(no subject)
Hey chickens!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
- TYRANNOSAURUS!
Now VOTE. That works! Cloooosed.
Character: Mercedes Jones
Series: Glee
Character Age: Sixteen.
Canon: Say hello to McKinley High, an American high school situated in Lima, Ohio where the social ladder is directly proportional to how many slushies you take to the face. And Glee club? It's in the sub-basement filled with a dozen jocks waiting to destroy your McQueen sweater and ruin your new weave. But that's okay, because this band of misfits (aka "New Directions") are going to rule the school with their all-singing, all-dancing Show Choir spirit. Sure, they still have to lick iced goods off their face and wash off the stink from being tossed into dumpsters, but when they take home Nationals no one will be laughing. And Mercedes Jones is going to wail the last note that wins it for them.
In Glee's List of Stereotypes, Mercedes fits into the token sassy, black girl niche. It's true, she has a flawless, gives-you-chills voice and a phenomenal range, and her chocolate curves could probably cause a sex riot, but she ain't no Kelly Rowland. She won't be seen swaying in the background like some chorus member. This girl is a self-proclaimed diva with attitude and presence. She's dramatic, self-assured and mildly temperamental, and she's certainly not afraid to let you know what she thinks of you. This confidence (and heart, but confidence!) even lands her a spot on the Cheerios, McKinley High's cheerleading squad, with friend Kurt Hummel. And you know what? They totally bring the house down. Bravo, anyone? But Mercedes isn't all vocal runs and snappy comebacks; she has a big voice with an even bigger heart, and at the end of the day she isn't afraid to step out of the spotlight for the Good Of The Team or open her home to pregnant friends in need. Move over, Beyoncé. Mercedes Jones is in the house, and she's probably a better friend than you.
Sample Post:
Is this some kind of joke? Who the hell are-- oh, real funny. Brains? That's what you're going with? Fine, Brains, you better tell me what the hell is going on before I start a riot, because I am not down with this not knowing where I am nonsense. I didn't even know places like this existed in Lima. And what kind of a name is C-FUD? Did they miss the part where the world already has a terrible D-list rapper with a ridiculous name? Because they do: Kevin Federline. In case that reference is lost on you, his stage name's K-Fed. I know, with a name like that it's no wonder his career and love life were a bust. What a train wreck.
No one's seriously gonna tell me what these letters stand for? Oh my god, stop with the brains, it was cute for about five... Wait. Oh. You're our competition for Nationals. Wow. And those are your costumes? Really? Suddenly I feel a lot better about our chances at winning. Okay, look, usually I don't go throwing around advice to the competition, but I just got a confidence boost and you need all the help you can get. One, that dress looks like something you got dumpster diving in the donation bin outside of Goodwill. Were you homeless before you died? Glam it up, girl. Two, not only is not wearing shoes gross, your toenails are seriously yellow, and you only have one foot. What are you trying to do, scoop up the sympathy votes? Come on, that's just sad. Three, you've got the harmonies down, but you sound half dead. I get that you're trying the whole Thriller angle, but MJ had chops. D'you think the judges are gonna be impressed by you dragging your feet? Please.
And where exactly are you guys supposed to be from? The wrong side of Westerville? Because I don't think I remember signing up to spy on the competition and I'd like to know where I am before I start dropping all this awesome advice and-- whoa, okay. You? Do not touch me. I can understand wanting all up on this, but you're embarrassing yourself and you reek. Ever hear of Old Spice? 'Cause you should invest in some, stat. You know, Old Spice: The Man Your Man Could Smell Like. You're not honestly gonna stand there and tell me you don't know what I'm talking about? Where have you been for the last decade? That ad won a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Commercial. Look, my point is that you're in serious need of some cologne or something to cover that smell. It's like something crawled down your throat and died.
Don't get pissy at me, you should be happy someone's telling you like it is! Hey, back off. Back off. Touch me again and I will cut you. Oh, you did not just spit at me. Jazz hands only work for people with hands!
You know what? Word to the wise, white boy -- zombie makeup has been done. And when I say done, I mean dragged across the ground and stamped on done. Unless you've got some maximum security prison mates in y'alls pockets, you ain't impressing no one. Mercedes out.
Poll Vote!
Character: Benio Shinada
Series: Star Driver: Takuto of the Radiance
Character Age: 16
Canon: Welcome to Southern Cross Island, a paradise where young people can enjoy their dazzling youth! If you’re staying in the dorms at Southern Cross High, you’ll run into Benio Shinada, the pint-sized residential assistant and kendo club captain. Mercurial Benio is alternately energetic, teasing, and cutesy or short-fused, fiery, and comically terrifying. Though she’s strongly assertive and is bossy about drumming school rules (and the crazy made-up punishments that only she follows) into her residents, she’s still super determined to give them a fabulous school year!
But if you disobey her order to avoid the abandoned gold mine, you’ll see another side of Southern Cross: the Holy Order of the Glittering Crux, a group dedicated to restoring ancient ruins called “Cybodies.” In these caverns, Benio dons a mask and seriouses the hell up into “Scarlet Kiss,” the rash, daring, irritable leader of the Crux’s fifth division who flirts with, manipulates, and uses men to achieve her goals. But just as she hides her vicious and scheming side from Southern Cross’s student body, she’s also hiding something from the other Crux leaders: for Benio, the Crux isn’t just about Cybody restoration, but about her sentimental and romantic desires to return her family’s honor and to become worthy of her childhood love.
Sample Post:
Attentiooooon campers! ‘Cause those lazy counselors aren’t enforcing the rules, your gorgeous new RA, Benio Shinada, is here to set you straight - Hey, peanut gallery, what was funny about that? “Gorgeous”? “Rules”? “Straight”? I’m one-hundred percent serious! Young people and their overflowing libidos need strict rules, especially running around a place called “Camp Fuck You Die.” So listen up and follow along on the whiteboard!
From now on, breakfast is at six sharp, no complaints allowed. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and pulling everyone up early is key to stopping guys and girls from staying up all night touching this to that and that to this and acting on wild youthful impulses in the dark! Since the gorillas gave up on dragging people to the mess, I’m gonna hand out a tougher punishment: all latecomers will run from one end of the barrier to the other wearing only their pajamas! Serial offenders run the volcano in underwear with hungry cows bringing up the rear! If that doesn’t wake you up, nothing will. Second up, cabins. Boys in the boys’ cabins, girls in the girls’ cabins, zero exceptions. Anyone sneaking around gets the Benio Shinada Summer Camp Special Penalty: one-hundred pull-ups in your swimsuit in the grain silo, and if Marcy takes your swimsuit off, you’ve gotta start all over again. Keep it in mind the next time a super-cool guy asks you back to his cabin to pet his moogle! Last but not least, brain eating.
Oi, kids, do you really need a rule about this? Your cute RA is here to make sure you have fun, but I can’t help if you get your face beat in for mindmunching, ‘kay? So let’s all play nice and lay off the cannibalism!
Thanks for listening, everyone! I already know we’ll get along great together! And remember, if you have any problems, you can come talk to your friendly RA. Bye-bye for now…!
… tch. God, those brats are obnoxious. It’s all is “brains” this and “brains” that, gorillas checking out my ass, and not a single guy worth hitting on! Listen up, Director. You’ve got me stuck here with these idiots for now, but there’s no way I’m gonna let a dishonor like this stand. Watch your back - no, watch your fiancée. Stealing him from a hag like you would be delicious revenge. It just takes some kissy kissy~ and a cute smile some night in the guys’ cabins…
Hey, old lady, isn’t it lucky I brought my swimsuit?
Poll Vote!
Character: Ozu Satoshi
Series: Clone Baby
Age: 19
Canon: Clone Baby is a science-fiction drama about a series of murder cases whose victims were all born on Tanabata, July 7th. The targeted 19-year-olds turn out to be clones, created by the organization AGEC solely for the sake of sustaining the Master Clone, a girl who is suffering from multiple organ failure. It is called the Asterisk Project. Throughout the series, each clone goes a long way before finding out who they really are and where they come from - and when they meet each other, the urge to kill one another is not far. It's the Law of Providence that draws them together like magnets, but when they get too close, they clash. It's a battle royale of clones, playing a self-proclaimed game of musical chairs where only one of them can survive.
One of these clones is the stubborn former baseball champion Ozu Satoshi. He retired from the game after losing a final match due to a bad shoulder. The only possible transplant that would help him is a twin with identical genes; sadly, he believed that he was an only child. Being judged for a single failure after many victories embittered him. These days he is a frustrated young man, withdrawn from society, who has joined a gang of underground bullies. He is angry, albeit not as cruel as he would like to believe. As long as he is being cynical, he appears level-headed, but Ozu regains hope to get his old life back when he hears that there are clones of himself. He trusts AGEC blindly, despite being told that they don't even view him as a real human being. Knowing that it is his only chance, he doesn't want to hear about the rest.
Spoilers: [ He is contacted by AGEC with the offer of a transplant from one of his clones, but he cannot meet their condition: Killing a scientist who knows too much. They take him in anyway, and without his consent remove his lung for the Master Clone, leaving him with an artificial lung-- and the knowledge that his allergies will force his body to reject the organ, leading to his death.]
Sample:
Alright, that's it. I have had it already with the dirty baseball jokes from those fucking breakfast cereal birds who can't keep their traps shut! Like it's not enough that I was dumped here drenched in my own blood, no, when I finally found the showers I was doused in some more. Ugh, don't even tell me where that goop came from. I don't want to know. Guess I'm just going to continue to run around like I'm a gorey part of this B-movie horror scenery until you candid camera-style assholes are satisfied. But if you want to take some crit from a guy, maybe you should invest in better actors for the zombies before you cash out on enough CGI to holograph up an over-sized tentacle monster. Newsflash: Kids stop being scared by that shit at age seven.
Oh, so you're supposed to be a lady squid. You're lucky I'm not the tasteless kind of bastard who's going to make any lame Octopussy jokes here. I don't even know what the Hell I'm doing talking to the movie props, anyway, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore if I go insane or not. People sure are going to have a lot to yap about when you broadcast this... ! When I look at the situation, I feel like I was probably better off when everyone stopped caring. Now watch me do that to you instead. I’ll just sit right down over here and pitch some stones at Miss Holograph.
- oi, mitts off! Swear to God, if it turns out you're a 4D calamari who can actually touch me, I'm out of here. I am pretty damn sure this sort of crap is something you need my sign on a contract for. Tentacle porn? How fucked up is this? Not every Japanese dude is into that, you assholes. … What's with that dejected look? You're not even supposed to be able to make faces, it's creepy! Don’t sulk. Look, I’ll bet whatever you’re about to do is just going to take my breath away and I know this is a really typical excuse, but I've had surgery recently and that sloppy damn stitching hasn't healed yet. It's not you, it's me. So, love to get to fourth base and all, but unless you're into bloodplay on top of everything else, and I sure know I am not - no.
Poll Vote!
Character: Jessica Hamby
Series: True Blood
Age: 18 (turned less than a year ago, so no physical discrepancy)
Canon:
Welcome to Bon Temps, Louisiana, your regular small town with your regular small town people. This is including one Sookie Stackhouse, a young woman with the unusual ability of being able to read minds, something that renders her an outcast. Sookie’s life - and that of the whole town - changes completely with the arrival of vampire Bill Compton in their midst, something that has not happened at all since vampires ‘came out of the coffin’ a few years previously. That is to say, with the development of artificial blood by a Japanese company, vampires exposed themselves to the world at large, citing the new development as having made them ‘safe’ to humans. Now, as Sookie gets closer to Bill and begins to enter his world, it turns out that Bon Temps has a lot more of the supernatural going for it than she could ever have imagined.
Jessica is a ‘baby’ vampire, turned by Bill Compton as part of his punishment for killing another vampire. She was sired by him, and now lives with him in Bon Temps, learning how to be a proper vampire - and since she’s being taught by Bill, that means ‘mainstreaming’ just like him. A vampire trying to mainstream lives within the laws of human society; she can feed on humans with permission, but lives mainly on artificial blood and may even find a job, as Jessica has. Jessica was brought up in a strict, smothering family, bordering on abusive, and becoming a vampire gives her the escape from that life she’s always craved, even if there are various unwritten rules to follow. She’s a typical teenager - petulant and sardonic, reckless, self-centred and blunt to a fault. Even though she has a much softer, much more human side, she still has the killer instincts of a vampire and has even killed since. She may enjoy being a vampire, but deep down she’s scared of it, what she’s capable of and all she doesn’t know about it. She can even get downright angry about how difficult it can make things for her in a lot of ways.
(Note: Jessica’s blog on the official HBO website is written with the accent, so I’m going with that.)
Sample:
Oh, come on. I get it - the whole zombie thing isn’t a walk in the park. You gotta walk with this kind of stumble, you got some parts fallin’ off of you and you live on brains. I mean, I’ve been watchin’ you guys shambling about around here and it isn’t pretty. I’d lose my breakfast if I ate breakfast anymore. Can vampires even throw up? Add that to the list of things I still don’t know. But you’ve got it so much better than you think. At least you can go out during the day! Do you even realise how much of most people’s social lives goes on while the sun’s up? I get to spend my days in a fuckin’ cubbyhole under the stairs or I light up like the fourth of July. Then when I come out, I may as well have a neon sign over my head screamin’ ‘Hello, my name is Bloodsucking Demon’. And then everyone hates you.
But not zombies, everyone loves zombies. With all the movies and the video games - the ones Bill won’t let me play because his borin’ ass is too busy playin’ Wii Golf - there’s a lot of dumbasses out there who think the zombie apocalypse would be like goin’ to Disney World. All we did was exist and now every redneck this side of New Orleans either wants to put a bullet in our faces or bring us home and snort our blood. And at least you guys can just walk straight into a mortal’s home, by the way. We have to wait outside until someone lets us in, like a dog that just pissed on the carpet. You’ve even got this big, wide… boxed in summer camp to wander free in like a big dead wildlife reserve. You guys don’t even care!
And… and you know, at least you don’t have some kind of moral dilemma goin’ on. To you, it’s just ‘brains’, ‘brains’ and ‘braaaains’. You don’t have to worry about how the religion you spent your whole life steepin' in thinks you’re an abomination goin’ straight to hell in a handbasket, and what your family and friends are doin’ right now and what they’d think of you if they could see you feasting on the brains of the living. I guess because all your family are right here feastin’ with you. You’ve all got each other. All together. With brains.
And now I’m here too. And I’m all alone. If I’d just been infected by the frickin’ T-Virus and bitten them all, we wouldn’t be havin’ these problems. I’d be with my family, they wouldn’t suck as hard and we’d be kind of happy, too. I don’t know what you guys are complainin’ about.
Although you know, at least even around here I can take a shower once in a while.
Poll Vote!
Character: Riku Replica
Series: Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories
Character Age: Looks 15, actually about a week old
Canon: In his first adventure, Sora, the boy with the giant key--the ‘Keyblade’--went around the universe to save all of the Disney worlds from eternal darkness and find his best friends Riku and Kairi.
Chain of Memories is the sequel to that adventure, introducing players to the horror that is the card-battling system and making Sora revisit all the worlds he saved before, this time inside a giant creepy white castle. To complicate matters, the castle’s resident mad scientist has cloned one of Sora’s friends and set the clone loose in the castle.
This clone is the Riku Replica. He’s pretty arrogant and aggressive, unafraid to get in people’s faces and taunt them, and confident in his abilities--especially manipulation of darkness, which he taunts Riku for being ‘afraid’ of. However, underneath the confident mask, he’s actually very insecure about himself, and very desperately wants to become a ‘real’ person. This desperation drives him to compete with everyone in an attempt to prove he’s worth something, and might also be why he tends to spaz when he gets particularly irritated or confused.
Sample Post:
What’s up with this place, Real Thing? You told me that when I died, my heart would probably go to the same place as yours did, but this wasn’t what I was thinking of at all. I was thinking maybe eternal darkness--I dunno, something that makes sense. A farm doesn’t make sense. But if I’m here, does that mean that you’re here, too? I hope you are, because you owe me a rematch, and next time, I’ll be the winner. You can count on that.
Tch...I could do without all the undead creatures, too. Seriously, what is this place? I was manhandled more than enough before I got here, and the ones back at the castle at least had the decency not to drool all over me, so hands off if you want to keep them. I don’t care how much you want brains, you’re NOT getting any of mine. No, not even if you manage to beat me in a fight...not that that’s going to happen. You’ll still need a lot more than brains to win against me anyway. Half of you don’t even have the right number of limbs to fight with. One blast of darkness could probably take every single one of you down right away, but I’m not interested in opponents that are falling apart to begin with.
...What do you mean I’m being hypocritical? Who are you to tell me...tch, I don’t take advice from birds. I’m not ‘falling apart’! I know I’m not real, you don’t have to go and rub it in! Go annoy someone else for a change! Or do something useful.
Breaking into song doesn’t count.
...No, I DON’T want to sing along with you!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
- TYRANNOSAURUS!
Now VOTE. That works! Cloooosed.
Character: Mercedes Jones
Series: Glee
Character Age: Sixteen.
Canon: Say hello to McKinley High, an American high school situated in Lima, Ohio where the social ladder is directly proportional to how many slushies you take to the face. And Glee club? It's in the sub-basement filled with a dozen jocks waiting to destroy your McQueen sweater and ruin your new weave. But that's okay, because this band of misfits (aka "New Directions") are going to rule the school with their all-singing, all-dancing Show Choir spirit. Sure, they still have to lick iced goods off their face and wash off the stink from being tossed into dumpsters, but when they take home Nationals no one will be laughing. And Mercedes Jones is going to wail the last note that wins it for them.
In Glee's List of Stereotypes, Mercedes fits into the token sassy, black girl niche. It's true, she has a flawless, gives-you-chills voice and a phenomenal range, and her chocolate curves could probably cause a sex riot, but she ain't no Kelly Rowland. She won't be seen swaying in the background like some chorus member. This girl is a self-proclaimed diva with attitude and presence. She's dramatic, self-assured and mildly temperamental, and she's certainly not afraid to let you know what she thinks of you. This confidence (and heart, but confidence!) even lands her a spot on the Cheerios, McKinley High's cheerleading squad, with friend Kurt Hummel. And you know what? They totally bring the house down. Bravo, anyone? But Mercedes isn't all vocal runs and snappy comebacks; she has a big voice with an even bigger heart, and at the end of the day she isn't afraid to step out of the spotlight for the Good Of The Team or open her home to pregnant friends in need. Move over, Beyoncé. Mercedes Jones is in the house, and she's probably a better friend than you.
Sample Post:
Is this some kind of joke? Who the hell are-- oh, real funny. Brains? That's what you're going with? Fine, Brains, you better tell me what the hell is going on before I start a riot, because I am not down with this not knowing where I am nonsense. I didn't even know places like this existed in Lima. And what kind of a name is C-FUD? Did they miss the part where the world already has a terrible D-list rapper with a ridiculous name? Because they do: Kevin Federline. In case that reference is lost on you, his stage name's K-Fed. I know, with a name like that it's no wonder his career and love life were a bust. What a train wreck.
No one's seriously gonna tell me what these letters stand for? Oh my god, stop with the brains, it was cute for about five... Wait. Oh. You're our competition for Nationals. Wow. And those are your costumes? Really? Suddenly I feel a lot better about our chances at winning. Okay, look, usually I don't go throwing around advice to the competition, but I just got a confidence boost and you need all the help you can get. One, that dress looks like something you got dumpster diving in the donation bin outside of Goodwill. Were you homeless before you died? Glam it up, girl. Two, not only is not wearing shoes gross, your toenails are seriously yellow, and you only have one foot. What are you trying to do, scoop up the sympathy votes? Come on, that's just sad. Three, you've got the harmonies down, but you sound half dead. I get that you're trying the whole Thriller angle, but MJ had chops. D'you think the judges are gonna be impressed by you dragging your feet? Please.
And where exactly are you guys supposed to be from? The wrong side of Westerville? Because I don't think I remember signing up to spy on the competition and I'd like to know where I am before I start dropping all this awesome advice and-- whoa, okay. You? Do not touch me. I can understand wanting all up on this, but you're embarrassing yourself and you reek. Ever hear of Old Spice? 'Cause you should invest in some, stat. You know, Old Spice: The Man Your Man Could Smell Like. You're not honestly gonna stand there and tell me you don't know what I'm talking about? Where have you been for the last decade? That ad won a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Commercial. Look, my point is that you're in serious need of some cologne or something to cover that smell. It's like something crawled down your throat and died.
Don't get pissy at me, you should be happy someone's telling you like it is! Hey, back off. Back off. Touch me again and I will cut you. Oh, you did not just spit at me. Jazz hands only work for people with hands!
You know what? Word to the wise, white boy -- zombie makeup has been done. And when I say done, I mean dragged across the ground and stamped on done. Unless you've got some maximum security prison mates in y'alls pockets, you ain't impressing no one. Mercedes out.
Poll Vote!
Character: Benio Shinada
Series: Star Driver: Takuto of the Radiance
Character Age: 16
Canon: Welcome to Southern Cross Island, a paradise where young people can enjoy their dazzling youth! If you’re staying in the dorms at Southern Cross High, you’ll run into Benio Shinada, the pint-sized residential assistant and kendo club captain. Mercurial Benio is alternately energetic, teasing, and cutesy or short-fused, fiery, and comically terrifying. Though she’s strongly assertive and is bossy about drumming school rules (and the crazy made-up punishments that only she follows) into her residents, she’s still super determined to give them a fabulous school year!
But if you disobey her order to avoid the abandoned gold mine, you’ll see another side of Southern Cross: the Holy Order of the Glittering Crux, a group dedicated to restoring ancient ruins called “Cybodies.” In these caverns, Benio dons a mask and seriouses the hell up into “Scarlet Kiss,” the rash, daring, irritable leader of the Crux’s fifth division who flirts with, manipulates, and uses men to achieve her goals. But just as she hides her vicious and scheming side from Southern Cross’s student body, she’s also hiding something from the other Crux leaders: for Benio, the Crux isn’t just about Cybody restoration, but about her sentimental and romantic desires to return her family’s honor and to become worthy of her childhood love.
Sample Post:
Attentiooooon campers! ‘Cause those lazy counselors aren’t enforcing the rules, your gorgeous new RA, Benio Shinada, is here to set you straight - Hey, peanut gallery, what was funny about that? “Gorgeous”? “Rules”? “Straight”? I’m one-hundred percent serious! Young people and their overflowing libidos need strict rules, especially running around a place called “Camp Fuck You Die.” So listen up and follow along on the whiteboard!
From now on, breakfast is at six sharp, no complaints allowed. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and pulling everyone up early is key to stopping guys and girls from staying up all night touching this to that and that to this and acting on wild youthful impulses in the dark! Since the gorillas gave up on dragging people to the mess, I’m gonna hand out a tougher punishment: all latecomers will run from one end of the barrier to the other wearing only their pajamas! Serial offenders run the volcano in underwear with hungry cows bringing up the rear! If that doesn’t wake you up, nothing will. Second up, cabins. Boys in the boys’ cabins, girls in the girls’ cabins, zero exceptions. Anyone sneaking around gets the Benio Shinada Summer Camp Special Penalty: one-hundred pull-ups in your swimsuit in the grain silo, and if Marcy takes your swimsuit off, you’ve gotta start all over again. Keep it in mind the next time a super-cool guy asks you back to his cabin to pet his moogle! Last but not least, brain eating.
Oi, kids, do you really need a rule about this? Your cute RA is here to make sure you have fun, but I can’t help if you get your face beat in for mindmunching, ‘kay? So let’s all play nice and lay off the cannibalism!
Thanks for listening, everyone! I already know we’ll get along great together! And remember, if you have any problems, you can come talk to your friendly RA. Bye-bye for now…!
… tch. God, those brats are obnoxious. It’s all is “brains” this and “brains” that, gorillas checking out my ass, and not a single guy worth hitting on! Listen up, Director. You’ve got me stuck here with these idiots for now, but there’s no way I’m gonna let a dishonor like this stand. Watch your back - no, watch your fiancée. Stealing him from a hag like you would be delicious revenge. It just takes some kissy kissy~ and a cute smile some night in the guys’ cabins…
Hey, old lady, isn’t it lucky I brought my swimsuit?
Poll Vote!
Character: Ozu Satoshi
Series: Clone Baby
Age: 19
Canon: Clone Baby is a science-fiction drama about a series of murder cases whose victims were all born on Tanabata, July 7th. The targeted 19-year-olds turn out to be clones, created by the organization AGEC solely for the sake of sustaining the Master Clone, a girl who is suffering from multiple organ failure. It is called the Asterisk Project. Throughout the series, each clone goes a long way before finding out who they really are and where they come from - and when they meet each other, the urge to kill one another is not far. It's the Law of Providence that draws them together like magnets, but when they get too close, they clash. It's a battle royale of clones, playing a self-proclaimed game of musical chairs where only one of them can survive.
One of these clones is the stubborn former baseball champion Ozu Satoshi. He retired from the game after losing a final match due to a bad shoulder. The only possible transplant that would help him is a twin with identical genes; sadly, he believed that he was an only child. Being judged for a single failure after many victories embittered him. These days he is a frustrated young man, withdrawn from society, who has joined a gang of underground bullies. He is angry, albeit not as cruel as he would like to believe. As long as he is being cynical, he appears level-headed, but Ozu regains hope to get his old life back when he hears that there are clones of himself. He trusts AGEC blindly, despite being told that they don't even view him as a real human being. Knowing that it is his only chance, he doesn't want to hear about the rest.
Spoilers: [ He is contacted by AGEC with the offer of a transplant from one of his clones, but he cannot meet their condition: Killing a scientist who knows too much. They take him in anyway, and without his consent remove his lung for the Master Clone, leaving him with an artificial lung-- and the knowledge that his allergies will force his body to reject the organ, leading to his death.]
Sample:
Alright, that's it. I have had it already with the dirty baseball jokes from those fucking breakfast cereal birds who can't keep their traps shut! Like it's not enough that I was dumped here drenched in my own blood, no, when I finally found the showers I was doused in some more. Ugh, don't even tell me where that goop came from. I don't want to know. Guess I'm just going to continue to run around like I'm a gorey part of this B-movie horror scenery until you candid camera-style assholes are satisfied. But if you want to take some crit from a guy, maybe you should invest in better actors for the zombies before you cash out on enough CGI to holograph up an over-sized tentacle monster. Newsflash: Kids stop being scared by that shit at age seven.
Oh, so you're supposed to be a lady squid. You're lucky I'm not the tasteless kind of bastard who's going to make any lame Octopussy jokes here. I don't even know what the Hell I'm doing talking to the movie props, anyway, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore if I go insane or not. People sure are going to have a lot to yap about when you broadcast this... ! When I look at the situation, I feel like I was probably better off when everyone stopped caring. Now watch me do that to you instead. I’ll just sit right down over here and pitch some stones at Miss Holograph.
- oi, mitts off! Swear to God, if it turns out you're a 4D calamari who can actually touch me, I'm out of here. I am pretty damn sure this sort of crap is something you need my sign on a contract for. Tentacle porn? How fucked up is this? Not every Japanese dude is into that, you assholes. … What's with that dejected look? You're not even supposed to be able to make faces, it's creepy! Don’t sulk. Look, I’ll bet whatever you’re about to do is just going to take my breath away and I know this is a really typical excuse, but I've had surgery recently and that sloppy damn stitching hasn't healed yet. It's not you, it's me. So, love to get to fourth base and all, but unless you're into bloodplay on top of everything else, and I sure know I am not - no.
Poll Vote!
Character: Jessica Hamby
Series: True Blood
Age: 18 (turned less than a year ago, so no physical discrepancy)
Canon:
Welcome to Bon Temps, Louisiana, your regular small town with your regular small town people. This is including one Sookie Stackhouse, a young woman with the unusual ability of being able to read minds, something that renders her an outcast. Sookie’s life - and that of the whole town - changes completely with the arrival of vampire Bill Compton in their midst, something that has not happened at all since vampires ‘came out of the coffin’ a few years previously. That is to say, with the development of artificial blood by a Japanese company, vampires exposed themselves to the world at large, citing the new development as having made them ‘safe’ to humans. Now, as Sookie gets closer to Bill and begins to enter his world, it turns out that Bon Temps has a lot more of the supernatural going for it than she could ever have imagined.
Jessica is a ‘baby’ vampire, turned by Bill Compton as part of his punishment for killing another vampire. She was sired by him, and now lives with him in Bon Temps, learning how to be a proper vampire - and since she’s being taught by Bill, that means ‘mainstreaming’ just like him. A vampire trying to mainstream lives within the laws of human society; she can feed on humans with permission, but lives mainly on artificial blood and may even find a job, as Jessica has. Jessica was brought up in a strict, smothering family, bordering on abusive, and becoming a vampire gives her the escape from that life she’s always craved, even if there are various unwritten rules to follow. She’s a typical teenager - petulant and sardonic, reckless, self-centred and blunt to a fault. Even though she has a much softer, much more human side, she still has the killer instincts of a vampire and has even killed since. She may enjoy being a vampire, but deep down she’s scared of it, what she’s capable of and all she doesn’t know about it. She can even get downright angry about how difficult it can make things for her in a lot of ways.
(Note: Jessica’s blog on the official HBO website is written with the accent, so I’m going with that.)
Sample:
Oh, come on. I get it - the whole zombie thing isn’t a walk in the park. You gotta walk with this kind of stumble, you got some parts fallin’ off of you and you live on brains. I mean, I’ve been watchin’ you guys shambling about around here and it isn’t pretty. I’d lose my breakfast if I ate breakfast anymore. Can vampires even throw up? Add that to the list of things I still don’t know. But you’ve got it so much better than you think. At least you can go out during the day! Do you even realise how much of most people’s social lives goes on while the sun’s up? I get to spend my days in a fuckin’ cubbyhole under the stairs or I light up like the fourth of July. Then when I come out, I may as well have a neon sign over my head screamin’ ‘Hello, my name is Bloodsucking Demon’. And then everyone hates you.
But not zombies, everyone loves zombies. With all the movies and the video games - the ones Bill won’t let me play because his borin’ ass is too busy playin’ Wii Golf - there’s a lot of dumbasses out there who think the zombie apocalypse would be like goin’ to Disney World. All we did was exist and now every redneck this side of New Orleans either wants to put a bullet in our faces or bring us home and snort our blood. And at least you guys can just walk straight into a mortal’s home, by the way. We have to wait outside until someone lets us in, like a dog that just pissed on the carpet. You’ve even got this big, wide… boxed in summer camp to wander free in like a big dead wildlife reserve. You guys don’t even care!
And… and you know, at least you don’t have some kind of moral dilemma goin’ on. To you, it’s just ‘brains’, ‘brains’ and ‘braaaains’. You don’t have to worry about how the religion you spent your whole life steepin' in thinks you’re an abomination goin’ straight to hell in a handbasket, and what your family and friends are doin’ right now and what they’d think of you if they could see you feasting on the brains of the living. I guess because all your family are right here feastin’ with you. You’ve all got each other. All together. With brains.
And now I’m here too. And I’m all alone. If I’d just been infected by the frickin’ T-Virus and bitten them all, we wouldn’t be havin’ these problems. I’d be with my family, they wouldn’t suck as hard and we’d be kind of happy, too. I don’t know what you guys are complainin’ about.
Although you know, at least even around here I can take a shower once in a while.
Poll Vote!
Character: Riku Replica
Series: Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories
Character Age: Looks 15, actually about a week old
Canon: In his first adventure, Sora, the boy with the giant key--the ‘Keyblade’--went around the universe to save all of the Disney worlds from eternal darkness and find his best friends Riku and Kairi.
Chain of Memories is the sequel to that adventure, introducing players to the horror that is the card-battling system and making Sora revisit all the worlds he saved before, this time inside a giant creepy white castle. To complicate matters, the castle’s resident mad scientist has cloned one of Sora’s friends and set the clone loose in the castle.
This clone is the Riku Replica. He’s pretty arrogant and aggressive, unafraid to get in people’s faces and taunt them, and confident in his abilities--especially manipulation of darkness, which he taunts Riku for being ‘afraid’ of. However, underneath the confident mask, he’s actually very insecure about himself, and very desperately wants to become a ‘real’ person. This desperation drives him to compete with everyone in an attempt to prove he’s worth something, and might also be why he tends to spaz when he gets particularly irritated or confused.
Sample Post:
What’s up with this place, Real Thing? You told me that when I died, my heart would probably go to the same place as yours did, but this wasn’t what I was thinking of at all. I was thinking maybe eternal darkness--I dunno, something that makes sense. A farm doesn’t make sense. But if I’m here, does that mean that you’re here, too? I hope you are, because you owe me a rematch, and next time, I’ll be the winner. You can count on that.
Tch...I could do without all the undead creatures, too. Seriously, what is this place? I was manhandled more than enough before I got here, and the ones back at the castle at least had the decency not to drool all over me, so hands off if you want to keep them. I don’t care how much you want brains, you’re NOT getting any of mine. No, not even if you manage to beat me in a fight...not that that’s going to happen. You’ll still need a lot more than brains to win against me anyway. Half of you don’t even have the right number of limbs to fight with. One blast of darkness could probably take every single one of you down right away, but I’m not interested in opponents that are falling apart to begin with.
...What do you mean I’m being hypocritical? Who are you to tell me...tch, I don’t take advice from birds. I’m not ‘falling apart’! I know I’m not real, you don’t have to go and rub it in! Go annoy someone else for a change! Or do something useful.
Breaking into song doesn’t count.
...No, I DON’T want to sing along with you!
Poll Vote!