi just followed, merging into his side and getting an arm over his chest as their heads rested close.
“Why did you ask, Kui Xian?”
“I don’t know. I was just watching today and wondered. There are interesting dynamics to think about. I don’t think I’d want to date any of the guys who came in because they would want me to dress up outside of work? And that’d be awkward. So…”
“That’s a good point,” Zhou Mi murmured almost directly into his ear. He barely kept himself from shivering at it.
“Yeah, so. Yeah. We should sleep.” Crisis averted, for a second at least. “I should go. I can’t just stay in your bed forever.”
As comfortable as it was. As willing as Zhou Mi was. Considering Zhou Mi was all but melted on him like a piece of cheese, it wasn’t like he was getting kicked out. Maybe he should suggest they chat about their day at the table, or somewhere not nearly as likely to make him fall asleep.
“I don’t mind,” Zhou Mi said.
Well. That wasn’t exactly a glowing endorsement, but the way that Zhou Mi was holding him definitely said something.
“It’s not like you kept Heechul in your bed every night,” he said.
Zhou Mi giggled, breathy and warm against his neck. “No, he would have hated that.”
He, speaking of Heechul, but not Zhou Mi. And the question was all but bubbling out of him. “Would you have hated it, too?”
Zhou Mi was quiet, and though Kyuhyun imagined that he was thinking, those seconds of silence were too loud to him.
“He wouldn’t have let me, like this,” Zhou Mi said, tightening his arm just a little to let Kyuhyun know what he spoke of.
So did that mean Kyuhyun “won” the difference? He shouldn’t have been thrilled by that, but he couldn’t help the little victory dance in his head.
“Why are you smiling?” Zhou Mi asked.
Oof. Maybe not all on the inside.
“You’re just funny, that’s all,” he clarified, congratulating himself on deflecting the question.
“Mmhmm. You know, I’m glad you moved in. I’m not glad you lost your job, but… I really enjoy spending time with you. And I’m glad the job at Satin isn’t freaking you out, and that you don’t think I’m weird. I hope you don’t.”
He would have thought that was a fish for information, except for the fact that Zhou Mi had pressed a quick, almost effortless kiss to his cheek.
So that was a little strange. Kind of nice, but strange. Kind of that he didn’t know what to do about it, was really the finer point of it. Was Zhou Mi even attracted to him? They could just get to the sex part and get some of this weird, chaste tension out of the way. But then there was the way Zhou Mi hummed, his chin lightly on Kyuhyun’s shoulder.
“I don’t think I’ve ever liked sleeping alone,” Zhou Mi said quietly, and the softness of the tone shivered through him. “I used to cry for my parents until sometimes they would let me stay with them. They got me toys, a nightlight… But I still wasn’t happy. It took me a long time to get used to it. You don’t have to stay in here if it’s uncomfortable for you. But you aren’t a bother to me. I’ve grown up since then, but it’s still…a comfort to me.”
His mind tried to conjure to image of a small Zhou Mi, crying out for someone to stay with him. It made him sort of want to squeeze that little kid, and the man who had, yeah, a comforting arm slung across Kyuhyun’s chest.
“That crappy mattress out there was making me have knots in my back anyway,” he said by way of an answer, trying not to pay attention to the fingers that were sliding along the indents of his ribs. So maybe it was like he was doing Zhou Mi a favor, and not because he really wanted to be there. “Just as long as you don’t start making me pay extra rent for this side of the bed.”
Zhou Mi laughed, and let him go. “Maybe even less,” he seemed to promise, turning out the light on his side. “Sleep well, Kui Xian.”
So he had an official spot, and not just one he was too lazy and unwilling to move out of. He turned and felt the warm place that Zhou Mi had vacated. The man in front of him had given a gusty sigh, turning onto his side. That broad back was an invitation to press against it. But he closed his eyes instead. Listening to Zhou Mi breathe, feeling the lingering warmth from his body. Sharing a bed wasn’t anything. It really wasn’t.