The Leisure Hive
Previous: Season 17: Shada
The Leisure Hive
Well, here we go: my last Instant-Tom serial...
(This would be a perfect opportunity for me to make an "Instant Baker" joke, but possible confusion with a certain Colin might spoil it.)
Ah yes! This was the first serial in the series revamp with the new logo, opening sequence, and NEW THEME SONG. I LOVE THIS VARIATION.
Ah, it's nice to be seeing that opening in context instead of in the Every Doctor Who Opening videos I've watched a million times.
What's this? An opening atmospheric pan across a windy beach with wind instruments playing in the background? New trend?
Yikes. Four is quite a snorer. And Romana's still wearing that schoolgirl outfit? And...yes, that must be the infamous burgundy arrangement.
Wait wait WOAH INSTANT DRAMA JUST ADD DROWNING ROBOT DOG OH MY GOD DON'T LET K-9 GET OFFED SO EARLY.
HE JUST EXPLODED AND OH MY GOD DOCTOR WAKE THE FUCK UP
"Well I can't spend the rest of my life running away from the Black Guardian!" ...holy crap, that's been going on THIS long?!?
A beautiful leisure planet with man-made recreation centers because the surface is too dangerous? Is this a precursor to Midnight I sense?
Seriously guys what is up with your hair. I feel like this is a pointless question but...yeah.
Is it me failing at intended-English-major, but is it just a general rule of grammar that the words "duty" and "perform" are always coupled?
And...nobody notices the blue police box materializing out of nowhere and the two strangers stepping out? Anyone?
"Reptiles are resistant to radioactivity." Is that a scientific fact, or just an excuse for alliteration?
Why hello, Cryptic Shots of Parts of a Hostile Creature.
Jeez, this story REALLY loves taking its dear sweet time with extended shots, doesn't it?
Yikes. That was a surprising amount of activity in a short amount of time, considering how slow the pacing's been so far
And the guy from earlier literally lies in pieces, apparently dead from technobabble.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA ANTI-GRAV DOCTOR!
Wow, they really seem to love triangles in this place.
Wait WHAT. DOCTOR DON'T GET IN THE MACHINE I HAVE A FUNNY FEELING SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN.
SEE, I WAS RIGHT.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have officially entered the John Nathan-Turner era of Doctor Who.
OH GOD. GUYS, PLEASE NEVER DO A CLOSE-UP ON TOM BAKER'S HORROR-STRICKEN FACE EVER AGAIN.
wait wait wait how is he out of the machine there are two of him OH MY GOD THE TECHNOBABBLE IS PLOT-RELEVANT, ISN'T IT.
Oh wait a sec, this is the season that has the overarching theme of entropy and contains the E-Space trilogy, isn't it?
Using a recreation center on a postapocalyptic planet to promote understanding between species and prevent war. That's quite ingenious.
Introduction of Shifty-Eyed Glasses Man. Suspicious much?
"It doesn't really work, you know." And Romana gives the hah-I-figured eyebrow-raise. Nice.
Shifty-Eye Glasses Man is about to get reptile'd, I bet.
Eyeless plastic dummy hanging in a closet. Creepy-meters are starting to go off the charts.
CALLED IT. REPTILE'D.
But...wait, HOW did Four's scarf get tied around Shifty-Eyed Glasses Man's neck completely out of nowhere?
"His scarf killed Stimpson!"
"Arrest the scarf, then!"
And...is it just me, or is Tom Baker getting gray hairs?
Wow, that was smart, guys. Just leave the room and don't turn off the machine that can apparently REVERSE TIME.
"I've got an idea: there's a sort of blue box down the hall, you could imprison us both in that!"
And they're making Four go BACK IN THERE? This can NOT end well.
So that's Ten and Four...I wonder which other Doctors went through forced-aging at some point?
Dear god, Tom, how did you make a REFLECTION IN WARPED METAL HEARTBREAKING? "Is that me?....What happened?"
I just realized that a number of people on this planet are wearing pink triangles around their necks. Seriously, guys? Seriously?
"I'm sick of being old." Taken out of context, that could either be a very profound or very odd statement coming from the Doctor.
Wow. I know he said he felt like he was "in there for centuries," but...500 YEARS? Oh my god, poor Doctor...
I think I want to hug something now.
So they're talking about the possibility of "recreation" meaning "re-creation"...
...and for some reason all I can think about is "HOW did they keep Tom's giant poofy hair down under those prosthetics?"
This is the first time I've ever seen the Doctor use the TARDIS as a chalkboard.
ROMANA GET OUT OF THE MACHINE
Oh holy crap she was rescued by the mysterious reptile from earlier. Costuming's almost as bad as the GREEN BUBBLEWRAP Wyrrn larvae, though.
Umm...shouldn't the TARDIS be translating his speech?
AHA. THERE IS A SPY IN OUR MIDST.
My last episode of Instant-Tom... ;___;
WOAH. EVERYBODY'S A SPY. That explains the human-suits from earlier...
Well NOW they can talk. What's the first important thing they say? "I am the government." That's a new one.
I've heard of handcuffs and straight-jackets but...prison-cotton?
"Don't cross your bridges before they're hatched!"
Here we go, the Bad Guy Talking in Third Person...
Hey, guys, what did I say about not doing close-ups on Tom Baker's face?
Holy crap. They blew up the diplomatic shuttle AND Romana's...taking a level in badass?
Or maybe not. But that is a LOT of soldiers he's making with that machine. Four, a miraculous re-appearance would be convenient right now...
That...that was almost TOO miraculous. I think I get what just happened but...what? WAIT. PLEASE TELL ME THIS MEANS AN ARMY OF DOCTORS.
I WAS RIGHT. I SENSE IMPENDING EPIC. Also, WHAT is this show's obsession with duplicating Tom Baker? Or is that even a question?
Well, we've found what appears to be the real Doctor. "First one out of the machine."
Bad guy reduced to a baby. Wow. "This time I must TRY to bring him up properly!"
And so ends my Instant-Tom... Feeling a little sad now.
Also, I think the guy who played Hardin was the same guy who read the Ring For Jeeves audiobook I have.
I have to admit, that was quite a technobabble-driven story. I guess this is what TV Tropes meant by the JNT era having fairly hard science.
Next: Meglos