lightyears away

[bubblingbeebles]

i almost didn't even bother to start writing a post for this particular bad hour, but this is supposed to be about winning internal battles, and turning away when the voice of doubt says "you are only going to make a fool of yourself by being emo on livejournal" is not even a fighting attempt, let alone anything for making progress. so here goes.

Comments

[bubblingbeebles]

the idea is easy for happy-me to smile about, but sad-me tends to be more stubborn about absorbing it. it takes me taking a step back, "i am not my problems"-style, before it will sink in.

that's getting much easier, though, lately. arranging for the natural response to "dude, open your eyes" to be "done, now what?" instead of "i don't wanna" - it's much easier the more i recognise my mood doesn't have to change at the same time.

[gregh1983]

You probably already know this objectively, but I definitely consider it worth my time to do things with you. You are an excellent person. In particular, I'm really amazed and impressed at how you've taught yourself to be a great runner and a great ITG player both in very short times.

[bubblingbeebles]

thanks :)

having nice thoughts like this on hand is a good start, but growing out of the thought-habits that make them necessary (as opposed to bonuses) is another project entirely.

[valantrapitor]

Stop setting task-oriented expectations for yourself when you're living life. If you're trying to actively railroad your own mood in everything you do, you're passively restricting yourself from just being you. People around you are (hopefully!) not holding you up to strict standards of living like you're a machine, but they are probably concerned with how happy/motivated you are at doing things - and if they could tell one apart from the other, they'd be concerned with how you actually feel, not how you seem to feel