(Untitled)

[verydurable]

[today in the messhall, the following items have been lined up on a table:

hand lotion

vaseline

extra-virgin olive oil

mayonaise

window cleaner

Comments

[burgercraving]

I would've guessed you're a bear right off.

[verydurable]

Actually, I'm more of a Tiger . . .

[burgercraving]

...

No. I bet you really aren't. Unless you're using the peanut butter to earn a new reputation, and if so, congratulations: you're earning it.

[verydurable]

Uh. No, that wasn't the plan . . .

[wiping his fingers on a convenient napkin]

[burgercraving]

Humor me. I'm really curious.

[verydurable]

Okay? But you're gonna have to tell me what you're curious about.

[burgercraving]

...

What you're doing with all of this, you idiot.

[verydurable]

Oh, that. But hey, no reason to get insulting. There's just nothing interesting about it.

[holds up his hand. a ring is now visible-- quite clearly too small for the finger it's stuck on]

[burgercraving]

[considers]

I could get that off for you.

[verydurable]

[considering too]

Well I'll try anything at this point.

[holding out his hand]

[burgercraving]

[grabs it firmly-this is like vampire strength here, and turns it over]

Let me feed and I'll slide it right off.

[verydurable]

[nnnot the first connection that springs to mind]

So-- a NEXT? I don't know if that's going to work . . . but sure, If this works I won't need it, right?

[burgercraving]

A ... what? I'm a vampire.

[verydurable]

Oh, huh, another one.

[verydurable]

Hey, hang on! Feed on me?

[burgercraving]

I'm hungry and it's a bargain.