YAY CAPITALISM!

[geneginjingle]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MACHINES AND IN-BETWEENS!

ARE YOU SUFFERING?
FROM WEIGHT GAIN?
FROM HAIR LOSS?
ARE YOU UNSATISFIED WITH
YOUR LOOKS, YOUR LIFE, YOUR WIFE?

THEN STEP UP, STEP UP!

WITH DOC HOLLCROFT'S (THAT'S ME!) SPRING LINE OF ELIXIRS AND TONICS YOU WILL BE HAPPY, HEALTHY AND HUMPING IN NO TIME!

GIVE IT A TRY TODAY AND COME BACK FOR MORE TOMORROW!

*

Comments

[hooched_up]

Do you have anythin' that'll work for me? :c

[geneginjingle]

WHY YES, YES LET ME JUST ANALYSE THE SITUATION!
*GROPES*
*FONDLES*
*SQUEEZES*

INDEED, I BELIEVE DOC HOLLCROFT'S SUPERSIZE-ME WONDER DRINK WILL GET YOU FROM D TO E TO F TO DOUBLE OHEHMG!

[hooched_up]

[squeaks!]
[gasps!]
[moans!]

Supersize what-- OH NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, DOC! I don't want 'em bigger!

[geneginjingle]

THEN WHAT?

SMALLER? LONGER?
HAIRIER? SMOOTHER?
FIRMER? SOFTER?
POINTY? ANGRY? TALKATIVE? FLOWERY? MAUVE?

[urmothergoose]

Guten Tag...Doctor.

It appears someone made bathroom into their office again und I have to search for new one, but since I am already here I am wondering if you have anything that will help people believe everything someone says.

[geneginjingle]

YES!!!

...

Wait, no. No, on second thought I do not.

[urmothergoose]

Excellent! I will take three!

[geneginjingle]

But... Madame!

Why would a gorgeous woman such as yourself even need anything like that when all it takes to achieve the same effect is one look into your beautiful eyes?

*takes Tenenbaum's hand and kisses it*

[dady_issus]

I have a button, some candy and a dead splicers head. what will that get me?

[geneginjingle]

...

...

...

...

OF COURSE!

TAKE THIS PATENTED, MULTI-PURPOSE DEAD RAT

PUT IT UNDER YOUR BED TO CHASE NIGHTMARES AWAY, THROW IT AT YOUR LOVED ONES TO STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, THROW IT AT YOUR ENEMIES TO GIVE THEM BOILS OR PUT IT IN YOUR TEA FOR ABOUT THREE MINUTES TO ADD A LITTLE *~SPECIAL FLAVOUR~*

*SNATCHES BUTTON, CANDY AND DEAD SPLICER HEAD*

[dady_issus]

umm, couldnt i just have used the splicer head for that?

[geneginjingle]

What? NO!

Splicer heads don't have anywhere near the healing, cursing and overall miraculous properties of DOC HOLLCROFT'S MULTI-PURPOSE DEAD RAT!

Trust me, this dead rat will change your life in ways YOU NEVER EVEN DREAMED OF!

[fearmyblowtorch]

Doc, ya got anything that could pleasure newts or housewives grow out Andrei's chest hairs make my blowtorch useful for "other" purposes help me finetune that singing voice Mark told me I have?

[geneginjingle]

SINGING VOICE?
SINGING VOICE...
SINGINGVOICELETMESEE.........

A-HA!

DOC HOLLCROFT'S LALALALA-PRESTO PILLS
WITH SUGAR AND SPICE AND PURÉED LYREBIRDS

FOR THE PACE, THE PITCH AND THE PERFECTION OF A TRUE ~*~*MUSICAL GENIUS*~*~

[fearmyblowtorch]

How much will ya take for all that? :D

[geneginjingle]

It's 25 magical pills in one tiny bottle for a mere 50 bucks.

[1st_protagonist]

Doc, bitchy artists and little girls in robot suits keep telling me I'm not a real man. Can you help me? D:

[dady_issus]

I'm not that little.

[geneginjingle]

YES. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES, LET ME JUST...

*RIPS OFF JACK'S SHIRT* IT'S NOT THE ABS.

*GROPES JACK* IT'S NOT... THE MANHOOD EITHER, SO IT MUST BE.....

*STROKES JACK'S FACE*

THE BEARD!

[1st_protagonist]

*giggles*

...*sneezes* IT TICKLES! :D