[Fic] The Air I Breathe - 2/7
Title: The Air I Breathe
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R overall
Pairings: Siwon/Hankyung
Also Featuring: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, fantasy, angst, romance
Summary: Caught between two worlds, Siwon must find a way to save not only himself, but the jaguar spirit whose life hangs in the balance.
***
Part One * Part Two * Part Three
***
Siwon was still wrapping his mind around the fact that Han Geng knew Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi who must have been in the forest, or lived in the forest. Zhou Mi who lived on Earth. Lived with, he assumed, Kyuhyun. Knowing Han Geng could become a jaguar, assuming Zhou Mi could become an animal, a tiger, was no far stretch. Could he still, on Earth? If Zhou Mi had the jaguar figure, what was his motive of sending Siwon at all? If he’d found some way to leave...
“We’re going to see Zhou Mi...” Han Geng repeated, over and over while they drove. It was as though he didn’t quite believe it. “Zhou Mi is alive?”
“He seemed to be when I talked to him,” Siwon said, trying to be genuine in his distraction. “He was when he gave me the little carving, the other day.”
“Zhou Mi is alive.”
That tickled Siwon’s brain, that Han Geng should be so amazed and almost to the point of being disbelieving. But if Zhou Mi had left the forest, maybe Han Geng had assumed he was dead...? Siwon guided him up the stairs, Han Geng catching the trick of climbing them almost immediately.
It was the man Siwon knew as Zhou Mi that opened the door, Han Geng’s hand vising on his. Zhou Mi’s eyes careened off of Siwon, focusing on Han Geng. Seeing what Siwon saw, the dark eyes still marked with dark lining, the clearly ill fitting clothing.
“Han Geng!”
“Zhou Mi...”
Han Geng’s voice trembled, an outpouring of emotion as Han Geng forgot himself, letting go and stepping forward to touch Zhou Mi without fear.
Siwon felt a fission of unease as the two touched, and then panic as Han Geng began to drop.
Siwon caught him before his knees could hit the floor, murmuring wordlessly as Han Geng first fought, then relaxed, gulping for air.
Zhou Mi gave them space as they stood, Kyuhyun behind him, and closed the door behind them as Siwon led him inside.
“You’re not supposed to be here, yet... And if you’re here, and... You aren’t... You didn’t finish the ritual,” Zhou Mi said, startled. “What... What happened?”
“No,” Han Geng said, shaking his head, his hair moving with the force of his denial. “One of the death birds attacked before it could be done, and...”
He rested his face against Siwon’s neck, still catching his breath, and it took all that Siwon had in him not to turn and hold him there. Three times. Three times he had let Han Geng go, to the panic of not being able to breathe. He squeezed Han Geng’s side and contented himself with it. And then a thought snuck in.
“How do you know the ritual wasn’t done?” Siwon asked, suspicious. And what did “done” encompass?
“Because if he had touched me with the ritual completed, you both would be writhing in pain on the floor right now,” Zhou Mi explained, sighing, and wringing his hands. “It rises to the level of your connection. Did you... A death bird?”
“Let them tell you what happened,” Kyuhyun said, resting a comforting hand on Zhou Mi’s back. “Why don’t you both sit?”
Siwon repeated the tale. Waking in the forest, seeing the jaguar, Han Geng, fight the bird. The accidental kiss. He left out certain important bits. He couldn’t imagine detailing Han Geng’s hands on his skin, or his on Han Geng’s.
Had it only been less than a day? Falling asleep, finding Han Geng, saving him... Touching Han Geng. Feeling Han Geng touching him...
Han Geng squeezed his hand, and he realized that he’d drifted.
“So you came back through the tree,” Zhou Mi said softly. “And while the bird was attacking?”
“I had a bad feeling, where Siwon lives...” Han Geng said, leaning forward as though Zhou Mi could answer his concern. “I don’t know why. I feel...so strange here. I can’t sense things like I should.”
“It’s like that for me, a little,” Zhou Mi said. “I was born here without those senses, but I can remember what it was like. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be without it. But what you can sense... Is Siwon?”
Han Geng nodded.
“And you can’t breathe without him touching you...”
“How do I...how do we get back?” Han Geng asked, and Siwon’s heart clutched at the question. “Siwon...shouldn’t be here either?”
Zhou Mi hummed. “I don’t really know...”
“I don’t know how relevant this is, but...I can’t understand what Han Geng is saying,” Kyuhyun said.
“What he’s speaking is different than the language that I shared with you,” Zhou Mi told Kyuhyun. “We could all understand each other... But it’s a dialect... It’s different. It’s...really just for them.”
Siwon heard Zhou Mi’s explanation with hollow ears, taking in Han Geng’s white knuckles on the fists he was making.
Siwon was startled to find Kyuhyun’s dark eyes sharply focused on him when he looked up. “You must have a lot of questions about where it was you went,” Kyuhyun said. And it seemed to have the ring of empathy to it. Had Kyuhyun been tossed there as well?
“I have questions,” Siwon confirmed. “But... I want to make sure of Han Geng’s safety first. Everything else can wait.”
There was nothing else they could do... Nothing else until they could figure something out. No way to help Han Geng breathe without Siwon, no way to send them back. There had been looks of concern between Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun.
If they couldn’t figure out something, what would become of them? Siwon... He couldn’t take Han Geng to work with him. And there was no way to know just how long Han Geng’s body, not used to this air or this world, could sustain itself, even with Siwon near...
***
The door had barely shut behind the two men before Kyuhyun rounded on Zhou Mi. The fact that there was a spirit alive in Seoul was shocking enough, without adding him not being able to breathe and Zhou Mi’s clear anxiety into the mix. Especially for Kyuhyun, who had seen how happy Zhou Mi had been at Siwon’s call, to see him so pensive again.
“We didn’t tell Siwon nearly enough,” Kyuhyun argued. “He doesn’t even know Han Geng has to die!”
“How can we do that? If we tell him that they’ll be parted for any time at all...any!...Siwon might close himself off. If they can’t mate, heart and soul as well as body, how will Han Geng’s spirit know where to come?”
Zhou Mi touched his face.
“But there won’t be a long separation...” Kyuhyun insisted.
“I promised you we would be together, Kui Xian. And you still mourned for me.”
“But he has proof! You did find me.”
“We found each other, and they will, too. It is Han Geng’s place as Siwon’s mate to tell him,” Zhou Mi said gently. “We have to help them find a way back, but... I don’t think we can do more. If we interfere... It could mean both their lives.”
“It’s so...frustrating,” Kyuhyun said, making a sound that emphasized that.
“I know you would spare them pain if you could. You have a soft heart, darling. Don’t fear for them, too much. I wish there was another way.”
Kyuhyun stared up at the man who held him. Yes, he knew Zhou Mi wished there was another way, that Kyuhyun could have been spared any pain. At least when Siwon was told, when Han Geng let him know that he would have to fade in one world to live in the other, he and Zhou Mi could stand as an example that it wasn’t the end. The last month had not been long enough for the niggling fear to leave him, when Zhou Mi went to run an errand, or... Maybe that meant he was weak, but it also spoke of how much Zhou Mi was loved.
“It won’t be long, I think,” Zhou Mi said, stroking Kyuhyun’s back. “Siwon’s feelings must be very strong, if he was able to plead for the tree to bring them both here.”
“I guess you as spirits must have that effect on us.”
He sighed as Zhou Mi’s mouth cruised below his ear.
“And you for us,” Zhou Mi whispered.
***
Han Geng’s hand was on Siwon’s arm as he drove, still troubled. Zhou Mi had every number Siwon could be reached at, and Siwon had the same. His mind swirled with their conversation. It been interspersed with learning about each other, learning what the two men did for a living, Siwon sharing about his own life. But the important pieces had been about Han Geng. Han Geng, who was said to be a forest spirit, born of the spirit of a jaguar. A protector of the forest. A forest that was dying.
And Han Geng’s own life was in terrible danger. Siwon was meant to save him, and that was all they would tell him. There was more to the story there, he knew, but Zhou Mi, or Kyuhyun one, seemed determined that they could tell him no more than that. And that Zhou Mi really had once been a spirit, too...
“Why can you breathe here, then?” he’d asked Zhou Mi.
“Because I was born on Earth,” Zhou Mi told him gently.
He stared at the road as he pondered that. Two days ago he’d have said, well of course you were, obviously. So how did a forest spirit...from somewhere else...get to be born on this planet? Even Han Geng had looked away when Siwon had asked.
The flashing lights didn’t register at first, as they approached the building he lived in. Fire trucks. Police cars.
He parked cautiously, rolling down his window as a policeman approached.
“You live here, sir?” the man asked and got Siwon’s affirmative. “There was a fire on floor nine. Just one apartment, but the whole floor is smoked out.”
“I live on floor nine,” Siwon croaked. His things, his...
It wasn’t his apartment. But the one beside his. Sensitive smoke equipment had meant that they had caught it before it had spread, but still...
“I’d find a place to stay for the night,” the man said kindly. “No sense waiting around here as we clean it up. We’re trying to find the renter... Do you know him?”
Siwon could barely conjure a face, though they had lived beside each other for months.
“Fire? Where you live? I knew I felt something strange... Your home is okay?” Han Geng asked, worriedly as Siwon pulled back into the street.
“It’s okay,” he said, trying for a smile. Perhaps they could find Han Geng a real pair of shoes that fit, and some food. They could get a hotel room for the night... And try to figure some of this out.
***
Siwon did his best to hold onto Han Geng surreptitiously, but it was hard even in the small store they stopped at. Trying to look like he didn’t have a man on one arm while buying shoes, when picking up some food, getting out of the car and renting the room, was more challenging than he had expected.
He was hyper aware of Han Geng’s hand around his wrist as they waited for the elevator to lift them into place. That he couldn’t even comfort Han Geng in a place that was familiar to him... To be denied his apartment, where Siwon could show him things from his life, make Han Geng comfortable... It made him antsy. If Han Geng was anxious or scared...
They just had to drive all of that away.
Siwon used the passkey to open the hotel room door, holding it open so Han Geng could step inside, the little plastic bag of supplies in his hand. It was a nice room, subtly colored, but still... So, so different than what Han Geng would be used to. The pale mauve bedspread, the dark wood of the desk.
“Are you hungry?”
“Hungry...” Han Geng repeated. “For what you acquired... Food?”
Siwon stared at him. “Do you not...eat?”
“I never have.” Han Geng raised a hand to his stomach. “The forest, the trees and flowers... The animals... I survive on their presence.”
There was little in the room that even vaguely resembled something like that. There was a painting of flowers, but Siwon was almost positive that didn’t really count. He held up the mango he’d bought, a bit awkwardly, and Han Geng reached for it, touching it gently.
“Hungry...” he said softly.
Siwon peeled it with the knife he had thought to get, their legs crossing over each other’s after they had dropped their pants. It was the easiest way Siwon knew to keep them in constant contact. More skin that was bared, the more Han Geng could touch, and the more clothes that Han Geng wasn’t wearing, the more comfortable he seemed. Which, frankly, made Siwon happy and...quite honestly, the tiniest bit distracted. The tanned chest, the slender legs.
He cut a small piece of the fruit, hesitating. He met Han Geng’s eyes, lifting his hand and offering the sweet food to him. Han Geng’s lips closed on the tips of Siwon’s fingers, and the tingles it shot through him were... He caught himself before he could lean in, to taste it on Han Geng’s mouth.
“How is it?” Siwon asked, clearing his throat.
“Sweet. Good.”
“It’s the closest thing I have to something alive,” Siwon said, and sat, waiting until he had fed Han Geng most of it. Touching the tender lips with care, with almost glee that Han Geng leaned into him, eating consciously, deliberately. Tasting each piece, every morsel, as though the food from Siwon’s fingers was the finest thing on earth.
“So many things are different,” Han Geng said after a while, when the fruit was gone. “I don’t know how I can even think...”
“If you have any questions, ask, okay? I’ll try my best...”
Han Geng smiled, a sweet curve of lips. “If I didn’t have you...”
He took Han Geng’s hand, and guided him so they could get ready to sleep.
The bathroom was a totally different mystery. The porcelain fittings of toilet and sink, the glass-enclosed shower. Siwon tried to see it through the eyes of someone who had never seen something like it, and couldn’t even start to imagine what he would be most curious about. The mirror fascinated Han Geng, though he had started in surprise when they had come in front of it.
“I know what I look like... I’ve seen myself in the river,” Han Geng said, reaching to touch the glass. “But it’s like there are two other people here with us, behind it.”
Siwon had never thought of that before. It...sounded almost creepy when put that way.
“It’s just a reflection. Just an image.”
He really tried not to look as they stripped, to Han Geng’s confusion. Perhaps he thought they would be bathing in the river. The glass-enclosed shower stall was big enough to fit the both of them comfortably, if not spaciously. But then again... It wasn’t as though they were looking to move too far away from each other.
Han Geng stared at the the pipe and fitting, at the water flowing from it. Siwon stared with him, wondering what it must look like to him, this weird...thing sticking out of the tile and spouting water. A shower head to Siwon was as natural as... Well, any modern convenience, really. Things Han Geng had never seen...
“Where does the water come from?” Han Geng asked, cupping a hand to catch the heated water.
“I’ll explain some other time,” Siwon told him. It was hard to keep his focus as it was, hands on Han Geng’s now damp skin, and a lot more skin he hadn’t touched when it was wet. He could well imagine pressing that pretty back against the wall of the shower, and...
He fended off Han Geng’s hand before it could reach for any sensitive places of Siwon. “Not now,” he said, and focused instead on showing Han Geng how to wash his silky hair... And then the slight panic at the pain the suds caused in Han Geng’s eyes. When Han Geng turned back to him, the dark markings were gone, just Han Geng’s thick eyelashes rimming his eyes. As appealing as the makeup had been... This was how he thought of Han Geng, like this, eyes perfect without any aid.
He kept hold of Han Geng’s wrist as they stepped onto the bath mat, reaching for a towel to dry them both. With the towel, Siwon was quick... Thorough. Probably more thorough than he ought to have been. Han Geng looked ready to purr, eyes closed and hands on any part of Siwon he could reach, as Siwon scrubbed his skin dry. He laughed as Han Geng’s face snuggled into the cloth, and then the sounds... The tiny, basking little rumbles as Siwon dried his hair.
It was as though Han Geng had never been taken care of, never touched or cuddled. It was all Siwon could do not to pull him close and squeeze him.
“Can I...dry your hair for you?” Han Geng asked, meeting his eyes.
“Oh.” He was sure his eyes must be wide, but he hid that, draping the towel around his own neck and gripping Han Geng’s hips. “Yes, please.”
“It gives me pleasure to touch you,” Han Geng murmured, rubbing gently at Siwon’s hair. “To help you, be near you...”
They searched each other’s eyes as Siwon racked his brain for some way to respond to that.
Han Geng continued, “It should be me protecting you... But I can’t do that here. I couldn’t even protect you in my world. I can’t... I’m too weak in front of you.”
“Don’t think like that!” Siwon said, yanking Han Geng close and pressing his face into Han Geng’s neck. “Don’t say that. I’m glad... I’m glad I can be here for you. I’m glad I can...help you. You’re not weak, you’re dealing. Lean on me for a little while? Can you?”
“Siwon... Siwon, yes. I’ll stay with you.”
Siwon’s stomach trembled. Stay with him...
With a little awkwardness, he got them both back into boxers, and that was a little better... Less distraction, that way. Han Geng was...appealing in a way that he really didn’t know how to fight. But he was so dependent on Siwon...
Han Geng held his waist from behind as he used the little hotel toothbrush to clean his teeth. He thought of offering it to Han Geng, but couldn’t imagine... Did forest spirits brush their teeth? Han Geng was pressed against him from waist to shoulder, his cheek against the back of Siwon’s neck.
“I’m sorry...” Siwon said, turning in Han Geng’s arms. “This must all be so hard for you. Everything’s so different here.”
Han Geng shook his head. “It was different for you, too. We’ll work together, and it’ll be all right. You’re with me...”
“Come with me, and we’ll sleep.”
He kept an arm around Han Geng, leading him to the room’s only bed. The twinge of anticipation was quickly buried. Han Geng was unable to breathe on his own in an unfamiliar place... He wasn’t interested in Siwon’s clumsy advances.
Han Geng seemed a little weirded out by the blankets and sheets, scooting in at Siwon’s behest, still holding his hand, and waiting ever so expectantly for Siwon to join him. He curled into Siwon’s body, their legs, torsos, arms, meeting. Enough contact so that Han Geng would not be accidentally cut off from air.
“Are you okay?” Siwon asked, petting Han Geng’s hair.
“I’m fine.” Han Geng paused, humming. “Siwon... Could you...put your mouth on mine? Like you did, in the forest.”
Siwon’s breath was bottled inside of him. “A kiss?”
Han Geng made a sound of agreement. “I don’t know... If you don’t want, I don’t...”
Siwon tipped up Han Geng’s face, pressing his lips lightly against Han Geng’s. “Like that?”
“Yes...”
At that wistful sound, Siwon could not help dipping his head, kissing Han Geng again, asking for more. Han Geng’s tongue so lightly met his lip, and Siwon thought for sure he was going to go crazy, tasting Han Geng’s mouth with all of his senses, the generous gift of it. Han Geng’s hands were on his neck, his shoulders, urging him, begging him.
Han Geng’s throat vibrated, a little helpless whimper, and Siwon pulled back, licking his lips and trying desperately for control. He was harder than he had been in... He couldn’t even remember. All he wanted to do was roll Han Geng over, and... Mate, his head supplied. It was primal. Conquer, claim, watch that face go wild with pleasure that Siwon had given, and... There was no way that could happen in this bed.
“Siwon...” His name was said as a plea, and it made him shudder. He couldn’t even leave to take care of his problem.
Instead, he rolled Han Geng over, so Siwon could hug him from behind... Hips very obviously pulled back.
“I’m sorry. Sleep, okay?”
Han Geng’s fingers were tightly threaded through his, and they lay awake, both of them, waiting for their bodies to calm, until sleep finally claimed them.
***
It’s usual food wasn’t here, destruction, or death... It couldn’t lure animals out to their death... Wolves, deer... It had once lured a tiger. The heart had been sweet.
On this world, it seemed these humans, like the one it had taken over, were the only thinking beings. Two legged, awkward things, that couldn’t fly, and that were so weak... It would have enjoyed taking one in, tearing its flesh, hearing its screams. But it didn’t have a beak. It was limited to two, weak appendages.
So it preyed on the birds, the cooing, stinking birds that gathered to eat the refuse left behind. Pigeons, the human’s mind supplied. They weren’t worth the feathers they lived in.
It left a trail of feathers and broken bodies, eating only what appealed and leaving everything else. It needed to gain strength for its next attack. The spirit had been lucky, escaping that fire...
But it wouldn’t be next time...
***
Author: Coley Merrin
Rating: R overall
Pairings: Siwon/Hankyung
Also Featuring: Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun
Genre: AU, fantasy, angst, romance
Summary: Caught between two worlds, Siwon must find a way to save not only himself, but the jaguar spirit whose life hangs in the balance.
***
Part One * Part Two * Part Three
***
Siwon was still wrapping his mind around the fact that Han Geng knew Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi who must have been in the forest, or lived in the forest. Zhou Mi who lived on Earth. Lived with, he assumed, Kyuhyun. Knowing Han Geng could become a jaguar, assuming Zhou Mi could become an animal, a tiger, was no far stretch. Could he still, on Earth? If Zhou Mi had the jaguar figure, what was his motive of sending Siwon at all? If he’d found some way to leave...
“We’re going to see Zhou Mi...” Han Geng repeated, over and over while they drove. It was as though he didn’t quite believe it. “Zhou Mi is alive?”
“He seemed to be when I talked to him,” Siwon said, trying to be genuine in his distraction. “He was when he gave me the little carving, the other day.”
“Zhou Mi is alive.”
That tickled Siwon’s brain, that Han Geng should be so amazed and almost to the point of being disbelieving. But if Zhou Mi had left the forest, maybe Han Geng had assumed he was dead...? Siwon guided him up the stairs, Han Geng catching the trick of climbing them almost immediately.
It was the man Siwon knew as Zhou Mi that opened the door, Han Geng’s hand vising on his. Zhou Mi’s eyes careened off of Siwon, focusing on Han Geng. Seeing what Siwon saw, the dark eyes still marked with dark lining, the clearly ill fitting clothing.
“Han Geng!”
“Zhou Mi...”
Han Geng’s voice trembled, an outpouring of emotion as Han Geng forgot himself, letting go and stepping forward to touch Zhou Mi without fear.
Siwon felt a fission of unease as the two touched, and then panic as Han Geng began to drop.
Siwon caught him before his knees could hit the floor, murmuring wordlessly as Han Geng first fought, then relaxed, gulping for air.
Zhou Mi gave them space as they stood, Kyuhyun behind him, and closed the door behind them as Siwon led him inside.
“You’re not supposed to be here, yet... And if you’re here, and... You aren’t... You didn’t finish the ritual,” Zhou Mi said, startled. “What... What happened?”
“No,” Han Geng said, shaking his head, his hair moving with the force of his denial. “One of the death birds attacked before it could be done, and...”
He rested his face against Siwon’s neck, still catching his breath, and it took all that Siwon had in him not to turn and hold him there. Three times. Three times he had let Han Geng go, to the panic of not being able to breathe. He squeezed Han Geng’s side and contented himself with it. And then a thought snuck in.
“How do you know the ritual wasn’t done?” Siwon asked, suspicious. And what did “done” encompass?
“Because if he had touched me with the ritual completed, you both would be writhing in pain on the floor right now,” Zhou Mi explained, sighing, and wringing his hands. “It rises to the level of your connection. Did you... A death bird?”
“Let them tell you what happened,” Kyuhyun said, resting a comforting hand on Zhou Mi’s back. “Why don’t you both sit?”
Siwon repeated the tale. Waking in the forest, seeing the jaguar, Han Geng, fight the bird. The accidental kiss. He left out certain important bits. He couldn’t imagine detailing Han Geng’s hands on his skin, or his on Han Geng’s.
Had it only been less than a day? Falling asleep, finding Han Geng, saving him... Touching Han Geng. Feeling Han Geng touching him...
Han Geng squeezed his hand, and he realized that he’d drifted.
“So you came back through the tree,” Zhou Mi said softly. “And while the bird was attacking?”
“I had a bad feeling, where Siwon lives...” Han Geng said, leaning forward as though Zhou Mi could answer his concern. “I don’t know why. I feel...so strange here. I can’t sense things like I should.”
“It’s like that for me, a little,” Zhou Mi said. “I was born here without those senses, but I can remember what it was like. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be without it. But what you can sense... Is Siwon?”
Han Geng nodded.
“And you can’t breathe without him touching you...”
“How do I...how do we get back?” Han Geng asked, and Siwon’s heart clutched at the question. “Siwon...shouldn’t be here either?”
Zhou Mi hummed. “I don’t really know...”
“I don’t know how relevant this is, but...I can’t understand what Han Geng is saying,” Kyuhyun said.
“What he’s speaking is different than the language that I shared with you,” Zhou Mi told Kyuhyun. “We could all understand each other... But it’s a dialect... It’s different. It’s...really just for them.”
Siwon heard Zhou Mi’s explanation with hollow ears, taking in Han Geng’s white knuckles on the fists he was making.
Siwon was startled to find Kyuhyun’s dark eyes sharply focused on him when he looked up. “You must have a lot of questions about where it was you went,” Kyuhyun said. And it seemed to have the ring of empathy to it. Had Kyuhyun been tossed there as well?
“I have questions,” Siwon confirmed. “But... I want to make sure of Han Geng’s safety first. Everything else can wait.”
There was nothing else they could do... Nothing else until they could figure something out. No way to help Han Geng breathe without Siwon, no way to send them back. There had been looks of concern between Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun.
If they couldn’t figure out something, what would become of them? Siwon... He couldn’t take Han Geng to work with him. And there was no way to know just how long Han Geng’s body, not used to this air or this world, could sustain itself, even with Siwon near...
***
The door had barely shut behind the two men before Kyuhyun rounded on Zhou Mi. The fact that there was a spirit alive in Seoul was shocking enough, without adding him not being able to breathe and Zhou Mi’s clear anxiety into the mix. Especially for Kyuhyun, who had seen how happy Zhou Mi had been at Siwon’s call, to see him so pensive again.
“We didn’t tell Siwon nearly enough,” Kyuhyun argued. “He doesn’t even know Han Geng has to die!”
“How can we do that? If we tell him that they’ll be parted for any time at all...any!...Siwon might close himself off. If they can’t mate, heart and soul as well as body, how will Han Geng’s spirit know where to come?”
Zhou Mi touched his face.
“But there won’t be a long separation...” Kyuhyun insisted.
“I promised you we would be together, Kui Xian. And you still mourned for me.”
“But he has proof! You did find me.”
“We found each other, and they will, too. It is Han Geng’s place as Siwon’s mate to tell him,” Zhou Mi said gently. “We have to help them find a way back, but... I don’t think we can do more. If we interfere... It could mean both their lives.”
“It’s so...frustrating,” Kyuhyun said, making a sound that emphasized that.
“I know you would spare them pain if you could. You have a soft heart, darling. Don’t fear for them, too much. I wish there was another way.”
Kyuhyun stared up at the man who held him. Yes, he knew Zhou Mi wished there was another way, that Kyuhyun could have been spared any pain. At least when Siwon was told, when Han Geng let him know that he would have to fade in one world to live in the other, he and Zhou Mi could stand as an example that it wasn’t the end. The last month had not been long enough for the niggling fear to leave him, when Zhou Mi went to run an errand, or... Maybe that meant he was weak, but it also spoke of how much Zhou Mi was loved.
“It won’t be long, I think,” Zhou Mi said, stroking Kyuhyun’s back. “Siwon’s feelings must be very strong, if he was able to plead for the tree to bring them both here.”
“I guess you as spirits must have that effect on us.”
He sighed as Zhou Mi’s mouth cruised below his ear.
“And you for us,” Zhou Mi whispered.
***
Han Geng’s hand was on Siwon’s arm as he drove, still troubled. Zhou Mi had every number Siwon could be reached at, and Siwon had the same. His mind swirled with their conversation. It been interspersed with learning about each other, learning what the two men did for a living, Siwon sharing about his own life. But the important pieces had been about Han Geng. Han Geng, who was said to be a forest spirit, born of the spirit of a jaguar. A protector of the forest. A forest that was dying.
And Han Geng’s own life was in terrible danger. Siwon was meant to save him, and that was all they would tell him. There was more to the story there, he knew, but Zhou Mi, or Kyuhyun one, seemed determined that they could tell him no more than that. And that Zhou Mi really had once been a spirit, too...
“Why can you breathe here, then?” he’d asked Zhou Mi.
“Because I was born on Earth,” Zhou Mi told him gently.
He stared at the road as he pondered that. Two days ago he’d have said, well of course you were, obviously. So how did a forest spirit...from somewhere else...get to be born on this planet? Even Han Geng had looked away when Siwon had asked.
The flashing lights didn’t register at first, as they approached the building he lived in. Fire trucks. Police cars.
He parked cautiously, rolling down his window as a policeman approached.
“You live here, sir?” the man asked and got Siwon’s affirmative. “There was a fire on floor nine. Just one apartment, but the whole floor is smoked out.”
“I live on floor nine,” Siwon croaked. His things, his...
It wasn’t his apartment. But the one beside his. Sensitive smoke equipment had meant that they had caught it before it had spread, but still...
“I’d find a place to stay for the night,” the man said kindly. “No sense waiting around here as we clean it up. We’re trying to find the renter... Do you know him?”
Siwon could barely conjure a face, though they had lived beside each other for months.
“Fire? Where you live? I knew I felt something strange... Your home is okay?” Han Geng asked, worriedly as Siwon pulled back into the street.
“It’s okay,” he said, trying for a smile. Perhaps they could find Han Geng a real pair of shoes that fit, and some food. They could get a hotel room for the night... And try to figure some of this out.
***
Siwon did his best to hold onto Han Geng surreptitiously, but it was hard even in the small store they stopped at. Trying to look like he didn’t have a man on one arm while buying shoes, when picking up some food, getting out of the car and renting the room, was more challenging than he had expected.
He was hyper aware of Han Geng’s hand around his wrist as they waited for the elevator to lift them into place. That he couldn’t even comfort Han Geng in a place that was familiar to him... To be denied his apartment, where Siwon could show him things from his life, make Han Geng comfortable... It made him antsy. If Han Geng was anxious or scared...
They just had to drive all of that away.
Siwon used the passkey to open the hotel room door, holding it open so Han Geng could step inside, the little plastic bag of supplies in his hand. It was a nice room, subtly colored, but still... So, so different than what Han Geng would be used to. The pale mauve bedspread, the dark wood of the desk.
“Are you hungry?”
“Hungry...” Han Geng repeated. “For what you acquired... Food?”
Siwon stared at him. “Do you not...eat?”
“I never have.” Han Geng raised a hand to his stomach. “The forest, the trees and flowers... The animals... I survive on their presence.”
There was little in the room that even vaguely resembled something like that. There was a painting of flowers, but Siwon was almost positive that didn’t really count. He held up the mango he’d bought, a bit awkwardly, and Han Geng reached for it, touching it gently.
“Hungry...” he said softly.
Siwon peeled it with the knife he had thought to get, their legs crossing over each other’s after they had dropped their pants. It was the easiest way Siwon knew to keep them in constant contact. More skin that was bared, the more Han Geng could touch, and the more clothes that Han Geng wasn’t wearing, the more comfortable he seemed. Which, frankly, made Siwon happy and...quite honestly, the tiniest bit distracted. The tanned chest, the slender legs.
He cut a small piece of the fruit, hesitating. He met Han Geng’s eyes, lifting his hand and offering the sweet food to him. Han Geng’s lips closed on the tips of Siwon’s fingers, and the tingles it shot through him were... He caught himself before he could lean in, to taste it on Han Geng’s mouth.
“How is it?” Siwon asked, clearing his throat.
“Sweet. Good.”
“It’s the closest thing I have to something alive,” Siwon said, and sat, waiting until he had fed Han Geng most of it. Touching the tender lips with care, with almost glee that Han Geng leaned into him, eating consciously, deliberately. Tasting each piece, every morsel, as though the food from Siwon’s fingers was the finest thing on earth.
“So many things are different,” Han Geng said after a while, when the fruit was gone. “I don’t know how I can even think...”
“If you have any questions, ask, okay? I’ll try my best...”
Han Geng smiled, a sweet curve of lips. “If I didn’t have you...”
He took Han Geng’s hand, and guided him so they could get ready to sleep.
The bathroom was a totally different mystery. The porcelain fittings of toilet and sink, the glass-enclosed shower. Siwon tried to see it through the eyes of someone who had never seen something like it, and couldn’t even start to imagine what he would be most curious about. The mirror fascinated Han Geng, though he had started in surprise when they had come in front of it.
“I know what I look like... I’ve seen myself in the river,” Han Geng said, reaching to touch the glass. “But it’s like there are two other people here with us, behind it.”
Siwon had never thought of that before. It...sounded almost creepy when put that way.
“It’s just a reflection. Just an image.”
He really tried not to look as they stripped, to Han Geng’s confusion. Perhaps he thought they would be bathing in the river. The glass-enclosed shower stall was big enough to fit the both of them comfortably, if not spaciously. But then again... It wasn’t as though they were looking to move too far away from each other.
Han Geng stared at the the pipe and fitting, at the water flowing from it. Siwon stared with him, wondering what it must look like to him, this weird...thing sticking out of the tile and spouting water. A shower head to Siwon was as natural as... Well, any modern convenience, really. Things Han Geng had never seen...
“Where does the water come from?” Han Geng asked, cupping a hand to catch the heated water.
“I’ll explain some other time,” Siwon told him. It was hard to keep his focus as it was, hands on Han Geng’s now damp skin, and a lot more skin he hadn’t touched when it was wet. He could well imagine pressing that pretty back against the wall of the shower, and...
He fended off Han Geng’s hand before it could reach for any sensitive places of Siwon. “Not now,” he said, and focused instead on showing Han Geng how to wash his silky hair... And then the slight panic at the pain the suds caused in Han Geng’s eyes. When Han Geng turned back to him, the dark markings were gone, just Han Geng’s thick eyelashes rimming his eyes. As appealing as the makeup had been... This was how he thought of Han Geng, like this, eyes perfect without any aid.
He kept hold of Han Geng’s wrist as they stepped onto the bath mat, reaching for a towel to dry them both. With the towel, Siwon was quick... Thorough. Probably more thorough than he ought to have been. Han Geng looked ready to purr, eyes closed and hands on any part of Siwon he could reach, as Siwon scrubbed his skin dry. He laughed as Han Geng’s face snuggled into the cloth, and then the sounds... The tiny, basking little rumbles as Siwon dried his hair.
It was as though Han Geng had never been taken care of, never touched or cuddled. It was all Siwon could do not to pull him close and squeeze him.
“Can I...dry your hair for you?” Han Geng asked, meeting his eyes.
“Oh.” He was sure his eyes must be wide, but he hid that, draping the towel around his own neck and gripping Han Geng’s hips. “Yes, please.”
“It gives me pleasure to touch you,” Han Geng murmured, rubbing gently at Siwon’s hair. “To help you, be near you...”
They searched each other’s eyes as Siwon racked his brain for some way to respond to that.
Han Geng continued, “It should be me protecting you... But I can’t do that here. I couldn’t even protect you in my world. I can’t... I’m too weak in front of you.”
“Don’t think like that!” Siwon said, yanking Han Geng close and pressing his face into Han Geng’s neck. “Don’t say that. I’m glad... I’m glad I can be here for you. I’m glad I can...help you. You’re not weak, you’re dealing. Lean on me for a little while? Can you?”
“Siwon... Siwon, yes. I’ll stay with you.”
Siwon’s stomach trembled. Stay with him...
With a little awkwardness, he got them both back into boxers, and that was a little better... Less distraction, that way. Han Geng was...appealing in a way that he really didn’t know how to fight. But he was so dependent on Siwon...
Han Geng held his waist from behind as he used the little hotel toothbrush to clean his teeth. He thought of offering it to Han Geng, but couldn’t imagine... Did forest spirits brush their teeth? Han Geng was pressed against him from waist to shoulder, his cheek against the back of Siwon’s neck.
“I’m sorry...” Siwon said, turning in Han Geng’s arms. “This must all be so hard for you. Everything’s so different here.”
Han Geng shook his head. “It was different for you, too. We’ll work together, and it’ll be all right. You’re with me...”
“Come with me, and we’ll sleep.”
He kept an arm around Han Geng, leading him to the room’s only bed. The twinge of anticipation was quickly buried. Han Geng was unable to breathe on his own in an unfamiliar place... He wasn’t interested in Siwon’s clumsy advances.
Han Geng seemed a little weirded out by the blankets and sheets, scooting in at Siwon’s behest, still holding his hand, and waiting ever so expectantly for Siwon to join him. He curled into Siwon’s body, their legs, torsos, arms, meeting. Enough contact so that Han Geng would not be accidentally cut off from air.
“Are you okay?” Siwon asked, petting Han Geng’s hair.
“I’m fine.” Han Geng paused, humming. “Siwon... Could you...put your mouth on mine? Like you did, in the forest.”
Siwon’s breath was bottled inside of him. “A kiss?”
Han Geng made a sound of agreement. “I don’t know... If you don’t want, I don’t...”
Siwon tipped up Han Geng’s face, pressing his lips lightly against Han Geng’s. “Like that?”
“Yes...”
At that wistful sound, Siwon could not help dipping his head, kissing Han Geng again, asking for more. Han Geng’s tongue so lightly met his lip, and Siwon thought for sure he was going to go crazy, tasting Han Geng’s mouth with all of his senses, the generous gift of it. Han Geng’s hands were on his neck, his shoulders, urging him, begging him.
Han Geng’s throat vibrated, a little helpless whimper, and Siwon pulled back, licking his lips and trying desperately for control. He was harder than he had been in... He couldn’t even remember. All he wanted to do was roll Han Geng over, and... Mate, his head supplied. It was primal. Conquer, claim, watch that face go wild with pleasure that Siwon had given, and... There was no way that could happen in this bed.
“Siwon...” His name was said as a plea, and it made him shudder. He couldn’t even leave to take care of his problem.
Instead, he rolled Han Geng over, so Siwon could hug him from behind... Hips very obviously pulled back.
“I’m sorry. Sleep, okay?”
Han Geng’s fingers were tightly threaded through his, and they lay awake, both of them, waiting for their bodies to calm, until sleep finally claimed them.
***
It’s usual food wasn’t here, destruction, or death... It couldn’t lure animals out to their death... Wolves, deer... It had once lured a tiger. The heart had been sweet.
On this world, it seemed these humans, like the one it had taken over, were the only thinking beings. Two legged, awkward things, that couldn’t fly, and that were so weak... It would have enjoyed taking one in, tearing its flesh, hearing its screams. But it didn’t have a beak. It was limited to two, weak appendages.
So it preyed on the birds, the cooing, stinking birds that gathered to eat the refuse left behind. Pigeons, the human’s mind supplied. They weren’t worth the feathers they lived in.
It left a trail of feathers and broken bodies, eating only what appealed and leaving everything else. It needed to gain strength for its next attack. The spirit had been lucky, escaping that fire...
But it wouldn’t be next time...
***