(no subject)
i'm so confused right now. 99% of the time that i spend with jason i am happier than i have ever been. but then there are somethings that i have a hard time dealing with. he's the kind of guy that is very confidant and enjoys flirting with every female he sees. i mean he'll flirt with a 87 year old woman just a soon as he'd flirt with a 20 year old hottie, and i know that its harmless... but is it? i've known him for 4 1/2 years now and i've known him to be somewhat of a ladies man if i can say that without sounding cheesy as hell. he cheated on his last girlfriend, he's proposed to a female once before, granted it was his college girlfriend and that was about 10 years ago, but still. his heart seems somewhat fickle to me. he's told atleast 4 women at some point that he wanted them to be the mothers of his children. and all of this was before me. i know this, but if he's been so fickle in the past.... will he be the same in the future? and on that note, one of these women that he's loved so much is still one of his best friends, and i dont know if i can handle that much longer. i saw a message on his phone to her one day that he wanted to have phone sex with her, and this was recently.... but he says that it's just an inside joke. and i shouldnt worry about it or take it for real.... but that sounds to easily like a lie. and so i said that even if i was kidding... out of respect for him, i would never say that to someone else. so i just dont know. i love him. i'm in love with him. but it feels like he'll hurt me in a way i've never been hurt before. maybe i'm just scared. maybe i'm projecting. he says that i need to give him time to love me, that i should trust him. but doesnt everyone say they can be trusted? especially the liars?