Meglos
Previous: The Leisure Hive
Meglos
Huh. I think this is the Classic story I've seen with two people credited as the writer at the beginning. With this title sequence anyway...
And now back to Fixing K-9's, on the TARDIS Channel. With your hosts, the Fourth Doctor and Romana II.
"No no please, can we just do ONE thing at a time?"
"First thing's first?"
"Exactly."
"But not necessarily in that order."
Romana's face=win
So this is the last serial I have to watch of season 18. Which begs the question: do I play the "are Tom and Lalla having a bad day" game?
No, no I probably shouldn't. But my brain might subconsciously do it anyway. If it does, I'll try to spare you guys.
I will be amused forever if ALL the inhabitants of this planet turn out to have those blonde bowl-cuts.
WOAH HELLO BARBARA. I MEAN JACQUELINE HILL.
*Four clears throat* "Post-Repair Test Questions: K-9, can you hear me?"
"Affirmative, mistress."
Random man in a business suit on an alien world! He kinda looks like he just walked out of a London office.
So Meglos has been introduced as a Mysterious Disembodied Voice. Wow, what a concept.
Wait, never mind, he's a giant talking cactus. THAT'S a new one on me.
I've only just realized how little we're actually seeing of Four and Romana in this episode. Fix this, guys.
So they've acknowledged that the guy in the suit is an Earthling, but this doesn't seem to be puzzling anybody. Maybe it's The Future.
Oh wow. All this time I've heard about Meglos!Doctor and they've called him cactus!Doctor, I didn't think they were being THIS literal.
(okay, so the Doctor himself hasn't been converted yet, but they've just show how Meglos's powers work)
K-9's fixed! And Romana's so proud of him she honestly sounds like she's about to cry.
Woah woah wait...was that a weird skip in the video or did they ACTUALLY just relive the past half a minute?
"Flies trapped in amber..." The video's fine o_o
So I wonder how many times Four will be doomed to trip over that book on the floor before he and Romana save themselves?
"Oh blast, here we go again." There's NO WAY that that line being the first in the time loop was unintentional.
WAIT HOW DID FOUR MAGICALLY TRANSPORT HIMSELF THROUGH THE SCREEN AND INTO THAT ROOM UNLESS THAT'S MEGLOS SCREWING WITH US WHAT
So here's my question: if they're stuck in a time loop, how do they have so much time at the end of it to talk and try and figure stuff out?
I'm assuming this must be the "lust aggressive vegetation" that Romana spoke of last episode.
"Don't think so hard, you'll burst something."
"...I like his coat."
There's something about someone telling the Doctor "you haven't changed much" that just makes me giggle.
This is one of the most sigh-inducing padding techniques I've seen on this show. I really wish I was counting these...
On the other hand, watching Tom Baker trip repeatedly is actually quite entertaining.
"Well done. You know, for one awful moment, I thought you'd forgotten your lines."
Wow. Meglos!Four is a conniving old bugger, isn't he? (And it took me THIS LONG to find out that "conniving" isn't spelled with a K)
WAIT A SECOND I AM VERY CONFUSED BY WHAT ROMANA IS WEARING NOW. Seriously, what IS that?
I know I watched the Lalla's Wardrobe feature on the Warriors' Gate DVD but...I REALLY don't remember this outfit.
I just realized that even though Four gets duplicated a LOT in this show, this is the first time I've seen Tom play 2 different characters.
were in ur forrist, nommin ur romanaz.
Now I need to smack myself for not thinking of this for Good Companion Criteria: be able to save yourself once in a while.
In other words, good thing you had those giant plant clippers hooked to your belt, Romana. #timeladiesftw
Here's a techno-contrast I don't understand. They obviously have some form of power to run those computers, so why do they need torches?
Cactus!Four! Now with convenient identifying prickles!
I just noticed that the guards appear to be wearing half-Darth-Vader-helmets. What.
As OTP as Four and Romana are, I think that's one of the only times I've heard him show concern for her when she was missing.
Ultimately, I think that can all be chalked up to Tom playing up Four's more alien nature. Then again, Romana's one of his own...
Now I know what Romana's outfit actually reminds me of: a pirate (no really).
Wow. According to Wikipedia, episodes 2-4 of this serial are a good 3-5 minutes shorter than nearly every other Classic episode. Wonder why.
Okay. I WANT to say that Meglos just pulled off a pseudo-hug-tiem but...honestly, that defies description.
"You'll have to do better than that, Doctor. I think you're a fraud and a liar."
"Well, that makes even LESS sense."
Trying to figure out exactly why I find this disturbing: because Four/Tom never touches people like that, or because Meglos is just creepy.
"But why should I lead you out of the city, Doctor?"
"Well precisely because I'm NOT the Doctor."
"Then who are you?"
"I AM *MEGLOS*!!!"
Guys, no text enhancement allowed on Twitter can POSSIBLY emphasize just how genuinely hammy and TERRIFYING Tom's delivery of that line was.
Seriously, and I thought I'd seen his eyes do EVERYTHING. That was honestly hard to watch a second time.
Oh Romana, you're having fun leading these guys in every wrong direction ever, aren't you? Unless you're actually lost...
So they're going to send Four to rescue the Dodecahedron from "the gods" by sacrificing him. YAY FANATICAL RELIGIOUS LOGIC!
And Romana led them right into the killer plant grove. Called it.
If I could think of one, I would make a win-related "my pretty, and your little dog too" reference here.
This is the strangest portrayal of literal split personalities I've ever seen on television. Even more than Nikki in the mirror on Heroes.
To clarify, the human Meglos absorbed earlier appears to be taking an attached gossamer form and ATTEMPTING TO STRANGLE HIM.
Uh oh, Romana you're probably going to regret that later...
I don't think I've said it enough in this story: evil!Tom is SCARY. (Which begs the question, how much will Invasion of Time break my mind?)
Wait. If the design of that contraption is to be believed, Four is going to be sacrificed by having a giant rock dropped on him.
It seems I'm right. So of COURSE they take their time with this and cut the ropes by...burning through them one at a time. ...wow.
Well, here we go...my last time seeing Tom's JNT-era titles...
"I lost 50% of my crew on Tigella."
"Three men? That's the price of success, general."
Kay...would you mind explaining exactly what the Screens of Zolfa-Thura ARE? Clearly they're important, but they haven't been mentioned yet.
So I see Tom digging through the sand and for some reason all I can think of is Colin's unfortunate encounter with the "clean BBC dirt."
The way the general's right hand man keeps chucking every time he mention's Four's coat makes me wonder what weird obsession he has with it.
I...WHAT...THAT...SOME DUDE ON THE FLOOR JUST MAGICALLY REGAINED CONSCIOUSNESS AND KILLED BARBARA. WHAT. YOU BASTARD. I DO NOT APPROVE.
"She saved my life!"
"Yes, but we've got other things to do. More lives to save."
Poor K-9 gets battered and hauled a lot in this story, doesn't he? And considering Full Circle is next, it's not going to get much better...
"Choose a planet. Any planet!"
"Oh, make your own mind up for a change."
"...I'd rather have the coat."
Doctor impersonating the villain while the villain's impersonating the Doctor? Isn't this the whole plot of Enemy of the World?
He finally got the coat! Awww, look how happy he is.
And he looks even happier at the prospect of getting TWO coats! I am seriously grinning like a loon right now. This is just too funny.
Ne'er the Twins Shall Meet. I wonder if we'll get to see them both onscreen together.
"Shouldn't you be doing something?"
*BAMP*
Wow. Watching Tom trip repeatedly earlier is one thing, seeing him punched in the gut is another.
Which, of course, begs to reason that seeing him punched in the gut repeatedly is another another thing.
HERE WE GO! TOM TIMES TWO!
And the cool thing is, he plays the characters so differently that it's easy to tell just by their speech which one's which. Nice work, Tom.
"Cretins. Morons. Half-wits." And here's that uncomfortable moment when I remember that Tom probably said that to real people off-camera.
(I'm sorry, guys...but in about 5 minutes I'll be done with season 18 and my remarks about Tom's behind-the-scenes behavior should stop.)
So basically this Dodecahedron is like a Death Star trigger? They're saying that these Screens can destroy a whole planet.
K-9 on sand...I shudder to think what hell THAT put the production team through.
Romana, you walk into a room with two Fours: one glares at you, one grins at you. It shouldn't be that big a mystery who the real one is.
Wait, so you're saying that that slimy green crawling thing was Meglos's true form? ...ew.
And then there was...well...I'm *assuming* there was a s'plosion.
Poor Earth guy. Abducted by aliens and he's worried about being yelled at by his wife. Priorities priorities...
Now that's interesting. The ending theme's in a different key for some reason.
And I managed to get through the whole serial without playing the "are Tom and Lalla having a bad day" game!
Of course I'm sure I can attribute most of that to the fact that Four and Romana were separated for most of the story.
Oh, hello...what's this?...
5,555TH TWEET!
Next: The E-Space Trilogy Part 1: Full Circle