Shit my Mom says

[brickhousewench]

While reading an article last week about a woman whose mother had been murdered. I copied out this one line, because I wanted to write about it. "Sometimes when I'm feeling blue, I wish I could call my mother up

Comments

[guy_todd]

I can only imagine that your mother's mother (or father) stomped all over her...

[brickhousewench]

Yeah, I didn't know my mom's parents really well. They lived too far away to visit very often. My main memories of her father were of him napping on the couch every afternoon. And of her mother baking kolache, which she always did whether we were visiting her or she was visiting our house. But I never really liked her mom a whole lot. She didn't work to make herself likable like my other gramma, who liked to spoil us with little gifts and stuff we weren't supposed to eat like sugary cereal when we visited.

[guy_todd]

I too had one Stern gramma (Canadian) and one Spoiler gramma (Polish). ;-)

[ravena_kade]

hugs.

at least as a teen I had DQ to call on because the folks didn't have it.

[brickhousewench]

Thanks.

I was just thinking the other day that I parented myself with books. Ma and Pa Ingalls taught me what a loving family was supposed to look like.

[ravena_kade]

For us the "Family" Family was the Waltons, and then we all watched Little House together (well, if it wasn't hockey season)

I am also glad that Ma and Dad did know what to do until we hit teen. I did get my values from them, they just hadn't a clue what to do after the 70s were gone. I keep in my head the good little kid times and it is why i do what I do.

[malterre]

Wow I think this goes past lack of empathy into straight-out mean. I'm really sorry but I am glad that you totally realize that you've done your part and have done nothing to provoke this.

But I think you are a great person and your Mother, regardless of what she indicates, probably is jealous of you for doing all the things she never had the guts to do herself.

Go You :)

[brickhousewench]

It's so funny that you said that. Just this morning I was arguing with my mother in my head (yeah, she lives there) about how she recently brought up that she thought I was a defiant child. And I was thinking that what was the point of even bringing that up now, except to make the point that I'm still a defiant child and won't do what she wants me to. But that's because it's MY life, it's not hers. And I think that me not living the life she wants me to is one of the tensions between us. But the life she wants me to lead is such a bad fit for who I really am, that there's no way I could live it and be happy.

[ravena_kade]

I think Maltere is right.

[fionaniconnor]

I think your gift lies in having made your life patently YOURS. You are someone whom I greatly admire for having done it your way, even though your Mom was being a twat (or going through Wasband crap, or work stuff, etc etc etc).
So if Mommy Dearest gets it in her head again to drag you down for whatever reason, tell her "you know what, Ma? I have people who love me whom I can call for some encouragement, so why don't you call me when you have something nice to say," and hang up that fucking phone (or mental conversation).

[allgudallthetim]

ooooh, that's radical....but perfect.......

[brickhousewench]

The problem is, my mother is such a master at the subtle jab that I often don't realize she's doing it until later. Sometimes I catch her right away and call her on her bullshit, but a lotta times it's just hours or days later, when I'm processing why the hell I still feel so bad after talking to her, that I realize that something she said was pushing my buttons.

And as far as the arguments in my head? I WIN all of those (why do you think I have them, I gotta get the last word in with her sometime!).

[fbhjr]

Sorry it is this way for you.
I've had similar experiences myself. That's why I cut off my mother. Too painful to remain in contact.
Hope it is better than that for you.