[fic] SuperJunior - "Painted as Opposites" (9/?)
Title: Painted as Opposites [Chapter 9]
Author: phasera
Pairing: Siwon/Donghae
Summary: (AU) Loosely inspired by the k-drama Princess Hours.
Chapters: o1 | o2 | o3 | o4 | o5 | o6 | o7 | o8 | o9 | 10 | #
Note: This story is incomplete, and I will not be working on it anytime soon. I appreciate the readers who still enjoy this fic, and I'm very sorry I cannot promise you a conclusion.
------------------------Chapter 9------------------------
"Why does life hate me?" Donghae sighed at the blue-furred bear that he was currently holding above his head. The stuffed animal only gazed down at Donghae with his button-black eyes and gave silence as an answer.
As usual, Donghae found Mr. Bear to be extremely profound, in his somber little way.
Bored, Donghae tossed Mr. Bear across the room-he had cotton for insides, he could handle it-and tucked his arms behind his head, left with only the white-spackled ceiling to contemplate. Donghae probably had every topographical detail of that ceiling memorized already. There weren't many other things to occupy his time, after all, and he'd already finished sorting through the prince's latest stack of fan mail hours ago. As it had only been a few days since the car-accident, the gifts mainly consisted of brightly colored stuffed animals, bouquets of flowers, and thousands upon thousands of Get Well cards.
Kyuhyun had left the job of mail-sorting to Donghae, being himself occupied with taking over Yesung's duties while the older aide was still recovering from his injury. Donghae didn't mind. He mostly just ate all of the candy-taste-testing for poisons, he justified-and piled the rest into the corners of his room. As a result, it looked more as if Donghae had been the victim of a car-wreck than the prince.
Sometimes Donghae almost wished that Siwon had been roughed up a little more than bruises and scrapes; at least then he'd have been forced to take the time to rest, recover his health. But the prince had merely seemed to take it all in stride, as he did with everything else in life. Because heaven forefend that nearly getting killed-or getting married, a traitorous part of Donghae added-should interfere with the smooth running of the palace.
Realizing he was wallowing again-which he'd been under strict self-imposed orders to avoid-Donghae pulled one of his crumpled pillows over his face to muffle a brief but therapeutic scream of frustration.
The sounds of people entering the courtyard seemed at that moment like a gift of distraction sent straight from Divinity. A familiar voice calling out, "Hello? Donghae? We've arrived, so hurry up and come greet us," lent immediate speed to Donghae's feet, and he quickly tumbled out of his bed and all but ran out of the open doorway.
Sungmin and Hyukjae were both standing inside the courtyard, looking around like small excited children on their first trip to the zoo.
"Oh my god, Donghae, this is where you live?" Hyukjae exclaimed, as if he hadn't forced Donghae to describe the palace and all its multi-faceted glory half a dozen times over the phone.
Sungmin standing with his hands on his hips gave a low, impressed whistle. "I like the fountain, it's a nice touch. Very Louis the XIVth."
Donghae, to hide the fact that his eyes had started to mist over from the sheer relief of having them there, grabbed Hyukjae and Sungmin into a tight hug, squeezing until both his roommates laughed and threatened to pass out from lack of oxygen.
"You have no idea how good it is to see you guys," Donghae managed to say, once he'd released them.
"Of course we know," Hyukjae scoffed, grinning. "We're always good to see."
"Also, we might have had a slight clue from your nine-thousand texts every day saying 'Bored! Entertain me!'" Sungmin rolled his eyes. "Though how anybody could be bored with all this, I have no idea."
Kyuhyun came stumbling to the entrance then, loaded down like a packhorse under the weight of several bright pink suitcases, and one shabby-looking duffel that appeared to be slung around his neck like an afterthought. "I'll just put these in the guest bedrooms, shall I?" the aide wheezed, disappearing back down the hallway.
Donghae could feel his surprise showing on his face. "Suitcases? You're both staying here?"
"You didn't really think we'd let an opportunity like this pass by, did you? When Kyuhyun came this morning with the cleared visitor's passes, we had our stuff packed and ready in five minutes," Hyukjae explained.
"Besides," Sungmin said, slinging an arm around Donghae's shoulders and lowering his tone confidentially, "We haven't forgotten that special promise we made you. That's going to take around-the-clock effort, we already know."
Donghae blinked for a second, and then his arms began to prickle with goosebumps of dread. "I don't-now, hold on a minute," he stammered, putting up his arms as if the gesture could ward either of them off.
"Ta-da!" Hyukjae said, pulling a long rolled-up paper out of what might have been his sleeve. He snapped it open with a flourish to reveal a colorful diagram full of scribbles, notes, and stick-figure drawings in positions that Donghae was afraid to examine too closely.
"As you can see," Sungmin said, the arm around Donghae's shoulders casually tightening as Donghae's body instinctively tried to flee. "We… have a Plan."
Indeed, the title across the top of the paper read: Plan to Get Prince and Donghae into Bed, outlined with glittery markers and happy-face stickers. Donghae could only stare at it, helpless and horrified. "I think my eyes are literally burning, right now."
Sungmin petted Donghae's hair soothingly. "It's okay now, we're here for you."
Hyukjae pouted at the unenthusiastic reaction. "If we're going to save your marriage the least you could do is thank us."
Donghae felt feverish and cold in swift succession. This was going to get bad. "Can't, too busy wishing for death," Donghae answered, numb.
"Oh that's good," Sungmin beamed, hugging him. "That's actually Phase One of our plan!"
Donghae whimpered.
"It's totally genius, now listen." Hyukjae set aside the poster, and Sungmin pushed Donghae onto a nearby bench so they could act out the plan with pantomime as Hyukjae explained it. "Okay, so first, all you have to do is pretend to drown in the pool."
So saying, Hyukjae flailed his arms wildly-which put Donghae more in mind of a baby orangutan than a drowning person, and God, why couldn't he make himself stop watching?-and then Sungmin grabbed Hyukjae and heroically cradled the younger boy to his chest.
"That's when the prince can jump in and save you," Hyukjae said, and swooned, batting his eyelashes furiously up at Sungmin, who did a pretty good impression of one of Siwon's sneers.
"And then…" Hyukjae hushed for dramatic effect, while Sungmin leaned over him ominously, "…C-P-R!"
Donghae jumped to his feet before they could finish their playacted climax. "How about let's not," he blurted, feeling his cheeks warm.
Sungmin dropped Hyukjae ungracefully, facing Donghae with a familiar stubborn glint. "And why not?"
Donghae scrambled for an excuse. "Because… because I know how to swim pretty well. So it lacks, um, believability?"
"He's right," Hyukjae agreed from the floor, propping himself up on his elbows and puffing hair out of his face. "That would probably look suspicious."
"We could knock him semi-unconscious first?" Sungmin suggested, and Donghae really wished he could believe that was a joke.
Hyukjae only shot Sungmin a dark glare. "Remember the last time you tried giving Donghae a head wound?"
"Oh," Sungmin said, dropping his gaze with a shamed expression, "Yeah."
Donghae was baffled, to say the least. "What the hell are you guys talking about?"
Hyukjae and Sungmin exchanged a look between them, and Donghae really, really hated it when they did that. "If you don't remember, then trust me, it's for the best," Hyukjae told Donghae, standing up and dusting off.
"Well, I guess the drowning plan is out," Sungmin sighed, looking far too disappointed for Donghae's peace of mind.
"It was never in! And would you two please stop trying to kill me?"
Thankfully, Hyukjae rolled up the poster and put it back wherever it had appeared from. "Let's just not worry about all that right now. How about a tour first? For highlights I'm thinking we hit the gardens, the pools, the rooms full of jewels and beautiful serving maids…" he trailed off hopefully.
Donghae scratched his head, still more than a little confused but happy at least for the change of subject. "Tour? Well, Yesung would be the best one for that, once he's back from his leave of absence. And, ah, technically I'm not supposed to wander around the palace without an attendant anymore. There was a small incident, which personally I feel they blew way out of proportion..."
"Incident?"
"Yeah, I mean, I thought the scorch marks gave that priceless Third Dynasty rug even more character, but what do I know," Donghae waved one hand dismissively.
Hyukjae grinned, sly. "Put it this way, buddy. Either you give us the grand tour-"
"-Or we go off exploring on our own," Sungmin finished.
Thinking of the already infamous Plan-with a brief shiver of horror-Donghae thought it might be no bad thing if his friends' passes happened to get revoked. The downside to that was Donghae would go back to being all alone with only his miserable, depressing thoughts for company.
Donghae put on his best smile, spreading his arms. "Okay, then-pools first, or gardens?"
~*~
The prince propped his chin on his fist, resolutely not looking at his wristwatch or at the clock on the wall; rather, he focused all of his attention on the kitchen's sous chef listing their inventory needs for upcoming palace events. Siwon was determined to do his duty properly and well.
After a few minutes, however, his attention had slipped away again-there was no getting around the fact that the majority of these meetings were tedious as hell.
Normally, Siwon was excused from attendance, allowed during the school semester to focus on his studies instead. But this week was an exception, being obliged to stand in for his parents who were in the countryside spending time with the King's sister and her family. Allegedly, it was only a quiet weekend getaway for the King and Queen, but Siwon was well aware that the real reason for the visit was to coordinate a reciprocal trip for his aunt and cousins to come to the palace.
Old King Choi's health was fading quickly now, and, as it was the way things were done in this family, the children and grandchildren were to be formally brought together to pay their final respects. Siwon wasn't sure how he felt about that-mostly because he hadn't really had a free moment to sit quietly and process things; his schedule was so tightly packed. If he thought anything of it at all, it was to wonder how one could possibly say goodbye to an old man who had been more a monarch than a grandfather.
The prince never usually had so much difficulty in focusing his attentions where they ought to be; compartmentalizing was a skill he'd learned from an early age. More and more, however, he'd felt the stress bearing down on his body like a physical weight. He'd dismissed it as merely a lack of sleep, or concern with the family situation-but with the way his thoughts kept returning to the night of the accident and the argument he'd had with Donghae, Siwon couldn't help but suspect the cold knot that had taken residence in the pit of his stomach was actually just... guilt.
Shifting in his chair, Siwon was saved from both his own musings and having to pretend to be interested in grounds-keeping issues by Kyuhyun entering the room and moving discreetly to Siwon's side.
"Your Highness wished to be notified when Master Donghae's guests had been brought," the young aide murmured.
The prince nodded. "And the arrangements for this evening?"
"All is in order, your Highness."
Siwon lifted a hand in dismissal, and Kyuhyun left to finish the requested preparations. Realizing he felt somewhat satisfied by this news-he was even smiling a bit-he took a moment to adjust the cuffs of his shirt, until he was sure his expression was under his control again. It's not guilt, he thought, firmly. But even in the privacy of his mind it sounded unconvincing.
It was just that seeing Donghae moping around with that kicked-puppy look for the past few days, it was very distract-it was annoying, Siwon told himself, and frowned. Besides, it wasn't really a big deal: getting the security passes, having Donghae's two friends over for a low-key family dinner. He told himself it was only a polite gesture and not a passive sort of apology at all. Princes never made passive apologies-it would be unseemly.
The meeting. He had remembered something. "The charity banquet," Siwon spoke out, addressing the palace events coordinator, causing the woman to start and sit slightly taller in her seat. Apparently he wasn't the only one who found topiary sculptures to be a less than scintillating topic.
"For the Children's Orphanage," Siwon clarified. "I want it back on the schedule."
The coordinator didn't bat an eye, though his belated announcement had left her with less than two days to arrange a huge function and everything involved-guests, media, catering-but she only looked discomfited when she asked, with delicacy, "Of course, your Highness. And Master Donghae, he will be...?"
"Attending. Participating," Siwon said. And I don't care if he likes it or not; it's time for him to pull his weight around here.
"Very good, your Highness," the coordinator said, and she had already pulled out a handheld electronic organizer, making notes in it at lightning speed.
The meeting continued on for a while longer, until all staff members present had said their reports. the prince gave the call for any further questions or business. In the back of his mind, there was a small doubt that had persisted for weeks now; but each time he was given the opportunity to address the issue, Siwon chose to ignore it.
Siwon still hadn't told anyone-including his parents-that cousin Kibum was back in the country, out of self-imposed exile. And Siwon knew exactly what the reaction would be if he did: the Public Relations staff would devolve into a panic, alerting the entire extended family, suspicious that Kibum will have returned to wreak havoc on the royal family by denouncing them or causing some other sort of wildfire scandal.
Sometimes Siwon wondered if those were only his own suspicions. But as much as he misliked the new hardness in Kibum's smile-it had never been there when they'd grown up together like brothers-more than likely it was due to the circumstances of Kibum's past rather than any sort of ulterior motive. After all, it had been five years, and many things had changed.
By that time all the staffers had responded in the negative, and Siwon declared the meeting adjourned. One by one the others left the conference room, until finally Siwon was sitting alone, fingers steepled against his mouth and caught up in circular thinking, second-guessing himself many times over. Once, and only once, he wondered if this distrust of his cousin had anything to do with Kibum's sudden and easy closeness with Donghae-but Siwon pushed the idea away as soon as he'd thought it, because it was ridiculous.
In the end, the point was made moot. Kibum hadn't shown up at the palace since before the car accident, and Siwon wouldn't even have known Kibum had left from the estate at Jeju if the servants had not reported it so. Siwon could only wonder if the younger boy had decided to vanish as mysteriously as he'd appeared.
Here was another person in Siwon's life he'd never decided how to say goodbye to. Now it was already too late.
*
The prince was the first to arrive in the dining room that evening, though he'd had to forego changing his clothes because he'd lingered too long over his thoughts after the meeting. Donghae, who came in shortly after, had never really grasped the concept of formal dinner attire, anyway. Siwon would have to speak to him again before the King and Queen returned from their trip; Siwon didn't think his parents had ever dined with someone wearing cargo shorts and paint-smudged hightop sneakers in their lives.
Conceding to the company he was in, the prince sighed and unbuttoned his cuffs, rolling up his shirt sleeves. Donghae soon noticed Siwon's presence, looking surprised to see him.
"Siwon, I didn't think you'd be at dinner; you've been so busy lately." At least the other boy seemed pleased, although apparently Kyuhyun hadn't apprised him of the fact that this whole arrangement had been Siwon's idea.
And Siwon certainly wasn't going to tell him, either. "Yes, well. I managed to find some time," the prince said, smoothly.
Donghae suddenly moved closer, grabbing the prince's forearm. "So listen, my friends, you haven't actually met them in person before," he said, speaking low and urgently.
"Of course; it will be nice to-" Siwon's polite response was interrupted by Donghae emphatically shaking his head.
"No, no, you don't-" the other boy glanced over his shoulder, where the door to the dining hall was swinging open. "There's no time. Whatever you do, don't encourage them." As quickly as it had begun, their strange little interlude was over, as Donghae went to his friends to greet them and bring them to Siwon for an introduction.
"Oh my god, he's even better-looking in person," the blond one-Sungmin?-stage-whispered to Donghae, whose face looked as if he would find death by hyena preferable to living for another minute.
"No he's not," Donghae blurted, turning even redder once he'd registered his own words. He hurriedly faced Siwon, gesturing apologetically and nearly knocking over a vase of flowers on the table. "That is, what I meant was, you're equally as good-looking on TV. Or, you know, wherever." Donghae squirmed a bit, then his eyes darted towards a distraction. "Oh look, food," he said, sounding grateful. He pulled out one of the chairs, ducking over a plate and snatching up chopsticks as if they were a lifeline.
Smoothing away the smile that had quirked one corner of his mouth, Siwon moved more gracefully to his own place at the head of the table. It felt slightly uncomfortable to take that seat in the King's absence, but Siwon shrugged off the feeling. Sitting in a chair was the least of the things he'd been doing in his father's place as of late.
Donghae's former roommates were lively dinner guests, exclaiming over every new course that emerged from the kitchens as if it were culinary mana from the heavens. Towards the end of the meal, the two of them finally looked up from the food long enough to begin a conversation.
"So, Prince Siwon, did Donghae mention about the time I saved his life when we were kids?" Sungmin said, smirking a little.
Siwon's eyebrows lifted, glancing to Donghae for confirmation of this. Donghae stared back with wide, pleading eyes, making hasty nixing gestures with his hands, and Siwon recalled the warning given earlier: Don't encourage them.
Siwon looked back to Sungmin, not even having to feign his curiosity. "No. Do tell," he said, and in the corner of his eye he saw Donghae slump down in his chair, glaring death at Siwon.
"Well, Donghae used to get teased a lot in grade school, being chubby like he was," Sungmin began in a sympathetic tone.
"He was a porker," Hyukjae chimed in, nodding.
"You-" Donghae started, gesturing menacingly with his spoon-but apparently he changed his mind mid-threat, deciding that feigning deafness to the conversation was a better tactic, concentrating on his dessert instead.
"The school bullies were always ganging up on him, making fun of him-and of course Donghae only dug himself deeper by writing graffiti about them all over the school," Sungmin explained, his tone warming to the topic, obviously a nostalgic one.
So the delinquency started from an early age, Siwon thought, recalling the mural at the university and hiding a grin with his napkin.
"I came across a group of them pounding on Donghae behind the cafeteria at lunch one day-and given my heroic and charitable nature, I had to take a stand for the poor kid." Sungmin sighed. "It was tough, but someone had to teach those mean girls a lesson."
"And I suppose you all became good friends after that," the prince said.
"No, we became friends because we all had summer detention together that year: me for the fighting, Donghae for the graffiti, and Hyukjae-"
"I kicked a soccer ball through the window of the Principal's Office. Twice," Hyukjae stated with pride.
"On accident," Donghae scoffed, finally breaking his silence.
"Just the first time!"
"Both times, you wuss," Donghae argued back, beginning to laugh. "You didn't start getting into trouble on purpose until we came along."
Donghae was the sort of person who seemed to laugh with his whole body, Siwon decided, looking on. The other boy's face became animated, skin bright like it was touched with sunshine; even his eyes took part, lightening to honey-brown and dancing with mirth. Siwon had never met someone who laughed like that before.
Realizing he was staring, Siwon quickly tore his gaze away, and sipped from his water glass to disguise his sudden confusion. The three of them continued to trade insults back and forth, their air of comfortable camaraderie and history together making Siwon, observing them, feel somewhat wistful. And-though he didn't wish to admit it-more than a little envious.
The prince stood up abruptly. Donghae noticed and stood also, out of courtesy. Sungmin and Hyukjae belatedly followed suit. "You gentlemen must excuse me," Siwon said, "I still have some matters to attend to before I retire for the evening; I'll take my leave of you now."
The other two nodded, but Donghae was giving him a puzzled look. Trying not to feel chagrined-or like he was running away from something-Siwon bowed to the guests, and then walked out of the room.
~*~
Heart racing wildly, Donghae braced himself against the wall, moving millimeter by millimeter as he leaned around the corner, checking to see it was clear before breathing a huge sigh of relief.
It had taken several minutes of running and all his sneakiest tricks, but Donghae had finally managed to shake Sungmin and Hyukjae off his trail. As soon as the prince had left the dinner table, the two of them had pounced like rabid animals, demanding that Donghae listen to the latest details of their plan.
However, Donghae had taken one look at the pink, frilly dress in Sungmin' hands and bolted in the opposite direction, fleeing on pure survival instinct.
Figuring that his rooms would still be too dangerous to go back to, Donghae wandered a bit till he was fairly confident in his orientation, and then made his way to the palace library. It had lots of shelves-good for hiding behind-and, more importantly, several plush, comfortable chairs-good for resting.
The overhead lights in the library were dimmed for the night, but Donghae didn't mind it. The large windows on the far wall showed a clear view of the gardens, lit with from the ground with buttery pools of yellow that only emphasized the blanket of the night sky, black and full of stars like it never was when looking up from the heart of Seoul. It was as if the palace were on its own island, drifting by itself out into the universe.
A soft sound caused Donghae to turn away from the windows, paranoia-fueled adrenaline causing his blood to pump faster in his veins. But what he saw wasn't what he'd expected.
It was the prince, sitting at one of the large oak desks. Donghae put one hand flat to his chest, feeling the way his heart was still pounding, and moved closer. The prince's body was slumped forward, his head pillowed on one arm, eyes closed and breathing lightly. It took Donghae a second to puzzle out the odd position, because he'd never seen Siwon sleeping before. Donghae had begun to wonder if the other boy disdained sleep as a human weakness, and below him; but here was proof-he, too, was human.
Donghae stood frozen in place for a minute, staring. He didn't know how long he stood there for. When he moved again, it was to crouch down next to Siwon's chair, reaching out with the utmost care to pull the other boy's glasses from their skewed position on the bridge of his nose.
Folding the glasses and setting them atop of an open economics textbook, Donghae looked up into Siwon's face, seeing vulnerability and softness that was never shown when the prince was awake. Something so simple, but Donghae found his chest had seized up so tight that he could barely breathe.
Squeezing his eyes shut, just for a second, Donghae stood up. Moving slowly and quietly, he fetched one of the chenille blankets from the nearest armchair and draped it across Siwon's shoulders. He never stirred. Then, still moving carefully, Donghae walked to the library entrance and left.
As soon as the door had closed behind him, Donghae took off, almost running, retracing his path from before. His heart was in his throat, his mind completely blank, and Donghae didn't even realize until he stumbled across Sungmin and Hyukjae at the indoor pool that he'd been desperate to find them.
"There you are," Hyukjae called from his perch on the diving board. Donghae fell back against the blue-tiled wall, catching his breath. "We knew you couldn't stay away for long."
"We're too irresistible," Sungmin sighed. "This animal magnetism can be such a burden, sometimes."
Donghae, because his legs were shaking and didn't want to support him anymore, slid down the wall till he was sitting on the floor, grateful for the cool-slick feeling of the tiles next to his overheated skin.
Sungmin was the first to notice something wasn't right. He came out of the pool and knelt at Donghae's side, dripping water and smelling like chlorine. "Hey, what's the matter? You look like you just got run over by a Mac truck."
Donghae laughed for a second, and then his face collapsed like a deflated balloon. He pulled his knees up and buried his face against them, tears leaking into the fabric of his shorts. Everything had changed, even while nothing had changed. He was exactly the same as he'd always been-except that now he knew the secret he hadn't wanted to admit to himself-knew it like it was burned into his brain, undeniable and unforgettable.
"Hae? What happened?" Hyukjae had appeared on Donghae's other side, shaking his shoulder. "What's wrong? Talk to us, please."
Leaning back, Donghae scrubbed the traces of wetness off his cheeks, forcing a smile for his friends. "I give up. You guys win. I'll do what you say."
"What're you talking about?" Hyukjae said, looking baffled, but Sungmin was watching Donghae with a shrewd expression.
"This is about the prince, isn't it?"
Donghae nodded, feeling lost and anxious and thrilled and hopeless, all at the same time.
"Oh, you like him," Hyukjae caught on, sounding like he wasn't surprised in the least. "And you want him to like you back."
"Impossible, huh?" Donghae whispered, looking at his friends and wondering if he was this transparent to everyone. His hands curled into fists at his sides, and Donghae felt the cool bite of the ring on his finger. So close-and yet so, so far, as the saying would go.
"Tch," Hyukjae scoffed. "By the time we get through, that Prince will be eating chocolate pudding out your hands, guaranteed."
"Exactly," Sungmin said, grinning. "So don't you fret your pretty little head about a thing. You've come to the right place."
Despite the warm rush of gratitude, Donghae felt he should make one point perfectly clear. "I'm not wearing a dress; not under any circumstance."
Hyukjae may have muttered something about 'beggars' and 'choosers', but Donghae chose to ignore it. He was a man of conviction. Of principles.
"Wasn't there something in one of your plans about catching Siwon in the shower?" he mused aloud, and Sungmin immediately began to elaborate and draw out stick-figure diagrams with a wet finger on the tiles, with Hyukjae putting in suggestions every few seconds.
Donghae propped his chin on his knees, watching them both with a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and felt at home for the first time in a long while. He still felt a bit precarious, like shattered porcelain stuck back together with gum paste-but it was okay. Because Hyukjae and Sungmin were here, and they were going to fix this.
*
Considering the many gruesome and mortifying things that his roommates had planned for him in their original match-making scheme, Donghae, in retrospect, shouldn't have been so quick to blindly place his fate and his faith in their hands.
All this and more Donghae had plenty of time to reflect upon the very next day, after Hyukjae and Sungmin had shut Donghae up in what seemed to be a dusty, long-unused storage closet.
'Seemed to be', of course, because after fifteen minutes of running his hands along the filthy walls he found no trace of a light switch. So not only was he left to ponder his own stupidity-and the many ways he was going to dismember and maim his friends when he got out-he also had the privilege of doing so while sitting alone in the dark.
After what seemed like half a lifetime later, Donghae heard the muffled sounds of footsteps coming back down the hallway. Before he could shout for help, the door opened to the light just long enough to ruin Donghae's night vision and also push someone else inside, straight into Donghae's arms. Off-balanced and awkward in the confined space of the closet, Donghae instinctively wrapped around the other person, absorbing his momentum as they both went tumbling to the ground.
Quick as thought, the door was shut and locked again, and Donghae groaned more from the humiliation of being caught in such a lame trap then from having the prince's elbow digging into his solar plexus.
Because there was no doubt the person shut up in the closet with Donghae was Siwon-the familiar clean scent of the cologne that hit Donghae's nose was unmistakable. As an unneeded confirmation, Siwon called, "Donghae?" his voice sounding strange and intimate mere inches from Donghae's ear.
"That would be me," Donghae wheezed, grateful that the prince's knee hadn't jabbed him anywhere lower than his gut as the other boy attempted to untangle himself and stand up.
"I hate to ask the obvious question," Siwon said, his voice already taking on a tinge of exasperation, "But is this some sort of joke?"
Using one of the dusty supply shelves as leverage, Donghae managed to gain his feet as well. "Right in one, your lordship." Sarcasm wasn't usually his forte, but maybe Hyukjae and Sungmin's complete lack of subtlety had left Donghae feeling a bit out of sorts. Or maybe he'd spent too much time hanging out with Kibum last week.
There came a brief rattling sound as the prince tried the doorknob-which of course didn't budge-and then Siwon exhaled, hitting the door with the heel of his hand in frustration. "I absolutely do not have time for this nonsense," he muttered, and began to move around the small space. Donghae crammed into a corner as far as possible to avoid getting groped, assuming the prince was searching for the light switch that didn't exist.
"Of course you don't," Donghae snorted, more to himself than the prince, but Siwon heard the comment and paused.
"If you have something to say," the prince's voice came out of the dark, low and cool, and Donghae didn't need to see the prince's face to know what his expression would be, "By all means, please share it. There's no need to go to such lengths to get my attention."
Donghae stood gaping like a fish for a second-because that was both completely unfair and also probably sort of true-before moving forward mostly by feel, going by shadows and outlines to prod his finger somewhere in the vicinity of the prince's chest. "Okay, first of all," Donghae started, trying to keep his temper restrained but not quite succeeding, "I was tricked into this just like you were; and second, I'm actually not so sure I don't need lengths, with the way you've been avoiding me-"
"Avoiding?" Siwon echoed, sounding indignant.
"And third," Donghae raised his voice slightly, on a roll and not about to be interrupted, "I think maybe your life could use a little nonsense, sometimes. Nonsense might do you some good."
The prince was silent after Donghae finished speaking, and didn't fire off a scathing retort the way Donghae had more than half expected. It caused cold anxiety to prickle at his skin. Why can't I ever control myself around him? he wondered, and stood there awkwardly, rubbing his forearms to chase away the goosebumps.
"I apologize if I've neglected spending time with you," the prince said after a pause, his voice soft and unexpected. "Though at times it may not seem like it, I do understand, and I'm not unsympathetic to the fact that this is a difficult adjustment for you, even more so than for myself. I made a promise to help you as much as I could, and I've failed that responsibility."
Realizing that he should probably say something in response but unable to think of a single thing, Donghae continued to stand and blink like an idiot, wondering why he suddenly felt like crying. Or maybe sinking through the floor to escape. Is this how he thinks of me? Like I'm some kind of whining, lonely housewife?
Even knowing it was irrational and stupid, Donghae couldn't stop his heart from plummeting to his feet. The worst part was the grain of truth in it-because if he were being honest, he really did wish Siwon had more time for him. He wished Siwon had all the time in the world.
"Siwon," Donghae started, and that's when whatever noncommittal thing he'd been about to say suddenly derailed itself, so that he ended up blurting out the feelings he'd pent up for weeks; words he'd never meant to say out loud. "Look, I just. I want to get to know you. And I want you to know me. I hate the idea of spending my life with a stranger."
"So do I," the prince agreed, surprising Donghae once again. The other boy's hands found Donghae's shoulders and squeezed reassurance. Donghae soared with that small gesture, relief making his whole body go light. This was the longest conversation the two of them had shared since their argument, and Donghae was dazedly beginning to think that maybe Hyukjae and Sungmin weren't entirely nuts.
As if reading his mind, the prince went on to say, "I also wanted to apologize for the things I said on the night of the accident. My rudeness was inexcusable."
At this, Donghae shook his head in protest. "Are you kidding me? It was me, I was the one being a jackass. I picked a fight when anyone with sense would've seen you could barely stand."
"I was hardly incapacitated," the prince drawled, sounding amused.
Donghae wrinkled his nose. "Will you stop being all noble so I can apologize, too?" he complained, not caring that it defeated the purpose of his apology to scold the prince at the same time.
Siwon patted Donghae on the shoulder again, although with a distinctly more patronizing air than before. "You can make it up to me by keeping your friends and yourself out of trouble for five minutes. That would be a great help."
"Um, about that. Ha ha, it's funny, actually." Donghae said, clearing his throat. "So when I said I didn't have anything to do with this current situation, that might not have been, you know, factual."
Donghae could practically hear the sound of Siwon lifting his eyebrows, even if he couldn't quite see it. He stumbled on with his explanation, telling himself that honesty was the best policy, mortifying as it was. "That is, I didn't know know that my friends were going to lock us in a storage closet. That was a surprise. It's just, I might have been aware that they possibly would make an attempt. Of some kind."
At this confession, Siwon chuckled, seeming to be shaking his head. "Plausible deniability," he murmured.
"Plausi-what?" Donghae echoed, lost.
Siwon suddenly moved forward, his body against Donghae's backing him to the wall, arms braced on either side of Donghae's head. At close range, Donghae found out then, seeing in the dark becomes a hell of a lot easier.
"So tell me, Donghae," the prince commanded, leaning into Donghae close enough for him to feel the heat off Siwon's skin, the scent of cologne wrapping Donghae up like a blanket. "Why are your friends scheming to get us alone together?"
Donghae had to wait a second for the prince's question to register, because he'd been preoccupied with staring at the shadowed curves and hollows of Siwon's collarbone, dark like ink poured over his skin. Seeing that, Donghae imagined running a paintbrush along the contours of the other boy's neck, up to his jawline and along the bow of his upper lip, marking him like a living canvas.
Wondering when his mouth had gone dry, Donghae attempted a nonchalant shrug, while shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans before the urge to reach out and touch overwhelmed him. "Th-those guys? Even I'm not sure why they do all the crazy things they do." Donghae was quite pleased with his answer; it wasn't even a lie.
"Are you saying that amongst the three of you, you're not the mastermind?"
It wasn't fair, the things Siwon's voice, playful and low, were making Donghae feel-he'd been in this tiny space for quite a while, but only now was he beginning to feel flushed, claustrophobic. His heartbeat was echoing in his ears, unnaturally loud and fast, and if he were in an entirely coherent state of mind he probably wouldn't have replied with, "Even if it is my fault... do you really mind it that much?"
"It's not that…" Siwon began, sounding as if he were choosing his next words carefully; Donghae felt like an idiot: of course the prince hadn't meant to flirt-only intimidate.
But as the prince began to lean back, putting space between the two of them, Donghae reacted desperately, without thinking. His hands moved as if they didn't belong to him, fisting in Siwon's unbuttoned collar. He dragged the other boy back, bringing their bodies flush, and then Donghae was tilting his face up to Siwon's and they were kissing.
It was exactly what he'd wanted to do since the second that door had shut-since weeks ago, really-and it was exactly what he shouldn't do, when things had been going so well for a change. Now he'd probably just screwed everything all to hell. But Siwon's mouth was soft and warm and pliant, his lips parting when Donghae coaxed them to, and why, why, why hadn't he done this sooner?
In his next breath, Donghae released the prince, his back slamming into the wall again. "What was that sound?" he whispered, paranoid, heightened senses alert. But as soon as he'd asked the question, the noise returned, and Donghae recognized it at once. The sound was all too familiar and-just then-very, extremely unwelcome.
"I miss you more than I
Missed you before and now,
Where I'll find comfort, God knows.
'Cause you~ left me,
Just when I needed you most..."
Sungmin, out of all the moments possible, had picked now to start singing one of his sappier love ballads, strumming along on his guitar like some sort of wayward minstrel. Donghae was going to strangle Sungmin with his bare hands.
That's when the realization hit: here they were, locked in a storage closet, because of Donghae's insane friends who could talk him into anything; and now those friends were singing-very loudly-out in the hallway of the Royal palace, and Donghae had just kissed the prince, whom he was technically sort of married to. Donghae's life had never before seemed more surreal or out of his control than it did in that moment.
It was so bizarre, in fact, that he forgot to be embarrassed about it-even when Siwon cleared his throat, two times, and then asked, "The reason your friend is out there singing that song-does that have anything to do with why you kissed me?"
Clearly, Siwon suspected the whole thing was some sort of practical joke at his expense, when obviously he couldn't be more wrong-the joke was on Donghae, and had been since the beginning.
"They might be related," Donghae confessed reluctantly, watching the outline of the prince's face blur once more into shadow as he stepped back. Donghae felt helpless to fix the misunderstanding, because he was scared that Siwon would be angry whichever way he spun it.
The worst part of it, though, was that all he wanted to do-all he could think of-was kissing Siwon again. Donghae bit his lip, unsuccessfully trying to sting away the memory of Siwon's mouth, wondering if it was possible to get addicted to something after only having it for five seconds.
Donghae didn't do so well with addiction. The first and only time he'd tried to quit caffeine, the summer after his freshman year at university, he'd ended up accidentally setting fire to the kitchen of the apartment-an experiment with herbal tea gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Siwon thankfully let the subject drop in favor of more pressing concerns. He turned to the closet door, pounding on it with one hand. "You out there, Lee Sungmin. Can you hear me?"
The music stopped. Sungmin's voice came through the door, muffled and far too cheerful-sounding. "I can hear you, your Highness."
"In that case, Lee Sungmin, listen to me closely. I have a proposition for you..."
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© 2009
| Next chapter >> |
a/n: For everyone (anyone? lol) that was waiting for this, I'm very sorry for the long hiatus.
YOUTUBE: Sungmin singing the song on Star King*
6/01/2010 - this chapter is the edited and reposted version of the original.
Author: phasera
Pairing: Siwon/Donghae
Summary: (AU) Loosely inspired by the k-drama Princess Hours.
Chapters: o1 | o2 | o3 | o4 | o5 | o6 | o7 | o8 | o9 | 10 | #
Note: This story is incomplete, and I will not be working on it anytime soon. I appreciate the readers who still enjoy this fic, and I'm very sorry I cannot promise you a conclusion.
------------------------Chapter 9------------------------
"Why does life hate me?" Donghae sighed at the blue-furred bear that he was currently holding above his head. The stuffed animal only gazed down at Donghae with his button-black eyes and gave silence as an answer.
As usual, Donghae found Mr. Bear to be extremely profound, in his somber little way.
Bored, Donghae tossed Mr. Bear across the room-he had cotton for insides, he could handle it-and tucked his arms behind his head, left with only the white-spackled ceiling to contemplate. Donghae probably had every topographical detail of that ceiling memorized already. There weren't many other things to occupy his time, after all, and he'd already finished sorting through the prince's latest stack of fan mail hours ago. As it had only been a few days since the car-accident, the gifts mainly consisted of brightly colored stuffed animals, bouquets of flowers, and thousands upon thousands of Get Well cards.
Kyuhyun had left the job of mail-sorting to Donghae, being himself occupied with taking over Yesung's duties while the older aide was still recovering from his injury. Donghae didn't mind. He mostly just ate all of the candy-taste-testing for poisons, he justified-and piled the rest into the corners of his room. As a result, it looked more as if Donghae had been the victim of a car-wreck than the prince.
Sometimes Donghae almost wished that Siwon had been roughed up a little more than bruises and scrapes; at least then he'd have been forced to take the time to rest, recover his health. But the prince had merely seemed to take it all in stride, as he did with everything else in life. Because heaven forefend that nearly getting killed-or getting married, a traitorous part of Donghae added-should interfere with the smooth running of the palace.
Realizing he was wallowing again-which he'd been under strict self-imposed orders to avoid-Donghae pulled one of his crumpled pillows over his face to muffle a brief but therapeutic scream of frustration.
The sounds of people entering the courtyard seemed at that moment like a gift of distraction sent straight from Divinity. A familiar voice calling out, "Hello? Donghae? We've arrived, so hurry up and come greet us," lent immediate speed to Donghae's feet, and he quickly tumbled out of his bed and all but ran out of the open doorway.
Sungmin and Hyukjae were both standing inside the courtyard, looking around like small excited children on their first trip to the zoo.
"Oh my god, Donghae, this is where you live?" Hyukjae exclaimed, as if he hadn't forced Donghae to describe the palace and all its multi-faceted glory half a dozen times over the phone.
Sungmin standing with his hands on his hips gave a low, impressed whistle. "I like the fountain, it's a nice touch. Very Louis the XIVth."
Donghae, to hide the fact that his eyes had started to mist over from the sheer relief of having them there, grabbed Hyukjae and Sungmin into a tight hug, squeezing until both his roommates laughed and threatened to pass out from lack of oxygen.
"You have no idea how good it is to see you guys," Donghae managed to say, once he'd released them.
"Of course we know," Hyukjae scoffed, grinning. "We're always good to see."
"Also, we might have had a slight clue from your nine-thousand texts every day saying 'Bored! Entertain me!'" Sungmin rolled his eyes. "Though how anybody could be bored with all this, I have no idea."
Kyuhyun came stumbling to the entrance then, loaded down like a packhorse under the weight of several bright pink suitcases, and one shabby-looking duffel that appeared to be slung around his neck like an afterthought. "I'll just put these in the guest bedrooms, shall I?" the aide wheezed, disappearing back down the hallway.
Donghae could feel his surprise showing on his face. "Suitcases? You're both staying here?"
"You didn't really think we'd let an opportunity like this pass by, did you? When Kyuhyun came this morning with the cleared visitor's passes, we had our stuff packed and ready in five minutes," Hyukjae explained.
"Besides," Sungmin said, slinging an arm around Donghae's shoulders and lowering his tone confidentially, "We haven't forgotten that special promise we made you. That's going to take around-the-clock effort, we already know."
Donghae blinked for a second, and then his arms began to prickle with goosebumps of dread. "I don't-now, hold on a minute," he stammered, putting up his arms as if the gesture could ward either of them off.
"Ta-da!" Hyukjae said, pulling a long rolled-up paper out of what might have been his sleeve. He snapped it open with a flourish to reveal a colorful diagram full of scribbles, notes, and stick-figure drawings in positions that Donghae was afraid to examine too closely.
"As you can see," Sungmin said, the arm around Donghae's shoulders casually tightening as Donghae's body instinctively tried to flee. "We… have a Plan."
Indeed, the title across the top of the paper read: Plan to Get Prince and Donghae into Bed, outlined with glittery markers and happy-face stickers. Donghae could only stare at it, helpless and horrified. "I think my eyes are literally burning, right now."
Sungmin petted Donghae's hair soothingly. "It's okay now, we're here for you."
Hyukjae pouted at the unenthusiastic reaction. "If we're going to save your marriage the least you could do is thank us."
Donghae felt feverish and cold in swift succession. This was going to get bad. "Can't, too busy wishing for death," Donghae answered, numb.
"Oh that's good," Sungmin beamed, hugging him. "That's actually Phase One of our plan!"
Donghae whimpered.
"It's totally genius, now listen." Hyukjae set aside the poster, and Sungmin pushed Donghae onto a nearby bench so they could act out the plan with pantomime as Hyukjae explained it. "Okay, so first, all you have to do is pretend to drown in the pool."
So saying, Hyukjae flailed his arms wildly-which put Donghae more in mind of a baby orangutan than a drowning person, and God, why couldn't he make himself stop watching?-and then Sungmin grabbed Hyukjae and heroically cradled the younger boy to his chest.
"That's when the prince can jump in and save you," Hyukjae said, and swooned, batting his eyelashes furiously up at Sungmin, who did a pretty good impression of one of Siwon's sneers.
"And then…" Hyukjae hushed for dramatic effect, while Sungmin leaned over him ominously, "…C-P-R!"
Donghae jumped to his feet before they could finish their playacted climax. "How about let's not," he blurted, feeling his cheeks warm.
Sungmin dropped Hyukjae ungracefully, facing Donghae with a familiar stubborn glint. "And why not?"
Donghae scrambled for an excuse. "Because… because I know how to swim pretty well. So it lacks, um, believability?"
"He's right," Hyukjae agreed from the floor, propping himself up on his elbows and puffing hair out of his face. "That would probably look suspicious."
"We could knock him semi-unconscious first?" Sungmin suggested, and Donghae really wished he could believe that was a joke.
Hyukjae only shot Sungmin a dark glare. "Remember the last time you tried giving Donghae a head wound?"
"Oh," Sungmin said, dropping his gaze with a shamed expression, "Yeah."
Donghae was baffled, to say the least. "What the hell are you guys talking about?"
Hyukjae and Sungmin exchanged a look between them, and Donghae really, really hated it when they did that. "If you don't remember, then trust me, it's for the best," Hyukjae told Donghae, standing up and dusting off.
"Well, I guess the drowning plan is out," Sungmin sighed, looking far too disappointed for Donghae's peace of mind.
"It was never in! And would you two please stop trying to kill me?"
Thankfully, Hyukjae rolled up the poster and put it back wherever it had appeared from. "Let's just not worry about all that right now. How about a tour first? For highlights I'm thinking we hit the gardens, the pools, the rooms full of jewels and beautiful serving maids…" he trailed off hopefully.
Donghae scratched his head, still more than a little confused but happy at least for the change of subject. "Tour? Well, Yesung would be the best one for that, once he's back from his leave of absence. And, ah, technically I'm not supposed to wander around the palace without an attendant anymore. There was a small incident, which personally I feel they blew way out of proportion..."
"Incident?"
"Yeah, I mean, I thought the scorch marks gave that priceless Third Dynasty rug even more character, but what do I know," Donghae waved one hand dismissively.
Hyukjae grinned, sly. "Put it this way, buddy. Either you give us the grand tour-"
"-Or we go off exploring on our own," Sungmin finished.
Thinking of the already infamous Plan-with a brief shiver of horror-Donghae thought it might be no bad thing if his friends' passes happened to get revoked. The downside to that was Donghae would go back to being all alone with only his miserable, depressing thoughts for company.
Donghae put on his best smile, spreading his arms. "Okay, then-pools first, or gardens?"
~*~
The prince propped his chin on his fist, resolutely not looking at his wristwatch or at the clock on the wall; rather, he focused all of his attention on the kitchen's sous chef listing their inventory needs for upcoming palace events. Siwon was determined to do his duty properly and well.
After a few minutes, however, his attention had slipped away again-there was no getting around the fact that the majority of these meetings were tedious as hell.
Normally, Siwon was excused from attendance, allowed during the school semester to focus on his studies instead. But this week was an exception, being obliged to stand in for his parents who were in the countryside spending time with the King's sister and her family. Allegedly, it was only a quiet weekend getaway for the King and Queen, but Siwon was well aware that the real reason for the visit was to coordinate a reciprocal trip for his aunt and cousins to come to the palace.
Old King Choi's health was fading quickly now, and, as it was the way things were done in this family, the children and grandchildren were to be formally brought together to pay their final respects. Siwon wasn't sure how he felt about that-mostly because he hadn't really had a free moment to sit quietly and process things; his schedule was so tightly packed. If he thought anything of it at all, it was to wonder how one could possibly say goodbye to an old man who had been more a monarch than a grandfather.
The prince never usually had so much difficulty in focusing his attentions where they ought to be; compartmentalizing was a skill he'd learned from an early age. More and more, however, he'd felt the stress bearing down on his body like a physical weight. He'd dismissed it as merely a lack of sleep, or concern with the family situation-but with the way his thoughts kept returning to the night of the accident and the argument he'd had with Donghae, Siwon couldn't help but suspect the cold knot that had taken residence in the pit of his stomach was actually just... guilt.
Shifting in his chair, Siwon was saved from both his own musings and having to pretend to be interested in grounds-keeping issues by Kyuhyun entering the room and moving discreetly to Siwon's side.
"Your Highness wished to be notified when Master Donghae's guests had been brought," the young aide murmured.
The prince nodded. "And the arrangements for this evening?"
"All is in order, your Highness."
Siwon lifted a hand in dismissal, and Kyuhyun left to finish the requested preparations. Realizing he felt somewhat satisfied by this news-he was even smiling a bit-he took a moment to adjust the cuffs of his shirt, until he was sure his expression was under his control again. It's not guilt, he thought, firmly. But even in the privacy of his mind it sounded unconvincing.
It was just that seeing Donghae moping around with that kicked-puppy look for the past few days, it was very distract-it was annoying, Siwon told himself, and frowned. Besides, it wasn't really a big deal: getting the security passes, having Donghae's two friends over for a low-key family dinner. He told himself it was only a polite gesture and not a passive sort of apology at all. Princes never made passive apologies-it would be unseemly.
The meeting. He had remembered something. "The charity banquet," Siwon spoke out, addressing the palace events coordinator, causing the woman to start and sit slightly taller in her seat. Apparently he wasn't the only one who found topiary sculptures to be a less than scintillating topic.
"For the Children's Orphanage," Siwon clarified. "I want it back on the schedule."
The coordinator didn't bat an eye, though his belated announcement had left her with less than two days to arrange a huge function and everything involved-guests, media, catering-but she only looked discomfited when she asked, with delicacy, "Of course, your Highness. And Master Donghae, he will be...?"
"Attending. Participating," Siwon said. And I don't care if he likes it or not; it's time for him to pull his weight around here.
"Very good, your Highness," the coordinator said, and she had already pulled out a handheld electronic organizer, making notes in it at lightning speed.
The meeting continued on for a while longer, until all staff members present had said their reports. the prince gave the call for any further questions or business. In the back of his mind, there was a small doubt that had persisted for weeks now; but each time he was given the opportunity to address the issue, Siwon chose to ignore it.
Siwon still hadn't told anyone-including his parents-that cousin Kibum was back in the country, out of self-imposed exile. And Siwon knew exactly what the reaction would be if he did: the Public Relations staff would devolve into a panic, alerting the entire extended family, suspicious that Kibum will have returned to wreak havoc on the royal family by denouncing them or causing some other sort of wildfire scandal.
Sometimes Siwon wondered if those were only his own suspicions. But as much as he misliked the new hardness in Kibum's smile-it had never been there when they'd grown up together like brothers-more than likely it was due to the circumstances of Kibum's past rather than any sort of ulterior motive. After all, it had been five years, and many things had changed.
By that time all the staffers had responded in the negative, and Siwon declared the meeting adjourned. One by one the others left the conference room, until finally Siwon was sitting alone, fingers steepled against his mouth and caught up in circular thinking, second-guessing himself many times over. Once, and only once, he wondered if this distrust of his cousin had anything to do with Kibum's sudden and easy closeness with Donghae-but Siwon pushed the idea away as soon as he'd thought it, because it was ridiculous.
In the end, the point was made moot. Kibum hadn't shown up at the palace since before the car accident, and Siwon wouldn't even have known Kibum had left from the estate at Jeju if the servants had not reported it so. Siwon could only wonder if the younger boy had decided to vanish as mysteriously as he'd appeared.
Here was another person in Siwon's life he'd never decided how to say goodbye to. Now it was already too late.
*
The prince was the first to arrive in the dining room that evening, though he'd had to forego changing his clothes because he'd lingered too long over his thoughts after the meeting. Donghae, who came in shortly after, had never really grasped the concept of formal dinner attire, anyway. Siwon would have to speak to him again before the King and Queen returned from their trip; Siwon didn't think his parents had ever dined with someone wearing cargo shorts and paint-smudged hightop sneakers in their lives.
Conceding to the company he was in, the prince sighed and unbuttoned his cuffs, rolling up his shirt sleeves. Donghae soon noticed Siwon's presence, looking surprised to see him.
"Siwon, I didn't think you'd be at dinner; you've been so busy lately." At least the other boy seemed pleased, although apparently Kyuhyun hadn't apprised him of the fact that this whole arrangement had been Siwon's idea.
And Siwon certainly wasn't going to tell him, either. "Yes, well. I managed to find some time," the prince said, smoothly.
Donghae suddenly moved closer, grabbing the prince's forearm. "So listen, my friends, you haven't actually met them in person before," he said, speaking low and urgently.
"Of course; it will be nice to-" Siwon's polite response was interrupted by Donghae emphatically shaking his head.
"No, no, you don't-" the other boy glanced over his shoulder, where the door to the dining hall was swinging open. "There's no time. Whatever you do, don't encourage them." As quickly as it had begun, their strange little interlude was over, as Donghae went to his friends to greet them and bring them to Siwon for an introduction.
"Oh my god, he's even better-looking in person," the blond one-Sungmin?-stage-whispered to Donghae, whose face looked as if he would find death by hyena preferable to living for another minute.
"No he's not," Donghae blurted, turning even redder once he'd registered his own words. He hurriedly faced Siwon, gesturing apologetically and nearly knocking over a vase of flowers on the table. "That is, what I meant was, you're equally as good-looking on TV. Or, you know, wherever." Donghae squirmed a bit, then his eyes darted towards a distraction. "Oh look, food," he said, sounding grateful. He pulled out one of the chairs, ducking over a plate and snatching up chopsticks as if they were a lifeline.
Smoothing away the smile that had quirked one corner of his mouth, Siwon moved more gracefully to his own place at the head of the table. It felt slightly uncomfortable to take that seat in the King's absence, but Siwon shrugged off the feeling. Sitting in a chair was the least of the things he'd been doing in his father's place as of late.
Donghae's former roommates were lively dinner guests, exclaiming over every new course that emerged from the kitchens as if it were culinary mana from the heavens. Towards the end of the meal, the two of them finally looked up from the food long enough to begin a conversation.
"So, Prince Siwon, did Donghae mention about the time I saved his life when we were kids?" Sungmin said, smirking a little.
Siwon's eyebrows lifted, glancing to Donghae for confirmation of this. Donghae stared back with wide, pleading eyes, making hasty nixing gestures with his hands, and Siwon recalled the warning given earlier: Don't encourage them.
Siwon looked back to Sungmin, not even having to feign his curiosity. "No. Do tell," he said, and in the corner of his eye he saw Donghae slump down in his chair, glaring death at Siwon.
"Well, Donghae used to get teased a lot in grade school, being chubby like he was," Sungmin began in a sympathetic tone.
"He was a porker," Hyukjae chimed in, nodding.
"You-" Donghae started, gesturing menacingly with his spoon-but apparently he changed his mind mid-threat, deciding that feigning deafness to the conversation was a better tactic, concentrating on his dessert instead.
"The school bullies were always ganging up on him, making fun of him-and of course Donghae only dug himself deeper by writing graffiti about them all over the school," Sungmin explained, his tone warming to the topic, obviously a nostalgic one.
So the delinquency started from an early age, Siwon thought, recalling the mural at the university and hiding a grin with his napkin.
"I came across a group of them pounding on Donghae behind the cafeteria at lunch one day-and given my heroic and charitable nature, I had to take a stand for the poor kid." Sungmin sighed. "It was tough, but someone had to teach those mean girls a lesson."
"And I suppose you all became good friends after that," the prince said.
"No, we became friends because we all had summer detention together that year: me for the fighting, Donghae for the graffiti, and Hyukjae-"
"I kicked a soccer ball through the window of the Principal's Office. Twice," Hyukjae stated with pride.
"On accident," Donghae scoffed, finally breaking his silence.
"Just the first time!"
"Both times, you wuss," Donghae argued back, beginning to laugh. "You didn't start getting into trouble on purpose until we came along."
Donghae was the sort of person who seemed to laugh with his whole body, Siwon decided, looking on. The other boy's face became animated, skin bright like it was touched with sunshine; even his eyes took part, lightening to honey-brown and dancing with mirth. Siwon had never met someone who laughed like that before.
Realizing he was staring, Siwon quickly tore his gaze away, and sipped from his water glass to disguise his sudden confusion. The three of them continued to trade insults back and forth, their air of comfortable camaraderie and history together making Siwon, observing them, feel somewhat wistful. And-though he didn't wish to admit it-more than a little envious.
The prince stood up abruptly. Donghae noticed and stood also, out of courtesy. Sungmin and Hyukjae belatedly followed suit. "You gentlemen must excuse me," Siwon said, "I still have some matters to attend to before I retire for the evening; I'll take my leave of you now."
The other two nodded, but Donghae was giving him a puzzled look. Trying not to feel chagrined-or like he was running away from something-Siwon bowed to the guests, and then walked out of the room.
~*~
Heart racing wildly, Donghae braced himself against the wall, moving millimeter by millimeter as he leaned around the corner, checking to see it was clear before breathing a huge sigh of relief.
It had taken several minutes of running and all his sneakiest tricks, but Donghae had finally managed to shake Sungmin and Hyukjae off his trail. As soon as the prince had left the dinner table, the two of them had pounced like rabid animals, demanding that Donghae listen to the latest details of their plan.
However, Donghae had taken one look at the pink, frilly dress in Sungmin' hands and bolted in the opposite direction, fleeing on pure survival instinct.
Figuring that his rooms would still be too dangerous to go back to, Donghae wandered a bit till he was fairly confident in his orientation, and then made his way to the palace library. It had lots of shelves-good for hiding behind-and, more importantly, several plush, comfortable chairs-good for resting.
The overhead lights in the library were dimmed for the night, but Donghae didn't mind it. The large windows on the far wall showed a clear view of the gardens, lit with from the ground with buttery pools of yellow that only emphasized the blanket of the night sky, black and full of stars like it never was when looking up from the heart of Seoul. It was as if the palace were on its own island, drifting by itself out into the universe.
A soft sound caused Donghae to turn away from the windows, paranoia-fueled adrenaline causing his blood to pump faster in his veins. But what he saw wasn't what he'd expected.
It was the prince, sitting at one of the large oak desks. Donghae put one hand flat to his chest, feeling the way his heart was still pounding, and moved closer. The prince's body was slumped forward, his head pillowed on one arm, eyes closed and breathing lightly. It took Donghae a second to puzzle out the odd position, because he'd never seen Siwon sleeping before. Donghae had begun to wonder if the other boy disdained sleep as a human weakness, and below him; but here was proof-he, too, was human.
Donghae stood frozen in place for a minute, staring. He didn't know how long he stood there for. When he moved again, it was to crouch down next to Siwon's chair, reaching out with the utmost care to pull the other boy's glasses from their skewed position on the bridge of his nose.
Folding the glasses and setting them atop of an open economics textbook, Donghae looked up into Siwon's face, seeing vulnerability and softness that was never shown when the prince was awake. Something so simple, but Donghae found his chest had seized up so tight that he could barely breathe.
Squeezing his eyes shut, just for a second, Donghae stood up. Moving slowly and quietly, he fetched one of the chenille blankets from the nearest armchair and draped it across Siwon's shoulders. He never stirred. Then, still moving carefully, Donghae walked to the library entrance and left.
As soon as the door had closed behind him, Donghae took off, almost running, retracing his path from before. His heart was in his throat, his mind completely blank, and Donghae didn't even realize until he stumbled across Sungmin and Hyukjae at the indoor pool that he'd been desperate to find them.
"There you are," Hyukjae called from his perch on the diving board. Donghae fell back against the blue-tiled wall, catching his breath. "We knew you couldn't stay away for long."
"We're too irresistible," Sungmin sighed. "This animal magnetism can be such a burden, sometimes."
Donghae, because his legs were shaking and didn't want to support him anymore, slid down the wall till he was sitting on the floor, grateful for the cool-slick feeling of the tiles next to his overheated skin.
Sungmin was the first to notice something wasn't right. He came out of the pool and knelt at Donghae's side, dripping water and smelling like chlorine. "Hey, what's the matter? You look like you just got run over by a Mac truck."
Donghae laughed for a second, and then his face collapsed like a deflated balloon. He pulled his knees up and buried his face against them, tears leaking into the fabric of his shorts. Everything had changed, even while nothing had changed. He was exactly the same as he'd always been-except that now he knew the secret he hadn't wanted to admit to himself-knew it like it was burned into his brain, undeniable and unforgettable.
"Hae? What happened?" Hyukjae had appeared on Donghae's other side, shaking his shoulder. "What's wrong? Talk to us, please."
Leaning back, Donghae scrubbed the traces of wetness off his cheeks, forcing a smile for his friends. "I give up. You guys win. I'll do what you say."
"What're you talking about?" Hyukjae said, looking baffled, but Sungmin was watching Donghae with a shrewd expression.
"This is about the prince, isn't it?"
Donghae nodded, feeling lost and anxious and thrilled and hopeless, all at the same time.
"Oh, you like him," Hyukjae caught on, sounding like he wasn't surprised in the least. "And you want him to like you back."
"Impossible, huh?" Donghae whispered, looking at his friends and wondering if he was this transparent to everyone. His hands curled into fists at his sides, and Donghae felt the cool bite of the ring on his finger. So close-and yet so, so far, as the saying would go.
"Tch," Hyukjae scoffed. "By the time we get through, that Prince will be eating chocolate pudding out your hands, guaranteed."
"Exactly," Sungmin said, grinning. "So don't you fret your pretty little head about a thing. You've come to the right place."
Despite the warm rush of gratitude, Donghae felt he should make one point perfectly clear. "I'm not wearing a dress; not under any circumstance."
Hyukjae may have muttered something about 'beggars' and 'choosers', but Donghae chose to ignore it. He was a man of conviction. Of principles.
"Wasn't there something in one of your plans about catching Siwon in the shower?" he mused aloud, and Sungmin immediately began to elaborate and draw out stick-figure diagrams with a wet finger on the tiles, with Hyukjae putting in suggestions every few seconds.
Donghae propped his chin on his knees, watching them both with a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and felt at home for the first time in a long while. He still felt a bit precarious, like shattered porcelain stuck back together with gum paste-but it was okay. Because Hyukjae and Sungmin were here, and they were going to fix this.
*
Considering the many gruesome and mortifying things that his roommates had planned for him in their original match-making scheme, Donghae, in retrospect, shouldn't have been so quick to blindly place his fate and his faith in their hands.
All this and more Donghae had plenty of time to reflect upon the very next day, after Hyukjae and Sungmin had shut Donghae up in what seemed to be a dusty, long-unused storage closet.
'Seemed to be', of course, because after fifteen minutes of running his hands along the filthy walls he found no trace of a light switch. So not only was he left to ponder his own stupidity-and the many ways he was going to dismember and maim his friends when he got out-he also had the privilege of doing so while sitting alone in the dark.
After what seemed like half a lifetime later, Donghae heard the muffled sounds of footsteps coming back down the hallway. Before he could shout for help, the door opened to the light just long enough to ruin Donghae's night vision and also push someone else inside, straight into Donghae's arms. Off-balanced and awkward in the confined space of the closet, Donghae instinctively wrapped around the other person, absorbing his momentum as they both went tumbling to the ground.
Quick as thought, the door was shut and locked again, and Donghae groaned more from the humiliation of being caught in such a lame trap then from having the prince's elbow digging into his solar plexus.
Because there was no doubt the person shut up in the closet with Donghae was Siwon-the familiar clean scent of the cologne that hit Donghae's nose was unmistakable. As an unneeded confirmation, Siwon called, "Donghae?" his voice sounding strange and intimate mere inches from Donghae's ear.
"That would be me," Donghae wheezed, grateful that the prince's knee hadn't jabbed him anywhere lower than his gut as the other boy attempted to untangle himself and stand up.
"I hate to ask the obvious question," Siwon said, his voice already taking on a tinge of exasperation, "But is this some sort of joke?"
Using one of the dusty supply shelves as leverage, Donghae managed to gain his feet as well. "Right in one, your lordship." Sarcasm wasn't usually his forte, but maybe Hyukjae and Sungmin's complete lack of subtlety had left Donghae feeling a bit out of sorts. Or maybe he'd spent too much time hanging out with Kibum last week.
There came a brief rattling sound as the prince tried the doorknob-which of course didn't budge-and then Siwon exhaled, hitting the door with the heel of his hand in frustration. "I absolutely do not have time for this nonsense," he muttered, and began to move around the small space. Donghae crammed into a corner as far as possible to avoid getting groped, assuming the prince was searching for the light switch that didn't exist.
"Of course you don't," Donghae snorted, more to himself than the prince, but Siwon heard the comment and paused.
"If you have something to say," the prince's voice came out of the dark, low and cool, and Donghae didn't need to see the prince's face to know what his expression would be, "By all means, please share it. There's no need to go to such lengths to get my attention."
Donghae stood gaping like a fish for a second-because that was both completely unfair and also probably sort of true-before moving forward mostly by feel, going by shadows and outlines to prod his finger somewhere in the vicinity of the prince's chest. "Okay, first of all," Donghae started, trying to keep his temper restrained but not quite succeeding, "I was tricked into this just like you were; and second, I'm actually not so sure I don't need lengths, with the way you've been avoiding me-"
"Avoiding?" Siwon echoed, sounding indignant.
"And third," Donghae raised his voice slightly, on a roll and not about to be interrupted, "I think maybe your life could use a little nonsense, sometimes. Nonsense might do you some good."
The prince was silent after Donghae finished speaking, and didn't fire off a scathing retort the way Donghae had more than half expected. It caused cold anxiety to prickle at his skin. Why can't I ever control myself around him? he wondered, and stood there awkwardly, rubbing his forearms to chase away the goosebumps.
"I apologize if I've neglected spending time with you," the prince said after a pause, his voice soft and unexpected. "Though at times it may not seem like it, I do understand, and I'm not unsympathetic to the fact that this is a difficult adjustment for you, even more so than for myself. I made a promise to help you as much as I could, and I've failed that responsibility."
Realizing that he should probably say something in response but unable to think of a single thing, Donghae continued to stand and blink like an idiot, wondering why he suddenly felt like crying. Or maybe sinking through the floor to escape. Is this how he thinks of me? Like I'm some kind of whining, lonely housewife?
Even knowing it was irrational and stupid, Donghae couldn't stop his heart from plummeting to his feet. The worst part was the grain of truth in it-because if he were being honest, he really did wish Siwon had more time for him. He wished Siwon had all the time in the world.
"Siwon," Donghae started, and that's when whatever noncommittal thing he'd been about to say suddenly derailed itself, so that he ended up blurting out the feelings he'd pent up for weeks; words he'd never meant to say out loud. "Look, I just. I want to get to know you. And I want you to know me. I hate the idea of spending my life with a stranger."
"So do I," the prince agreed, surprising Donghae once again. The other boy's hands found Donghae's shoulders and squeezed reassurance. Donghae soared with that small gesture, relief making his whole body go light. This was the longest conversation the two of them had shared since their argument, and Donghae was dazedly beginning to think that maybe Hyukjae and Sungmin weren't entirely nuts.
As if reading his mind, the prince went on to say, "I also wanted to apologize for the things I said on the night of the accident. My rudeness was inexcusable."
At this, Donghae shook his head in protest. "Are you kidding me? It was me, I was the one being a jackass. I picked a fight when anyone with sense would've seen you could barely stand."
"I was hardly incapacitated," the prince drawled, sounding amused.
Donghae wrinkled his nose. "Will you stop being all noble so I can apologize, too?" he complained, not caring that it defeated the purpose of his apology to scold the prince at the same time.
Siwon patted Donghae on the shoulder again, although with a distinctly more patronizing air than before. "You can make it up to me by keeping your friends and yourself out of trouble for five minutes. That would be a great help."
"Um, about that. Ha ha, it's funny, actually." Donghae said, clearing his throat. "So when I said I didn't have anything to do with this current situation, that might not have been, you know, factual."
Donghae could practically hear the sound of Siwon lifting his eyebrows, even if he couldn't quite see it. He stumbled on with his explanation, telling himself that honesty was the best policy, mortifying as it was. "That is, I didn't know know that my friends were going to lock us in a storage closet. That was a surprise. It's just, I might have been aware that they possibly would make an attempt. Of some kind."
At this confession, Siwon chuckled, seeming to be shaking his head. "Plausible deniability," he murmured.
"Plausi-what?" Donghae echoed, lost.
Siwon suddenly moved forward, his body against Donghae's backing him to the wall, arms braced on either side of Donghae's head. At close range, Donghae found out then, seeing in the dark becomes a hell of a lot easier.
"So tell me, Donghae," the prince commanded, leaning into Donghae close enough for him to feel the heat off Siwon's skin, the scent of cologne wrapping Donghae up like a blanket. "Why are your friends scheming to get us alone together?"
Donghae had to wait a second for the prince's question to register, because he'd been preoccupied with staring at the shadowed curves and hollows of Siwon's collarbone, dark like ink poured over his skin. Seeing that, Donghae imagined running a paintbrush along the contours of the other boy's neck, up to his jawline and along the bow of his upper lip, marking him like a living canvas.
Wondering when his mouth had gone dry, Donghae attempted a nonchalant shrug, while shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans before the urge to reach out and touch overwhelmed him. "Th-those guys? Even I'm not sure why they do all the crazy things they do." Donghae was quite pleased with his answer; it wasn't even a lie.
"Are you saying that amongst the three of you, you're not the mastermind?"
It wasn't fair, the things Siwon's voice, playful and low, were making Donghae feel-he'd been in this tiny space for quite a while, but only now was he beginning to feel flushed, claustrophobic. His heartbeat was echoing in his ears, unnaturally loud and fast, and if he were in an entirely coherent state of mind he probably wouldn't have replied with, "Even if it is my fault... do you really mind it that much?"
"It's not that…" Siwon began, sounding as if he were choosing his next words carefully; Donghae felt like an idiot: of course the prince hadn't meant to flirt-only intimidate.
But as the prince began to lean back, putting space between the two of them, Donghae reacted desperately, without thinking. His hands moved as if they didn't belong to him, fisting in Siwon's unbuttoned collar. He dragged the other boy back, bringing their bodies flush, and then Donghae was tilting his face up to Siwon's and they were kissing.
It was exactly what he'd wanted to do since the second that door had shut-since weeks ago, really-and it was exactly what he shouldn't do, when things had been going so well for a change. Now he'd probably just screwed everything all to hell. But Siwon's mouth was soft and warm and pliant, his lips parting when Donghae coaxed them to, and why, why, why hadn't he done this sooner?
In his next breath, Donghae released the prince, his back slamming into the wall again. "What was that sound?" he whispered, paranoid, heightened senses alert. But as soon as he'd asked the question, the noise returned, and Donghae recognized it at once. The sound was all too familiar and-just then-very, extremely unwelcome.
"I miss you more than I
Missed you before and now,
Where I'll find comfort, God knows.
'Cause you~ left me,
Just when I needed you most..."
Sungmin, out of all the moments possible, had picked now to start singing one of his sappier love ballads, strumming along on his guitar like some sort of wayward minstrel. Donghae was going to strangle Sungmin with his bare hands.
That's when the realization hit: here they were, locked in a storage closet, because of Donghae's insane friends who could talk him into anything; and now those friends were singing-very loudly-out in the hallway of the Royal palace, and Donghae had just kissed the prince, whom he was technically sort of married to. Donghae's life had never before seemed more surreal or out of his control than it did in that moment.
It was so bizarre, in fact, that he forgot to be embarrassed about it-even when Siwon cleared his throat, two times, and then asked, "The reason your friend is out there singing that song-does that have anything to do with why you kissed me?"
Clearly, Siwon suspected the whole thing was some sort of practical joke at his expense, when obviously he couldn't be more wrong-the joke was on Donghae, and had been since the beginning.
"They might be related," Donghae confessed reluctantly, watching the outline of the prince's face blur once more into shadow as he stepped back. Donghae felt helpless to fix the misunderstanding, because he was scared that Siwon would be angry whichever way he spun it.
The worst part of it, though, was that all he wanted to do-all he could think of-was kissing Siwon again. Donghae bit his lip, unsuccessfully trying to sting away the memory of Siwon's mouth, wondering if it was possible to get addicted to something after only having it for five seconds.
Donghae didn't do so well with addiction. The first and only time he'd tried to quit caffeine, the summer after his freshman year at university, he'd ended up accidentally setting fire to the kitchen of the apartment-an experiment with herbal tea gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Siwon thankfully let the subject drop in favor of more pressing concerns. He turned to the closet door, pounding on it with one hand. "You out there, Lee Sungmin. Can you hear me?"
The music stopped. Sungmin's voice came through the door, muffled and far too cheerful-sounding. "I can hear you, your Highness."
"In that case, Lee Sungmin, listen to me closely. I have a proposition for you..."
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© 2009
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a/n: For everyone (anyone? lol) that was waiting for this, I'm very sorry for the long hiatus.
YOUTUBE: Sungmin singing the song on Star King*
6/01/2010 - this chapter is the edited and reposted version of the original.