what it comes down to is that one should not allow themselves to be in a weakened state even around those who you think it's ok to be vulnerable around. i said i love you. i shouldn't have. i knew better, but in the turmoil and weakness following passing out and being told i could be pregnant...i said it. i meant it in the sense of 'i love you for ( Read more... )

a few nights ago i lay in my lover's bed, uneasy, unsatisfied in spirit though in body repleat, the callings of the flesh subdued for another little while, the mind racing and the body responding to this frenetic searching, i dreamed ( Read more... )

or don't meet me at all ( Read more... )

having read thru all the old journals that i have written...i have decided that in the two years i have been living more or less on my own in vancouver...i have become more eloquent, better able to communicate...but however beautifully sung, the lyrics are still the same sappy junk that dribbled out of my mind and thru my fingers two years ago. ( Read more... )

in othernews, i was right that the cipro wouldnt work, and i know have the dubious pleasure of getting 'bug juice' pumped in intravenously. last time i did this it left a crater in my arm at the injection site. suffice it to say, i am terribly excited to go back to the hosp *thumbs up*
love you all
sss

well folks i have come to a decision ( Read more... )

hows this for ya? how can a person be in love with someone, wanting to spend the rest of their life with them, but not if it is like THIS. THIS is a joke surely. THIS is not how it was supposed to go. what can change THIS? what can make THIS all better? why does it feel like my desire to just clam up and let this wave wash over me and say to myself ( Read more... )

being in love is a weird thing. there is this tug of war between self reliance and self possession and the urge to totally abandone yourself to this other being, this one you find so amazing and lovely. there is this need to be near to them, to touch them, to be ONE...and yet also this need to show you arent completely losing your mind or soul by ( Read more... )

is a major ow. ken coming back is good. painkillers are such major depressants tho, so it is very good to have something to look forward to. glad i cooked that meal so that my good friends could all stay near me while i was my most depressed. love em all.
time for a smoke
sss

is hard enough.
being in love when they are not here to enjoy is second cousin to self flagilation...sp?....because it just hurts so good
sss