TMI!!

[chaeri]

i just remembered something from when i worked at B&N. i was a part-time worker, a morning shelver. i shelved every section of the store, including the history section next to the big comfy chairs. once a week a group of part-time teachers who all had pre-school age kids would all come in and talk VERY VERY loudly. sometimes it was just about the

Comments

[come_love_sleep]

Oh, yeah, at my store there's Cel Phone Guy. He goes around and around the store, shouting down his phone. I know about his back problems, his girlfriend, his wife, his stupid, overweight son, the problems and joys of running a construction company, and how many thousands of dollars his Compensationmobile set him back. You can hear him from fifty feet, easy, he's so loud.
All of us want to shoot him.

[liquidmirror]

Not quite the same, but similar.

Creepy staring guy comes up to me and says iun a very deadpan voice, "Where are your BDSM books?"

I stutter for a bit, because this guy is CREEPING me out. "Uh, in the sex section, which is over here. Yeah, that's where they'd be if we had any okaylemmeknowifyouneedanythingelseBYE!" ...and then I ran back to the saftely of the info desk. This was at about 7 or so that evening. At close, when we were doing the walk-through, I found him still standing where I had left him, leafing through one of the sex books VERY intently. He didn't buy it, of course, and very creepily thanked me for my help. It was just... scary.

[ems]

My number one TMI customer:

He must've been about 65, 70 and he brings over this book that is INCREDIBLY battered and damaged - I mean, the spine's bent in a million different places, the back cover's ripped and it basically looks like a library book. Anyway, we offer 10% discount on damaged books if a customers asks and we don't have another copy but this one was so bad I thought I'd break the rules and offer it. So without really looking at the book apart from noting the damage, I said "We can offer you a 10% discount on this one, sir, because it's quite damaged."

He says "Oh, don't worry love, it'll be much worse by the time I'm finished with it!"

I turned it over and it was "Masturbatory Fantasies of Women".

JUST EW.

I also have a great customer (again, about 70) who comes in and orders Silver Moon (ie, soft porn) titles - I think he's going for the whole collection. He's in a motorized wheelchair so I always come out from behind the counter to give him his reciept, etc, and he always, without fail, pats me on the ass.

[chaeri]

LOL lovely.

[_niandra]

I've had a TMI lady and a guy who wanted TMI.

TMI lady had a rash. That went alllll the way down the left side of her breast. And she showed it to me. Just to see if I knew what it was. She was convinced it was from the mould in her walls. AND she came in the next day when my mother (also manager of bookstore) was working, and assaulted some paramedics buying coffee, asking them if they thought it was a rash from black mould. I was so scarred.

And then there was the guy who leaned behind my till area, looks at my computer screen and goes "...y'got internet on that thing?", I responded in the affirmative. So THEN he asks "...y'watch a lot of porn while you're alone?"
He was there with his wife and kids!!!!! I just stopped talking, I was so freaked out. Seriously. The people in my town are freaks.

[xdragonladyx]

Last week I had some 80 yr old woman drop her britches to show me the giant patch of gauze taped to her hip where the doctors had installed some sort of "pacemaker" so she could walk again after a car accident. I learned not only the color of her underwear but that it was a 16 yr old girl that ran into her at a stop light, and well you get the idea.

All she wanted from me was a book full of pictures containing cozy cottages in the snow. I did point out that the TEXAS regional section wasn't going to have anything like that, and she might have better luck when it actually got closer to fall and winter.