(Untitled)

[insecurity_man]

*Walks into a room and looks around*

HELLO?!?

Comments

[forcedmirror]

/looks up from the vending machine he was hacking and waves.

[insecurity_man]

Are you... Subject Delta? I haven't seen you around since that freak accident involving a balloon and 10 gallons of electric gel. you recorded an emo album and committed suicide. you stood in the Rapture complaint box line. two days before the New Year's party!

Look, reunions are nice and all, but don't hack the vending machines! Do you have any clue how long it takes to get those fixed?

[forcedmirror]

/make up your mind bro but I'm hungry and I don't have a lot of money :( So I have to hack it.

/gazes imploringly at Sullivan from behind his faceplate. Not that you could tell.

[insecurity_man]

Maybe you would have some money if you got a job! Haven't you watched any of those badly written and acted wonderful and educational films Rapture has? From the amount of unsettling sexual activity I've viewed on the camera feeds folks have been, ahem, keeping their options open. If you're that desperate for money I'm certain you'll be able to find someone that desperate for a relationship.

[nogodsnokings]

Well well well.

/stares

[insecurity_man]

Mr. Ryan I haven't seen you for quite a while. There must be something important you need to tell me.

OH PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T FIRE ME! I'LL GET RAPTURE UNDAH CONTROL AND ALL FIXED UP JUST LIKE YOU WANT. I'LL START RIGHT NOW TOO! JUST LET ME KEEP MY JOB! I NEED SOMETHING TA LIVE FOR. YOU SAID I WAS A GOOD WORKER RIGHT? RIGHT?

[nogodsnokings]

/stares even more

Actually I was just saying hello, Mr. Sullivan, but I appreciate your desire to do your job well.

[insecurity_man]

*wipes sweat off of forehead*

THANK YOU! I mean it's nice ta know you're doing well. WHAT IF HE'S LYIN'? HOW CAN I KNOW THE TRUTH? I BET HE'S GOING TA TRIM THE BOTTOM LINE OF WORKERS IN HIS OFFICE RIGHT NOW!

[madeitfirst]

You are a disgrace to the revered and distinguished field of surveillance!

[insecurity_man]

I've been trying ta do my job while the entire city has become disordered, most of my fellow employees have either spliced out of their minds, or been killed, and Sofia Lamb's fan club has tried ta take control of Rapture for themselves. If that sounds like a wahk in the park you're welcome ta assist me.

What is your job right now anyway? In most of the security footage I've seen you're writing numbers on surfaces, or scrounging around for ADAM.

[madeitfirst]

I am a programmer.

[He says it like it is the most obvious thing in the world, and thinks Sullivan a fool for not guessing it.]

I search for answers, because that's my job.

[insecurity_man]

A programmer huh? I've been wanting the security bots ta have more accurate aiming. Right now they cause slightly less damage than the vandalising splicers they kill. If you can program 'em ta have better aiming I'll pay you.

[jackfuckingryan]

GET OUT, I'M TRYING TO MASTURBATE.

[insecurity_man]

*Turns his head away from Jack.*

Do you have ta do that in front of me? I've witnessed you play slap the salami on the monitors enough for one hundred lifetimes. Quit killing the Little Sisters too. Rapture needs them and the time it takes the Big Sisters ta bring more down here isn't exactly as fast as First Class Mail. I won't even go inta the amount of times you've caused damage ta personal property...

[jackfuckingryan]

Hey, you walked in on me.

/casual takes a bite out of a slug

[insecurity_man]

I must have missed the giant blinking sign next ta you that says:
"I'M A SEXUAL DEGENERATE WHO CAN'T COME TA TERMS WITH HIS EMOTIONS MASTURBATING IN THE CORNER."

*Winces when he sees him bite the slug.*
I hope you picked that up after it fell out of a leaking pipe, if you didn't...

[najayjay]

/glares

Stop shouting!

/KICKS HIS SHINS

[insecurity_man]

*Buckles over and falls onto the floor, he wasn't expecting that.*

Augh! *Looks up at her.* Are you a former little sister? It would explain your lack of social graces.

[najayjay]

/narrows her eyes at him

I never was a Little Sister!

/kicks him some more

[insecurity_man]

*Tries to move away from the flurry of kicks.*

Ouch! Stop it I'm tryin' ta have a discussion! You must be an orphan then because I've watched you barely spend time with any adults-except for Fitzpatrick and a splicer with an eye patch you keep hurting.