LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MACHINES AND IN-BETWEENS!
ARE YOU SUFFERING?
FROM WEIGHT GAIN?
FROM HAIR LOSS?
ARE YOU UNSATISFIED WITH
YOUR LOOKS, YOUR LIFE, YOUR WIFE?
THEN STEP UP, STEP UP!
WITH DOC HOLLCROFT'S (THAT'S ME!) SPRING LINE OF ELIXIRS AND TONICS YOU WILL BE HAPPY, HEALTHY AND HUMPING IN NO TIME!
GIVE IT A TRY TODAY AND COME BACK FOR MORE TOMORROW!
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Comments 66
My eyes are DIMPLES. I keep forgetting where my FINGERNAILS are. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to have this much skin in my armpits. And my lips are....well...there's a reason why I wear this mask and it's not just because germs are EVERYWHERE.
At least I have a full head of hair.
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YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL INSIDE!
....
BUT OF COURSE NOBODY GIVES A CRAP ABOUT THAT, SO
TRY DOC HOLLCROFT'S DE~LLLL~ICIOUS LOTION, BEACH BODY FLAVOURED
AND YOU WILL GO FROM CRACKING MIRRORS TO
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A-are there any side effects? >:I I hope I'm not allergic to the beach...
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SIDE EFFECTS?!
OF COURSE!
IF YOU CONSIDER SEXY A SIDE EFFECT THAT IS!
Sexy and... nauseaheadacheshypertensiongangrenetemporaryblindnesspermanentblindnessspidermadness
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Hey, doc, you got anything for... hair loss? I seem to be *zap* developing a bit of a bald spot. *zap*
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DOC HOLLCROFT'S GROW-IT-OUT GROWTH AND VOLUME CONDITIONER
IN FIVE FRUITYLICIOUS FLAVOURS SUCH AS MANGO, MINCED MEAT AND MORNING WOOD!
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DOC HOLLCROFT'S UNF-UNF-UNF PERFORMANCE-ENHANCING FRUIT JUICE
ONE CAN, GOOD FOR ONE PERFORMANCE, AVAILABLE FOR ONE LITTLE TEN DOLLAR BILL!
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How many dead cats?
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PROBABLY.MAYBE.whoknows.
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[self-consciously adjusts burka]
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Do I? Hold on let me check... *rummages* A-HA! ...oh
OF COURSE I DO!
REBOOT!
IT MORPHS YOUR BODY BACK INTO ITS PREVIOUS SHAPE UP TO ONE YEAR AFTER SURGERY
NO PAIN! NO SIDE EFFECTS! RESULTS WITHIN 24 HOURS!
FOR AS LITTLE AS SIX DOLLARS!
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/forks over the cash, because there's no way this stuff can make him any worse than Steinman did, right?
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NO KIDDING! ALL OF THAT, DESIRED EFFECT GUARANTEED!
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