Comments | circusofwhores: YAY CAPITALISM!

geneginjingle in circusofwhores

YAY CAPITALISM!

Apr 07, 2010 13:33

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MACHINES AND IN-BETWEENS!

ARE YOU SUFFERING?
FROM WEIGHT GAIN?
FROM HAIR LOSS?
ARE YOU UNSATISFIED WITH
YOUR LOOKS, YOUR LIFE, YOUR WIFE?

THEN STEP UP, STEP UP!

WITH DOC HOLLCROFT'S (THAT'S ME!) SPRING LINE OF ELIXIRS AND TONICS YOU WILL BE HAPPY, HEALTHY AND HUMPING IN NO TIME!

GIVE IT A TRY TODAY AND COME BACK FOR MORE TOMORROW!

* ( Read more... )

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Comments 66

polarsoybeans April 8 2010, 00:32:26 UTC

I think I'm too far gone, doc. Babies roll over and die after looking at the burned, scarred-up, pulsing mass that is my FACE.

My eyes are DIMPLES. I keep forgetting where my FINGERNAILS are. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to have this much skin in my armpits. And my lips are....well...there's a reason why I wear this mask and it's not just because germs are EVERYWHERE.

At least I have a full head of hair.

geneginjingle April 8 2010, 08:54:00 UTC

DO NOT DESPAIR!

YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL INSIDE!

....

BUT OF COURSE NOBODY GIVES A CRAP ABOUT THAT, SO

TRY DOC HOLLCROFT'S DE~LLLL~ICIOUS LOTION, BEACH BODY FLAVOURED

AND YOU WILL GO FROM CRACKING MIRRORS TO

( ... )

polarsoybeans April 8 2010, 20:11:29 UTC

YOUR USE OF GIANT PINK TEXT AND SEXY DIAGRAMS IS LURING ME IN.....

A-are there any side effects? >:I I hope I'm not allergic to the beach...

geneginjingle April 8 2010, 21:18:34 UTC

SIDE EFFECTS?
SIDE EFFECTS?!

OF COURSE!

IF YOU CONSIDER SEXY A SIDE EFFECT THAT IS!

Sexy and... nauseaheadacheshypertensiongangrenetemporaryblindnesspermanentblindnessspidermadness

Thread 7

ladiesman1959 April 8 2010, 01:38:05 UTC

[looks around nervously]
Hey, doc, you got anything for... hair loss? I seem to be *zap* developing a bit of a bald spot. *zap*

geneginjingle April 8 2010, 09:04:19 UTC

NATURALLY!

DOC HOLLCROFT'S GROW-IT-OUT GROWTH AND VOLUME CONDITIONER
IN FIVE FRUITYLICIOUS FLAVOURS SUCH AS MANGO, MINCED MEAT AND MORNING WOOD!

ladiesman1959 April 8 2010, 15:38:59 UTC

>_> What are the other *zap* two flavours?

geneginjingle April 8 2010, 15:46:16 UTC

Marble and Mexican Lime.

Thread 13

bbjane April 8 2010, 19:11:52 UTC

Do you have anything for like, like, um, arousal enhancement? Or like, um, do you have anything to make a fella... larger? I want to get it for someone..

geneginjingle April 8 2010, 19:22:23 UTC

AAAHH, ONE OF MY BEST-SELLERS!

DOC HOLLCROFT'S UNF-UNF-UNF PERFORMANCE-ENHANCING FRUIT JUICE

ONE CAN, GOOD FOR ONE PERFORMANCE, AVAILABLE FOR ONE LITTLE TEN DOLLAR BILL!

bbjane April 8 2010, 20:08:13 UTC

AH YES! But... I only have five dollars and some dead cats.. will that do?

geneginjingle April 8 2010, 21:19:58 UTC

...

How many dead cats?

Thread 6

dady_issus April 9 2010, 00:19:33 UTC

QUICK, I NEED A LOVE POSTION.

geneginjingle April 9 2010, 00:24:05 UTC

( ... )

dady_issus April 9 2010, 00:29:38 UTC

so, if I give this to ellenor she'll love me?

geneginjingle April 9 2010, 00:39:55 UTC

YES!

PROBABLY.MAYBE.whoknows.

floodingisfun April 9 2010, 11:18:55 UTC

Uh, ya got anythin' to undo a surgery gone horribly wrong?

[self-consciously adjusts burka]

geneginjingle April 9 2010, 15:18:57 UTC

Do I? DO I?
Do I? Hold on let me check... *rummages* A-HA! ...oh
OF COURSE I DO!

REBOOT!

IT MORPHS YOUR BODY BACK INTO ITS PREVIOUS SHAPE UP TO ONE YEAR AFTER SURGERY
NO PAIN! NO SIDE EFFECTS! RESULTS WITHIN 24 HOURS!
FOR AS LITTLE AS SIX DOLLARS!

floodingisfun April 9 2010, 22:40:19 UTC

No kiddin'? Alla that? :D

/forks over the cash, because there's no way this stuff can make him any worse than Steinman did, right?

geneginjingle April 9 2010, 23:23:13 UTC

*snatches cash*

NO KIDDING! ALL OF THAT, DESIRED EFFECT GUARANTEED!

( ... )