"Thank goodness for calculus", she thought. But only once.
The other night I came the closest I ever have to using my AP Calculus. I say "AP Calculus" because I mean the class specifically, not the subject - I doubt 10,000 people in the whole country do pen-and-paper calculus on a given day, not counting students. No, I mean that I had a problem, a white expanse in which to make some kind of effort in the direction of solving it, and no real idea of how to proceed. My coworkers who had the knowledge didn't have the focus, as they'd been at work on Wednesday until 2 AM Thursday, and it was now 10 PM Thursday with no hope of leaving before Friday began. Meanwhile I, as I said, lacked the know-how, but feel invincible when in possession of a white-board marker. So I carried them along though the free-response process: I know x, y, and z; you asked a, b, and c; and by god, if I only knew how to tell SQL to do this [describes process with frequent stabbing gestures], we'd be golden… And then I would turn to the programmer and say, "Is there a way to do that?" "Sure." "Okay! Next step."
After I'd mapped it all out, I sat with them for three hours while they built the thing: coaxing, prodding, and consoling. And it worked! All day Friday I was in a good mood, even on four hours of sleep (and despite dealing with a client who realized that, hey, now that the logic works like she asked, all her shitty data is going to become visible in the form of FAILURE). Yes, I get an 18-hour contact high off of writing on the board.
Does that mean I should become a Latin teacher? Not necessarily. The local middle school wrote in its charter that all sixth graders who don't require reading help would be taking Latin prep this year; beginning next year, 7th and 8th graders will have the option of taking Latin as an actual language and thereby reaching high school ready for Latin II. Alas, the school CANNOT find a Latin teacher anywhere. I don't know if that's because of the nebulous project - make Latin seem interesting and useful to 12-year-olds - or because everyone would rather teach in high schools, or because a red bull has driven all of Georgia's Latin certificate-holders into the sea. But the fact remains that school started 3 weeks ago and there are six periods of Latin a day… with a long-term substitute.
The deal is that I would love to try my hand at this, even though I hated middle school and have my doubts about pre-teens. How cool would it be to teach a class that no one has ever taught before, with no textbook and no county-wide standards? The class is meant to funnel children into choosing Latin instead of French or Spanish and to give them some idea of What Latin Means To You. It isn't even grammar, it's Latin Appreciation 101. Not to mention the thrill of joining the hallowed ranks of Latin teachers, every last one of whom is a nutcase.
Unfortunately, while you can teach without a certificate (for up to five years in this state), the school won't consider anyone who hasn't passed the GACE subject exam. I would definitely have to study up in order to do that, and if there's one thing I hate more than effort, it's unnecessary effort - and if there's a thing I hate more than that, it's unnecessary effort when success is not guaranteed. The effort is unnecessary because I already have a job, and success is not guaranteed because… I can only remember the first three declensions? I never read any Ovid? There's a section of the test where you have to read poetry aloud into a tape recorder, and that's just too weird? I'm not a Stacey or an Aaron or a David Copperfield, none of whom would be daunted by preparing for one career while working another. I already resent the intrusion of work into my reading/banjo/art/internet time. More work = more bad, right?
And yet what fun it could be! Hence the trouble.
But speaking of David Copperfield, KLM offers a ton of entertainment options on their flights, even in coach, and around Iron Man (which wasn't nearly as bad as the commercials had led me to believe) and episodes of "30 Rock" and in lieu of Star Trek, etc., I listened to probably five hours of Dickens. The voice acting was awesome. AWESOME like this link, although unrelated.
Another thing that happened on that trip/another thing that is awesome (++double segue++) is that I took some pictures, and would you look at that - pictures are up! They're up right here on Shutterfly. Some of them are even up on Facebook, if you feel the need to comment and don't want to register first.
I would welcome your comments.
After I'd mapped it all out, I sat with them for three hours while they built the thing: coaxing, prodding, and consoling. And it worked! All day Friday I was in a good mood, even on four hours of sleep (and despite dealing with a client who realized that, hey, now that the logic works like she asked, all her shitty data is going to become visible in the form of FAILURE). Yes, I get an 18-hour contact high off of writing on the board.
Does that mean I should become a Latin teacher? Not necessarily. The local middle school wrote in its charter that all sixth graders who don't require reading help would be taking Latin prep this year; beginning next year, 7th and 8th graders will have the option of taking Latin as an actual language and thereby reaching high school ready for Latin II. Alas, the school CANNOT find a Latin teacher anywhere. I don't know if that's because of the nebulous project - make Latin seem interesting and useful to 12-year-olds - or because everyone would rather teach in high schools, or because a red bull has driven all of Georgia's Latin certificate-holders into the sea. But the fact remains that school started 3 weeks ago and there are six periods of Latin a day… with a long-term substitute.
The deal is that I would love to try my hand at this, even though I hated middle school and have my doubts about pre-teens. How cool would it be to teach a class that no one has ever taught before, with no textbook and no county-wide standards? The class is meant to funnel children into choosing Latin instead of French or Spanish and to give them some idea of What Latin Means To You. It isn't even grammar, it's Latin Appreciation 101. Not to mention the thrill of joining the hallowed ranks of Latin teachers, every last one of whom is a nutcase.
Unfortunately, while you can teach without a certificate (for up to five years in this state), the school won't consider anyone who hasn't passed the GACE subject exam. I would definitely have to study up in order to do that, and if there's one thing I hate more than effort, it's unnecessary effort - and if there's a thing I hate more than that, it's unnecessary effort when success is not guaranteed. The effort is unnecessary because I already have a job, and success is not guaranteed because… I can only remember the first three declensions? I never read any Ovid? There's a section of the test where you have to read poetry aloud into a tape recorder, and that's just too weird? I'm not a Stacey or an Aaron or a David Copperfield, none of whom would be daunted by preparing for one career while working another. I already resent the intrusion of work into my reading/banjo/art/internet time. More work = more bad, right?
And yet what fun it could be! Hence the trouble.
But speaking of David Copperfield, KLM offers a ton of entertainment options on their flights, even in coach, and around Iron Man (which wasn't nearly as bad as the commercials had led me to believe) and episodes of "30 Rock" and in lieu of Star Trek, etc., I listened to probably five hours of Dickens. The voice acting was awesome. AWESOME like this link, although unrelated.
Another thing that happened on that trip/another thing that is awesome (++double segue++) is that I took some pictures, and would you look at that - pictures are up! They're up right here on Shutterfly. Some of them are even up on Facebook, if you feel the need to comment and don't want to register first.
I would welcome your comments.