Mental disconnect

[celandineb]

I've been using the pseudonym "Celandine Brandybuck" for nearly 4 years now in various online communities. Several RL friends who also have pseudonymous blogs quite naturally use "Cel" in addressing me either here or in their own blogs, just as I use their pseudonyms in such contexts. And of course those who have met me online know me by that

Comments

[lavendergem]

I said recently that writing kept me sane. Am I sure?

Maybe writing keeps Cel sane? ;)

I know what you mean tho. Even though I know your RL (first) name, you are and (probably) always will be Cel to me. Just as i am DT. I even refer to myself as such. And as a Took, you are my Brandybuck cousin, right?

Wow. Maybe I need to check my marble bag too.

Ever affectionately,

DiamondTook

[celandineb]

Maybe writing keeps Cel sane?

Now that is entirely possible. *grins*

And as a Took, you are my Brandybuck cousin, right?

I seem to remember working it out once that you were my fourth cousin through marriage...

[still_dorothy]

If one were to become extremely philosophical, they could say that Cel is a person in her own right. I know you as Cel. I've glimpsed echos of K*****, but Cel is the woman who entertains me with stories, cheers me when I'm sad, and helps me when my computer/technical skills are lacking.

Every human being is complex. Very creative people will find an outlet and 'organize' this aspect of themselves. When the day comes and we finally get to meet in person, I'll be hard-pressed to call you anything but Cel. Not that I don't realize you have another name, it is just that you are.. well... Cel.

I know for a fact that I'd be more free with things I write/post if I'd used a pen name instead of my real name. There is freedom in the fact that this other persona is separate from RL. IMO, only the complex creative person can pull this off.

Sheesh.. Am I full of it this morning, or what?! This is an incredible topic. I'll have to think on it some more.

[celandineb]

I've had nicknames before, both imposed and self-inflicted. In HS I named different aspects of my personality, even. And in college I was known almost exclusively by a nickname - there are doubtless people out there who still think of me as Moonbeam. *grins* If I ever go to a reunion perhaps I will find out.

What worries me - well, worry is too strong. What intrigues me is that some days I "feel" more like Cel than like RL name. It's an identity that is comfortable for me, I inhabit it (mostly) happily, my RL identity often not so happily. But if I were Cel all the time, I don't think that would be the case any more.

[Oh, and looks like I will be down in your neck of the woods over Thanksgiving, but with SO, his mother, and her SO, so I don't think I'll have a chance to hook up... although, thinking about it, *possibly* I could sneak away on the Friday afternoon... if you're not too busy with family obligations too.]

[todayiamadaisy]

I've been mentally pronouncing your name as "Cel And In-eb", so I'm glad you wrote this and put me on the right track!

I often wonder how my LJ would be different if I'd had a different user name. I've had people say they clicked on my username simply because they liked it, so with a different name I'd probably have a different flist as well.

[celandineb]

*chortles* Oh, gosh, I can see how that pronunciation would be possible. I was "Celandine Brandybuck" to begin with, elsewhere, and when I came to LJ that seemed awfully long, but just plain "celandine" was already taken so I tossed in the first initial. Should have used a "_" to separate the two I suppose.

Names are really interesting. There have been some studies that suggest that people with popular names are (unconsciously) favored by others in various ways. I'm a teacher so I see a lot of different names among my students; my personal pet peeve is when names are misspelled. You know, parents wanting to give a child a certain name, but wanting it to be "unique" somehow, so they take "Candy" and turn it into "Kandii" or whatever. Drives me up a tree. ;-)

with a different name I'd probably have a different flist as well

Could be!

[neogrammarian]

I've had a few nicknames for several years (Neogrammarian dates to a friend's blog in 98 or 99), but there're a few more. To me, an name online is just another nickname for me. Is it a location specific nickname? More or less, sure- but so are a few others. There's a nickname that my brother & few friends leftover from highschool call me. There's a name that I'm called by some of the ppl in the clubs (and bizarrely, my realtor, who came up w/it independantly). It's all me. They're like different hats. In a way, I think it's neat- not everyone has such a varied life that they have different Names in different areas, you know? You're lucky, I think.

[celandineb]

*nods* I haven't had all that many "major" nicknames, really. One in college - "Moonbeam" - by which I was universally known then (to other students, not to faculty of course). And now "Cel." Both of which have been important enough identities that I have had them tattooed on my body. But there is something kind of freeing about having more than one name and identity.

Count me in!

[mistressofrohan]

There was a time when I had to separate the AM from the MM... and it was a difficult and somewhat sad thing to do. In my case, MM was all about having fun and doing things in cyberspace that AM would never think to do in RL. Nowadays, the MM and the AM are a lot more in sync with each other (thank God!).

I think our pseudonyms/nicks/handles etc DO become a part of who we are, and entities unto themselves after a fashion. I like to think of it as a med-free experimentation with Multiple Personality Disorder. That one always did fascinate me back in the days when I studied Psychology. LOL!

[celandineb]

Nowadays, the MM and the AM are a lot more in sync with each other (thank God!).

This is why I have, both on my bio page here at LJ and at Wellinghall, a stanza of a Robert Frost poem including this: "But yield who will to their separation, / My object in living is to unite / My avocation and my vocation / As my two eyes make one in sight." To remind myself that it's all me, really.

I like to think of it as a med-free experimentation with Multiple Personality Disorder.

LOL indeed!