Falling Apart (3/3)
Title: Falling Apart (3/3)
Author: burning_arrow
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: smut
Disclaimer: Obviously I don’t own these characters. If I did, don’t you think things would have gone a bit differently? My muse thanks Terry Goodkind and ABC for giving her such good fodder though.
Word Count: 11,939 total (roughly split into equal parts)
Summary: Cara’s surprised by Kahlan’s behavior after Richard leaves Aydindril.
Cara gazed at the red leather under her hand, her fingers caressing the supple, strong material that felt like a second skin to her. She’d worn this uniform for more than half her life. But those days were done now. She had to find a new life, whatever that might mean. Carefully, she laid her agiels on top of the folded leathers. Setting them aside was somehow harder than divesting herself of her uniform. She longed to pick them up again, to feel their comforting sting, but she held back. She had to learn a new way. Finally, she laid a folded piece of parchment on top of the bundle. It was a letter from Richard, arrived a few days ago. She’d not gone after him, for she’d never found the right thing to say. For nearly three weeks she’d sat down almost every day in front of her journeybook, but try as she might to write even the simplest message, her words failed her and the empty pages stared back at her forlornly. Then the letter came. She almost couldn’t bear to open it, imagining everything it might contain. When she finally found the courage to read it, she’d stared at the three words on the parchment for hours.
I forgive you.
Three words that meant so many things. Upon reading the letter, the first flush of relief had faded as Cara understood it was more than a pardoning of her actions. It was also a farewell of sorts. He was releasing her, letting her go, and that brought with it sharp pangs of loneliness that she wasn’t prepared for. If pressed, she would not be able to describe how she was so certain that Richard was saying good-bye, but she knew it for truth. She wondered if Kahlan had received a similar letter. Cara was free, whether she wanted to be or not.
Sighing, Cara closed the lid of the trunk and locked it, securing leathers, agiels, and letter. She stood, straightening her new clothes as she did. Though the breeches and tunic were close-fitting, they still did not hug her the way her leathers had. They felt awkward and baggy. She flexed her bare hands, the creak of her gloves notably absent. Grumpily, she gave her blue jerkin a sharp tug, and threw a light cloak over her shoulders. She drew the hood up over her head before leaving her chambers. It would not do for her to be recognized - not for what she intended to do today.
Heading to the Great Hall, she weaved her way through the crowds near the entrance before she found the end of the line she was looking for. She took her place behind a rough looking man and his haggard wife, farmers by the look of their garb, and down on their luck at that. She slouched low on the bench, hiding in the depths of her cowl. A coldly handsome man with an arrogant sneer settled next to her, a minor lord who sniffed with disdain at having to be seated next to commoners, but who paid her little attention. After years of her uniform stirring up anything from fear to outrage, this anonymity seemed strange. Today, however, it was welcome.
Hours passed as Cara waited her turn. The farmers talked with each other in awed, hushed tones, no doubt overwhelmed by the grandeur of the Confessors Palace, while the nobleman fidgeted and sighed impatiently. Cara stayed silent, hardly moving. Finally, the line in front of her dwindled until she stood next.
“Who is the next petitioner?” called Kahlan, her voice full of the imperious tone of the Mother Confessor. Cara swallowed, a slight thrill trickling down her spine. She had not heard nor seen Kahlan since the day Richard had left.
Cara stepped forward, throwing back her hood. Murmurs arose from those in the crowd that recognized her. Kahlan stared at her in stunned silence, her mouth slightly agape and her blue eyes troubled. Before the Confessor could say anything, Cara dropped to one knee and bowed her head.
“My name is Cara Mason. I have come today to pledge my fealty to the Mother Confessor and to the Midlands. I offer my life and my skills as a warrior in defense of this land. I only hope that you will do me the honor of accepting my request,” she said solemnly, uttering the words that she’d practiced a hundred times before. Still the words felt strange in her mouth - they certainly lacked the flavor of the D’Haran’s daily devotions.
Cara heard Kahlan rise from the First Chair and take a step toward her before stopping.
“Cara, look at me,” ordered Kahlan.
When Cara raised her face, she met blue eyes filled with confusion and worry.
“You don’t have to do this,” said the Confessor softly.
“I must. I need to…” Cara’s voice faltered. Once Richard had freed her, she’d been set adrift, with no anchor to hold her in the disorienting possibilities of an ever shifting future. If she was honest, she’d been dizzy and disoriented the moment she’d left Kahlan’s chambers. The letter had only worsened her predicament. How could she explain to Kahlan that her need to serve was equal in weight to her love for the Confessor? She’d gained her heart, only to lose another part of herself. Perhaps today she could reclaim some of what she’d lost. Cara pleaded with Kahlan silently, begging her to understand.
Something in Kahlan’s features shifted and softened, before the line of her mouth firmed.
“Very well,” said Kahlan, her tone recovering the authority of the Mother Confessor. “Your petition is granted. We will discuss the terms of your service later. You will attend me once I have heard the rest of the petitions for the day.”
“As you command, Mother Confessor. Thank you.”
Cara rose to go, but Kahlan caught her eye, giving her one last lingering look before turning to the next petitioner. As she strode from the Great Hall, Cara finally felt as if her feet were on solid ground again.
***
“What do you mean by standing there in front of all Aydindril, declaring your loyalty to me?” demanded Kahlan, her voice a mix of ire and bafflement. Cara scowled as she closed the door to Kahlan’s chamber behind her.
“If you did not understand, why did you accept my offer? And it was hardly the entire city,” replied Cara stonily. This was not how she’d pictured their first real conversation going.
“You are not some common soldier, Cara, to be disposed of at the whim of the Mother Confessor,” snapped Kahlan peevishly.
“Then what am I?” challenged Cara. “I am no longer Mord’Sith, Kahlan. I serve no cause. I have no home. I am nothing.”
“You are the one I love,” said Kahlan fiercely. “That’s enough.”
“But what if it isn’t? I have always been…useful. I’ve always had a purpose, whether it was one you agreed with or not.” Cara’s shoulders sagged. She’d truly thought Kahlan understood.
Suddenly, Kahlan crossed the room to her and placed a hand on either side of Cara’s face. The Confessor stared at her with piercing eyes that gave Cara the impression that Kahlan could see straight through her. Kahlan’s anger fled, replaced by concern as she examined Cara’s expression.
“I should never have thought that you would be content with anything less,” said Kahlan, with a sad smile on her face. “We will find you a place, in the Home Guard perhaps. It was foolish of me to think that I could keep you out of harm’s way.”
“You can’t coddle me,” replied Cara.
“No, I suppose not. Our lives aren’t meant for that. Only, now that I’ve got you, I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
Kahlan emphasized her words with a deep kiss that shook Cara to her core. It seemed now that it was truly the two of them alone, Kahlan felt free to pour herself into her touches without restraint. Cara’s heart and body responded together, both flushing with a feverish heat. Her whole being seemed to lean into Kahlan, eager for the touch she’d abstained from for the past weeks. She nearly forgot herself as Kahlan’s arms wrapped around her middle, her own arms curling over Kahlan’s shoulders and behind her neck. She dragged her mouth away slowly, reluctantly, breathing heavily.
Trying to steady herself, Cara took half a step back, loosening yet not quite escaping Kahlan’s embrace. She forced herself to meet Kahlan’s eyes.
“I need to know why you chose me over Richard,” said Cara, a slightly sour feeling in her gut. She didn’t want to have this conversation, but she knew her mind would give her no peace if she didn’t address it now.
“It wasn’t a choice,” replied Kahlan, her brow creasing slightly, as if she struggled with the memories. “I loved Richard. I did. And then something changed. I tried to stop it, but it was too late, and my love began to fade.”
“But he adored you. He would’ve given you everything,” insisted Cara. It was true. There were things that she would never be able to provide for Kahlan that Richard might have been able to.
“Don’t you think I know that? But the heart wants what it wants. And for me, that was - that is you,” said Kahlan.
Cara’s mouth went dry. She croaked, “How long have you felt this way?”
“Months before I had the courage to do anything about it,” replied Kahlan, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. She shook her head as if at her own foolishness.
“Why didn’t you come right out and say something?” questioned Cara.
Kahlan laughed, a sound that somehow told Cara that it was an absurd question without directly mocking her. “As if Cara Mason, the great Mord’Sith, would have ever believed me, let alone let me get close enough to convince you otherwise. No, I needed to court you in a way you would understand.”
Cara’s mouth dropped open. “Court me?! You dominated me better than any Mord’Sith mistress could.”
“Precisely.” Kahlan flashed her a devilish grin.
“Then, all this was part of your plan?” asked Cara, bewildered.
At this, Kahlan sobered again, the lines of her face tensing. “No. Beyond trying to get you to open up to me, I didn’t have a plan, not that I’m sure one would have helped. I never meant to hurt you or Richard the way that I did, but I couldn’t let you go. I’m sorry that I was so selfish, Cara. I truly am.”
Kahlan’s eyes searched Cara’s for forgiveness, and Cara was once again taken aback by how lovely the Confessor was when she was so exposed. This time she was glad to give Kahlan the solace she needed.
“It is for the better,” Cara murmured as she brushed her lips over Kahlan’s mouth. She pressed her mouth to the Confessor’s, feeling Kahlan’s soft lips move under hers. She soaked up the sensation as she suckled Kahlan’s lower lip. She felt Kahlan’s arms tighten around her once again.
When they broke apart, Kahlan whispered, “I love you, Cara.”
Cara’s heartbeat raced, like a wild stallion that seemed as if it would carry her away. “Kahlan, I…I…”
The words would not come, but Kahlan smiled softly and stroked Cara’s cheek gently with the back of her hand. “I know, Cara. I know.”
Cara relaxed. The words would be there one day, but until that day arrived, Kahlan would accept what Cara could give her. She returned Kahlan’s smile before lifting her chin and capturing Kahlan’s mouth again. The kiss turned hot and needy as Kahlan’s tongue invaded Cara’s mouth. Grabbing a fistful of Kahlan’s hair in her hand, Cara tugged Kahlan’s head back, roughly but not enough to hurt. Her other arm circled Kahlan’s waist, crushing their bodies together.
“Now that we’re back to something I do understand,” smirked Cara, “I should warn you that I have months’ worth of unrequited pleasure that I fully intend to inflict on you as soon as possible, since apparently I have permission to touch you.”
At her words, Kahlan shuddered in Cara’s arms. Cara watched in satisfaction as the Confessor’s pupils dilated and her breathing quickened.
“I look forward to that,” said Kahlan breathlessly.
“Perhaps I should make you beg for it first,” teased Cara before closing her mouth on Kahlan’s throat.
Kahlan moaned before replying in husky tones, “I never made you beg.”
“True,” Cara admitted, her lips brushing the skin of Kahlan’s neck as she spoke, “but it might still be fun.”
“You wouldn’t d-dare,” mumbled Kahlan, tripping over the last word as Cara bit down on her ear lobe.
“We’ll see. But not tonight. Tonight, I just want to be with you,” replied Cara, pulling back just far enough to catch Kahlan’s eyes again. Desire and emotion played openly across Kahlan’s features, and Cara knew her own face revealed as much. She was surprised when Kahlan’s hands gripped her upper arms and pushed her firmly back.
“Give me one moment,” said Kahlan with an apologetic smile. The Confessor went to a small stand by the bed and opened a drawer. She removed the Rada’Han from the drawer’s depths. She quickly closed the collar around her neck, but she was not fast enough to hide the small flinch as it clicked shut. Cara winced too.
When Kahlan approached her again, Cara reached up to touch the cold, enchanted steel, exploring its ridges and curves.
“You won’t need this one day,” she said adamantly, with every intention to make good on that promise.
“I have no doubt of that,” answered Kahlan, rewarding Cara with another smile.
“Is this why you wouldn’t let me touch you, in the beginning?” Cara asked.
Unexpectedly, Kahlan’s cheeks colored, though Cara couldn’t tell whether it was from shame, embarrassment, or anger. Kahlan’s gaze didn’t waver, but her voice was low and unsteady when she said, “I was afraid.”
“Of confessing me?”
“No, not that. I had the Rada’Han from the start. I wanted you to…participate, even then. But if you had touched me without feeling as I did, I think it would have broken my heart. It sounds insane, I know-“
“It sounds completely sane to me,” interjected Cara, seeing Kahlan’s distress, and in a way it did make perfect sense. As long as Kahlan alone acted, it had remained about her emotions only. To let Cara play a part meant opening up the possibility that Cara would not respond with the Confessor’s ardor. At one point, early on, maybe she wouldn’t have, but that was past. She took hold of Kahlan’s hands, drawing her near. “I belong to you, now. That’s all that matters.”
With that, Cara kissed Kahlan with a ferocity that left both of them panting. Kahlan’s hands played at the buckle of Cara’s belt. As the belt popped open, Kahlan chuckled.
“Somehow you’ve managed to acquire more clothing by giving up your leathers,” Kahlan said.
“True, but they are much easier to get out of,” retorted Cara. She quickly opened the clasp of her cloak, letting the garment drop to the ground. She slipped off the jerkin and tunic in one smooth motion. Almost as quickly, she stripped off her breeches and boots, standing proudly with Kahlan staring at her hungrily. She gave the Confessor a predatory grin. “Your turn.”
Cara managed to contain herself while Kahlan divested herself of her white gown and corset, but she found herself on her knees in front of the Confessor before Kahlan could slide her black skirt down. Cara placed open-mouthed kisses on the pale skin of Kahlan’s belly, working the skirt lower with her hands. As the skirt settled around Kahlan’s ankles, Cara licked her way up the inside of one hipbone. Kahlan gasped. Cara dug her fingers into the flesh of Kahlan’s hips, holding her in place as her mouth moved down Kahlan’s body. Kahlan’s hands tangled in Cara’s hair.
When Cara’s mouth traveled dangerously close to Kahlan’s mound, Kahlan’s thighs trembled and the Confessor choked out, “Cara…bed…my legs…”
Cara threw her head back, giving Kahlan a smug smile. Kahlan’s fingers tightened almost painfully in Cara’s hair, forcing Cara to her feet, where Kahlan devoured her mouth passionately. Then, with a hand flat on Cara’s chest, Kahlan gave Cara a shove toward the bed. Cara let herself be nudged, coming to the edge of the bed, but when Kahlan made to push her down on the mattress Cara twisted deftly, sending Kahlan rolling onto the bed instead. Kahlan’s sounds of protest cut off when Cara straddled her and took a hardening nipple into her mouth, trapping it between tongue and teeth. Kahlan’s back arched, offering more of her breasts to Cara. Cara began to throb between her legs, her whole body tingling.
Time disappeared as Cara lavished attention on Kahlan’s body. The Confessor, not content to simply relinquish control, paid Cara’s body equal consideration. Their mouths crashed together, their limbs tangled, their hands groped for purchase on one another’s hips, backs, thighs. Cara drank in the sensual sounds she enticed from Kahlan, giving Kahlan her own low moans in return. She reveled in the way Kahlan filled her senses, pushing out everything else.
So absorbed was she that it was almost a shock when Kahlan’s fingers slid through the folds of her sex. She gasped loudly, the sound echoing in her ears. She’d had no idea how wet she’d become until Kahlan’s fingers touched her. The Confessor had only begun and Cara already felt fit to burst, the sweet ache between her thighs almost unbearable. But she would not let Kahlan slip away. Blindly, Cara wedged her hand down between their bodies to Kahlan’s center, finding Kahlan as ready as she was herself. She groaned as the Confessor’s hips rolled into her touch. Kahlan answered with her own keen whimper. Each taking wordless instruction from the other, they matched each other’s rhythm, building toward their climax together. Cara’s flesh felt like liquid fire under Kahlan’s hand. Kahlan increased the pressure on Cara’s clit and a jolt of pleasure tore through her. She cried out, and Kahlan bore down on Cara’s fingers. Suddenly, they were crashing over the edge together, Cara biting down hard on Kahlan’s shoulder as Kahlan let out an ecstatic sob. Cara felt Kahlan’s body quaking. She pulled Kahlan close, clinging to her as their release gradually ebbed away.
Slowly, Kahlan stilled. Cara weakly lifted her head, taking in the Confessor’s blissful expression, her disheveled hair, her kiss-bruised lips. With darkening eyes that reminded Cara of twilight on a summer’s eve, Kahlan stared at her with a searing look that had Cara melting all over again. Cara’s heartbeat thundered in her ears, drowning out anything but Kahlan.
And though Cara Mason never submitted to anyone, ever, she knew that woman before her could command her with a look - and Cara would thank her for it. With that thought, Cara grinned, and reached for Kahlan again.
Author: burning_arrow
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: smut
Disclaimer: Obviously I don’t own these characters. If I did, don’t you think things would have gone a bit differently? My muse thanks Terry Goodkind and ABC for giving her such good fodder though.
Word Count: 11,939 total (roughly split into equal parts)
Summary: Cara’s surprised by Kahlan’s behavior after Richard leaves Aydindril.
Cara gazed at the red leather under her hand, her fingers caressing the supple, strong material that felt like a second skin to her. She’d worn this uniform for more than half her life. But those days were done now. She had to find a new life, whatever that might mean. Carefully, she laid her agiels on top of the folded leathers. Setting them aside was somehow harder than divesting herself of her uniform. She longed to pick them up again, to feel their comforting sting, but she held back. She had to learn a new way. Finally, she laid a folded piece of parchment on top of the bundle. It was a letter from Richard, arrived a few days ago. She’d not gone after him, for she’d never found the right thing to say. For nearly three weeks she’d sat down almost every day in front of her journeybook, but try as she might to write even the simplest message, her words failed her and the empty pages stared back at her forlornly. Then the letter came. She almost couldn’t bear to open it, imagining everything it might contain. When she finally found the courage to read it, she’d stared at the three words on the parchment for hours.
I forgive you.
Three words that meant so many things. Upon reading the letter, the first flush of relief had faded as Cara understood it was more than a pardoning of her actions. It was also a farewell of sorts. He was releasing her, letting her go, and that brought with it sharp pangs of loneliness that she wasn’t prepared for. If pressed, she would not be able to describe how she was so certain that Richard was saying good-bye, but she knew it for truth. She wondered if Kahlan had received a similar letter. Cara was free, whether she wanted to be or not.
Sighing, Cara closed the lid of the trunk and locked it, securing leathers, agiels, and letter. She stood, straightening her new clothes as she did. Though the breeches and tunic were close-fitting, they still did not hug her the way her leathers had. They felt awkward and baggy. She flexed her bare hands, the creak of her gloves notably absent. Grumpily, she gave her blue jerkin a sharp tug, and threw a light cloak over her shoulders. She drew the hood up over her head before leaving her chambers. It would not do for her to be recognized - not for what she intended to do today.
Heading to the Great Hall, she weaved her way through the crowds near the entrance before she found the end of the line she was looking for. She took her place behind a rough looking man and his haggard wife, farmers by the look of their garb, and down on their luck at that. She slouched low on the bench, hiding in the depths of her cowl. A coldly handsome man with an arrogant sneer settled next to her, a minor lord who sniffed with disdain at having to be seated next to commoners, but who paid her little attention. After years of her uniform stirring up anything from fear to outrage, this anonymity seemed strange. Today, however, it was welcome.
Hours passed as Cara waited her turn. The farmers talked with each other in awed, hushed tones, no doubt overwhelmed by the grandeur of the Confessors Palace, while the nobleman fidgeted and sighed impatiently. Cara stayed silent, hardly moving. Finally, the line in front of her dwindled until she stood next.
“Who is the next petitioner?” called Kahlan, her voice full of the imperious tone of the Mother Confessor. Cara swallowed, a slight thrill trickling down her spine. She had not heard nor seen Kahlan since the day Richard had left.
Cara stepped forward, throwing back her hood. Murmurs arose from those in the crowd that recognized her. Kahlan stared at her in stunned silence, her mouth slightly agape and her blue eyes troubled. Before the Confessor could say anything, Cara dropped to one knee and bowed her head.
“My name is Cara Mason. I have come today to pledge my fealty to the Mother Confessor and to the Midlands. I offer my life and my skills as a warrior in defense of this land. I only hope that you will do me the honor of accepting my request,” she said solemnly, uttering the words that she’d practiced a hundred times before. Still the words felt strange in her mouth - they certainly lacked the flavor of the D’Haran’s daily devotions.
Cara heard Kahlan rise from the First Chair and take a step toward her before stopping.
“Cara, look at me,” ordered Kahlan.
When Cara raised her face, she met blue eyes filled with confusion and worry.
“You don’t have to do this,” said the Confessor softly.
“I must. I need to…” Cara’s voice faltered. Once Richard had freed her, she’d been set adrift, with no anchor to hold her in the disorienting possibilities of an ever shifting future. If she was honest, she’d been dizzy and disoriented the moment she’d left Kahlan’s chambers. The letter had only worsened her predicament. How could she explain to Kahlan that her need to serve was equal in weight to her love for the Confessor? She’d gained her heart, only to lose another part of herself. Perhaps today she could reclaim some of what she’d lost. Cara pleaded with Kahlan silently, begging her to understand.
Something in Kahlan’s features shifted and softened, before the line of her mouth firmed.
“Very well,” said Kahlan, her tone recovering the authority of the Mother Confessor. “Your petition is granted. We will discuss the terms of your service later. You will attend me once I have heard the rest of the petitions for the day.”
“As you command, Mother Confessor. Thank you.”
Cara rose to go, but Kahlan caught her eye, giving her one last lingering look before turning to the next petitioner. As she strode from the Great Hall, Cara finally felt as if her feet were on solid ground again.
***
“What do you mean by standing there in front of all Aydindril, declaring your loyalty to me?” demanded Kahlan, her voice a mix of ire and bafflement. Cara scowled as she closed the door to Kahlan’s chamber behind her.
“If you did not understand, why did you accept my offer? And it was hardly the entire city,” replied Cara stonily. This was not how she’d pictured their first real conversation going.
“You are not some common soldier, Cara, to be disposed of at the whim of the Mother Confessor,” snapped Kahlan peevishly.
“Then what am I?” challenged Cara. “I am no longer Mord’Sith, Kahlan. I serve no cause. I have no home. I am nothing.”
“You are the one I love,” said Kahlan fiercely. “That’s enough.”
“But what if it isn’t? I have always been…useful. I’ve always had a purpose, whether it was one you agreed with or not.” Cara’s shoulders sagged. She’d truly thought Kahlan understood.
Suddenly, Kahlan crossed the room to her and placed a hand on either side of Cara’s face. The Confessor stared at her with piercing eyes that gave Cara the impression that Kahlan could see straight through her. Kahlan’s anger fled, replaced by concern as she examined Cara’s expression.
“I should never have thought that you would be content with anything less,” said Kahlan, with a sad smile on her face. “We will find you a place, in the Home Guard perhaps. It was foolish of me to think that I could keep you out of harm’s way.”
“You can’t coddle me,” replied Cara.
“No, I suppose not. Our lives aren’t meant for that. Only, now that I’ve got you, I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
Kahlan emphasized her words with a deep kiss that shook Cara to her core. It seemed now that it was truly the two of them alone, Kahlan felt free to pour herself into her touches without restraint. Cara’s heart and body responded together, both flushing with a feverish heat. Her whole being seemed to lean into Kahlan, eager for the touch she’d abstained from for the past weeks. She nearly forgot herself as Kahlan’s arms wrapped around her middle, her own arms curling over Kahlan’s shoulders and behind her neck. She dragged her mouth away slowly, reluctantly, breathing heavily.
Trying to steady herself, Cara took half a step back, loosening yet not quite escaping Kahlan’s embrace. She forced herself to meet Kahlan’s eyes.
“I need to know why you chose me over Richard,” said Cara, a slightly sour feeling in her gut. She didn’t want to have this conversation, but she knew her mind would give her no peace if she didn’t address it now.
“It wasn’t a choice,” replied Kahlan, her brow creasing slightly, as if she struggled with the memories. “I loved Richard. I did. And then something changed. I tried to stop it, but it was too late, and my love began to fade.”
“But he adored you. He would’ve given you everything,” insisted Cara. It was true. There were things that she would never be able to provide for Kahlan that Richard might have been able to.
“Don’t you think I know that? But the heart wants what it wants. And for me, that was - that is you,” said Kahlan.
Cara’s mouth went dry. She croaked, “How long have you felt this way?”
“Months before I had the courage to do anything about it,” replied Kahlan, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. She shook her head as if at her own foolishness.
“Why didn’t you come right out and say something?” questioned Cara.
Kahlan laughed, a sound that somehow told Cara that it was an absurd question without directly mocking her. “As if Cara Mason, the great Mord’Sith, would have ever believed me, let alone let me get close enough to convince you otherwise. No, I needed to court you in a way you would understand.”
Cara’s mouth dropped open. “Court me?! You dominated me better than any Mord’Sith mistress could.”
“Precisely.” Kahlan flashed her a devilish grin.
“Then, all this was part of your plan?” asked Cara, bewildered.
At this, Kahlan sobered again, the lines of her face tensing. “No. Beyond trying to get you to open up to me, I didn’t have a plan, not that I’m sure one would have helped. I never meant to hurt you or Richard the way that I did, but I couldn’t let you go. I’m sorry that I was so selfish, Cara. I truly am.”
Kahlan’s eyes searched Cara’s for forgiveness, and Cara was once again taken aback by how lovely the Confessor was when she was so exposed. This time she was glad to give Kahlan the solace she needed.
“It is for the better,” Cara murmured as she brushed her lips over Kahlan’s mouth. She pressed her mouth to the Confessor’s, feeling Kahlan’s soft lips move under hers. She soaked up the sensation as she suckled Kahlan’s lower lip. She felt Kahlan’s arms tighten around her once again.
When they broke apart, Kahlan whispered, “I love you, Cara.”
Cara’s heartbeat raced, like a wild stallion that seemed as if it would carry her away. “Kahlan, I…I…”
The words would not come, but Kahlan smiled softly and stroked Cara’s cheek gently with the back of her hand. “I know, Cara. I know.”
Cara relaxed. The words would be there one day, but until that day arrived, Kahlan would accept what Cara could give her. She returned Kahlan’s smile before lifting her chin and capturing Kahlan’s mouth again. The kiss turned hot and needy as Kahlan’s tongue invaded Cara’s mouth. Grabbing a fistful of Kahlan’s hair in her hand, Cara tugged Kahlan’s head back, roughly but not enough to hurt. Her other arm circled Kahlan’s waist, crushing their bodies together.
“Now that we’re back to something I do understand,” smirked Cara, “I should warn you that I have months’ worth of unrequited pleasure that I fully intend to inflict on you as soon as possible, since apparently I have permission to touch you.”
At her words, Kahlan shuddered in Cara’s arms. Cara watched in satisfaction as the Confessor’s pupils dilated and her breathing quickened.
“I look forward to that,” said Kahlan breathlessly.
“Perhaps I should make you beg for it first,” teased Cara before closing her mouth on Kahlan’s throat.
Kahlan moaned before replying in husky tones, “I never made you beg.”
“True,” Cara admitted, her lips brushing the skin of Kahlan’s neck as she spoke, “but it might still be fun.”
“You wouldn’t d-dare,” mumbled Kahlan, tripping over the last word as Cara bit down on her ear lobe.
“We’ll see. But not tonight. Tonight, I just want to be with you,” replied Cara, pulling back just far enough to catch Kahlan’s eyes again. Desire and emotion played openly across Kahlan’s features, and Cara knew her own face revealed as much. She was surprised when Kahlan’s hands gripped her upper arms and pushed her firmly back.
“Give me one moment,” said Kahlan with an apologetic smile. The Confessor went to a small stand by the bed and opened a drawer. She removed the Rada’Han from the drawer’s depths. She quickly closed the collar around her neck, but she was not fast enough to hide the small flinch as it clicked shut. Cara winced too.
When Kahlan approached her again, Cara reached up to touch the cold, enchanted steel, exploring its ridges and curves.
“You won’t need this one day,” she said adamantly, with every intention to make good on that promise.
“I have no doubt of that,” answered Kahlan, rewarding Cara with another smile.
“Is this why you wouldn’t let me touch you, in the beginning?” Cara asked.
Unexpectedly, Kahlan’s cheeks colored, though Cara couldn’t tell whether it was from shame, embarrassment, or anger. Kahlan’s gaze didn’t waver, but her voice was low and unsteady when she said, “I was afraid.”
“Of confessing me?”
“No, not that. I had the Rada’Han from the start. I wanted you to…participate, even then. But if you had touched me without feeling as I did, I think it would have broken my heart. It sounds insane, I know-“
“It sounds completely sane to me,” interjected Cara, seeing Kahlan’s distress, and in a way it did make perfect sense. As long as Kahlan alone acted, it had remained about her emotions only. To let Cara play a part meant opening up the possibility that Cara would not respond with the Confessor’s ardor. At one point, early on, maybe she wouldn’t have, but that was past. She took hold of Kahlan’s hands, drawing her near. “I belong to you, now. That’s all that matters.”
With that, Cara kissed Kahlan with a ferocity that left both of them panting. Kahlan’s hands played at the buckle of Cara’s belt. As the belt popped open, Kahlan chuckled.
“Somehow you’ve managed to acquire more clothing by giving up your leathers,” Kahlan said.
“True, but they are much easier to get out of,” retorted Cara. She quickly opened the clasp of her cloak, letting the garment drop to the ground. She slipped off the jerkin and tunic in one smooth motion. Almost as quickly, she stripped off her breeches and boots, standing proudly with Kahlan staring at her hungrily. She gave the Confessor a predatory grin. “Your turn.”
Cara managed to contain herself while Kahlan divested herself of her white gown and corset, but she found herself on her knees in front of the Confessor before Kahlan could slide her black skirt down. Cara placed open-mouthed kisses on the pale skin of Kahlan’s belly, working the skirt lower with her hands. As the skirt settled around Kahlan’s ankles, Cara licked her way up the inside of one hipbone. Kahlan gasped. Cara dug her fingers into the flesh of Kahlan’s hips, holding her in place as her mouth moved down Kahlan’s body. Kahlan’s hands tangled in Cara’s hair.
When Cara’s mouth traveled dangerously close to Kahlan’s mound, Kahlan’s thighs trembled and the Confessor choked out, “Cara…bed…my legs…”
Cara threw her head back, giving Kahlan a smug smile. Kahlan’s fingers tightened almost painfully in Cara’s hair, forcing Cara to her feet, where Kahlan devoured her mouth passionately. Then, with a hand flat on Cara’s chest, Kahlan gave Cara a shove toward the bed. Cara let herself be nudged, coming to the edge of the bed, but when Kahlan made to push her down on the mattress Cara twisted deftly, sending Kahlan rolling onto the bed instead. Kahlan’s sounds of protest cut off when Cara straddled her and took a hardening nipple into her mouth, trapping it between tongue and teeth. Kahlan’s back arched, offering more of her breasts to Cara. Cara began to throb between her legs, her whole body tingling.
Time disappeared as Cara lavished attention on Kahlan’s body. The Confessor, not content to simply relinquish control, paid Cara’s body equal consideration. Their mouths crashed together, their limbs tangled, their hands groped for purchase on one another’s hips, backs, thighs. Cara drank in the sensual sounds she enticed from Kahlan, giving Kahlan her own low moans in return. She reveled in the way Kahlan filled her senses, pushing out everything else.
So absorbed was she that it was almost a shock when Kahlan’s fingers slid through the folds of her sex. She gasped loudly, the sound echoing in her ears. She’d had no idea how wet she’d become until Kahlan’s fingers touched her. The Confessor had only begun and Cara already felt fit to burst, the sweet ache between her thighs almost unbearable. But she would not let Kahlan slip away. Blindly, Cara wedged her hand down between their bodies to Kahlan’s center, finding Kahlan as ready as she was herself. She groaned as the Confessor’s hips rolled into her touch. Kahlan answered with her own keen whimper. Each taking wordless instruction from the other, they matched each other’s rhythm, building toward their climax together. Cara’s flesh felt like liquid fire under Kahlan’s hand. Kahlan increased the pressure on Cara’s clit and a jolt of pleasure tore through her. She cried out, and Kahlan bore down on Cara’s fingers. Suddenly, they were crashing over the edge together, Cara biting down hard on Kahlan’s shoulder as Kahlan let out an ecstatic sob. Cara felt Kahlan’s body quaking. She pulled Kahlan close, clinging to her as their release gradually ebbed away.
Slowly, Kahlan stilled. Cara weakly lifted her head, taking in the Confessor’s blissful expression, her disheveled hair, her kiss-bruised lips. With darkening eyes that reminded Cara of twilight on a summer’s eve, Kahlan stared at her with a searing look that had Cara melting all over again. Cara’s heartbeat thundered in her ears, drowning out anything but Kahlan.
And though Cara Mason never submitted to anyone, ever, she knew that woman before her could command her with a look - and Cara would thank her for it. With that thought, Cara grinned, and reached for Kahlan again.