Aww, Dee, you've got me excited! You never fail to see the "behind the scenes" stuff in my fic--the little clues I plant, or the passages that caused me the most trouble, etc--and I'm really looking forward to hearing what you think of this one! Hope you enjoy! :)
(And I noticed that you updated "Wounded Heart," so while you're reading mine, I get to read yours, yay!)
Whee, Dawn, the best part of finishing this fic is getting to read your comments! What I said to Dee, above, applies to you too--You NEVER fail to pick out the passages I liked the most, and/or the plot points I think are the most important, or gave me the most trouble. It's like you have a literary sixth sense, no doubt b/c you're such a good writer yourself. :)
In this case, as usual, you quoted just about every one of the passages I worked on the hardest. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed them! Especially the one about Jor-El:
...it's easy to forget that before SV came along, Jor-El wasn't a douchebag, but a devoted, protective father who gave his own life for his son's. I love that you reminded us of the true Jor-El here.The more deeply I got into writing this, the more I saw the parallels between the "real" Jor-El and Gabriel, and I'm glad you thought it came out here
( ... )
“I’d gladly die to save my child,” he answered quietly. “Wouldn’t you?”
...“I already did,” the king’s voice murmured sadly.
Best line of the night! Once again you imbue AI!Jor-El with humanity. And to parallel him with Gabe was just awesome. Finally, the AI gets it!
“My son chose well.”
Finally, a compliment! You go, Chloe - I think he likes ya now!
And the crown/bracelet/ring was a brilliant touch. And Alexander bowing to greet his father - but not too low - was such a Lexy thing to do!
What stood out for me in this chapter was the triangle (as it were) of fathers: Jor-El, Gabe and King Leo. Each one brought something poignant to the story, and it was interesting to see how their kids turned out because of their parenting techniquies - or in Kal's case, despite his father's special brand of parenting!
Awww, Dee, once again, you put your finger on one of the passages that I loved the most! That was, in my mind, the big turning point for both Jor-El and Chloe, where they each stopped looking at each other like inconvenient obstacles and started seeing each other as real people.
What stood out for me in this chapter was the triangle (as it were) of fathers: Jor-El, Gabe and King Leo. Each one brought something poignant to the story, and it was interesting to see how their kids turned out because of their parenting techniquies - or in Kal's case, despite his father's special brand of parenting!You liked that, yay!! Basically, it's a parable of the Wise and Foolish Fathers, with Gabe the wise father, Leo the foolish one, and Jor-El the one wavering in-between. I'm only sorry that I wasn't able to add Jonathan into the mix, since he and Martha are largely responsible for the way Kal turned out, but Gabe, imo, pretty much stands for the same values that Jonathan represents, so I hoped he could do double duty
( ... )
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(And I noticed that you updated "Wounded Heart," so while you're reading mine, I get to read yours, yay!)
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In this case, as usual, you quoted just about every one of the passages I worked on the hardest. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed them! Especially the one about Jor-El:
...it's easy to forget that before SV came along, Jor-El wasn't a douchebag, but a devoted, protective father who gave his own life for his son's. I love that you reminded us of the true Jor-El here.The more deeply I got into writing this, the more I saw the parallels between the "real" Jor-El and Gabriel, and I'm glad you thought it came out here ( ... )
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That's because I want to run and read the conclusion...I can't help myself. I'll return and comment properly once I'm done.
But I must say that I love Gabe Sullivan. He's Da Man.
I'll be back! *superspeeds to Conclusion*
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“I’d gladly die to save my child,” he answered quietly. “Wouldn’t you?”
...“I already did,” the king’s voice murmured sadly.
Best line of the night! Once again you imbue AI!Jor-El with humanity. And to parallel him with Gabe was just awesome. Finally, the AI gets it!
“My son chose well.”
Finally, a compliment! You go, Chloe - I think he likes ya now!
And the crown/bracelet/ring was a brilliant touch. And Alexander bowing to greet his father - but not too low - was such a Lexy thing to do!
What stood out for me in this chapter was the triangle (as it were) of fathers: Jor-El, Gabe and King Leo. Each one brought something poignant to the story, and it was interesting to see how their kids turned out because of their parenting techniquies - or in Kal's case, despite his father's special brand of parenting!
Great chapter, Deb. Brava! :)
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What stood out for me in this chapter was the triangle (as it were) of fathers: Jor-El, Gabe and King Leo. Each one brought something poignant to the story, and it was interesting to see how their kids turned out because of their parenting techniquies - or in Kal's case, despite his father's special brand of parenting!You liked that, yay!! Basically, it's a parable of the Wise and Foolish Fathers, with Gabe the wise father, Leo the foolish one, and Jor-El the one wavering in-between. I'm only sorry that I wasn't able to add Jonathan into the mix, since he and Martha are largely responsible for the way Kal turned out, but Gabe, imo, pretty much stands for the same values that Jonathan represents, so I hoped he could do double duty ( ... )
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