Comments | co_workers_suck: [STICKIED] Community Question Post #20

theidolhands in co_workers_suck

[STICKIED] Community Question Post #20

Feb 13, 2015 10:55

Each week we post a new question for the members of the community to answer! As usual, if you have a question you'd like to see answered by the community, leave it in a comment on this post.

theidolhands asks: "Did you ever have a coworker/boss that you liked who ended up turning against you? What were the circumstances? Where are they now?"

office romance, co-worker, nepotism, busted, scapegoat, two-faced, playing favorites, fights, fair weather friend, cronyism, human resources, bickering, ladder climber, flirting, relationships, office politics, we're cool but not that cool, *theme post, good friend but a bad worker, tattle tale, manipulation, passing the buck, spy, backstabber

Comments 35

theflyers February 13 2015, 19:07:17 UTC

Not personally! But my former supervisor, from my very first job was used as a scapegoat by our boss/the owner of the company ( ... )

HOW HORRIBLE AND TOTALLY UNFAIR theidolhands February 13 2015, 19:20:28 UTC

One client. Dang.

I wish you could've been the reference instead. And thanks for making me see that I should add scapegoat as a tag.

Re: HOW HORRIBLE AND TOTALLY UNFAIR theflyers February 13 2015, 19:31:09 UTC

I was right out of high school, it was the craziest adventure ever.

I got there and there was a case against the former general manager for embezzlement. She actually counter sued and won MORE money from them for "Back commission" instead. Her best friend was actually the A/R gal, who was actually the sweetest woman ever and kept her distance from all that at least. She used to tell me "This is the best first job for you because then when you move on to better things, you'll know what the bottom is." LOL oh my goodness.

He started out strong, having a good standing in the community with the local florists, that was before my time though. Then he decided he couldn't bother with them and would brush them off. It was so bizarre.

He was also afraid of computers though, so he'd stand outside our "office" which was actually a tented in area in a warehouse and shout orders to have us looking things up on the computers for him. Doh. He was a strange...strange little man.

Rant ahoy! TL;DR boss/coworker stabbed me in the back venatorrooc February 13 2015, 19:57:37 UTC

Oh boy do I! I worked with the boss every night so all of this completely blindsided me. The boss said nothing to me about any of this despite working together every night for a month, and the one coworker apparently has been blamed for three previous workers quitting (she's said this to me herself!) and now I see why.

The boss apparently had cancer, years ago, survived it. She didn't say anything about her not being allowed to lift things. I got a lecture from her son-in-law who didn't even work there who also called me lazy. The boss didn't say anything so how was I to know? (I'm not about to babysit adults, much less my BOSS who is also the store OWNER)

We were allowed to eat a meal from the kitchen when we worked and the boss herself said that we didn't have to pay for the food (unless it was like a bag of chips). A couple nights we got so busy that I wasn't able to eat the food I made for myself so the boss would package it up for me to go. She did this at least three times the month I worked there. Son-in-law-who-doesn't-work- ( ... )

Re: Rant ahoy! TL;DR boss/coworker stabbed me in the back kaspurr February 13 2015, 20:39:37 UTC

i agree. You got pushed out because you didn't fit in. been there a lot.

they prob hired a typical girly girl after you left. i'm not girly either and even less homophobic people like to be around people who are like them or who are no threat to them (like if you have a lover, then it's cooler to know you bc it shows how 'open-minded' they are).

actually, i don't dislike kids but i ain't got none either (no sex w/ men lol), and try to keep my uterus issues to myself. srsly, that stuff is no one's business. not even my period. eff off and let's talk about something diff at work, feel me? i hate when ppl egg a conversation out of you then hold it against you if they don't like the answers

i've been in situations where i got pushed out for the opposite of prejudice, like if you're gay and they want to experiment then you should be totally up for that and have no preferences or care if they're in a long term relationship or cheating.

i'm glad u didn't need the job. but wish you could get revenge on that brother-in-law

Re: Rant ahoy! TL;DR boss/coworker stabbed me in the back kharmii February 13 2015, 22:19:11 UTC

I've had people turn on me because I wasn't the typical female type too. I've also had people turn on me because they stereotype me as being like one thing, then I'd go off and do or say something crazy different, like your icon of a dog saying quack. :-D

Re: Rant ahoy! TL;DR boss/coworker stabbed me in the back venatorrooc February 17 2015, 13:07:42 UTC

It's like they don't think complex people exist or something haha. Then again, small town hillbillies.

Thread 8

imjustdifrent February 13 2015, 19:58:56 UTC

Several... all at the same job. There was the server who was diagnosed bipolar and never took her meds properly, so it was always a coin toss whether we'd have a pleasant night or if she'd threaten my life and later say she was joking ( ... )

kaspurr February 13 2015, 20:27:53 UTC

woah, sounds like an intense place to work? is the neighborhood good or the tips?

why do you keep communicating with such sketchy people? was all that after they backstabbed you?

i too have had a lot of bad incidences with bipolar people who won't take thier meds and have angry/volatile personalities coupled with nice behavior (which is extra hinky), it's really confusing when you don't know that's what is going on or that it's happening to others

imjustdifrent February 22 2015, 01:12:25 UTC

I was a night-shift server at a 24hr diner. Drama and backstabbery were basically in the job description, and even though there were several times when I wanted to leave... there were often circumstances in place that prevented me from doing so. It didn't help that a lot of the people who tried to leave often found themselves unable to get employment anywhere else because the managers would give such shit reviews, so their options were coming back to the chain or finding a job with a place that doesn't call for references ( ... )

kaspurr February 22 2015, 02:06:12 UTC

Oh yeah, been there with vindictive managers. Best thing to do in that circ is have a friend call first and pretend to be a workplace to see what they say. It's also illegal to really say things like a person was lousy even if they were actually lousy, let alone volunteer it when it's not actually the case.

Thread 5

ellex42 February 13 2015, 20:01:12 UTC

I had a coworker turn against me. We had gotten along quite well for about 5 years. Then she got a promotion (it wasn't much of a promotion, and it didn't come with a raise) and suddenly it was like she was a completely different person. Our supervisor (who wanted to get rid of her, but was powerless to do so because said coworker was a spy and tattletale for the GM) told me that she'd done the same thing to several other people before I had joined the company.

She spread rumors about me (within my hearing), mostly that my house was filthy, so no one should eat any treats I brought in.

Since she'd never been to my house, I don't know why anyone would believe that she knew how clean it was or wasn't, but the whole business was incredibly toxic.

kaspurr February 13 2015, 20:31:43 UTC

ugh. did you hear her say that about your home and treats?

what a joke, i'm sure we've all eaten treats from someone's home where hygeine wasn't perfect and nobody died. who is she, martha stewart?

guess she still works there, yes?

ellex42 February 14 2015, 00:49:49 UTC

I heard her say all sorts of things about me - she was very deliberate about letting me hear her talk. As the boss's tattletale, she was untouchable, and she knew it.

theidolhands February 13 2015, 21:35:33 UTC

Five years?!

That's a really long time. That's really a let down.

Thread 6

rusti_knight February 14 2015, 01:16:06 UTC

There's only been one that I know of, since I tend to be blissfully unaware of most backstabbing until it actually begins to cause problems ( ... )

theidolhands February 14 2015, 01:26:41 UTC

This happened to me too, this kind of thing. In all cases, the person was jealous or feared I would take the job they wanted, when my intent was never anything but to do the best job possible. It's a real pity when a backstabber like this gets more attention than the actual work that someone is doing. I'm glad you got recognized, I don't think that ever happened in my circumstances...eventually the backstabbers won and the company traded a decent employee for a nasty/toxic one. I'd love to see a revolt against toxic employees the way we've seen one against bullying.

rusti_knight February 14 2015, 01:32:08 UTC

I haven't even got a clue what she could have been jealous of. I mean, I tried to work hard, but there's always somebody better than me at whatever I'm trying to do. She was a very pretty woman, and I have the potential, I suppose, but I didn't and don't spend a lot of time on my appearance. I never even got in her way.

That was 10-11 years ago now and I still don't get it. Probably doesn't help that I wasn't manufactured to be that way. If I don't like you, or disapprove of what you're doing, you will know. You will know before the boss does.

ellex42 February 16 2015, 18:12:32 UTC

Why did the owner even listen to your coworker if it was clear that you were doing your job and it was all bullshit?

I've seen this kind of thing before, though, where everyone seems to believe every word that comes out of a certain person's mouth, and once that person leaves, claim that they knew that person was lying and stirring up trouble all along. Usually they seem to be intimidated and afraid of making that person angry/upset. Doubly bad when it's the owner who is that intimidated/influenced.

Thread 6