FF#1 Kristy's Big News Chapters 1-9

[awishfuldreamer]

So I sat down recently and had one of those out-of-the-blue remembrances: “Oh, crap! I promised I would snark Kristy’s Big News like a year ago!” So I sat down and saw that part of the doc was still in my computer and I had just never finished. So here we go! I have always wanted to snark Kristy’s father, one of my most hated characters. And better

Comments

[kakeochi_umai]

Hey, how have things been? Are you still in Japan?

And just because I mentioned UK covers, I didn’t know that MA almost got murdered by an overzealous hairdresser.
Fail, cover designer. I'm pretty sure that book specifically said MA DIDN'T go to Gloriana's.

And I may go to hell for this, but thinking of Gloriana of course made me think of Karen, so when I saw:
Oh, GOD, ABORT ABORT ABORT.
I actually didn't remember for a moment that you were talking about the cover.

Apparently, she saw him randomly at a ball game in California. I guess I missed that one
It was near the end of their road trip BSC in the USA. I could be a Janine-level genius if my brain wasn't full of these details.

Elizabeth says it's up to the kids to decide, but we know he already bought the tickets before asking her in the first place. "They're already on the way!"
I think they'd be well within their rights to emulate Norman Hill with the insulting drawings and rip those tickets right the fuck up.

and even more so by the shade of purple Richard’s face would

[road_baby]

I could be a Janine-level genius if my brain wasn't full of these details.

We all could. We all could. I'm like 'I can't do a French knot but I can tell you all about the BSC!'

[lisaerin]

Yeah, or when I automatically associate things with the BSC and can't say it because I don't know if anyone would know what I'm talking about. I saw this girl had on orange nail polish, green toenail polish, and an outfit that didn't match, and I immediately thought of Claudia saying that Janine's nail polish didn't match with her outfit.

[awishfuldreamer]

Still in Japan! I'll be leaving in August though. I went to the After JET conference and am thinking about trying to get my foot in the door of the translation world. I don't think I'm good enough yet, but am cramming like mad so I can at least have the N2 under my belt before leaving. How about you? IIRC, you work in translation, right?

And as usual, I love your comments. Thanks for filling me in on the BSC stuff I definitely didn't know. I think I've only read two super specials so I have a lot of gaps in my knowledge of the canon! D:

[awishfuldreamer]

I haven't finished reading, but I'm almost positive he will continue to play the part of the victim and never really apologize or act guilty. I really did have to look at funny gifs to quell the rage while snarking.

[awishfuldreamer]

I'm really sorry. I can't imagine how difficult that would be.

Patrick's behavior is probably why I stopped snarking and forgot about the book for so long. Reading about him made me so mad. And even though the BSC movie was pretty bad, I always got really upset at how Patrick just leaves without telling Kristy, makes her keep it a secret that he's back, and doesn't attempt to contact any of his other children. The only thing that movie accomplished was showing how big an A-hole he is.

[road_baby]

Ugh. I hate Patrick. I had an absentee father too and if he came up out of the blue and was like 'Be in my wedding! BFFs!' I would have been like 'Bitch, I don't know you!' Whenever he did come to visit I would just take whatever he'd brought me and go back in the house. Then when I heard he'd been murdered I was like 'Whatever' and went back to looking at a sandwich (it was during a baby shower and my first time seeing a 5' sub). Funnily enough his name was Adolph and he was an ass.

I hadn't heard the theory that Elizabeth had DM out of desperation. I have heard that DM is really Richard's kid and that's the reason Patrick left but reading this I think he's just a giant asshole. And Charlie friggin' rocks in this book! He totally deserves kissy time with Janine!

[awishfuldreamer]

I'm sorry to hear that. I can't even imagine.

The theory about DM being Richard's baby is kind of amusing, but I think Patrick is just an ass. He was probably like "A FOURTH kid. NOPE." I can just picture him being a douche and not helping take care of the baby or anything.

[gimere]

"Aren't you going to congratulate me?" Patrick asks when no one says anything.

No, but I'll be happy to kick you in the balls.

Stacey’s Problem, about her five boyfriends? I could interpret that cover as either “I just got my first period!” or “Shit, herpes?”

LOL, nice one.

And what do you know…it’s supposed to be the start of eighth grade. AGAIN. Jesus Christ, what were they thinking?!?!?!

Exactly. The constant repetition of 8th grade is bad enough in the original series, but it's even worse in the FF books.

[awishfuldreamer]

The constant repetition is just so frustrating. Even as a kid I would roll my eyes when they mentioned starting 8th grade yet again. How do they explain when all the 8th grade events happened, then? When was it all supposed to have happened?! *explosion of rage*

I owned one of the later editions of book #10 and ANM simply writes that she and her editor felt it was best to leave the girls at the same age from that point on. I always wished they would have just aged them so we could have followed them to high school.

[littlelatte]

While I'm glad to see Kristy have a storyline involving Patrick at last - usually all we hear is "my dad abandoned us but it's cool because my stepdad is a REAL LIVE MILLIONAIRE! - it's upsetting to see how much of an asshole he really is. I read this book but don't really remember how it ends. I have a vague idea, but from what I do remember it's not really satisfying. But to be fair, at this point the only satisfying thing would be to have Patrick get bitch slapped. Repeatedly.

Your book cover & gif captions are hilarious! For some reason the Finn & Quinn one cracked me up, even if it's still a little sad to see Cory. The UK covers are terrifyingly awesome. Like you, I probably wouldn't have started reading them if we had those covers too. (Sorry UK!)

[awishfuldreamer]

But to be fair, at this point the only satisfying thing would be to have Patrick get bitch slapped. Repeatedly.

This x 1 million. I think I would kiss the book if it actually came to pass.