Baby-sitters on Board! Part 1!
Hello, dolls! How's everyone today? Me? I'm doing much better! This snark isn't anywhere as bad as the last. Yes, Dawn is still a bitch and K. Ron is too but they're pretty beta. I've been wanting to do this snark for a while because when I was around 10, I went on a trip to Disney World with my mam and Grampy. So, I also felt kinship for this one. Yeah, we didn't go on a cruise but it was still familar enough. So, even though there's stupid bitchiness and Karen to boot, I actually enjoy this book. Also when I had to title my word file I named it 'bsonboard' and there's plenty of BS. Well, let'sa go!
-Song of the Day-
Let's talk the cover, won't we? K. ron is looking appropriately mannish. Stacey and Dawn are, as always, indistinguishable but I'm guessing that's Stacey in the pink. Because of course Dawn would shove her way to the front. Nice parenting fail there by letting your tiny children lean out the fucking railings. Also Karen, if that is her, has no neck and a box for a body. MA is actually pretty cute but I question her wearing short sleeves on a sunny cruise ship deck. And the less said about Claudia's sweater, the better.
Epilogue!
Ah! The first Super Special and the first Super Special layout that will never be used again, I'm sure! It's a thank you from all the little 'Brook brats to their irresponsible parents! And are they brats? Why of course they are! Saying that this vacation is much better than the time they went to a turkey farm! Because you should always set your parents up for guilt and high standards! 'What? You want to take us apple picking? But why not Disney World again?!' You know that little shit Karen would at least say that. But it would just be brushed off as sassy. Sorry, but the only Sassy for me is the old magazine. Karen can eat a light bulb.
Chapter 1! Kristy!
K. Ron is shrieking like a banshee in excitement to be at an airport getting ready to go on a trip. Because she's the worst person in the world, Dawn snots at her that 'Uh, haven't you been in an airport before? I go all the time because neither of my parents want me around and shuttle me across the country. Did I mention I'm better than you? Well, I'm better than you.' Jesus Christo, Dawn, shut the fuck up! You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for Watson being a madman. K. Ron says, of course she's been in an airport before but she's never been on a dream vacation. Cue exposition.
Mr. Pike won a contest at his work to name a new product even though he's a lawyer and law firms aren't known for producing things, so he gets to take his whole damned family on a trip to the Bahamas and Disney World. Hmm! So! A company is totally willing to shell out a small fortune to take a man with 8 fucking kids on a trip to expensive places?! Why yes! That sounds totally plausible to me! Oh! And to those 10 people he's gonna add two mother's helpers also on the company buck! Still plausible! Did I mention I recently stabbed out a part of my brain doing a Session 9 reenactment? Decause I bid!
And so we don't forget that Watson doesn't know how to act properly unless he's going to one of his child avoidance estate sales, he decides to take all his family along on someone elses vacation. Because, get this, K. Ron has never been out of state. So, I guess that annual school trip SMS takes to Vermont was in the embassy in Connecticut. Good to know. And because he's Rich Uncle Skeleton, Watson invites Dawn and Claudia along too so no BSC member feels left out. Man, I'd be pissed if I was MA and Stacey. If the Pikes hadn't hired them, they'd still be able to go with the added bonus of not having to watch the Pike apes.
Back at the actual story, the 'Brook crews flight is announced and that means herding all the apes onto the plane. K. Ron pats her new camera and I take a moment to kiss my phone and digital camera because Holy Hell, I remember what a pain it was to have a real camera that you had to buy film for and couldn't see what picture you just took looked like. Cameras that you had to deal with bad pics because you took what you could get. Cameras you couldn't take into DecoPic and add sparkles and flowers and text. Now, I'm not saying the 80s were our Great Depression but...I don't know how to finish that sentence.
They board the plane and Karen is a snot and Dawn is a snot and it's nice that some things never change. I think if either of them ever acted like decent human beings, I'd have to sock myself in the jaw to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. Once they're in the air, the steward takes the little kids to the cockpit to chat up the pilots and get their wings. Yeah, good luck with that now. Now they beat you over the head and fist you up to the back of your teeth if you even look at the cockpit.
K. Ron calls the BSC over and says they should hold meetings once a day to talk over how the kids are doing. Not everything revolves around children, you crazed dictator! And if I was Claudia or Dawn (well, not Dawn. If I was Dawn I'd throw myself in the most convenient black hole) I would laugh and say, 'I'm on vacation, you fucking psycho! I'm not watching a single kid! Nor am I taking time out to discuss them! Take your meetings and shove them up your ass!' K. Ron further says they should also think of a gift to give the parents since this was 'awful nice'. Um, no. Mr. P won this vacation by crazy chance, so his kids are out. Stacey and MA are working, so why the Hell should they thank someone for a job? You and your siblings are just along because Watson lacks manners. Only Claudia and Dawn should be thanking anyone because they're just along so they don't feel 'left out'. Take your gift and shove it up your ass. I'll touch on this later so, write that down in your copybooks. The plane lands and that was an eventful chapter.
Chapter 2! Bitch! I mean! Dawn!
Dawn, I mean, bitch, says that she's never been on a cruise before and are we supossed to think that's odd? I'm more than twice her age and I've never been on a cruise. She's never even seen a cruise ship except the Love Boat and some boat on I Love Lucy. Really? Because I seem to recall about 50,000,000 commercials for Disney cruise lines playing around this time. It was around the same time that Godawful Full House episode came out where I wanted to beat Michelle to death with a tank. Granted, that was my reaction every time that ugly brat was on screen. Why did I watch that show when I hated everyone in it so much? Maybe because Stamos is pretty. MA tells Dawn about all the amenities aboard the ship such as-'pools, a beauty parlor, a barbershop, a cafe, a disco, stores, and restaurants [and] a health spa.' A disco? This was 1988, disco was long dead. But I guess they couldn't say 'club' because K. Ron would sink the ship for copyright infringement.
As they board the ship, K. Ron says she hopes Dawn and Claudia don't mind a bit of a mess, because she's not the cleanest person around. Okay, fine. I'm the same way. My room looks like an episode of Hoarders, but ya know something? When I'm around other people, sharing a small space, I fucking pick up after myself. Why? Because I'm a decent fucking person who knows not to make others uncomfortable on purpose. But because K. Ron isn't a decent person, we'll be seeing this stupid subject broached more than once. And Goddamn, Dawn was a bitch way early in the series because when K. Ron mentions that Dawn is neat Dawn snaps back 'Spotless'. Yeah, write that down in your copybook.
They get all excited over the mini shampoos and shit because they're four fucking years old, and K. Ron finds a deck of cards and throws the wrapper on the ground. Jesus Christ, Kristin! I know I said I'm messy but I also said I don't do shit like that because I'm not a little big piece of shit with no manners. Can she really not step two feet to the waste bin?! It's not at the other end of a football field! It's a tiny cabin! Then she gets mad when Dawn picks it up. Because she'd rather it stay on the floor her whole trip. Can you imagine being a maid with K. Ron staying at your hotel? The place would be a mess to clean up and then her stupid, mean ass would probably complain to management when you did! Claudia should have locked them both in the bathroom and have them eat each other.
They hear the ship's horn and go running to watch it depart. People are screaming and waving and somehow, some fucking how, over all that noise, they hear one fucking woman yell to her kid not to forget to change his chonies. Do we need a visual aid? We need a visual aid.
-Logic?! What that?! A car model?!-Ann, probably-
Do you not see the problem here, Ann?! A big ass crowd in the red circle cannot hear something that fucking specific yelled from a big ass crowd from the yellow circle! Hell, you can barely make out what someone is saying in a noisy room! But why would Ann know this as no one would invite her to a party. There's also one woman just waving a handkerchief and crying. Ann! Meth is not a suitable substitute for sugar on your corn flakes! It's a fucking Disney cruise not a boat taking loved ones to the salt mines!
Once that's over with, they look around to find out where everyone is staying. Then Dawn suggests they go clean up their cabin.
Claudia sees this as the stupidity it is and tells her it's the first day of their vacation, not really the ideal time to start cleaning up. She also says she hopes K. Ron and her aren't going to spend the whole time fighting because that will make her cut a bitch. K. Ron says she doesn't like it when people pick up after her and there's a simple solution to that, your highness. DON'T FUCKING THROW LITERAL TRASH ON THE GROUND WHEN SHARING A SMALL SPACE. They all go their separate ways and Dawn runs into a guy that is the most-'absolutely gorgeous, handsome, perfect, wonderful boy [she] have ever laid eyes on.' She notes he has a gap in his tooth...
-Sexy!-
Also, Was the gap in Tess's teeth not gorgeous, perfect, and wonderful? Haha! Of course it wasn't! She's a girl! Girls aren't allowed flaws! They need to be torn down if so much as a hair is mussed! Unless you're Claudia! Haha! I hate you, Ann! They walk around to the railing (push her over, guy!) and Dawn mentions that she's traveling in a pack of idiots. She asks who he's traveling with and he's like 'Oh, wow! Such time! Much go!' and runs away. Dawn wonders if her question was boring and I dunno. I would say he just can smell the world's bitchiest skank and decided he doesn't need bitch juice ruining his clothes. But since only Dawn's feelings matter to Dawn, she's determined not to let this dream boy get away! Run, Gappy! Run!
Chapter 3!-Mary Anne!
Oh, my sweet cat Gods. This chapter is wicked boring. I'm reading through it trying to find some points of interest and there's nothing. Something finally happens when MA takes Nicky and Vanessa to explore the ship and sees some big boobie girl at the salon. MA is and awe and actually says 'wow' out loud. I'll just leave this here.
-Haha. Just kidding. No one in the 'Brook is as perfect as Deadpool.-
Chesty Morgan turns around and starts chatting about how boring it is to travel alone! It's such a pain when you're parents were ki-'Oh, Chesty! Time for your haircut!' calls salon lady! 'What the fuck were her parents?!' MA screams internally. Were they kissed?! Kicked?! Omg! Killed?! Gee, Mary Anne, which do you think it was? You think they were both kicked so hard in the fork they had to skip a family vacation? MA further thinks that she can never be as 'sophisticated' as Chesty. What? You don't think you can ever travel alone? Is it because she has big boobies? If big boobies make you sophisticated, I'm the fucking mayor of Sophisticate City! Also now I have 'Now You're a Man' by DVDA in my head. They also spot some kid running and think he's a stowaway.
Chapter 4! Mallory!
Oh, dear sweet Jesus on an iceberg. I totally forgot about Mal's story line. Now, I've said before, but when I was little I hated Mal. She's just such a loser. And story lines like this one don't help. Mal just got done reading Harriet the Spy and thought, 'Hey! That's a good idea that didn't backfire horribly on her! I should do that too!' So, she goes sneaking around spying on people. She sees Chesty who's wearing-'the teeniest bikini you can imagine'. Uhhhh. Really? Because I Googled 'small bikini' and I don't want to think of a barely teen girl wearing that. What is with Ann and thinking little girls should be showing as much skin as possible? That this makes you grown-up and sophisticated? Sick.
Some boy walks up to Chesty and smiles at her. Mal creams her panties because omg! Maybe a boy will like her someday! Yeah, keep dreaming, Gingy. Chesty talks about how she makes movies. She's an actress, after all! Yup! Sounds totally legit! If she was an actress, wouldn't Mal, you know, recognise her? Was she like, in Sharknado or something? 'I was totally in a stadium scene of Baseketball! I'm a star!'
They saunter away and Mal decides this is a good place for spying. She sees a depressed old man and 'invents' a tragic back story for him when K. Ron and Claudia walk by. She panics because they'll be totally suspicious of a wannabe writer writing in a notebook and hides her face. Because a giant, ginger mane is so easy to hide if you shove a notebook in front of it. Mal sucks at spying. And life. K. Ron asks Claudia what Dawn's deal is. Why can't she just ignore her being a total slob and messing up their small shared space? Okay, I hate Dawn more than any other member, but Jesus Christ, SHUT UP! I can't stand messy people who get pissed at someone cleaning up after them. Like, where even is the logic on that? 'I'm gonna be a total messy sewer rat which you don't like. But if you clean up after me, not hurting me in any way, I'm gonna be mad at you and blame you!' You know what I feel when someone cleans up after me? Fucking grateful! I'm messy and don't like to clean so when someone does it for me, I'm like thank you! God I hate Kristy!
Depressed old man asks K. Ron for the time which Mal thinks is this big amazing deal because she's both dull and stupid. She decides that she's too exposed where she is and heads for another deck. Going down a hall she sees a bunch of crew carrying medical supplies and a wee little boy in a wheelchair. They go into a room and Mal, the 'smart' one, wonders what that could possibly mean?! Really, Mal? Really?! You can't figure out why the parents of a sick little boy would be taking him on a nice vacation to Disney World? Let nobody mistake Mal for being smart ever again in this comm.
As she's writing down this big mystery, a giant redhead with a missing tooth squeezes by her and she nearly has a heart attack. Not because giant redheads with missing teeth are scary, but because this particular one happens to be Spider of the band the Insects. *whispers* 'Spiders aren't insects'. But he's obviously not the brightest seeing as he's only missing a tooth because he hit himself in the face with his guitar. Also, Mal says that the Insects are like, her most favourite band ever! Yeah, that's believable. Shouldn't her goony ass be listening to New Kids on the Block or something? After that she sees the running boy and thinks it's a stowaway too.
Chapter 5! Ka-What?! Fucking NO!
Nobody wants this, right? Nobody wants a chapter of Karen the Horrible running away, lying, and charging money to her rich daddy without permission, right? Let's watch this instead and see why I'm naming my indie band Matches for Mikey.
-Song of the Day-
Let's talk the cover, won't we? K. ron is looking appropriately mannish. Stacey and Dawn are, as always, indistinguishable but I'm guessing that's Stacey in the pink. Because of course Dawn would shove her way to the front. Nice parenting fail there by letting your tiny children lean out the fucking railings. Also Karen, if that is her, has no neck and a box for a body. MA is actually pretty cute but I question her wearing short sleeves on a sunny cruise ship deck. And the less said about Claudia's sweater, the better.
Epilogue!
Ah! The first Super Special and the first Super Special layout that will never be used again, I'm sure! It's a thank you from all the little 'Brook brats to their irresponsible parents! And are they brats? Why of course they are! Saying that this vacation is much better than the time they went to a turkey farm! Because you should always set your parents up for guilt and high standards! 'What? You want to take us apple picking? But why not Disney World again?!' You know that little shit Karen would at least say that. But it would just be brushed off as sassy. Sorry, but the only Sassy for me is the old magazine. Karen can eat a light bulb.
Chapter 1! Kristy!
K. Ron is shrieking like a banshee in excitement to be at an airport getting ready to go on a trip. Because she's the worst person in the world, Dawn snots at her that 'Uh, haven't you been in an airport before? I go all the time because neither of my parents want me around and shuttle me across the country. Did I mention I'm better than you? Well, I'm better than you.' Jesus Christo, Dawn, shut the fuck up! You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for Watson being a madman. K. Ron says, of course she's been in an airport before but she's never been on a dream vacation. Cue exposition.
Mr. Pike won a contest at his work to name a new product even though he's a lawyer and law firms aren't known for producing things, so he gets to take his whole damned family on a trip to the Bahamas and Disney World. Hmm! So! A company is totally willing to shell out a small fortune to take a man with 8 fucking kids on a trip to expensive places?! Why yes! That sounds totally plausible to me! Oh! And to those 10 people he's gonna add two mother's helpers also on the company buck! Still plausible! Did I mention I recently stabbed out a part of my brain doing a Session 9 reenactment? Decause I bid!
And so we don't forget that Watson doesn't know how to act properly unless he's going to one of his child avoidance estate sales, he decides to take all his family along on someone elses vacation. Because, get this, K. Ron has never been out of state. So, I guess that annual school trip SMS takes to Vermont was in the embassy in Connecticut. Good to know. And because he's Rich Uncle Skeleton, Watson invites Dawn and Claudia along too so no BSC member feels left out. Man, I'd be pissed if I was MA and Stacey. If the Pikes hadn't hired them, they'd still be able to go with the added bonus of not having to watch the Pike apes.
Back at the actual story, the 'Brook crews flight is announced and that means herding all the apes onto the plane. K. Ron pats her new camera and I take a moment to kiss my phone and digital camera because Holy Hell, I remember what a pain it was to have a real camera that you had to buy film for and couldn't see what picture you just took looked like. Cameras that you had to deal with bad pics because you took what you could get. Cameras you couldn't take into DecoPic and add sparkles and flowers and text. Now, I'm not saying the 80s were our Great Depression but...I don't know how to finish that sentence.
They board the plane and Karen is a snot and Dawn is a snot and it's nice that some things never change. I think if either of them ever acted like decent human beings, I'd have to sock myself in the jaw to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. Once they're in the air, the steward takes the little kids to the cockpit to chat up the pilots and get their wings. Yeah, good luck with that now. Now they beat you over the head and fist you up to the back of your teeth if you even look at the cockpit.
K. Ron calls the BSC over and says they should hold meetings once a day to talk over how the kids are doing. Not everything revolves around children, you crazed dictator! And if I was Claudia or Dawn (well, not Dawn. If I was Dawn I'd throw myself in the most convenient black hole) I would laugh and say, 'I'm on vacation, you fucking psycho! I'm not watching a single kid! Nor am I taking time out to discuss them! Take your meetings and shove them up your ass!' K. Ron further says they should also think of a gift to give the parents since this was 'awful nice'. Um, no. Mr. P won this vacation by crazy chance, so his kids are out. Stacey and MA are working, so why the Hell should they thank someone for a job? You and your siblings are just along because Watson lacks manners. Only Claudia and Dawn should be thanking anyone because they're just along so they don't feel 'left out'. Take your gift and shove it up your ass. I'll touch on this later so, write that down in your copybooks. The plane lands and that was an eventful chapter.
Chapter 2! Bitch! I mean! Dawn!
Dawn, I mean, bitch, says that she's never been on a cruise before and are we supossed to think that's odd? I'm more than twice her age and I've never been on a cruise. She's never even seen a cruise ship except the Love Boat and some boat on I Love Lucy. Really? Because I seem to recall about 50,000,000 commercials for Disney cruise lines playing around this time. It was around the same time that Godawful Full House episode came out where I wanted to beat Michelle to death with a tank. Granted, that was my reaction every time that ugly brat was on screen. Why did I watch that show when I hated everyone in it so much? Maybe because Stamos is pretty. MA tells Dawn about all the amenities aboard the ship such as-'pools, a beauty parlor, a barbershop, a cafe, a disco, stores, and restaurants [and] a health spa.' A disco? This was 1988, disco was long dead. But I guess they couldn't say 'club' because K. Ron would sink the ship for copyright infringement.
As they board the ship, K. Ron says she hopes Dawn and Claudia don't mind a bit of a mess, because she's not the cleanest person around. Okay, fine. I'm the same way. My room looks like an episode of Hoarders, but ya know something? When I'm around other people, sharing a small space, I fucking pick up after myself. Why? Because I'm a decent fucking person who knows not to make others uncomfortable on purpose. But because K. Ron isn't a decent person, we'll be seeing this stupid subject broached more than once. And Goddamn, Dawn was a bitch way early in the series because when K. Ron mentions that Dawn is neat Dawn snaps back 'Spotless'. Yeah, write that down in your copybook.
They get all excited over the mini shampoos and shit because they're four fucking years old, and K. Ron finds a deck of cards and throws the wrapper on the ground. Jesus Christ, Kristin! I know I said I'm messy but I also said I don't do shit like that because I'm not a little big piece of shit with no manners. Can she really not step two feet to the waste bin?! It's not at the other end of a football field! It's a tiny cabin! Then she gets mad when Dawn picks it up. Because she'd rather it stay on the floor her whole trip. Can you imagine being a maid with K. Ron staying at your hotel? The place would be a mess to clean up and then her stupid, mean ass would probably complain to management when you did! Claudia should have locked them both in the bathroom and have them eat each other.
They hear the ship's horn and go running to watch it depart. People are screaming and waving and somehow, some fucking how, over all that noise, they hear one fucking woman yell to her kid not to forget to change his chonies. Do we need a visual aid? We need a visual aid.
-Logic?! What that?! A car model?!-Ann, probably-
Do you not see the problem here, Ann?! A big ass crowd in the red circle cannot hear something that fucking specific yelled from a big ass crowd from the yellow circle! Hell, you can barely make out what someone is saying in a noisy room! But why would Ann know this as no one would invite her to a party. There's also one woman just waving a handkerchief and crying. Ann! Meth is not a suitable substitute for sugar on your corn flakes! It's a fucking Disney cruise not a boat taking loved ones to the salt mines!
Once that's over with, they look around to find out where everyone is staying. Then Dawn suggests they go clean up their cabin.
Claudia sees this as the stupidity it is and tells her it's the first day of their vacation, not really the ideal time to start cleaning up. She also says she hopes K. Ron and her aren't going to spend the whole time fighting because that will make her cut a bitch. K. Ron says she doesn't like it when people pick up after her and there's a simple solution to that, your highness. DON'T FUCKING THROW LITERAL TRASH ON THE GROUND WHEN SHARING A SMALL SPACE. They all go their separate ways and Dawn runs into a guy that is the most-'absolutely gorgeous, handsome, perfect, wonderful boy [she] have ever laid eyes on.' She notes he has a gap in his tooth...
-Sexy!-
Also, Was the gap in Tess's teeth not gorgeous, perfect, and wonderful? Haha! Of course it wasn't! She's a girl! Girls aren't allowed flaws! They need to be torn down if so much as a hair is mussed! Unless you're Claudia! Haha! I hate you, Ann! They walk around to the railing (push her over, guy!) and Dawn mentions that she's traveling in a pack of idiots. She asks who he's traveling with and he's like 'Oh, wow! Such time! Much go!' and runs away. Dawn wonders if her question was boring and I dunno. I would say he just can smell the world's bitchiest skank and decided he doesn't need bitch juice ruining his clothes. But since only Dawn's feelings matter to Dawn, she's determined not to let this dream boy get away! Run, Gappy! Run!
Chapter 3!-Mary Anne!
Oh, my sweet cat Gods. This chapter is wicked boring. I'm reading through it trying to find some points of interest and there's nothing. Something finally happens when MA takes Nicky and Vanessa to explore the ship and sees some big boobie girl at the salon. MA is and awe and actually says 'wow' out loud. I'll just leave this here.
-Haha. Just kidding. No one in the 'Brook is as perfect as Deadpool.-
Chesty Morgan turns around and starts chatting about how boring it is to travel alone! It's such a pain when you're parents were ki-'Oh, Chesty! Time for your haircut!' calls salon lady! 'What the fuck were her parents?!' MA screams internally. Were they kissed?! Kicked?! Omg! Killed?! Gee, Mary Anne, which do you think it was? You think they were both kicked so hard in the fork they had to skip a family vacation? MA further thinks that she can never be as 'sophisticated' as Chesty. What? You don't think you can ever travel alone? Is it because she has big boobies? If big boobies make you sophisticated, I'm the fucking mayor of Sophisticate City! Also now I have 'Now You're a Man' by DVDA in my head. They also spot some kid running and think he's a stowaway.
Chapter 4! Mallory!
Oh, dear sweet Jesus on an iceberg. I totally forgot about Mal's story line. Now, I've said before, but when I was little I hated Mal. She's just such a loser. And story lines like this one don't help. Mal just got done reading Harriet the Spy and thought, 'Hey! That's a good idea that didn't backfire horribly on her! I should do that too!' So, she goes sneaking around spying on people. She sees Chesty who's wearing-'the teeniest bikini you can imagine'. Uhhhh. Really? Because I Googled 'small bikini' and I don't want to think of a barely teen girl wearing that. What is with Ann and thinking little girls should be showing as much skin as possible? That this makes you grown-up and sophisticated? Sick.
Some boy walks up to Chesty and smiles at her. Mal creams her panties because omg! Maybe a boy will like her someday! Yeah, keep dreaming, Gingy. Chesty talks about how she makes movies. She's an actress, after all! Yup! Sounds totally legit! If she was an actress, wouldn't Mal, you know, recognise her? Was she like, in Sharknado or something? 'I was totally in a stadium scene of Baseketball! I'm a star!'
They saunter away and Mal decides this is a good place for spying. She sees a depressed old man and 'invents' a tragic back story for him when K. Ron and Claudia walk by. She panics because they'll be totally suspicious of a wannabe writer writing in a notebook and hides her face. Because a giant, ginger mane is so easy to hide if you shove a notebook in front of it. Mal sucks at spying. And life. K. Ron asks Claudia what Dawn's deal is. Why can't she just ignore her being a total slob and messing up their small shared space? Okay, I hate Dawn more than any other member, but Jesus Christ, SHUT UP! I can't stand messy people who get pissed at someone cleaning up after them. Like, where even is the logic on that? 'I'm gonna be a total messy sewer rat which you don't like. But if you clean up after me, not hurting me in any way, I'm gonna be mad at you and blame you!' You know what I feel when someone cleans up after me? Fucking grateful! I'm messy and don't like to clean so when someone does it for me, I'm like thank you! God I hate Kristy!
Depressed old man asks K. Ron for the time which Mal thinks is this big amazing deal because she's both dull and stupid. She decides that she's too exposed where she is and heads for another deck. Going down a hall she sees a bunch of crew carrying medical supplies and a wee little boy in a wheelchair. They go into a room and Mal, the 'smart' one, wonders what that could possibly mean?! Really, Mal? Really?! You can't figure out why the parents of a sick little boy would be taking him on a nice vacation to Disney World? Let nobody mistake Mal for being smart ever again in this comm.
As she's writing down this big mystery, a giant redhead with a missing tooth squeezes by her and she nearly has a heart attack. Not because giant redheads with missing teeth are scary, but because this particular one happens to be Spider of the band the Insects. *whispers* 'Spiders aren't insects'. But he's obviously not the brightest seeing as he's only missing a tooth because he hit himself in the face with his guitar. Also, Mal says that the Insects are like, her most favourite band ever! Yeah, that's believable. Shouldn't her goony ass be listening to New Kids on the Block or something? After that she sees the running boy and thinks it's a stowaway too.
Chapter 5! Ka-What?! Fucking NO!
Nobody wants this, right? Nobody wants a chapter of Karen the Horrible running away, lying, and charging money to her rich daddy without permission, right? Let's watch this instead and see why I'm naming my indie band Matches for Mikey.
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