Lost Fic: Kate/Juliet: 'Drowning is not so pitiful..' Chapter 4
Title : Drowning is not so pitiful ... (as the attempt to rise)
Author: Carly Carter
Fandom: Lost
Pairing: Kate/Juliet (& some unfortunate implications of Jate & Jacket)
Rating: PG ish (Some swearing)
Disclaimer: Don't own anything
Summary: Juliet smiles, brightly, enchantingly. It causes shivers down Kate's spine....
AN: Special thanks to zippy88 for strange and lengthy lost conversations that planted these ideas in my head. Thanks to xixlovexgreenx for the icon, and the amazing guys at ff.net who have been so encouraging and supportive, and last but not least to each and every person who takes time to read and give feedback, you guys make my world go round.
AN 2: Forgive me for this chapter, and my complete character assassination of Kate and Juliet. I'm so nasty I know. I don't know what came over me, only that writing this was strangely therapeutic. For what it's worth, this is my story...
Drowning is not so pitiful....
….As the attempt to rise
(Emily Dickinson)
Chapter 4
While Juliet's words are not harsh, they are cold. With an eerie tinge of gentleness that stops Kate in her tracks. Kate is stunned momentarily, her eyes glued to that little plane as she refuses to meet Juliet's gaze- Something which irritates Juliet beyond belief. She reaches for the plane but Juliet swiftly pulls away.
"Give it back." Kate utters. The words aren't as angry as Juliet expected. They are more desperate. Almost pathetic. Kate stands to her feet, towering over Juliet in an attempt to intimidate her. "Give it back." She demands, forcefully this time.
"You stole this from my tent." Juliet tells her softly, slowly, as she rises to her feet to stand face to face with the other woman.
"Stole it?" Kate scoffs. So caught up is Kate in defending her right of possession to Juliet, that she doesn't stop to wonder why Juliet is accusing her of stealing from her tent. She doesn't stop to ask Juliet just why she had given that plane to Jack. There would be no point in any case, the reason was clear enough. The same reason Juliet took it in the first place no doubt, to get under Kate's skin. Kate doesn't have the clarity or insight in that moment to make the connection that Jack had stolen that plane from Juliet's tent."It's mine. It belongs to me! How can I steal it?"
The thing is, Juliet silently concedes, Kate is quite right about that. The plane had been hers, and Ben had taken it from her. On a rational level Juliet knows she should have given that plane back to Kate weeks ago. But in that moment, Juliet doesn't care. All she wants is Rachel's things back. And that fact that Kate has taken them fills her with more anger than she has ever known.
"I want my things back, Kate" Juliet tells her, making an effort to keep her voice calm as she gracefully takes a step back from Kate, putting as much distance as she can between the two of them. She tries to keep the desperation out of her own voice. She doesn't want to appear pathetic, not as pathetic as Kate appears in that moment, desperate to get her hands on some stupid piece of junk. Juliet tries to make herself sound menacing and threatening, enough so that Kate won't even stop to ask just what was so important about those possessions Juliet was desperate to have back. She doesn't want Kate to know her weakness.
Juliet smiles, brightly, enchantingly. It causes shivers down Kate's spine. They've reached an impasse of sorts. Kate wants her plane back, Juliet wants Rachel's things, but neither is prepared to be the first to give in.
"What would I want with your precious things?" Kate asks, and her bewilderment seems genuine. Far too genuine than any pretence Kate is capable of.
"I don't know." Juliet answers, honestly." I don't know why you would take my things. I don't know why you're so hell-bent on turning everyone on this island against me, to make out that I'm some sort of monster. All I know is that you did it. Just like I know you have my things. Tell me where they are. Right now. Before this becomes extremely unpleasant."
This time Kate laughs at the other woman, making Juliet's blood boil. So amused is Kate by Juliet's absurd claims that she misses the venom in her final threat.
"You don't know why I would warm my friends about you? You're one of 'them'. The others." Kate answers her.
Juliet pushes her anger aside, struggling to maintain control "Not anymore, Now I'm one of you." She answers, unmistakable irritation creeping into her tone.
"Because it suits you." Kate tells her, voice dripping with disdain. "Because your people abandoned you and now you're outnumbered. The only person you care about is you, and you'd sacrifice the rest of us in a heartbeat if it was in your own interests." Kate has momentarily forgotten about her little plane. She is enjoying the rare sight of Juliet Burke squirming uncomfortably in front of her. She is enjoying her chance to stand and tell Juliet Burke every thing she thinks about her.
Juliet wants to laugh in Kate's face the way Kate just laughed in hers, so absurd is this conversation. But she hasn't got it left in her to laugh. She is angry. Enraged. Kate doesn't know the first thing about who or what Juliet cares about. Kate doesn't understand the first thing about how Juliet is just as much a prisoner here as the rest of them. Kate doesn't understand how Juliet left Rachel behind, how every last thing she did was only to get home to Rachel and Julian. Finally, Juliet snaps. So sick is she of Kate's accusations, of being painted as the villain. And partly, it's the truth behind Kate's words that angers her the most. Yes, she was one of the others. Yes, she did some terrible things. Yes, Rachel would never forgive her if she knew the kind of person Juliet had become. And although none of that is Kate's fault, Kate is standing there, attacking her, and somehow it's easy for Juliet to believe in that moment that blaming Kate will somehow fix everything. That attacking Kate will somehow make her feel better.
"It's not like you're any different to me." Juliet spits at her in reply. She waves the little plane tauntingly infront of Kate's face, her voice growing louder, less controlled. "This isn't even yours, is it Kate? This is Tom's plane. You remember Tom? You used him to further your own agenda, and he paid with his life. How dare you stand there and accuse me of only caring about myself?!"
That cut Kate too close to home. Far too close for her to be able to ignore it. Juliet's words were not untrue, that enrages Kate all the more. Brings everything crashing back down around her, reminding her again of how Juliet knew every last thing about her life, how Juliet had told it all to Jack. Every last painful dark secret exposed. Kate can't bring herself to compose a verbal reply. In any case, she was never going to win a war against Juliet Burke with words.
Before Juliet knows what hit her, Kate has pushed the other woman to the ground, striking her hard across the face. Juliet tastes the blood from her split lip. In retaliation, Juliet pulls on Kate's hair, hard. It brings her a glimmer of satisfaction when Kate cries out involuntarily.
Having little physical defence against Kate, Juliet continues crushing her the best way she knows how to, with condemning words. "It's all true, everything I said, that's what drives you so crazy Kate, you know I'm not the monster, you are." Juliet whispers into the other woman's ear. It's almost as if she is deliberately taunting Kate now. Almost as if she is enjoying the pain of Kate's attack. As if she somehow deserves it. As if after enduring her punishment, Juliet would find herself completely absolved of responsibility in all the terrible things she had been a part of in the past three years.
Juliet closes her eyes, waiting for the next punch. But it never comes. Instead, Kate is suddenly gone from on top of her. Kate is screaming for Jack to let her go as he pulls her away.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" Jack asks Kate. He doesn't wait for an answer before turning to Juliet, as she sits in the sand wiping blood from her face, and asking her if she is alright. Juliet nods, silently.
In spite of being somewhat grateful to him for saving her from a merciless and humiliating beating, It irritates Juliet that Jack has followed her, that he has intruded on this moment. Cruel and confusing and destructive as it had been, it had been something between her and Kate alone. A place that he didn't belong. A thing that he would never understand. And while she can not straighten out in her head if she likes Kate Austen or despises her, one thing Juliet now knows beyond a shadow of a doubt, is that she and Kate Austen understand each other.
Uncomfortable silence hangs in the air, tinged with anger and betrayal and bewilderment. Juliet can't stand the sight of Jack with his arms around Kate as she struggles to be free from him, she turns her head away. As Juliet shakes the sand from her hair, she catches sight of that little broken toy plane, discarded in the sand amidst the drama of the moment. And the sight of it causes her eyes to water.
Author: Carly Carter
Fandom: Lost
Pairing: Kate/Juliet (& some unfortunate implications of Jate & Jacket)
Rating: PG ish (Some swearing)
Disclaimer: Don't own anything
Summary: Juliet smiles, brightly, enchantingly. It causes shivers down Kate's spine....
AN: Special thanks to zippy88 for strange and lengthy lost conversations that planted these ideas in my head. Thanks to xixlovexgreenx for the icon, and the amazing guys at ff.net who have been so encouraging and supportive, and last but not least to each and every person who takes time to read and give feedback, you guys make my world go round.
AN 2: Forgive me for this chapter, and my complete character assassination of Kate and Juliet. I'm so nasty I know. I don't know what came over me, only that writing this was strangely therapeutic. For what it's worth, this is my story...
Drowning is not so pitiful....
….As the attempt to rise
(Emily Dickinson)
Chapter 4
While Juliet's words are not harsh, they are cold. With an eerie tinge of gentleness that stops Kate in her tracks. Kate is stunned momentarily, her eyes glued to that little plane as she refuses to meet Juliet's gaze- Something which irritates Juliet beyond belief. She reaches for the plane but Juliet swiftly pulls away.
"Give it back." Kate utters. The words aren't as angry as Juliet expected. They are more desperate. Almost pathetic. Kate stands to her feet, towering over Juliet in an attempt to intimidate her. "Give it back." She demands, forcefully this time.
"You stole this from my tent." Juliet tells her softly, slowly, as she rises to her feet to stand face to face with the other woman.
"Stole it?" Kate scoffs. So caught up is Kate in defending her right of possession to Juliet, that she doesn't stop to wonder why Juliet is accusing her of stealing from her tent. She doesn't stop to ask Juliet just why she had given that plane to Jack. There would be no point in any case, the reason was clear enough. The same reason Juliet took it in the first place no doubt, to get under Kate's skin. Kate doesn't have the clarity or insight in that moment to make the connection that Jack had stolen that plane from Juliet's tent."It's mine. It belongs to me! How can I steal it?"
The thing is, Juliet silently concedes, Kate is quite right about that. The plane had been hers, and Ben had taken it from her. On a rational level Juliet knows she should have given that plane back to Kate weeks ago. But in that moment, Juliet doesn't care. All she wants is Rachel's things back. And that fact that Kate has taken them fills her with more anger than she has ever known.
"I want my things back, Kate" Juliet tells her, making an effort to keep her voice calm as she gracefully takes a step back from Kate, putting as much distance as she can between the two of them. She tries to keep the desperation out of her own voice. She doesn't want to appear pathetic, not as pathetic as Kate appears in that moment, desperate to get her hands on some stupid piece of junk. Juliet tries to make herself sound menacing and threatening, enough so that Kate won't even stop to ask just what was so important about those possessions Juliet was desperate to have back. She doesn't want Kate to know her weakness.
Juliet smiles, brightly, enchantingly. It causes shivers down Kate's spine. They've reached an impasse of sorts. Kate wants her plane back, Juliet wants Rachel's things, but neither is prepared to be the first to give in.
"What would I want with your precious things?" Kate asks, and her bewilderment seems genuine. Far too genuine than any pretence Kate is capable of.
"I don't know." Juliet answers, honestly." I don't know why you would take my things. I don't know why you're so hell-bent on turning everyone on this island against me, to make out that I'm some sort of monster. All I know is that you did it. Just like I know you have my things. Tell me where they are. Right now. Before this becomes extremely unpleasant."
This time Kate laughs at the other woman, making Juliet's blood boil. So amused is Kate by Juliet's absurd claims that she misses the venom in her final threat.
"You don't know why I would warm my friends about you? You're one of 'them'. The others." Kate answers her.
Juliet pushes her anger aside, struggling to maintain control "Not anymore, Now I'm one of you." She answers, unmistakable irritation creeping into her tone.
"Because it suits you." Kate tells her, voice dripping with disdain. "Because your people abandoned you and now you're outnumbered. The only person you care about is you, and you'd sacrifice the rest of us in a heartbeat if it was in your own interests." Kate has momentarily forgotten about her little plane. She is enjoying the rare sight of Juliet Burke squirming uncomfortably in front of her. She is enjoying her chance to stand and tell Juliet Burke every thing she thinks about her.
Juliet wants to laugh in Kate's face the way Kate just laughed in hers, so absurd is this conversation. But she hasn't got it left in her to laugh. She is angry. Enraged. Kate doesn't know the first thing about who or what Juliet cares about. Kate doesn't understand the first thing about how Juliet is just as much a prisoner here as the rest of them. Kate doesn't understand how Juliet left Rachel behind, how every last thing she did was only to get home to Rachel and Julian. Finally, Juliet snaps. So sick is she of Kate's accusations, of being painted as the villain. And partly, it's the truth behind Kate's words that angers her the most. Yes, she was one of the others. Yes, she did some terrible things. Yes, Rachel would never forgive her if she knew the kind of person Juliet had become. And although none of that is Kate's fault, Kate is standing there, attacking her, and somehow it's easy for Juliet to believe in that moment that blaming Kate will somehow fix everything. That attacking Kate will somehow make her feel better.
"It's not like you're any different to me." Juliet spits at her in reply. She waves the little plane tauntingly infront of Kate's face, her voice growing louder, less controlled. "This isn't even yours, is it Kate? This is Tom's plane. You remember Tom? You used him to further your own agenda, and he paid with his life. How dare you stand there and accuse me of only caring about myself?!"
That cut Kate too close to home. Far too close for her to be able to ignore it. Juliet's words were not untrue, that enrages Kate all the more. Brings everything crashing back down around her, reminding her again of how Juliet knew every last thing about her life, how Juliet had told it all to Jack. Every last painful dark secret exposed. Kate can't bring herself to compose a verbal reply. In any case, she was never going to win a war against Juliet Burke with words.
Before Juliet knows what hit her, Kate has pushed the other woman to the ground, striking her hard across the face. Juliet tastes the blood from her split lip. In retaliation, Juliet pulls on Kate's hair, hard. It brings her a glimmer of satisfaction when Kate cries out involuntarily.
Having little physical defence against Kate, Juliet continues crushing her the best way she knows how to, with condemning words. "It's all true, everything I said, that's what drives you so crazy Kate, you know I'm not the monster, you are." Juliet whispers into the other woman's ear. It's almost as if she is deliberately taunting Kate now. Almost as if she is enjoying the pain of Kate's attack. As if she somehow deserves it. As if after enduring her punishment, Juliet would find herself completely absolved of responsibility in all the terrible things she had been a part of in the past three years.
Juliet closes her eyes, waiting for the next punch. But it never comes. Instead, Kate is suddenly gone from on top of her. Kate is screaming for Jack to let her go as he pulls her away.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" Jack asks Kate. He doesn't wait for an answer before turning to Juliet, as she sits in the sand wiping blood from her face, and asking her if she is alright. Juliet nods, silently.
In spite of being somewhat grateful to him for saving her from a merciless and humiliating beating, It irritates Juliet that Jack has followed her, that he has intruded on this moment. Cruel and confusing and destructive as it had been, it had been something between her and Kate alone. A place that he didn't belong. A thing that he would never understand. And while she can not straighten out in her head if she likes Kate Austen or despises her, one thing Juliet now knows beyond a shadow of a doubt, is that she and Kate Austen understand each other.
Uncomfortable silence hangs in the air, tinged with anger and betrayal and bewilderment. Juliet can't stand the sight of Jack with his arms around Kate as she struggles to be free from him, she turns her head away. As Juliet shakes the sand from her hair, she catches sight of that little broken toy plane, discarded in the sand amidst the drama of the moment. And the sight of it causes her eyes to water.