I'd move out with you...but like wise I don't have a job that would be able to support myself with it, and I'm still dealing with Centrelink to get other moneys...
Oh, how awesome would it be, though! *daydreams* I'd love to live with a friend, but I'd be really worried they'd come to resent me because I wouldn't be pulling my weight. It might not be so bad if I was at least domesticated and could cook and that, but I can't even keep house for this hypothetical flat-mate. Prize catch, I am not. >_<
I hope Centrelink comes around and provides the money! *fingers crossed*
I think you and your mother are right. You need out of that house and away from him as he is never going to change and the verbal abuse is something you dont deserve. At the same time you are surely not in the position to do it right now so you've got to get yourself in that position. Stand up, dust off, get on the ball. It wont be easy, it could be bloody awful hard, but the hard work, setbacks, and victories will be worth it for the verbal abuse to end. Is there someone you can talk to, work with....a job counselor, housing people, other resources?
Perhaps you can ask your close friends that you can confide in or your cousins for help. I think its time to really think about this. I wish you didnt have to, I wish your dad wasnt a douchebag, but he really is. no one deserves to be treated like he treats you. I wish I had some grand advice but I dont. I care though, and I dont want you living in a place where you never know when someone is going to explode on you for nothing.
Mother's new word is 'pro-active'. Which is all good and well, but going to driving lessons and booking an optometrist appointment isn't going to help with my living situation. And while I hear what you're saying, and you're right, you're totally right, nothing's going to change until I get a job. Which might be possible later this year, but not while I'm doing the the Greencorps thing and not with uni starting in a month. Once I've finished that, maybe I can find something better-paying and earn some money, but that's still months away. *sighs* And it's not guaranteed, the economy's crap, there are lots of people out of work, and who are more qualified and experienced than I am
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Pro-active is a good word, even if you cant change your father, you can change yourself. As I said, it could be a long journey, and a hard one, but believe it is one worth walking. In the end, all you have in this life is you. Its great to have friends, loved ones, co-workers, all that, but if you cant live with you then its nothing. Just start walking, you'll find your way. You're a smart girl, resourceful, all of that stuff is inside you Annie, I wouldnt lie to you about that. Hell, someone who puts as much thought and concentration into LJ posts as you do has all of it inside of them. you're going to do great things in life, you just have to start walking. I truly, truly believe that
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Moving out sounds like it'd do you a lot of good. Maybe ask your friends to ask around for anyone they know who is looking to move out? Might be something around. Or a share house type thing? Sometimes they do that kind of thing through uni (and not always just for students)...
I agree, it just seems rather unlikely atm. I don't have a lot of RL friends, so there's nobody I can rely on to move in with, and I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with a stranger, especially as it'd be my first time on my own. But yeah, the situation at home's been miserable for years, so I guess I gotta kick myself out of the nest and hope to land on my feet. (late hou r= mixing my metaphors, nvm meeee)
Yeah I know that feeling all too well. It's a big step and there's a lot more involved in it than one might first think; finding a place is hard enough without having to find people to move in with as well and be able to afford it, etc, etc. Well worth it when you are able to move out though. I'm sooo glad I don't live with my mum/her fiance/brother any longer.
*hugs* If you need to talk/rant/anything let me know. I'm usually around somewhere.
*squish* I'm glad you were able to get out. I have hope I will manage it as well sometime- perhaps next year? I'll have graduated with an arts degree (useless, but still something) and finished doing the Greencorps program and possibly another traineeship. At least I'll have some work experience!
Thanks, bb, I appreciate the offer. How did I cope before my f-list, IDEK.
PS. Let me know how you're doing with the Jim Butcher sometime? No pressure or anything, and if you hate it, don't be afraid to say so, I'm not gonna bite. :P Just curious...
It is that bad and you shouldn't be used to it. You shouldn't have to be used to it. Yeah, I would move out as soon as possible (when you find the resources; don't just go gallivanting off into the night and have to come back and lick your wounds later...). I don't have any real advice on how to deal with him when you're at home; I have a very similar situation going on with my dad, but the difference is I tell him to go f-bomb himself and I do the petulant thing by slamming doors and expressing my outrage. Which usually causes my mom to cry, so that's a super winner right there.
Anyway, on a lighter note: SEXY SNAPPPPPPPPPPPPPE! What a hot piece of man candy! And I would totally buy the cutout if, yeah, I wanted to spend $50 and/or look like a complete stalker. Which I am.
Aaaand I got told that again yesterday by my mother. Lovely. That really messes with my head, y'know, to the point where I am just so utterly grateful to you for this comment beause my head gets warped and I start thinking that I should be used to it and just get over it, no big. I get that she's not going to badmouth him because she loves him and their marriage is rock-solid and it's like, bad etiquette to run down one's spouse, but it bugs me the way people just brush it off, like it's a quirk or something.
don't just go gallivanting off into the night and have to come back and lick your wounds later...LOOOL, this, totally! I would be so humiliated if I had to crawl back with my tail between my legs and beg for mercy
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I'm glad I could help somewhat, even if it's just a comment on LJ. And I have to admire your mom the way she doesn't badmouth her husband and your father in front of his child, but at the same time, things aren't sunshine and rainbows at home. She doesn't have to stick her head in the sand; she's not an ostrich. She can face the reality of the situation and talk to you like the adult you clearly are without calling him a dick and moving on. She's approaching all this the wrong way
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You have totally pegged my mother. She and Ma both go into this ostrich-in-the-sand denial mode. Which is great for them, but really messes with my head, 'coz then they're basically saying I'm overreacting and my feelings aren't valid and that just makes it worse. And now she has kind of realized it really is that bad and her reaction is 'well, you better start planning to move out'. Which...fair enough, I'm 22, can't live with them forever, but....yeah. Supportive, it is not. *hugs flist
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Aw, sorry to here about your difficult relationship with your father, I hope things work out for you, either your house becomes an easier place for you to live or you manage to find somewhere else to live. *BIGHUG!*
>_< It's nothing new, it's just that we'll have a period of calm and I'll think we've gotten over it and then he'll explode for no reason. That's actually the worst part, that you can't predict when he'll erupt into a rage- he can be cheerful and smiling and joking around one moment, and then verbally ripping you apart the next. Every convesation is like a minefield, just hoping you don't trigger anything. *sighs*
I really want to be able to move out sometime, but I don't think it's in the cards atm. >_<
Hee, yay for Beetlejuice! I recently rewatched the movie, it's hilarious as ever! I have so much love for Lydia Deetz, d'aww, Winona Ryder was so cool back then!
I really appreciate that, the effectiveness of a good vent with a sympathetic listener is vastly underestimated. *squish*
It doesn't get old! I wish they'd done a sequel, apparently it was in the cards but then it took too long and people got older and then it wasn't possible. *pouts* I hear they made a cartoon series set after the movie or something? But meh. Not the same. >_<
I love the 'daylight come and me wanna go home' dinner scene, SO LOLARIOUS. :D
PS. Your icon makes me giggle! Is there an in-joke or something?
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I hope Centrelink comes around and provides the money! *fingers crossed*
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Perhaps you can ask your close friends that you can confide in or your cousins for help. I think its time to really think about this. I wish you didnt have to, I wish your dad wasnt a douchebag, but he really is. no one deserves to be treated like he treats you. I wish I had some grand advice but I dont. I care though, and I dont want you living in a place where you never know when someone is going to explode on you for nothing.
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*hugs*
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Thanks for the advice, hon. *squish*
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*hugs* If you need to talk/rant/anything let me know. I'm usually around somewhere.
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Thanks, bb, I appreciate the offer. How did I cope before my f-list, IDEK.
PS. Let me know how you're doing with the Jim Butcher sometime? No pressure or anything, and if you hate it, don't be afraid to say so, I'm not gonna bite. :P Just curious...
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Anyway, on a lighter note: SEXY SNAPPPPPPPPPPPPPE! What a hot piece of man candy! And I would totally buy the cutout if, yeah, I wanted to spend $50 and/or look like a complete stalker. Which I am.
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don't just go gallivanting off into the night and have to come back and lick your wounds later...LOOOL, this, totally! I would be so humiliated if I had to crawl back with my tail between my legs and beg for mercy ( ... )
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Oh and I love Beetlejuice :D
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I really want to be able to move out sometime, but I don't think it's in the cards atm. >_<
Hee, yay for Beetlejuice! I recently rewatched the movie, it's hilarious as ever! I have so much love for Lydia Deetz, d'aww, Winona Ryder was so cool back then!
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I have it on DVD and put it on occasionally and i still love it!lol.
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It doesn't get old! I wish they'd done a sequel, apparently it was in the cards but then it took too long and people got older and then it wasn't possible. *pouts* I hear they made a cartoon series set after the movie or something? But meh. Not the same. >_<
I love the 'daylight come and me wanna go home' dinner scene, SO LOLARIOUS. :D
PS. Your icon makes me giggle! Is there an in-joke or something?
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