Comments | bouldergrrl: I need a map for my life

bouldergrrl

I need a map for my life

May 28, 2009 13:10

I'm in a phase of life right now where I am feeling utterly and completely lost. I can see the general direction I want to be moving in but I can't seem to find a comfort zone. Let me explain by backing up and talking about our trip to Colorado, which is what triggered this new agenda.

We had a great time. Our time there felt very short as it takes ( Read more... )

life, work, colorado, family, ny, moving

Comments 7

starpush May 28 2009, 19:13:24 UTC

Life is extremely short and where you live and how you feel about where you live can play such a huge role in one's happiness.

A year ago I was informed that we more or less "had" to move from a city we love to pieces. Changing workplaces and changing zip codes is one thing... losing that feeling of "home" is another.

I think its awesome that you want to be closer to your family. I've made similar decisions. But, in the past year, we strongly considered a 2000 mile move because we got a sense that there might be a very cool chance to create a new home in a new place. At the end of the day, you owe it to yourself to be where you'll be and feel at your best.

Thank you for this entry and for sharing your concerns so openly. :)

bouldergrrl May 28 2009, 19:25:35 UTC

No, Thank you! I know that you and your family are going through a big move as well and I was actually hoping to get some input from you. Moving is a big change. It is very stressful. My problem is that my sense of "Home" has always been Upstate NY where I grew up, where my family and my husband's family all still live. However, we both sort of out grew that area in terms of what we want to experience on a daily basis. But I did feel like I lost that sense of "home" when we lived in CO. But CO is absolutely more of a "home" to us than Long Island is. The one thing we know for sure is that this is not the right place. That's an easy one that we both agree on. I really appreciate how you said that you considered the move because of the chance it would give you to create a new home in a new place. I think that's the part that I'm afraid to do, but it's been done already (in that we already built a wonderful new family in CO). Seriously, thank you again for your response. I needed to hear that I'm not heading toward crazy!

itsjustsomegirl May 29 2009, 21:03:00 UTC

I think you all definitely need to be in a place where YOU all feel comfortable, not where your family wants you. I know it's hard... I hate Oklahoma, but I miss my family a lot especially being so far away out here. I also never thought I'd feel like this, but I really miss Jon's family too. I mean, there are some family members out here, but I seriously miss his mom and dad in Boulder. And Boulder in general... I have some pretty strong feelings of missing it at times. I love it out here, the weather is great generally & there are other awesome things, but it doesn't feel like HOME yet like Boulder did. We'll be out here at least 2 years for Jon's schooling, but then we'll just have to see. We may end up back in Boulder too, depending on how things go. Anyway... I think you should just do what you feel is right. It's hard :( I know.. And knowing what's right is hard too. I know it'll come to you sometime though.

I liked reading this, and would love to read more if you ever want to post more!

bouldergrrl June 2 2009, 18:53:07 UTC

Thank you Carrie! It is really helpful to get your point of view too. For many reasons. Seeing as though you have lived in Boulder and you know what a great place it is to live in, your input is very valuable. Even moreso might be the fact that you are also not originally from there and your family is not there, so I know you can totally relate to what I'm feeling ( ... )

itsjustsomegirl June 3 2009, 01:53:08 UTC

I'm glad I could be of help :). Yeah, things are really complicated, and I really hate to be THIS far away and start a family without my family being around (and we're still a few years off from this anyway, but still it's something I think about) so I understand that. I guess what's nice about my mom is that she says she'll always travel where I am no matter what, and it's nice knowing that. I suppose it is a comfort to know she's only a plane ride away (well 2 now, but whatever ;) even if it's not like she's down the street. Maybe if you all did decide to move back to Boulder you could make a pact that you'll go back to Rochester at least 2x a year no matter what (unless of course there are really huge things preventing you from going) and you could set aside a fund for that? We keep some in savings that I can use to fly home if needed, which is nice knowing that that's there. Same for Jon!

*hugs* I hope it all works out for the best. Rather, I know it will!

bouldergrrl June 3 2009, 16:16:44 UTC

I really can't thank you enough for all that you have suggessted here! I think that idea of putting money aside and ensuring at least two trips home to Rochester each year is a great idea (assuming that we'll eventually be in a place to be able to save $ at some point!) but that is really a great idea. Though I just get stuck on these visions of regular Sunday dinners with my family and his family. Sigh... I think that will never happen so we might as well be somewhere that we love (Boulder). Thank you so much again. It really helps so much to get other outside perspectives on things. xoxo

itsjustsomegirl June 3 2009, 18:23:11 UTC

It's nice, too, when you guys can get back there that both your families are there, right? Jon and I have families in two places which makes it harder. It'd be nice to see them all at once! It's hard to get everyone together for dinners, even if you all are all in the same place. Unfortunately :(

So yeah, good :) I'm glad I could help! Good luck!