BSC SUPER SPECIAL #5: CALIFORNIA GIRLS!!
OR DON’T THESE BIT*#ES DO ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES GO TO THE DAMN BEACH?! PART 3!!!
Hello all. Apparently, we’re due for more snow, winds, and all that good stuff. Freaking Hell, I just want the spring to come, so I can sit on my damn sunporch without freezing my tush off. Since I’m stuck inside for a while longer, I decided to snark some more for you all. Do you feel lucky? I know I do J!!!
Before the snarking commences, I must thank all of you guys for my awesome comments, and well wishes! Holy Cow, some of you make me teary eyed, I thank you for your awesome comments and I have this for you in thanks:and this as well:
Enjoy!!!
Now, enough of the mushy stuff, let’s drive right into Part 3!!!
Chapter 7:
Mary Anne writes a postcard to Logan about her babysitting job and the We Love Kids Club. Like he really fucking cares, he’s too busy plowing Cokie Manson, in order to prove that those feelings he gets when he watches Austin and Pete change in the locker rooms don’t mean a fucking thing.
Mary Anne starts her day, happy that K-Ron isn’t making her write in the club notebook about the job with Stephie. And WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE? STEPHIE’S IN FUCKING CALIFORNIA, SHE ISN’T GOING HOME WITH YOU, YOU FUCKING COW? Man, K-Ron sucks.
Mary Anne gets to the job and it turns out that Stephie is a fucking Mini-Me version of Mary Anne, down to the overprotective father and dead mother. Stephie usually has a nannie taking care of her while her dad is at work, but the luscious Joanna got called away to a ‘Pimps ‘N’ Hoes’ weekend, so Daddy’s been lining up sitters.
She gets to the house and a girl ‘maybe sixteen or eighteen’ answers the door and introduces herself as Lisa Meri , the morning sitter. She tells Mary Anne that Stephie hasn’t eaten her lunch yet, and NO SHIT SPARKY, its lunchtime now. I know most people can eat earlier or later, but its NOON now.
Mary Anne asks Lisa Meri questions about Stephie’s asthma and it’s really fucking hard to believe with all the sitting this bitch does, she hasn’t run into a kid with it yet. I had like six or seven fucking kids in my class with different forms of it. Lisa Meri tells her that Stephie’s asthma is tied to her emotions, but she can still run and play as long as she has her inhaler and pills with her. She tells Mary Anne to remember that Stephie is shy and be ‘sensitive’ to her feelings. And this is like telling Silent Bob not to say anything, fucking funny as HELL!!!Mary Anne’s all, ‘Bitch who you telling?’ and then Lisa Meri takes Mary Anne to Stephie’s room.
And what the fuck do you snarkers know? Stephie really is Mini Mary Anne, with the same Pepto Bismol walls, pink bunnies everywhere, and even the nursery rhyme characters on the fucking walls. Damn did Stephie’s father and Richard hang out in the fucking seventies or something? Stephie is sitting on her bed, curled up into a ball with ‘The Secret Garden’ next to her. Lisa Meri takes this as her time to leave, because Joanna and the rest of the Pimps ‘N’ Hoes aren’t gonna wait much longer. Mary Anne senses that Stephie might not want someone she doesn’t even fucking know sitting on her bed, and chooses an armchair.
Yea, I don’t blame Stephie. I wouldn’t want someone I barely fucking know, sitting with me on my bed. ESPECIALLY AT THAT AGE!!! Mary Anne says that her own bedroom used to look like a fucking carbon copy of Stephie’s, but neglects to say that it looked like that LAST YEAR!!!! They bond over their dead moms and overprotective fathers and while it is sweet, the ghostwriters are gonna fuck it up in like fifty books, by giving the Unholy Beast this storyline. Whatever, I have cookies and Pepsi. I don’t care.
Stephie asks if Mary Anne wants to go bike riding and Mary Anne isn’t allowed to ride boys’ bikes. WHY THE FUCK NOT? WHAT THE HELL IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH RIDING A BOYS BIKE? GODDAMNNIT RICHARD!! It doesn’t matter, because every fucking time Stephie suggests doing something the least bit physical, Mary Anne thinks the poor kid is going to go into fucking convulsions. Even though she just fucking learned that Stephie’s asthma is caused by emotions. I have no idea how asthma works, you guys let me know in the comments if you do.
Stephie suggest walking to the park and they decide to take a picnic lunch. Nice. I love picnics. They actually have a really nice time at the park and they talk some more about their strict daddies. Stephie’s dad has a rule that she can’t have friends over her house unless her dad knows the kids parents really well. And no shit there Sparky. Who didn’t have that fucking rule growing up?
They go home and read some of her book. When Mr. Robertson comes home, Stephie asks if Mary Anne can babysit again for her. And of course she can!!! When Mary Anne gets home, she is unpleasantly surprised that now K-Ron wants her to write up the job in the fucking notebook after all. Hey, K-Ron? Come here, I got something for you:
Chapter 8:
Oh No, it’s time for Mallory’s batshit insanity. I need a Pepsi and cookie break first. I’ll be back. Here’s something funny to tide you over.
Enjoy Patton Oswalt!
Mal writes to Ma and Pa Pike about going to the Max Factor Museum and that Jessi is going to see Derek and Stacey’s been surfing. Nothing about Claudia’s love life or K-Ron acting like a huge bitch even on vacation though.
Since almost everyone else is busy already doing shit we already covered, that leaves K-Ron, Dawn, and Mal with Carol. Mal talks about how the museum was dibbly fresh and I headdesk because I hate their language.
When Carol asks what the girls want to do, Dawn decides that she wants to go to stars’ homes and do the whole Hollywood thing and we get another reference to Lucille Ball. Was Ann inherit something from Lucy or something? Mal shuts that shit down by saying that she rather go to this fucking huge mall instead. She reminds the other too that Mary Anne will cut a bitch if they go to Hollywood without her.
They decide to go to the mall and it sounds like a big fucker; it has ice skating, twelve movies, video games, and that just described almost every fucking mall. Seriously, Mall at Bay Plaza, New Roc City Mall. Oh, stupid me, this must be the Galleria, I’m sure Vinny and Guy-Guy will meet you there with Alison.
(Props to whoever remembers that!!!)
Carol decides to take the girls and Jeff as well, as he had a fight with his buddy over who was the biggest Deadhead. Ok then. They get to the mall and Mal starts fantasizing about buying makeup. This is starting to become a bigger obsession than she has with fucking horses. K-Ron makes them all go ice skating and Ann must have high as fuck when she wrote this, because Mal DOESN’T fall on her ass. Shocking, I know. Then they play video games and afterwards go to eat. Carol takes them to a health food restaurant and K-Ron and Mal have to fucking search for something they want to eat. I dunno why, it’s a health food place, not vegan or vegetarian. Even if it was, I’m sure they could have found something. Fuck, I love a fucking steak or burger, but if the place had tilapia I would have been good. It’s like these bitches look for something to fucking whine about.
Carol pays the check and Mal tells everyone that she’s going to buy makeup and will met them later. Before K-Ron and Dawn can ask just what the fuck she thinks she’s doing, she makes like Claudia does when she see Mr. Softee circling the block. Mal gets to the makeup counters and gasps. I’m not kidding, bitch GASPS at seeing all the makeup. Something tells Tyra Banks would love her. The saleslady comes by and asks if she needs help. Mal figures what happens in Cali, stays in fucking Cali and tells the lady she needs a complete makeover. No joke, the lady’s fucking eyes lit up and she thanks her lucky stars; (and store’s hefty commission), for stupid fucking kids.
The lady takes a flashlight to Mal’s face; (not in the fun way) and says that Mal doesn’t have a bad face. YOU SEE THIS SHIT ANN? I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK SOME GINGER DID TO YOU, BUT MAL HAS A FACE THAT’S ‘NOT BAD’!!!! Mal asks if her freckles can be covered and lady says of course they can. Then Mal asks if she can dye her hair blonde and again I must:
The lady is spooked by this and asks Mal’s age. When she finds out that Mal’s eleven fucking years old, she tells Mal to dye her own fucking hair with washout dye, because she sure as shit ain’t doing it. Selling hundreds of dollars of cosmetics is fine, but washout dye? That’s the fucking Devil’s work! Lady tells Mal that if her parents she doesn’t like, it will wash out. AND NOT WITH JUST ONE FUCKING WASH NIMROD!! LET’S NOT FORGET THE FACT THAT MAL WOULD HAVE TO BLEACH THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HER RED LOCKS FIRST, THEN DYE IT BLONDE, AND EVEN THEN IT MIGHT NOT BE COMPLETELY BLONDE!!! WASHOUT DYE WILL NOT WORK!!! I USED A FUCKING RINSE ONCE IN MY HAIR FOR RED HIGHLIGHTS IN MY DARK BROWN HAIR AND NOT ONLY DID NOBODY NOTICE, THE RINSE TOOK LIKE TEN FUCKING WASHES TO WASH OUT!!! AND THAT WAS A RINSE, NOT A WHOLE HAIR DYE!! NIMROD!!!
So, Mal asks the lady to give her what makeup she needs and the lady whips out so many bottles and jars, you just know Mal’s getting ripped off. Anyway, Mal asks how much and while we don’t here the amount, Mal says that it’s nearly all the money she has, but decides it’s worth and now only has $6.28 left for two fucking weeks. Once again, GOOD JOB SPARKY!!! GOOD LORD, HOW MUCH FREAKIN MONEY DID SHE SPEND ON MAKEUP?
Let’s see; today a flight to California is starting in the four hundred dollar range for cheap seats, back then; ballpark let’s say 600 dollars. She won $1,428.57. Doing the math now: SHE SPENT OVER EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS ON FUCKING MAKEUP AND HAIR DYE, SHIT SHE CAN’T EVEN FUCKING USE WHEN SHE GOES HOME? WHAT A FUCKING MORON; I REALLY WISH SHE COULDN’T FIX HER FUCKING HAIR AND GOT A GODDAMN BEATING WHEN SHE GOT HOME!! BITCH HAS NO FUCKING RIGHT TO BE BITCHING ABOUT POSSIBLY GOING POOR WHEN DADDY LOSES HIS JOB LATER ON, NOT IF SHE SPENDS FUCKING EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS WILLY NILLY LIKE THIS!!! I HAVE NEVER SPENT THAT MUCH MONEY AT ONCE EVER IN MY FUCKING LIFE!! NOT EVEN ON BOOKS!! HEY MAL, THIS IS FOR YOU!!
Mal goes home and dumps out the epic bag of makeup and goes to dye her hair. And apparently it comes out blonde. Not just blonde, but a realistic, good-looking blonde.
I’d say slim to fucking none, but whatever I don’t care. I do fucking love how no one gives her shit that she fucked up her hair, but Mary Anne cuts hers into a cute fucking style and their world gets rocked. Mal is happy she’s finally a ‘real California girl’, even though she has no more fucking money, and she can’t bring any of that crap home with her, and now she’s gonna turn into a non-meat eating, preachy pain in the ass like Dawn. Serves her ass right.
Chapter 9:
Becca writes a postcard to Jessi about everything going on in their house and wants to know what Jessi’s been doing. And now we’re finally gonna hear about what the fuck happened during her visit with Derek. Joy.
Jessi gets up at the ass-crack of dawn and gets totally nervous about what the fuck to wear. You’d think she was going to a show with hot guys on it or something. And bitch is acting like she’s fucking eighteen and one of these guys is going to be there or something:
OR
OR
But she’s just going to hang with Derek and this is cause to pack an extra outfit; just in case. Just in case of what, I have no fucking clue. Still.Just.Snark.Here. And even though she already met Derek and knows he’s a fucking normal person, bitch still thinks that she’s getting picked up in a limo. Yea right.
Derek, his dad, and little brother pick her up in a freakin station wagon, SO IN YOUR FUCKING FACE, FUCKWAD!!!They drop Todd off at his school and Derek tells Jessi that his show is doing special effects on this week. She gets really excited until she realizes that the building is just a regular building and the show’s set is less glamorous than she thought it was going to be. No shit.
Derek goes to learn his lines, and his dad tells Jessi that there won’t be much filming that day, but all of the cast will be there. And I call bullshit, because I don’t think that happens a lot for TV shows, but I really have no fucking clue at all. Mr. Masters says that Jessi can get an autograph of that kid Becca likes for her, and they watch the kids for a while. And it’s fucking boring. All it is, is the kids are learning the lines and the crew are blocking the fucking shots. WOOHOO!!!!
Later on, Derek and the kids go to tutoring and Jessi learns about special effects. Did you guys know that animation is done on computers? Cause I didn’t. No, I thought that animation was done by fucking magic. And she talks about the sound effects , how they have to clomp stuff around to make it sound like footsteps. Because it’s not like a kid would know that already with that Nickelodeon special, ‘Buy Me That’ coming out the year before or anything. The one with this asshole:
The director says that he needs more extras for a crowd scene and Jessi gets picked because the director ‘likes her looks’. EWWW! The scene takes three fucking hours and Jessi gets the fucking acting bug again, even though she decided she rather be a dancer in that book where she played Sleeping Beauty. Derek tells her that she should try to get an agent or try out for a show and I’d think a director that would hire a child without her parents’ permission is fifty shades of fucking wrong, but whatever. Chapter’s over.
That’s all for now folks. More coming soon. Once again, thank you for reading, commenting, and enjoying. You guys forever rock!!
See you soon!!
Hello all. Apparently, we’re due for more snow, winds, and all that good stuff. Freaking Hell, I just want the spring to come, so I can sit on my damn sunporch without freezing my tush off. Since I’m stuck inside for a while longer, I decided to snark some more for you all. Do you feel lucky? I know I do J!!!
Before the snarking commences, I must thank all of you guys for my awesome comments, and well wishes! Holy Cow, some of you make me teary eyed, I thank you for your awesome comments and I have this for you in thanks:and this as well:
Click to viewEnjoy!!!
Now, enough of the mushy stuff, let’s drive right into Part 3!!!
Chapter 7:
Mary Anne writes a postcard to Logan about her babysitting job and the We Love Kids Club. Like he really fucking cares, he’s too busy plowing Cokie Manson, in order to prove that those feelings he gets when he watches Austin and Pete change in the locker rooms don’t mean a fucking thing.
Mary Anne starts her day, happy that K-Ron isn’t making her write in the club notebook about the job with Stephie. And WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE? STEPHIE’S IN FUCKING CALIFORNIA, SHE ISN’T GOING HOME WITH YOU, YOU FUCKING COW? Man, K-Ron sucks.
Mary Anne gets to the job and it turns out that Stephie is a fucking Mini-Me version of Mary Anne, down to the overprotective father and dead mother. Stephie usually has a nannie taking care of her while her dad is at work, but the luscious Joanna got called away to a ‘Pimps ‘N’ Hoes’ weekend, so Daddy’s been lining up sitters.
She gets to the house and a girl ‘maybe sixteen or eighteen’ answers the door and introduces herself as Lisa Meri , the morning sitter. She tells Mary Anne that Stephie hasn’t eaten her lunch yet, and NO SHIT SPARKY, its lunchtime now. I know most people can eat earlier or later, but its NOON now.
Mary Anne asks Lisa Meri questions about Stephie’s asthma and it’s really fucking hard to believe with all the sitting this bitch does, she hasn’t run into a kid with it yet. I had like six or seven fucking kids in my class with different forms of it. Lisa Meri tells her that Stephie’s asthma is tied to her emotions, but she can still run and play as long as she has her inhaler and pills with her. She tells Mary Anne to remember that Stephie is shy and be ‘sensitive’ to her feelings. And this is like telling Silent Bob not to say anything, fucking funny as HELL!!!Mary Anne’s all, ‘Bitch who you telling?’ and then Lisa Meri takes Mary Anne to Stephie’s room.
And what the fuck do you snarkers know? Stephie really is Mini Mary Anne, with the same Pepto Bismol walls, pink bunnies everywhere, and even the nursery rhyme characters on the fucking walls. Damn did Stephie’s father and Richard hang out in the fucking seventies or something? Stephie is sitting on her bed, curled up into a ball with ‘The Secret Garden’ next to her. Lisa Meri takes this as her time to leave, because Joanna and the rest of the Pimps ‘N’ Hoes aren’t gonna wait much longer. Mary Anne senses that Stephie might not want someone she doesn’t even fucking know sitting on her bed, and chooses an armchair.
Yea, I don’t blame Stephie. I wouldn’t want someone I barely fucking know, sitting with me on my bed. ESPECIALLY AT THAT AGE!!! Mary Anne says that her own bedroom used to look like a fucking carbon copy of Stephie’s, but neglects to say that it looked like that LAST YEAR!!!! They bond over their dead moms and overprotective fathers and while it is sweet, the ghostwriters are gonna fuck it up in like fifty books, by giving the Unholy Beast this storyline. Whatever, I have cookies and Pepsi. I don’t care.
Stephie asks if Mary Anne wants to go bike riding and Mary Anne isn’t allowed to ride boys’ bikes. WHY THE FUCK NOT? WHAT THE HELL IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH RIDING A BOYS BIKE? GODDAMNNIT RICHARD!! It doesn’t matter, because every fucking time Stephie suggests doing something the least bit physical, Mary Anne thinks the poor kid is going to go into fucking convulsions. Even though she just fucking learned that Stephie’s asthma is caused by emotions. I have no idea how asthma works, you guys let me know in the comments if you do.
Stephie suggest walking to the park and they decide to take a picnic lunch. Nice. I love picnics. They actually have a really nice time at the park and they talk some more about their strict daddies. Stephie’s dad has a rule that she can’t have friends over her house unless her dad knows the kids parents really well. And no shit there Sparky. Who didn’t have that fucking rule growing up?
They go home and read some of her book. When Mr. Robertson comes home, Stephie asks if Mary Anne can babysit again for her. And of course she can!!! When Mary Anne gets home, she is unpleasantly surprised that now K-Ron wants her to write up the job in the fucking notebook after all. Hey, K-Ron? Come here, I got something for you:
Chapter 8:
Oh No, it’s time for Mallory’s batshit insanity. I need a Pepsi and cookie break first. I’ll be back. Here’s something funny to tide you over.
Enjoy Patton Oswalt!
Mal writes to Ma and Pa Pike about going to the Max Factor Museum and that Jessi is going to see Derek and Stacey’s been surfing. Nothing about Claudia’s love life or K-Ron acting like a huge bitch even on vacation though.
Since almost everyone else is busy already doing shit we already covered, that leaves K-Ron, Dawn, and Mal with Carol. Mal talks about how the museum was dibbly fresh and I headdesk because I hate their language.
When Carol asks what the girls want to do, Dawn decides that she wants to go to stars’ homes and do the whole Hollywood thing and we get another reference to Lucille Ball. Was Ann inherit something from Lucy or something? Mal shuts that shit down by saying that she rather go to this fucking huge mall instead. She reminds the other too that Mary Anne will cut a bitch if they go to Hollywood without her.
They decide to go to the mall and it sounds like a big fucker; it has ice skating, twelve movies, video games, and that just described almost every fucking mall. Seriously, Mall at Bay Plaza, New Roc City Mall. Oh, stupid me, this must be the Galleria, I’m sure Vinny and Guy-Guy will meet you there with Alison.
(Props to whoever remembers that!!!)
Carol decides to take the girls and Jeff as well, as he had a fight with his buddy over who was the biggest Deadhead. Ok then. They get to the mall and Mal starts fantasizing about buying makeup. This is starting to become a bigger obsession than she has with fucking horses. K-Ron makes them all go ice skating and Ann must have high as fuck when she wrote this, because Mal DOESN’T fall on her ass. Shocking, I know. Then they play video games and afterwards go to eat. Carol takes them to a health food restaurant and K-Ron and Mal have to fucking search for something they want to eat. I dunno why, it’s a health food place, not vegan or vegetarian. Even if it was, I’m sure they could have found something. Fuck, I love a fucking steak or burger, but if the place had tilapia I would have been good. It’s like these bitches look for something to fucking whine about.
Carol pays the check and Mal tells everyone that she’s going to buy makeup and will met them later. Before K-Ron and Dawn can ask just what the fuck she thinks she’s doing, she makes like Claudia does when she see Mr. Softee circling the block. Mal gets to the makeup counters and gasps. I’m not kidding, bitch GASPS at seeing all the makeup. Something tells Tyra Banks would love her. The saleslady comes by and asks if she needs help. Mal figures what happens in Cali, stays in fucking Cali and tells the lady she needs a complete makeover. No joke, the lady’s fucking eyes lit up and she thanks her lucky stars; (and store’s hefty commission), for stupid fucking kids.
The lady takes a flashlight to Mal’s face; (not in the fun way) and says that Mal doesn’t have a bad face. YOU SEE THIS SHIT ANN? I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK SOME GINGER DID TO YOU, BUT MAL HAS A FACE THAT’S ‘NOT BAD’!!!! Mal asks if her freckles can be covered and lady says of course they can. Then Mal asks if she can dye her hair blonde and again I must:
The lady is spooked by this and asks Mal’s age. When she finds out that Mal’s eleven fucking years old, she tells Mal to dye her own fucking hair with washout dye, because she sure as shit ain’t doing it. Selling hundreds of dollars of cosmetics is fine, but washout dye? That’s the fucking Devil’s work! Lady tells Mal that if her parents she doesn’t like, it will wash out. AND NOT WITH JUST ONE FUCKING WASH NIMROD!! LET’S NOT FORGET THE FACT THAT MAL WOULD HAVE TO BLEACH THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HER RED LOCKS FIRST, THEN DYE IT BLONDE, AND EVEN THEN IT MIGHT NOT BE COMPLETELY BLONDE!!! WASHOUT DYE WILL NOT WORK!!! I USED A FUCKING RINSE ONCE IN MY HAIR FOR RED HIGHLIGHTS IN MY DARK BROWN HAIR AND NOT ONLY DID NOBODY NOTICE, THE RINSE TOOK LIKE TEN FUCKING WASHES TO WASH OUT!!! AND THAT WAS A RINSE, NOT A WHOLE HAIR DYE!! NIMROD!!!
So, Mal asks the lady to give her what makeup she needs and the lady whips out so many bottles and jars, you just know Mal’s getting ripped off. Anyway, Mal asks how much and while we don’t here the amount, Mal says that it’s nearly all the money she has, but decides it’s worth and now only has $6.28 left for two fucking weeks. Once again, GOOD JOB SPARKY!!! GOOD LORD, HOW MUCH FREAKIN MONEY DID SHE SPEND ON MAKEUP?
Let’s see; today a flight to California is starting in the four hundred dollar range for cheap seats, back then; ballpark let’s say 600 dollars. She won $1,428.57. Doing the math now: SHE SPENT OVER EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS ON FUCKING MAKEUP AND HAIR DYE, SHIT SHE CAN’T EVEN FUCKING USE WHEN SHE GOES HOME? WHAT A FUCKING MORON; I REALLY WISH SHE COULDN’T FIX HER FUCKING HAIR AND GOT A GODDAMN BEATING WHEN SHE GOT HOME!! BITCH HAS NO FUCKING RIGHT TO BE BITCHING ABOUT POSSIBLY GOING POOR WHEN DADDY LOSES HIS JOB LATER ON, NOT IF SHE SPENDS FUCKING EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS WILLY NILLY LIKE THIS!!! I HAVE NEVER SPENT THAT MUCH MONEY AT ONCE EVER IN MY FUCKING LIFE!! NOT EVEN ON BOOKS!! HEY MAL, THIS IS FOR YOU!!
Mal goes home and dumps out the epic bag of makeup and goes to dye her hair. And apparently it comes out blonde. Not just blonde, but a realistic, good-looking blonde.
I’d say slim to fucking none, but whatever I don’t care. I do fucking love how no one gives her shit that she fucked up her hair, but Mary Anne cuts hers into a cute fucking style and their world gets rocked. Mal is happy she’s finally a ‘real California girl’, even though she has no more fucking money, and she can’t bring any of that crap home with her, and now she’s gonna turn into a non-meat eating, preachy pain in the ass like Dawn. Serves her ass right.
Chapter 9:
Becca writes a postcard to Jessi about everything going on in their house and wants to know what Jessi’s been doing. And now we’re finally gonna hear about what the fuck happened during her visit with Derek. Joy.
Jessi gets up at the ass-crack of dawn and gets totally nervous about what the fuck to wear. You’d think she was going to a show with hot guys on it or something. And bitch is acting like she’s fucking eighteen and one of these guys is going to be there or something:
OR
OR
But she’s just going to hang with Derek and this is cause to pack an extra outfit; just in case. Just in case of what, I have no fucking clue. Still.Just.Snark.Here. And even though she already met Derek and knows he’s a fucking normal person, bitch still thinks that she’s getting picked up in a limo. Yea right.
Derek, his dad, and little brother pick her up in a freakin station wagon, SO IN YOUR FUCKING FACE, FUCKWAD!!!They drop Todd off at his school and Derek tells Jessi that his show is doing special effects on this week. She gets really excited until she realizes that the building is just a regular building and the show’s set is less glamorous than she thought it was going to be. No shit.
Derek goes to learn his lines, and his dad tells Jessi that there won’t be much filming that day, but all of the cast will be there. And I call bullshit, because I don’t think that happens a lot for TV shows, but I really have no fucking clue at all. Mr. Masters says that Jessi can get an autograph of that kid Becca likes for her, and they watch the kids for a while. And it’s fucking boring. All it is, is the kids are learning the lines and the crew are blocking the fucking shots. WOOHOO!!!!
Later on, Derek and the kids go to tutoring and Jessi learns about special effects. Did you guys know that animation is done on computers? Cause I didn’t. No, I thought that animation was done by fucking magic. And she talks about the sound effects , how they have to clomp stuff around to make it sound like footsteps. Because it’s not like a kid would know that already with that Nickelodeon special, ‘Buy Me That’ coming out the year before or anything. The one with this asshole:
The director says that he needs more extras for a crowd scene and Jessi gets picked because the director ‘likes her looks’. EWWW! The scene takes three fucking hours and Jessi gets the fucking acting bug again, even though she decided she rather be a dancer in that book where she played Sleeping Beauty. Derek tells her that she should try to get an agent or try out for a show and I’d think a director that would hire a child without her parents’ permission is fifty shades of fucking wrong, but whatever. Chapter’s over.
That’s all for now folks. More coming soon. Once again, thank you for reading, commenting, and enjoying. You guys forever rock!!
See you soon!!