(no subject)
Next round! Let's roll. ♥ As a reminder, if you're going to abstain, click on the "vote" button, please!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Saiguuji Sion
Series: Di[e]ce
Character Age:
Canon: The game of chess is one of strategy, where each piece plays a role, and sometimes one must be sacrificed. But what if each piece was represented by a person, and the way to win was to kill the opposing team's king? Oh, and there's no refusing to participate either. Such is the nature of the game of "di[e]ce", as best friends, Naruse Kazuki and Koutake Haruki discover on their sixteenth birthday, when they are made the new kings.
One of the pieces serving Kazuki is Sion, the bishop. Specializing in the gathering of information, Sion is one of the only players in the game who seems to have an understanding of the situation they find themselves in. Pragmatic, intelligent, formal, and at times, cold, he provides support and unerring strategy for the rest of his team. His loyalty to his King is absolute and he will do whatever is necessary to protect him and ensure victory. However, even with his teammates, many of his thoughts remain private and his feelings a mystery. His methods may seem harsh, but Sion honestly believes in his team, more than he would ever let on.
Sample Post:
To: neversayrenever@cfud.net
From: saiguuji@yahoo.jp
Madame Director,
It has come to my attention that several of my comrades have been staying on your property. While I appreciate your willingness to provide for them, along with your numerous other guests, I must voice my concerns about some of the amenities and resources found on the premises. I have researched this camp and would be in your debt if you would review my findings. If I may be so presumptuous, I believe that some of my findings may be relevant to your running of this… fine establishment.
After touring the Mess Hall, I have noted several issues with the dietary options provided. A large percentage of the food is artificially enhanced, and an even larger percentage causes strange varieties of food poisoning. In the past week alone, I have observed residents growing appendages of various other animals, gaining strange powers, changing colors, becoming unnecessarily amorous, and abruptly switching their biological sex*. Even stranger, all of them seem to accept this as normal. There is also a soup served as a weekly special that I believe may qualify as a legal biohazard.
Additionally, I must voice my concerns about the staff members you have employed. Several of them seem to be in inappropriate relationships with the campers they are responsible for**. Those that are not are, more often than not, unresponsive to any attempts to communicate with them, instead staring blankly and occasionally groaning. I suspect that the aforementioned weekly special may be the cause of these unusual symptoms. Interestingly enough, they seemed to enjoy the soup while consuming it, but that may be an unusual symptom in and of itself.
In conclusion, I would like to apologize for troubling you with my complaints. Running such a large campground must have many challenges. However, I felt the need to resubmit this information in the interest of the general wellbeing of this camp's inhabitants. My initial submission of these findings led to my being referred to a Miss Marcy. However, I found her to be uncooperative. She was also a squid. If you are unable to read this report, Madame Director, I would prefer to be referred to a human so that we may have a proper and meaningful dialogue. Barring that, a sentient being with fewer tentacles would also be acceptable.
Regards,
Saigujii Sion
Footnotes:
*To be frank, I was unclear about the initial sex of several of these residents.
**Though it is worth noting that none of the campers seemed to be objecting to these inappropriate relations.
Poll Vote!
Character: Black★Star
Series: Soul Eater
Character Age: 13
Canon: Ever wonder what a Grim Reaper looks like? If you're picturing a scary-looking skeleton holding the classic scythe to reap souls, think again! In the world of Soul Eater, the Grim Reaper is a benevolent entity with huge hands and a tendency to joke around and be silly. In addition to that, he's quite fond of protecting the world. So fond, in fact, that he founded a school specifically to train children to defeat monsters and witches alike in order to prevent a Demon God from being born once again. In addiction to collecting souls of corrupted humans in order to create a "Death Scythe" and occasionally saving the world, the students also learn important lessons that range from the dangers of insanity to the importance of both fear and courage.
Loud and self-absorbed, Black★Star is probably the single most annoying human being anyone could ever meet. Not only does he love to brag about anything and everything, Black★Star also has a tendency to think of himself as a STAR and as a result, he tends to see other people as "small" compared to his great self- in fact, he actually refers to himself as "my great self" and frequently calls other people "small ones". Incredibly full of himself and with a far too inflated ego, he constantly tries to get in the spotlight and grab everyone's attention. Despite that, he isn't overly concerned about other people's opinions of him and still does whatever he wants without caring too much. Although he may be incredibly irritating and immature, deep down Black★Star is a really good guy who'd do anything for the people he cares for, including use his own body to protect his weapon. Sure, he's the kind of guy who prefers to look like a complete idiot and pretend he's not concerned about anything at all, but he really does care, even if he's not exactly open about that..
Sample Post:
Oi, Director! You better listen to me, 'cause the great Black★Star isn't going to repeat himself! Heh, you kidnapped me because you heard of my greatness, didn't you? Tch, don't get me wrong: I'm not going to forgive you for that. Even if I understand why you did it, kidnapping my big self like this was wrong! But I know why you did that- you needed me. This place is so bad, even by small people's standards, so you brought me here in hope that people will find a reason to come here! It sure was a great idea, but someone as great as I am isn't going to waste his time in here for long, small one.
But there's no need to worry! I felt generous, so my great self already thought of a solution. Sure, this place is never going to become as awesome as I am, but with the stuff I changed, it'll be close enough! You're curious to hear, aren't you?! Heheheh, fine, I'll go on! First thing I did- I made sure to write my autograph everywhere I could! That way, everyone who comes to this farm will know someone as big as me was here before! No need to say anything, I know what you're thinking now. You're worried about people who will see this place from above, huh. Of course this great me thought of that, too. That's why I cut the crops in the cornfields to make them into the shape of my autograph. Aren't you amazed by my great genius?! Kyahahah!
Yeah, I know, that's not going to be enough. Even with my mark all around this place, if I'm not here, people won't have a reason to come! Knowing you'd lose your fame if the signs of my presence were to disappear, I told the gorillas to remodel that silo so it'd look like a giant Black★Star, so small guys like you can think I'm always watching them. Since I'm a man who can defeat the gods, something like that sure is fitting! For me to give you permission to use my great image for your small farm- you must be overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude, huh!? Don't worry, that's normal. Everyone can't help but feel overwhelmed by my great figure once they see me, heheh!
And with a representation of my big self here and all of my autographs, you won't have anything to worry about anymore, Director! I bet that in no time people will start calling this "Black★Star's Great Farm For People Who Are Trying To Be As Big As Him But Never Will Be Since He's The One And Only King Above And Below The Skies. Nice Try Though"! It sure sounds better than "Camp Fuck You Die", heh! Oh yeah, I forgot to say. Don't bother moving away that giant octopus thing on top of the silo; it's not going to ruin my awesome silo statue. I told the gorillas to just make sure it'll change position to look like my hair on it. I know, I know- pure genius!
Poll Vote!
Character: Nia Teppelin
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Character Age: 21
Canon: In a world full of oppression and staggering phallic symbolism, Simon the Digger is the one boy who will liberate humanity from the rule of the beastmen and grow up to save the world from the Anti-Spirals, all using the power of fighting spirit and the occasional bracing punch to the jaw delivered between friends. But he is not alone in his journey of personal growth. He is joined, for a time, by his adopted big brother, Kamina, as well as their friend, Yoko.
And then comes Nia, his soulmate from the moment she steps out of the box. Yes, the box. She is bubbly, silly, weird, and full of inner strength. She struggles to establish her identity in a world that seems bent on ripping it away from her, but with Simon's help she overcomes challenges from her neglectful father to evil geometry and realizes her true potential. She's a pretty awesome lady; just don't eat her cooking.
Sample Post:
Well met, Sir Zombie. It is a happiness to meet you! Yet...it is not a happiness that you are attempting to chew on my head in order to eat my brains. Sir Zombie, in any world there are some things that belong to a person and should not be taken from them. One might say they are a part of one’s destiny, which one shapes with their hands and their heart so it may pierce the heavens! Brains are one of those things that allows a person to shape her own destiny. I apologize from the depths of my heart, but I cannot allow you to have mine! I require them for deciding what flowers I would like to plant, inventing recipes to cook, and thinking of Simon. Also, I believe they are necessary for living.
No, Sir Zombie! Please do not despair. If you desire more brains, there is a solution to be found. It may seem frightening at first. Even I misunderstood it once and thought it was impossible. To gain more brains, you should join with another Sir or Miss Zombie! Also, this way you would have at least one more arm, which would, according to the calculations I learned once upon a time back in Teppelin, grant you two whole, or mostly whole, arms.
Do not be afraid. It is not a joining in which you lose yourself, or in your case what is left of yourself. It is a joining in which the two of you live out your life together, although perhaps it should be called an unjoining for you, for you are in your unlife. You will not lose the brains you have; instead, you will gain twice as much!
What is that you speak, Sir Zombie? "NnnnNNNNNnnnngh"? Then...you do not wish to join with another. I understand. Perhaps there is no one in your heart special enough to warrant it. Do not worry! Someday, you will find that special person. For now, there is another solution. Instead of joining so closely with a single other zombie, you may form a team with many other zombies. Together, you will be strong. You will become the Dai-Zombie Brigade, with many brains, or pieces of brains.
But you cannot use the Dai-Gurren Brigade’s flag! That is ours and ours alone, much similar to my brains. No, you still cannot have those, either. I am sure they would be delicious, but they are not for you. Now, Sir Zombie, we must go our separate ways.
...Please, stop following me. You must find your own path. One that does not involve my brains.
Poll Vote!
Name: Veser Amaker Hatch
Series: Hanna is Not A Boy’s Name
Age: 19
Canon: When there’s something strange in your neighborhood, who ya’ gonna call? Hanna Cross, paranormal investigator! He may not have a catchy theme song, but he’ll get the job done. Er. More or less. Well, he tries hard. It’s the thought that counts? Let’s say he’s very lucky to have friends willing to help him out of trouble, even if most of those friends are the monsters he should be investigating.
One of these friends is Veser, a half-human and half-magical shape-shifting seal. He comes from a complicated and not at all happy family. He’s mostly a normal human except for rows of pointy teeth, because apparently human + seal = shark. That’s genetics! Veser is, in summary, really annoying. He has all the tact of a very tactless thing and a talent for saying the least appropriate thing at the worst possible moment, but no one can say for certain if he does it on purpose for the reaction or out of a genuine lack of social graces. While his overall attitude is cynical, he can be very outgoing in the right mood, sometimes going over the line from friendly to terrible flirting. And then he’ll go over the line again to “oh god why would you ever say that.” Despite all this, he’s not all bad qualities. For example, he has a really cool jacket!
Sample Post:
Who the hell sends their nineteen-year-old kid to camp?! I guess dear ol’ dad wanted some alone time with the little missus. Fuckin’ sick. Whatever, like I wanted to go home for Spring Break anyway. I was planning on boozing it up on a beach or something like that. Definitely not finger painting kayaks or whatever happens at camps. Dunno why they’d foot the bill for this, though, unless...
So it’s like that, huh? Yeah, I see what’s going on now. This is one of those “scared straight” places that fixes problem children, isn’t it? Sorry, but it’s wasted on me. Trust me, if you’d seen what I’ve seen it would take more than zombies to surprise--HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT! I guess silicone implants don’t rot. What are those, double-Ds? Nice. I’d say you’ve got what, maybe twenty years of decay going on? That’s cool. Older women have more experience. What?! Don’t give me that look! Zombies aren’t my type.
Although... I mean, if it was an end of the world kind of thing and we had to repopulate the Earth then maybe, assuming we could even procreate and that your, uh, tender lady parts didn’t rot off years ago. No, the downstairs lady parts. The funbags still look awesome. Greenish-grey, but awesome. Gimme a blindfold and a nose plug and I bet we could work something out. Just think of it as kinky. No biting though. Between my teeth and your hunger for manflesh I just don’t see it ending well.
Yeah, that’s right. Manflesh. You think I didn’t notice you eyeing the goods? I know that look. Interested in making the beast with two backs, huh? Doing the deed? Horizontalize? I mean you wanna get this. You’ve been hoping to ride the stallion this whole time, I can tell. Hey! Hey, where are you going? Did I go to far? Don’t leave me hanging here!
… Aw yeah. She’ll be back.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurosaki Mafuyu
Series: Oresama Teacher
Character Age: high-school aged
Canon: Life has been cruel to Kurosaki Mafuyu. She was the leader of a tough gang at her school, but she kicked out for being involved in illegal activities. Luckily she gets one more chance at turning her life around, as there is a school in a neighboring city that accepts her as a student. Once she transfers, though, she is forced into the disciplinary committee at the ‘request’ of her troublesome homeroom teacher. With no choice but to participate, Mafuyu has to keep her wits about her as she deals with delinquent students, an evil student council, and a conspiracy to get the school closed, all while trying her best not to get expelled for a second time.
Mafuyu is an energetic, cheerful girl who is making a conscious effort to become a better person. She finds happiness in the little things, like sharing notes, being on a first-name basis with people, and hanging out with friends after school. She’s not afraid to express her emotions either, though she can be a bit over-the-top at times. Unfortunately, Mafuyu isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. She has her rare moments of brilliance, but most of the time she is just really dense. She manages to twist what should be an obvious observation into something extremely bizarre, and it takes her a little longer than normal to realize what’s really going on. That doesn’t stop her from trying to do good, though. Her life is filled with trouble, but Mafuyu never loses sight of her goals. She meets every challenge with a smile on her face and determination in her heart. It’s just that, from time to time, she needs a helping hand to get going in the right direction.
Sample Post:
Excuse me! Hello, can anyone help me for a moment? I’m looking for someone named Marcy. See, she sent me this letter, and it sounds like she’s in serious trouble. Here, I’ll read you all the letter she sent me. “Dear Mafuyu, I am in serious trouble, and I really need your help. Come find me at Camp Fuck U Die. I will be waiting for you. Sincerely, Marcy.” See? She sent me a letter in the mail! She even used my first name! Not ‘Ms. Kurosaki,’ but Mafuyu! That means she really trusts me, right? And look at this, she signed the letter with these cute little tentacles. That’s definitely a mark of friendship. Hehe, my first friend at camp, this is the best day ever!
But I’m getting ahead of myself, I still need to actually find her. There’s a few signs outside this corn silo here, maybe one of them has a clue. let’s see…Oh hey, I got lucky on my first try! ”Danger: Marcy ahead. Keep out. Do not approach.” Huh. That’s odd, why would Marcy warn people away from her home, especially if she needed help with something? Nobody really keeps people away, except cranky old people and superheroes…That’s it! Marcy is the star of a superhero movie! Camp must be the filming grounds, and this is her secret base. That would explain the signs: it looks inconspicuous enough in the movies, but it tells the film crews where to go to shoot the movie scenes. How clever! Oh, but I still need to talk to Marcy about this letter. I bet she’s in the silo here, if it’s meant to be her secret base.
AAAAAAH! WHAT IS THAT THING?! Is that…is that a tentacle monster?! What the heck is it doing here? Is it the final boss? …Wait…tentacle monster…tentacles on the letter…ooh, I get it now! This is Marcy’s super-secret crime-fighting disguise! It’s a really clever one too, nobody would expect a tentacle monster to be the good guy. And you’re here in camp to do battle with the evil farm villains, right? This is going to be an awesome movie! I bet that’s why you wrote me the letter; you want me to be your sidekick. I’d be happy to do it, just let me see the script and I’ll memorize my lines as quickly as I can.
Wait a second, is that a webcam? And what’s on this computer here, “tentaclexxx dot com”? Your letter didn’t mention any websites like that! Just what are you trying to pull here? I may have a bit of a reputation, but I am not that kind of girl!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Saiguuji Sion
Series: Di[e]ce
Character Age:
Canon: The game of chess is one of strategy, where each piece plays a role, and sometimes one must be sacrificed. But what if each piece was represented by a person, and the way to win was to kill the opposing team's king? Oh, and there's no refusing to participate either. Such is the nature of the game of "di[e]ce", as best friends, Naruse Kazuki and Koutake Haruki discover on their sixteenth birthday, when they are made the new kings.
One of the pieces serving Kazuki is Sion, the bishop. Specializing in the gathering of information, Sion is one of the only players in the game who seems to have an understanding of the situation they find themselves in. Pragmatic, intelligent, formal, and at times, cold, he provides support and unerring strategy for the rest of his team. His loyalty to his King is absolute and he will do whatever is necessary to protect him and ensure victory. However, even with his teammates, many of his thoughts remain private and his feelings a mystery. His methods may seem harsh, but Sion honestly believes in his team, more than he would ever let on.
Sample Post:
To: neversayrenever@cfud.net
From: saiguuji@yahoo.jp
Madame Director,
It has come to my attention that several of my comrades have been staying on your property. While I appreciate your willingness to provide for them, along with your numerous other guests, I must voice my concerns about some of the amenities and resources found on the premises. I have researched this camp and would be in your debt if you would review my findings. If I may be so presumptuous, I believe that some of my findings may be relevant to your running of this… fine establishment.
After touring the Mess Hall, I have noted several issues with the dietary options provided. A large percentage of the food is artificially enhanced, and an even larger percentage causes strange varieties of food poisoning. In the past week alone, I have observed residents growing appendages of various other animals, gaining strange powers, changing colors, becoming unnecessarily amorous, and abruptly switching their biological sex*. Even stranger, all of them seem to accept this as normal. There is also a soup served as a weekly special that I believe may qualify as a legal biohazard.
Additionally, I must voice my concerns about the staff members you have employed. Several of them seem to be in inappropriate relationships with the campers they are responsible for**. Those that are not are, more often than not, unresponsive to any attempts to communicate with them, instead staring blankly and occasionally groaning. I suspect that the aforementioned weekly special may be the cause of these unusual symptoms. Interestingly enough, they seemed to enjoy the soup while consuming it, but that may be an unusual symptom in and of itself.
In conclusion, I would like to apologize for troubling you with my complaints. Running such a large campground must have many challenges. However, I felt the need to resubmit this information in the interest of the general wellbeing of this camp's inhabitants. My initial submission of these findings led to my being referred to a Miss Marcy. However, I found her to be uncooperative. She was also a squid. If you are unable to read this report, Madame Director, I would prefer to be referred to a human so that we may have a proper and meaningful dialogue. Barring that, a sentient being with fewer tentacles would also be acceptable.
Regards,
Saigujii Sion
Footnotes:
*To be frank, I was unclear about the initial sex of several of these residents.
**Though it is worth noting that none of the campers seemed to be objecting to these inappropriate relations.
Poll Vote!
Character: Black★Star
Series: Soul Eater
Character Age: 13
Canon: Ever wonder what a Grim Reaper looks like? If you're picturing a scary-looking skeleton holding the classic scythe to reap souls, think again! In the world of Soul Eater, the Grim Reaper is a benevolent entity with huge hands and a tendency to joke around and be silly. In addition to that, he's quite fond of protecting the world. So fond, in fact, that he founded a school specifically to train children to defeat monsters and witches alike in order to prevent a Demon God from being born once again. In addiction to collecting souls of corrupted humans in order to create a "Death Scythe" and occasionally saving the world, the students also learn important lessons that range from the dangers of insanity to the importance of both fear and courage.
Loud and self-absorbed, Black★Star is probably the single most annoying human being anyone could ever meet. Not only does he love to brag about anything and everything, Black★Star also has a tendency to think of himself as a STAR and as a result, he tends to see other people as "small" compared to his great self- in fact, he actually refers to himself as "my great self" and frequently calls other people "small ones". Incredibly full of himself and with a far too inflated ego, he constantly tries to get in the spotlight and grab everyone's attention. Despite that, he isn't overly concerned about other people's opinions of him and still does whatever he wants without caring too much. Although he may be incredibly irritating and immature, deep down Black★Star is a really good guy who'd do anything for the people he cares for, including use his own body to protect his weapon. Sure, he's the kind of guy who prefers to look like a complete idiot and pretend he's not concerned about anything at all, but he really does care, even if he's not exactly open about that..
Sample Post:
Oi, Director! You better listen to me, 'cause the great Black★Star isn't going to repeat himself! Heh, you kidnapped me because you heard of my greatness, didn't you? Tch, don't get me wrong: I'm not going to forgive you for that. Even if I understand why you did it, kidnapping my big self like this was wrong! But I know why you did that- you needed me. This place is so bad, even by small people's standards, so you brought me here in hope that people will find a reason to come here! It sure was a great idea, but someone as great as I am isn't going to waste his time in here for long, small one.
But there's no need to worry! I felt generous, so my great self already thought of a solution. Sure, this place is never going to become as awesome as I am, but with the stuff I changed, it'll be close enough! You're curious to hear, aren't you?! Heheheh, fine, I'll go on! First thing I did- I made sure to write my autograph everywhere I could! That way, everyone who comes to this farm will know someone as big as me was here before! No need to say anything, I know what you're thinking now. You're worried about people who will see this place from above, huh. Of course this great me thought of that, too. That's why I cut the crops in the cornfields to make them into the shape of my autograph. Aren't you amazed by my great genius?! Kyahahah!
Yeah, I know, that's not going to be enough. Even with my mark all around this place, if I'm not here, people won't have a reason to come! Knowing you'd lose your fame if the signs of my presence were to disappear, I told the gorillas to remodel that silo so it'd look like a giant Black★Star, so small guys like you can think I'm always watching them. Since I'm a man who can defeat the gods, something like that sure is fitting! For me to give you permission to use my great image for your small farm- you must be overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude, huh!? Don't worry, that's normal. Everyone can't help but feel overwhelmed by my great figure once they see me, heheh!
And with a representation of my big self here and all of my autographs, you won't have anything to worry about anymore, Director! I bet that in no time people will start calling this "Black★Star's Great Farm For People Who Are Trying To Be As Big As Him But Never Will Be Since He's The One And Only King Above And Below The Skies. Nice Try Though"! It sure sounds better than "Camp Fuck You Die", heh! Oh yeah, I forgot to say. Don't bother moving away that giant octopus thing on top of the silo; it's not going to ruin my awesome silo statue. I told the gorillas to just make sure it'll change position to look like my hair on it. I know, I know- pure genius!
Poll Vote!
Character: Nia Teppelin
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Character Age: 21
Canon: In a world full of oppression and staggering phallic symbolism, Simon the Digger is the one boy who will liberate humanity from the rule of the beastmen and grow up to save the world from the Anti-Spirals, all using the power of fighting spirit and the occasional bracing punch to the jaw delivered between friends. But he is not alone in his journey of personal growth. He is joined, for a time, by his adopted big brother, Kamina, as well as their friend, Yoko.
And then comes Nia, his soulmate from the moment she steps out of the box. Yes, the box. She is bubbly, silly, weird, and full of inner strength. She struggles to establish her identity in a world that seems bent on ripping it away from her, but with Simon's help she overcomes challenges from her neglectful father to evil geometry and realizes her true potential. She's a pretty awesome lady; just don't eat her cooking.
Sample Post:
Well met, Sir Zombie. It is a happiness to meet you! Yet...it is not a happiness that you are attempting to chew on my head in order to eat my brains. Sir Zombie, in any world there are some things that belong to a person and should not be taken from them. One might say they are a part of one’s destiny, which one shapes with their hands and their heart so it may pierce the heavens! Brains are one of those things that allows a person to shape her own destiny. I apologize from the depths of my heart, but I cannot allow you to have mine! I require them for deciding what flowers I would like to plant, inventing recipes to cook, and thinking of Simon. Also, I believe they are necessary for living.
No, Sir Zombie! Please do not despair. If you desire more brains, there is a solution to be found. It may seem frightening at first. Even I misunderstood it once and thought it was impossible. To gain more brains, you should join with another Sir or Miss Zombie! Also, this way you would have at least one more arm, which would, according to the calculations I learned once upon a time back in Teppelin, grant you two whole, or mostly whole, arms.
Do not be afraid. It is not a joining in which you lose yourself, or in your case what is left of yourself. It is a joining in which the two of you live out your life together, although perhaps it should be called an unjoining for you, for you are in your unlife. You will not lose the brains you have; instead, you will gain twice as much!
What is that you speak, Sir Zombie? "NnnnNNNNNnnnngh"? Then...you do not wish to join with another. I understand. Perhaps there is no one in your heart special enough to warrant it. Do not worry! Someday, you will find that special person. For now, there is another solution. Instead of joining so closely with a single other zombie, you may form a team with many other zombies. Together, you will be strong. You will become the Dai-Zombie Brigade, with many brains, or pieces of brains.
But you cannot use the Dai-Gurren Brigade’s flag! That is ours and ours alone, much similar to my brains. No, you still cannot have those, either. I am sure they would be delicious, but they are not for you. Now, Sir Zombie, we must go our separate ways.
...Please, stop following me. You must find your own path. One that does not involve my brains.
Poll Vote!
Name: Veser Amaker Hatch
Series: Hanna is Not A Boy’s Name
Age: 19
Canon: When there’s something strange in your neighborhood, who ya’ gonna call? Hanna Cross, paranormal investigator! He may not have a catchy theme song, but he’ll get the job done. Er. More or less. Well, he tries hard. It’s the thought that counts? Let’s say he’s very lucky to have friends willing to help him out of trouble, even if most of those friends are the monsters he should be investigating.
One of these friends is Veser, a half-human and half-magical shape-shifting seal. He comes from a complicated and not at all happy family. He’s mostly a normal human except for rows of pointy teeth, because apparently human + seal = shark. That’s genetics! Veser is, in summary, really annoying. He has all the tact of a very tactless thing and a talent for saying the least appropriate thing at the worst possible moment, but no one can say for certain if he does it on purpose for the reaction or out of a genuine lack of social graces. While his overall attitude is cynical, he can be very outgoing in the right mood, sometimes going over the line from friendly to terrible flirting. And then he’ll go over the line again to “oh god why would you ever say that.” Despite all this, he’s not all bad qualities. For example, he has a really cool jacket!
Sample Post:
Who the hell sends their nineteen-year-old kid to camp?! I guess dear ol’ dad wanted some alone time with the little missus. Fuckin’ sick. Whatever, like I wanted to go home for Spring Break anyway. I was planning on boozing it up on a beach or something like that. Definitely not finger painting kayaks or whatever happens at camps. Dunno why they’d foot the bill for this, though, unless...
So it’s like that, huh? Yeah, I see what’s going on now. This is one of those “scared straight” places that fixes problem children, isn’t it? Sorry, but it’s wasted on me. Trust me, if you’d seen what I’ve seen it would take more than zombies to surprise--HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT! I guess silicone implants don’t rot. What are those, double-Ds? Nice. I’d say you’ve got what, maybe twenty years of decay going on? That’s cool. Older women have more experience. What?! Don’t give me that look! Zombies aren’t my type.
Although... I mean, if it was an end of the world kind of thing and we had to repopulate the Earth then maybe, assuming we could even procreate and that your, uh, tender lady parts didn’t rot off years ago. No, the downstairs lady parts. The funbags still look awesome. Greenish-grey, but awesome. Gimme a blindfold and a nose plug and I bet we could work something out. Just think of it as kinky. No biting though. Between my teeth and your hunger for manflesh I just don’t see it ending well.
Yeah, that’s right. Manflesh. You think I didn’t notice you eyeing the goods? I know that look. Interested in making the beast with two backs, huh? Doing the deed? Horizontalize? I mean you wanna get this. You’ve been hoping to ride the stallion this whole time, I can tell. Hey! Hey, where are you going? Did I go to far? Don’t leave me hanging here!
… Aw yeah. She’ll be back.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurosaki Mafuyu
Series: Oresama Teacher
Character Age: high-school aged
Canon: Life has been cruel to Kurosaki Mafuyu. She was the leader of a tough gang at her school, but she kicked out for being involved in illegal activities. Luckily she gets one more chance at turning her life around, as there is a school in a neighboring city that accepts her as a student. Once she transfers, though, she is forced into the disciplinary committee at the ‘request’ of her troublesome homeroom teacher. With no choice but to participate, Mafuyu has to keep her wits about her as she deals with delinquent students, an evil student council, and a conspiracy to get the school closed, all while trying her best not to get expelled for a second time.
Mafuyu is an energetic, cheerful girl who is making a conscious effort to become a better person. She finds happiness in the little things, like sharing notes, being on a first-name basis with people, and hanging out with friends after school. She’s not afraid to express her emotions either, though she can be a bit over-the-top at times. Unfortunately, Mafuyu isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. She has her rare moments of brilliance, but most of the time she is just really dense. She manages to twist what should be an obvious observation into something extremely bizarre, and it takes her a little longer than normal to realize what’s really going on. That doesn’t stop her from trying to do good, though. Her life is filled with trouble, but Mafuyu never loses sight of her goals. She meets every challenge with a smile on her face and determination in her heart. It’s just that, from time to time, she needs a helping hand to get going in the right direction.
Sample Post:
Excuse me! Hello, can anyone help me for a moment? I’m looking for someone named Marcy. See, she sent me this letter, and it sounds like she’s in serious trouble. Here, I’ll read you all the letter she sent me. “Dear Mafuyu, I am in serious trouble, and I really need your help. Come find me at Camp Fuck U Die. I will be waiting for you. Sincerely, Marcy.” See? She sent me a letter in the mail! She even used my first name! Not ‘Ms. Kurosaki,’ but Mafuyu! That means she really trusts me, right? And look at this, she signed the letter with these cute little tentacles. That’s definitely a mark of friendship. Hehe, my first friend at camp, this is the best day ever!
But I’m getting ahead of myself, I still need to actually find her. There’s a few signs outside this corn silo here, maybe one of them has a clue. let’s see…Oh hey, I got lucky on my first try! ”Danger: Marcy ahead. Keep out. Do not approach.” Huh. That’s odd, why would Marcy warn people away from her home, especially if she needed help with something? Nobody really keeps people away, except cranky old people and superheroes…That’s it! Marcy is the star of a superhero movie! Camp must be the filming grounds, and this is her secret base. That would explain the signs: it looks inconspicuous enough in the movies, but it tells the film crews where to go to shoot the movie scenes. How clever! Oh, but I still need to talk to Marcy about this letter. I bet she’s in the silo here, if it’s meant to be her secret base.
AAAAAAH! WHAT IS THAT THING?! Is that…is that a tentacle monster?! What the heck is it doing here? Is it the final boss? …Wait…tentacle monster…tentacles on the letter…ooh, I get it now! This is Marcy’s super-secret crime-fighting disguise! It’s a really clever one too, nobody would expect a tentacle monster to be the good guy. And you’re here in camp to do battle with the evil farm villains, right? This is going to be an awesome movie! I bet that’s why you wrote me the letter; you want me to be your sidekick. I’d be happy to do it, just let me see the script and I’ll memorize my lines as quickly as I can.
Wait a second, is that a webcam? And what’s on this computer here, “tentaclexxx dot com”? Your letter didn’t mention any websites like that! Just what are you trying to pull here? I may have a bit of a reputation, but I am not that kind of girl!
Poll Vote!