I put this stupid ticker at the bottom of my entires in several months ago to remind me of how close to graduation I am, to motivate me and help me remember that I can get there and I will. It all seemed so rose-colored then. Now that the blinders are coming off, it's anything but rose-colored. The reality is that I have no idea what I should do ( Read more... )

I'm not in much of a mood for talking right now, so this entry will be bullets.

- I sprained my ankle on Monday. It was getting a lot better until I ran around town all day yesterday helping my sister get ready for prom (and watching her get pampered!). Now, the swelling has gone down from last night, but it's really hurting.

- I'm staying at my ( Read more... )

 
Someone called me needy today. A very mean someone who I shouldn't even talk to anymore. I am needy, though. I always have been. But until lately, I have always been myself, too. Independent and fearless. I don't like the person I'm becoming, and I don't know how to change it. This, this... --I can say it--this depression is turning me into ( Read more... )

 
I feel as if a real update on my life is long overdue. Expect this entry to be long, rambling at some points, and probably quite boring. :-P

I know I change my mind about school everyday, but I think I have finally figured out the best thing for me. I have some qualms about it, but after talking it over with everyone and lots of research and ( Read more... )

I am sick of dating. Not that I do that much of it. This is not to say I do not get hit on or meet guys or whatever. Call me shallow if you want, but I judge people's personality as, "hey, that's someone I'd like to get to know" or not, fairly quickly after meeting them. I guess you could say I'm rather picky. But why should I settle for someone I ( Read more... )

I cannot sleep. Again. The muscles in my back, neck, shoulders, arms are so tense and tight that they burn with pain. I have been applying and reapplying icy hot to them, but it only provides minimal relief. I need to see a chiropractor, and soon. I am really not stressed about much of anything right now, so I don't know why my muscles are so tense ( Read more... )

ohemgee. two entries in one day!-ish.

I seem to be having a hard time in the department of male friendships lately. And by lately, I mean in the last year or so, I would say. Maybe it's because I don't relate to them the same way I do my female friends, or maybe it's simply because of the possibility--and often times, reality--of romantic feelings ( Read more... )

i am moody tonight. i hate when this happens, because i never know when it's going to be or why it happens. kind of sneaks up on me, you know?

i think maybe, it's because i'm lonely. i miss my friends. i have very few left in clemson, and the best ones have always been somewhere else. i miss feeling cared about and loved. it hasn't happened in a ( Read more... )

tonight, i would like to write life (as DM says).

the problem is, i don't know where to start. *thinks* oh, well, this would be good:

i am alive.

yep, alive as can be. and i actually feel alive too. it's a change that has come (with many others) in the past week.

for the past couple months, i have been terribly unhappy. depressed. weak. tired. not ( Read more... )