94. (drug) lord of the kitchen.

[christ_onabike]

[Paddy's sat in his kitchen, it's the afternoon.]

Right, folks of the Barge. We need a chat. About this: [He holds up an orange.] Not just oranges. Food. In general.

Because here's the thing, guys. Let me introduce you to our staff. I don't know if you've noticed, but responsible for your hot, delicious, tasty dinners, for over... oh, is it 150

Comments

[shortsghtedlove]

I had offered to help you find new staff... But you were insistent on doing it alone. And this is your plan? You don't actually believe anyone will come? They will all wait for someone else to do it.

[christ_onabike]

You offered, and I weren't exactly sure your methods were y'know, kosher.

So leave me the fuck alone, and if you really want to help me? Get your ass down here and get an apron on.

[shortsghtedlove]

Be quiet. You rejected my help, I will not offer again. One chance is quite enough and I have found other ways to get what I want.

[christ_onabike]

Oooh, well, lah-dee-dah.

Nobody tells me to be quiet, mate. Just so you know.

[stopthat_destro]

Four...

I can't come to my shifts unless my warden releases me. [FOR DRUUUUGZ. Also this is just a ploy to get Paddy to make Nygma let him out of the detox room.]

[christ_onabike]

...Don't tell me you're in zero.

[stopthat_destro]

Well, the effect is certainly the same, but no, I'm not in zero.

private

[christ_onabike]

Should I ask what's going on?

[counturfingers]

You're going to starve us if we don't work?

[christ_onabike]

Did I say that?

No. Nobody gets starved.

I'm just saying that the more people work for me, the nicer food you get. The less work for me, the shittier food you get.

[counturfingers]

I think instant food looks like starving.

[christ_onabike]

You won't starve if you eat it.

Besides. I'm hoping it won't come to that.

[christ_onabike]

Good man. You are my new favourite inmate. Show up some point this afternoon, I'll show you around.

Oh, and run it by your warden.

[rass_bestie]

Already done.

[christ_onabike]

Grand! I like you too.

[terminates]

Sign me up.

[christ_onabike]

Good man.

Dinner okay with you? The others could stand for a few more folks too.

[terminates]

Works for me.

I'd pick up another, but I'm already on maintenance.

[christ_onabike]

S'alright. I don't like folks working more than one shift when some folks do fuck all around here.

Turn up between four and five and I'll show you around.