So what is it exactly that you do want? Are two books and a CD really all that much of an inconvenience? Why not, the next time Christmas comes around, simply tell your mum what you'd like? If she's not the kind to ask, suggest it at some point in the run-up. Mention you're not sure what's going to be happening with regard to where you're living, and you'd like to keep items like books and such down to a minimum. You don't need to relate it to previous gifts at all.
I'm not familiar with your situation, so any advice I give can only be general at best. It seems to me that you're creating a lot of stress on yourself with how you are currently handling things.
Odds are your mum will continue to buy and send you presents. If you don't want her to, simply tell her. If this causes problems, remember that it's not a reflection on you, but rather that your mum is lacking something and instead of dealing with her own issues, she is using this as a means of distracting herself. If things are bad enough between you that you want no contact at all, then would it really be so bad to go through a brief encounter in which she becomes upset, as opposed to what you're doing to yourself at the moment?
While, ideally, I'd prefer nothing at all, money/gift cards are simply 'not done' in my family.
Simply giving money (or a non-specific gift-card) is, as far as my mum is concerned, akin to saying 'I really couldn't give a damn about you, here have some cash'.
A specific gift-card/coupon like for a massage at a certain spa, or something like that, is fine. Something like Amazon would not be.
Good ideas though, I'll see if I can work them in someplace, see if she's mellowed towards the idea....
Why don't you do 'little white lies'? It seems like you would have allot less stress over this if you did. So your mum gets you books you have read/don't like, why not donate them to a library or something? or simply bin them?
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Odds are your mum will continue to buy and send you presents. If you don't want her to, simply tell her. If this causes problems, remember that it's not a reflection on you, but rather that your mum is lacking something and instead of dealing with her own issues, she is using this as a means of distracting herself. If things are bad enough between you that you want no contact at all, then would it really be so bad to go through a brief encounter in which she becomes upset, as opposed to what you're doing to yourself at the moment?
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This is largely not an option due to the stress it'll inflict upon the rest of my family.
What I'm trying to avoid, by and large, isn't whether or not I have to listen to her whine.
I mean, I have zero issues with simply hanging up if she calls.
The issues at stake are the repercussions for the rest of my family who will have to continue to deal with her....
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Simply giving money (or a non-specific gift-card) is, as far as my mum is concerned, akin to saying 'I really couldn't give a damn about you, here have some cash'.
A specific gift-card/coupon like for a massage at a certain spa, or something like that, is fine. Something like Amazon would not be.
Good ideas though, I'll see if I can work them in someplace, see if she's mellowed towards the idea....
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So your mum gets you books you have read/don't like, why not donate them to a library or something? or simply bin them?
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