so i let the sun run down my face and as it reaches my lips it pulls. it pulls out the words i cannot say and i am paralyzed by the thrill. the thrill of the wonder of the many things inside. inside my mind that usually hide behind the face of lies. the lies that are bleached by the sun that runs down my face just now.

ooook.so, i need to sell my car and my other things i dont need. i need to gain about 3,000 dollars. and i need to check on lead time at my job.

why?

so that i can go to italy, or egypt and take a 4 week training course on teaching and interacting with children of other cultures so that i may teach them things like english, and art.

go me. i've managed to find myself in love with another guy who is never there for me when i need him to be. sure he's there for me, but i have to ask him to be. today for example ( Read more... )

i'll back you up is on. i love this song. i cried the first time i ever heard it. not because i was sad or anything. but because it gave me some sort of hope. that someone could feel these things. could put it into words put it into music. i need to feel these things. i need to have these things felt in my direction. too much drink is in ( Read more... )

Never is a promise ( Read more... )

even the small part of my soul that i still possess is worth more than this. much more than this mediocre life i've absent mindedly built for myself. 'this life' i say loosely. for it isnt a life at all, its more of a stroll through time. simply passing along until i die. and i can only stand to pass the same tree one more time. then i'll ( Read more... )

i'm worried about me. i feel like such a silly girl. lately i've been finding myself in a constant state of neediness. i wish it would stop.

i wrote a letter. only 2 pages, i kept it short and tactful. he read said letter and then addressed it. i feel muuuuuch better. i love him. and he's silly to think otherwise, even though i know i'm a difficult person to be with.

i'm so confused right now. 99% of the time that i spend with jason i am happier than i have ever been. but then there are somethings that i have a hard time dealing with. he's the kind of guy that is very confidant and enjoys flirting with every female he sees. i mean he'll flirt with a 87 year old woman just a soon as he'd flirt with a 20 year ( Read more... )

on another note...

saw transformers tonight. THAT MOVIE IS KICK ASS. really it is. they actually kept with the origional story line. the characters were all well played. the transformers and the action and all the effects were virtually flawless. i loved it. LOVED IT.

*going to closet to find old optimus prime action figure.....*