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VOTINGSSSS
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Cielo
Series: Digital Devil Saga
Character Age: Physically an older teen
Canon: The Junkyard: a city of eternal war, fought by emotionless soldiers. The tribe that is victorious is promised Nirvana, but the tribes have reached a stalemate. Then there's a mysterious flash of light, a mysterious girl, and all of a sudden everyone's a cannibal demon. You have to admit, it's a creative way to end a stalemate. Along with their sudden desire to eat people comes other things, like emotions and personalities, and things get a little complicated. As for some reason, waking from being an emotionless killing machine into a cannibal demon with emotions doesn't always lead to the most well-adjusted people. Shocking, right?
Under the circumstances, Cielo's one of the more well-adjusted people around. He thinks all this eating people and killing really kind of sucks, but sucks it up and deals with it with a happy smile and a thick Jamaican accent. Smiles don't just make you happy, but your comrades, ja? And one of Cielo's defining traits, after his dreadlocks, jammin' Latin rhythm, and tendency to tease and cheer up his comrades in equal doses, is his loyalty to his comrades. And if you betray your comrades, and gloat about it to Cielo, he will fuck your shit up, despite his cheerful demeanor. And he might not be the strongest member of the group, but you try hitting an small, fast demon who can fly and see how much fun you have with it. (Warning: Really, do not attempt to hit a cannibal demon unless you have a secret desire to be eaten.) He also once escaped a prison by throwing a cat into the guard's face, and then stayed friends with the cat. In a game full of demonic cannibals who are mysteriously capable of devouring enemies that they cannot physically touch, this is the most shocking part. Really.
Sample Post:
'Ey! You dere! Can you tell me what dis place is? It sure don't look like Nirvana to me. Nirvana might have the same pretty blue sky, but I don't think Nirvana would smell like dis. And I don't think dat de people of Nirvana's flesh would be fallin' off like that, ja? You don't look so good, bro.
Sis! Sorry, sorry. It's kinda hard to tell, you know? -Ow! Did I say something wrong? No offence meant mon. I'm sure your fellow um "vitally challenged" comrades think you're pretty. Don't look so sad~ I'm just not used to girls with deir flesh falling off. I'm sure if I knew more vitally challenged girls like you, you'd be one of de prettiest ones~ Besides, as long as you have rhythm, you'll be fine, ja? I'll give you a hand and show show you, see? Like dis~ You should be having fun, and not worry so much about your looks. I'm sure your comrades would rather you be happy than sad. Cheer up~
Your comrades won't even stroke your pussy? Well, dat's not nice of dem at all. Sorry, but dey don't seem like very good comrades to me. Kitties are cute~ Dey make cute little mewin' noises and dey occasionally totally save your butt. What's not to like? I'd totally pet your pussy if you want me too, so don't worry so much about your comrades, ja? ...Dat's not a kitty-cat! 'Ey, why are you trying to put my hand dere? I don't think dat dat's, I mean, I'm sure you're a nice girl and all, but for some reason dat don't feel right? It feels like I should be hungry if I want to do dat with you. Dere's nothing like dis back in the Junkyard. Well, de teeth are probably dere, but usually de rest of dem don't look dat human when dey're teeth are dere. I think. ...Actually dat might explain a lot about de Titanias. I mean, dose- Eh? I'm babbling? Sorry, dis is just really weird to me. New, you know?
'Ey! Dat wasn't an invitation to try to bite my hand off. I said no, and when I said I'd give you a hand, I didn't mean to eat it. Sorry, little sis, but I've got my own life to live. You gotta bear your own karma, and not start snacking off bits of mine, ja? You don't want to make me have to make you.
Poll Vote!
Character: Argilla
Series: Digital Devil Saga (I and II)
Character Age: Appears 18-20.
Canon: If you take a woman who is tall, pink haired, and a master sniper, and infect her with something called an 'atma' that turns her into a cannibalistic demon, she's probably going to be damn pissed. In Digital Devil Saga, this is exactly what happens to Argilla, only with the added bonus of having only scattered memories of her life 'before' the gray-skied and barren Junkyard. In the Junkyard, she and the rest of the Embryon -- led by your super-silent playable hero, Serph -- fight, kill and eat anyone who gets in their way as they search out a path to Nirvana. Thanks to the 'atma' they are cursed with, each member gets a spiffy new demonic body with mouths in strange and usual places. Argilla's are in her breasts. No, really.
Despite a strong initial resistance to being a cannibal, Argilla decides to do whatever she must to survive, in order to eventually reach Nirvana and return to normal. Frequently bothered with existential angst, wondering as to the meaning of it all and feeling resentful of her lot in life, Argilla none-the-less is a bright personality when reality isn't getting her down. After all, stoic party members are for teasing, and someone has to be there with a warm smile and a pretty face when encountering new people on new worlds. Still, even with her compassionate nature and desire to talk things out, a woman who cheerfully talks about exploding her enemies can't exactly be considered a pacifist. When plan A: negotiating, falls though (as it tends to do in a world full of cannibals at war), plan B usually means moving immediately on to feeding you to her gnashing breasts.
Sample App:
This time... I was so sure there would finally be a blue sky.
Only, now that I get to see it, it's all wrong. There's no shimmering barrier in front of the sky. There's not supposed to be something trapping people in. Nirvana won't be the sort of place where they give you a weapon as soon as you arrive.
So, go ahead. Tell me. What is it this time? Who am I supposed to fight now? Where's the war in this place? Are these-- rotting corpses the new enemy? They aren't even demons, are they? Just... dead bodies, walking around. All of them looking for brains.
Not that they seem to know where brains are usually kept. I really didn't want to kill any of them without understanding the situation, but there's no way I was going to put up with being groped like that through the entire forest. That's why a lot of them are missing hands, now. Though... I'm starting to think it would have been a better idea to spit them back out instead of swallowing. Those creatures taste awful. One more finger and I think I'll be sick.
Ugh. I want to believe this place is at least a little closer to Nirvana, but how can I say when I finally see a forest full of growing plants, and then it turns out they've decided to start eating humans too? Isn't it all just getting... ridiculous? The only real difference between the trees here and the enemies in the Junkyard is for once I only had to reduce one of them to cinders before the others were convinced they were better off looking for their meal somewhere else. It's not much, but I'll consider it a step up from the usual negotiations.
That all leaves me... full, if a little queasy, and tired, but still in one piece. I guess I'm not doing too badly. Which just leaves what to do next. Hmmm, I'm all alone for once. If Serph were here, he'd... Oh, come on, like it would be anything else. He just go stare intently at the locals. Maybe even move his eyebrows a little, if they're lucky. Then, somehow, end up making allies without having to say a word. It's a nice idea, but I get the feeling that tactic wouldn't work so well for me. Old fashioned introductions it is.
Hello. I'm Argilla. I didn't mean to come here, but now that I am, I think... I want to find a normal life.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ike
Series: Fire Emblem:Path of Radiance
Character Age: 18-19
Canon: Fire Emblem has no plot. Fire Emblem needs no plot. Just gay. Oh fine. In Path of Radiance, Ike and his group of mercenaries fight fate and a man who thinks he's the next best thing to Darth Vader, to go put Princess Elincia on the throne of Crimea. And throw in an evil god in a medallion, cat-boys and of course, politics for that extra flair
Ike is the token hero in this game. And he has the token heroic aspects. Being more than a little dense about the way the world works and more about equality for all creature, Ike is righteous, blunt and yet soft-spoken when dealing with his friends and army. He does get unnerved when he is given more praise and attention for his exploits than he believes he deserves. He's also loyal to a fault. Ike will support any noble cause to the end. He's also a decent brother when he's not teasing his younger sister Mist.
Note - beorcs are another term for humans.
Sample Post:
Okay. Here goes nothing.
Hear me, Beorcs! Robo-cows! Toucans! And zombies! Yes, even you, the zombies. I'm not going to discriminate if you're missing one valuable body part...or two valuable body parts. I'm Ike of the Greil Mercenaries and I'm here to get you guys out of here, one way or another. I know that my position isn't quite as strong as I'd like it to be. Nor is that the kind of position I had in mind. Er. Thanks anyway? But, not to worry because I'm sure that the rest of the Greil Mercenaries will soon follow and we should get you out of this prison camp in no time. So, just hang on a little longer okay? ...but don't hang onto to that. Anything that looks like an underwear tree is probably unsanitary for your health and continued existence.
Till then, I guess the first thing I ought to teach you is how to work as a team. First off, those of you who seem to be missing a backbone, quite literally, you all need to bend over. You can be the cavalry and those of you with functional body limbs can be the infantry. Uh, no I don't think it's a good idea to ride them and you can't ride them like that. You're not even wearing the proper gear. If you're going to ride anything, at least bring a saddle of some sort and no, don't ever use whips. Also, you can't ride someone from the behind. Didn't anyone teach you the basics? It's sad to admit that even Mist knows better than to ride someone from the behind like that.
Okay, that's the best I can do for now. You all know how to fight somewhat and that's enough. Remember to keep a cool head...but leave it where it is, I'm sure the ventilation is just fine. Just, never mind. I'm with you men and when I give the order, we shall march to Camp Fuck U Die and liberate the campers. So, when I give the order, we will charge-
--in the opposite direction. At least they're enthusiastic.
Poll Vote!
Character: Arcueid Brunestud
Series: Tsukihime
Character Age: 800+ but appears to be 18 or 19
Canon: Tsukihime is the dark and moody story of Tohno Shiki and his discovery of the secrets of the world, including but not limited to the existence of vampires. Along the way, Shiki meets many people who are not what they seem at first, a high school student who is an executioner for the church, humans with demon blood and the main female protagonist, Arcueid Brunestud. Arcueid is a vampire known as a True Ancestor--types that are natural-born or created through magic. Created as a weapon, her job is to hunt fallen vampires.
Arcueid behaves in a naïve manner due to never being taught the ways of the world, told by her creators that her only duty was to hunt down and destroy fallen True Ancestors, those who gave into their vampiric urges and Dead Apostles, their victims. Over the years, she became quite skilled at this and thus, rarely loses, and when she does, it confuses her. It is because of this, as well as the fact that she works unseen or at least, unnoticed, that she knows almost nothing of normal interaction with the average person. While she has clinical knowledge of what emotions are, they confound her. She is often unsure of how to react or respond to her feelings for others, but she's slowly learning to deal with her emotions as she interacts more. On the contrary, when dealing with her targets, or obstacles, things that stand in the way of her completing her job, she becomes cold, almost cruel, and calculating.
Sample Post:
That's annoying. I come all this way to find a Dead Apostle and he beats me! Eeeh, this is stupid…wasn't even a fair fight either, came out of nowhere and hit me in the back of the…he singed my hair! Ooh, he'll pay for that!
Hmph, I still can't believe that both he and his minions are out during the day! I can only imagine how long he's been here considering the amount of Dead there are around. I come here and everywhere I look there're zombies! They have got to be his, all the information I have points to this area. Though, the zombies here are weird, they just fall apart when I hit them and that's not what usually happens. They're a lot slower than normal ones too! They look different too, there's this blue one out there that doesn't look remotely human and it keeps singing 'B is for brains--good enough for me!' It's enough trouble finding the Dead Apostle without having to deal with them too, they're really exhausting!
Okay, I was killing the zombies and when I finally looked up, I was in the middle of the forest. That's when I heard it, that laugh, that 'AH AH AH!' I looked up and there he was, the Dead Apostle. I know it was him, that short, pale faced vampire has got to be the Dead Apostle I'm hunting. Sheesh, can he be any worse, he makes vampires all over look bad! Don't even get me started on that cape and goatee, those combined with that accent? It makes me embarrassed for the both of us! I half expected him to pull out a wine glass with blood in it! Seriously! Talk about bad taste! He just stared at me with that grin on his face and then he said, 'One! One intruder! Ah Ah Ah!' Then there was a flash of lightning and everything went dark and when I woke up? He was gone.
He's a lot tougher than I thought! I mean, he controls lightning with just his voice! And he's able to make Dead out of things that aren't human! I've got to come up with a good strategy! Let's see…He's active during the day so maybe he sleeps at night? If that were true, then I could attack at night and be safe, I think. Though just attacking at night doesn't mean that his minions won't be protecting him.
He'll eventually come into the open if I kill enough of his minions, but I can't wait that long...I think forcing one of them should be good enough--he's already different enough that it's worth the attempt. … Hey. YOU. You are going to tell me where his lair is. Tell me how I can get to Sesame Street!
Poll Vote!
Character: Jiroubou
Series: Naruto
Character Age: 14. No rly.
Canon: Let's face it, the shounen tale of Naruto, a young ninja with a fondness for loud clothing trying to fulfill his dreams, wouldn't be half as much fun if it weren’t for the villains in equally loud clothing trying to dash those dreams. And those villains wouldn’t get anywhere without their trusty cannon fodder minions. Thus we have the body-snatching bad guy Orochimaru and his subordinates, including his personal bodyguards the Sound Four, badass delinquent barrier experts extraordinaire and Uchiha Sasuke’s escort down the road to Sound ninja-dom.
Out of a team like this, which relies on a lot of flash and attitude, Jiroubou of the South Gate has the sucky task of being the guy who has to talk common sense into his all-too-enthusiastic squadmates. Trying to get the rest of the Sound Four to calm down, behave themselves, and stop swearing has clearly taken its toll on both Jiroubou's methodology and his ability to keep his temper when the situation spins out of his control; when something really tries his patience, he'll hit below the belt verbally and emotionally, and if a fight gets beyond his ken, he’ll just hit. Hard. And with boulders. And chakra-draining earth prisons. He may be the "big one with the silly hair", but Jiroubou is a member of Orochimaru's elite for a good reason, and enemy ninja forget that at their peril.
Sample Post:
You know, I've tried to be polite, but the truth of the matter is this: I was sent on a supply run, and I intend to finish it, because unlike my teammates I am a responsible person. Do you hear included anywhere in that sentence "get shanghaied by a crowd of rotting morons in loud clothing and be delivered onto the set of something called 'Iron-Deficient Chef'"? No? And why do you think that is?
I also refuse to go up against a--man--who considers wearing a dead toucan on his head to be the height of chef's attire. No, not even if I disappoint your precious live studio audience...and if its lady members throw any more undergarments in my direction, I will take steps. I-the last one had the contents of the bra still in it! That's it, I've had it with you trash. Yeah, just try coming after me with those sushi knives-you can all rot in a nice earth dome prison. Allow me to demonstrate!
Hah. Not so clever when you're trapped like rats, hm? What, no answer? Heh, I knew it; you all act big, but when it's a matter of life and death? You show your true colors. Cowardly, weak, spineless...do I hear dance music in there? Just what are you doing?
Forget it, I don't want to know. I'm losing precious time hanging around here. Just for that, I'm keeping one of your bras! Not for me, you undead morons...now let me see about this list.
...it reads more like a recipe than a mission supply list. Maybe it's in some kind of code? "Take one (1) whole large long pork (roughly 210 lbs preferred) and clean." Long pork? I've never heard such nonsense. Hm... "Pluck trihawk and remove any foreign objects (clothing/tentpegs/ball gags/etc.)...Wrap pork in chicken wire lengthwise; if chicken wire is unavailable, tacky butt-bows will suffice..." I don’t believe this! "...coat with garlic powder, rosemary, salt, and pepper. Insert spit and cook 3 to 5 feet over bed of coals for 6 to 7 hours, turning frequently"?!
...no, absolutely not. And I'll have you know that spits do not go there, that is exit only.
Poll Vote!
Character: Genis Sage
Series: Tales of Symphonia
Character age: 12
Canon: Tales of Symphonia is a game about a group of people on a journey to (surprise) save the world. Of course, every hero on a Quest needs a best friend and sidekick: someone who'll listen to their problems and give them advice, try and keep them on the right track, and notice the things they miss. But more than that, a teenage hero also needs someone to make snarky comments at their expense to keep their ego under control, and that's exactly where Genis comes in.
Genis is, as his name very subtly implies, a child genius. It seems to run in the family, since he's also Professor Raine's little brother. He's a skilled elemental magic user along with being one of the best cooks in the party, and he's proud of it. Due to his slightly spoilerific past, he's somewhat cynical and mature for his age...except when he's getting excited over new things like any kid. He can also be a brat and a know-it-all, but he cares greatly about his friends and people in trouble and is willing to do anything to help them. None of this, however, stops him from occasionally making wise guy remarks (and then getting hit for them).
Sample Post:
When Raine said she had an assignment for me, I should have known it wouldn't be something easy. But I still can't believe she sent me on an "academic field study" in a giant swamp all by myself. And I have to stay out here five hours a day for a whole week! Talk about annoying; I don't see how this is going to help me build character. All I've begun to build is a tolerance toward itchy mosquito bites.
I've already made a few observations, but it isn't like there's much to look at here. All of the swamp mud is the same color, smell, and texture. It's probably the same taste as well, but there's no way I'm testing that hypothesis. The zombies are more interesting, but not by much. From what I've seen so far, they appear to be fairly social creatures. Their typical greeting seems to consist of chewing on each other's heads, with the amount of force used being directly proportional to the strength of the relationship. I'm not sure what the practice of bowling with each other's heads and limbs is meant to accomplish, however. Maybe it's a bonding activity of some sort; you know, playing a game and then working together to sort out each other's body parts afterward. It's pretty weird how losing an eye or more is supposed to be fun, but whatever works for them.
Man, this is so boring. The best thing I have to follow is a herd of cows. I guess they're pretty unique, since they look and generally behave just like normal cows, only I don't think they're made of flesh and blood. The lasers are kind of a tip off to that. I should probably try to obtain a skin sample to add to my notes, but theirs looks extremely hard and...polished? Whatever the material is, I don't think a regular sample's gonna be possible. Maybe I can use some food to lure one over and bring it back with me, though. Yeah, that should work!
Okay, here goes nothing. Heeeeey, you there, don't you want this tasty carrot? Come and get it...uh, I don't think I have enough for you and all of your buddies, so can you please stop looking at me like that and go back to what you were doing? --I'll take the stampeding as a no and I'll just be going now BYE.
...great, now I'm stuck in a tree. At least they can't get me here--what was that?
...observation: The trees are capable of independent movement. They also appear to be extremely tactile. I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW.
Poll Vote!
Character: Lloyd Irving
Series: Tales of Symphonia
Age: 17
Canon: Everyone knows how the story goes; a Chosen One is selected from the masses and begins a journey to save the world. Along that journey, he or she assembles a ragtag group of adventurers who have no idea what sort of a bumpy ride they're in for. Lloyd Irving, one of our main heroes in Tales of Symphonia, isn't that Chosen. Rather, he's the tag-along who more or less bustled his way into the party and refused to leave, which works out for the better when the journey turns out for the worst.
Despite the epic journey he takes part in, Lloyd stays the same mildly retarded (in the way that all teenage boys are mildly retarded) guy that he is at the start of the game. While he may be a little slow to catch onto things at times, his determination and head-strong attitude ensures that he'll eventually get it. As expected, Lloyd's not the top of the class when it comes to booksmarts, but thanks to his dwarven foster-dad, he's developed a knack for craftwork. That's not all his dad taught him; Lloyd's long led his life believing that honesty and goodness will always win. But perhaps Lloyd's greatest aspect is his capability to realize, and acknowledge, his own mistakes, which he makes plenty of due to his own tactlessness. It's this ability that makes him uniquely him and influences his idealistic views on life; he's a person who believes in equality among all people and everyone's right to live.
Sample Post:
... Sheesh, I know my memory's not that great and all, but I didn't think I'd forget about volunteering to teach classes. Though I think I should be worried about forgetting how I even ended up in this place. But I can take care of that later. It's gonna be pretty cool to teach my own class. Even if it is just wood carving, but hey, every teacher's gotta start with something. ... Wait a second, that's right. Teaching my own class means I'll be a real teacher! Heh heh, Professor Irving. Now that's got a ring to it.
All right! Professor Lloyd Irving's first ever wood carving class is now in session! ... W-Whoa, there's a lot more of you guys than I thought there'd be. And a lot less to each of you than I thought there'd be. Well, whatever, the more the merrier, right? I didn't really bring enough tools for everyone, so you guys are gonna have to share them. ... Uhh, I don't really suggest passing up on a knife and using your teeth instead, it'll probably hurt trying to pick the splinters out later.
Okay! Lesson 1, know your tools. Well, okay, tool. You don't really need anything more than a carving knife, see? The only important thing about this is that you use a real carving knife, not sure whatever sharp object you find lying around. Your sword's one of the last things you should use for a carving knife. ... Trust me on this one. Anyway, lesson 2, know your wood! ... Ha ha, very funny guys, at least let me finish explain before you start laughing. The wood is just as important as the tool; if you don't use the right ones, you're not going to end up with the kind of results you want. You've gotta try and get a piece of wood that's good and solid. Thick too, depending on what you're trying to make. Usually, I like to go with something bigger, because then you've got a lot of hard material that'll last you a long time and-- ugh, can't you guys stop laughing for two seconds?
Forget it, let's just move onto the interesting stuff. Hey, I can show you guys my own carving technique. Go ahead, name me something to carve and I'll do it. ... Uhh, a full-sized leg might take me a while to carve; something smaller would be better. Yeah, like fingers or noses or eyes, those could work. Hey, uh, is there some kind of pattern going on here? Don't tell me you're here just because you want to learn how to make wooden body parts. What are you gonna do, try to whittle a peg leg for yourself?
H-Hey, come on, knock it off! Look, I'm sorry for saying those things, I guess it was pretty rude of me, right? It doesn't really matter what you've got on the outside. I mean, having two legs so you can walk makes sense and all, but adding more than that is just too much. It doesn't make you any more of a person. Whether you've got two eyes, four eyes, or someone else's eyes, you're still you. That's all that matters, right?
... Heh, I guess that was pretty deep. Now I'm kinda embarrassed about this whole speech thing. Uh, so you guys have any suggestions? A group hug? Whoa, wait, stop that! P-Put the knife down first! We really don't need a group hu- GYAAAAGH!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Cielo
Series: Digital Devil Saga
Character Age: Physically an older teen
Canon: The Junkyard: a city of eternal war, fought by emotionless soldiers. The tribe that is victorious is promised Nirvana, but the tribes have reached a stalemate. Then there's a mysterious flash of light, a mysterious girl, and all of a sudden everyone's a cannibal demon. You have to admit, it's a creative way to end a stalemate. Along with their sudden desire to eat people comes other things, like emotions and personalities, and things get a little complicated. As for some reason, waking from being an emotionless killing machine into a cannibal demon with emotions doesn't always lead to the most well-adjusted people. Shocking, right?
Under the circumstances, Cielo's one of the more well-adjusted people around. He thinks all this eating people and killing really kind of sucks, but sucks it up and deals with it with a happy smile and a thick Jamaican accent. Smiles don't just make you happy, but your comrades, ja? And one of Cielo's defining traits, after his dreadlocks, jammin' Latin rhythm, and tendency to tease and cheer up his comrades in equal doses, is his loyalty to his comrades. And if you betray your comrades, and gloat about it to Cielo, he will fuck your shit up, despite his cheerful demeanor. And he might not be the strongest member of the group, but you try hitting an small, fast demon who can fly and see how much fun you have with it. (Warning: Really, do not attempt to hit a cannibal demon unless you have a secret desire to be eaten.) He also once escaped a prison by throwing a cat into the guard's face, and then stayed friends with the cat. In a game full of demonic cannibals who are mysteriously capable of devouring enemies that they cannot physically touch, this is the most shocking part. Really.
Sample Post:
'Ey! You dere! Can you tell me what dis place is? It sure don't look like Nirvana to me. Nirvana might have the same pretty blue sky, but I don't think Nirvana would smell like dis. And I don't think dat de people of Nirvana's flesh would be fallin' off like that, ja? You don't look so good, bro.
Sis! Sorry, sorry. It's kinda hard to tell, you know? -Ow! Did I say something wrong? No offence meant mon. I'm sure your fellow um "vitally challenged" comrades think you're pretty. Don't look so sad~ I'm just not used to girls with deir flesh falling off. I'm sure if I knew more vitally challenged girls like you, you'd be one of de prettiest ones~ Besides, as long as you have rhythm, you'll be fine, ja? I'll give you a hand and show show you, see? Like dis~ You should be having fun, and not worry so much about your looks. I'm sure your comrades would rather you be happy than sad. Cheer up~
Your comrades won't even stroke your pussy? Well, dat's not nice of dem at all. Sorry, but dey don't seem like very good comrades to me. Kitties are cute~ Dey make cute little mewin' noises and dey occasionally totally save your butt. What's not to like? I'd totally pet your pussy if you want me too, so don't worry so much about your comrades, ja? ...Dat's not a kitty-cat! 'Ey, why are you trying to put my hand dere? I don't think dat dat's, I mean, I'm sure you're a nice girl and all, but for some reason dat don't feel right? It feels like I should be hungry if I want to do dat with you. Dere's nothing like dis back in the Junkyard. Well, de teeth are probably dere, but usually de rest of dem don't look dat human when dey're teeth are dere. I think. ...Actually dat might explain a lot about de Titanias. I mean, dose- Eh? I'm babbling? Sorry, dis is just really weird to me. New, you know?
'Ey! Dat wasn't an invitation to try to bite my hand off. I said no, and when I said I'd give you a hand, I didn't mean to eat it. Sorry, little sis, but I've got my own life to live. You gotta bear your own karma, and not start snacking off bits of mine, ja? You don't want to make me have to make you.
Poll Vote!
Character: Argilla
Series: Digital Devil Saga (I and II)
Character Age: Appears 18-20.
Canon: If you take a woman who is tall, pink haired, and a master sniper, and infect her with something called an 'atma' that turns her into a cannibalistic demon, she's probably going to be damn pissed. In Digital Devil Saga, this is exactly what happens to Argilla, only with the added bonus of having only scattered memories of her life 'before' the gray-skied and barren Junkyard. In the Junkyard, she and the rest of the Embryon -- led by your super-silent playable hero, Serph -- fight, kill and eat anyone who gets in their way as they search out a path to Nirvana. Thanks to the 'atma' they are cursed with, each member gets a spiffy new demonic body with mouths in strange and usual places. Argilla's are in her breasts. No, really.
Despite a strong initial resistance to being a cannibal, Argilla decides to do whatever she must to survive, in order to eventually reach Nirvana and return to normal. Frequently bothered with existential angst, wondering as to the meaning of it all and feeling resentful of her lot in life, Argilla none-the-less is a bright personality when reality isn't getting her down. After all, stoic party members are for teasing, and someone has to be there with a warm smile and a pretty face when encountering new people on new worlds. Still, even with her compassionate nature and desire to talk things out, a woman who cheerfully talks about exploding her enemies can't exactly be considered a pacifist. When plan A: negotiating, falls though (as it tends to do in a world full of cannibals at war), plan B usually means moving immediately on to feeding you to her gnashing breasts.
Sample App:
This time... I was so sure there would finally be a blue sky.
Only, now that I get to see it, it's all wrong. There's no shimmering barrier in front of the sky. There's not supposed to be something trapping people in. Nirvana won't be the sort of place where they give you a weapon as soon as you arrive.
So, go ahead. Tell me. What is it this time? Who am I supposed to fight now? Where's the war in this place? Are these-- rotting corpses the new enemy? They aren't even demons, are they? Just... dead bodies, walking around. All of them looking for brains.
Not that they seem to know where brains are usually kept. I really didn't want to kill any of them without understanding the situation, but there's no way I was going to put up with being groped like that through the entire forest. That's why a lot of them are missing hands, now. Though... I'm starting to think it would have been a better idea to spit them back out instead of swallowing. Those creatures taste awful. One more finger and I think I'll be sick.
Ugh. I want to believe this place is at least a little closer to Nirvana, but how can I say when I finally see a forest full of growing plants, and then it turns out they've decided to start eating humans too? Isn't it all just getting... ridiculous? The only real difference between the trees here and the enemies in the Junkyard is for once I only had to reduce one of them to cinders before the others were convinced they were better off looking for their meal somewhere else. It's not much, but I'll consider it a step up from the usual negotiations.
That all leaves me... full, if a little queasy, and tired, but still in one piece. I guess I'm not doing too badly. Which just leaves what to do next. Hmmm, I'm all alone for once. If Serph were here, he'd... Oh, come on, like it would be anything else. He just go stare intently at the locals. Maybe even move his eyebrows a little, if they're lucky. Then, somehow, end up making allies without having to say a word. It's a nice idea, but I get the feeling that tactic wouldn't work so well for me. Old fashioned introductions it is.
Hello. I'm Argilla. I didn't mean to come here, but now that I am, I think... I want to find a normal life.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ike
Series: Fire Emblem:Path of Radiance
Character Age: 18-19
Canon: Fire Emblem has no plot. Fire Emblem needs no plot. Just gay. Oh fine. In Path of Radiance, Ike and his group of mercenaries fight fate and a man who thinks he's the next best thing to Darth Vader, to go put Princess Elincia on the throne of Crimea. And throw in an evil god in a medallion, cat-boys and of course, politics for that extra flair
Ike is the token hero in this game. And he has the token heroic aspects. Being more than a little dense about the way the world works and more about equality for all creature, Ike is righteous, blunt and yet soft-spoken when dealing with his friends and army. He does get unnerved when he is given more praise and attention for his exploits than he believes he deserves. He's also loyal to a fault. Ike will support any noble cause to the end. He's also a decent brother when he's not teasing his younger sister Mist.
Note - beorcs are another term for humans.
Sample Post:
Okay. Here goes nothing.
Hear me, Beorcs! Robo-cows! Toucans! And zombies! Yes, even you, the zombies. I'm not going to discriminate if you're missing one valuable body part...or two valuable body parts. I'm Ike of the Greil Mercenaries and I'm here to get you guys out of here, one way or another. I know that my position isn't quite as strong as I'd like it to be. Nor is that the kind of position I had in mind. Er. Thanks anyway? But, not to worry because I'm sure that the rest of the Greil Mercenaries will soon follow and we should get you out of this prison camp in no time. So, just hang on a little longer okay? ...but don't hang onto to that. Anything that looks like an underwear tree is probably unsanitary for your health and continued existence.
Till then, I guess the first thing I ought to teach you is how to work as a team. First off, those of you who seem to be missing a backbone, quite literally, you all need to bend over. You can be the cavalry and those of you with functional body limbs can be the infantry. Uh, no I don't think it's a good idea to ride them and you can't ride them like that. You're not even wearing the proper gear. If you're going to ride anything, at least bring a saddle of some sort and no, don't ever use whips. Also, you can't ride someone from the behind. Didn't anyone teach you the basics? It's sad to admit that even Mist knows better than to ride someone from the behind like that.
Okay, that's the best I can do for now. You all know how to fight somewhat and that's enough. Remember to keep a cool head...but leave it where it is, I'm sure the ventilation is just fine. Just, never mind. I'm with you men and when I give the order, we shall march to Camp Fuck U Die and liberate the campers. So, when I give the order, we will charge-
--in the opposite direction. At least they're enthusiastic.
Poll Vote!
Character: Arcueid Brunestud
Series: Tsukihime
Character Age: 800+ but appears to be 18 or 19
Canon: Tsukihime is the dark and moody story of Tohno Shiki and his discovery of the secrets of the world, including but not limited to the existence of vampires. Along the way, Shiki meets many people who are not what they seem at first, a high school student who is an executioner for the church, humans with demon blood and the main female protagonist, Arcueid Brunestud. Arcueid is a vampire known as a True Ancestor--types that are natural-born or created through magic. Created as a weapon, her job is to hunt fallen vampires.
Arcueid behaves in a naïve manner due to never being taught the ways of the world, told by her creators that her only duty was to hunt down and destroy fallen True Ancestors, those who gave into their vampiric urges and Dead Apostles, their victims. Over the years, she became quite skilled at this and thus, rarely loses, and when she does, it confuses her. It is because of this, as well as the fact that she works unseen or at least, unnoticed, that she knows almost nothing of normal interaction with the average person. While she has clinical knowledge of what emotions are, they confound her. She is often unsure of how to react or respond to her feelings for others, but she's slowly learning to deal with her emotions as she interacts more. On the contrary, when dealing with her targets, or obstacles, things that stand in the way of her completing her job, she becomes cold, almost cruel, and calculating.
Sample Post:
That's annoying. I come all this way to find a Dead Apostle and he beats me! Eeeh, this is stupid…wasn't even a fair fight either, came out of nowhere and hit me in the back of the…he singed my hair! Ooh, he'll pay for that!
Hmph, I still can't believe that both he and his minions are out during the day! I can only imagine how long he's been here considering the amount of Dead there are around. I come here and everywhere I look there're zombies! They have got to be his, all the information I have points to this area. Though, the zombies here are weird, they just fall apart when I hit them and that's not what usually happens. They're a lot slower than normal ones too! They look different too, there's this blue one out there that doesn't look remotely human and it keeps singing 'B is for brains--good enough for me!' It's enough trouble finding the Dead Apostle without having to deal with them too, they're really exhausting!
Okay, I was killing the zombies and when I finally looked up, I was in the middle of the forest. That's when I heard it, that laugh, that 'AH AH AH!' I looked up and there he was, the Dead Apostle. I know it was him, that short, pale faced vampire has got to be the Dead Apostle I'm hunting. Sheesh, can he be any worse, he makes vampires all over look bad! Don't even get me started on that cape and goatee, those combined with that accent? It makes me embarrassed for the both of us! I half expected him to pull out a wine glass with blood in it! Seriously! Talk about bad taste! He just stared at me with that grin on his face and then he said, 'One! One intruder! Ah Ah Ah!' Then there was a flash of lightning and everything went dark and when I woke up? He was gone.
He's a lot tougher than I thought! I mean, he controls lightning with just his voice! And he's able to make Dead out of things that aren't human! I've got to come up with a good strategy! Let's see…He's active during the day so maybe he sleeps at night? If that were true, then I could attack at night and be safe, I think. Though just attacking at night doesn't mean that his minions won't be protecting him.
He'll eventually come into the open if I kill enough of his minions, but I can't wait that long...I think forcing one of them should be good enough--he's already different enough that it's worth the attempt. … Hey. YOU. You are going to tell me where his lair is. Tell me how I can get to Sesame Street!
Poll Vote!
Character: Jiroubou
Series: Naruto
Character Age: 14. No rly.
Canon: Let's face it, the shounen tale of Naruto, a young ninja with a fondness for loud clothing trying to fulfill his dreams, wouldn't be half as much fun if it weren’t for the villains in equally loud clothing trying to dash those dreams. And those villains wouldn’t get anywhere without their trusty cannon fodder minions. Thus we have the body-snatching bad guy Orochimaru and his subordinates, including his personal bodyguards the Sound Four, badass delinquent barrier experts extraordinaire and Uchiha Sasuke’s escort down the road to Sound ninja-dom.
Out of a team like this, which relies on a lot of flash and attitude, Jiroubou of the South Gate has the sucky task of being the guy who has to talk common sense into his all-too-enthusiastic squadmates. Trying to get the rest of the Sound Four to calm down, behave themselves, and stop swearing has clearly taken its toll on both Jiroubou's methodology and his ability to keep his temper when the situation spins out of his control; when something really tries his patience, he'll hit below the belt verbally and emotionally, and if a fight gets beyond his ken, he’ll just hit. Hard. And with boulders. And chakra-draining earth prisons. He may be the "big one with the silly hair", but Jiroubou is a member of Orochimaru's elite for a good reason, and enemy ninja forget that at their peril.
Sample Post:
You know, I've tried to be polite, but the truth of the matter is this: I was sent on a supply run, and I intend to finish it, because unlike my teammates I am a responsible person. Do you hear included anywhere in that sentence "get shanghaied by a crowd of rotting morons in loud clothing and be delivered onto the set of something called 'Iron-Deficient Chef'"? No? And why do you think that is?
I also refuse to go up against a--man--who considers wearing a dead toucan on his head to be the height of chef's attire. No, not even if I disappoint your precious live studio audience...and if its lady members throw any more undergarments in my direction, I will take steps. I-the last one had the contents of the bra still in it! That's it, I've had it with you trash. Yeah, just try coming after me with those sushi knives-you can all rot in a nice earth dome prison. Allow me to demonstrate!
Hah. Not so clever when you're trapped like rats, hm? What, no answer? Heh, I knew it; you all act big, but when it's a matter of life and death? You show your true colors. Cowardly, weak, spineless...do I hear dance music in there? Just what are you doing?
Forget it, I don't want to know. I'm losing precious time hanging around here. Just for that, I'm keeping one of your bras! Not for me, you undead morons...now let me see about this list.
...it reads more like a recipe than a mission supply list. Maybe it's in some kind of code? "Take one (1) whole large long pork (roughly 210 lbs preferred) and clean." Long pork? I've never heard such nonsense. Hm... "Pluck trihawk and remove any foreign objects (clothing/tentpegs/ball gags/etc.)...Wrap pork in chicken wire lengthwise; if chicken wire is unavailable, tacky butt-bows will suffice..." I don’t believe this! "...coat with garlic powder, rosemary, salt, and pepper. Insert spit and cook 3 to 5 feet over bed of coals for 6 to 7 hours, turning frequently"?!
...no, absolutely not. And I'll have you know that spits do not go there, that is exit only.
Poll Vote!
Character: Genis Sage
Series: Tales of Symphonia
Character age: 12
Canon: Tales of Symphonia is a game about a group of people on a journey to (surprise) save the world. Of course, every hero on a Quest needs a best friend and sidekick: someone who'll listen to their problems and give them advice, try and keep them on the right track, and notice the things they miss. But more than that, a teenage hero also needs someone to make snarky comments at their expense to keep their ego under control, and that's exactly where Genis comes in.
Genis is, as his name very subtly implies, a child genius. It seems to run in the family, since he's also Professor Raine's little brother. He's a skilled elemental magic user along with being one of the best cooks in the party, and he's proud of it. Due to his slightly spoilerific past, he's somewhat cynical and mature for his age...except when he's getting excited over new things like any kid. He can also be a brat and a know-it-all, but he cares greatly about his friends and people in trouble and is willing to do anything to help them. None of this, however, stops him from occasionally making wise guy remarks (and then getting hit for them).
Sample Post:
When Raine said she had an assignment for me, I should have known it wouldn't be something easy. But I still can't believe she sent me on an "academic field study" in a giant swamp all by myself. And I have to stay out here five hours a day for a whole week! Talk about annoying; I don't see how this is going to help me build character. All I've begun to build is a tolerance toward itchy mosquito bites.
I've already made a few observations, but it isn't like there's much to look at here. All of the swamp mud is the same color, smell, and texture. It's probably the same taste as well, but there's no way I'm testing that hypothesis. The zombies are more interesting, but not by much. From what I've seen so far, they appear to be fairly social creatures. Their typical greeting seems to consist of chewing on each other's heads, with the amount of force used being directly proportional to the strength of the relationship. I'm not sure what the practice of bowling with each other's heads and limbs is meant to accomplish, however. Maybe it's a bonding activity of some sort; you know, playing a game and then working together to sort out each other's body parts afterward. It's pretty weird how losing an eye or more is supposed to be fun, but whatever works for them.
Man, this is so boring. The best thing I have to follow is a herd of cows. I guess they're pretty unique, since they look and generally behave just like normal cows, only I don't think they're made of flesh and blood. The lasers are kind of a tip off to that. I should probably try to obtain a skin sample to add to my notes, but theirs looks extremely hard and...polished? Whatever the material is, I don't think a regular sample's gonna be possible. Maybe I can use some food to lure one over and bring it back with me, though. Yeah, that should work!
Okay, here goes nothing. Heeeeey, you there, don't you want this tasty carrot? Come and get it...uh, I don't think I have enough for you and all of your buddies, so can you please stop looking at me like that and go back to what you were doing? --I'll take the stampeding as a no and I'll just be going now BYE.
...great, now I'm stuck in a tree. At least they can't get me here--what was that?
...observation: The trees are capable of independent movement. They also appear to be extremely tactile. I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW.
Poll Vote!
Character: Lloyd Irving
Series: Tales of Symphonia
Age: 17
Canon: Everyone knows how the story goes; a Chosen One is selected from the masses and begins a journey to save the world. Along that journey, he or she assembles a ragtag group of adventurers who have no idea what sort of a bumpy ride they're in for. Lloyd Irving, one of our main heroes in Tales of Symphonia, isn't that Chosen. Rather, he's the tag-along who more or less bustled his way into the party and refused to leave, which works out for the better when the journey turns out for the worst.
Despite the epic journey he takes part in, Lloyd stays the same mildly retarded (in the way that all teenage boys are mildly retarded) guy that he is at the start of the game. While he may be a little slow to catch onto things at times, his determination and head-strong attitude ensures that he'll eventually get it. As expected, Lloyd's not the top of the class when it comes to booksmarts, but thanks to his dwarven foster-dad, he's developed a knack for craftwork. That's not all his dad taught him; Lloyd's long led his life believing that honesty and goodness will always win. But perhaps Lloyd's greatest aspect is his capability to realize, and acknowledge, his own mistakes, which he makes plenty of due to his own tactlessness. It's this ability that makes him uniquely him and influences his idealistic views on life; he's a person who believes in equality among all people and everyone's right to live.
Sample Post:
... Sheesh, I know my memory's not that great and all, but I didn't think I'd forget about volunteering to teach classes. Though I think I should be worried about forgetting how I even ended up in this place. But I can take care of that later. It's gonna be pretty cool to teach my own class. Even if it is just wood carving, but hey, every teacher's gotta start with something. ... Wait a second, that's right. Teaching my own class means I'll be a real teacher! Heh heh, Professor Irving. Now that's got a ring to it.
All right! Professor Lloyd Irving's first ever wood carving class is now in session! ... W-Whoa, there's a lot more of you guys than I thought there'd be. And a lot less to each of you than I thought there'd be. Well, whatever, the more the merrier, right? I didn't really bring enough tools for everyone, so you guys are gonna have to share them. ... Uhh, I don't really suggest passing up on a knife and using your teeth instead, it'll probably hurt trying to pick the splinters out later.
Okay! Lesson 1, know your tools. Well, okay, tool. You don't really need anything more than a carving knife, see? The only important thing about this is that you use a real carving knife, not sure whatever sharp object you find lying around. Your sword's one of the last things you should use for a carving knife. ... Trust me on this one. Anyway, lesson 2, know your wood! ... Ha ha, very funny guys, at least let me finish explain before you start laughing. The wood is just as important as the tool; if you don't use the right ones, you're not going to end up with the kind of results you want. You've gotta try and get a piece of wood that's good and solid. Thick too, depending on what you're trying to make. Usually, I like to go with something bigger, because then you've got a lot of hard material that'll last you a long time and-- ugh, can't you guys stop laughing for two seconds?
Forget it, let's just move onto the interesting stuff. Hey, I can show you guys my own carving technique. Go ahead, name me something to carve and I'll do it. ... Uhh, a full-sized leg might take me a while to carve; something smaller would be better. Yeah, like fingers or noses or eyes, those could work. Hey, uh, is there some kind of pattern going on here? Don't tell me you're here just because you want to learn how to make wooden body parts. What are you gonna do, try to whittle a peg leg for yourself?
H-Hey, come on, knock it off! Look, I'm sorry for saying those things, I guess it was pretty rude of me, right? It doesn't really matter what you've got on the outside. I mean, having two legs so you can walk makes sense and all, but adding more than that is just too much. It doesn't make you any more of a person. Whether you've got two eyes, four eyes, or someone else's eyes, you're still you. That's all that matters, right?
... Heh, I guess that was pretty deep. Now I'm kinda embarrassed about this whole speech thing. Uh, so you guys have any suggestions? A group hug? Whoa, wait, stop that! P-Put the knife down first! We really don't need a group hu- GYAAAAGH!
Poll Vote!