'...out there a lonely girl could drown, in here, we're frozen...'
I apologize for whingeing about family two entries in a row. I don't want to be the person that's always complaining and you get sick of dealing with her drama, but I also feel the need to vent. So I'mma do that, and rest assured, I will understand if you don't feel like reading this, because hell, I'm sick of it, and I'm the one who's posting about it!
Anyway, my parents recently went on a trip to Tasmania for ten days. (hence me not being at home and having no internet access) I had high hopes that this romantic trip down memory lane (they met in Tasmania, having won scholarships to the same university) and exclusive one-on-one time with his wife would make my father loosen up and be easier to deal with upon his return. At first, it seemed like he was miraculously cheerful and light-hearted. We had a pretty good convo at Ma's when they came to pick me up, there was a lot of chatting and laughter and reminiscing and it was good.
But of course, it couldn't last forever. In fact, it couldn't last ONE DAY. I thought, perhaps a week? At least a few days of peace and harmony? But no, that night, Muke comes looking for his battery charger, which I had borrowed.
'It's all right,' he says, reason personified, 'We can recharge both our batteries at the same time.'
'Oh, no, that's fine, I'll do mine another time.'
'No, really, just give yours to me, I can put them on with mine.'
'Actually, it's okay, I'll do them another day.'
'STOP AVOIDING THE QUESTION, JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING BATTERIES.' (and the Jekyll-to-Hyde transformation is complete, in a mere second)
'I can't FIND THEM, all right?! Jeez!'
'WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY THAT INSTEAD OF MAKING A DICKHEAD OF YOURSELF? WELL, WHEN YOU FIND THEM, GIVE THEM TO ME AND DON'T USE MY RECHARGER ANYMORE. '
Omfg. Like he's not the one acting like a prize douchebag. Seriously, why was it such a huge deal? Why keep pushing the issue? And why yell at me over it and then ban me using the stupid thing?!
So then I go and close my door and lock it- note, I CLOSE my door, not even slam!
'YOU WATCH IT, YOUNG LADY, I WILL ONLY TOLERATE SO MUCH.'
*kickstabthrottle*
Mother valiantly attempts to defend me, saying it wasn't appropriate for him to use such language.
'IT'S JUST A WORD, YOU HEAR IT EVERY DAY.'
(somehow, I doubt he'd be singing that tune if I swore at him. And this is the guy who punished me for using the word 'jerk' when I was younger. JERK, I ask you. And if the shoe fits...)
'YOU ALWAYS STAND UP FOR HER, BUT SHE WAS WASTING MY TIME, WHY DIDN'T SHE JUST CONFESS INSTEAD OF DRAGGING IT OUT?'
Gee, because you'd snap and go off your nut anyway and I was trying to avoid that?
Anyway, then he goes into his usual mantra about how I'm so useless and I never do anything constructive and I'm never going to achieve anything worthwhile in my life and all I do is weed, blah blah blah. Fucking asshole.
I read over this post and I kind of think...it's not that bad. Yeah, sure, he's saying some really nasty things and the swearing and yelling is intimidating and upsetting, but it really shouldn't be as big a deal and it shouldn't affect me the way it does. But I can't help it. This is the kind of thing I have to take from him, without any fuss, without saying a word in my defense (or else he'll keep going and wind up banning things and taking things away from me), and it's not a one-off, it's a few times a month. Sometimes we'll go a while without any bust-ups, but then he snaps and then it's a constant barrage of hurtful criticism and personal insults and it just frustrates me so much, the way he makes me feel so worthless.
And then Ma goes, 'Oh, but if it happens every week, then you should be used to it.' O.o I love you, grandmother mine, but that's exactly the kind of not-helpful, downright offensive comment I really DON'T need from you.
Anyway, mother told me I really need to be thinking about moving out. Finding my own place. Fending for myself. All that jazz. 'I'm not kicking you out,' she clarifies, 'But it's something you should be working towards.'
*groans* I have no idea how to even go about this. My brain hurts too much to even think of all the things I would have to deal with. I really don't want to even think about it, so just- shelve that for now. I have no real options at the moment, living on my own is just not going to happen, not with my pathetic 'job', or any of a number of other factors which make me completely incapable of managing it. If I could move in with someone, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I don't know anyone.
Katherine's offered, but well, she's flightly and unreliable and she always offers things that she doesn't follow through with. And her offer was when she was going to move in with her boyfriend, and now apparently he's gotten a house and he's told her she can't live with him, so it's a moot point. I'd love to live with Netty, but if/when she moves out, it's going to be with her boyfriend and I don't know that they'd want a third wheel.
Anyway. Not thinking about it.
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For something shiny and happy-making...on hh_clubs, I submitted a picture of Snape for the Wizarding Wear club's Hogwarts Next Top Model. When I saw the results, I initially didn't see my name and was sad...but then realized as I read further that I tied for second runner up, yay! It's only the second time I've placed in anything! (and both times I came third, lol, oh well)
These were the other three:
And my submission:
*swoons* ^_^
Also, I was browsing this sci-fi store's HP section and came acoss this:
Life Size Professor Snape cardboard cutout. This life sized stand up stands 6' 2" tall. Stand Ups are life size cut-outs designed to decorate any room or party. Each stand up can be mounted to a wall or door, or can stand by itself.
OMG, I WANT. *pets* Plus, I love the sales pitch- oh, yeah, who wouldn't want to prop him up at their party?! LOL. But still. *sighs wistfully* For $50, I can't quite justify the purchase, but if they have a sale sometime... *iz hopeful*
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Survivor: Tocantins- episode 14. (look, woodchoc_magnum, I finally did it!)
Lol @ the intro. Brazil’s Tocantins... A hot and merciless terrain...
WITH GREEN SKIES. O.o Um, are we not on Earth anymore? ‘coz that’s totally cool. Survivor: Outer Space!
With the crystal waters providing a source of life and danger...
Promises, promises! When did our Survivors ever face down a rogue croc? (apart from that one time Coach saw suspicious splashing from the river and took off running like the gutless coward he is- wait, that’s not right. *confuzzled* How could this BRAVE and NOBLE WARRIOR leave his comrade to be eaten, IDEK) Countless opportunities for bloodshed and mayhem as they frolicked in the river, but no! Not even one teensy nibble was to be had!
And ha, I don’t recall seeing a leopard during this season...just as well, since I’m pretty sure none of them could outrun that. Though it does give me a fun idea for a final challenge! ‘As the final two, you get a head start of ten seconds before I release this leopard- which we have starved for a couple days for good measure- to hunt you down. Winner is the last one standing! Now remember, no holds barred, outwit, outlast, y’know, just survive, so everything goes, tripping, gouging, etc...’
Gosh, the preview makes Erinn look pretty damn awesome! Seriously, it’s like she single-handedly wiped out her former tribe all on her own, lol. Based on that, she totally should have won. :P
Have we ever returned to a camp that does not have a round shiny moon glowing above it. But this one is more interesting than all the other shots I’ve seen because of that fascinating cloud formation!
Lookit! How portentous! Now, one of my lesser known talents is a minor ability to foresee the future, so let me take a crack at this. I think...it resembles a beast of some nature swallowing the moon. Ooh, ominous! I foresee someone’s seemingly idyllic situation taking a turn for the worse in an unexpected blow, their bright light on the verge of being snuffed out by a shadowy force... DUN DUN DUN.
ETA. Earlier I had written, ‘I don’t know what the editors would do if they didn’t have a moon to pan over, honestly.’ Now, I can reveal the answer: insert old footage, apparently. ‘coz these two moons?
Do not look like they came from the same time period at all. I CALL FAKE. The first pic is of a gibbous moon, the latter is clearly a full moon. O.o
Once again, let me reiterate how ill-suited I would be for this show and how I am never going on it because HOLY CRAP, MONSTROUS SPIDERS, AAAGH. I would diiiieeeee.
They don’t even have the decency to stay out in the forest, they’re actually crawling over bottles and chairs, ugh! *twitches violently*
Poor Stephen. I’m already thinking he seems a bit on the fringe. It’s nothing obvious, but I wanna squish him because I get awkward and embarrassing little moments like that- he’s like, ‘One in four shot at a million,’ Taj goes, ‘Say it louder’, and just as he’s beginning to repeat himself, JT interrupts him. DAMN IT, PEOPLE, HAVE SOME RESPECT. And then JT has the nerve to leave Taj hanging while she’s waiting to high five him and Stephen takes pity on her and gives her a hand but she doesn’t even acknowledge him and waits for JT to pay attention. Hmph.
I’m really feeling a lot of JT hate right now. First, how he was forced to vote Erinn, ‘coz ‘Coach made me promise him’, like, omg, must protect the integrity of the game, nobody’s ever broken a promise made on Survivor (certainly not Russell, who broke promises to heaps of people every single day!) and then being coy over how he’s worried about jury votes. You sucked up to Coach and wouldn’t vote for him ‘coz you wanted to keep him happy, obviously you should’ve done the same with every other player in the game!
‘JT comes off like the loyal ally whereas I’m the guy who backstabbed Coach...I’m going to come off as a villain...obviously I’m very loyal to JT but I’m also loyal to myself and my own odds of winning a million dollars.’ Oh, mah bb is totally a Slytherin! *squish* Also, WHY THE HELL DID HE NOT GET INVITED BACK FOR HEROES VS VILLAINS?
‘I have to think about who do I want to be there at the end with, who can I beat?’ I think it’d be hard being friends and making it to the end with a friend. Because while it might be fun, having a buddy to hang out with, it’d suck so bad if they won instead of you. Like, you’re obligated to be happy for them at a time when you just want to cry and shout and stomp around and break things in disappointment, but you gotta mask that up and put on a good face and congratulate them...and it’d sting afterwards, when they roll up in a new car that they bought with the prize money, or move into a better apartment or something, ‘coz you’re all, ‘That could’ve been me, damn it.’ At least if it’s an enemy, you can hate them without having any issues.
Taj and Stephen half-heartedly beat around the bush over the idea of voting out JT if he loses immunity. (unlikely, since he’s done what Stephen earlier predicted, ‘Someone always goes on a run- let’s make that you.’) But his pheromones are too strong for them to resist and they subside back into the usual, ‘Nooo, JT is too awesome, I would rather he make it to the Final Two, even if it means he will beat me, because he’s just that fab.’ WTF, people. ILU, Stephen, but you sealed your fate by not seeking to get him voted out before now.
Lol @ TPTB rhyming ‘worry’ with ‘jury’. I award...a D for that effort. *shakes head*
I brought up Survivor at work the other day, and the team leader, Julie, and I were talking about how shocking it is the way Survivor goes to these countries, into pristine forests and such and just chops down a whole lotta trees for their challenges.
So un-environmentally friendly! I hope somebody at least goes and replants after the season has finished? I wouldn’t count on it, though...
Hey, the challenge was less freaky than I thought! The clue mentioned arachnophobia, so I was picturing some sort of Fear Factor challenge, where they have to be submerged in a pit of spiders or something, but no!
One thing that strikes me is how Jeff is rather mild here. I mean, in Nicaragua, he really was a mega-bitch, seriously, I was howling at the screen in disbelief at how shockingly rude he was, but here, he simply shrugs off a, ‘Taj and JT go up the same tarantula tube, even though there are many to choose from.’ Mild, inoffensive. I like this Jeff. I WANT THIS JEFF BACK.
That said, I’m going to harp on Taj a bit. Sweetie, you do get that this is a RACE? Whoever finishes first WINS? So why would you choose to climb up BEHIND someone when obviously that means that he would be IN FRONT of you and therefore reach his goal before you?! It’s not like Coach’s tactic in the maze challenge, that made sense ‘coz there were many wrong turns and JT seemed to have a knack for picking the right path, this is just dumb!
Holy crap, JT is a challenge hog! He already went zooming back through the tubes and reached his second bag before any of the others had returned to the start with their first! Freak!
*sniffles* I feel so bad for Erinn here. >_< She was the last one back but she is a puzzle genius and had it all assembled but for ONE FINAL PIECE and then JT went and snatched victory from under her nose. *wibbles* NO FAIR. (I dream of a world where JT got voted out at the final four...)
Oh, Taj. *eyeroll* Hasn’t anyone on Survivor learned that as soon as you make a bold declaration of how solid your alliance is and how there’s no way you’re getting voted out, you’re just BEGGING the universe to kick you out on your butt with a painful blindside? I mean...wtf! They ask her to go swimming and she refuses and confidently remarks that Erinn’s going to be vying for her place, but the guys won’t listen to her. HOW DO YOU KNOW? People make all sorts of unpredictable decisions, even when it’s seemingly not the smartest move! You can’t foresee whether people are gonna decide not to keep you around anymore!
(for instance, someone with whom you have a tight alliance might decide not to use the immunity idol to save you, even though you two were previously running the show together and calling the shots. >:[ WILL NEVER FORGIVE SASH. Also, this is where a lot of my Jeff hate stems from. He kept harping on and mocking Brenda and disparaging her game-playing activity because she didn’t scramble. ‘Oh, brought down by pride, you didn’t go to people who hated you and beg them to keep you in, despite them having it in for you and enjoying the chance to get to boot you off, but you should’ve gone and done a whole song-and-dance and humbled yourself before them anyway!’ STFU, JEFF. It turned out that she had actually spoken to Naonka about getting Sash out at some stage, and she went and told Sash, which was why he didn’t save her- funny how nobody ever considered how badly NAONKA came off in this and many other situations, ARGH- so actually, Jeff, you douche, she DID go and talk to someone who had reason to dislike her and was inclined to let her get voted out and she still tried to convince him to save her, so she DID EXACTLY WHAT YOU CRITICIZED HER FOR NOT DOING and then you STILL HAVE THE NERVE TO KEEP BLATHERING ON USELESSLY, FUUUUU)
First of all, ILU, ERINN. She didn’t snivel and beg, didn’t sacrifice her dignity, she just got them to sit down with her and listen as she pointed out how popular Taj was, how she was a very likeable person and had made a lot of friends and also played a great game. All very positive things, all true facts and also, damn good reasons to vote her out. SHE PLAYED THAT SO WELL, GO, ERINN. :D
Second, I hate JT. Just...he’s all, ‘It’s a game for a million dollars, doesn’t matter who’s Jalapao and who’s Timbira, I want to make sure I have a good shot at winning.’ Right? So obviously, he has no qualms taking out someone who’s very nice and who’s been a good friend and loyal ally, because it’s a practical thing. And yet, later on, he’ll attack Stephen for daring to CONSIDER voting him out! Something he didn’t actually do, couldn’t go through with- although he didn’t have the opportunity, who knows what would have happened otherwise- and he still gets on his high horse and condemns him! (afaik, I haven’t rewatched the final jury scene, I don’t know if I can when I get to that point, Stephen takes such a beating, it hurts my heart)
JT: We’re ~taking each other~ no matter what.
Stephen: No matter what.
SUBTEXT ALERT. :P
I take back what I said about Jeff. He’s such a douche to Stephen, I mean, I don’t remember him harping on and demanding people tell him who they’re going to vote for upfront! I mean, asking leading questions that give them away, sure, but, ‘You can only vote for Erinn or Taj, so which is it?’ FUUUU. And making fun of Stephen, ‘It’s like you’ve only just shown up and don’t know the way the game is played...’ :O HDU! Excuse you, asshat, Stephen’s the one who’s been masterminding this game forever, okay, just STFU.
Yeah, I’m feeling a lot of rage for Jeff. This isn’t good! The main reason I got hooked on Survivor in the first place was Jeff and his gorgeous dimples! (I may or may not have had a dream the other day in which we were snuggling, because DAMN, that man is fine, but his personality leaves a bit to be desired. Save your vitriol and snark for folks deserving of it like Coach and Naonka, jeez!)
So cute how she’s like, ‘I’m gonna give myself a 33% chance of sticking around,’ and Stephen smiles! Hee! Her math talk is endearing to him!
Aaaand as soon as they get back to camp, the boys get irritated by Erinn. *sighs* I know I’d enjoy being on a tribe with her, it’s sad that people don’t appreciate her! Yeah, okay, she was chattering too much, but it just rubs me the wrong way when guys say that kind of thing, y’know?
First, I think it’s so cool that Erinn and Stephen are teaming up! (sorry, woodchoc_magnum, I know you adore J-Steve, but...I can’t help it!)
Second, he’s so adorb the way he goes, ‘We, too, must fight like hell.’ IDK why, it’s just kind of old-fashioned in a way, I just like the way he articulates himself. ^_^
Oh, Stephen. Babe, stop beating yourself up over it- THIS IS A COMPETITION. I love him, I do, but the way he’s angsting over ‘take my bestest buddy who is uber-popular and whom everyone adores, or the girl both tribes found irritating and against whom I can definitely win..’ NOT A TOUGH CHOICE.
I adore you, Felicity, but I would so not take you to the final two. Out of the both of us, you’re way more charismatic and humorous and fun to be around, you’d have everyone laughing and eating out of the palm of your hand, so you’re just too much of a threat to me! I would totally buy you something nice with my million, though. :P (it is my dream to someday fly to America and go to the big conventions there, with all my fave actors, so if the two of us could go together, it’d be so awesome! *daydreams*)
That symbolic ritual burning of the previous Survivors is always hilarious. I know it’s not meant to, but it’s so like, ‘Haha, suckers, you weren’t good enough, nah-nana-nah-nahhh. Let us take this final opportunity to mock your eliminated asses!’
Also, the cliff they’re standing on? Looks none too stable. It’s tapering off into crumbly treacherous looking edge, and they’re not too far away...I’d be wary going out there, tbh! Imagine if there were a sudden rock-slide! JT and his pot belly might be the last straw for that sheaf of rock... :P
This final challenge is kinda sad, I think TPTB deliberately cooked it up to give Stephen a shot at winning. I mean, it didn’t involve racing around, ‘coz that, JT would have in the bag. This was still diabolical- it is Survivor, not a cakewalk, after all- but it gave him a more decent chance of winning...and he still didn’t get it. >_< Ohhh, for a final two with Stephen and Erinn. *sob*
‘There’s a lot of money at stake here and do we want to let sentiment get in the way of that money?’ Oh so Slytherin! Or it would be, if I hadn’t had to sit through Stephen being RELIEVED JT won because it LIFTED A WEIGHT OFF HIS SHOULDERS. Adlsgkjagosldgjsld *keyboardsmash* I CAN’T EVEN.
Have a few thinking!Stephen pics to counteract all the ranting. ^_^
Also, it’s amazing how much subtext one can see when one is inclined to: ‘My pitch was more based on our long-term commitments to each other, what this would mean to our future...friendship and relationship with each other, and just the promises we made to each other.’ WHY AM I SENSING WEDDING VOWS? :P
A toast to our partnership...in every meaning of the word...
Aaaand that’s as far as I go, because the rest of this ep makes me really really sad. Oh, well, at least I have the memory of Survivor: Nicaragua, where my pick actually won for a change. I didn’t fangirl him throughout the game, but he was the most likeable towards the end so I’m glad he won. ^_^
Btw, woodchoc_magnum, did they do the ‘fan favorite’ award this season? Like, Russell’s won a few thousand or something in his seasons because people thought he played a brilliant game, was there that award in this season? I don’t remember...
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