Dealbreakers

[catness]

Once upon a time, on a blog I sometimes read, a question was asked about readers' dealbreakers in interpersonal interactions. I wrote a version of this

Comments

Just for fun

[drwex]

I started listing areas where I would think you have some experience/expertise: music, production, management, ?some varieties of tech/networking?, first aid/emt/ambulance work, motorcycles/biking/racing/safety, outdoors(?) of the camping/hiking variety. I know I don't have a lot of contact with you or your life so I've probably missed some. I'm sorry that people fail to respect your skills and experience. That sucks.

I'm so very with you on the "no arguments before bedtime" thing. Mine is generally more limited to "no arguments after midnight" because I have less insomnia, but I think I understand the principle.

I'm surprised you didn't explicitly list honesty. Perhaps that's assumed? For me it's a major dealbreaker - what do you think?

Re: Just for fun

[catness]

As a dealbreaker, honesty is a complex and curious thing. Everybody is dishonest about something. Or some things. Because they're people, and that means they're rationalizing - not rational - beings. I can't demand or expect honesty from people that are not in my inner circles, so I don't try, and I don't worry about 100% No Misdirections Or Fabrications Ever honesty that much, even though I prefer honesty to the alternative

Re: Just for fun

[drwex]

Thank you for the long and thoughtful response. I've read through it several times now.

I agree with what you say in every respect. Part of why I haven't replied sooner has been trying to come up with something more than emphatic nodding in agreement. But I also didn't want you to think I was ignoring this.

I would say that for myself I place a heavy emphasis on honesty and truth-telling because I have major trust issues. But that is, as you say, part of my own shit that I need to own.

[also_huey]

I got stuck on this bit right here