"Thank goodness for calculus", she thought. But only once.

[byelka58]

The other night I came the closest I ever have to using my AP Calculus. I say "AP Calculus" because I mean the class specifically, not the subject - I doubt 10,000 people in the whole country do pen-and-paper calculus on a given day, not counting students. No, I mean that I had a problem, a white expanse in which to make some kind of effort in

Comments

[byelka58]

I could maybe scrape through the GACE if I did 40 hours of prep, but there's always the possibility of disgrace.

Also it sounds like work.

[byelka58]

Doesn't it, though?

[aaronica]

I forgot you work with SQL! One of my two classes is Database Management and I am now learning it formally. I think I might love it--at least the easy parts.

Also, the topic and newness of the Latin class sound like a great fit for you. You obviously sound interested in it, so give it a shot! If it doesn't work out, you still have your job, so there's nothing lost.

And I'm humbled by your assumption of my undauntedness but unfortunately must report that you are incorrect, because I am quite daunted--I am seriously fuckin' daunted over here. It's just that by their very nature, long-term goals are guaranteed to outlast whatever feelings you have about the process of reaching them.

[byelka58]

Seriously fuckin' daunted you may be, but you're doing it! Which is what it takes.

SQL *is* kind of lovable, but I definitely don't know everything I need to know about stored procedures. Much as Cold Fusion is nice, except that I only partway know how to use it.

P.S. It turns out that people do not understand databases at all, yet don't want to hear me explain them over dinner. Why (NINA) is that?

[gabbiana]

Because every time I propose marriage, you decline. And I'm not required to hear your less-entertaining work stories unless we're married. Or... unless I make you sit through mine... always... all the time...

Crap.

[artnymph29]

You should TOTALLY be a Latin teacher! They are all lovably crazy, and I think you could pull that off. Plus, it's Latin Appreciation...if I could last a month as a long term sub in Latin 1, 2, AND 3 (knowing absolutely nothing about the language) you can teach middle schoolers how cool it is.

And, you could rack up awesome stories like this: 1. A student writing on her final in response to a question about ancient Roman dress: "They dress like they're still in olden times or something." 2. A student telling the other Latin teacher "I don't even know where Latin is! If we went to Latin right now, I wouldn't even be able to introduce myself." Priceless.

[byelka58]

Oh, lord, well I guess I wouldn't be much of a Latin teacher after all, because I couldn't find Latin on a map.

Frankly, I was thinking we'd start with the big questions, like, "Where was Latin spoken in ancient times? Where is Latin spoken now? Where was Latin spoken in the meantime? And how did it get there?" Because if there's one thing working has taught me, it's that no knowledge can ever be assumed. I would probably have been a better TA if I'd realized that sooner.

[gabbiana]

I wish most people would stop assuming that I have any knowledge whatsoever.

Also, man, you should totally be a middle school teacher, because you could totally lie. "Latin was spoken in the state of Latinium, which you'll notice is in the central Pangaean republic. Their main export crop was miniature elephants, but eventually something went wrong with the harvest and all the Latiners had to flee to Ireland, where they proceeded to save civilization for the next 2000 years, but no one realized it."

[gabbiana]

Also [she replied to a totally random thread]: "Hankerin' for a hunk-o." Just saying!

[la_zumo]

now that the logic works like she asked, all her shitty data is going to become visible in the form of FAILURE = WIN.

Dude, don't be afraid of a little effort. Imagine the awesomeness of being a Latin teacher. Like aaronica says, the long-term joy far outweighs the short term effort. Besides, if you could pass with just two days of prep, then that isn't much input and therefore you should do it. Depending on the test result turn around, you're not putting a whole of time into it. Plus, when you pass, I'm sure the school would take you in a sec. Let's face it: that job is yours if you want it.

I haven't made it through all of the pics yet, but so far they're pretty awesome.

[byelka58]

So what you're saying is "Sack up, ho."

The 'solution' is that she used a report based on, essentially, the say-so of biased parties. Soooooo shady, and yet I have to hope she gets away with it, because if I've ever in my life met a passer of hot potatoes, she is that passer, and I have no desire to be dragged into that shitstorm. Of... hot potatoes.

It's a metaphor, damn it.

Thank you! They are the top 15% of my efforts, and so I must once again thank the stars for digital cameras, and free online storage.

[la_zumo]

I don't know if I would say, "Sack up, ho", but rather, "Quit yer bitchin' and do it!" Either works, I suppose.

Ooo. Nothing worse than a storm of hot potatoes and shit. The consistency is just... awful.

Your taking pictures with abandon never ceases to amaze me. I'm very picky with my photography because I don't have the patience to cull later. Well, anywho, comments coming your way on the pics. Keep up the good work.

[byelka58]

I lack the skill to be picky with my photography, and so I must take between 2 and 12 shots of everything to get a decent result. That's why I have more good pictures of the last three years (digggggggital) than from the 24 years of my life before that, when I took one picture at a time and it inevitably sucked.

[gabbiana]

It is a shame you cannot see -- or perhaps it is for the best -- what "... because a red bull has driven all of Georgia's Latin certificate-holders into the sea" did to my mucus.

Yay! For the link to Top Gear. Shame on you for not hat-tipping me, though. There: I hat-tip *myself*.

Also, I find it odd, a little, that Top Gear's answer to the live studio audience is to have, standing behind the announcers, a clump of people who have been instructed not to emote or even react in any way. What the hey, Britain?

Oh! And through various internet links (I can honestly no longer remember what started it-- Oh, no, wait, it was Antonia), I have been watching many clips of a new (relative to us) British sketch-com, That Mitchell and Webb Look. Eg, this one and this one.

Based on what I heard from Laura's husband, you could ace the GACE asleep with your legs behind your ears. If you were so inclined.

If you're willing to accept an internet source with no qualifications and less liability, here's "therein lies the rub": Of course it's

[byelka58]

Thank you for recognizing my allusions.

"Honestly I always figured on 'ass' being synechdoche for the whole", eh? That sounds like something a particularly literate pimp would say.

...hmmm.

The way I hear it, you don't have to tell British people not to emote. According to pop culture, at least, they have only the two settings: tea time and soccer riot. Oh, but I walked through the room last night while Mom was watching "Cranford" (also: Masterpiece Mystery! is back), so we have to add a third setting of costume-drama sexy. So: if the British person is covered with face paint and flipping over a burning car, that's soccer riot; if the person is stifling a reaction to some unknowing violation of social order, that's tea time; if the person is wearing a frock coat and explaining to the girl he loves why he'll never be good enough to marry her, that's costume-drama sexy.

If the person is walking out of a phone box and grinning, that's MINE. So back off.

[gabbiana]

Whoa, there. With any luck he'll clone himself again, and then everyone gets a Doctor.

(And I'll be the Doctor's doctor. Hee! Nerd.)

[byelka58]

(Of course, I should have said "running out of a phone box and grinning madly", but that's all right.)