FIC: WHEN OUR FRAMES COLLIDE 14a/16
Title: When Our Frames Collide
Chapter: 14a/16 - Let's Pretend We Don't Exist
Author: carolinablu85. or you can call me Ella! (or you can call me Al, if you like the song...)
Characters: Luke/Noah, Ali, Casey, Maddie, Damian, Holden, Jack, Lucy, Emma, Jade, Hunter, Lily, the Millers (OC), Marcus (OC), Tom, Margo, Lucinda
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: sequel to my fic "Sins of the Father," refers to lots of things that happened in that story, takes place a few months later!
Summary: Noah recuperates, Luke and Holden talk, the Millers search, Damian is evil
Disclaimer: I disclaim. I own a pair of sneakers, a cellphone, and some other stuff. The show? Nope, not that.
Author's Note: Today's chapter is brought to you by the song "Wraith Pinned to the Mist..." by Of Montreal. And yes, while it has been turned into a rather ubiquitous commercial jingle, the orginal is still pretty great!
Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10a / Chapter 10b / Chapter 11a / Chapter 11b / Chapter 12a / Chapter 12b / Chapter 13 /
“Is he really okay? Or is he doing that ‘I say I’m okay because I think that’s what you want to hear’ thing he does?”
Luke smiled. “I don’t know, to be honest. I think somewhere in between.” He heard Ali sigh on the other end of the phone. “But either way, I really do think he’s going to be alright. He just needs some time to figure it out in his head.”
“Of course, yeah.” There was a pause, some noise on her end of the line. “Crap, I have to go. Will you tell him hi for me? And anything else that sounds really reassuring?”
He laughed. “Of course I will. And thanks again, Ali. For covering for us with this thing.”
“Oh honey, of course! Okay, I really have to go. Give Noah a hug and kiss for me, and give one good glare at Casey and Jade if they get too cute, got it?”
“Yes ma’am,” he answered, slightly impressed with how well she was taking the breakup with Casey. “Talk to you later, Ali.”
After he hung up, he headed back into the kitchen. It wasn’t like he was going to cook or anything, but it offered the best view of the back porch. Which was where Noah was currently sitting, stretched out on a lawn chair, surrounded by pillows and blankets, listening to whatever words were coming out of Casey’s mouth.
Luke was slightly- in that Lily Snyder part of his brain- worried about Noah being outside in the cold for too long, but a larger and more logical part of his brain- which he admitted was his Holden Snyder side- knew that Noah needed it. It was their fourth day in this house, and Luke could see how jittery Noah got if stuck inside for too long.
Though he had to admit, being here was definitely helping. The six of them had developed a routine, steady and comforting. They were in their own universe here, one where reality and all its troubles couldn’t touch them. It was probably helping more than just Noah right now.
“Hey,” Maddie shuffled in, still in her pajamas. She stopped when she realized who she was talking to. “Oh God, you’re not about to make breakfast, are you?”
“No,” he gave her a glare as she reached for the coffee pot. “I’m trying to help Noah, not hurt him.”
She smirked. “You stole my next line,” she teased before adding some milk to her coffee mug. Then she gave a little laugh. “Of course, we could all get in here, I could throw on some Temptations, and we could reenact the breakfast scene from The Big Chill.” She laughed again at his confused expression and then followed his line of sight out the window to the back porch. “How is he today?”
Luke’s smile dropped a little. “He’s dealing, I think. Despite what he said when we got here... he’s shaken up. He’s trying to act like he’s fine, but-”
“I noticed it too,” Maddie nodded. “He’s really quiet. And it’s like he can’t stand to be in a room alone anymore.”
“Yeah,” Luke’s voice was just as soft. “Which is weird, it’s like the exact opposite of last year. Instead of withdrawing from everyone and locking himself away, it’s like he needs to be near people.”
“Can you blame him?” Maddie pointed out, leaning back against the counter next to him. “Luke, when I...” she stopped for a second before continuing. “When I got into his room? Even when he was asleep, he was, like, empty. I went to hold his hand and he didn’t know it was me, he pulled away so fast...” she trailed off, looking out the window again. “I really think he’s going to be okay, but I’m not surprised he’s like this now.”
Luke bit the inside of his cheek. He didn’t want to agree out loud, even though it was true. Noah had spent a month either alone or stuck with people he couldn’t trust. And he hadn’t talked for a lot of that time. So of course he was like this, afraid to be alone right now, not sure where he stood with everyone and everything.
Luke understood that. But it didn’t mean he liked it. And he didn’t like that Noah was trying to hide it, to be so strong for him and reassure him that he was fine. Well, okay, he liked that Noah had that impulse. He just wished he didn’t have to use it.
“He’s been having nightmares, I think,” Luke confided quietly. “Either that or all the time he spent in the hospital messed with his sleep schedule. I don’t know. But he wakes up all the time, in the middle of the night. Doesn’t make any noise, doesn’t bolt out of bed, none of that.”
“He doesn’t want to wake you up,” Maddie guessed.
Luke nodded. “But sometimes I do. He, like, jerks awake. Takes a minute or two to look around, remember where he is. Then he holds onto my arm or my hand or anything, and tries to go back to sleep. It’s happened a couple times each night.”
Maddie sat her empty coffee mug in the sink. “Well,” she mused quietly. “I mean, if what you were told is true, they were drugging him a lot in the beginning. And combined with everything else that’s happened, and being stuck in that same hospital room for so long...”
“Yeah,” Luke cut off her train of thought, not wanting to go any deeper than that. “We just have to get him to accept that the worst is over. And get him used to talking again.”
She grinned. “If anyone can do that, it’s us!” she said perkily. She gave Luke a quick hug. “What about you, how are you holding up?”
Luke offered up a tired smile. “I’m ready for a vacation. A real one, not a...” he waved his hand around them at the house. “Not a super-secret hideout one.”
“Hey,” Maddie said firmly, pinching his cheek a little teasingly. “As long as you two are together? Things are going to be fine.”
Luke poked her in the side. “Thanks.”
They both leaned against the counter again, looking out the window. And just in time, because right then Casey finished telling some story, waving his hands in the air crazily, causing Noah to smile. No, not just smile. He actually laughed. Luke felt something in his stomach untwist at the sight, and he found himself relaxing even more as Casey drew Noah into a huge, fierce, Casey-Hughes-hug, and Noah returned it willingly.
Both he and Maddie busied themselves wiping the kitchen clean as Casey and Noah walked back into the house, Noah still limping slightly, one hand out a little to steady himself. He stopped in the doorway to the kitchen while Casey headed to the stairs. “I’m gonna grab a shower,” Casey called out as he kept walking. “By the way guys, you’re not fooling anyone, we know you were watching us!”
And Luke would’ve lied or come up with some excuse, but the fact that Noah blushed and smiled at him, reaching out in an unspoken request for a hug? Took all his words away.
************
Luke sometimes wondered what his life would’ve been like if he had grown up in a normal town. With a normal family and normal parents and a normal boyfriend. But as always- just as he filled his head with images of apple pie and baseball games or whatever- he would remember that even if things always got screwed up, he still had what made him happy. He could deal with all the-
The phone ringing startled Luke out of his daydreams. He checked on Noah again- still sleeping, breathing deep and steady- and then picked up his cell. “Hello?” he answered quietly, not wanting to risk waking Noah. Granted, he could just get up and walk into the next room, but he wanted to be the first thing Noah saw when he opened his eyes. Just in case.
“Luke?” Damian sounded a little puzzled. “Is everything alright? I’ve been trying to call for days...”
“Damian, hi, um,” Luke ran a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face. Crap, he had totally forgotten about Damian. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m... I’m with Casey and Jade and Hunter. We’re up at Lake Michigan. Just for a little while.”
“Is it because of Noah? Have you heard something, is he okay?” Damian sounded genuinely concerned, which always threw Luke for a loop. Because until recently, he had never considered putting ‘Damian’ and ‘genuine’ in the same hemisphere, let alone the same sentence. But he had come a long way since the last time he had been in Oakdale, Luke had to admit.
Damian had reappeared in Oakdale at the same time that Noah’s pneumonia had, so the man had gotten a crash-course in how much the Snyders cared about his boyfriend...
“Okay,” Luke plopped down on the bench next to Noah. “You get five more minutes out here and then I’m taking you back inside.”
“Luke,” Noah near-whined, coughing at the end of the word. “I just sat down.”
Luke glared sternly, pulling the blanket around Noah’s shoulders a little tighter, keeping his hands flat against Noah’s chest. Even through the blanket and long-sleeved shirt and short-sleeved shirt Noah was wearing (he was chilled and shaking even though it was June), Luke could feel the crackle and stutter of his breath. Stupid pneumonia. “And you’ll be standing back up in five minutes, so enjoy it while it lasts.”
Noah pouted. Actually pouted. Luke had to fight so hard not to smile at the look on his face. “You love getting to boss me around, don’t you?”
Luke let the smile show now. “I love lots of things I get to do with you.” He leaned up a little, kissing Noah’s cheek. Noah rolled his eyes, even though he couldn’t help but smile too. Luke kissed him again, this time on the forehead as Noah rested it down on Luke’s shoulder.
They sat there for just a few minutes, completely ignoring everything around them, until the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. The sun was in their eyes as they tried to figure out who the driver was, and Noah coughing again distracted Luke from getting up to find out.
He had just planted another light kiss on the top of Noah’s head, rubbing his back soothingly, when a voice called out quietly. “Luciano.”
Luke froze. No. No way. His grip on Noah’s shoulder tightened, and for a second he couldn’t get himself to move. To turn, look up, and confirm that this man was back in Oakdale. No way.
But then Noah looked up at him, confused and wary. “Luke?”
That broke him out of his trance. He definitely wasn’t about to let Damian anywhere near Noah, that was for damn sure. “Noah, go inside, okay? Go find my parents.” He stood up, making sure he was between his boyfriend and his... and Damian.
Noah shook his head as he stood up too, still clutching the blanket around him. He moved next to Luke, holding his hand. “What’s going on?”
Luke would have answered him, but he saw Damian’s gaze zero in on their clasped hands. “Please, baby, it’s okay. Just go inside.” He saw Damian’s eyebrows raise at the ‘baby,’ but luckily he didn’t say anything. Because Luke would have punched him if he did.
Noah’s fever-addled brain must have finally caught up with everything. “Wait, this is him?” his voice was lower, tight. Angry. “I’m not leaving you alone with him.”
Damian held up his hands. “I’m not here to cause any trouble, Luciano, I-”
“My name is Luke,” he snapped quickly. “And don’t think for a second that you’re coming into this house.” He squeezed Noah’s hand, and was about to try to get him to go inside again, when the door to the kitchen opened. And suddenly, thankfully, his parents were standing next to him.
"What the hell are you doing here?” Holden’s voice was like thunder, and his face was just as stormy. He stood protectively in front of all of them, arms crossed, glaring hard at Damian.
Damian took a step back closer to his car, hands still up peaceably. “I stopped by your house but no one was home. I thought I might find you all here.” He looked at the four of them, his gaze curious when it landed on Noah. Luke fought the urge to pull Noah behind him, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference and probably just make Noah mad.
“Well, you found us. Now you can leave,” Holden spoke quietly but steadily.
“Please,” Damian stayed where he was, but his face begged all of them to listen. “I just want to speak with you.”
“About what, Damian?” Lily echoed her husband’s question. “What would we want to hear from you?”
Damian was silent for a moment before finally speaking. “I... I wanted to see you. All of you. To, well, to apologize. To make up for how I...” He stopped for a second, focused on Luke, and then continued. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, Luke. I won’t deny that. But I don’t want to be that man anymore. I’m not that man anymore. And if there is a way to be forgiven, to make up for the things I’ve done, I want to do that.”
Holden snorted derisively, his eyes flashing with anger and disbelief. “If you think for a second that I’m going to let you-”
“Dad,” Luke said softly, reaching forward to touch his arm. “Don’t.” Holden turned to look at him, surprised, but Luke looked back at him calmly. “Let him say whatever it is he wants to say, then he can go.” He glanced at Damian over Holden’s shoulder. “Then I want him to go.”
Holden shook his head, was about to argue more, when Lily stopped him. “Maybe it would be best for me and Luke to handle this,” she suggested quietly. “Why don’t you take Noah inside, he’s been up for too long anyway.”
Both Holden and Noah started protesting at this. “No,” Noah said stubbornly, even though his voice had grown scratchy. “I’m staying with Luke.”
“Honey, you’re about to fall over, and it’s about time for another dose anyway,” she rubbed his arm. It was almost a running joke in the Snyder household now- any medicine Noah took could knock him out for hours.
“No. I don’t care. I’m staying,” Noah frowned obstinately, causing Luke to want to gasp and laugh at the same time. Noah was actually arguing with his mother, was actually refusing her request. Wow, this was one for the record books.
“Noah.” Lily frowned right back, hand on her hip, putting on her best stern-mother face. The one you weren’t allowed to talk back to. “You’re still sick and you need to get more rest. Nothing’s going to happen out here, I promise.” She turned to Holden next. “Get him inside, and make sure he stays inside.”
And when Lily’s face was like that, in her Lucinda-mode, no one could really argue. Holden glanced back at Damian one more time before putting a hand on Noah’s back, steering him towards the kitchen. “Come on, kiddo. No use fighting when she’s like this.” He turned to Luke. “If he tries anything...”
Luke smiled a little. “You can come back out here and beat the crap out of him. I promise, Dad.” He hoped he said that loud enough for Damian to hear. “We’ll be fine.” He spoke to both his dad and Noah. Noah looked at him uncertainly, but let Holden lead him back inside.
Luke turned around then, his smile hardening back into a glare. “Say what you have to say, Damian. Then go.”
Damian was looking in the direction of the kitchen doorway, but he looked back at Luke, trying to offer a smile. “So that must be your-”
“Don’t,” Luke cut him off. “We’re going to talk about what you’re doing here, not the guy I’m in love with.” He hoped that hurt him a little bit. “What do you want?”
Damian looked back and forth between him and Lily, gathering himself. “I want to make amends...”
“Luke?” Damian’s voice cut through his thoughts, bringing Luke back to the present.
“Sorry, Damian, I’m kinda tired. No, we haven’t heard anything new about Noah. Casey and everyone just figured I needed some time away,” he answered, hoping Damian would drop the subject there.
“Of course, whatever’s going to help you at this point. Any idea when you’ll be back?”
Luke frowned. He really had no idea. He didn’t plan on going back to Oakdale until he was sure Noah could. “I don’t know yet. Maybe a few more days. Why? Do you need me at work, did anything happen?” He wanted to ask if Damian had bribed anyone new, but now wasn’t the time for that.
“No, no everything’s... everything’s fine.” Maybe Damian thought Luke wouldn’t hear the hesitation there, but he did. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay, son.”
Luke wanted to tell Damian not to call him son, but more than that he just wanted to hang up the phone. He was talking to the wrong ‘father.’ Luke really, desperately, wanted to talk to Holden. To hear his dad say everything was going to be okay, that they had made the right decision busting Noah out of that hospital. That this mess with Damian and the bribery was fixable. If Holden said it, Luke could believe it.
“I’m okay,” he finally responded. “I’ll be home in a few days, I’ll give you a call then?”
“Sure. Call me if you need anything. And... and be careful, Luciano. I’ll see you soon.” There was that hesitation again. But before Luke could dwell on it, Damian hung up.
Luke stared at his phone for a few seconds, feeling like his mind was racing and blank at the same time.
“You should call him,” a voice, rough and quiet, spoke.
Luke twitched, startled, and looked to the bed. Noah was watching him, eyes sad and knowing. “I should call who?” Luke played dumb.
Noah shook his head a little. “Holden. You want to call him. And you should.”
Luke smiled, standing up and stretching a little before sitting down on the bed next to Noah’s hip, facing him. “And you should still be asleep,” he deflected.
“You don’t have to watch over me, Luke. I’m okay,” Noah’s voice was still soft, trying to sound reassuring.
The only problem was, Luke knew that at least part of it was an act. Noah was still holding stuff in, trying to be okay so Luke wouldn’t worry. Which just made Luke worry even more. He shrugged, smiling wider. “Maybe I like watching you,” he replied, tapping Noah on the nose.
It caused Noah to smile too, almost involuntarily. “Well, it’s not like I don’t like having you near a bed,” he admitted, before putting his arms around Luke’s waist and pulling, forcing Luke to fall fully into the bed almost on top of him.
He laughed a little, scolding at the same time. “Noah!” He twisted around enough so he wasn’t putting all of his weight onto Noah’s body, still worried a little about his leg. Instead he draped himself along one side of Noah’s body, propping himself up on one elbow. Once they were both comfortable, he leaned in to kiss the underside of Noah’s chin. “You’re hopeless.”
Noah hummed his unashamed agreement, kissing him back. After a moment, he grabbed Luke’s free hand in both of his, squeezing. “He’s always going to love you, you know. No fight between you two will ever change that,” he said, suddenly serious.
“I know,” Luke replied. And maybe that was part of the problem, in some ways.
“Are you okay?” Noah’s face was so earnest and concerned, it gave Luke those fuzzy feelings he swore he was too old and cynical to feel. Except for whenever Noah was with him, apparently.
He smiled. “Of course, I’m fine,” he realized in the back of his brain that he was trying to do the same kind of reassuring that Noah was. “You’re the one recuperating, how are-”
“Luke.” Noah’s voice stopped him again. “Stop.” He said it calmly, almost gently, rubbing his thumb along the length of Luke’s hand. “I know you are too. Recuperating, I mean. And with everything going on... please, just- just tell me how you’re doing?”
Luke stared at him for a full second, almost unsure of what to say. “I don’t know,” he finally whispered.
Noah studied him for a second before holding his arms out again. “Come here.”
Luke went willingly this time, burrowing himself into Noah’s chest, wrapping his arms around Noah’s middle just like he felt Noah’s wrapping around him. “I just wish everything could be different. Not us, not you,” he was quick to amend. “But with my dad. And with Damian. And with your family...” he shook his head a little, resting his forehead down so he could feel Noah’s heartbeat.
“I know,” he heard Noah’s soft reply. “I do too. But Luke? Just so you know? If I had to put up with all that- with everything- just so I could be with you and your annoyingly lovable self? I’d do it. You and I, we’re... you’re worth it to me.”
His goal probably wasn’t to make Luke cry, but he was dangerously close to it anyway. “I love you too,” he said instead, knowing that Noah would understand. After another moment, “And I’m not annoying,” he murmured. Noah’s answering laugh rumbled through both their bodies.
But just before they could really relax, before Luke could hope that Noah would get some more of the sleep he still needed, a sound from outside their window startled both of them. It sounded like a car pulling up into the driveway.
“Oh God...” Luke bolted upright, keeping one hand on Noah’s chest to stop him from doing the same. “Wait right here.”
Noah shook his head, frantic. “Luke, if it’s them, you guys have to go. You have to... to, I don’t know, hide or something. Get away. They’ll try to get you in trouble, they’ll-”
“Noah, no one is going anywhere, okay?” He climbed out of the bed. He could hear car doors opening and closing, muffled voices. Male and female. Damn it. “We’re not leaving you here, and we’re not letting them take you back.”
Noah looked terrified. “Luke...” He was well on his way to panicking, and Luke had two options- try to see who was coming up the front steps of the house, or try to calm Noah down. Really, there was no choice.
“Hey,” he sat back down on the bed, put his hand on Noah’s back. “It’s going to be okay. Whatever happens now, it’s you and me together. They can’t pull us apart again.” He leaned his forehead against Noah’s, the both of them breathing together.
A knock on the bedroom door had both of them flinching. Luke kept his hand on Noah as they stood up from the bed. “Guys?” Casey’s voice called to them. “You might want to come out here.”
Feeling slightly like they were walking to an execution, Luke led Noah out into the rest of the house. And stopped so suddenly in the hallway that Noah almost fell against him. “Oh my God,” he breathed out shakily.
The four people in the entranceway looked back at him, triumphant. “Hey there,” Holden smiled. Jack, Emma, and Lucy stood just behind him. “Uh, surprise?”
************
Holden watched the expression on Luke’s face go from scared to shocked to relieved to confused in the span of a few seconds, and he had to fight back a wider smile.
“What... what are you doing here?” Luke finally got himself to ask.
Holden made sure his smile was gentle, reassuring. “We thought you could use some help for a few days.” His gaze moved on to the guy standing behind Luke. Noah looked just as bewildered by it all, as though he was looking at a mirage, but at least he was upright. At least he was here. Holden let out a silent sigh of relief, the one he had been holding in until he could know that Noah was okay.
“But how?” Luke looked around at all of them, including his friends crowding the hallway beside them.
Jade cleared her throat from where she stood next to Casey. “I’ve been making a couple calls since we left the hospital, Luke. I think we need the backup right now, and someone who won’t destroy the kitchen anytime they walk into it.”
“Hey!” Casey protested before he could stop himself.
Emma smiled, stepping forward to pull both Luke and Noah into a hug. Holden pretended not to hear the thankful sigh from all three of them. “And that’s where I come in, sweetlings. You kids need some proper meals in you, not whatever junk you order at McDonald’s.”
“Actually we’ve been going to Bojangles more than-” Maddie shut Hunter up with an elbow to his side.
Emma just smiled, stepping back from the hug that neither boy seemed willing to end. “We left Oakdale under the pretense of a Snyder family reunion in New York. If anyone comes asking questions,” she touched Noah’s arm gently, smiling at him. “They won’t have reason to be suspicious.”
Noah didn’t look particularly convinced, but Jack spoke up reassuringly. “Everything’s taken care of. Brad and Katie took Jacob to Disneyland so they’re not in town either, and Carly is staying with Parker and Sage. Everything’s fine. And they never knew Lucy here was a part of the family, so they’d never suspect that anyway.”
Holden was still smiling when Luke looked back to him. He could see the questions in his son’s eyes, and he nodded confidently, hoping he was answering them. And he must have, because a second later Luke was right there in front of him, pulling him in for a hug. For a moment Holden was fifteen years younger, comforting his little boy about a skinned knee or bee sting. He held Luke tightly to him, the relief of it all nearly making him weak.
Over the top of Luke’s head, he half-watched as Jack approached Noah, giving him a light hug as well. “Missed you, kid,” he heard his cousin say quietly.
Noah returned the embrace, nodded a little, offering a smile. “Same here.”
Holden relaxed even more at that, squeezing Luke just a little tighter before pulling away. “We’ll talk later,” he said just loud enough for Luke to hear.
Luke gave a nod of his own, relieved. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Then he reached past Holden, hugging Lucy for a second. “Thanks for coming.”
“Of course!” she shoved his arm lightly before turning to Noah. “And if it’s okay, Noah, maybe I can take a look at your knee? Make sure it’s healing right and living with these crazy goofs hasn’t hurt it any more.”
“Sure,” he answered cautiously, probably embarrassed by the attention. Holden stood back and watched as Lucy hooked her arm through Noah’s and led him deeper into the house, following Casey, Jade and the others.
“This place is beautiful, how did you find it?” she asked them as they all entered the living room.
“Oh, um, it’s- it’s mine. My mom’s,” Hunter stuttered, waving his hand from the corner where he was standing. “Not my real mom. My first mom. It was hers.” He blushed furiously.
“Well alright then,” Lucy wasn’t fazed by the strange answer at all. She smiled at Hunter tentatively. “I don’t know you.”
Casey magically appeared between them. “Hunter, this is Lucy. Lucy, Hunter. Hunter is Alison’s brother and Emily’s son-” he held up a hand when Lucy opened her mouth. “Don’t ask, and Lucy is Luke’s cousin and Craig Montgomery’s daughter-” he switched the hand over to Hunter. “Don’t ask.”
“Okay,” they said together. Lucy smiled wider, held her hand out for Hunter. “Well, it’s nice to meet you Hunter.”
He stepped forward, almost tripping over his feet and falling into her. Casey caught him at the last second. “You too.” He smiled broadly, echoing hers. Especially when their hands touched.
Holden caught Luke’s quiet snort of laughter from beside him, and shook his head at his son, though he could practically hear his thoughts. We can’t go one day without a couple breaking up or coming together, can we?
He watched as Jack and Maddie sat with Noah on the couch, Lucy approaching to do whatever examination she had planned. Emma was busy in the kitchen already, enlisting Jade and Hunter to help her, Casey carrying her grocery bags and supplies. Which left him and Luke with nothing to do.
He put his arm around Luke’s shoulders, bringing him a little closer. “Let’s go for a walk somewhere, okay?”
For just a second, Luke looked nervous. But then he took a deep breath, smiled. “Sure. I know a place we can go.” He took a second to make eye contact with Noah, somehow silently telling him he’d be back soon. Noah nodded and smiled encouragingly, even as Lucy started scolding him to get his attention back on her.
Holden motioned for Luke to lead the way, taking one last second to glance around the living room and kitchen. At the bubble these kids and his family had created. Safe, happy. Together. He smiled, following Luke out the front door.
************
Luke led his dad down the driveway to the fountain and pond that was just across the quiet one-lane street they were on.
“Nice place,” Holden commented, taking a seat on the marble bench next to him.
“Yeah,” Luke breathed out, looking at the small pond, the giant willow tree hanging over one end of it. “Noah and I sit out here after dinner. I think it reminds both of us of...”
“Of home,” Holden finished for him. Luke just nodded. Both of them sat there, facing the pond, hands on their knees. “Luke,” Holden finally spoke. “I-”
Luke couldn’t let him do it. “I’m sorry, Dad. I’m so sorry. For making you think you’re not the dad I want. For... making it seem like I’d ever choose Damian over you. I mean, I know- I’m so lucky I have you. I know that. To think of the fathers I could have had, guys out there who treat their kids like...” His voice cracked against his will.
“Luke,” Holden turned to him now, hand going to his shoulder.
“No, I’m not done,” Luke was almost breathless, and missed the smile Holden couldn’t hide. “You’ve always been there for me. No matter what. You’ve always given me what I need, even if I don’t think I need it, but then I realize later you were right all along and I did. You...” quieter now, “Sometimes I think you’re a better dad than I deserve.”
“Hey,” Holden stopped him now. “I don’t ever want to hear you say something like that. You think I’d be this good of a dad to just anybody?”
Luke smiled, but still answered honestly. “Yes.”
Holden reached up, ruffling his hair a little like he used to when Luke was ten and went through that ‘I’m too cool to hug people’ phase. “Well, it’s not true. I got blessed with some pretty great kids, and you’re one of them.”
“Dad,” Luke shook his head. “I’ve made so many friggin’ mistakes, how can-”
“Oh, and I haven’t?” Holden pointed out. “Luke, they’re just mistakes. People have always made them, always will. You are not a bad person. I’m proud to call you my son, Luke. Look at all,” he waved a hand back towards the house. “I don’t think just anybody would do something like this.” He ducked his head a little, looking Luke in the eye. “My son would. And I’m always going to be damn lucky to call him my son.”
“I’m glad I’m a Snyder,” he said then, voice a little small, recalling their giant argument that started this whole thing. “I’d definitely rather be a Snyder than a Grimaldi. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Then why did you?” Holden prompted.
“I don’t-” Luke was about to say he didn’t know, but that wasn’t true, was it? “I was upset and panicked when we were arguing. And I wanted to make you mad, like I was mad. Because sometimes it’s scary being me. It’s like I’m waiting for that moment where Damian’s DNA is going to take over. Like it’s inevitable.”
“It’s not, Luke,” his dad insisted.
Luke sighed. “Logically, yeah, I know. But it feels like it could happen. Like Noah was always so scared that he would do something like the Colonel, you know? The pressure, the weight in the back of my brain telling me every ‘mistake’ I’ve made is something Damian would make... I just wanted to get it over with.”
“That doesn’t sound like you- leaving something up to fate. You’re usually more proactive and decisive than that.”
He shrugged. “I was scared. Every time Damian comes to town something bad happens. I wanted this time to be different. And I think I knew it wouldn’t be, but I was trying so hard to believe him this time. I didn’t want you to be right.”
“I’m sorry that I am,” Holden replied heavily, leaning in a little closer. “And I’m sorry I acted like I didn’t trust you or want you to grow up. Because the truth is, I’m a little selfish there Luke. I want you to grow up like me, like your grandmothers, like Jack, like... like my dad. I don’t want you to be burdened with, well, with Damian. I guess I got a little ahead of myself with that, though.”
Luke blinked back the tears in his eyes. “Can’t you just yell at me and tell me how stupid I’ve been?”
“I think that goes without saying, doesn’t it?” his dad joked back. After Luke laughed, he settled back more relaxed on the bench. “I know you, Luke. I know half that stuff you said was because you were upset. And I know that because half the stuff I said was for the same reason.”
“Like father, like son,” he said quietly, blushing a little when Holden grinned wider. Though he turned quizzical when Holden’s smile disappeared. “What?”
“Luke, there are some things I need to tell you. About the hit-and-run.” Holden looked about as unhappy as a person could look. A tiny walnut-size bit of fear formed in Luke’s stomach. “Jack caught the guy who did it, but they found out he was… he was hired to do it.”
“To hit Jade?” Luke asked, confused. “Why?” The look on his dad’s face had that walnut growing into a huge, giant boulder. “Oh. To hit me.”
Holden nodded reluctantly. “He was paid ten thousand dollars by someone who works for the Port Authority.”
Port Authority.
Oh.
Damn it. “Daniel Thrace?” he guessed. The boulder was an elephant now, stomping on his insides.
Holden didn’t even look that surprised that Luke knew the name. “So it is connected to Damian, isn’t it?” he asked, almost resigned.
Luke took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “I found out, a little while before the accident, that um… Damian’s been bribing Port Authority to get Grimaldi Shipping around fees and stuff. I don’t know all the details or how long it’s been going on, but I know it’s been awhile. Something must have happened between them.”
“And Daniel Thrace wanted to send Damian a message by hurting you.” Holden’s voice was a lot tighter. Funny enough, it reminded Luke of Noah whenever he tried to keep himself from getting angry. “Does Damian know that you know?”
Luke shook his head. “I was trying to find more evidence before I went to anyone about it. Noah and Jade and Casey were the only ones who knew.”
He waited for the freakout, for the ‘I told you so,’ but none came. Instead, Holden looked at him steadily. “Well, that ends now. From here on out, you’ve got me and Jack and your grandmother and anyone else who can help. We’ll all figure this out, Luke. I promise.”
Then he waited for himself to freak out, but it didn’t come either. He just smiled, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders he hadn’t even known had been there. “Good.”
Holden gritted his teeth for a second, jaw muscles jumping. “I’m not going to let Damian or anyone else hurt you, or Jade or Noah, again.”
Luke felt his own hands shake a little at that. They had nearly been killed, because of Damian. Noah’s life- both their lives- had nearly been ruined, because of Damian. And (as Jade has pointed out several times) Jade’s car had been ruined, because of Damian. Maybe they were all right. Maybe it was time to sever ties, once and for all.
They were crossing the street and almost back in the house when he realized his dad was speaking again. “You know, I’m proud of you Luke. For doing all this.” He nodded towards the front door. “The lengths you two go to, to be together. It’s pretty awe-inspiring.”
Luke was trying his best not to blush again. “He’s worth it.”
Holden’s arm was around his shoulders. “Yeah, he is. And I think he’d agree that you are too.”
Luke couldn’t help it then, he pulled Holden into another quick hug. “Thanks for not giving up on me, Dad.”
Holden just grinned as they re-entered the house. “Never going to happen, kiddo.” He might have said more, but they were both stopped by the smells coming from the kitchen. “Well, we know what Mama’s been up to.”
Luke just nodded, hearing the sounds of Hunter and Lucy assisting Emma in the kitchen, everyone else gathering in the dining room. He didn’t think it was possible, but Luke felt himself relax just a little bit more. With his dad next to him, the smell of Grandma’s cooking in his nose, and the voices of Noah and the others in his ears… it was as close to truly happy as he’d felt in a long time.
************
( CONTINUED IN 14b)
Chapter: 14a/16 - Let's Pretend We Don't Exist
Author: carolinablu85. or you can call me Ella! (or you can call me Al, if you like the song...)
Characters: Luke/Noah, Ali, Casey, Maddie, Damian, Holden, Jack, Lucy, Emma, Jade, Hunter, Lily, the Millers (OC), Marcus (OC), Tom, Margo, Lucinda
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: sequel to my fic "Sins of the Father," refers to lots of things that happened in that story, takes place a few months later!
Summary: Noah recuperates, Luke and Holden talk, the Millers search, Damian is evil
Disclaimer: I disclaim. I own a pair of sneakers, a cellphone, and some other stuff. The show? Nope, not that.
Author's Note: Today's chapter is brought to you by the song "Wraith Pinned to the Mist..." by Of Montreal. And yes, while it has been turned into a rather ubiquitous commercial jingle, the orginal is still pretty great!
Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10a / Chapter 10b / Chapter 11a / Chapter 11b / Chapter 12a / Chapter 12b / Chapter 13 /
“Is he really okay? Or is he doing that ‘I say I’m okay because I think that’s what you want to hear’ thing he does?”
Luke smiled. “I don’t know, to be honest. I think somewhere in between.” He heard Ali sigh on the other end of the phone. “But either way, I really do think he’s going to be alright. He just needs some time to figure it out in his head.”
“Of course, yeah.” There was a pause, some noise on her end of the line. “Crap, I have to go. Will you tell him hi for me? And anything else that sounds really reassuring?”
He laughed. “Of course I will. And thanks again, Ali. For covering for us with this thing.”
“Oh honey, of course! Okay, I really have to go. Give Noah a hug and kiss for me, and give one good glare at Casey and Jade if they get too cute, got it?”
“Yes ma’am,” he answered, slightly impressed with how well she was taking the breakup with Casey. “Talk to you later, Ali.”
After he hung up, he headed back into the kitchen. It wasn’t like he was going to cook or anything, but it offered the best view of the back porch. Which was where Noah was currently sitting, stretched out on a lawn chair, surrounded by pillows and blankets, listening to whatever words were coming out of Casey’s mouth.
Luke was slightly- in that Lily Snyder part of his brain- worried about Noah being outside in the cold for too long, but a larger and more logical part of his brain- which he admitted was his Holden Snyder side- knew that Noah needed it. It was their fourth day in this house, and Luke could see how jittery Noah got if stuck inside for too long.
Though he had to admit, being here was definitely helping. The six of them had developed a routine, steady and comforting. They were in their own universe here, one where reality and all its troubles couldn’t touch them. It was probably helping more than just Noah right now.
“Hey,” Maddie shuffled in, still in her pajamas. She stopped when she realized who she was talking to. “Oh God, you’re not about to make breakfast, are you?”
“No,” he gave her a glare as she reached for the coffee pot. “I’m trying to help Noah, not hurt him.”
She smirked. “You stole my next line,” she teased before adding some milk to her coffee mug. Then she gave a little laugh. “Of course, we could all get in here, I could throw on some Temptations, and we could reenact the breakfast scene from The Big Chill.” She laughed again at his confused expression and then followed his line of sight out the window to the back porch. “How is he today?”
Luke’s smile dropped a little. “He’s dealing, I think. Despite what he said when we got here... he’s shaken up. He’s trying to act like he’s fine, but-”
“I noticed it too,” Maddie nodded. “He’s really quiet. And it’s like he can’t stand to be in a room alone anymore.”
“Yeah,” Luke’s voice was just as soft. “Which is weird, it’s like the exact opposite of last year. Instead of withdrawing from everyone and locking himself away, it’s like he needs to be near people.”
“Can you blame him?” Maddie pointed out, leaning back against the counter next to him. “Luke, when I...” she stopped for a second before continuing. “When I got into his room? Even when he was asleep, he was, like, empty. I went to hold his hand and he didn’t know it was me, he pulled away so fast...” she trailed off, looking out the window again. “I really think he’s going to be okay, but I’m not surprised he’s like this now.”
Luke bit the inside of his cheek. He didn’t want to agree out loud, even though it was true. Noah had spent a month either alone or stuck with people he couldn’t trust. And he hadn’t talked for a lot of that time. So of course he was like this, afraid to be alone right now, not sure where he stood with everyone and everything.
Luke understood that. But it didn’t mean he liked it. And he didn’t like that Noah was trying to hide it, to be so strong for him and reassure him that he was fine. Well, okay, he liked that Noah had that impulse. He just wished he didn’t have to use it.
“He’s been having nightmares, I think,” Luke confided quietly. “Either that or all the time he spent in the hospital messed with his sleep schedule. I don’t know. But he wakes up all the time, in the middle of the night. Doesn’t make any noise, doesn’t bolt out of bed, none of that.”
“He doesn’t want to wake you up,” Maddie guessed.
Luke nodded. “But sometimes I do. He, like, jerks awake. Takes a minute or two to look around, remember where he is. Then he holds onto my arm or my hand or anything, and tries to go back to sleep. It’s happened a couple times each night.”
Maddie sat her empty coffee mug in the sink. “Well,” she mused quietly. “I mean, if what you were told is true, they were drugging him a lot in the beginning. And combined with everything else that’s happened, and being stuck in that same hospital room for so long...”
“Yeah,” Luke cut off her train of thought, not wanting to go any deeper than that. “We just have to get him to accept that the worst is over. And get him used to talking again.”
She grinned. “If anyone can do that, it’s us!” she said perkily. She gave Luke a quick hug. “What about you, how are you holding up?”
Luke offered up a tired smile. “I’m ready for a vacation. A real one, not a...” he waved his hand around them at the house. “Not a super-secret hideout one.”
“Hey,” Maddie said firmly, pinching his cheek a little teasingly. “As long as you two are together? Things are going to be fine.”
Luke poked her in the side. “Thanks.”
They both leaned against the counter again, looking out the window. And just in time, because right then Casey finished telling some story, waving his hands in the air crazily, causing Noah to smile. No, not just smile. He actually laughed. Luke felt something in his stomach untwist at the sight, and he found himself relaxing even more as Casey drew Noah into a huge, fierce, Casey-Hughes-hug, and Noah returned it willingly.
Both he and Maddie busied themselves wiping the kitchen clean as Casey and Noah walked back into the house, Noah still limping slightly, one hand out a little to steady himself. He stopped in the doorway to the kitchen while Casey headed to the stairs. “I’m gonna grab a shower,” Casey called out as he kept walking. “By the way guys, you’re not fooling anyone, we know you were watching us!”
And Luke would’ve lied or come up with some excuse, but the fact that Noah blushed and smiled at him, reaching out in an unspoken request for a hug? Took all his words away.
************
Luke sometimes wondered what his life would’ve been like if he had grown up in a normal town. With a normal family and normal parents and a normal boyfriend. But as always- just as he filled his head with images of apple pie and baseball games or whatever- he would remember that even if things always got screwed up, he still had what made him happy. He could deal with all the-
The phone ringing startled Luke out of his daydreams. He checked on Noah again- still sleeping, breathing deep and steady- and then picked up his cell. “Hello?” he answered quietly, not wanting to risk waking Noah. Granted, he could just get up and walk into the next room, but he wanted to be the first thing Noah saw when he opened his eyes. Just in case.
“Luke?” Damian sounded a little puzzled. “Is everything alright? I’ve been trying to call for days...”
“Damian, hi, um,” Luke ran a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face. Crap, he had totally forgotten about Damian. “Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m... I’m with Casey and Jade and Hunter. We’re up at Lake Michigan. Just for a little while.”
“Is it because of Noah? Have you heard something, is he okay?” Damian sounded genuinely concerned, which always threw Luke for a loop. Because until recently, he had never considered putting ‘Damian’ and ‘genuine’ in the same hemisphere, let alone the same sentence. But he had come a long way since the last time he had been in Oakdale, Luke had to admit.
Damian had reappeared in Oakdale at the same time that Noah’s pneumonia had, so the man had gotten a crash-course in how much the Snyders cared about his boyfriend...
“Okay,” Luke plopped down on the bench next to Noah. “You get five more minutes out here and then I’m taking you back inside.”
“Luke,” Noah near-whined, coughing at the end of the word. “I just sat down.”
Luke glared sternly, pulling the blanket around Noah’s shoulders a little tighter, keeping his hands flat against Noah’s chest. Even through the blanket and long-sleeved shirt and short-sleeved shirt Noah was wearing (he was chilled and shaking even though it was June), Luke could feel the crackle and stutter of his breath. Stupid pneumonia. “And you’ll be standing back up in five minutes, so enjoy it while it lasts.”
Noah pouted. Actually pouted. Luke had to fight so hard not to smile at the look on his face. “You love getting to boss me around, don’t you?”
Luke let the smile show now. “I love lots of things I get to do with you.” He leaned up a little, kissing Noah’s cheek. Noah rolled his eyes, even though he couldn’t help but smile too. Luke kissed him again, this time on the forehead as Noah rested it down on Luke’s shoulder.
They sat there for just a few minutes, completely ignoring everything around them, until the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. The sun was in their eyes as they tried to figure out who the driver was, and Noah coughing again distracted Luke from getting up to find out.
He had just planted another light kiss on the top of Noah’s head, rubbing his back soothingly, when a voice called out quietly. “Luciano.”
Luke froze. No. No way. His grip on Noah’s shoulder tightened, and for a second he couldn’t get himself to move. To turn, look up, and confirm that this man was back in Oakdale. No way.
But then Noah looked up at him, confused and wary. “Luke?”
That broke him out of his trance. He definitely wasn’t about to let Damian anywhere near Noah, that was for damn sure. “Noah, go inside, okay? Go find my parents.” He stood up, making sure he was between his boyfriend and his... and Damian.
Noah shook his head as he stood up too, still clutching the blanket around him. He moved next to Luke, holding his hand. “What’s going on?”
Luke would have answered him, but he saw Damian’s gaze zero in on their clasped hands. “Please, baby, it’s okay. Just go inside.” He saw Damian’s eyebrows raise at the ‘baby,’ but luckily he didn’t say anything. Because Luke would have punched him if he did.
Noah’s fever-addled brain must have finally caught up with everything. “Wait, this is him?” his voice was lower, tight. Angry. “I’m not leaving you alone with him.”
Damian held up his hands. “I’m not here to cause any trouble, Luciano, I-”
“My name is Luke,” he snapped quickly. “And don’t think for a second that you’re coming into this house.” He squeezed Noah’s hand, and was about to try to get him to go inside again, when the door to the kitchen opened. And suddenly, thankfully, his parents were standing next to him.
"What the hell are you doing here?” Holden’s voice was like thunder, and his face was just as stormy. He stood protectively in front of all of them, arms crossed, glaring hard at Damian.
Damian took a step back closer to his car, hands still up peaceably. “I stopped by your house but no one was home. I thought I might find you all here.” He looked at the four of them, his gaze curious when it landed on Noah. Luke fought the urge to pull Noah behind him, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference and probably just make Noah mad.
“Well, you found us. Now you can leave,” Holden spoke quietly but steadily.
“Please,” Damian stayed where he was, but his face begged all of them to listen. “I just want to speak with you.”
“About what, Damian?” Lily echoed her husband’s question. “What would we want to hear from you?”
Damian was silent for a moment before finally speaking. “I... I wanted to see you. All of you. To, well, to apologize. To make up for how I...” He stopped for a second, focused on Luke, and then continued. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, Luke. I won’t deny that. But I don’t want to be that man anymore. I’m not that man anymore. And if there is a way to be forgiven, to make up for the things I’ve done, I want to do that.”
Holden snorted derisively, his eyes flashing with anger and disbelief. “If you think for a second that I’m going to let you-”
“Dad,” Luke said softly, reaching forward to touch his arm. “Don’t.” Holden turned to look at him, surprised, but Luke looked back at him calmly. “Let him say whatever it is he wants to say, then he can go.” He glanced at Damian over Holden’s shoulder. “Then I want him to go.”
Holden shook his head, was about to argue more, when Lily stopped him. “Maybe it would be best for me and Luke to handle this,” she suggested quietly. “Why don’t you take Noah inside, he’s been up for too long anyway.”
Both Holden and Noah started protesting at this. “No,” Noah said stubbornly, even though his voice had grown scratchy. “I’m staying with Luke.”
“Honey, you’re about to fall over, and it’s about time for another dose anyway,” she rubbed his arm. It was almost a running joke in the Snyder household now- any medicine Noah took could knock him out for hours.
“No. I don’t care. I’m staying,” Noah frowned obstinately, causing Luke to want to gasp and laugh at the same time. Noah was actually arguing with his mother, was actually refusing her request. Wow, this was one for the record books.
“Noah.” Lily frowned right back, hand on her hip, putting on her best stern-mother face. The one you weren’t allowed to talk back to. “You’re still sick and you need to get more rest. Nothing’s going to happen out here, I promise.” She turned to Holden next. “Get him inside, and make sure he stays inside.”
And when Lily’s face was like that, in her Lucinda-mode, no one could really argue. Holden glanced back at Damian one more time before putting a hand on Noah’s back, steering him towards the kitchen. “Come on, kiddo. No use fighting when she’s like this.” He turned to Luke. “If he tries anything...”
Luke smiled a little. “You can come back out here and beat the crap out of him. I promise, Dad.” He hoped he said that loud enough for Damian to hear. “We’ll be fine.” He spoke to both his dad and Noah. Noah looked at him uncertainly, but let Holden lead him back inside.
Luke turned around then, his smile hardening back into a glare. “Say what you have to say, Damian. Then go.”
Damian was looking in the direction of the kitchen doorway, but he looked back at Luke, trying to offer a smile. “So that must be your-”
“Don’t,” Luke cut him off. “We’re going to talk about what you’re doing here, not the guy I’m in love with.” He hoped that hurt him a little bit. “What do you want?”
Damian looked back and forth between him and Lily, gathering himself. “I want to make amends...”
“Luke?” Damian’s voice cut through his thoughts, bringing Luke back to the present.
“Sorry, Damian, I’m kinda tired. No, we haven’t heard anything new about Noah. Casey and everyone just figured I needed some time away,” he answered, hoping Damian would drop the subject there.
“Of course, whatever’s going to help you at this point. Any idea when you’ll be back?”
Luke frowned. He really had no idea. He didn’t plan on going back to Oakdale until he was sure Noah could. “I don’t know yet. Maybe a few more days. Why? Do you need me at work, did anything happen?” He wanted to ask if Damian had bribed anyone new, but now wasn’t the time for that.
“No, no everything’s... everything’s fine.” Maybe Damian thought Luke wouldn’t hear the hesitation there, but he did. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay, son.”
Luke wanted to tell Damian not to call him son, but more than that he just wanted to hang up the phone. He was talking to the wrong ‘father.’ Luke really, desperately, wanted to talk to Holden. To hear his dad say everything was going to be okay, that they had made the right decision busting Noah out of that hospital. That this mess with Damian and the bribery was fixable. If Holden said it, Luke could believe it.
“I’m okay,” he finally responded. “I’ll be home in a few days, I’ll give you a call then?”
“Sure. Call me if you need anything. And... and be careful, Luciano. I’ll see you soon.” There was that hesitation again. But before Luke could dwell on it, Damian hung up.
Luke stared at his phone for a few seconds, feeling like his mind was racing and blank at the same time.
“You should call him,” a voice, rough and quiet, spoke.
Luke twitched, startled, and looked to the bed. Noah was watching him, eyes sad and knowing. “I should call who?” Luke played dumb.
Noah shook his head a little. “Holden. You want to call him. And you should.”
Luke smiled, standing up and stretching a little before sitting down on the bed next to Noah’s hip, facing him. “And you should still be asleep,” he deflected.
“You don’t have to watch over me, Luke. I’m okay,” Noah’s voice was still soft, trying to sound reassuring.
The only problem was, Luke knew that at least part of it was an act. Noah was still holding stuff in, trying to be okay so Luke wouldn’t worry. Which just made Luke worry even more. He shrugged, smiling wider. “Maybe I like watching you,” he replied, tapping Noah on the nose.
It caused Noah to smile too, almost involuntarily. “Well, it’s not like I don’t like having you near a bed,” he admitted, before putting his arms around Luke’s waist and pulling, forcing Luke to fall fully into the bed almost on top of him.
He laughed a little, scolding at the same time. “Noah!” He twisted around enough so he wasn’t putting all of his weight onto Noah’s body, still worried a little about his leg. Instead he draped himself along one side of Noah’s body, propping himself up on one elbow. Once they were both comfortable, he leaned in to kiss the underside of Noah’s chin. “You’re hopeless.”
Noah hummed his unashamed agreement, kissing him back. After a moment, he grabbed Luke’s free hand in both of his, squeezing. “He’s always going to love you, you know. No fight between you two will ever change that,” he said, suddenly serious.
“I know,” Luke replied. And maybe that was part of the problem, in some ways.
“Are you okay?” Noah’s face was so earnest and concerned, it gave Luke those fuzzy feelings he swore he was too old and cynical to feel. Except for whenever Noah was with him, apparently.
He smiled. “Of course, I’m fine,” he realized in the back of his brain that he was trying to do the same kind of reassuring that Noah was. “You’re the one recuperating, how are-”
“Luke.” Noah’s voice stopped him again. “Stop.” He said it calmly, almost gently, rubbing his thumb along the length of Luke’s hand. “I know you are too. Recuperating, I mean. And with everything going on... please, just- just tell me how you’re doing?”
Luke stared at him for a full second, almost unsure of what to say. “I don’t know,” he finally whispered.
Noah studied him for a second before holding his arms out again. “Come here.”
Luke went willingly this time, burrowing himself into Noah’s chest, wrapping his arms around Noah’s middle just like he felt Noah’s wrapping around him. “I just wish everything could be different. Not us, not you,” he was quick to amend. “But with my dad. And with Damian. And with your family...” he shook his head a little, resting his forehead down so he could feel Noah’s heartbeat.
“I know,” he heard Noah’s soft reply. “I do too. But Luke? Just so you know? If I had to put up with all that- with everything- just so I could be with you and your annoyingly lovable self? I’d do it. You and I, we’re... you’re worth it to me.”
His goal probably wasn’t to make Luke cry, but he was dangerously close to it anyway. “I love you too,” he said instead, knowing that Noah would understand. After another moment, “And I’m not annoying,” he murmured. Noah’s answering laugh rumbled through both their bodies.
But just before they could really relax, before Luke could hope that Noah would get some more of the sleep he still needed, a sound from outside their window startled both of them. It sounded like a car pulling up into the driveway.
“Oh God...” Luke bolted upright, keeping one hand on Noah’s chest to stop him from doing the same. “Wait right here.”
Noah shook his head, frantic. “Luke, if it’s them, you guys have to go. You have to... to, I don’t know, hide or something. Get away. They’ll try to get you in trouble, they’ll-”
“Noah, no one is going anywhere, okay?” He climbed out of the bed. He could hear car doors opening and closing, muffled voices. Male and female. Damn it. “We’re not leaving you here, and we’re not letting them take you back.”
Noah looked terrified. “Luke...” He was well on his way to panicking, and Luke had two options- try to see who was coming up the front steps of the house, or try to calm Noah down. Really, there was no choice.
“Hey,” he sat back down on the bed, put his hand on Noah’s back. “It’s going to be okay. Whatever happens now, it’s you and me together. They can’t pull us apart again.” He leaned his forehead against Noah’s, the both of them breathing together.
A knock on the bedroom door had both of them flinching. Luke kept his hand on Noah as they stood up from the bed. “Guys?” Casey’s voice called to them. “You might want to come out here.”
Feeling slightly like they were walking to an execution, Luke led Noah out into the rest of the house. And stopped so suddenly in the hallway that Noah almost fell against him. “Oh my God,” he breathed out shakily.
The four people in the entranceway looked back at him, triumphant. “Hey there,” Holden smiled. Jack, Emma, and Lucy stood just behind him. “Uh, surprise?”
************
Holden watched the expression on Luke’s face go from scared to shocked to relieved to confused in the span of a few seconds, and he had to fight back a wider smile.
“What... what are you doing here?” Luke finally got himself to ask.
Holden made sure his smile was gentle, reassuring. “We thought you could use some help for a few days.” His gaze moved on to the guy standing behind Luke. Noah looked just as bewildered by it all, as though he was looking at a mirage, but at least he was upright. At least he was here. Holden let out a silent sigh of relief, the one he had been holding in until he could know that Noah was okay.
“But how?” Luke looked around at all of them, including his friends crowding the hallway beside them.
Jade cleared her throat from where she stood next to Casey. “I’ve been making a couple calls since we left the hospital, Luke. I think we need the backup right now, and someone who won’t destroy the kitchen anytime they walk into it.”
“Hey!” Casey protested before he could stop himself.
Emma smiled, stepping forward to pull both Luke and Noah into a hug. Holden pretended not to hear the thankful sigh from all three of them. “And that’s where I come in, sweetlings. You kids need some proper meals in you, not whatever junk you order at McDonald’s.”
“Actually we’ve been going to Bojangles more than-” Maddie shut Hunter up with an elbow to his side.
Emma just smiled, stepping back from the hug that neither boy seemed willing to end. “We left Oakdale under the pretense of a Snyder family reunion in New York. If anyone comes asking questions,” she touched Noah’s arm gently, smiling at him. “They won’t have reason to be suspicious.”
Noah didn’t look particularly convinced, but Jack spoke up reassuringly. “Everything’s taken care of. Brad and Katie took Jacob to Disneyland so they’re not in town either, and Carly is staying with Parker and Sage. Everything’s fine. And they never knew Lucy here was a part of the family, so they’d never suspect that anyway.”
Holden was still smiling when Luke looked back to him. He could see the questions in his son’s eyes, and he nodded confidently, hoping he was answering them. And he must have, because a second later Luke was right there in front of him, pulling him in for a hug. For a moment Holden was fifteen years younger, comforting his little boy about a skinned knee or bee sting. He held Luke tightly to him, the relief of it all nearly making him weak.
Over the top of Luke’s head, he half-watched as Jack approached Noah, giving him a light hug as well. “Missed you, kid,” he heard his cousin say quietly.
Noah returned the embrace, nodded a little, offering a smile. “Same here.”
Holden relaxed even more at that, squeezing Luke just a little tighter before pulling away. “We’ll talk later,” he said just loud enough for Luke to hear.
Luke gave a nod of his own, relieved. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Then he reached past Holden, hugging Lucy for a second. “Thanks for coming.”
“Of course!” she shoved his arm lightly before turning to Noah. “And if it’s okay, Noah, maybe I can take a look at your knee? Make sure it’s healing right and living with these crazy goofs hasn’t hurt it any more.”
“Sure,” he answered cautiously, probably embarrassed by the attention. Holden stood back and watched as Lucy hooked her arm through Noah’s and led him deeper into the house, following Casey, Jade and the others.
“This place is beautiful, how did you find it?” she asked them as they all entered the living room.
“Oh, um, it’s- it’s mine. My mom’s,” Hunter stuttered, waving his hand from the corner where he was standing. “Not my real mom. My first mom. It was hers.” He blushed furiously.
“Well alright then,” Lucy wasn’t fazed by the strange answer at all. She smiled at Hunter tentatively. “I don’t know you.”
Casey magically appeared between them. “Hunter, this is Lucy. Lucy, Hunter. Hunter is Alison’s brother and Emily’s son-” he held up a hand when Lucy opened her mouth. “Don’t ask, and Lucy is Luke’s cousin and Craig Montgomery’s daughter-” he switched the hand over to Hunter. “Don’t ask.”
“Okay,” they said together. Lucy smiled wider, held her hand out for Hunter. “Well, it’s nice to meet you Hunter.”
He stepped forward, almost tripping over his feet and falling into her. Casey caught him at the last second. “You too.” He smiled broadly, echoing hers. Especially when their hands touched.
Holden caught Luke’s quiet snort of laughter from beside him, and shook his head at his son, though he could practically hear his thoughts. We can’t go one day without a couple breaking up or coming together, can we?
He watched as Jack and Maddie sat with Noah on the couch, Lucy approaching to do whatever examination she had planned. Emma was busy in the kitchen already, enlisting Jade and Hunter to help her, Casey carrying her grocery bags and supplies. Which left him and Luke with nothing to do.
He put his arm around Luke’s shoulders, bringing him a little closer. “Let’s go for a walk somewhere, okay?”
For just a second, Luke looked nervous. But then he took a deep breath, smiled. “Sure. I know a place we can go.” He took a second to make eye contact with Noah, somehow silently telling him he’d be back soon. Noah nodded and smiled encouragingly, even as Lucy started scolding him to get his attention back on her.
Holden motioned for Luke to lead the way, taking one last second to glance around the living room and kitchen. At the bubble these kids and his family had created. Safe, happy. Together. He smiled, following Luke out the front door.
************
Luke led his dad down the driveway to the fountain and pond that was just across the quiet one-lane street they were on.
“Nice place,” Holden commented, taking a seat on the marble bench next to him.
“Yeah,” Luke breathed out, looking at the small pond, the giant willow tree hanging over one end of it. “Noah and I sit out here after dinner. I think it reminds both of us of...”
“Of home,” Holden finished for him. Luke just nodded. Both of them sat there, facing the pond, hands on their knees. “Luke,” Holden finally spoke. “I-”
Luke couldn’t let him do it. “I’m sorry, Dad. I’m so sorry. For making you think you’re not the dad I want. For... making it seem like I’d ever choose Damian over you. I mean, I know- I’m so lucky I have you. I know that. To think of the fathers I could have had, guys out there who treat their kids like...” His voice cracked against his will.
“Luke,” Holden turned to him now, hand going to his shoulder.
“No, I’m not done,” Luke was almost breathless, and missed the smile Holden couldn’t hide. “You’ve always been there for me. No matter what. You’ve always given me what I need, even if I don’t think I need it, but then I realize later you were right all along and I did. You...” quieter now, “Sometimes I think you’re a better dad than I deserve.”
“Hey,” Holden stopped him now. “I don’t ever want to hear you say something like that. You think I’d be this good of a dad to just anybody?”
Luke smiled, but still answered honestly. “Yes.”
Holden reached up, ruffling his hair a little like he used to when Luke was ten and went through that ‘I’m too cool to hug people’ phase. “Well, it’s not true. I got blessed with some pretty great kids, and you’re one of them.”
“Dad,” Luke shook his head. “I’ve made so many friggin’ mistakes, how can-”
“Oh, and I haven’t?” Holden pointed out. “Luke, they’re just mistakes. People have always made them, always will. You are not a bad person. I’m proud to call you my son, Luke. Look at all,” he waved a hand back towards the house. “I don’t think just anybody would do something like this.” He ducked his head a little, looking Luke in the eye. “My son would. And I’m always going to be damn lucky to call him my son.”
“I’m glad I’m a Snyder,” he said then, voice a little small, recalling their giant argument that started this whole thing. “I’d definitely rather be a Snyder than a Grimaldi. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Then why did you?” Holden prompted.
“I don’t-” Luke was about to say he didn’t know, but that wasn’t true, was it? “I was upset and panicked when we were arguing. And I wanted to make you mad, like I was mad. Because sometimes it’s scary being me. It’s like I’m waiting for that moment where Damian’s DNA is going to take over. Like it’s inevitable.”
“It’s not, Luke,” his dad insisted.
Luke sighed. “Logically, yeah, I know. But it feels like it could happen. Like Noah was always so scared that he would do something like the Colonel, you know? The pressure, the weight in the back of my brain telling me every ‘mistake’ I’ve made is something Damian would make... I just wanted to get it over with.”
“That doesn’t sound like you- leaving something up to fate. You’re usually more proactive and decisive than that.”
He shrugged. “I was scared. Every time Damian comes to town something bad happens. I wanted this time to be different. And I think I knew it wouldn’t be, but I was trying so hard to believe him this time. I didn’t want you to be right.”
“I’m sorry that I am,” Holden replied heavily, leaning in a little closer. “And I’m sorry I acted like I didn’t trust you or want you to grow up. Because the truth is, I’m a little selfish there Luke. I want you to grow up like me, like your grandmothers, like Jack, like... like my dad. I don’t want you to be burdened with, well, with Damian. I guess I got a little ahead of myself with that, though.”
Luke blinked back the tears in his eyes. “Can’t you just yell at me and tell me how stupid I’ve been?”
“I think that goes without saying, doesn’t it?” his dad joked back. After Luke laughed, he settled back more relaxed on the bench. “I know you, Luke. I know half that stuff you said was because you were upset. And I know that because half the stuff I said was for the same reason.”
“Like father, like son,” he said quietly, blushing a little when Holden grinned wider. Though he turned quizzical when Holden’s smile disappeared. “What?”
“Luke, there are some things I need to tell you. About the hit-and-run.” Holden looked about as unhappy as a person could look. A tiny walnut-size bit of fear formed in Luke’s stomach. “Jack caught the guy who did it, but they found out he was… he was hired to do it.”
“To hit Jade?” Luke asked, confused. “Why?” The look on his dad’s face had that walnut growing into a huge, giant boulder. “Oh. To hit me.”
Holden nodded reluctantly. “He was paid ten thousand dollars by someone who works for the Port Authority.”
Port Authority.
Oh.
Damn it. “Daniel Thrace?” he guessed. The boulder was an elephant now, stomping on his insides.
Holden didn’t even look that surprised that Luke knew the name. “So it is connected to Damian, isn’t it?” he asked, almost resigned.
Luke took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “I found out, a little while before the accident, that um… Damian’s been bribing Port Authority to get Grimaldi Shipping around fees and stuff. I don’t know all the details or how long it’s been going on, but I know it’s been awhile. Something must have happened between them.”
“And Daniel Thrace wanted to send Damian a message by hurting you.” Holden’s voice was a lot tighter. Funny enough, it reminded Luke of Noah whenever he tried to keep himself from getting angry. “Does Damian know that you know?”
Luke shook his head. “I was trying to find more evidence before I went to anyone about it. Noah and Jade and Casey were the only ones who knew.”
He waited for the freakout, for the ‘I told you so,’ but none came. Instead, Holden looked at him steadily. “Well, that ends now. From here on out, you’ve got me and Jack and your grandmother and anyone else who can help. We’ll all figure this out, Luke. I promise.”
Then he waited for himself to freak out, but it didn’t come either. He just smiled, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders he hadn’t even known had been there. “Good.”
Holden gritted his teeth for a second, jaw muscles jumping. “I’m not going to let Damian or anyone else hurt you, or Jade or Noah, again.”
Luke felt his own hands shake a little at that. They had nearly been killed, because of Damian. Noah’s life- both their lives- had nearly been ruined, because of Damian. And (as Jade has pointed out several times) Jade’s car had been ruined, because of Damian. Maybe they were all right. Maybe it was time to sever ties, once and for all.
They were crossing the street and almost back in the house when he realized his dad was speaking again. “You know, I’m proud of you Luke. For doing all this.” He nodded towards the front door. “The lengths you two go to, to be together. It’s pretty awe-inspiring.”
Luke was trying his best not to blush again. “He’s worth it.”
Holden’s arm was around his shoulders. “Yeah, he is. And I think he’d agree that you are too.”
Luke couldn’t help it then, he pulled Holden into another quick hug. “Thanks for not giving up on me, Dad.”
Holden just grinned as they re-entered the house. “Never going to happen, kiddo.” He might have said more, but they were both stopped by the smells coming from the kitchen. “Well, we know what Mama’s been up to.”
Luke just nodded, hearing the sounds of Hunter and Lucy assisting Emma in the kitchen, everyone else gathering in the dining room. He didn’t think it was possible, but Luke felt himself relax just a little bit more. With his dad next to him, the smell of Grandma’s cooking in his nose, and the voices of Noah and the others in his ears… it was as close to truly happy as he’d felt in a long time.
************
( CONTINUED IN 14b)