[Fic] The Air I Breathe - 4/7
Title: The Air I Breathe
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R overall
Pairings: Siwon/Hankyung
Also Featuring: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, fantasy, angst, romance
Summary: Caught between two worlds, Siwon must find a way to save not only himself, but the jaguar spirit whose life hangs in the balance.
***
Part One * Part Two * Part Three * Part Four * Part Five
***
Siwon wondered for almost a day if it would be better to keep Han Geng in his apartment, never going out. Keeping him safe. But Han Geng stared longingly out the window whenever they were near one, as though the outdoors were calling him. So he sucked it up, and decided that a short walk couldn’t do any harm. Han Geng marveled at the trees and grass, smelling flowers that they passed.
And it was just a random thought, as they passed the entrance to the subway, that it was another new experience to add to the growing list.
Siwon watched Han Geng’s face as they went below. He could only imagine what the sight of the moving trains would seem like to Han Geng. He wanted Han Geng to see everything... Experience everything. His excitement was like that of a child, unable to wipe the smile from his face as Siwon showed him the things that to Han Geng were so strange and to Siwon so normal. It was like seeing them all again for the first time.
He brought up Han Geng’s hand, wrapping it around the hanging ring, and holding him steady for the jerk that was about to come as the subway car began to move. Han Geng, still wary even of cars, clung to Siwon as it started up, laughing in shock at the speed and force.
“This is how humans travel? Do none of them use their feet?”
Siwon chuckled, squeezing Han Geng’s side. “Not many of them. The distances this covers... It would take too long to get there if we walked. We’re always trying to save time.”
“Time... Something humans do not have much of?”
“We wish we could make more. Sometimes, we find something that makes every minute really special.”
He wondered if he was totally obvious, as he considered it, that Han Geng had become that for him. To see those expressive eyes taking him in, it was no wonder his heart fluttered in anticipation.
“Siwon... I think. I think we need to leave.”
“Is this frightening you?” Siwon asked, bringing his face close to Han Geng’s.
“No... No, it’s something else. Please...”
Siwon remembered the other times Han Geng had had that feeling... Before the fire in the apartment beside his, before the alarm had rung in the aquarium.
“Okay. As soon as it stops, okay?”
A knot of tension was growing in his stomach as the train began to slow. He let Han Geng step ahead of him, close to the doors as the station began to come into view.
People began to stand, crowding around them as they prepared to exit. He felt a touch on his arm, and thought nothing of it, until the doors opened, and nails, sharp, dug painfully into his wrist. His hand opened in reflex, Han Geng’s slipping from it. For a horrifying second, he thought, I’ve let him go...
The people flooded through the opening and out and Han Geng with them, eyes wide as their eyes met as his hands flew upwards. Siwon fought forward and was stopped, people streaming in in the few precious seconds, and Han Geng dropped from view as the doors slid closed. And then he was free. Free to leap for the doors as if he himself could not breathe inside the subway car.
“No! No!” Siwon shouted, levering at the doors as the train shuddered into motion.
The last thing he saw before the tunnel and darkness, was Han Geng collapsing from his knees, onto the ground.
“Siwon, isn’t it?” a man said from beside him, pleasant. “I live on your floor.”
Siwon was too busy counting the seconds before the train would pull into the next station, before he could race for the opposite side of the platform, hop into the next train, and make it back before... Before... Before what? Death? Could Han Geng die before he got back?
Siwon glanced at the man’s offered hand once, twice, when he saw the nails were tinged red. Red with his blood, Siwon realized, from his wrist. His...neighbor had just squeezed his wrist bloody in an attempt to...separate him from Han Geng? Han Geng’s bad feeling. His eyes flew to the man’s, saw the shadowed darkness.
“Who are you?” Siwon demanded, skin flushing with anger.
“Your spirit won’t be there any longer.”
When the man leaped for Siwon’s neck, he was ready, and the man dropped like a stone from the force of Siwon’s fist. Siwon didn’t acknowledge the pain as he squeezed through the opening doors, racing for the other side where a train had just pulled to a halt.
His blood was roaring, thundering in his ears, his chest, and he couldn’t keep still, tapping his feet, clenching his hands as the train screamed around the curves toward the station and Han Geng. If he was dead when he got there... No, he wouldn’t be. Even humans could survive for at least a few minutes without air. How long had it been? How long had... It was all his fault. He had brought them here, had been the one to let go, that let them be separated.
There was a small group of people gathered around the other side of the platform, and Siwon was ready, pushing through to the car that would bring him closest to Han Geng. Fifteen steps, twenty, no more, as he slid out of the doors and plowed between a group of school children.
“Move!” he shouted to the people. They couldn’t help Han Geng. Couldn’t help him. Only Siwon could.
He didn’t know what he reached for first, Han Geng’s hand or his face, or if he touched both at once, almost flinging himself on Han Geng’s body. Han Geng was still, so still, and pale, as though life had left him already.
“He’s gone, we think,” someone was saying above him. “We’ve called an ambulance...”
“Han Geng, Han Geng...”
Was it a prayer? A plea?
As Siwon’s palm skidded on Han Geng’s cheek, Han Geng’s eyes flew open, his body convulsing as his lungs expanded. Surprised cries rang out from above them, from the people watching, as Han Geng began to pant, coughing, almost choking, his eyes frantic as they darted from side to side, finally focusing on Siwon’s face.
Siwon yanked him up, hard, probably hurting him, so that he could be squeezed. So that Han Geng’s breathing, still quick and shallow, could ring like music in his ears.
Siwon stood, pulling Han Geng up into his arms.
“I’m taking him for help... Someone let them know we’re going? Thank you for helping him... Thank you...”
Han Geng was light in his arms as he sought to get them as far up and away as he could.
“I can walk, Siwon, I can...” Han Geng protested, and Siwon saw the looks they were getting. He pushed them into a corner bathroom, finally letting Han Geng down. Inspecting him with eyes and hands as though he had injuries as well.
Siwon’s back hit the wall as Han Geng pushed him back, and their kiss was unlike any they had shared.
“You came back for me,” Han Geng whispered against his mouth.
“Han Geng...”
Han Geng’s hand slid up his neck, his grip tight, demanding. For the first time since they had come to earth, Siwon was intimately aware of just how strong Han Geng was... His dependence on Siwon was a distraction from his identity. He wasn’t a timid man, he was a jaguar spirit in human form, and this... This was the man Siwon remembered, the one that faced the death bird, to fight. That took charge of Siwon, and...
They fought to keep their mouths connected, and Siwon hitched Han Geng close, letting the weight of him hold them against the wall.
Han Geng drew back, breathing hard, his eyes closed for a long moment before meeting Siwon’s eyes. They almost leaned in, aching for one more kiss, when Han Geng shook his head.
“No... We need to tell Zhou Mi that a death bird is here.” Han Geng swallowed. “I think it must have come through with us. How else...”
Siwon cut him off with a kiss beside his mouth. “Okay. I believe you. Let’s go. We’ll take a taxi... I’ve had enough of the subway.”
“Taxi?” Han Geng asked, and went with Siwon willingly.
***
It was a shock to find Siwon and Han Geng at their door, Kyuhyun mused, and they had both looked... Upset was a useless word. Traumatized maybe. Very clingy, not that they really had any choice in that, but even more so than they would be usually.
Zhou Mi was loudly vocal in his disbelief as Siwon recounted what had happened. Kyuhyun thought he did so for his own benefit, because what came out of Han Geng’s mouth sounded like no language he had ever heard.
“You’re sure, you’re really sure, it was a death bird?” Zhou Mi asked.
It was Han Geng who replied, and Zhou Mi told him quietly what Han Geng had said. Han Geng was sure, because the bird had touched him. Kyuhyun shuddered, remembering the bird’s mockery of Zhou Mi’s voice, luring them both.
Kyuhyun stood, clearing the dishes that had held their snack, clearing his throat to get Zhou Mi’s attention when he saw that Siwon had pressed his mouth to Han Geng’s neck. He made obvious motions to the kitchen to get Zhou Mi to clue in.
“They are making out way more than we did,” Kyuhyun said a bit blandly as Zhou Mi joined him in the kitchen.
“They’re trying to get around... You know. They haven’t done it yet. They haven’t finished the ritual.”
Kyuhyun stared. “Done it? You mean they haven’t...” he quieted at Zhou Mi’s shush. “They haven’t had sex yet?”
“No!”
“Why? Don’t tell me there was something else that was supposed to be done before getting it on, because that’s the first thing you did to me, you pervert.”
Zhou Mi laughed against his neck. “No. They were supposed to. They just got to Earth before it could be done. And besides, you were pretty willing once you got everything figured out...”
“It seemed like... Han Geng was a lot more attached than Siwon was when they got here.”
Zhou Mi looked thoughtful.
“I think... I think the reason for that is that you had had people all your life to love. There had been no one else for us. And to have someone appear in front of us, who was just for us.... Who had come for us, is just... There is no other feeling like that in the world.”
“Ah...Not because we’re gorgeous, huh?”
“Of course you are, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said as though Kyuhyun had been fishing for a compliment instead of being facetious. “Of course you are.”
Kyuhyun accepted the kiss. “And if I’d been a woman?”
Zhou Mi stared at him blankly. “Why...would you have been?”
The laugh bubbled and he elbowed into Zhou Mi. “I have no idea.”
“Do you...miss women?” Zhou Mi asked softly.
“You know, not when I think of your tears,” Kyuhyun said, touching Zhou Mi’s cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, Kui Xian.”
They leaned into each other, into the heat, and felt the instant satisfaction of belonging. A sound from the doorway had them looking up, and Kyuhyun was struck by the wistfulness he saw in Han Geng’s eyes. Han Geng wanted that, with Siwon, he realized. Siwon had laced their fingers tightly together.
“We’re going to get going so he can rest,” Siwon said.
“Be careful,” Zhou Mi said, stepping forward. “I don’t... Maybe you should stay here. Maybe it would be safer to stay together.”
Not tonight, Kyuhyun thought, if the body language between the other two was any indication. They were definitely wanting to be alone.
“We’ll think about it for later,” Siwon said.
***
Han Geng stroked his arm as they drove, and it sent tingles up his shoulder, and to other places as well.
“Are you feeling okay?” Siwon asked.
“I am. I never feel better than when I’m with you.”
“Then you must feel happy all the time,” he joked, glancing at Han Geng’s curious face.
“I think you mean that to be untrue, but it isn’t. To be with you, Siwon...”
Those words spun out, unanswered as they parked. Siwon tugged him into the elevator, and they leaned together. Siwon had to hold himself back from pressing his mouth to Han Geng’s cheek, his ear, his neck...
Anywhere.
He was so distracted that it was Han Geng who had to tug his hand, to lead them out of the open elevator.
With the door shut, locked, the urge to wrap himself around Han Geng could not be dissuaded.
Siwon cupped his hand at Han Geng’s cheek. “How long... How close were you to death, when I got to you?”
“I could have lasted...just a little longer.” Han Geng’s eyes closed as he leaned into Siwon’s hand. “Because of our connection... I could feel you coming back for me. I held on as long as I could...for you.”
Han Geng’s eyes were soft, but direct. There were no questions in that stare, and that wall he had been holding between them... To protect Han Geng? Or to protect himself... But the wall didn’t exist any more.
“I don’t know if I could have lived with myself if something had happened to you,” Siwon said softly, tracing Han Geng’s cheekbone with his thumb.
It was Han Geng who pulled him close, softly moving their mouths together. “Thank you,” he said. “You are truly...the air I breathe.”
Siwon bent slightly, hoisting Han Geng into his arms like in the subway, and yet...not quite.
“Siwon!”
Han Geng’s laugh was low, intimate. As though he knew the thoughts running through Siwon’s mind. They nearly lost contact as Siwon began pulling clothes from Han Geng’s body, and from his own. And then contact was no longer a problem, closing his eyes, as it seemed they almost merged, skin to skin.
“Siwon...”
“I want you,” Siwon whispered. Need you, nearly lost you...
Han Geng’s eyes smiled, pulling him back onto the bed. “You already have me.”
It was Han Geng who guided him on what to do, on how to do it, on when he was ready to move on.
When Han Geng begged him, Siwon please, please, he was shaking, moving on unsteady knees, guided by Han Geng’s arms until there was a singular moment. Not the moment he was certain that they could never fit together, but the one shortly after, that amidst questing satisfaction and lust spoke very clearly of home.
Han Geng’s eyes brimmed, a tear leaking out, but somehow Siwon knew they weren’t from pain or regret. That there was this amazing piece of himself that he had shared with Han Geng, and Han Geng with him. Something they could only share with each other. Han Geng’s lips parted beneath his, taking, giving, and Siwon knew he had been a fool to wait this long.
You have to mate, you have to join with him, make him yours, make him...
The pleasure was unlike anything he had ever felt, building like a boiling cloud, everything that was ominous about it instead being filled with the most exquisite pain of need. He could have basked in that sensation for a lifetime, as Han Geng’s hands seemed to stoke it higher, ghosting over his ears, his neck.
“I have to stop,” Siwon gasped. “I have to...”
“What? Why?”
Han Geng was frantic, clinging to him.
“It feels too good, it feels...” How did he explain the sensation of feeling as though he were on the verge of losing all control, pleasure blinding him, and yet... Knowing the response of his body, knowing he wasn’t quite there... “It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s too good.”
Han Geng’s face was all but wreathed in smiles. “Really. Oh. Siwon.” They kissed gently. “It means that I can do that for you... That I am sharing my pleasure with you... My mate.”
Siwon let the shock of that phrase sink into him. “Mate.”
“Yes... Now we truly are...” Han Geng’s voice trailed away. “Did you not know that’s what you were, what you would be, to me?”
“I don’t think I’d ever thought of it... Like that.”
“I have tossed aside everything I have ever known... For you. Abandoned by my brothers. Cast from my own world. Would you not have me?”
The soft brown eyes rose to his, and his heart trembled. He had to protect. He had to keep. He could be none other’s.
“Mine, Han Geng,” he said harshly, lifting Han Geng’s hips.
They raced each other, fighting for purchase, for breath, lips catching as they pressed together.
“Han Geng,” he whimpered.
“Siwon... My Siwon...”
It seemed that time froze at the apex, the slide of sweat down Han Geng’s face, the widening of dark-lashed eyes, the quick, sucking breaths... The searing pleasure. His whole body was focused on the joining of him and his mate.
When it fell for them both, it fell with a vengeance, losing rational thought or speech, his body on autopilot, only just barely capturing Han Geng’s throaty sounds to treasure. They were both trembling, Siwon heavy on him. He knew it, but couldn’t bear to move, to break the connection between them. They were mated. That was it for him.
***
They lay, legs tangled, Han Geng pressing sweet kisses along his cheek, and one of Siwon’s hands blissfully cuddled on Han Geng’s rear, holding him close.
Han Geng’s smile was smug, content, and they laughed a bit before they kissed.
“So we are mated now,” Siwon said softly.
“At long last,” Han Geng sighed.
“Should we have...sooner?”
“The ritual... In the forest, we should have finished it like tonight, that day. I thought we were going to, before the bird attacked. It felt as though you wanted me...”
“I did,” Siwon admitted. “But the ritual... You or Zhou Mi didn’t tell me that! That we needed to... I didn’t know.”
“Zhou Mi wouldn’t have, thinking it was between us. I wanted to...I tried! You know I tried. But everything was so different here. Nothing went the way it was supposed to, not from the time you first kissed me until we left.”
“But we’re together now.”
Han Geng nuzzled him, his lips still curled into a smile, and Siwon’s heart rumbled, feeling that belonging angle through him.
“Han Geng... All these feelings inside me, I don’t... I don’t know how to tell you. You’ll stay with me?”
“We’ll be together, no matter what adversity challenges us,” Han Geng promised. “Siwon, I...”
Siwon frowned as the air over Han Geng seemed to waver, to tremble. “What was that?” Siwon asked.
Han Geng’s eyes were wide with excitement as he looked to Siwon. “I think I know how we can go home.”
***
They were dressed and to Zhou Mi’s apartment within half an hour. The excitement all but bled out of Han Geng as he tugged Siwon along up the stairs. Siwon was feeling excitement as well... Han Geng could go back to his world, where he could be normal and breathe, and Siwon would... What? Han Geng had said “we,” and that was what kept him from losing his composure entirely. What future did they have, Siwon and the beautiful forest spirit? What possible option could he have... Did the possibility of him staying for Han Geng even exist?
“I know how to take us back,” Han Geng told Zhou Mi without preamble barely after they got in the door.
Zhou Mi, who had sat with his hand on Kyuhyun’s knee, leaned forward eagerly. “Oh? How?”
“By sacrificing a part of ourselves that we thought would never be touched. Invoking the words, and... I almost said it, and the air around us drew to us, as though it wanted to take us back...”
Zhou Mi had almost leaped onto his feet before he settled back. “That makes sense! Your sacrifice takes you back to the place that you have to be. That’s brilliant!”
Kyuhyun looked as puzzled as Siwon felt, and probably especially so since he couldn’t understand Han Geng. “Care to enlighten us mortals?” Kyuhyun asked dryly.
“Han Geng has to tell Siwon he loves him,” Zhou Mi said earnestly.
Shock zipped through Siwon, his hand tightening on Han Geng’s hand. Han Geng wouldn’t meet his eyes, ducking his head to rest it firmly in the crook of Siwon’s shoulder.
“You... Really?” Siwon asked softly.
“Don’t make him tell you!” Zhou Mi half shouted. “Look, you can go back and that’s great, but... You have to take the death bird with you. I don’t think anything is going to tell that thing that they love it.”
“Maybe... If it crawled into Siwon’s mind...?” Kyuhyun mused.
Zhou Mi shook his head. “It was separate when it arrived, so it has to be separate going back. If it’s in spirit form and has to go back to a corporeal form while still in someone’s head, it could be...messy.”
All of them flinched.
“Thanks Zhou Mi, we needed that image.”
“What if we ringed someone it had possessed?” Siwon said thoughtfully. “Han Geng and I touching each other, and that person. And when Han Geng...says it... And the air draws in... Maybe it would take back the bird, too, if we were touching it, since it belongs?”
Zhou Mi hummed, gripping Kyuhyun’s hand. “And it wouldn’t take the person with you... That’s an interesting thought. I mean... We have no way to test it, but, I would think it would work.”
“So it works great, or someone gets sentenced to death because of some bird?” Kyuhyun asked.
“The alternative is leaving the bird roaming free here. I don’t... It doesn’t belong. There’s a balance here that is being disrupted, just because it exists here... Do we have any other options?”
“We can’t draw the bird out, send it back on its own?” Siwon asked, cuddling Han Geng even at the thought of death.
Zhou Mi shook his head. “It needs a host, if it’s in spirit form... It can’t just float around on its own. I think you were right. I think the only chance you have is holding onto its host, and hoping it gets dragged out with you.”
“How do we find the bird?” Kyuhyun asked.
“It’ll find me,” Han Geng said, and there was silence as they considered the truth of his words.
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R overall
Pairings: Siwon/Hankyung
Also Featuring: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, fantasy, angst, romance
Summary: Caught between two worlds, Siwon must find a way to save not only himself, but the jaguar spirit whose life hangs in the balance.
***
Part One * Part Two * Part Three * Part Four * Part Five
***
Siwon wondered for almost a day if it would be better to keep Han Geng in his apartment, never going out. Keeping him safe. But Han Geng stared longingly out the window whenever they were near one, as though the outdoors were calling him. So he sucked it up, and decided that a short walk couldn’t do any harm. Han Geng marveled at the trees and grass, smelling flowers that they passed.
And it was just a random thought, as they passed the entrance to the subway, that it was another new experience to add to the growing list.
Siwon watched Han Geng’s face as they went below. He could only imagine what the sight of the moving trains would seem like to Han Geng. He wanted Han Geng to see everything... Experience everything. His excitement was like that of a child, unable to wipe the smile from his face as Siwon showed him the things that to Han Geng were so strange and to Siwon so normal. It was like seeing them all again for the first time.
He brought up Han Geng’s hand, wrapping it around the hanging ring, and holding him steady for the jerk that was about to come as the subway car began to move. Han Geng, still wary even of cars, clung to Siwon as it started up, laughing in shock at the speed and force.
“This is how humans travel? Do none of them use their feet?”
Siwon chuckled, squeezing Han Geng’s side. “Not many of them. The distances this covers... It would take too long to get there if we walked. We’re always trying to save time.”
“Time... Something humans do not have much of?”
“We wish we could make more. Sometimes, we find something that makes every minute really special.”
He wondered if he was totally obvious, as he considered it, that Han Geng had become that for him. To see those expressive eyes taking him in, it was no wonder his heart fluttered in anticipation.
“Siwon... I think. I think we need to leave.”
“Is this frightening you?” Siwon asked, bringing his face close to Han Geng’s.
“No... No, it’s something else. Please...”
Siwon remembered the other times Han Geng had had that feeling... Before the fire in the apartment beside his, before the alarm had rung in the aquarium.
“Okay. As soon as it stops, okay?”
A knot of tension was growing in his stomach as the train began to slow. He let Han Geng step ahead of him, close to the doors as the station began to come into view.
People began to stand, crowding around them as they prepared to exit. He felt a touch on his arm, and thought nothing of it, until the doors opened, and nails, sharp, dug painfully into his wrist. His hand opened in reflex, Han Geng’s slipping from it. For a horrifying second, he thought, I’ve let him go...
The people flooded through the opening and out and Han Geng with them, eyes wide as their eyes met as his hands flew upwards. Siwon fought forward and was stopped, people streaming in in the few precious seconds, and Han Geng dropped from view as the doors slid closed. And then he was free. Free to leap for the doors as if he himself could not breathe inside the subway car.
“No! No!” Siwon shouted, levering at the doors as the train shuddered into motion.
The last thing he saw before the tunnel and darkness, was Han Geng collapsing from his knees, onto the ground.
“Siwon, isn’t it?” a man said from beside him, pleasant. “I live on your floor.”
Siwon was too busy counting the seconds before the train would pull into the next station, before he could race for the opposite side of the platform, hop into the next train, and make it back before... Before... Before what? Death? Could Han Geng die before he got back?
Siwon glanced at the man’s offered hand once, twice, when he saw the nails were tinged red. Red with his blood, Siwon realized, from his wrist. His...neighbor had just squeezed his wrist bloody in an attempt to...separate him from Han Geng? Han Geng’s bad feeling. His eyes flew to the man’s, saw the shadowed darkness.
“Who are you?” Siwon demanded, skin flushing with anger.
“Your spirit won’t be there any longer.”
When the man leaped for Siwon’s neck, he was ready, and the man dropped like a stone from the force of Siwon’s fist. Siwon didn’t acknowledge the pain as he squeezed through the opening doors, racing for the other side where a train had just pulled to a halt.
His blood was roaring, thundering in his ears, his chest, and he couldn’t keep still, tapping his feet, clenching his hands as the train screamed around the curves toward the station and Han Geng. If he was dead when he got there... No, he wouldn’t be. Even humans could survive for at least a few minutes without air. How long had it been? How long had... It was all his fault. He had brought them here, had been the one to let go, that let them be separated.
There was a small group of people gathered around the other side of the platform, and Siwon was ready, pushing through to the car that would bring him closest to Han Geng. Fifteen steps, twenty, no more, as he slid out of the doors and plowed between a group of school children.
“Move!” he shouted to the people. They couldn’t help Han Geng. Couldn’t help him. Only Siwon could.
He didn’t know what he reached for first, Han Geng’s hand or his face, or if he touched both at once, almost flinging himself on Han Geng’s body. Han Geng was still, so still, and pale, as though life had left him already.
“He’s gone, we think,” someone was saying above him. “We’ve called an ambulance...”
“Han Geng, Han Geng...”
Was it a prayer? A plea?
As Siwon’s palm skidded on Han Geng’s cheek, Han Geng’s eyes flew open, his body convulsing as his lungs expanded. Surprised cries rang out from above them, from the people watching, as Han Geng began to pant, coughing, almost choking, his eyes frantic as they darted from side to side, finally focusing on Siwon’s face.
Siwon yanked him up, hard, probably hurting him, so that he could be squeezed. So that Han Geng’s breathing, still quick and shallow, could ring like music in his ears.
Siwon stood, pulling Han Geng up into his arms.
“I’m taking him for help... Someone let them know we’re going? Thank you for helping him... Thank you...”
Han Geng was light in his arms as he sought to get them as far up and away as he could.
“I can walk, Siwon, I can...” Han Geng protested, and Siwon saw the looks they were getting. He pushed them into a corner bathroom, finally letting Han Geng down. Inspecting him with eyes and hands as though he had injuries as well.
Siwon’s back hit the wall as Han Geng pushed him back, and their kiss was unlike any they had shared.
“You came back for me,” Han Geng whispered against his mouth.
“Han Geng...”
Han Geng’s hand slid up his neck, his grip tight, demanding. For the first time since they had come to earth, Siwon was intimately aware of just how strong Han Geng was... His dependence on Siwon was a distraction from his identity. He wasn’t a timid man, he was a jaguar spirit in human form, and this... This was the man Siwon remembered, the one that faced the death bird, to fight. That took charge of Siwon, and...
They fought to keep their mouths connected, and Siwon hitched Han Geng close, letting the weight of him hold them against the wall.
Han Geng drew back, breathing hard, his eyes closed for a long moment before meeting Siwon’s eyes. They almost leaned in, aching for one more kiss, when Han Geng shook his head.
“No... We need to tell Zhou Mi that a death bird is here.” Han Geng swallowed. “I think it must have come through with us. How else...”
Siwon cut him off with a kiss beside his mouth. “Okay. I believe you. Let’s go. We’ll take a taxi... I’ve had enough of the subway.”
“Taxi?” Han Geng asked, and went with Siwon willingly.
***
It was a shock to find Siwon and Han Geng at their door, Kyuhyun mused, and they had both looked... Upset was a useless word. Traumatized maybe. Very clingy, not that they really had any choice in that, but even more so than they would be usually.
Zhou Mi was loudly vocal in his disbelief as Siwon recounted what had happened. Kyuhyun thought he did so for his own benefit, because what came out of Han Geng’s mouth sounded like no language he had ever heard.
“You’re sure, you’re really sure, it was a death bird?” Zhou Mi asked.
It was Han Geng who replied, and Zhou Mi told him quietly what Han Geng had said. Han Geng was sure, because the bird had touched him. Kyuhyun shuddered, remembering the bird’s mockery of Zhou Mi’s voice, luring them both.
Kyuhyun stood, clearing the dishes that had held their snack, clearing his throat to get Zhou Mi’s attention when he saw that Siwon had pressed his mouth to Han Geng’s neck. He made obvious motions to the kitchen to get Zhou Mi to clue in.
“They are making out way more than we did,” Kyuhyun said a bit blandly as Zhou Mi joined him in the kitchen.
“They’re trying to get around... You know. They haven’t done it yet. They haven’t finished the ritual.”
Kyuhyun stared. “Done it? You mean they haven’t...” he quieted at Zhou Mi’s shush. “They haven’t had sex yet?”
“No!”
“Why? Don’t tell me there was something else that was supposed to be done before getting it on, because that’s the first thing you did to me, you pervert.”
Zhou Mi laughed against his neck. “No. They were supposed to. They just got to Earth before it could be done. And besides, you were pretty willing once you got everything figured out...”
“It seemed like... Han Geng was a lot more attached than Siwon was when they got here.”
Zhou Mi looked thoughtful.
“I think... I think the reason for that is that you had had people all your life to love. There had been no one else for us. And to have someone appear in front of us, who was just for us.... Who had come for us, is just... There is no other feeling like that in the world.”
“Ah...Not because we’re gorgeous, huh?”
“Of course you are, Kui Xian,” Zhou Mi said as though Kyuhyun had been fishing for a compliment instead of being facetious. “Of course you are.”
Kyuhyun accepted the kiss. “And if I’d been a woman?”
Zhou Mi stared at him blankly. “Why...would you have been?”
The laugh bubbled and he elbowed into Zhou Mi. “I have no idea.”
“Do you...miss women?” Zhou Mi asked softly.
“You know, not when I think of your tears,” Kyuhyun said, touching Zhou Mi’s cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, Kui Xian.”
They leaned into each other, into the heat, and felt the instant satisfaction of belonging. A sound from the doorway had them looking up, and Kyuhyun was struck by the wistfulness he saw in Han Geng’s eyes. Han Geng wanted that, with Siwon, he realized. Siwon had laced their fingers tightly together.
“We’re going to get going so he can rest,” Siwon said.
“Be careful,” Zhou Mi said, stepping forward. “I don’t... Maybe you should stay here. Maybe it would be safer to stay together.”
Not tonight, Kyuhyun thought, if the body language between the other two was any indication. They were definitely wanting to be alone.
“We’ll think about it for later,” Siwon said.
***
Han Geng stroked his arm as they drove, and it sent tingles up his shoulder, and to other places as well.
“Are you feeling okay?” Siwon asked.
“I am. I never feel better than when I’m with you.”
“Then you must feel happy all the time,” he joked, glancing at Han Geng’s curious face.
“I think you mean that to be untrue, but it isn’t. To be with you, Siwon...”
Those words spun out, unanswered as they parked. Siwon tugged him into the elevator, and they leaned together. Siwon had to hold himself back from pressing his mouth to Han Geng’s cheek, his ear, his neck...
Anywhere.
He was so distracted that it was Han Geng who had to tug his hand, to lead them out of the open elevator.
With the door shut, locked, the urge to wrap himself around Han Geng could not be dissuaded.
Siwon cupped his hand at Han Geng’s cheek. “How long... How close were you to death, when I got to you?”
“I could have lasted...just a little longer.” Han Geng’s eyes closed as he leaned into Siwon’s hand. “Because of our connection... I could feel you coming back for me. I held on as long as I could...for you.”
Han Geng’s eyes were soft, but direct. There were no questions in that stare, and that wall he had been holding between them... To protect Han Geng? Or to protect himself... But the wall didn’t exist any more.
“I don’t know if I could have lived with myself if something had happened to you,” Siwon said softly, tracing Han Geng’s cheekbone with his thumb.
It was Han Geng who pulled him close, softly moving their mouths together. “Thank you,” he said. “You are truly...the air I breathe.”
Siwon bent slightly, hoisting Han Geng into his arms like in the subway, and yet...not quite.
“Siwon!”
Han Geng’s laugh was low, intimate. As though he knew the thoughts running through Siwon’s mind. They nearly lost contact as Siwon began pulling clothes from Han Geng’s body, and from his own. And then contact was no longer a problem, closing his eyes, as it seemed they almost merged, skin to skin.
“Siwon...”
“I want you,” Siwon whispered. Need you, nearly lost you...
Han Geng’s eyes smiled, pulling him back onto the bed. “You already have me.”
It was Han Geng who guided him on what to do, on how to do it, on when he was ready to move on.
When Han Geng begged him, Siwon please, please, he was shaking, moving on unsteady knees, guided by Han Geng’s arms until there was a singular moment. Not the moment he was certain that they could never fit together, but the one shortly after, that amidst questing satisfaction and lust spoke very clearly of home.
Han Geng’s eyes brimmed, a tear leaking out, but somehow Siwon knew they weren’t from pain or regret. That there was this amazing piece of himself that he had shared with Han Geng, and Han Geng with him. Something they could only share with each other. Han Geng’s lips parted beneath his, taking, giving, and Siwon knew he had been a fool to wait this long.
You have to mate, you have to join with him, make him yours, make him...
The pleasure was unlike anything he had ever felt, building like a boiling cloud, everything that was ominous about it instead being filled with the most exquisite pain of need. He could have basked in that sensation for a lifetime, as Han Geng’s hands seemed to stoke it higher, ghosting over his ears, his neck.
“I have to stop,” Siwon gasped. “I have to...”
“What? Why?”
Han Geng was frantic, clinging to him.
“It feels too good, it feels...” How did he explain the sensation of feeling as though he were on the verge of losing all control, pleasure blinding him, and yet... Knowing the response of his body, knowing he wasn’t quite there... “It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s too good.”
Han Geng’s face was all but wreathed in smiles. “Really. Oh. Siwon.” They kissed gently. “It means that I can do that for you... That I am sharing my pleasure with you... My mate.”
Siwon let the shock of that phrase sink into him. “Mate.”
“Yes... Now we truly are...” Han Geng’s voice trailed away. “Did you not know that’s what you were, what you would be, to me?”
“I don’t think I’d ever thought of it... Like that.”
“I have tossed aside everything I have ever known... For you. Abandoned by my brothers. Cast from my own world. Would you not have me?”
The soft brown eyes rose to his, and his heart trembled. He had to protect. He had to keep. He could be none other’s.
“Mine, Han Geng,” he said harshly, lifting Han Geng’s hips.
They raced each other, fighting for purchase, for breath, lips catching as they pressed together.
“Han Geng,” he whimpered.
“Siwon... My Siwon...”
It seemed that time froze at the apex, the slide of sweat down Han Geng’s face, the widening of dark-lashed eyes, the quick, sucking breaths... The searing pleasure. His whole body was focused on the joining of him and his mate.
When it fell for them both, it fell with a vengeance, losing rational thought or speech, his body on autopilot, only just barely capturing Han Geng’s throaty sounds to treasure. They were both trembling, Siwon heavy on him. He knew it, but couldn’t bear to move, to break the connection between them. They were mated. That was it for him.
***
They lay, legs tangled, Han Geng pressing sweet kisses along his cheek, and one of Siwon’s hands blissfully cuddled on Han Geng’s rear, holding him close.
Han Geng’s smile was smug, content, and they laughed a bit before they kissed.
“So we are mated now,” Siwon said softly.
“At long last,” Han Geng sighed.
“Should we have...sooner?”
“The ritual... In the forest, we should have finished it like tonight, that day. I thought we were going to, before the bird attacked. It felt as though you wanted me...”
“I did,” Siwon admitted. “But the ritual... You or Zhou Mi didn’t tell me that! That we needed to... I didn’t know.”
“Zhou Mi wouldn’t have, thinking it was between us. I wanted to...I tried! You know I tried. But everything was so different here. Nothing went the way it was supposed to, not from the time you first kissed me until we left.”
“But we’re together now.”
Han Geng nuzzled him, his lips still curled into a smile, and Siwon’s heart rumbled, feeling that belonging angle through him.
“Han Geng... All these feelings inside me, I don’t... I don’t know how to tell you. You’ll stay with me?”
“We’ll be together, no matter what adversity challenges us,” Han Geng promised. “Siwon, I...”
Siwon frowned as the air over Han Geng seemed to waver, to tremble. “What was that?” Siwon asked.
Han Geng’s eyes were wide with excitement as he looked to Siwon. “I think I know how we can go home.”
***
They were dressed and to Zhou Mi’s apartment within half an hour. The excitement all but bled out of Han Geng as he tugged Siwon along up the stairs. Siwon was feeling excitement as well... Han Geng could go back to his world, where he could be normal and breathe, and Siwon would... What? Han Geng had said “we,” and that was what kept him from losing his composure entirely. What future did they have, Siwon and the beautiful forest spirit? What possible option could he have... Did the possibility of him staying for Han Geng even exist?
“I know how to take us back,” Han Geng told Zhou Mi without preamble barely after they got in the door.
Zhou Mi, who had sat with his hand on Kyuhyun’s knee, leaned forward eagerly. “Oh? How?”
“By sacrificing a part of ourselves that we thought would never be touched. Invoking the words, and... I almost said it, and the air around us drew to us, as though it wanted to take us back...”
Zhou Mi had almost leaped onto his feet before he settled back. “That makes sense! Your sacrifice takes you back to the place that you have to be. That’s brilliant!”
Kyuhyun looked as puzzled as Siwon felt, and probably especially so since he couldn’t understand Han Geng. “Care to enlighten us mortals?” Kyuhyun asked dryly.
“Han Geng has to tell Siwon he loves him,” Zhou Mi said earnestly.
Shock zipped through Siwon, his hand tightening on Han Geng’s hand. Han Geng wouldn’t meet his eyes, ducking his head to rest it firmly in the crook of Siwon’s shoulder.
“You... Really?” Siwon asked softly.
“Don’t make him tell you!” Zhou Mi half shouted. “Look, you can go back and that’s great, but... You have to take the death bird with you. I don’t think anything is going to tell that thing that they love it.”
“Maybe... If it crawled into Siwon’s mind...?” Kyuhyun mused.
Zhou Mi shook his head. “It was separate when it arrived, so it has to be separate going back. If it’s in spirit form and has to go back to a corporeal form while still in someone’s head, it could be...messy.”
All of them flinched.
“Thanks Zhou Mi, we needed that image.”
“What if we ringed someone it had possessed?” Siwon said thoughtfully. “Han Geng and I touching each other, and that person. And when Han Geng...says it... And the air draws in... Maybe it would take back the bird, too, if we were touching it, since it belongs?”
Zhou Mi hummed, gripping Kyuhyun’s hand. “And it wouldn’t take the person with you... That’s an interesting thought. I mean... We have no way to test it, but, I would think it would work.”
“So it works great, or someone gets sentenced to death because of some bird?” Kyuhyun asked.
“The alternative is leaving the bird roaming free here. I don’t... It doesn’t belong. There’s a balance here that is being disrupted, just because it exists here... Do we have any other options?”
“We can’t draw the bird out, send it back on its own?” Siwon asked, cuddling Han Geng even at the thought of death.
Zhou Mi shook his head. “It needs a host, if it’s in spirit form... It can’t just float around on its own. I think you were right. I think the only chance you have is holding onto its host, and hoping it gets dragged out with you.”
“How do we find the bird?” Kyuhyun asked.
“It’ll find me,” Han Geng said, and there was silence as they considered the truth of his words.
***