Vacation-a Kat-Tun and News fic
KAT-TUN and NewS
Title:Vacation
Universe: JE
Theme: More beach drabbles…
Rating: PG?
Character/Pairings: Involves all of KT and News, some TegoRyo, KoyaTo
Warning: Crack!
Summary: Various drabbles based on a beach theme...and Jin causing all members pain
Disclaimer: If I owned them I’d be one very happy girl.
.1.Because jet planes are cool
“WHEEEEEEEE!!!!”
Akanishi Jin sprinted towards the ocean with his arms outstretched and turned to look at his best friend.
“Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat! Wherrrrrrreow! Look Pi, I’m a super fastsexysmart fighter plane! I can soar at top speed! I have a cool paint job! My plane is pimped! I AM INVINCIBLEEE!!!”
Pi watched as Jin tripped over a rock and fell headfirst into the sea. He made a shooting gesture with his hand.
“Bang.”
2.Plants need sunlight
Ryo glared under his eyes at Ueda who was currently lounging beneath a palm tree. Sissy. Wouldn’t even step into the sun, Ryo knew he was abnormal and probably evolved from some alien pod, but his obsession with Gackt had gone too far. Just because the rocker was the Master in disguise it didn’t mean Ueda had to b his little minion. He was a Johnny for god’s sake, Johnny’s didn’t hide away from the sun! They welcomed it like a drunk welcomes an orgy, with open arms! They threw off their shirts with glee and let the world see their perfect, glistening bodies and perfectly tanned skin…Ueda was like a dead fish.
“Oy! Ueda-hime! Come on from your royal sunshade demon! Come out I say!”
Ueda ignored him.
“Look Uebo, do you want to make us look bad? When we’re all tanned and god-like (well I’m already immortal and you’re halfway to becoming one of the undead) you’re going to look like an eggplant! Dead and gray! You’re supposed to be an idol!”
Ueda glared at Ryo.
“At least eggplants taste good and have a use. You’d be a useless plant, you’d probably kill an elephant with your bitter taste.”
Ryo was stunned. Ueda answered him back for once. He recovered quickly though.
“Hah! You’re the one who’d kill someone, look at you, you’re so pasty and pale, a newborn baby would die of fright! I’d be an excellent plant, I wouldn’t even be a measly plant, I’d be a powerful and tall tree!”
“You’d be a weed.”
Ueda stood up and walked away. Ryo twitched. Eggplant.
Jin walked past cheerily.
“You’re losing your touch Ryo-tan!”
Ryo threw a rock. It didn’t miss. Ryo preened.
3.Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink.
Tegoshi was thirsty. He and Massu had been building sandcastles all day, one for everyone. They’d even decorated them with leaves and shells and made gardens or moats depending on the person (Massu said Ryo needed a moat with sharks and a sign that said ‘Idiots not welcome!’) Massu had made his castle in the shape of a nikuman and decorated it lovingly with hearts. Shige and Koyama had come along later and said they’d build their own. Tegoshi pouted, it’d been a good break from the usual hectic day at Johnny’s but now he was hot and tired and Massu had long since wandered off to the toilet. The drinks were all gone except for some left over soda (which was boiling hot due to being left in the sun). Pouting even more Tegoshi thought for a while.
“Ah! Coconut!”
There were plenty of coconuts here. Now he just had to get one…
“Tanaka-kun!” Yep, Koki would help him. He was a strong manly man (somewhere Ryo sneezed) and would easily be able to get the coconut.
“What’s up Tegoshi?”
Tegoshi widened his eyes and clasped his hands behind him, his left foot shifting nervously in the sand. Koki felt himself melt…he looked like a puppy that’d been kicked.
“I’m thirsty and there’s no drinks left…can you get me that coconut please? It’s much much too high for me Koki-kun…and I’m ever so thirsty.” *cue puppy eyes*
Koki scrambled up the tree like the monkey he was and came back down, coconut in hand. Tegoshi grabbed it and pulled him into a bear hug.
“Thank you!”
He bounded away happily towards an equally happy Junno (Koki didn’t know why he was happy…he was always happy).
Koki blinked.
4. Even Ryo has his limits..
Nakamaru pulled the palm leaves closer and tried to stifle a groan. Dear God….he didn’t know how much more he could take.
“Koki….Koki…Ahhh!”
Koki looked up, his eyes dazed.
“What is it?”
“I can’t take anymore of Jin’s singing!!!”
Nakamaru burst into tears which soon changed into gut-wrenching sobs. Koki patted him on the back.
“Don’t worry; I think he’ll stop soon.”
Hey! Hey! You! You!
Don’t you think I’m cooool?
Ryo twitched. His hands shook. A vein throbbed. Massu moved away.
That’s right! That’s right!
His mouth twisted into a sneer and a growling noise was heard. Koyama and Shige looked at each other and moved as far away as possible. Ryo fixed his eyes on Jin, his guitar, and his infernal dancing.
I know I’m sexy tooo!
Hey! Hey!
Ryo cracked. He grabbed Jin’s guitar and whapped him multiple times on the head.
“Shut up! Shut up! Godamnit, if you’re going to sing in English at least have the decency to SING THE RIGHT LYRICS YOU INCOMPETANT FOOL!”
Ryo began viciously playing the guitar, a manic gleam in his eye. Everyone except a very very scared Jin took a step back. Ryo began giggling. Inwardly Jin wept.
“Oh God Ryo’s cracked.”
Ueda took out a voodoo doll…..just in case.
HEY! HEY! YOU! YOU!
YOU’RE A STUPID FOOL!
THAT’S RIGHT! THAT’S RIGHT!
YOU’RE A RETARD TOOOO!
HEY YOU!
Ryo smashed the guitar against a tree, let out a feral snarl and stomped off. Nobody moved. A bluebottle made a home in Jin’s open mouth. Tegomass clutched each other in fear. Kame looked shocked. Ueda put away his voodoo doll. It was Pi who spoke first.
“So. Who wants to go after him?”
Pi found himself alone with Jin. Looking at the still frozen Jin he gave him thumbs up.
“Ganbatte.” Pi stalked off in search of the treasure he’d heard was buried somewhere.
When Jin snapped out of his trance (and swallowed the fly) he started to cry.
‘DOUSHITEEEEE?”
5. Chivalry is NOT dead.
Tegoshi was miserable. He didn’t know how to open the coconut…he tried smashing it against the tree and against various rocks (which now lay shattered) but nothing had worked. He’d asked Akanishi-kun to help but all he’d done was smash it against a crab (“Oooh look Tegoshi! Dinner!). Kamenashi-kun had also tried breaking it and succeeded in breaking his nails. Yep, Tegoshi was getting pretty depressed and even more thirsty.
“Trouble Tegoshi?” Ryo was looked at him sympathetically. Tegoshi trembled.
“RYO-TAAAAAN! I’m so thirsssssty and nobody can help me open this coconut! I’ve tried and tried and nothing works! Help me Ryo-tan!”
Ryo bent down and swept the coconut out of his hands flashing his patented ‘Sexy Osaka Man ©’ smile.
“No problem Tego-nyan.”
Ryo smashed the coconut on Jin’s head. It opened. So did Jin’s head.
“Here you go…drink up!”
Tegoshi beamed…he beamed so much you could see the love hearts and bunnies dancing around him.
“Thank you!!”
At the side Pi, Kame and Koki looked on. Kame and Koki winced.
“Wow, who knew his head was so hard?”
“Well, we all knew Jin’s pretty thick right?”
They all nodded.
“Tego-nyan…opening that coconut was hard work. Don’t you think I should have a reward?”
Shige almost had a heart attack when he saw Tegoshi giving Ryo some coconut juice…mouth to mouth.
A/N: Thanks to all the people who reviewed me last time.
Doushite=Why?
Ganbatte=Good Luck