The Breeder ver 2.5: The Very Final Countdown
CAUTION: THERE IS NO SEX IN THIS ONE. Which is kinda disappointing. I know, I pouted. -- Oh, and 70 pics. About 3MB download. ^_^
Still following the as-yet-not-so ugly progeny Salus by ZombieJill is reputed to produce. Effort one produced average and sometimes adorable kids, largely awkward teenagers (but not all) and then either average or lovely adults (except for poor Skeletor's Bride, Lila). NOT GOOD ENOUGH! NEED TO SEE FUGLY ACTION! IT'S ADVERTISED, WE WANT OUR MONEY'S WORTH!
Part one of The Breeder ver 2.0 involved our intrepid sperm bank out on the hunt for a prospective uterus. Uterus secured, we moved on to the guts of the experiment: MAKING DA BBS! 2.1 birthed three children, adopted one geriatric feline and we made a stunning revelation about reincarnation..! ITS RIVETING STUFF! And then there was the rollercoaster event that was 2.2 ;_; We got more babies, - both the human and kitten kind, - but we lost a beloved elderly cat. WE LOVE YOU TWEED! 2.3 was mostly filled with kids growing up, though we got ourselves some kittens and some LOLCat action... THEN Saul had babies of his own in 2.4 and you all thought I was done. JOKES ON YOU! XD
OKAY SO! Welcome to The Breeder: Artificial Insemmination Edition! Let's meet our Special Edition Uteruses, shall we?
Sandy Bruty. Oh yeah, I went THERE. And I'll go there AGAIN in a legacy coming to spam a journal near you. She's blonde, a Romance Sim, has very awesome features as far as genetic salad goes, and I believe green eyes. So, you know, quite nice in a recessive gene kind of way. Although I'm kinda hoping those lips of hers rule the world with an iron fist.
Oh, and she has a puppy. Its a girl, I forget her name. Tara? Skippy? Skipper? Esmerelda? I have no idea. So I'm gonna call her Fluffertins. *high fives lemon_lime35*
(PS: I didn't get Saul's son, Brannigan, to tap this a few times in order to get her to become a playable... Nope. Didn't. You can't make me admit otherwise).
HA! You thought I'd outed Kaylynn Langerak completely as a transexual, barren uterus. DIDN'T YOU?! Well, to quote a phrase I never understood when I as a kid: PSYCH!!
She cleans up quite awesomely when she's not in the porno maid outfit with the bad maxis hair, and is family so is 100% elated to has the bbs. :D
And the girl that hooked the three of them up with EssenceOfSaul™? PT 1337, courtesy of skittledboxes 's default alien replacement multi-pt hackery. :D Nice to actually see a pollinator get pollinated once in a while. ;)
And this is her dog, Stockholm. She's come to earth on a fact-finding mission, and she liked it so much she moved in. So I thought, you know, fitting dog's name is fitting. ^_~
Since she's close personal friends with the PT that knocked Saul up and gave us Astrid (ASTRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID ILUBB!!), she was able to procure vials of needful juices, and convince the other two chicks to get knocked up with her. Dude, I want those Jedi powers.
THE VIALS OF STICKY MISSION GOO!!
Oh, you think I went too far with that Zim reference? Feel lucky I didn't actually use the only decorative item I could find that even remotely resembled a turkey baster. XD
PT pops by her neighbour to check out how the insemmination is going, and if she needs a hand. Awwww, she's such a lovely pollinator.
She actually was part of the welcome wagon on both Sandy and Kaylynn. SO ATTENTIVE!
Necklace impaling her pregnant belly notwithstanding (NUUU THE CHILLENS), Sandy was INCREDIBLY excited to be pregnant. You sure you're a romance sim, honey?
Four babies are born! WOOOO!! GO GO ARTIFICUAL INSEMINATION POWAH! And yes, as predicted, they've all been working hard down there in the mines. Look at this photo four times, and pretend it was a baby each time and you'll get EXACTLY what I got. Coal mining infants, with their father's black hair and blue custom eyes. Woo, love THAT variety.
*shakes fist in Salus/Salusar/Saul's general direction*
Sally, toddler, seems to have a nice mix of mum and dad, no top lip, but a cute amount of nose... Almost a boring face really. How did that happen? XD She's got EYEBROWS though. Even her feathery fringe is powerless to deflect their IMPACT on us all.
This is Seamus. Placid is as placid does, and looks pretty damn manly even for a three year old. Look at that chin, it has places to go, people to see!
Simon crawls at GREAT SPEED. Probably because with those sideburns, he's gonna have little girls pulling his hair and pushing him down in the sandpit. He looks VERY INCREDIBLY FREAKEN SIMILAR to Sally at this point.
Little wide-nosed Sarah. Awwww. Nose of Mum, everything else of Dad it would seem. Though the top-lip bow has potential...
OH LAWDS, FEEL THE ADORABLE! *hugs me some Sally+Fluffertins*
Sally as a child, NO LONGER BORING. XD ENORMOUS schnoz, and incredibly good at shooting everyone with her finger when playing cobs and robbers. I kid you not. If this were a legacy I'd be all WHOA TEN BUCKS SHE ROLLS FAMILY WITH LTW FOR CAPTAIN HERO! But its not, so I won't... *whistles*
Seamus as a child, his chin... It takes NO prisoners. I'm pretty sure I can see that coming out like crazy in his teen years... LOL @ Simon behind him...
This is Simon, being shot by Sally's invisible bullets because he's a robber and deserves to be shot. Even though there are no guns in the Sims, and cops just turn up and get their arses served to them when burglar's come to steal goods from Sims houses.
Oh, sorry, did I go off-topic? ;)
Anyone else notice the SandyBruty™ nose coming through here in ALL the kids? See, not all her genes are recessive.
Awwww..! Sarah, now SHE looks a lot like Sally, suddenly. The nose, it is the bigs, the top lip, it is the gones.
THIS is that tiny adorable white puppy, Fluffertins. How this happened from that tiny little pup I will NEVER know. XD UNEXPECTED HUGE DOG IS UNEXPECTED!
TeenSally™, her eyebrows will momentarily crawl off her face and cause massive crop-damage, plummeting all of Simkind into a massive famine. Nose is evening out, and her face is much longer than expected... She's kind of plain, however. Not GORGEOUS *sparkle* but not at all fugly either.
Wow, I take it back, HAI TEENSEAMUS™ your chin hasn't consumed the world afterall. Actually... There's something about him that makes me go all OooOOoh Hai *fanfan*
Uh, Simon!? What happened? O_O;;; He hits teen years and his cheeks get all angular and pointy and he starts getting the skeletal look that plauged Lila and Autumn... The lack of top lip is DEFINITELY not doing anything for him.
Awww Sarah! Looking quite the sweetie there, honey bear. *snugglesnuggle* Teen years, they are kind to her.
ADULT TIMES!! Sally seems to have turned out to be what would happen if you got Saul's face, and stretched it out so that it becomes long vs his little pixie head. Not fugly. Not WHOA HOT MANG, but definitely not fugly.
WHOA. WHOA WHOA WHOA. No, wait, no I was right the first time. WHOA.
That chin. WTH HAPPENED, SEAMUS?!?! The rest of his face is 90% Saul/Salusar/Salus clone. Where the HELL did that chin come from!?!?! Im not sure whether to yell fug or not. He certainly looks MEAN. I wonder if with a mess of facial hair he'd look hot or not...
URK! Its like an unsanitary, square serving platter.
Oh. Simon. ;_; So unfortunate. Small head, atleast he has some top lip again, but OUCH his cheeks look painful. What you keeping in there, razorblades? >_<;;;
Sarah actually ends up looking almost like a 50/50 split between Sandy and saul. Longer face, with hints of both of them peeking right through. She's got Sandy's look about her without the EXTREME features.
So plain, questionable, FUG, sweet. Not a bad mix, really. And thats only 1/4, not BAD odds really...
ON TO KAYLYNN..!!
Okay, so, yes. If you have a 'normal' skin tone, you will be cursed to have your Uterus transformed by the magical contact with Saul's swimmers. Kaylynn is STOKED to have so many little uns rolling around the house. ALL. BOYS. I guess maybe his little boys had been cooled by all the un-warmed alien instruments by the time the juice Kaylynn was provided with was extracted?
They're aliens, since they already abduct people by force, surely their bedside manner isn't refined enough to warm tools up before contact/insertion?
Eldest of the quadruplets, Karl. He's got his crawl on. Also, his baby blue pianist costume on. Is this the 80s? Super cute little cheeks, very pointy chin, kind of see both Kaylynn and Salus/Salusar/Saul in here...
This is Korey. Hello Korey! Almost identical to Karl, although his cheeks are less puffy...
Hahhahaaa babyKurtis is broody. XD Also, uh, see the hands bathing him? Notice how they're the same colour as Kurtis? Yeah.... ^_^;;; Its Saul, come over to look in on his kids... XD I do believe thats ALL YOU WILL SEE OF ACTUALLY HIM APART FROM THE TEASER PHOTO. Hope you enjoyed his forearm/wrist/right-hand fingers XD
And finally, super cutie bear Kollin. I have a feeling this one's gonna grow up to be SaulClone™ My spider sense, it tingles. Ooooer.
Wow, as a child (with the creepy turkey neck) Karl is already looking kind of haggard. KAYLYNN! STOP LOUNGING AROUND BACK HERE AND FEED YOUR BOYS!!
LOL LOL LOL! Dragonsuit. XD Hello Korey, bless you for being so excited about transitioning into that outfit. XD
KURTIS!!! DUDE! HOW CUTE ARE YOU?!?! D'awwwwwwwwwwww Sweet little bow lips, the same mouth construction as your mum. D'awwwwww moar!
For some reason, I kind of wished that Kollin and Korey could switch names. It kind of suited them better... I'm still calling dibs on Kollin being SaulClone™
So its TeenTime down in Langerak Estate, Karl grows up, has no lips, but otherwise NONE TO SHABBY..!
Uh, Korey? Yellow is not your colour... Remember the plight of the yellow Wiggle. He's not too bad though. I wouldn't say I'd be jumping at the change to jump his bones. Well he's too young anyway at this point, PAEDOPHILLIAAAAAAAAH, but anyway he's not at all hideous, re-accuring no-lips notwithstanding.
Uh, Kurtis, what's going on with your nose? You seem to be growing a little bit of a roman-esque shape that wasn't there before... I didn't think male noses got huge until they were 80 or something? Apart from that, you're still looking fiiiiine. Though, how do these guys talk simmish with any real proper anounciation with no lips?
Hi Kollin! Nice skull choker you have here. I don't want to call gays, but um... My money's STILL on him becoming SaulClone. I feels it, in ma waters.
Oh wow. Okay. So it ended up being Karl thats the pretty much clone of Saul. Huh. Well I didn't predict THAT one at all well. Kaylynn I think provided a little bit of lip variation there, but that appears to be all...
INTERESTING BROW RIDGE, Korey... Apart from that though, CuuuUUUuUuuute! Also, I thought we had this chat about yellow not being your colour? Insisting on being contrary, are we?
WHAT. THE. HELL. HAPPENED. HERE..?!?!?!?!?! No seriously, someone explain this to me. Anyone?! Kurtis?! That is not a nose. That's a beak. He's got a cartilidge producing disorder and NO mistake. O_O;;;;;;;;
As it to make up for Kurtis, Kollin is almost the clone I was expecting, but his nose is so much cuter and tinier. You guys, maybe, you shoulda had a chat about this in the womb, shared out the nostrils a little more..? Huh? Yeah? Well, Good work on growing up super adorable anyway, Kollin... ^_^
Okay so Kaylynn + Salus/Salusar/Saul = one out of four fugs. This seems to be about the same odds as Sandyl. Huh. A 25% chance of scary isn't TOO bad, really is it?
TIME FOR SOME INVERSE POLLINATION TECHNOLOGEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
*gasps* PT 1337, you have managed to overcome Saul's custom skin prevalence and fought it with your own?!?! GIRL YOU SO FINE! NO COAL MINING FOR YOU?! So wait, the only way you escape it is by being an alien? Huh.
MORE CHILDREN WITHOUT COAL! OH YES! Although, Saul's eyes have fought the alien power and taken precedence over 1337's
Oh. Right. There it is. So one quarter of your Uterus is a coal mine? Or are you build like cats and have some kind of pea-pod system, and one of your pods is a tiny coal deposit?
BTW? The ONLY baby with the coal-mining skin just HAD to be a girl, didn't it? Even though she got an even split of boys and girls. Couldn't be on the gender that the skin is FULLY 10000000% awesome for, could it?
Oh, and HELLO VIOLET, I LOVE YOU! <3333333333
Aaaaah, its not all coal mining here at 1337's place :D
Baby Boy #1, Pierre! He brings the cute. Oh yes, he does. LOOK HE HAS LIPS! *high fives his little worried self*
WOOO! The only child of ALL the kids in this experiment to get all of his mum's genetics, I give you Paulson! GO GO YOU LITTLE BEAR-SUITED FIRE ENGINE!
Whoa. Uh. So. This is Paulette-Therese. She's. Uh. Yeah. You can see what she is...
GOD, true to my form in all of the parts of the breeding experiments thus far, my favourite is the last-born girl. Patricia-Taryn is ALL KINDS of adorable! HELLO LITTLE GIRL! <3333 I swear if I was doing a legacy with 1337 as founder, this little one would be stamped as heir from toddler-hood.
Okay, so double heirs. PIERRE AND STOCKHOLM = SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
You blow those bubbles, Pierre. It only makes you cuter. *implodes from exposure to too much cute*
LOL PAULSON! Do you have ANYTHING of your dad in there?! XD
Huh. Hi Paulette-Therese. How are you? Everything okay? You're all good? Yeah? /sweatdrop
FACK ME. HEIR HEIR HEIR HEIR HEIR! *hugs me some adorable Patricia-Taryn*
LAWD PIERRE! *snuggles* Huh, your dad's no-upper lip thing is taking over. You are so working it though. :D
Paulson, manages to pull off looking like a super cute boy-next-door, even with Hello Kitty staring into the back of his brains. THATS A FEAT OF AWESOME RIGHT THERE!
Is anyone else detecting a trend where the third child is the one that's unfortunately... Unfortunate? She's kind of growing into her looks. Kind of. Sorta. *is possibly just feeling bad for her since her siblings have stolen my heart*
HEIR! HEYZEUS!!!
God, she can even dance the smustle and be FIERCE when doing it. PATRICIA-TARYN, YOU RULE AT LIFE *lovelovelovelove*
HAHAHA! I was aging the kids up in PT 1337's bedroom, spread around her bed. She jsut lay on the bed, relaxing in her underwear, the whole time cracking the heck up like it was the most awesome joke ever. Please be the mother of all my alien abducted children, k PT 1337?
Why so emo Pierre? Is it cause I'm all over your sister for not-actually-going-to-happen heir? Or is it your blinding lack of top lip? Either way, YOU'RE ADORABLE. BUCK UP!
Im not sure, but I feel like he's managed to look EXACTLY like both his mother and father. I know that makes NO SENSE, but he does.
Well, Paulette-Therese certainly looks like the child of an alien. *tries to think of nice things to say*
FAR OUT WOMAN!! <3333333333333333333
Patricia-Taryn?! I wish I had SimPE so I could extract you and upload you for all the world to see, and so I could clone you and have 90283049 of you in all my neighbourhoods. *has so much love*
Strike rate: STILL STANDS AT ONE IN FOUR CHANCE OF FUG..!!
25% chance, enough to keep a warning label. y/n?
~~~~~~~~~~
And now by popular demand (and when I say popular, jtph_jo asked for it and what the bride wants, the bride gets!) I bring you all the children from the previous experiements as adults, one last time..!
Firstly, Salusar & Poppy's six offspring:
Lila! Skeletor's bride who was salvaged somewhat by makeup but still has some disturbing things going on around her nose and top lip.
VIOLET! My love, I want to export you for all the world to have you. SO CUTE!
Yeah, Jonas. I dunno what happened here... XD You're not fug, but you ain't the most attractive chocolate in the box either...
And contrary to what I originally believed, here's Reginald, NOT identical to Jonas afterall..! More attractive, less forcefully frog-broody.
HAI MARCUS! Whatchooding stealing Benjamin Long's jumper? Hes such a cutie *heartheart*
PENELOPE! aka PEN-PEN! YAAAAAAAAAAAY! I still want to turn her into a vampire. I think she'd make an awesome Countess of the Night. ♥
*wonders why some of these shots are so randomly dark*
MAYBE ITS THE FORTELLING OF HER FUTURE VAMPINESS! :D
....And now, The children of Saul and Vanessa:
Brannigan. He is his father's son. Only with his mum's hair. XD Also, just FYI, he rolled Romance and I kind of... Turned him into the town bike. If it was female, he tapped it all over his house. ^_^;;; And the ladies? THEY LOVED IT.
Uh. So, Autumn. Experiencing a hell of a lot of issues shared with Lila. Maybe they could start Skeletor's harem?
Sunny. In spite of looking like a dude in her first adult transition, is really quite lovely!
Amber! ^_^ Well on her way to baggig herself a rich, smelly geriatric! ^_^
Ruby = SUPER GORGEOUS! I guess she's Saul if he was a girl? Only kind of more well-rounded and smoothed into a longer face?
DANE! HELLO!! Actual masculine hot stuff. HOW FREAKEN AWESOME ARE YOU?! I'm sorry I ever doubted your potential as a child, k? Please don't get a complex about it. ^_^;;
And finally. Astrid. Oh, delicious, beateous Astrid. How I love ye and your alternating ski-bunny, spring break bikini wearing ways. *heartheart* Your mottled cute-as-a-button face brings me great and enduring joy! ^_^
~~~~~~
AND THAT! My friends, is ACTUALLY THAT! If anyone wants any of the cutie little ones for their game, let me know and I'll move heaven and earth to get it tohappen! I've read somewhere where if you just put all your game files in corresponding folders, you dont actually have to have the sims installed to run simpe. I'm thinking of experimenting with that and installing it in parallels and seeing how that flies. If it does HAPPY FREAKEN DAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
*hugs you all* THANKS FOR READING! XD *passes out*