So, who's going to write this fic for me eh?

[bottle_of_smoke]

The ST kinkmemes are quite interesting for me because it sort of puts into perspective my what my own kinks and non-kinks are (at least in fic; real life is different), and how they differ and align with other people's.

Comments

[ethrosdemon]

Idk M/s...oh, master sub. Ok

I am pretty much in line with your views, actually. Not so much with vomiting from blowjobs, but the rest of the physicality of sex and descriptions of bodies. ALSO the whole intimate gestures between partners. It's hot, simple as that, it just is.

About cars: I think this is a very American thing. The car culture sort of can't be overstated. Especially for people who live in California. It's sort of ridiculous, tbh.

I do like tattoos.

What is the fic you want, though?

[bottle_of_smoke]

Not vomiting, no, just gagging. Vomit pushes it too far even for me.

Haha you do the intimate thing so well. The way your Bones and Jim are constantly up in each others faces and invading personal space makes me squirm from happy, seriously.

I'm all for having-sex-in-car, it's just the actual sexualisation of the vehicle that throws me. I don't get it? Then again, I don't even drive and there's nothing less sexy than public transport. Maybe that's where I fail. Same goes for tattoos: I can appreciate them aesthetically, but I'm not going to find someone sexier because of them. (I might, on the other hand, find someone considerably less sexy because of a tattoo. I take it you've seen dragoncock?)

The sort of fic I like has a certain amount of the above in it, and always always the intimacy, and friendship. Also - and I can't believe I've missed this - humour! I like silly in my sex! Laughing at inappropriate moments and stupid noises and dickslapping! Hilarious!

[apiphile]

Leather and rubber do nothing but make me think of chafing and sweaty unpleasantness.

Concur. Although it seems you're disinterested in a few things that desperately smack into my buttons. "Contrived", I hate, which is why the BDSM I write involves cable ties and t-shirt hobbles and so on. And obvs, tattooooooos. Have you seen the kink/trope masterlist?

Initiative and spontaneity.

YES.

Biting, then biting hard enough to bleed.

WELL DUH.

Frottage and choking and face-fucking and public sex.

UNF.

I like reading awkward sex, and bad sex, and sex that makes your back hurt. I like people getting accidently kneed in the knackers or knocked out of bed. I want people who retch during blowjobs, who shudder at the texture of precome, who swallow not because it's sexy but because holding semen in your mouth long enough to spit is just too gross.

THS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS.

Currently my favourite fic is still the one where Bert throws up after rimming.

[bottle_of_smoke]

See, the cables and ties and whatnot TOTALLY DOES IT FOR ME. I love restraint, I just don't want them to have planned it in advance or have all the equipment under their bed. Think on your feet! Surprise yourself with how far you're willing to go! Now that I love.

[apiphile]

In that case I am completely with you. Despite one of the characters in the fandom I write for being pretty much canonically heavily into sex toys and so on, we've managed to avoid relying on them at all. Most recent sex toy? A pillowcase.

Contrivance bugs the shit out of me. Along with negotiations, declarations of love, and people who are self-sacrificingly noble without any ulterior motive or mental problem to justify it...

[bottle_of_smoke]

I have just done a quick ETA just to make sure everyone knows I'm down with the restraint, haha.

...I must know about this pillowcase.

Contrivance bugs the shit out of me. Along with negotiations, declarations of love, and people who are self-sacrificingly noble without any ulterior motive or mental problem to justify it...

I'm not feeling articulate so I'll leave you with this: dude, word.

[silveronthetree]

via friends of friends
This list is AMAZING (and hot in itself). I agree with nearly everything. The messy and the dirty and imperfect is what makes things hot. You don't get enough of these kind of details in fic. I find it incomprehensible when people say that they don't want reality in their porn. I was worried about writing Kirk having a pube dangling from his lip after oral sex but I'm glad my beta made me keep it in.

the ascending staircase of the spinal column, the pelvis and the hips, the sudden projection of the ulnar styloid process, the lovely hard lines of the clavicles and the scapulas.

Loved this description. After reading this I have discovered a huge bone kink that I didn't realise I had. I mean my job involves bones so I knew I found them interesting but I hadn't really thought of it in terms of kinks.

[apiphile]

I was worried about writing Kirk having a pube dangling from his lip after oral sex but I'm glad my beta made me keep it in.

I'm not even in your fandom and can I just say THAT'S FUCKING AMAZING and shit like that needs to be in more fic.

[silveronthetree]

;D Thanks! I really wish there was more of that shit as well in every fandom.
(I thought I recognised your name - you're also friends with innerbrat!)

[apiphile]

LJ is the size of a pea, I had the most alarming session of "you two completely unrelated friends also have another friend in common who I don't know" last week. Why in the hell I don't just give up and assume I'm one remove from the entire universe...

HELLO! You wrote pube-on-lip. That's awesome. I will stop mainlining caffeine now.

[sangueuk]

nothing less sexy than public transport.

Really? I have been trying to contrive a fic with Bones and Jim getting it on in a train but it'll probably never come to pass...

Loved reading about your kinks - mine seem rather unsophisticated after this and I'm still trying to work out what they are so I may come back and post another time. Cowboy hats seems to be about it. Oh two hot men getting it on, talking dirty, more specifically Bones talking dirty. Kills me. And I love the moment of penetration BIG TIME. Such a freaking convent school girl *grins*. But nothing, nothing beats two hot men having angry/make-up/tender sex - any or all of it.

Motorbikes are sexy cos you sit astride them and they vibrate and they're all James Deany. But it depends who's astride. Jim? *chokes*

Also, check out my icon. The car isn't sexy but may now thinks it is cos it has been touched by a rather lovely bottom.

Had to edit twice cos brain cells have melted and I keep missing out teeny words. Silly.

[bottle_of_smoke]

Yes, but these days if they had sex on a train they'd probably catch piggy flu off the toilet seat or something ;) I know people like their hurt/comfort but hawking phlegm into a tissue has just never done it for me!

My kinks are totally unsophisticated, don't worry. I'm all up for just plain old rogering in my fics, just like anyone. Angry sex = definitely. Dirty talk when it's done well (though it often isn't, and then it hits my embarrassment squick.)

I still don't get the motorbike thing! I think I see it as the male equivalent of the "girls washing a car" thing: I find it contrived, and like someone is telling me YOU SHALL FIND THIS SEXY, which automatically makes it unsexy to me. (I have the exact same problem with certain actors and actresses, actually. If the media works itself into a froth about how OMG SEXY they are I will invariably find them hideous. Don't tell me what to like! I think I run on being contrary.)

I totally get the idea of car envy. See also: creme egg envy. Nnngh.

[sangueuk]

This made me chuckle, Yes, but these days if they had sex on a train they'd probably catch piggy flu off the toilet seat or something ;) I know people like their hurt/comfort but hawking phlegm into a tissue has just never done it for me!

Kind of related to this, a dear, very dear, long standing lj friend offered to beta for me when I announced I was all with writing the slash again (after an absence of 4 years or so) and while I know she would have been utterly brilliant, I declined because I wasn't comfortable with someone I 'knew' so well reading my kinks.

I'm kind of regretting it now cos I think a beta/author relationship is quite special and difficult to build...but...

Also my way of saying I liked sharing.

Btw, can I nick the icon? I'm writing a Fight Club thingy for some other fanfic challenge and need the bloodied Kirk's for when I post.

[bottle_of_smoke]

See, I can sympathise I absolutely will not discuss my kinks with real life people I know. I'm incredibly shy in real life. The internet, on the other hand... well, I've been reading slash since I was 12 so offering my kinks is like offering my hair or eye colour. But I would DIE if a real life person read this post.

You can so nick the icon :) Credit's nice but not necessary. There is something a bit Fight Club about it, come to mention it, even with the Lady Gaga lyrics.

[weavingthewind]

So, very human sex (or alien, depending on what you're reading at the time.)Reactions and interactions can be absolutely gorgeous.

[bottle_of_smoke]

Yes, that's it exactly. Not pornography/fantasy sex: I like real human beings involved.